• Member Since 9th Apr, 2013
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Lab Matt


I like writing stories starring Sunset Shimmer and sometimes Adagio is there.

T

On a cold winter night before winter break, Sunset Shimmer goes for a walk to try and get away from the Anon-a-Miss situation. After an unexpected meeting with Adagio Dazzle, a fateful event leads to a decision that changes all of their lives.

Featured: 24/01/2019
(Ok, why and how?)

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 76 )

i like how you made sunset and starlight both alicorns, and having them take over for celestia and luna respectively

Good job. You got across the AaM story without resorting to some of the more annoying tropes.

AJ flooring RD had me cheering, given RD is such an ass in this genre (usually).

... And this chapter ruined it for me. This doesn't even feel lile it belongs to the story at all. Only Adagio's reunion with Aria and Sonata does.

And it would've been fine with just that. Or maybe them and Sunset reconnecting.

The 1st chapter was actually very enjoyable. The epilogue...a bit far fetched to be honest.

Anyway, the CHS gang is broken, and Sci-Twi never found friendship. The End.

Interesting build up, but by the second half, fell completely flat on it's face. And the ending of the story... Fells completely out of place with the rest.

9420527
I respectfully disagree. I wonder if the author was watching the same show we are, as this did not feel like anything out of MLP. Friendship is magic right? Not here.

Wanderer D
Moderator

Hm, the last part of the first chapter felt rushed, you really could have done so much! I liked the general gist of the story, even if that was a bit of a downer for an ending... the Epilogue? It was a disappointing thing, tbh, especially in light of how rushed the last bit felt prior to it. I was hoping you'd cover some of the things you decided to basically just tell us, but instead we randomly have two new princesses (red flag) and again a rushed addition to the story.

Basically, from the point Adagio and Sunset arrived in Equestria, the story felt like you just wanted it over. I'm not kidding when I say that I would have really enjoyed a bit more of a payload with the story. Maybe not to the extent of every detail, but you know... don't end with a summary.

CSC

Great story!!

First chapter was good the second was crap!

Little weirded out by the ‘everyone’s a princess’ thing at the beginning, but it grew on me by the end. Good story!

How come we don’t see how it ends in the human world?

Twilight's repeated insistence that ponies would never do anything like that rubs me the wrong way. She's being super condescending in a weird way.

“You think that’s enough?!” Adagio didn’t want to shout, but she couldn’t stop herself from raising her voice. “Those maniacs almost killed her last night, and you think saying ‘I’m sorry’ will make everything better?!”

Sunset tried to kill all of them once.

9420527
How? How is this different from all the other Anon-a-Miss accusation fics where Sunset runs into a villain who's then somehow morally superior and Twilight vows to set them all straight? There must be a dozen or so of those on this site. Maybe the second chapter will be different, but the first one is almost by the book.

And it has huge blond spots. Like I noted above, nothing is made of what Sunset had done to them in the past, or the fact that the Rainbooms got bullied too over what Anon-A-Miss posted. Nope, they're just there to be yelled at and that's it. That's why they don't get to say anything either, because the story isn't interested in actually discussing anything.

9420828
On reflection, I find myself inclined to agree with you.

Then again, the EqG Holiday Special felt like nothing from the show, leaving me to question whether the comic authors watch the same show.

9421181
Twilight seems to be forgetting that her friends dumped her in the exact same way in 'A Canterlot Wedding'.

9420537
9420561
Yeah. I wasn't a fan of the first one either, to be fair. However, despite the tone of it, looking at it in the story's context means all of Sunset's former friends are dead. We don't know if they ever made up, or even tried, but considering the disdain the story has for them, probably not. They get dropped like baggage, exactly what Adagio accused them of doing to Sunset Shimmer.

It's a bit frustrating, to be honest, because the story is written quite well from a technical standpoint. Scenes flow well, characters have their own voices (when given the chance to talk)... the main problem is really that it's a standard accusation fic. Nothing gets resolved. Sunset runs away from her problems... and that's the last thing we hear of the whole matter. The Rainbooms served their purpose, being targets, and once that's done, they're forgotten. They're so unimportant, despite the fact that Princess Twilight takes the time to go back to talk to them, we don't get any info about how that went down. Or if they even talked at all.

9421230
Or that the exact same thing happened in her hometown. Gabby Gums anyone?

Also, again, Sunset Shimmer bullied the entire school for years on end and eventually tried to murder six girls, so maybe Princess Twilight should just stuff it with her holier-than-thou pony attitude.

9421228
I have since taken that opinion back. And I do agree with you on these points.

For an Anon-a-Miss story to work, in my opinion, it has to radically alter the original source material. Only that way will it hold a reader's interest.

9421261
Yes. BECAUSE THE RAINBOOMS ARE NOT GODS LIKE HER, THEY ARE JUST HUMANS. AND HUMANS, LIKE ALL OTHER LIFEFORMS, MAKE MISTAKES.

I kinda wanted to see another chapter depicting the Rainbooms and Anon-A-Miss actually confess to them (Also Princess twilight chewing out the humans)

9421264

I have since taken that opinion back. And I do agree with you on these points.

Ah, I see. Thank you for clearing that up.

For an Anon-a-Miss story to work, in my opinion, it has to radically alter the original source material. Only that way will it hold a reader's interest.

Certainly an approach. The comic's main issue is where it's situated in the EQG timeline. Before Rainbow Rocks, the humans had every reason to be distrustful of Sunset Shimmer. Even Twilight hesitated.

Few authors also make the effort to have the Rainbooms make their case. In the comic itself, Applejack actually defends Sunset Shimmer, it's only when the pics stored on Sunset's phone get out that they turn their backs on her, and even then they eventually listen to her after a while.

Mind you, it's still a highly-flawed comic.

9421280

TAnon-a-Miss
The infamous holiday special, retold in an entirely new way.
The Blue EM2 · 14k words  ·  67  23 · 2.9k views

If you want to read an Anon-a-Miss story that's a little different, and plays with the source material, you'd probably enjoy this one.

9421279
Or them being given a chance to express their side of the story.

This may seem odd, but I'm sick of the Rainbooms being used as punchbags.

9421306
Yeah me too

I always liked AAM stories where at least one of the the girls has a seed of doubt (mostly Fluttershy or Pinkie, since the other 3 will be more affected as they were the first victims)

9421309
Yep. AJ and RD can be stubborn, which is as much a strength as it is a weakness.

9421280
9421287
Or, if you somehow haven't read it yet, you could read Justice's take on it.
Not Another Anon-a-Miss Fic

9421380
I read that. A much-needed deconstruction of the comic.

Wanderer D
Moderator

9421261
Dude where the hell are you even getting that Sunset tried to murder them? You are literally the only person I've seen making this argument and it makes no sense.

Wanderer D
Moderator

9421543 Murder. Right. Wrong term for the situation. Also, unlike (edited for clarification) the people Rainbow Dash sent her way, she was at that moment possessed by magic and turned into an actual demon. Of her own making, sure, but before that, she wasn't willing to actually even hurt Spike.

So I definitely wouldn't equate that to the fully normal-state, non-possessed, average idiots that decided to burn down her house and beat her to death.

(edit 2: Not to say that I don't agree with Twilight coming across as sanctimonious and hypocritical.)

9421551
Lobbing a fireball at a person who—to the best knowledge of either of them—has no way to defend herself against it, I'd call that attempted murder, yes. Was she drunk on magic? Yes. As you noted, that was her choice, and her actions are her own.

Wanderer D
Moderator

9421580 Missing the point.

She attacked them while possessed using the same magic she had also used to transform Snips and Snails, and control the others. At no point did she say "DIE! I'm gonna kill you!" or anything like that. Add that she had proven that she was unwilling to actually harm others viciously before that to gain the definite advantage she wanted, but, I guess ignoring the context is a convenient way of demonizing someone (pun intended) and reflects the exact attitude of the Anon-a-miss followers, ironically.

For all we know she just wanted to knock them out or scare them. We don't know the power level of her attack.

To clarify, Twilight really has no hoof to stand on with those critiques, 100% agreed, but to equate that situation to the people that attacked her, who were not content to "just" scare her by burning down her house, or were "just" reacting at the moment to a situation of high stress that might end up with unintentional deaths (manslaughter) when it was clearly a premeditated action to destroy her house AND THEN beat the shit out of her and kill her only stopping when they thought they would get caught (which indicates that they were really going for it). Is basically not logical, nor should be used as some sort of lame excuse to justify their actions as some sort of "she did it first".

Besides, just to make the point further: Rainbow Dash betrayed her. It wasn't just some random happening or these guys came there on their own. They were not Sunset's friends. It's not the same "say sorry for attacking you when you are my enemies" to: "sorry for telling a bunch of people that went over and almost murdered you in cold blood because I couldn't get my head out of my ass and simply see that it's was a fucking stupid idea considering the circumstances. But hey, we can still be friends, right?"

9421597
She did say Twilight "tried to interfere with my plans one too many times already! She needs to be dealt with!" while powering up that fireball, and then threw it at her. After she claimed Twilight had no magic of her own. Do you really, honestly believe she was just trying to scare them? If she'd pulled a gun and shot at them, would you also claim she was "just scaring them"?

Is basically not logical, nor should be used as some sort of lame excuse to justify their actions as some sort of "she did it first".

Where did I say any of that?

D, are you saying Rainbow telling them where Sunset lived is the same as if she went there to burn her house down herself? When Rainbow, in the story, said she thought they would just spraypaint it or something?

Look, I agree Sunset was under magical influence when she tried to kill Twilight and the others, but she brought that on herself, and she did throw a fireball at them, right in their faces. I'm "missing the point" because I have no idea what you're trying to argue. Are you saying Sunset is innocent? Or are you saying because of the magic involved, we can't call it murder at all, it would be manslaughter at worst?

I'm not trying to be contrarian, just to understand your point.

Wanderer D
Moderator

9421618 I'm saying that:

“You think that’s enough?!” Adagio didn’t want to shout, but she couldn’t stop herself from raising her voice. “Those maniacs almost killed her last night, and you think saying ‘I’m sorry’ will make everything better?!”

Sunset tried to kill all of them once.

Implies that while they fought Sunset in a magical battle, in which Sunset's attack might have been (or might have been not) lethal, is concession enough to justify Rainbow Dash enabling people to go over with unclear but obvious malicious intent to Sunset's home. By any measure a court would find her responsible for manslaughter if Sunset had been beaten to death.

Sure, a "sorry" can be nice, but not appropriate or nearly enough, given the scope of what Rainbow's actions caused. Twilight and Adagio have all reason to be furious, even if they later on, and with a calmer mind, might recognize that it is not like AJ expected everything to just be forgiven.

9421597
By the way, D, there is a possible explanation for Sunset's unwillingness to go all the way before putting on that crown: She didn't have any magic yet. She wouldn't have had a way to protect herself from the fallout of her actions. After she put on the Element, those concerns vanished.

And to clarify, that's a possible interpretation of the situation, but more likely (at least to me) than saying she only threw a fireball right at a magic-less opponent just to scare her.

9421630
Ah, thank you. Now I get it. That wasn't the point I was trying to make there; I meant that that's the situation the Rainbooms found themselves in after the first EQG movie. At that moment, they had only Princess Twilight's plea and Sunset Shimmer's apology to go by. That was the start for them. No, it doesn't justify what happened (though RD claimed she had no idea of the danger she put Sunset in), but the apology is the moment after things can get worked through. Adagio denies them the same opportunity, to give Sunset Shimmer an apology and then work from there.

Which is a big problem with the story itself: The whole conflict with the Rainbooms is dropped as soon as there's no reason for more accusations and yelling, at the moment where things might actually improve between them or, well, break off for good.

Wanderer D
Moderator

9421642

Which is a big problem with the story itself: The whole conflict with the Rainbooms is dropped as soon as there's no reason for more accusations and yelling, at the moment where things might actually improve between them or, well, break off for good.

I mean, in this instance I can see Sunset really not wanting to deal with them at the time, but I see what you're saying. It's one of the issues with the ending of the first chapter being more of a summary than story. Even if we don't see what happens, Twilight could have told them how her discussion went, how they feel, whether or not they recognize that Sunset wasn't Anon-a-miss.

But we'll have to see if the author will change anything, or just accept that it's a current issue with this specific story and move on.

9421229
Maybe some of the comic writers do, but I question whether some of the writers of these fics watch the same show as we are. Friendship is Magic, right? Not here.

I liked this story not the best but not bad ether. I still would have loved to have seen what happened to the school and anon a miss

Wanderer D
Moderator

9423501 This discussion has already been had. Probably healthier for the author if it doesn't get re-ignited.

Decent idea, solid English all around. It would have been an enjoyable read, but there's a glaring issue though.

You know what I got.from this? Equestrians are inherently morally superior and can do no wrong.

Rainbow Dash sold out Sunset in a fit of short-sightedness, which eventually lead to the arsony and attempted homicide is depicted as a pretty negative thing, and all is not forgiven even if she felt bad about it afterward. Yet Adagio willfully causing the death of millions and have no remorse afterward? Nah, she's gucci.

The Humane Six got called out (rightfully) for their treatment of Sunset, yet Twilight is still depicted as having the moral high ground despite the fact that she just dropped Sunset in their collective lap with no regard for any kind and pranced off to Equestria. Did she expect friendship to magically grow out of the concrete? (I mean it did in canon, but still)

Sorry, but no. It's a solid piece of work, but I cannot agree with the content

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