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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Whoa, dude. Creepy.
Also, I don;t know if this was intentional, but you really nailed the prey reactions. Like ponies being skittish and that feeling of flighty panic. For a story that has reached, and passed, its stated endstate—Star marrying Luna—this seems to just be picking up more and more steam.
Great job, brother. Still an amazing tale.
Shit, nice going with the horror aspect of it. You really nailed down that jittery feeling well. And the Red Empress almost reminds me of thew Crimson King.
upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/e/ef/Crimson_King_Dark_Tower.jpg/250px-Crimson_King_Dark_Tower.jpg
Another spectacular chapter to this story.
Predictions time!
First off, good odds the final obstacle in this story will be the Red Empress, one does not fade into myth "mysteriously" without having some sort of safeguard or such for a return; and if not the Red Empress, most likely a relative of her who's been hiding somewhere in plain sight for awhile. Of course her/ her relative/ her impostor starting a war is most likely going to be the rest of this story, since I remember you saying that the story was something like halfway done after Star and Luna hooked up? Maybe you just said we weren't into the meat yet, but regardless I doubt it'll be a short war.
Also, since Luna's biggest fear seems to be her lover dying to protect her, 20 imaginary bits goes to Star dying at the very end of the story to save Luna, probably with the RE's last desperate attack since villains seem so fond on using that cliche to tack on drama. After all, Luna has to outlive Star somehow or another, since she can't just make an alicorn...probably at least, otherwise she would've done it with one of her other loves, right? So right there, nice way to wrap up a story that has to end no matter how you slice it with sadness, that may or may not be entirely wrong and based on conjecture.
That chapter count terrifies me, but the mature sex romance comedy is so alluring...
3176886
This.
Holy. Fuck.
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It's been a good story, you won't regret it I say. Just take your time and enjoy it. : )
My heart was racing near the end.
Woah... that freaked me out, really freaked me out... I didn't think it would but it did... You've still got it and I'm still loving the story, but if you'll excuse me I must curl up into a ball and cry until the scary things go away.
images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20110401013824/amnesia/images/4/43/Gatherer.jpg
RUN...
amazing chapter even if it took awhile
huge cliffhanger as well but amazing nonetheless
cant wait to read the next one so keep up with the awesome writing
I have to admit that even I was on edge when they were in the tunnels being followed by whatever that thing was. And that laugh at the end topped the cake since I could almost feel the breath myself.
The end reminded me of the first time I played Slenderman.
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And guess what? We're not done with the forgotten underground either.
I've got to say. I was more creeped out by the ghosts of the former ponies than the thing following them. Just like in the Metro games. Those damn shadows creep the hell out of me.
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Don't worry, we're not done down there
Damn, that's a lot of Chapters..... Going on my Read it Later for now, but I'll get to it, eventually.
3177445 There may be a lot of chapters, but I didn't make them overly long. Just read one here and there and before long you'll catch up.
3177635 I will. It looks promising, and form what I can tell, you've got a knack for writing.
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Lot of people say that. But there's a few readers who can't wrap their heads around this idea of Equestrian society I've developed. Herd-evolution and all that. It's not for everyone, but hey, you might really enjoy it.
Darn tunnels. Whenever I read something like that I can't help but remember the alien series. I have never seen dark narrow tunnels the same way since.
Hunters to hunted...I like it.
Damn dude this one was well worth the wait. Conspiracy always proves to be entertaining, and fucking hell the tunnel scenes.......
You wrote that shit so well it even had me feeling freaked out.
the voiced inside went silent
*voices?
Well, that was freaky
I'm going to kill ,y self because I'm not worthy to read this for it is to AWSOME
I got to the part with the ghostly pony images and almost threw my iPad at the wall. I hate ghosts. I hate them so much then I finished the chapter and I still hate ghosts. All this ghost stuff isn't helping my phobia of ghosts.....
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I'm so glad that I had my light on when I read that at 3 in the morning... *shivers*
Finally! Creepy good and entertaining. Nice.
Holy tits you are talented, this truly the first story that has actually scared me. I mean, Cupcakes didn't even phase me, but this? I'm still shaking.
Kudos to you.
Slenderpony anyone?
Ooh, certainly a change of pace from the story thus far. Didn't help that I read it at 2 in the morning with the vents in the basement creaking... Approved!!
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You know, I always wanted to do my own version of Rainbow Factory. The original story was actually based on the song, and after hearing the song, I envisioned a place that drains color through psychological terror and fears. RF and Cupcakes are just 'meh' and very shock-gore at best. True tension comes from the anticipation and mental fears. This is why I hate most modern 'horror'. They all use shock-gore and don't put fear into the viewers through things that bump in the night.
That said, glad this chapter has grabbed so many of you. We're not done in the depths.
Very nice chapter.
Is it to early to ask for the next chapter?
Hell yea this the best birthday present EVER!!!!!!!!!!!
Legit.
Okay, I need a minute.
Damn that went to creepy town fast. Was not at all prepared for that, which I think made it all the more intense.
Woo... good job, gave me a chill, looking forward to the next one.
I DUB THEE ALFRED HITCHCOCK.
That was INTENSE.
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I'm excited and worried about it at the same
cant wait to see what you make of it
Horror genre, take note. THIS, right here, is how you do it without resorting to overusing gore, again.
Damn Indigo, that was creepy chapter. Excellent job!
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Fear of the unknown and fear of things you can't fight are powerful indeed. Death is a mainstay of Horror, but it's how you present it that ratchets up the tension in the audience. While my story is not a horror story, I like to use all the tools available to present a story to draw the readers into the character's shoes. (horseshoes I should say) I didn't toss this 'horror' section in just for the hell of it, it has a purpose, like most everything in my story. In fact, some of you may remember the blog I wrote about the two little fillies...
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Yep, i know it's all for the story here, but far too often do horror movies, games, and books just go the 'gory, bloody death' route, straight up bypassing the psychological horror of an unknown terror or whatever might stalk in the shadows. Even if it's not going to kill you, that doesn't mean it doesn't want to get you in some other way.
Edit - I hate the straight up gory, bloody death horror, but enjoy this kind of horror, oddly enough. To draw a comparison, it must be like enjoying ketchup, but not tomatoes or something like that.
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Believe me, I understand. I love the first Alien film for the tension it presented. Part 3 and on were almost laughable. Modern 'horror' is so invested in gore and 'jump scares' I don't bother with them anymore. Old school loves using the fear of things that creep just beyond sight or things intangible. Original Nightmare on Elm Street, Poltergeist, It, and so on. Oh how I miss the glory days of film.
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Yep. Now i'm in the mood for a good movie. Might go see if i can find one of them old VHS tapes lying around.
I love it. Your an amazing writer that definatly knows what your doing. Thanks oh and by the wayni know my spellingnand grammer sucks, thats why i read and not write. Thank you
3176963 Dude I was thinking the same thing, I wonder if a certain tower and a certain pair of red eyes are watching this play out
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No tower, no red eyes.
There are a lovely pair of cyan eyes watching everything you do. EVERYTHING.
Wow, that ending.
I was beginging to get very worried, scared even towards the end there.
Brilliant job on this chapter, one of the best so far in my opinion.
I wish you luck in all your future endevors.
Love: Harvey Birdman
I also have a feeling that Luna just pulled the most brutal prank in her lifetime,
Four days ago I began reading this story.
Three days ago I added it to my favorites, finding it very enjoyable.
Two days ago I found myself ignoring other stories as things escalated.
One day ago I was giddy with joy at the building romance and steep obstacles that had been overcome.
Today, I'm finally caught up, and this has been one of if not the most entertaining tale I have crossed upon on this site.
Thank you for your gift of literature, I only hope i won't be too devastated when it concludes.
--- One Psychopathic Maniacal Fox