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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Interesting developments. As always, I eagerly await the next chapter to see how this wonderful story progresses
Mr. profit make that sick son of a bitch pay!!
Please
1132031
Mr. Profit?
I normally wouldn't comment, but it's at 599 comments, and I wanted to be the 600th.
Great chapter as usual.
I don't know what else to say other than...um...please update soon?
Is good, Story has...intresting devolopment and good bases
1134720
Alas, not every chapter can be a cliffhanger. But I really needed to introduce some characters and share more info about Lighthoof and the foal-napping case before we dive in. I hope there were feels to be had.
1135015 Oh so many feels.....
no sleep an calculus make me confuse people sorry
Ooh! Development on the stalker-unicorn! I predict Snips/Snails battle with Star/Light!
1138151
Eeeeeeyyyyahhhh, no. Sorry bud. Snipes is a hairstylist and Snails ended up as a chef.
1138872
AHHH DANG IT NOW I HAVE LESS TO ANTICIPATE FOR.
At least I still don't know who it is. And hopefully it's not an OC, I'd love to see what you can come up with!
1139844
Well, I wasn't going to lead you ponies on. Snips and Snails are just too...well, dumb, to be decent sneaky/stalkers. Sadly, the show has given very little speaking roles to non-mane six. Tons of BG ponies that no one knows and think are OCs when used. As a writer, it does limit my options for characters to use.
Well I just read all the chapters consecutively and its time for what I think *deep breath*
Cons: I wish the clop was a little more clearly marked so I would be able to skip it when embedded in a chapter. I think a simple XXX on the line above and under the clop scene would suffice. The earlier chapters were a little tinny tiny bit predictable but the latest ones have successfully thrown me off the trail.
Pros: The story is well written with dynamic characters. The character development proceeds at a nice clip and so does the shipping. The characterization of all the characters are pretty spot on including the oc's, they arn't changing every 4 chapters which I appreciate a lot in a story. The world you crafted feels big, it doesn't feel like like the world centers on Star it feels like he is just one pony handling life's challenges to the best of his abilities.
Overall I would recommend this story highly. Even though part of it isn't my thing the rest of the story holds up on its own without the clop. 4.5/5. Waiting for more
1144728
Indeed, glad you enjoyed it. I suppose there's no real harm in marking the clop sections. Though, in some ways it is important. Haha, I do so love throwing ponies for a loop without completely going off the deep end.
And you're right. The idea of the story was that he's just a pony with a dream. The world around him will keep marching on with or without him. Including Luna. I just tend to keep the story following him as an anchor point to the events and allow somethings to progress off-stage.
I have thought about clipping the clop, but there's so much mature humor and topics already woven in, I'm not sure it would qualify for the 'Teen' tag despite the editing.
Dammit, as much as I hope the bastard gets caught i really want this to last at least a little while. Get some Sherlock Holmes in there. But if poor Apple Bloom gets hurt I'll probably curl up to protect myself from the harsh realities of life. But what about the other victims? They're either all dead, or being held captive. And how come I'm getting a big enslaved sex slaves vibe coming from here? I mean, if their alive I dont think their having a teaparty... Unfortunately for them SOMEPONIES GONNA GET RAPED (maybe multiple someponies)!! Celestial have mercy on that sick bastards soul once StarStep get ahold of him.. I am expecting lots of pain, so GO FORTH AMUSE ME!!!
1137069 that's not really confusing so much as just not making sense.
1158779 oh, sorry
Aww, 7 days since an update. One soon?
1176355
yeah, soon. Gonna write a bit tonight, should have it finished and posted tomorrow (29th).
Just been kinda...bleh.
The Captain blinked at the spot the alidorn was standing before she turned her attention to the two pegasi, “Did she not want to get involved?”
You missed a "C" in alicorn.
Your writing is amazingly well despite the speed at which you crank these out. I'm jealous!
I have a strange feeling that they have already met the killer in this chapter... Its just a feeling, but its a strong one.
1326276 Trust your feelings, young padawan...
1147877 You have no ida how much I agree with you on the whole slave thing, a huge vibe for me. I hope the motherbucker gets gelded if it is.
It would have been nice to tell them that you know the stalker's magic aura is blue, you doof!
What a sorry ass guard!
Purposefully over dramatic bs concluded.
Carry on.
3171874
this.......
....I mean....This.... it's the one problem with this story. Both the gryphon attack, and now this.....
An important clue as to the unicorn's coat. Since Twi's aura is violet, luna's is blue, Celestia's is usually yellow like the sun....
....ITS IMPORTANT!!! D: ....ugh
it's plotholes and character slipups like this, that boil my blood in reading a story.
otherwise, eh...it's an ok chapter, I wouldn't go so far as to say it's over dramatic, since the things they are talking about are honestly serious, kidnapping...er...foalnapping, so I won't take a peg out of the chapter, it even lightened it in a few parts, so the overall structure of the story was very nicely balanced.
3554231
I'll be honest, at the time of writing this chapter, it did not occur to me to include the magic color. So it's an author slip-up, not Star's.
If this had been a story I had written then gone back and revised, some elements would have been moved around or better set-up. Alas, such is the danger of this style of writing. What seemed like a great idea at first, may not work ten chapters down the line.
Never said it was a perfect story, I just do my best to make it entertaining. I'll go back and fix the errors you found in the earlier chapters.
Im trying to catch up on all the chapters for this story, but DAWUM! It never ends!!! XD
It's been over a week now, and I am only a little over half way done with this story... it is amazing, and it catches my attention when im ready to stop reading. it is a perfect combination of romance, action, and the boring fillers all stories have... dude, amazing. I just need to say this... time to take a break, clean some dishes, make myself some Samichs (this is what sandwhich is when playing games)... then I will come back to read the next chapter...
3554231 lol, look at the story, not just the chapter. remember, Star was under painkiller medicines and magic at the time xD