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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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872885
Hah. Fair enough. But keep in mind how more relaxed Equestria is about same-sex couples. Thankfully he was in Upper Canterlot where the nobility tends to gossip a little then forget a week later when some new bit of juicy talk shows up. Besides, if it gets too out of hoof, I'm sure Luna or Celestia will stomp it out.
872948
Heh, imagine what you will. I just wanted him to have an outlandish accent to give a sense of him belonging to another culture. But yeah, TF2 is awesome. "That Griffin's a spy!"
stupid starstep of course he had to fail once again.
873066
In his defense. He's only about 18-20 by human standards. And WAY out of his league. I promise you things do get better for him, one way or another. He just insists on learning the hard way.
873034
Well, I like to use that 'New chapter' button at the top and...what, why are you looking at me like that?
In all honestly, 4k word chapters aren't so bad to write. They're large enough to have relevance and small enough that it allows the reader time to breathe before the next span of events. Plus Proof-reading and editing a 4k sized chapter is far easier a few times than 8k+ chapters some writers wrangle. I have some key plot-points in my head, and the rest just flows as I type.
Sticks and stones mate, sticks and stones.
Holy crap, man, I just realized that I just read the first 13 chapters of this story all in one sitting. Damn it, I can't stop.
Here I am, up to Chapter 13 at last and, oh dear dear dear, Starstep. You do NOT interfere with a Princess' dealings with lowlives, You've let your emotions overcome you again.
Had it been me in your place, I would have simply smiled and waited to see if the Nightmare would make an appearance, and if the arrogant griffin would soil himself.
Interesting chapter, Star going to Celestia for some advice/encouragement was a nice character moment.
Griffin culture looks interesting an aggressive meritocracy makes a nice counterpoint to Equestria’s ruling nobility and focus on harmony.
Poor Star blowing his chances with Lunar at the end although his actions are completely understandable, I don’t think anyone would stand idly by while the person they loved was being spoken to in such a manner.
that could of gone better
The end of this chapter is both the best and the worst part of the story so far. It will be very interesting to see how all these issues will be solved.
He just can't win can he?
So much failure, I am starting to doubt if he will ever get to Luna's heart. Or her bed, whatever happens first. Ah well, Author will not dissapoint.
1654210 I am trying to see him gaining her back after this but I got nothing really he is probably gonna pull something amazing out of his butt in the next chapter
bore many scares across their faces
Should be scars
WTF IS HAPPENED?
Whoa...dude...this was...this was friggen powerful, man...
This story is amazing. It's got character development, humor, emotional scenes, well done clip for a change, and now heart wrenching moments like this chapter's. I do two things when "failure" moments like this come up - first, I read through as fast as possible so I don't get too depressed. Next, I put myself in the protagonist's shoes and decide how I would have acted differently. When Luna scolds Star I'n the next chapter, and if it's even reminiscent of the writing quality you've displayed thus far, I know I'm going to get a terrible feeling I'n my gut like I'm the one being scolded. And any story that can make me do that and feel that way deserves the utmost praise.
Good job, author. I'm giving you a like, a favorite, and a watch. You deserve and have earned it.
hi
I have never read a story that had me physically leaning back in my seat and biting a finger in reaction to the happenings. You have a way with words that is rarely seen. Well done!
that was something to say the least
im having mixed feelings about the directions this story is taking
Well, I knew there would have to be some serious conflict sooner or later... but damn, this is going to be harsh.
so close...
He really should have remembered the lesson he learned from the Nightmare Moon prank...
Sleights ....yes, I think that's the correct spelling of it ^^ It's ok, it's a very underused word so it's no big deal that you messed that one up <3
....
....
.... I'm actually starting to get bored....bored of the back and forth of Star not learning his lesson...also, I expected this kind of behavior from Light....or something. He's the more outgoing 'macho male' archetype.
....Oh, congrats, you've now fully emulated the show. "Characters learning lessons in one episode, only to seemingly forget them entirely" ....which is a quote from one of the reviewers like Digibrony, because, lets face it, Fluttershy has learned basically the same lessons 6 times in a row across these 3 seasons. And now, Star needs to learn to not let his rage blind him....again.....Instead of hitting him, this colt (his personalty, his CHARACTER) would of started to at least talk back or such, instead of flying in blindly...though I admit, you did kind of set the 'harassment' bar quite high, with that verbal abuse. Which...honestly, was unexpected, strange, and did not fit the setting of the guests....it was...to use the term 'out of left field'.
Whatever, that's just my take on this chapter. It would of been perfect, I do mean PERFECT, if not for that one last part....an argument? Sure. Embarrassing the Princess? Check and double check. Flying at an insult thrower, and knocking an AMBASSADOR (even though he was low rank ---Brown is a very dark color, thus, he must be extremely low station--) clear out cold and unconscious....I mean.....did he even train to be a guard? Ask any soldier.....romantic feelings be damned X.x Ah, well, I can't say any more about the scene...ONWARD, to the next chapter ...and hopefully a salvage for this Trainwreck of a (expected) plot-twist.
At the end I was like "No no no no no no!"
That Griffon got off very very lightly.
I've never worn something so...rump hugging before. Tis quite a new sensation.”
Started: poker face poker face pokerface
4221188
Perhaps, but later on you'll see the culture I've created for the Griffons. Winning with intimidation and words brings you a lot of honor. Taunting someone until they fight back brings them dishonor. It's all about face/honor and not needing to use force to get your way. So essentially, that little griffon was trying to dishonor Luna and raise himself up.
I say this to Starstep:
i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/6488779008/h0B247E10/
Still cannot read without flinching.
4553836 I just don't read it.
I have to say, Starstep acted with honor. He defended Luna's honor, just as a blade bearer is supposed too. For that matter just as a knight and/or a suitor should too
You can weaponize writing like this, it hurts because its so good
Dang, knew he was going to do this, but was hoping he didn't
I am wondering if this was planed and I am not talking about Starstep messing up that is planed I am wondering about the chapter #XIII
To be honest, while he may have made the incorrect choice in his actions, ANY US Marine, Royal Marine, ect., would have done the exact same thing, if not worse.
As a Marine, myself, I can attest to just how important honor is, and to me, that would have been just like spitting on Nancy Reagan. (Or the Queen, if you're British)
Given what little we know of griffon politics, it sounded like Star Step acted according to etiquette. A challenge was issued to the one he was charged to protect and he responded in kind.