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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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The plot thinkens!
Now in all seriousness I'm liking where this is going, so far so good!
Wow, only two chapters in and I'm hooked. You sir deserve a moustache
868192 DItto
Okay, this is interesting...
Granted...they are kind of cute.”
The new dialogue is very good and adds character to star
But this maybe makes a continuity flaw.
In a later chapter Luna says that she was glad and surprised to hear how early stars affection began. But she heard it from scoots. This might just be blurry memory but this could maybe confuse new readers that reads the story quickly
1824700
I will take another look at the Luna-Scoot segment and tweak the dialogue a bit. A reviewer had just expressed concerns that the early motivations behind Star's obsession were not clear enough and hurt the story. So I've been looking back to adjust as I think is nesscary. Chapter 1's new opening paragraph and this new talk between Star/Celestia. Thanks for the note.
The path not taken, it seems. I wonder if Luna will find out about this (assuming she does not already know - guardian of dreams and all that) she might take it upon herself to see if Starstep and Scootaloo were meant for each other.
tried reading this in equestrian, couldn't do it.
Aside from that, great chapter
1908326
In Equestrian? How does that read?
2750045
Delivery ponies get to go to the best schools and universities
GODDAMN YOU LIKE BUTTON!WHY CAN'T I HIT YOU MORE THEN ONCE!
Started rereading this story from the beginning to refamiliarize myself with all of the events. During the bar scene at the beginning of this chapter, I couldn't help imagining Lighthoof sounding like a hilarious crazy guy from a particular YouTube mini show.
7153962
Pretty sure I just saw a video that last night