Sunset gripped at the strap on her backpack tightly as her eyes traced down to the concrete below her. The familiar statue loomed over her as the sun cast its long shadow across the street. Sunset's mind raced wildly with everything that might happen on the other side of the portal. Would Celestia hate her for what she'd done? Would Twilight refuse to be friends? Would they even care at all? Sunset couldn't decide what was worse. Wind blew across her back, bringing with it the evening chill that would just make her anticipation even more uncomfortable.
A soft sigh left Sunset's lips as she looked up to the concrete face of the portal. Her last chance for answers was on the other side, but a sinking feeling in her stomach prodded at her anxiety, telling her something bad was about to happen. Sunset swallowed and closed her eyes, marching forward without thinking before she could get the chance to overthink this.
Her body slipped through with ease, throwing her into the familiar disorienting transformation that accompanied every trip back. She never really got used to it, as the strange aether between the dimensions stretched and twisted her very existence until she finally reconstructed back into her original form. The portal spat her out unceremoniously on the other side, with Sunset sliding face-first across Twilight's carpet after a tumble out of the mirror. Sunset let out a groan when she finally skidded to a stop, rubbing her head with a hoof.
Before Sunset could even get to her hooves, Twilight rushed in for a hug. The sudden force of a pair of hooves and wings wrapped around her forced her upright.
"Sunset! It's good to see you again," Twilight said with a gentle squeeze. She leaned back and gave a nod towards her friend. "You were supposed to be here twenty minutes ago, you know."
Sunset shook her head with a smile. "Not everyone can be as punctual as you, Twilight."
Twilight took a step back out of the hug. "Well, they should at least try." The smile quickly faded from Twilight's face as she looked over Sunset's somber expression. "Are you okay?" she asked, her tone softening in concern.
Sunset cleared her throat and stood up on all fours, wobbling for a moment before her instincts to stand on her back legs got the better of her. "I... not right now..." Sunset's eyes trace down to the carpet as the reason she was here gripped her with melancholy yet again.
"Well, maybe we can do something to make you feel better? Pinkie's concocted a new flavor of cherry ice cream at Sugarcube Corner we could try... Oh! There's also—"
Sunset lifted a hoof up to stop her a solemn expression stuck to her face. "Twilight, that's not going to help right now."
Twilight rubbed the back of her neck and gave Sunset a sheepish smile. "Right... sorry."
"It's okay. It's good to see you too, Twilight. I guess this just isn't something that's going to be fixed with ice cream. Believe me, I've already tried," Sunset said, rubbing an arm with her hoof and looking at the ground.
"I guess so. I'm sorry if I'm a little... forward. I've never been in this kind of situation and I really don't know how to help."
Sunset did her best to give Twilight a weak smile. A twinge of frustration shot through Sunset at the mention of helping her instead of the real victim, but she shook her head and pushed it out of her mind. "It's okay. No one really seems to know how to help. I don't even know if anyone can help."
Twilight took a few steps forward and wrapped a hoof around Sunset's shoulders as her head drooped. Sunset tried to look up and smile again, but the reality of the situation kept her head down. "If anyone can help you figure this out, it'll be Celestia, Sunset. I've already sent a letter ahead and there's going to be a royal guard envoy to take us to Canterlot in the morning. We're riding in style," Twilight said with a quick nudge and a wink.
Sunset just shook her head before looking up with a sadness in her eyes. "Do you really think she'll want to see me?"
Twilight raised an eyebrow. "What? Why wouldn't she want to see you?"
Sunset let out a frustrated groan and trotted a few steps away, looking up into the assortment of colors that made up Twilight's library. "You know why. I don't even know why you're being so nice to me, Twilight. I got someone killed."
The gentle pats of Twilight's hooves filled the room as she trotted over, giving Sunset a look of gentle sympathy. "You know I'm not going to be upset at you, Sunset. Your past is the past. You've done so many wonderful things that I could never hold this against you, even if the outcome was awful. I know you wouldn't if the situations were reversed."
Sunset pursed her lips and looked down to the floor. "I want people to be mad at me, Twilight. As stupid as it is, I wish people would just be angry and hate me so I could get it over with."
"Huh?"
"I'm thankful I have so many friends that want to support me, but you know how awful this is. How would you feel if I made Rainbow kill herself, or Rarity, or any of your friends? I took someone away from the world forever and robbed them of that friendship. No one should be giving me a pass, but all I've gotten since this has happened is support," Sunset said, closing her eyes and turning her head away.
Twilight let out a soft hmph and looked down herself. "I guess that does put it into some sort of perspective." She looked up, doing her best to give Sunset a warm smile. "But I've had a lot of ponies do a lot of awful things to me over the years, Sunset. I think if we can learn from our mistakes and be better friends, we shouldn't hold the past over each other's heads."
Sunset gave her another weak smile. "Insightful as always, Princess," she said, her expression quickly drooping back into melancholy. "This just isn't something that people should be so forgiving over. They should be mad at me, it should be hard to forgive me. I'd be happy for friends that would want to be around me despite it all, but it's like it doesn't really matter to anyone. I pushed someone to take their own life and everyone is acting like it's not a big deal." Sunset groaned and them slumped down to lie on her belly, planting her face in her hooves. "I've been on this loop for almost a week. I can't get my mind off of it."
Twilight grimaced for a moment as she looked down to her friend, uncertainty plain on her face. "Well, I'm not going to put you in stocks or throw you in a dungeon, Sunset. Maybe we could do something to get your mind off of it?" she said, putting on her best sheepish smile.
The cold crystal floor soon lost its appeal and Sunset leaned up on her hooves instead. "Maybe. What would you do in this situation, Twilight? What would you do if your actions got someone killed?"
Twilight blinked a few times at the question. "I... I guess I've never really thought of that. I'm not sure if I could forgive myself..." she said, her eyes tracing down to the floor in thought.
"It's even worse than that. What if they killed themselves because of you?" Sunset turned around to face Twilight, the frustration and anger and pain all bubbling up to the surface yet again.
"That's a really hard thing to think about. I don't know what I would do." Twilight finally looked up from the floor and gave her friend a half-hearted smile. "But I know that you're not the person that would ever do that to anyone anymore. Please don't lose yourself in the guilt, Sunset. I might not have an answer, but Princess Celestia will surely have some valuable insight."
Sunset let out a groan and rubbed her temple. "I really hope so. I can't keep going like this." Her hoof clacked against the crystal floor as she let it fall, letting her face droop in turn.
Twilight lifted a hoof forward under Sunset's chin to meet her eyes with her best reassuring grin. "No matter what you know your friends will be here for you, Sunset. Please don't forget that."
A weak smile crossed Sunset's lips as well. "I'll try not to." Sunset did her best to take in a deep breath and straighten up her posture. She knew the angst wouldn't make for a particularly fun evening for Twilight, so she clenched her eyes shut and did her best to push it to the back of her mind. "So, we've got a night before we leave, huh? How are we going to spend it?"
Twilight gestures over to the hallway and lets a few hoof beats resound throughout the massive halls as she makes her way over, beckoning Sunset after her. "Well I didn't have anything grand planned, but Spike is making a huge batch of hayfries and Pinkie just stopped by with a new batch of her experimental 'perfect princess candy cupcakes' she wanted me to try, so I thought maybe a quiet night of talking and having fun together might help get your mind off things. Starlight is here too and I know you two have been acquainted," Twilight said with a sly glance.
"Hey, she was bored and really wanted to see the human world. We didn't run into any major trouble... besides getting trapped in a magic mirror," Sunset said, a reminiscent grin slowly spreading across her face.
"You would think the human world would be a little less dramatic when it comes magical anomalies."
"Heh, yeah, you'd think." Sunset looked away again as the crystal castle's hallways shimmered from every direction on their walk. The smile quickly faded from her lips as the silence spread through the air. A pang of anxiety shot through her stomach as her mind reminded her why she was here in the first place. Sunset's mind raced with all the possibilities of what Celestia might say, desperately hoping for the fantasy of a satisfying resolution. The thought of an entire day of waiting inflamed the stress gripping her even more, even with the promise of a relaxing night with friends.
"So then he tossed the entire cinnamon nut cart at her," Starlight said with a lackadaisical wave of her hoof. "I swear Granny Smith was going to buck her all the way across Ponyville if I hadn't taken that magic back. I was so mad I ended up mind-controlling minions to attack her on accident. That mare can be a handful sometimes."
Twilight and Sunset shifted around on their bundles of pillows as the giggles absorbed them in their bright smiles. The windows around the purple-carpeted room painted soft moonlight on the corners of the floor, letting the flickering candles around the mares do the rest. Sunset settled back in to silky pillows and let her magic envelope another cupcake to float over to her.
"That definitely sounds like Trixie," Sunset said, letting out another quick chuckle. "You've got to be... rather direct with her if you want to get anything done."
Starlight let out a quick laugh and rolled her eyes. "I'll say. She has been a good friend at least, even with all the... incidents."
"Didn't she help you when your friends had their memories erased, Sunset?" Twilight asked with that familiar, sweet smile on her face.
"Yeah, she did. As much as I hate to admit it, her and I have a lot in common." Sunset looked down to the oddly-colored swirl of blue and pink sparkles on the icing and took a bite. The flavor sugary flavor tingled on her tongue with hints of magic.
Starlight waved away the notion with her hoof. "Just don't start referring to yourself in the third person and I think you should be okay."
"Heh, I'll do my best to resist the urge," Sunset says, setting the cupcake down in front of her. The momentary joy on her smile quickly faded as she sat her chin into the pillows and let her eyes train on the carpet. It didn't take much for the emptiness in her chest to return with her mind constantly trying to settle back on the one thing she didn't want to think about.
"Is everything alright?" Starlight asked.
Sunset flicked her gaze up for a moment to see the concerned expressions, but didn't linger long. "Not really, no."
"I know I've already said it, but I'm really sorry you've had to go through this. I can't imagine what it's like."
Sunset drops her face into the fluffy, purple pillows and lets out a frustrated moan at the platitude.
"Did I say something wrong?" Starlight says, her eyes oscillating between Twilight and her frustrated friend.
"She, uh... doesn't want this to be about her, if I understood her correctly," Twilight adds with a timid smile.
The harsh grip of frustration fades once Sunset brings her snout out of the fabric for some fresh air, but the despondent expression remains. "I don't know what I want, Twilight. Well... I just want things to go back to normal. I just want this to have never happened. I know it's selfish but you have no idea how hard it is living with the guilt of all this."
Starlight purses her lips and her eyes trace up to the ceiling in thought before swinging them back down to Sunset. "Well, can you really take the blame for this? He made his own choice to do that."
Sunset's brow furrows. "Why do you think he made that choice, Starlight? I ruined his life. If I wasn't a factor he would absolutely still be here. I didn't make that choice for him but I might as well have sat him on a cliff myself."
"But you would've stopped it, right? If you could? I'm just saying it seems like he made his decision to take the easy way out and if he had waited you two would probably be friends by now."
Sunset grit her teeth and shot a glare over at her. "The easy way out? How would you feel if one of your citizens killed themselves after your little equality experiment? How would you feel if your mistakes put a death on your conscience, huh?"
Starlight blinked in horror and pulled a hoof up between her and Sunset at the tirade. The anger boiled over inside her at the suggestion and Sunset looked between the two mares to see who else wanted to add to it, but only saw two slightly terrified expressions. Sunset let out another frustrated groan and shook her head, trying to let the rage flow out of her with a defeated sigh. "Sorry... look I can't just absolve myself of the part I played in his death. It's not that easy."
"I guess it wouldn't be. It's not something I'd ever want to have to relate to..." Starlight said, her eyes tracing down to the floor.
Twilight swirled a cupcake around with her magic in front of her, but decided not to take a bite. "Certainly not. We may not know how to help Sunset, but I promise we'll be here for you every step of the way," she said, doing her best to put on a reassuring smile.
"Thanks..." Sunset's ears drooped backwards anyway as she settled back into the pillows. Didn't reassure her much. Anxiety gripped at her stomach as she imagined how her meeting with Celestia might go. The usual series of catastrophic events phased through, but by now Sunset knew she wouldn't get the punishment she felt she deserved. Another disappointed sigh left her lips as she looked up to see her two friends awkwardly exchanging glances.
"You know..." Starlight starts, tapping a hoof to her chin. "Maybe there's a way we can fix this with magic."
Sunset's ears perked up and she looked over to Starlight with a sudden hope lighting up her system. "And what way is that?"
"Didn't you say you went back in time and warned yourself about something once before, Twilight?"
Twilight's face quickly twists in embarrassment. "That was an extremely advanced and pointless spell, Starlight. It only allowed me to go back a week and it didn't actually change the timeline. Anything that I went back to tell myself had already happened. Nothing would've gotten changed like that."
Starlight furrowed her own brow and looked down before finding something else in her mind. "Well, there's the time scroll I used to trap you in all those alternate timelines. If we could find it or recreate it, maybe..."
Sunset lifted her head off the pillow. "That won't work either," she said in a solemn tone, not taking her eyes off the floor. "Believe me, I've heard of it and studied the magic myself. I've thought about it, but even if I could recreate that kind of spell it doesn't change anything in this timeline."
Twilight raised an eyebrow, her pupils honing in with a sudden interest. "What do you mean?"
"If I go back into the past to change something I'll be stuck there forever. I'll disappear from this universe entirely and have to take my place in another one. There's an endless list of logistical problems and it'd mean leaving behind all of my friends, all of my experiences, everything I've ever come to learn and do for everyone I've cared about. I'd be basically dead to all of you if I stayed there where I could fix things. Going back and changing the past means creating another timeline entirely, so no matter what I end up doing... it doesn't bring him back here..."
"But it would take you away from us..." Twilight said, sadness in her eyes as they traced down to the floor as well.
"Exactly," Sunset let out, letting her chin down to rest back onto the pillows.
Starlight rubbed the back of her neck in embarrassment. "Guess I didn't think of that. Dimensions, huh? Weird to think about."
The emotion became unbearable for a moment and Sunset shut her eyes tightly, trying to block out the rest of the world. "I've spent so much time trying to think of a way to fix this. Every possible avenue I could think of wouldn't solve anything. No magic, no spells, no wishes or prophets could ever bring him back so I could just apologize. I've been fighting for an answer from the second I heard what happened and all I could ever come up with was regret and..."
Starlight took in a deep breath and looked over at Sunset with pity in her eyes. "I guess there really isn't any fixing this, is there?"
As soon as the words left her mouth it earned a harsh glare from Twilight. "Not helping."
"No, she's right. I've spent my entire childhood doing nothing but learning magic so I might be one of the most powerful unicorns in history, but there's nothing I can do to fix death, no matter how much I want to," Sunset said with a dejected sigh.
Starlight tapped her chin, furrowing her brow to think of some way to help before finally looking back over. "We've both done a lot of bad things to a lot of ponies, Sunset, but look at where we are now. You've helped a lot of ponie—er, people get to a better place in life and I know your friends wouldn't be the same without you. That's got to count for something, right?"
The void inside Sunset refused to relent. The little whispers of failure refused to let her think of any sort of positive her life had produced, just the one, massive negative that wouldn't release its grip on her mind. "I'm not so sure anymore," Sunset said, earning raised eyebrows from her friends. "I know I've helped people, I know my friends are happy I am who I am, but it doesn't erase my past. I've done my best to make up for it, but... I can't make up for this, and I don't know if I..."
Another huff of frustration left Sunset as she rose out of her collection of pillows to let the soft pats of her hooves pierce the silence. Sitting still was beginning to be uncomfortable as her body twisted with the discomfort at her own mind's negativity. Even the curious gazes of her friends was too much to face as she turned away from them to look out the window. "When I visited his grave I made a promise to myself that I'd never make anyone feel this way again. Maybe that's selfish too, but I know a lot of people blame themselves when it was really me that should take that blame. This feels so horrible... and not only did I push him to that, I made so many other people feel like this as well. Whatever I could do to stop it, I promised I'd always do my best to try, but I don't feel any better for saying that. I don't think this pain will ever go away and that's just the beginning."
Sunset's ears perked up slightly from laying back to hear her friends stirring around in their pillows as well. Her drooping head perked up as she felt a reassuring hoof cross her back and looked to each side to see the girls doing their best to give her comforting smiles.
Twilight nuzzled herself against Sunset's neck. "I'm not going to pretend to know how to make this better, but I do know in times like these having friends that care can make all the difference. Whatever happens we'll be here for you."
A comforting warmth broke through the void of sadness for just a moment at the feeling of Twilight's soft fur rubbing against her own, eliciting a weak smile on Sunset's lips. Starlight stepped forward into the moonlight. "Maybe this isn't something you can get over anyway."
Sunset almost let out a giggle as she felt Twilight's caring gesture quickly turn into another irritated glare. Starlight put on her best sheepish smiled and looked up at the ceiling again. "What I mean is maybe you shouldn't get over it. Our experiences make us who we are, don't they? This is admittedly a really horrible thing to have to learn from, but you could come out on the other side of this a stronger person more willing to do what's right. If you stick to your promise you could make sure less people overall have to feel that way than they would have if he was still alive. I know that's not going take the pain away, and it certainly doesn't mean his death was a good thing, but it does mean you can do better for the world, don't you think?"
Sunset looked up to the stars in the night sky and let out a slow, uneasy breath. "That would be a good mindset to take away from this, but I don't know if I can be that stronger person anymore."
Twilight lets her hoof fall off of Sunset's back and slips into the moonlight as well. "What do you mean?" she said with growing concern in her eyes.
"Ever since you pulled me out of that pit I've done my best to make up for what I've done. I've tried to form my entire identity around being the empathetic one, the person who cared for those I've hurt when no one else did, even to the point where it made my life worse to make someone else's life better, but..."
Starlight and Twilight both raised an eyebrow, letting off a "but?" in unison before glancing at each other and back to their friend.
"But things my friends have been telling me, the things I've been shown... I don't know anymore. I don't know if I'm the person I thought I was."
Twilight takes a step forward, her mouth hanging open slightly in confusion. "What? Sunset you're one of the most generous ponies I know. You've gotten the entire school to forgive you after doing everything you could for everyone you hurt. You've saved them from magical threats more times than I can count. You've made so much of a difference in everyone's lives that I think you've more than made up for the things you've done in the past."
"But that's just it, Twilight. Twilight told—uh, the other Twilight told me that this desire to make it up to people was getting so intense it was hurting my other friendships. I didn't want to listen because I knew I couldn't just let my desire to make up for my past go. I don't regret that I tried to make it up to others, but now I'm looking back and thinking that maybe my intentions weren't so... selfless."
Starlight leaned back on her haunches and gave her another raised eyebrow. "Do the intentions really matter if everything turned out okay?"
Sunset pursed her lips before looking back over to those curious violet eyes. "Of course they matter. I mean, I know I've made their lives better but what does it say about me that I'd do that at the expense of my friends?" Sunset's eyelids slipped down and another sigh left her lips. "Another friend of mine... Wallflower, she blew up at me for making this all about me. She yelled at me for making his death a me problem, something I couldn't make up for instead of thinking about every else it affected. She told me she didn't mean it but now I can't help but think I'm not the kind, empathetic person I thought I was. What if I'm doing these things only for myself, to make me feel better?"
A caring hoof found it's way to Sunset's shoulder from Twilight again, a gentle, sympathetic smile on her face. "Sunset, that's ridiculous. You're caring for others and doing what you can to make their lives better. That's about as far from selfish as you can possibly get."
Red and yellow hair flicked across Twilight's eyes as Sunset shook her head and took a step back. "Twilight, you don't understand. This matters because what happens when I've decided I've made it up to everyone? Would I even care anymore? Would his death even matter to me if I didn't need to obsessively make sure everyone stopped hating me? I've never been so devastated from anything in my life, but it's my fault for stepping on him when I was selfish. Now that things have changed and I'm upset that I can't make it up to him, I feel like I'm not the person I thought I was anymore. If I really was empathetic to those that needed it the most, he should have been the first person I talked to. I completely ignored my friend Wallflower until she lashed out with the memory stone when she ended up trying to kill herself before that too. I did nothing, Twilight. I didn't even think about her until she forced me to. How many more people have I ignored? How many more people am I going to do this to because they weren't the convenient ones to make up with?"
"Sunset, you couldn't have known," Twilight said in a soft tone.
"I should have. Now that everything I've done seems so much less noble, how can I expect people to respect me anymore? How can I expect my friends to rely on me anymore? How am I supposed to trust myself to be there for the people that actually need it if deep down I'm only doing it out of my own selfish desires? When those desires change what's going to happen? Who am I going to let die next because there are easier people to deal with?" Sunset said, her eyes flicking wildly across the carpet as panic slowly starts to grip at her insides.
"Hey, hey... you sound like you might be a little too hard on yourself," Starlight added with a reassuring hoof on Sunset's shoulder as well. "You've done a lot of good. You shouldn't overthink your intentions if the outcome has been so positive. I'm sure you don't plan on going back to how you were or just stop caring about everypony all of the sudden."
"But that's just it. I don't know anymore. I don't feel like I recognize myself anymore. After all this... I don't know if I have the confidence to be the person I wanted to be to others. I was content with the friends I had and basically had what I wanted while he died. How am I supposed to respect myself if I'm willing to put the costs of my actions on my friends to get what I want? Maybe it's good for others sometimes but more and more it seems like it's going to lead to something worse because I'm only thinking of what I need from others instead of what they all really need from me." Sunset closed her eyes and grit her teeth again, taking a few steps to the other side of the room. "If that's really who I am... the promise I made doesn't mean anything. When it doesn't suit me anymore I could let something like this happen again..." Another dejected sigh left Sunset's lips as her head drooped closer to the floor. " I mean, I'm still constantly wishing ponies would just hate me over this so I could feel like I was being punished. Even now... it's me, me, I, me... I'm the one with the problem and I don't know how to make sure others are safe from what I might do when I'm only thinking of myself." Sunset rubbed her foreleg with a hoof. "Maybe my friends would be better off without me altogether, if that's what's going to happen." Sunset's voice grew quiet and solemn with her last words.
The gentle flapping of wings and the soft brush of air across Sunset's coat announced Twilight's presence before she wrapped both of her hooves around her neck and held Sunset close. "Stop that. You know that's not true and you know your friends would be lost without you, Sunset. You're one of the best ponies I've ever gotten to know and I know that whatever happens you're going to make sure everyone ends up as good as they can be."
Another set of hooves slipped around her neck as well and she looked over to see Starlight nuzzling up against her cheek as well. "I may not have known you for as long, but she's absolutely right. You're a positive addition to both universes and I know you can get through this. Your friends would never be better off without you."
The lingering doubts settled into her stomach and refused to be washed away by the warm embrace, but Sunset lifted her hooves up to both of her friends anyway and did her best to put on a thankful grin. "Thanks, girls. I'll... I'll try to keep that in mind."
Twilight gave one last gentle squeeze before leaning away and giving Sunset that sweet, caring gaze she always put on in these emotional moments. "I know we may not be the most helpful for what you're going through, but please remember how much we care for you. It's only one more night, anyway; I know Celestia will be able to help you through this."
Sunset looked away, unable to share Twilight's confidence. "I hope so."
Starlight sat back on her hooves as well. "Maybe we should all get some sleep before we end up overthinking things. It is getting pretty late."
Sunset put a hoof behind her neck and blinked a few times, the lethargy starting to sting her eyes as well. "Yeah, that's probably a good idea. Don't want to work myself up too much before I talk to Celestia."
"It might be good for all of us to get some rest. I'll leave the cupcakes and fries in here if you want anymore, Sunset. Though... maybe just one more," Twilight said with a giddy smile as she lifted up another cupcake in an aura of magic.
"I'll see you guys in the morning," Sunset said, doing her best to try to keep her smile on.
Twilight leaned in for one last hug before turning away. "Goodnight, Sunset. I know the reason for the visit wasn't the best, but it's really nice to see you again."
"You too, Twilight."
Starlight stepped forward and set a hoof on Sunset's shoulder. "If you need anything don't be afraid to ask, alright?"
Sunset gave her a weak nod. "Of course."
The girls all traded their smiles and then the two purple mares left Sunset to her crystalline guest room. The warmth of the sweet gestures and caring hugs lingered in Sunset for a few moments, but as desperately as she tried to cling to the positive feelings, the negativity biting at the back of her mind quickly washed them away. The sinking nervousness in her stomach returned with a vengeance as she lethargically stepped over to the massive bed by the windows.
The softness of the sheets would've made Sunset swoon in comfort any other time, but as the regal comfort enveloped her entire body she still couldn't find any respite from her raging mind. Panic still teased the edges of her being as she thought about Celestia's disappointing glare, then intensified when she thought about her not even being disappointed, just not having an answer at all. Her mind raced through the faces of Soloman, then all of her friends... the scars on Wallflower's wrist, the worry on Twilight's face the day she heard... Sunset couldn't shake her own words out of her mind. Maybe they'd be better off without me...
Sunset wished desperately to wake up from the nightmare, to be the person she used to think she was again. Doubt constricted her confidence until all that was left was the lonely atmosphere of negativity swarming her mind. The future... her ideas of her own selfishness projected forward to imagine all the horrible her friends would suffer because she couldn't distinguish from it. Sunset clenched her eyes shut to try to push away the pain, but the evidence blared in her mind anyway. The ugly slashes across Wallflower's wrists flashed in her mind. It was almost two people...
Sunset let out a soft whine into her pillow and looked out to the moon, dread filling her mind as she knew she wouldn't be getting much sleep tonight. She did her best to get comfortable in preparation for the onslaught of awful thoughts that'd assault her before she was finally tired enough to fall asleep. Sunset clutched onto the one saving grace her mind could conjure—if anyone knew how to help her now, it'd be Celestia.