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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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(Joke) Alt. Title: To Love The Moon Is To Have An OC
1810147
I'm afraid I don't get it.
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Formula: To [blank] is to [blank]. Aside from that, this is a LunaxOC fanfiction.
Commence read.
Hm. Light seems to know what is up. How will that progress? And how will this meeting progress?
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I'm not really sure what you're saying. Do you have an issue with LunaxOC? It's quite possible the joke totally went over my head. I'm just attempting to understand what you mean.
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I don't have a problem with LunaxOC, people can write whatever they want. I just like to do (Joke) Alt. Titles.
Teasing, teasing teasing! Your story is one giant tease!
1810225
Smiles innocently. "Whatever do you mean?"
Luna is on fire tonight
1810263 Nothing. Read "Magic in the stars" on fanfiction. It's a great ocxLuna.
Doooda do at doo oh...OH MY GOD HE UPLOADED A NEW CHAPTER
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Haha, indeed. Now, to find out what you ponies think of it. 6.4k words on this chapter.
YES!
I've been wanting another chapter of this for ages. Can't get enough of this story.
okay.
You exceeded my expectations.
the dinner scene, Funny, awkward and heart-warming.
the pub and aftermath. great character and relationship development and annoyingly erotic, glad im alone
meeting up with light. surprisingly dramatic.
and awesome secret control centre added to the mix.
You, my good sir 'wing bow' Is a god in the written arts
I have a small request though. could you please tell me which city you live in?
Different time zones bucks up my ideas of tomorrow and such
1810678
For the first part of the story, this is true. Sadly, the later mature chapters become much harder to untangle the clop with the romantic character building. I'm still struggling to determine where to place separation markers within those chapters. Part of the point of this story was to show that 'clop' can be an important element in character building and development of a romantic relationship.
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Atlanta, GA. So EST.
1810707
Capital of the south?
awesome
thanks. it's nice to know what people mean with at 7am and such when it's on the other side of the world
I know it's selfish, but would you like to read my first chapter and give your thoughts?
it would be like having spielberg watch your own movie
I'm so glad you posted this. I needed a good fic to cheer me up. I just wish I'd had space to throw this on my favourites lists... but I couldn't make another window for ship-fics
Hmmm, yes, well I have no comment for you now Indigo. Thoughts are still in development. I think I'll wait for the rest of this little business going on here to go a little further before I give another analysis. Cheers to the new chapter though.
Oh Luna you massive tease. She's lucky Starstep puts up with her .
An interesting new chapter, nice fleshing out of the new setting, a cute and titillating night with Luna, and just that first taste of intrigue before we get our meal of plot.
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Awww *sadface* All this work and nopony is really 'talking' about the elements in it. No preditions, no questions, so specific examples of what they enjoyed. Bah.
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Eeyup
as for 'Meal of plot' yeeeeah, we're gonna have a bit of that soon. *shifty-eyes*
This is relevant to my interests.
1810793
You know this story destroys the use of the word plot?
sorry this story has rendered me a 12 year old boy.
still your right
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the meal was the best part, your depiction of lunas idea of good public view is very much how i thought she would make it.
a celebrity shocker
I said it before and i'll say it again.
You have made the best and in my mind, most complex depiction of Luna. Her and Stars interactions are the meat of the story.
Everything else is amazingly tasty garnish
im from norway and i love this story :) hoping for many more chapters
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Norge, interessant
Indigo, another nice chapter, the restaurant scene was well played, I liked the subtle power play that Luna was basically flaunting in front of the Gryphons, or at least that is how I interpretted it. More power to her in their eyes, that sort of thing.
I have a feeling this issue with Light, Star, Luna and Celestia is going to continue for awhile, and Light mentioning Scoots was a low blow. And since you brought her up, I am now wondering when we are going to be seeing her again, and if she has indeed truly given up on Star now that she has had a taste of just how deep his love for Luna (and only Luna) goes.
Another most excellent chapter, and looking forward to the next one!
>>>“Meat of a young calf.” Luna answered while she browsed her own menu. >>>
But... but... cows can talk in Equestria...
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Well, that's part of the discomfort on Star's end. He thinks the same thing. There will be a quick little explanation in the next chapter.
*And so, Light helps the Princess find a new lover... Alondro!*
*Luna approaches Alondro* Thou doeth knowest mine sister ist buteth usingeth you-eth..
*Alondro nods!* Yep! But I could care less! I'm nailing the 'hot' Princess of the Sun every night! And it's AMAZING!!!
*Luna facehooves* I shouldst hath knowesteth it. Why bothereth with loveth whence an common pervert will doeth the trick.
*Alondro nods proudly* And I'm the most perverted of all!
*Luna growls in frustration * Damn! He's taken a defiant attitude!
hmm....must consult the elder brony council....**beware of inconsistant rambling**
tis a good read, ill spare you my standard "needs more and faster" rant *hint hint*
i feel this chapter was lacking the almighty detialed spark your story usually has
despite the overall word count
the scene with dusty should have been a little more drawn out despite the fact its a foreshadowing moment followed by luna making much mischief at starsteps expense
moreso id like to point out the suddenness of starsteps mini outburst, please tell me its how you wanted it to turn out
this is what you get after 8 revisions of a massive wall of text
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There was plenty of detail. Though at times I choose to sacrifice going all crazy with it to spare the readers a bit of Wall O' Text. Dusty will return, that scene was simply a quick introduction and an insight into other matters.
Also, Star's mini-outburst? I'm not sure I'm following. If you mean his bit of drama with Lighthoof, well...we'll get more into that later.
Still. I thank you for taking time to comment.
1812118 By outburst i meant the one with himself and luna at the fountain
it seemed...off
let the self paranoia set in....i smell changlings...
1812159
No-no, no changling. Simply a colt who's figured out when Luna is just messing with him and has learned when to put his hoof down. Sometimes Luna goes a bit overboard with her teasing. Nothing quite so serious. Just a character learning how to deal with the Princess of the Night.
1812307
well thats one fear put to rest
as for the other...will there be another update before the 21st?
end of the world and all that
Promise me you will never end this. I WILL KILL AN ETIRE ORPHANAGE IF YOU DO
1812336
Tell you what, if you ponies are really good. And I mean, super Luna-tastic good, perhaps I'll post another tonight. I donno...this chapter hasn't gotten much comment yet. Not sure if it's because not all the long time readers have read it, or they've nothing to say.
Well, Lights self control definity got better. Keep up the wonderful progression.
Chapter 39 is most excellent.
I think we don't want to sound like broken records, You're so good, it's hard to give a detailed commentary without it sounding the same.
AND YESSSS!!!! NEW CHAPTER SOON. YOU NEED A DONATE BUTTON!!!
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1813687
Well, it's easy to comment on chapters without sounding the same. Talk about each scene and what you thought about it specifically. Any quotes or moments that really grabbed you. Confusion you may have over something. etc.
Too be honest i gasped when star began tung kissing luna. I feared he would be sat a bit back in their relationship.
And for some reason, i always give luna the voice of zecora when she speaks
I guess im just weird that way.
Cant wait to dusty and star get it on. Im calling it, Luna is going to do something to make it happen, i can feel it.
Besides Star has experience as in real experience on how to pleasure an earth mare and pegasus.
Only a unicorn to go before he has the tools to satisfy Luna
Besides can't wait to see what happens in the control centre
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Yah see, that wasn't so hard. That's the kind of stuff I'm looking for. It doesn't have to be super detailed or some crazy analysis. Just knowing your thoughts and personal feelings about the scenes tells me a lot. Everypony may feel differently about a scene/plot-element, and so it's important for me to get a grasp on how the readers are responding. If they didn't quite get my intentions, it assists me in clearing it up in the next chapter.
Anyhoof, I'll finish editing the next chapter after work. Should probably have it up this afternoon.
SQUEEEE!!!
YOU NEED A DONATE BUTTON!!!
And yes it wasn't that hard. Im just more the vocal type. Thats why i usually keep my comments short
"Told me this group is trying to promote griffon superiority or some nonsense." So Nazi Griffons? Interesting.
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In a sense. In my head-canon, griffons are a culture that promotes strength, honor and a pretty high dose of nationalism (aka my clan is better than your clan). The rivalry between the various clans prevents the nations from gathering under one banner and dominating the world. I don't think it would be a stretch of the imagination for some of these griffons to feel that they are the stronger race and should be in charge. If we look at the Heart-warming Eve episode, we see a taste of that between the various pony races in the early eras. Unicorns trying to dominate with magic, and the other two only able to resist it because all three end up needing each other to survive. So yeah...Nazi-ish Griffons if want to call them that, but not to the extreme of "Blue-eyes, White feathers." More along the lines of "Griffons are best, and consorting with the other races is wrong." Xenophobic?
1816182 Ah I see. So they are essentially an ultra-nationalistic/xenophobic/para-military group. It would be an interesting development if they became antagonists against our dear Star and his lovely lunar princess *nudge nudge wink wink say no more, say no more*.
nice
1810807 Everypony could still be doing these things, though silently. The story is at an interesting part, so like my own, some thoughts may be..incomplete. Its like that one part in the movie to where if you say anything while people are watching it, everyone and their mother with stitch your mouth shut.
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Haha, fair enough. Well, more puzzle pieces will appear today. So we'll see how yall respond.