Being against evil doesn't make you good.
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Three days have passed since the Great Change. Ironically, King Thorax is about to be the last bug in the Hive to learn an important truth.
The secret is something obvious he overlooked in his zeal for sharing love. It bears consequences for the entire Hive... and hard facts about who Thorax truly is.
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The epilogue's gonna have eleven dead changelings being quietly buried out back, Thorax hosting an emergency summit and inviting every Equestrian princess to discuss the problem, and a Dark tag, isn't it.
Hoping for more
7722251
Oh, you.
(I actually thought I left this one pretty upbeat, considering. But it's already self-contained because it conveys the message I wanted to convey... at least to me.)
7722251 Are you one of the eleven changelings?
7722262
Knowing horizon, I'd imagine he's twenty-six of them.
7722262 7722264
As it says in my user page, I am not a changeling.
7722256
Yeah, I was editing my original post when you responded and I wrote this into it: "Yeah, I can totally see this though. Good on you for actually managing to avoid going Dark with the implications. Certainly food for thought!" Gonna put it in here instead to thread it with what you said (even though we both were remarking on it at the same time).
Well it got... Dramatic. I hope to see how Thorax saves his hive
7722302 You're overdoing it with the AJ icon.
We already know.
This an insightful yet intriguing look into both Changling social and mental interactions. I thank you for this glimpse of such a scenario.
7722308
It was, uh, ironic Applejack emoji emphasis?
I
AM 
NOT 
A 
CHANGELING 
7722396 OH
REALLY 
? 
Because I'm ever the optimist and have a soft spot for the changelings, I like to think Thorax works out a solution of some sort that keeps things going just fine. To be sure, the first few weeks to months are probably going to be the hardest, but with that determination Thorax shows, I feel confident it'll all still work out.
I realize it's a one-shot, but there's a lot of potential for a larger story here, so I put in a vote that you consider exploring that if possible.
... déja vu. Have I read a version of this before?
7722544 I agree this story doesn't need to stop here. Right now it's just an idea.
7722663
The story is referring to the events of s06e16 "The Times They Are a Changeling", in which it was revealed that Thorax was never psychologically like any of his brothers. His Change is not a disguise, but only he and ten other changelings in the Hive have managed to undergo the Great Change. All the others faked it to fit in with their new leader.
7722672
I haven't read any other changeling stories, so it's possible I've replicated some elements found in others' works. But if so, it was done entirely blind—honest AJ.
7722544
7722676
I understand the desire for continuation when a story ends on a hopeful note, but I may be thinking of something different when I say "story" than what you both mean by "story".
To me, the story isn't the narrative. What's written here is merely a little vignette that barely scratches the surface of an interesting idea, sure. But what happens in the story (or in its possible sequelae or prequels) isn't what the story is about. Some of my stories have sequelae or prequels planned, but that's because I have more to say on a related topic that I can use the original story as a springboard to approach the idea more quickly. It's not because the original story was incomplete.
This can be a difficult sell when readers become attached to the characters and have just begun to immerse themself in feels, but the end of this minific already says what I want the story to say. I'm not opposed to others picking up my works and doing stuff with them as long as credit is offered and it's clearly marked noncanonical from my POV, for the record, but before you decide to travel that road, consider this...
If something terrible happens to likeable protagonists in a story, but the power of the experience allows you, the reader, to realize an important lesson that could help better your life: is that a happy story or a sad story? If in some sense it's actually a happy story, even in just the tiniest measure, extending the story to make the reader feel better about its conclusion might actually make the story worse... even if readers would prefer it for comfort's sake.
Just a thought. I don't think there's a right and a wrong here.
7722700
I totally hear you on this. I've written my own stories where I could've easily kept going on with, but stopped anyway because I had said what I had sought to say, and felt pressing past that point would more likely "ruin the moment" as it were.
Still, I thought I'd ask just in case a continuation was on the table anyway.
7722717
I'll endeavor to think about where else this story might go. Maybe someday I'll come up with something more I can use it to say.
7722722
I'll keep an eye out, then.
Why isn't there a Thorax tag yet? I almost missed this great short.
7722302
Which leaves the possibility open that you're the changeling. I think you need to work on rectifying that. :)
7723708
There isn't even a Moondancer tag yet, for goodness' sake. They've delayed adding character tags for a couple of years now, so I'm not holding my breath.
(This is a fact of which I am well aware.)
7722700
Trick Question, this story is excellent. Thank you so much for sharing this! I love the point you make, and I love that Thorax is determined to love his subjects to the end. This resonates with me. I too see an interesting idea I'd love to see further explored, but I understand what you're saying when you're using the narrative to tell a story, and that that story, the emotional idea of it, is complete. An extension...wouldn't be all emotion like this is. Still, I would love to see what happens. I guess I can dream it up for myself, though. The concept of this is clever (at least, it certainly never occurred to me) and the point is wonderful. Thank you again!
7723889
I'm really glad you enjoyed it.
Aww, thank you so much!
Now if only a hoofful of ponies hadn't disliked it enough to downvote! Ah, but the Feature Box is a cruel, competitive mistress. I think this will be one of those stories that sits and licks at her edges, but just barely, never quite enters. Entirely my fault: I shouldn't make assumptions about my works and act so vainglorious as to remain in constant suspense (like I always seem to).
7722700
Since you went there...
I'm all for stories that don't grind out the inevitable conclusion, or even show the events they're ostensibly about. See eg my arguments with Applejinx in the comments of "The gift of Lethe", or better, with Pascoite in the comments on "After the races".
But in both those cases, the story is a "story" because it handles things in a holistic, non-rational manner. It isn't an essay. You can't paraphrase the story without changing its meaning. I call "story" (and I should have another phrase for that, maybe "non-didactic literary story") a subset of narratives which has, e.g., a particular set of people and circumstances too complex to be summarized in any way shorter than describing them in a story, and also complex enough that those particularities bring out qualitative consequences that wouldn't be present in a simpler, more schematic version.
When I said this is just an idea, that was in that respect a negative critique, meaning that I think while reading the full chapter makes the story's idea more vivid, it doesn't change it qualitatively. You can paraphrase this story, which I think is a problem. Sorry.
7724276
Don't be sorry!
It's a valid critique, and I actually agree in large part. As much as I enjoy what I wrote, over time I'm starting to feel that I didn't do much more here than present a conflict (I don't mean the narrative conflict, I mean the philosophical one), but fail to resolve it with an actual thesis that has meat. Sort of, "here's an idea, but no presentation of facts to support any of the possible conclusions".
Because of that, I've been considering expanding this further into an actual exploration of the idea. It wouldn't be a short minific, though. It'd probably be a mid-sized short story. I'm not quite sure how to handle that on Fimfiction. I'll probably wait at least a week or two (if not significantly longer; I just mean that if I somehow wrote the entire thing today, I'm not going to publish it while this is still buried in the PS column), and then release it as a sequel.
EDIT: When I say "I'm not sure how to handle on Fimfiction", I mean, would it be better in some sense to just add chapters to this story and mark it Incomplete? I'm not sure.
7724276 7724315
Actually, scratch that. I'm certain enough at this point that I want to extend the story (and I'm 90% set on where it will be headed) that I'm going to mark it Incomplete right now.
I'll be making a blog post on this shortly, but in the meantime, I might as well give details here. So, here is a note to all other commenters: 7722253 7722262 7722302 7722340 7722544 7722663 7722672 7723708 7723779 7723889
PLEASE NOTE: After a bit of thought and debate, I've grown keen on stretching this story out further. And rather than make a sequel, I'd like to keep the whole work combined in one place. Therefore, I'm marking the story Incomplete for now. I'll post a blog entry later today to describe the details. I expect the fully completed story will be around 6k with what I have planned, but that's a wild guess and I frequently tend to underestimate such things.
One thing I need to be clear on: the story will gain more tags as it gains chapters. This is true both for character tags and story tags. All I can promise at present is that the story will remain E, and I do not plan on making it a Tragedy in the future (although I tend to avoid that tag anyway except when essential, for philosophical reasons). I'm not sure on the timeline for completion, but probably less than a month.
Also, I reserve the right to retroactively lie about all of this.
Okay, probably not. 
7724344
I'm a
helperenabler!7724344
I really do love this minific here.
I look forward to any additional stuff you may write I on this! Thanks for letting me know; I'm going to add it to my tracking right now
7724374
Or perhaps:
An enameler? Though that involves teeth, doesn't it?
Mike
The lings like Thorax now but if he can't feed them sooner or later there will be a regime change. It might not be violent but it will be unpleasant.
7724344 take your time, I wager I will enjoy the end results.
I guessed something like this would happen. All the other changlings changed immediately upon seeing Thorax defeat Chrysalis, it felt like politicians putting on flag pins.
I wonder if this will end with all changlings moving in with ponies.
If Thorax is sad about this news, wait until they tell him he has to start laying eggs!
7725067
I'd been thinking about that too. Hasbro hasn't been brave enough to broach the subject of how exactly changelings breed. As far as we know, they're all sexless except the queen, who is female and reproduces asexually. I don't think Hasbro wants to propose the idea of a harem-like structure.
There are other implications, but I won't discuss them here because there's a chance they'll be touched upon (at least briefly) in future chapters.
Love this concept, and the phrases you used, like "everybuggy" - so cute and apt! I wonder that the entire hive is male, though, since some of the changed changelings didn't have horns; I also love Thorax's characterization here, determined to love all his subjects. I think in a way that's why they're not completely starving, since he loves them all. Also, he learned how to speak formally I see- maybe greater power gives him more self confidence? XD
dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/37540750/jeremy-clarkson-not-bad.jpg
7725154 Honestly, considering the fact that changlings have a bit more individuality to them I always figured that they simply were allowed to either breed normally (Standard sexual habits) with the eggs going into a more social based nursing area to be taught by nurses with no attachment to parents or they have their own nurse/breeding system rather then the queen.
I mean really could anyone imagine Chrysalis taking the time off to actually sit down for months? Considering if it was a standard Queen social structure she'd be more of a prisoner rather then her 'Lord over the individual' style.
Honestly I am just glad to be seeing a story of this type that isn't going "The new changelings are bad because they are traitors!"
Sorry. Your story had a like/dislike ratio of 66/6, but I had to break the darkest number with an upvote.
7726066
You didn't ask for random Christian trivia, but you're getting it!
Oddly enough, most Protestants tend to refer to 666 as "the number of the Beast" because it's the mark the Beast uses—but the number is literally referred to as "the number of Man" in Revelations. The number itself isn't marked as bad, but the way it is used as a record of citizen loyalty.
Probably the best guess at the relevance of 666 is that it refers to the first six Roman numerals in descending order: DCLXVI. The early Church saw Rome as the great enemy (it was a government not always super-friendly toward the Jewish people or their cults), so most of the references to Bad Things are not-so-subtle jabs at Rome.
That said, I'm not positioning myself as an expert on the topic, and I'm going to redact the rest of my comment here because I think it came off as being condescending toward people of faith, which is not cool. My apologies.
Subliminal and associated ponies have performed a reading of the first chapter of Veneer:
They didn't know at the time that I would be extending it to a multi-chapter story (and to be honest, neither did I), but they've expressed an interest in performing a reading for future chapters as well. This is perfectly fine by me.
It's stated that changelings here have a strong drive to fit in. It was remarkable, imo, that Gossamer and the others were able to fully transform in under four days, when Thorax had a head start thanks to his friendship with Spike. Thorax also had a sort of halfway transformation, what with the shimmmery wings and all (though, granted, he was for almost all practical purposes an unascended changeling wishing to be something more). But more importantly, Thorax had to look beyond the hive to Spike to learn of friendship. Then, once again, he's on the right track with getting the Princess of Friendship to help. Maybe these transformations take a combination of time and close friendships. Friendship is Magic, after all...
7726655
The fact that only nine out of thousands present were able to succeed likely speaks the the rarity of the ability. The motivating factor of "desire to fit in" might be closer to "innately drawn to serve and emulate the most powerful bug in the Hive". However, these are just suggestions based on the clues given: the story isn't entirely clear yet on the truth.
(Which is one of the reasons I'm extending it.)
Well, this is an interesting story idea. I really like how the unchangedlings are trying so hard to fit in - even if it's just because Thorax defeated the previous leader.
--------------
7726285
> It's kind of hard to believe a third of the stars in the sky fall to Earth when you live in a time when we actually know what the hell stars are
Personally, I'd always suspected that part might refer to a really bad meteor shower.
7726827
There are plenty of apologetics that fit... but I'm going to redact most of this because I don't intend to either start a religious argument or imply necessarily negative things about the nature of faith.
I apologize for sounding off without using my brain. It was insensitive and dumb.
7726285
No offense, but the way you worded that part kinda made it seem like a lot of people ignore facts in favor of their faith. I admit that some do that, but just as many are interested in the facts. I'm sorry, it's just that that last part came off as a little condescending.
To clarify, I've absolutely no intent of starting a religious debate here or in private; those can get really ugly. XD I just wanted to speak my mind on that one part.)
7727726
You're right, it did seem condescending, and I apologize.
I didn't intend to imply that faith is mutually incompatible with acknowledgement of fact. I'll redact most of those two posts.
…intriguing.
...Hmmm.