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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I think (please no) the lunar treatment is the equivalent of 'happy ending'. If not then it's a very erotic massage
863178
Hah, is anything ever that simple when Luna is involved?
863178
Well if it were either of those I doubt Princess Luna would get it. Though who knows, maybe she's set up something unique for StarStep.
That was quite the cute little moment you had going there. Hardly any shenanigans from Luna at all!
Well, until the letter, where she all but challenged him to take the Lunar Special.
If you're feeling adventurous...
And Sweetie Belle? Now I'm all curious.
863288
The Lunar Treatment is like that big red button sitting in the middle of a control panel. You know you want to push it, you're a little afraid to push it, but you can't resist finding out what it does.
Ah Sweetie Belle...
863442
What, and spoil the 'plot'?
See what I did there?
I'm a little bit surprised at the interest in the grown-up CMC here. I half expected you ponies to demand more main-cast.
This has been awesome.
Can't wait for another chapter. One quick thing. As I recall when writing dialogue:
"Well hello there my good sir," Harold began, "would you care to spare a moment of your time to listen to my story?"
As there is a comma after 'began' you don't need to capitalize 'would' as it's after a coma. At least that's what I was taught in high school
I'll feel like an idiot if I've been bucking up my writing all these years.
Either way thumbs up was given and good luck with future chapters.
Hunter C. Creed
865202
To be honest, I never really thought about it. I've always written in that way. I suppose I'll break open one of my Wheel of Time books and look closer.
And thanks for the thumbs up. Wish more ponies would take the 3 seconds it takes to rate.
865825
Indeed. One of the points I wanted to make with this story. Is that social and moral views change based on population, environment, and biological needs. Such as mares going into heat. I figure the ponies are naturally good hearted and allows much more relaxed laws. With such a high female population, it's only natural for them to want to share males to ensure more ponies would be born. Some basic laws around that were put in place to prevent males taking too much advantage of the social structure and help cut down on fights between multiple mates.
Wondering in what kind of place Sweetie Belle could work.. Anyway, I'm so curious to know how all those spa treatrments worki..
This is still brilliant, I see
865202
I don't think you'd be easily able to capitalise anything after a coma
"After getting something to drink and a quick snack at the dining hall. Luna had dismissed Lighthoof for the evening, and wished him well on his out-of-town trip with his mare."
Alright, so I think I see what you were trying to do here, splitting up what could be a huge sentence, but "After getting something to drink and a quick snack at the dining hall." is a fragment. Were I you, I would just say "Buck it, this gets to be one big sentence."
mind fucked
mind fucked
mind fucked
mind fucked
863387
Did you say...big red button?
1571225 'presses button' friendship nuke going off in T minus 10 seconds "well buck"
for thou at one of the local Spa's
Lose the apostrophe.
Tis with jo I report thous does not snore. . Best line ever!
Found this story earlier tonight on the featured list, it's quickly becoming one of my favorites. Damn fine work.
2110159
Glad you're enjoying the story. I didn't know there was still a featured list. When they changed the banner, I thought it went away. Where is it located?
2110159
WAIT? There's still a featured bar?
2117719>>2110238 (i know this is Two weeks old but if ya havnt found out ..) front page ya nubs
where is discord so far he is like the ultimate prankster!?!?!? I wanna know!
Love everything about this chapter.
Also, very few if any word or spelling errors ^^ yay *plays final fantasy 7 victory music~*
CHEERS tonight i am going t make a night themed pony and start in a LunaxOC story that's for the inspiration
I remember what comes next, so ima skip the next chapter.
I didn't say anything about what actually happens though, so read on, new people!!
At this moment I have no idea what StarStep sees in this interpretation of Luna. I may be wrong but the premise, as I understand it, is that he finds the night sky beyond beautiful and thus it gave him some desire towards the creator.
Now that StarStep has met Luna, and given what he has experienced so far, I don't know why he continues to pursue her. Seems like more trouble than it is worth. I hope he has some moment of self reflection soon.