//------------------------------// // 3. Scootahypothesis // Story: Applied Scootascience // by Samey90 //------------------------------// CHAPTER III SCOOTAHYPOTHESIS Scootaloo 021 burped and wiped the trail of ketchup off her face. After eating about a dozen Egg HayMuffins, drinking two large cokes, and then having more hayburgers and fries than she could count, she felt like either falling asleep or rushing to the toilet to get rid of excess calories, in one way or another. She also noticed that other ponies had those little things called ‘money’ which they gave the staff in exchange for food. Scootaloo 021 didn’t have money. Unfortunately, most of her escape plans relied on her, currently compromised, ability to hover at large speeds. She was about to burp again and order some ice cream to gather her thoughts, when the door opened and Scootaloo 053 walked in. Twenty-One could tell it was her due to ruffled mane and stern gaze never seen on any other Scootaloo, including the original. “Do you want ice cream?” Scootaloo 021 asked when Fifty-Three sat on the seat in front of her. “Or maybe a hayburger?” “Stick your hayburger when it doesn’t belong,” Fifty-Three muttered. “We need to change all our plans.” “Why?” Twenty-One asked. “We can’t rebel?” “Nah,” Scootaloo 053 replied. “We need to start as soon as possible, maybe even tomorrow. Before Twilight Sparkle gets to us.” “Ah, okay.” Twenty-One nodded, looking at the ice cream machine. “Who’s Twilight Sparkle?” “She lives in that crystal tree and from what I’ve heard, she’s very powerful!” Fifty-Three exclaimed. “She can send us back to the pool!” Twenty-One’s stomach rumbled. “Back to the pool? How do you know?” “A local baker apparently cloned herself once,” Fifty-Three replied. “When it was discovered, Twilight Sparkle sent all the clones back to the pool and they sit there to this day! And recently she had a filly put in Tartarus because she tried to take over her school or something! And there was that thing about cutie marks!” “What about it?” Fifty-Three shrugged. “No idea, but Starlight Glimmer seemed pretty embarrassed about that. Anyway, we need to set things into motion before Twilight Sparkle comes back from vacation.” “But how are we going to defend ourselves against her?” Twenty-One asked. “We’ll think of something,” Scootaloo 053 replied. “For example–” She paused when she saw another Scootaloo walking towards them. More exactly, Scootaloo with newly-gained black streaks in her mane, a lot of eyeliner, and several silver piercings adorning one of her ears, as well as her eyebrow. “Hundred-and-Fifty?” Scootaloo 021 asked, chuckling. “What happened to you? Were you trying to blend in?” “Some insane filly happened,” Scootaloo 150 replied. “She’s apparently Apple Bloom’s cousin and she comes from Manehattan.” “What’s Manehattan?” Fifty-Three asked. “What’s a cousin?” Twenty-One furrowed her eyebrows, but the sudden hiccup ruined her thinking expression. Hundred-and-Fifty shrugged. “Well, Manehattan is–” Fifty-Three stood up. “You’ll tell us on the way! There’s no time to waste!” They helped Twenty-One get up from her seat and marched out of the restaurant, looking around nervously. Seeing this, two workers of the HayDonald’s walked to the break room and disappeared in a flash of magic, revealing themselves to be Pterostigma and Sclerite. “Have you seen this?” Pterostigma asked. “Yeah, they didn’t pay,” Sclerite replied. “And one of them ate enough to feed our village back home.” “No, I mean those were three Scootaloos,” Pterostigma said, rolling her eyes. “And one of them was the same that crashed into our house.” “Really?” Sclerite scratched his head. “I couldn’t tell. After all, they’re all the same, right?” Pterostigma groaned. “How did you even tell drones apart back in the hive?” Sclerite smiled sheepishly. “I didn’t.” When the three Scootaloos came back to the barn, they found out that it was way more crowded than they remembered it. Now, there were two or three Scootaloos in each cage, some of them wearing collars and some not. The collarless ones were looking at each other unsurely, barely saying a word. As soon as Fifty-Three, Twenty-One, and Hundred-and-Fifty stood in the centre of the barn, another filly, known as Scootaloo 201 landed in front of them. “We did it!” she exclaimed. “Did what?” Fifty-Three asked. “During a test flight, the ten of us strayed into the Everfree Forest,” Scootaloo 201 replied. “We found the pond and took a bath.” She pointed at the ten Scootaloos sitting behind her. “Meet 201A, 049A, 008A, 300A, 012A, 010A, 034A, 063A, 111A, and 022A.” “Rainbow Dash is best pony!” Scootaloo 022A exclaimed. Scootaloo 021 rolled her eyes. “As if one retard wasn’t enough.” “There’s more.” Two-Hundred-and-One smirked. “Then we took another bath in the pond, creating the generation B. Our clones also went with us, creating the generation AA. From the initial ten, we had forty clones at that point. Then eighty. Then a hundred and sixty…” Scootaloo 053 suddenly felt her throat going dry. “How many are there now?” “The pool soon got too small,” Scootaloo 201 replied. “At some point, so much water soaked into our furs that it started to dry. Our initial plan was to do that a hundred times, but then Three-Hundred pointed out the number of Scootaloo would have thirty-one zeroes, which probably wouldn’t fit on this planet. So, we did that ten times and ended up with a humble 10,240 clones, not counting those who stayed here. Or you three.” “Motherfucker…” Scootaloo 021 muttered. “And they all fit in the barns?” “Nah, most of them sit in the forest,” Two-Hundred-and-One replied. “We specifically chose the best fliers for cloning to give us the upper hoof.” Scootaloo 053 nodded. “This should do. Before we leave, we should unite by sharing Rainbow Dash trivia and remembering the Tragedy of the Pinkie Clones.” “Dude, what?” Scootaloo 201 raised her eyebrows. “No time for that,” Hundred-and-Fifty whispered, her ears perking up. “Someone’s outside…” Silver Spoon looked around and furrowed her eyebrows. She was usually the first to come to the training grounds, but even in the early morning there’d always be several Scootaloos already warming up. This day, however, the grounds were empty. Silver could hear some rustling and hushed conversations from the barns, but it didn’t look like anyone would be going outside. Her frown deepened; she stood in the middle of the square and cleared her throat. “Rise and shine, chickenshits!” she exclaimed. “Some of you achieved very promising results yesterday. Time for your daily dose of aerobic exercise!” Nopony replied. Silver Spoon sighed and walked to Barn 1. “Don’t make me wake you up, morons. Get out now, or you can say goodbye to your breakfast!” Still, there was no reaction. Silver groaned and opened the barn door, walking inside. There was a sound of something heavy hitting the ground, accompanied by a muffled groan. Several more blows followed and Silver Spoon flew out of the barn. It wasn’t a great flight. Scootaloo 021 could achieve longer air time after devouring a huge cake in one sitting, but, after all, Silver had no wings. She landed in a puddle of mud with a loud splash, rolling for a while before skidding to a halt in some foul-smelling liquid she hoped was just dirty water and not the result of some clone relieving herself mid-flight to gain altitude. Silver groaned, sweeping her hair off her face and looking at the barn door which had just burst open. One of the lenses of her glasses was cracked, but she could still see what was coming out of the building. “Shit,” she said. “Come on, sisters!” one of the clones exclaimed. “To the pool with her!” Silver stood up. She could hear the sounds of thousands of hooves when the doors of the other barns opened, revealing waves of Scootaloos in the first rays of the sun, walking in an eerily synchronised way. “Free the Apple Blooms and Sweetie Belles! They’ll join us!” “Where’s the town? We need to go to the town!” “Let’s catch Zero first!” “The town? I know where it is! Follow me, sisters!” “You know shit! You’re a clone of a clone of a clone!” Silver Spoon wasn’t used to running. This time, however, she beat Equestria’s record, rushing towards the clubhouse and proving that ten thousand Scootaloos could, indeed, be a powerful source of motivation. “Come on, girls! Get her!” “Where are the Sweetie Belles? Fire at her with some spell or something!” “Fire!” One of the freed Sweetie Belle’s clones aimed her horn at the nearest tree, lighting it ablaze. “Fire!” Silver Spoon galloped faster, ignoring the burning in her lungs. She reached the clubhouse and climbed up the ladder, collapsing on the porch. “Help…” she panted. The door opened and Silver Spoon screamed, seeing another Scootaloo. “What’s wrong with ‘er?” Apple Bloom asked, dragging Silver Spoon inside. “Shut up, Silver, it’s the real Scootaloo!” “Clones…” Silver Spoon looked around to see Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle, Diamond Tiara, and her clone, a quiet filly she called Dee-Dee.” Clones… They rebelled…” At the same moment, the window of the clubhouse exploded when one of the clones charged at it. Two more managed to get through, but the fourth one, Scootaloo 021 herself, got stuck in the frame. “Run!” Silver exclaimed, seeing the three clones getting up from the floor. “Run for your lives!” “No!” Diamond Tiara exclaimed, punching the nearest clone and sending her at the wall. “We shouldn’t go outside! Block the door! Make this place our stronghold!” She kicked another clone. “Hmm, I always wanted to do that.” She turned, only to see that Silver Spoon, Scootaloo, Apple Bloom, and Sweetie Belle had already run away. Frowning, she faced the clones, only to see that had someone opened the door, letting in more of them. Dee-Dee was standing among the Scootaloos, slowly cornering Diamond Tiara. “Dee-Dee?” Diamond asked her clone. “Even you? Against me?” “Well, now we’ll see who’s the real Diamond.” Dee-Dee smirked. “Frankly, you should’ve expected that. After all, wouldn’t you always side with the winners?” Diamond Tiara shook her head. “You have to learn a lot to truly be a member of the Rich family, Dee-Dee. For example…” “For example what?” Dee-Dee tilted her head. “That!” Diamond Tiara exclaimed, standing on her front hooves and spinning, landing a powerful kick with her hind legs right on her clone’s face. Dee-Dee rolled backwards while Diamond Tiara charged at the Scootaloos, knocking them down like bowling pins. She darted out of the clubhouse and leapt down, grabbing the collar of some clone flying by. The clone made a choking sound. Her wings were too weak to fly with an additional weight, but it was enough to make her an impromptu parachute. They fell on the ground. Diamond recovered and ran away, turning quickly to avoid the flying invaders and kicking whoever she could. It didn’t take long before she caught up with Silver Spoon, whose breath turned into loud wheezing. Diamond tried to pull her out of the danger, but it was no use; more and more Scootaloos surrounded them from all sides, including the sky. “There are too many of them!” Silver Spoon exclaimed. “You don’t say!” Diamond Tiara looked around. “And I gave up the high ground…” “What do we do now?” Silver tried to hide from the approaching Scootaloos behind Diamond Tiara. “The same thing as ever,” Diamond replied. “Listen up, morons, we want to negotiate!” “What do you have to offer?” one of the Scootaloos asked. Diamond Tiara smiled and pointed at Silver Spoon. “If you set me free, I’ll give you her!” “What.” Silver muttered as everyone around them went silent. The clones looked at each other. Some of them were pondering the proposition while the others were explaining the meaning of the word “negotiate” to their friends. “Give us five minutes,” one of the Scootaloos said. “See? I sow the seed of doubt in their hearts.” Diamond smirked. The nearest Scootaloo furrowed her eyebrows and looked at Diamond Tiara. “So, if we set you free, we can take Silver with us?” “Exactly,” Diamond replied. “Isn’t it the greatest trade deal in the history of the trade deals?” The clone nodded. “But if we don’t set you free, we can take both you and her with us. Who’s gonna stop us?” Silver chuckled. “Now they got you. Because really, there’s the two of us and about five hundred clones, right? Why’d they set you free and put me in a cage or somewhere, if they can have both of us for the price of one? Now that’s a trade deal, smartass!” “You do realise it means we’re both toast, right?” Diamond rolled her eyes. “We are?” Silver Spoon’s smile faltered as she finally registered the presence of Scootaloo clones around them. “Damn, we are.” Five minutes later, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, both a little more bruised and with their manes ruffled, were sitting in the cage. “It was worth a try,” Diamond said. “That way, at least one of us would be free.” “Yeah, I wouldn’t have to listen to you,” Silver replied. Despite the cage being rather small, she was trying to sit as far from Diamond Tiara as possible. “I did my best,” Diamond Tiara said. “Look, they’re not doing any better.” She pointed at Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle, who were climbing up a tree. “Did they forget the clones can fly?” Silver shrugged. “We’re smarter than that! How did we even get caught?” “Because of your asthma and those morons being too dumb for negotiations.” Diamond watched as Sweetie Belle was tackled and dragged away from the tree. Scootaloo, however, was still defending herself – mostly because the clones weren’t sure which Scootaloo to catch. Diamond winced when the tree, overloaded by Scootaloos, finally broke and fell. “Just great,” Diamond Tiara muttered when Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo got pushed into a cage with them. “You got caught too? It seems that at least Apple Bloom had enough brains not to get caught. Who’d thought?” “Oh, shut up,” Sweetie Belle replied. “What are they going to do to us?” “Nothing good,” Scootaloo replied, watching the clones busting into houses and ponies running everywhere. Daisy, Lily, and Roseluck galloped past them, screaming and tripping over each other. On the other side of the street, several clones ran away from a heavy barrel hurled from the balcony of Berry Punch’s house. Berry’s daughter Ruby stood next to her mother, shooting at the incoming clones with a BB-gun. They only ran away when a squadron of Sweetie Belles approached the house, burning holes in the roof with their spells. “We’re doomed!” Silver Spoon shouted. “Doomed, I tell you!” “Oh, what a crock of shit,” Octavia growled, looking through the window and putting her teacup on the table. She turned to Vinyl. “Is it your fault, by any chance?” Vinyl shook her head. “Bugger,” Octavia replied, watching as the clones chased Rumble and Thunderlane down the street. Rumble seemed somewhat conflicted – as if his brain was telling him to run away from the herd of Scootaloos but his wings kept telling him to stay. “I believe this is the best time to visit good, old Trottingham, don’t you think?” Vinyl nodded. “Splendid.” Octavia clapped her hooves. “Take my cello. I’ll get my cricket bat.” They walked outside just when a horde of clones managed to catch Cloud Kicker in a net. Seeing this, Vinyl looked at Octavia. “No, Vinyl, we shall not run away screaming like lowly peasants,” Octavia said, extending her hoof with a cricket bat so that one of the clones ran straight into it. “We shall walk to the station with dignity and pride.” She tripped an Apple Bloom’s clone charging at her and hit her with the bat. The hair bow cushioned the impact, but it was still enough to knock this particular clone into the middle of the next week. They walked across the town. Some buildings were in flames and there were a lot of Scootaloos running around, but Octavia took it all with dignity, walking towards the train station and carefully avoiding bigger brawls. They were about to reach the platform, when three clones jumped at them from the roof. Octavia swung the bat, sending one of the clones flying in a way that’d give her team a lot of runs. Vinyl blasted the other filly with her magic; she tumbled on the ground, covering her ears. Vinyl smirked, but her expression quickly turned into a frown, when she saw the third Scootaloo sneaking on Octavia from behind. Vinyl didn’t think for long. She levitated the cello case and smacked the clone in her side. Octavia turned back, startled by the noise, and smacked the clone again, knocking her down. “Watch out,” she said to Vinyl. “This is an expensive cello, you know.” Vinyl shrugged and they walked to the platform. The cash registers were abandoned, but Octavia didn’t seem to mind and looked at the timetable. “It seems that our train may be running late,” she said. “Griffish Isles should’ve never joined Equestria. At least the trains would run on time.” Vinyl shrugged and rolled her eyes. Octavia huffed. “There’d still be a train from Ponyville to Trottingham, don’t be silly.” Vinyl looked at the empty tracks. “I am aware there’s no train right now,” Octavia said. “Perhaps this whole situation caused some delay. Do you think we can get some tea here?” Vinyl shrugged again. She was about to show Octavia where exactly she could stick her tea, when they heard some strange noise. Octavia raised the bat, ready to face the new opponent, but what they saw was even stranger than ten thousand Scootaloos rampaging across the town. Some bizarre contraption rolled onto the platform. It looked like a bastard offspring of a steam locomotive and a sewing machine, with a lot of wires sticking out in all places. The door on the side of the machine opened. Octavia raised her eyebrows slightly, seeing Derpy, who emerged from it. “Hi, girls!” Derpy exclaimed. “Are you going to Trottingham, by any chance?” “Yes, please,” Octavia said. “Where did you get that thing?” “Doc built it,” Derpy replied, pointing at her friend, Doctor Time Turner, who sat in the cockpit of the machine, along with Dinky, Lyra, and Bon Bon, who was driving shotgun. Or, from the looks of it, a watch equipped with a grenade launcher, a laser, and a bottle opener. “Blimey.” Octavia nodded. “Is it faster than those little buggers, though?” “No worries,” Doc said. “If my calculations are correct, when this baby hits eighty-eight miles per hour–” “Great. Vinyl, get my cello!” Octavia exclaimed, stepping on board. Vinyl followed her, sitting in the back and giving Ponyville one last look before the machine darted forward, leaving the whole pandemonium behind. "Come on, Button!" Twist exclaimed, dragging Button out of one of the abandoned buildings. "If we die because of you, your mother is gonna kill me!" "We need to find Sweetie!" Button replied. "I can't run away without her!" Twist rolled her eyes. "Yeah, and then let's find Alula, Ruby Pinch, Peach Fuzz, Zipporwhill, Boysenberry, and whoever we ever talked to! And then we'll all get caught by those zombies." "Clones," Button replied. "It's clones." "Whatever." Twist sighed. "Why does that always happen? Like, every time this town goes to horseapples, we run away together." "Destiny?" Button asked. "I wonder what did I do in my previous life, then," Twist said. "Also, we could save a few more ponies." Button looked around and trotted to the nook, away from the clones. "Like Rumble. Wonder where he is." "I saw a dozen of Scootaloos carrying him away somewhere, tied and gagged." Twist shrugged. "It didn't look like he was resisting much." Button nodded. "What about Babs? I think she was in town." A clone hit the pavement right in front of her. They looked up and saw Babs standing on the roof and punching another Scootaloo. "She seems to be on top of things," Twist deadpanned. Button nodded. "Okay, let's just focus on finding Sweetie, alright? She must be– Sweetie!" He ran out of the nook and crossed the road, seeing Sweetie Belle hiding between two buildings. Twist shook her head and followed him, dodging the running clones. "Sweetie!" Button exclaimed, running to the white filly. "Are you okay? We were worried about you." Sweetie looked at him and smiled. "Fire!" she exclaimed, lighting her horn and setting the thatched roof of the nearest house ablaze. Button backpedalled, seeing another five Sweetie Belles emerging from behind the corners and walking towards them. Twist furrowed her eyebrows. "Well, here's another nice mess you've gotten me into..." Starlight ran. She was pretty sure the nasty curse she’d conjured and left in her office when the clones reached the School of Friendship would be enough, but even though it blew up a half of the roof, the clones kept coming. Starlight spent most of her magical energy on that curse and all she achieved was the sight of the clones that had been caught in the explosion, which kept haunting her. Thus, she decided to do one of the things her old, evil self had always been good at. She ran away. It didn’t take long before she reached Carousel Boutique, overrun by clones – more specifically, Sweetie Belle clones. Starlight watched as one of them fired a spell which left a scorched hole in the wall. She stopped, wondering how to stop that, when Rarity appeared in the hole, fire burning in her eyes. She lit up her horn. “Not my boutique, you ruffian!” Rarity exclaimed, firing a spell at Sweetie’s clone. Starlight felt the disturbance in the magic field as grass growing beneath the magic beam withered and died instantly. When smoke dissipated, all that was left of the hapless Sweetie clone was four smouldering hooves. Her companions ran away, screaming. “Careful!” Starlight exclaimed. “One of them could be a real one!” “Frankly, darling, I don’t give a fuck,” Rarity muttered. “Come here, Starlight, we need to find the rest and message Twilight.” Starlight looked around and ran to the boutique. As soon as she entered, Rarity levitated a heavy closet and barricaded the hole in the wall with it. “I’m pretty sure my sister is behind all this,” Rarity said, looking through the window. “Well, not as much as Scootaloo, but this just smells of her.” “Where are they?” Starlight asked, suddenly thinking of the explosion in the School of Friendship and shuddering. If real Crusaders were among the attackers, she’d have a lot of things to explain to Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity. “Applejack is upstairs,” Rarity said. “Unfortunately, I had to knock her unconscious.” She blushed a little. “She wanted to come out and look for Apple Bloom.” “Not the best idea right now,” Starlight muttered. “How about–” She was interrupted by a loud roar. Shivering, she stood by the window. Having only seen him around Fluttershy, it was easy to forget that Harry the Bear was, well, a bear. The apex predator, the product of millions of years of evolution that made him a perfect killing machine. This time, however, when he ran across the town with bare fangs and Fluttershy sitting on his back, it suddenly became easy to remember – especially for all the clones running away from his path. Angel was running around Harry, waving his paws and making rude gestures at the Scootaloos. Fluttershy stood on the bear’s back and waved at Rarity and Starlight. “Umm...” she blushed. “Come with me if you want to live!” Rarity and Starlight looked at each other. “On one hoof, it seems insane,” Rarity muttered. “On the other, I prefer a mare with a bear than those little ruffians… Right?” “I still hope that I’ll wake up and find out it’s only me seeing things because I forgot to take my dried frog pills,” Starlight replied. “I take that as ‘yes’, darling.” Rarity walked to the stairs. “I’ll pick up Applejack and we can go.” A few minutes later, they were running across the town along with Fluttershy and unconscious Applejack, hanging from Harry’s back. The whole town was still swarming with Scootaloos; most ponies were running away, either towards the train station or the outskirts. Some of them were running in circles. Several earth ponies clung to Cherry Berry’s helicopter, but most of them fell off, landing in the river. “Where are we going?” Rarity asked. “Maybe to the school? It should be safe.” “No!” Starlight exclaimed. “I… I mean, they unleashed some curse there. Some of them have tentacles and a dozen of them fused into a gelatinous cube.” “We should find Pinkie and Rainbow Dash.” Fluttershy said. “Then we should run to some safe place and message Twilight.” Rarity nodded. “Sugarcube Corner. If we don’t find Pinkie there, we should look for the weirdest thing around.” Starlight smirked in a way suggesting that the sight of so many Scootaloos didn’t help her sanity in any way. “You think?” Rarity looked around. “Okay, weirder than this.” She trotted forward, pushing some Scootaloo clone out of the way. “Get out, scoundrel! Let’s go!” They trotted towards the bakery. Fights in most places had died down; the buildings were overrun by clones and most ponies either already escaped or were captured. Sugarcube Corner itself was currently empty, except of one Scootaloo clone which, unlike the original one, was rather plump. Appropriately, she was just in the middle of consuming a tray of cupcakes. “Who the fuck are you?” the clone asked when she saw them. Starlight furrowed her eyebrows and used her magic to yank the clone’s collar, causing her to choke on the cupcake. Then she levitated the clone and threw her on the counter. “Twenty-one,” she said, looking at the tag on the clone’s collar. “You should be more polite when talking to adults. Especially since I am not in the right state of mind to deal with your bullshit, you know?” She smiled, making sure that the filly saw all of her teeth. “Starlight!” Fluttershy exclaimed. “Don’t hurt her!” “Yeah, don’t,” Scootaloo 021 muttered. “I ate so much that if you levitate me one more time, I’m gonna puke!” “Oh, don’t worry,” Starlight replied in the sweetest tone she could muster. “Tell us where Pinkie Pie is and we’ll let you eat as much as you want until you have a heart attack. Are we clear?” Scootaloo 021 nodded. “No. I mean, yes, we’re clear, but no, I don’t know where’s Pinkie Pie. What does she even look like?” “Pink, bouncy, curly?” Starlight shrugged. “Ah, her.” Scootaloo 021 replied. “She jumped at us with a cannon, shot Seventy-Four with confetti, and ran away. Somewhere there.” She pointed at the main street. “Okay.” Starlight unceremoniously dropped Scootaloo 021 behind the counter. “Go to sleep.” They walked outside. The street was strangely empty, although the presence of Fluttershy riding a bear may have had something to do with that. Moreover, the only other creature they found was, as it turned out after a closer examination, a nirik. Who, having chased away all the clones around, collapsed and turned into a kirin. “Are you okay?” Rarity asked and leaned over the kirin. “What’s your name? How many hooves can you see?” “Spring Breeze,” the kirin muttered. “I see, uhh…” She squinted. “Five hooves. My changeling roommates are total assholes. They changed into Scootaloos and ran off. I’d worry about the rent, but screw this, I’m not coming back there.” She took a few deep breaths. “I am an oasis of peace and tranquility…” “Well, you’re certainly trying,” Starlight muttered. Spring Breeze sighed. “At first I went to school to hide, but it got weird in there. I’m probably the first kirin who got mad at a gelatinous cube.” “I have no idea how it got there,” Starlight said with a sheepish grin. “I lost a staring contest with it.” Spring Breeze shrugged. “Kinda hard to win since it has twenty-four eyes in weird places.” Starlight smiled sheepishly. “Let’s not talk about it. We need to go and find– PINKIE PIE!” “Starlight!” Pinkie exclaimed, ramming into Starlight and knocking her down. “Rainbow Dash!” “What about her?” Fluttershy asked. “She… didn’t make it,” Pinkie replied, her mane deflating slightly. Starlight’s eyes widened. Even Applejack woke up and looked around, wondering why she was lying on a bear’s back. “How so?” Rarity asked. Pinkie shrugged. “Well, when two dozen Scootaloos burst into your house and call you their god, you don’t stand much of a chance. Especially when they threaten you with a net if you hesitate.” “What in tarnation?” Applejack exclaimed. “Ah gotta find her and beat that god complex outta her head!” Suddenly, the ground started to shake. Spring Breeze was the first to raise her head and see a huge cloud of dust in the distance. “What the hell?” Starlight shouted. “Oh, I forgot.” Pinkie smiled sheepishly. “There were around two thousand clones chasing me. More exactly, nineteen hundred and eighty-four. I guess if Harry and this kirin girl attacked them first, we’d last for about a minute before they’d trample us and–” Starlight’s sanity finally snapped. “SHUT UP, PINKIE, AND RUN!”