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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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During the last half or so, the italics got stuck on. Just letting you know.
3911193
Eh? Crap, let me check.
Found and fixed. Was a missing just one '/' I hate Fim-Fic's italics system.
hay there's a problem with the font half way though other then that its a good chapter
Looking forward to more.
Keep up the good work. Deus tecum.
LET NIGHTMARE TORTURE THE HIPPOGRIFF! Seems to be the easiest way. It would make a good last resort. Sorry, but I just had to put that out there, I can't wait for the next chapter mate, keep it up! XD
Yer Italics are on...for the third half of the story :D
Is where it starts.
Oh I believe I know why Light saw only darkness... It has something to do with the immortal soul that shares Star's body...
I've noticed one of the paragraphs lacks a break and an indent.
WAIT A FUCKING MINUTE.
Tragedy?
Since when?
3911369
Since the stupid tagging system wont let me have Sad and Comedy at the same time. My only choice was Tragedy and Comedy
3911243
3911347
Fixed it an hour ago. Refresh yer page.
3911400
You scared me for a minute there. Was this recently added, or did I just completely forget about that? I haven't been following updates too closely, so saw the tag and was like 'wtf, when was that there?'
Got a few updates to catch up on though, so time to see what you've done these past few weeks. I'll admit I can safely say that some readers might be feeling a tad spoiled at how frequently you've been updating lately.
as a much as writer like to hear this i will be unfavoring this story because this story need a 2-4 more chapters before i like to come back in to it.. tho a good story..it just this story i can't read chapter to chapter i need a few chapters to get in to this story again tho i will be keeping an eye on the feature box for this story
Another great chapter , keep up the good work i'm always seeing forward to the next chapter
3911421
Eh, you could always leave it favorite and just watch for multiple chapters to build up first. *shrug*
There's a few oddly-placed breaks, one missing. I don't want to spam up this comment with unnecessary quotations, but there are 2 extra-large breaks I noticed, and one missing.
I had thought Scootaloo would have reacted much worse at the slight revelation about her relationship with Featherweight, or that Star would have been a bit more honest about things...
Luna is much less of a whip nowadays~
3911506
(Found the missing break)
Scoots sorta knew what was going on, but it's easier for her to see what she wants to see.
And yeah, Luna is not as demanding as she used to be. Blame Star. She's also tired. It's been stressful for her these last few days.
3911431 true but if i see the updated chapter i WILL read it lol but if you up date every week it be a couple weeks before its get better, plus i want wait till you write that ambush you are foretelling in this story to get a way from bad cliffhangers.. i hate bad cliffhangers but don't stop writhing because of me
Yeah Scoots may come back to Star and Luna, really hoping that it doesn't end sadly again Scoots gets enough shit
3911592
Whatever happens, at least Star finally understands how he was treating Scoots when they were kids. If it doesn't work out this time, it's because they both decided together and not because of ridiculous doubts and fears.
3911418
Yes, the newer readers are probably feeling spoiled with all these recent and large chapters.
The tags were updated a couple weeks ago. I was trying to add Adventure tag, but it wouldn't let me keep Sad and Comedy. So...well... did the best I could with what it would let me.
3910970
Glad you're enjoying the tale.
Any favorite characters?
...I'm wondering if you have a few reserve chapters your publishing now because your ahead, the editor is helping the process superbly, or if you've just been writing a ton.
Nightmare is definitely a double edged coin. She can read people like a book, know how to influence them but she can't see herself under the facade of deceit. Truly, disheartening, but it definitely makes her a much more sympathetic character.
"May the night, last, FOREVER!" Hmmm, I think that Star and Light got good deals. Light, the tactician, can see possible deaths and prevent them. Star, a prince, can use Nightmare's insight in politics.
Light is obviously lying about Stars death. "You've changed Star" methinks more than just recent chapter character development. Maybe he isn't lying, but I don't see why he would mention it otherwise.
I wish for Star to get a special armor too... one that shows his unison with Luna.
Also to know when and how someone dies is a very grim power. They might change the three days to only mere hours. I think Luna will find out herself that Nightmare is in Star, she is so good at reading him, that she can't miss that something is nagging at him.
I'd like to see Alexander in a fight scene, I think he's pretty capable with all the respect and obvious fear he gets from the rest.
3911657
Not ahead, actually, if it wasn't for my editor, y'all would have gotten these chapters 3-5 days earlier on each one since like 47 or 48.
I've just been writing, a lot.
Which stresses me the buck out when I publish and start getting hit with down-votes for no commented reason.
I can't tell you how many hours of writing and editing and re-editing I've done in the last 6-7 chapters.
Anyhoof, yeah, Nightmare has a lot to learn, and since she's not in the body of a bitter, jealous mare this time, perhaps she has a real chance of letting go of her hate.
Lighthoof wasn't lying, he just doesn't understand what he's seeing. Not all visions are clear, and it really worries him.
3911657
Also he said Star instead of Dude. Suggesting it to be much more personal. I think you're on to something.
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Dawn's visions are grim, but incredibly powerful and yet dangerous to everypony. To see through the tapestry of life and follow a thread to its end. If you change the weave of that thread, you can change their end-point, but what other threads do you shift? Think of how useful a pony like her would be to the rich and powerful.
The knowledge that you're not locked into one predestined fate is powerful knowledge indeed.
And yeah, Alexander is a tough old bird. Remember that the griffons place a LOT of stock in legends and stories. It's a warrior culture. Perhaps his tales have been blown out of proportion, but even then, there are always grains of truth to them.
3911761
Yeah, but you don't just take a hundred year break from that stuff without an eager and ambitious griffin questioning your authority. So I think he definitely has skill.
Also they might end up killing the ponies earlier if they change their fate... I mean, they could tell them to go another way and accidentally walk into the ambush party, thus losing even more ponies.
That moment when you realize the fic has a tragedy tag.
3911786
Meh, it wont let me have the sad tag. Not sure if there's anything I can do to force change the tag.
3911821 So it isn't tragedy?
3911842
I dunno, there have been tragic moments.
Loving this and it makes me glad to see a scene with Scootaloo again
I was starting to see a small fall to corruption in star just then "yes hurt her" before he threw her in the river. "You were just gone" I worked out to maybe be that star succumbs to a darkness within and becomes nightmare. Kinda wonder if Luna can see or sense these dreams.
God I always love when I see an update for this story :)
3911920
You must be head-over-hooves in love then. So many updates in so short a time.
3911917
I wouldn't look at it as corruption. NM was pushing at Star to hurt Scoots, remember that NM still has a chip on her shoulder when it comes to the rest of pony-kind. But Star instead defused the growing tension and snapped Scoots out of her defensive mode by dunking her in the pond.
Despite being with Star, she still has old hatreds she hasn't let go of. Yet, doesn't see seem more calm than she was? And, in her own way, she did help Star with some insight into what was really bothering Scoots. Something to consider.
3911842
I looked up FIM:Fic's definition of Tragic tag.
"A Tragedy has, by definition, a sad ending, but it doesn't mean the story is sad until that point; unlike a Sad story, it always, always will have a sad or bittersweet ending."
"Bittersweet" is the key word here. Most of this story is about consequences and learning from them. The end will have happiness, but there is a bittersweet element to it as well. So, I suppose the Tragic tag is valid despite leaning towards a happier ending.
Nightmare's dialog is kinda difficult to follow with how its inserted into the story.
Might I suggest making it a different color to put emphasis on it in a way as to not mistake it with another's dialog.
3911741 Actually he says dude. You've changed dude. And I think the reason he said it is because Star asked Light to tell him what he saw. And he said he's rather know and face it. But early on in the first few chapters star more then likely would not have wanted to know. You have to remember that star was not nearly the stallion he has become. I personally think that the line didn't have to do with his death but just his personality in general. I'm not saying i'm right, but it's another point to think about
3912062
Maybe, I just don't think Light would have mentioned it like that if that was the case. Anyway I'm just happy that Star and Scoot are getting some closure. Their relationship has kinda been one of the elements that have stayed since the beginning.
3912058
Mmm... might do that. However, don't you think that'd give away who is speaking too early? Especially since I'd probably use blue or purple text. And if it's ever printed out, the color wont print out.
3912108
Not really. Some may figure out who it is, but I don't think it'll be too big of a givaway.
As for printing it out, just save it into your home saved copy. That's how I save changes like that to my favorate stories.
Nice chapter. It was fun to see Dawn make an appearance.
I also like the backstory you've been giving us glimpses. I'm looking forward to seeing how things play out.
Also wanted to say thanks for the rather lengthy and often updates. It's not easy writing that much and post it as often as you have been doing for the last month.
Seems like NMM and Dawn both look very similar and can mainly be differentiated threw their hair colour.
This is where the awkward double-break separation is: (not visible in quote, but you'll see)
You can see why it made it extremely confusing if you expected a pause there.
Is it wrong that I'm really loving Nightmare and Star's exchanges?
Lots of good stuff this chapter, duder. Great to both get some closure and a hint at possible reconciliation between Scoots and Luna/Star. Part of me wants them to get back together, but I can't help but sympathize with Scoots: how the hell does one compete with a goddess? I also find myself a bit annoyed by Featherweight. The whole "free-spirit, maaaaaaan" thing just sticks in my craw, if I get a bit ethnic for a moment. Like, I know the ponies have a different view of relationships and sex, but good god, dude.
Also enjoyed the little insight into Light's new boundaries. I really hope we can see more Knights before the story ends. Him being plagued by visions is very nifty, as well.
3911400
Did you try to communicate with moderator? WD says it allowed when story worth both tags.
3912448
I knew a guy like Featherweight when I was in college. He was very much like that. He dated a lot of girls, bounced from place to place, just kinda did his own thing. He really was the idea of this 'free-spirit'. Problem is, he couldn't stick to anything other than his hobbies. No commitment to anyone or anything but himself.
Great story! Keep up the writing