No, Really
Scootaloo was having a fine Saturday morning. Currently, she was in the middle of practicing on her scooter, getting sweet air like nopony's business. The small skate park Scootaloo occupied was on the edge of town, and there weren't any other foals around. She was fine with that: it meant fewer distractions, as well as fewer opportunities for a painful collision.
She dove once more down the concrete ramp, building up speed. Once she cleared the top, she spun, keeping hold of the handlebars while kicking the board around in a circle. Her landing was, for once, flawless, and Scootaloo whooped with joy as she zoomed down the ramp once more. This was the life, she thought, nothing but the wind in her mane and the four wheels at her hooves. At least, until she heard the sound of hooves crunching on dry grass.
When she skidded to a stop and turned to look at the large shadow which had crept up in her peripheral vision, her eyes immediately widened in shock at the newcomer. Rather than the smiling face of a curious passerby, Scootaloo was now face-to-face with the cruel sneer of the terrible Queen Chrysalis. She recognized the invading tyrant from the papers. Before she had a chance to scream, a green aura clamped her mouth shut and rooted her in place, her scooter skidding out from underneath her flailing hooves.
"Ah, yes, this one will do nicely," Chrysalis said after much scrutinizing. "Surely that Starlight Glimmer will not suspect that this feeble example of her species is actually out for her hide. That this filly was not her usual self, rather: it was me, Chrysalis!" She then paused from her musing to laugh gleefully at her own brilliance. "Moreover, it should be easy recharging my love reserves through pity."
Continuing to cackle madly, Chrysalis stepped closer to Scootaloo, the filly shaking with fear as Chrysalis' razor-sharp horn neared. Her slitted eyes narrowed as she switched the spell she was casting to her trademark mind control spell, which worked on even the most stalwart of ponies, guaranteed or your money backTM.
But as the spell penetrated into Scootaloo's mind, her body responded with a reflex long since dormant. One that she had been conditioned to exhibit in years long past as her last line of defense against any and all manner of mortal peril. She flapped her wings, lifted her head, and cried out.
"BaCAAAW!"
Chrysalis stared in confusion at the odd display. When her spell finished its job without further ceremony, leaving Scootaloo as a stationary husk, she shrugged. "That was weird. Oh well, time to go throw this pony in a ditch somewhere a ways off. I've got sweet vengeance to wreak!"
She only got three steps before everything went to Tartarus.
Suddenly, out of nowhere, a mass of angry chickens appeared. They surrounded Chrysalis at once, pecking, clawing and diving at her chitin from all directions without mercy as their high pitched calls assaulted her ears.
Chrysalis screamed in pain and surprise. First, she tried galloping away from the feathery horde, but when that didn't work, she began flinging them off of herself one by one with her hooves and magic. However, that effort proved fruitless as well. She didn't even have enough wingroom to fly off; each of her desperate flaps was intercepted by a clucking menace.
"Confound these wretched fowl!" she exclaimed. "For every one I fling away, a dozen more vex me!"
This was indeed a true statement. No matter how many she blasted away, Chrysalis was constantly surrounded by the sea of beaks and talons. Soon, cracks began to appear all across her body from the unending onslaught of raging poultry. Her energy, too, was ebbing fast.
Chrysalis tilted her head to the heavens as best she could, given that she was covered in writhing chickens. "Is this how it all ends?" she asked. "The mighty Queen Chrysalis, having escaped the fall of her kingdom only to be felled by the most pathetic of farm animals?"
Fate had no reply, except to send even more chickens. They were plucking at her face now.
Her long life flashed before her eyes, with all its successes and failings. She never suspected it would end this way, after all the centuries she had endured. With her last breath, she cursed the orange cripple who had brought her low. Chrysalis' only regret was that she hadn't become the supreme ruler of the planet.
* * *
When Scootaloo awoke, it was with a terrible headache. She rubbed her forehead and winced. "Oww... What happened? Did I crash into Derpy again?"
The voice who replied was not the one she had expected. "No, Scootaloo, you ran into Queen Chrysalis," said Twilight Sparkle.
Scootaloo opened her eyes in surprise. She was surrounded by wide-eyed townsponies, and half of them were staring at her. The other half were staring the limp corpse of Queen Chrysalis.
Scootaloo's jaw dropped. "What happened to her?"
"I was going to ask you that," replied Twilight. "We heard somepony screaming, so we rushed over, only to find her deceased and you unconscious."
Suddenly, all was revealed. "Ok, yeah, I think I know what happened," Scootaloo said. "I must have been in danger and called my family."
Twilight blinked. "Your family? But, they just got here." She then gestured to the pair of pegasi in question, who were busy gawking at Chrysalis.
"No, like, from before I was adopted," she clarified.
Twilight blinked again.
"Did I never tell you I was raised by mutant Everfree chickens?" Scootaloo asked.
"Uh, I think I would have remembered that," she said. "Also, what?"
Scootaloo nodded. "It's true. I guess it just didn't come up in conversation."
It took a minute for that to sink in. "You know what, sure. Just... come help me track them down? I feel like I should award those chickens for their bravery."
She grinned at that. "Oh, that's easy, gimme a sec." Scootaloo then inhaled deeply and...
"BaCAAAW!"
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Wow
they should be the replacement when the mane 6 can't stop whatever is going on!
Shadow: Chrysalis is DED. Not pig soup-rice.
Chickens.... the most dangerous creatures there are
The is a legend of Zelda joke!!!!!
3.bp.blogspot.com/-9h2vJiEeqyU/UspBld3rH6I/AAAAAAAAAuE/YlxQnumQauk/s1600/link+to+the+past+chickens.jpg
I hope the Cuccos have more than one summoning call...
In any case, a delightful bit of insanity. Thank you for it.
I would take this moment to point out that Scootaloo was a flower girl at the wedding. So she had a front row seat to the invastion of Canterlot.
That said, cute story. While I personally am too sick of whole Scootaloo chicken jokes to find this funny, I can see why others would. So good job, even if it’s not my cup of tea.
Scoots is one of the CMC, even with out the chickens it would end badly for Chrissy!
From one crackfic writer to another, I love this.
derpicdn.net/img/2013/11/5/465132/full.jpg
Scootaloo, what's the matter with you? You don't act like the other chickens do. Telling your lies in a filly disguise, but you're not a mare, you're a Scootaloo.
I love this.
I should have just stopped reading after that. I despise that stupid chicken gag.
Made me think of the chicken from the legend of Zelda.
8383506
Not to mention was fillynapped alongside her friends in the first comic arc so she would definitely know who she was.
8383924
I think that was the intent. Only Cucco's are known to cause such a death with an invincible army of chickens.
8383892
So do I and many others as well. But it was kinda funny at least.
This was great, simply great.
8383949
Honestly, I was too frustrated to find this funny. But I'm glad others enjoyed it.
"BaCAAAW!"
And Twilight's eyes ended up getting pecked out before Scootaloo could call them off.
8383844
Am I the only one that got that?
derpicdn.net/img/2013/5/21/330564/thumb.png
8384084
I know what you mean it's a really over used and bad joke.
Fus ro baCAW?
Is Scootaloo the great Poultryborn of legend?
8384109
s2.quickmeme.com/img/38/38a1565b86c5f4dee52ce3f28dfe6125639639f0b067d483a7e0f3fc8b2c3b84.jpg
Scootaloo, the cuckoo master... Too bad there was not any Super Saiyan Cuckoo around
I enjoyed this far more than I should. THe chicken swarm is my favorite Zelda feature.
Downvoted for the over-used retarded chicken joke.
bs chicken jokes aside this is funny, and can you do one where Rarity summons a legion of marshmallows?
FINALLY! Someone actually made this gag funny!
So... Zelda Cuckoos then?
"Dayum Scoots, we coulda used that Diamond Tiara was pickin' on us!" said Apple Bloom.
Truly the most devastating of all summoning techniques.
8384109
You genius! You absolute GOD of a person!
BaCAAW
This was a treat
Twilight ...... Run.
Good.
This was delightfully stupid. Thank you
Looks like I'm the only one who caught this. The LoZ reference was obvious, but this here is from when Squirrel Girl beat Doctor Doom with... a swarm of squirrels.
8383411
No one ever expects the inquichickens! Haha......I'll be quiet now.
8385014
Yep, nobody expects that.
Hey, when was Scootaloo a chicken from Legend of Zelda
8384324
Downvoted you for over retarded stick in the ass