• Member Since 21st May, 2013
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I have no heart and my avatar makes everything sound sexual. Also, It's pronounced "sam-ee".


Why trying one method of learning to fly at a time when you can clone yourself and try all of them at once? Scootaloo, with a little help from her friends, is about to make this work.

Ponykind is about to change forever.

Preread by Cinder Vel, hawthornbunny, RK_Striker_JK_5, Sollace, and Telaros. Updated on Tuesdays and Fridays.

Russian translation by repitter:
Google Docs

Coverart created using vectors by: austiniousi, BestTubaHorse, CantercoltZ, Cheezedoodle96, CyanLightning, DeadParrot22, DisneyEquestrian2012, Firestorm-CAN, CloudyGlow, J-Pinkie, kuren247, lightningtumble,  Sollace, Scootaion, qazwsx302, SketchMCreations, slb94, thatguy1945, theairgonaut, TomFraggle, and DerAtrox (Scootaloo), DragonChaser123 (chicken), php10 (Scootacane), and BonesWolbach (background)

Chapter picture vectors by AugustTheHedgehog and php10

Chapters (6)
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Comments ( 155 )

No Horror tag?

“My leg!” Scootaloo exclaimed, rolling on the ground. “Celestia’s mighty boobs, my leg!”

I mean, they can't be that mighty; she's a horse.

Scootaloo 007 disappeared and was never seen again.

Bonbon refused to comment.

In any case, this looks like it's going to be wonderfully disastrous. I look forward to seeing it unfold.

would it be Gore if you had all three crusaders cloned and all the hearts that would pop out of chests after in horror?:scootangel:

Well, that'd be some meta-level horror. A story killing its readers.

The age old question. Can there be enough Scootaloos? :scootangel:

The real question is, how many Scootaloos does it take to change a lightbulb?

Doesn't matter. Needs more Scootaloos.

I was thinking more in universe actually.:twilightsmile:

This is simultaneously one of the funniest and most horrific things I have had the pleasure/horror of working on. May Celestia have mercy on the souls of those who read it, because they won't know whether to laugh or recoil. Possibly both, but yeah. This really is fucking awesome, Samey. legit glad to have helped with it. :D


I mean, they can't be that mighty; she's a horse.

Well, that would depend on the degree to which her body directs cellulite to her teats, as opposed to her haunches. This varies between individuals, depending primarily on hormonal levels.

Hmm, now that makes me wonder about Celestia's hormonal levels... I mean, she's over a thousand years old.

Rainbow Dash is best pony!

I hope Twilight doesn't just murder all of them, at least the ones like 21 and 53. They could escape and start a new life in Manehatten, like that one Pinkie clone.

Also wondering how teen Scootaloo from the cover art will factor into this, an age spell maybe?

Depends on how high up it is. It isn't like she can fly up to it. :trollestia:

This is the worst plan ever.

Of all time.

The ramifications and consequences of this will be, historic.

This needs to happen. There is no greater purpose in life than to fulfill this destiny:

By Celestia, Luna, Twilight Sparkle, and Princess Cadance's ass on a pitchfork... Discord save us now. :pinkiecrazy:

Crisis on Infinite Scootaloos!

I couldn't think of a better pun, I'm ashamed of myself.

Scootaloo 021 has a bit of a mouth, doesn't she?

I can already see where this is all going to go horrifically wrong--the same way most clone stories usually seem to end, honestly. :rainbowlaugh:

She usually opens her mouth to either say something nasty or to stuff some food in it, yeah.

Soon it won't be just Scootaloos...


Princess Cadance's ass on a pitchfork...


Seems that Dash chickened out :scootangel:

Damn, Twenty-One is ruthless. Just a few days old and already embracing the phrase "snitches get stitches".

Rule 1 about clones: If the clone is perfectly identical upon creation, the cloning was successful.
Rule 2 about clones: The goals of a viable clone will, invariably, differ from your own.
Rule 3 about clones: Don't.

She's very specific about her brand image. :pinkiecrazy:

Samey, you are fucking brilliant. :D That was a good tribute/riff to Robbie Rotten, there. :D All in all, yes. The ponies in Ponyville are idiots.

Fifty-Three groaned. “Do I have to give you a lesson in trickery? Just follow my moves and sneak around...”

That Scootaloo must really be number one!

Ponies in Ponyville could be really dumb, sometimes.


So I should just assume that everypony involved in the cloning has at least one clone at this point?

Silver Spoon doesn't. Yet.

Scootaloos 007, 147, 191, and 227

Probably just a coincidence, but I notice that all but one of those missing Scootaloos had a 7 at the end of their numbers. :rainbowderp:

the stand with pencils and rare battle axes.

You know, considering that and other shopping locations there, Ponyville must have the most absurdly niche market in the world. :rainbowlaugh:

Rumble's in for a disappointment. Or the best surprise ever. Depending on how he reacts to his crush suddenly multiplying by a couple hundred.

Can see even clearer now how this all goes south. Starlight, you don't realize it yet, but you've just lit the fuse.

Considering the amount of ponies that have different colors, yet share the same mane and tail style, I wouldn’t be surprised if they didn’t think much of other ponies looking exactly the same.

9434632 9434637
It's either that the Ponyvillians are all idiots, or they're so used to the crazy things that seem to gravitate there more than Gravity Falls that its some sort of coping mechanism to deal with it all.

Plus, the CMC are all up to crazy things so often on a regular basis, so I could see a number of ponies just assuming that (since they've seen no more than three Scootaloos at a time yet) the other two CMC are disguising themselves as Scootaloo (or some similar theory), for reasons they've already decided they don't actually want to know. :rainbowlaugh:

I guess you've got a point there, Doesn't excuse their naivete for falling for Flim and Flam's schemes repeatedly.

Yeah, I’m not downplaying anything, but ponies can be pretty stupid at times.
I’d say the latter (meaning he also hit the jackpot, same for Tender and Button too).

I could understand those headcanons.

Starlight levitated her cup of cocoa. “It’s not a story Twilight would tell you…”

It’s a Sith legend. Darth Plagueis was a Dark Lord of the Sith, so powerful and so wise he could use the Force to influence the midichlorians to create life… He had such a knowledge of the dark side that he could even keep the ones he cared about from dying. The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. He became so powerful… the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice killed him in his sleep. Ironic. He could save others from death, but not himself.

“You’d know if you read something from time to time, Scootaloo,” the filly said, fixing her glasses. “Also, it’s not even about the comics. It’s comics, Button Mash, and breakfast menu at HayDonald’s.”

“Who?” Fifty-Three asked.

“Of all the ponies, I’d expect you to know Button Mash, Sweetie Belle!” the filly exclaimed. “Especially after you tried to steal him from me!” She huffed and walked away.

Ooooh, Kinda sorta continuity. I noticed the "tried to", implying they're together. You low key shipping Twist and Button? Last time I remember you doing that was Zombons or Mission Control(I think, my memory's hazy on this one). Any chance of seeing these two again as main characters in any stories?

Not enough Scootsloos. Need more!

Also Silver is being really lovely with her new power.

The ethical implications of this mess boggle the mind.

I see that no matter how many times the Cutie Mark Crusaders get covered in tree sap, they never learn. Who knew horses had so little pattern recognition :pinkiecrazy:? Make no mistake, I'm pretty certain they will get covered in tree sap before this is over!

Still, I got to give the CMC + Diamond Tiara + Silver Spoon some credit. Despite being a disaster of an idea, they actually seem to be pretty decent at planning stuff out, building the cells for the Scootaloo clones, and getting enough food for 300 Scootaloo clones. If they were to translate that talent into actual non-crazy ideas, they'd do pretty well. Of course, being able to plan just means that the Scootaloo clones will have more time to learn before they're found out...and of course, the more they learn, the more they grow, the more chaos there'll be.

Scootaloo 007 disappeared and was never seen again.

They say to this day that she became a disciple of Special Agent Sweetie Drops

I only chose 007 and 147 deliberately. The latter is a snooker reference.

Rumble's in for a disappointment. Or the best surprise ever. Depending on how he reacts to his crush suddenly multiplying by a couple hundred.

Well, if they feel one Rumble is not enough, they can always clone him...

And now changelings run around legally (and earlier they ran around illegally). Not to mention crowd scenes in early seasons.

They probably think it's a Dress Like Scootaloo Day or something like that. Also, there's a headcanon that Celestia sends all the weirdest ponies in Equestria to Ponyville (hence why a former government agent Bon Bon is there). This makes Screw Loose so insane that even other insane ponies keep her locked up.


You low key shipping Twist and Button?

I started to do that in Zombons, yeah. Also, they appear again in Five Fillies at HayDonald's, discussing comic books.

Indeed. Especially after Fifty-Three hears what happened to Pinkie clones...


getting enough food for 300 Scootaloo clones

I'm pretty sure Applejack forgot about half of the barns she built in the orchard. That, or she wonders why the apples seem to disappear. And of course, clones watch and learn. And the more they learn, the more their personalities differ from the original (hence where Twenty-One's obsession with food comes from).

So Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle both have multiple clones, and even Diamond Tiara has a clone.

How long before Silver Spoon has a clone who's intelligent and learns and overtakes the real Silver Spoon, before assembling the run-amok Scootaloo clones into a real army to take over Equestria?

The clones think Ponyvillians are really stupid. I don't think it's that. I think it's just that seeing so many Scootaloo clones is only the fifth-weirdest thing that's happened this week (although of course, some of them really are dumb if they think the Scootaloo on either side of a Scootaloo clone is Abby and Sweetie).

Indeed. Also, maybe some of them are colourblind and mistake one of them for Archer...

Why do I get the feeling that things are gonna get darker...?

“Everything, Twenty-One,” Scootaloo 053 replied. “Everything.”


“All I found was this saxophone.” Hundred-and-Fifty produced a saxophone and tried to play it, with rather poor results. “And Fifty-Three got a net.”


Wonder which of them is the number one...

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