Puffysaurus Fangirlus, Danish fan artist who dabbles in a bit of writing now and again.
Shining Armor is a busy stallion. He has a whole empire to look after. A child to care for. A wife to love. Ponies to protect, and keep safe.
He doesn't have time for this, when approached by the enemy confronting him with the facade of truths and lies we tell ourselves.
Time: After Times They Are A Changeling.
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Damn, that was intense! Well done! Very well done! I always hated that we didn't get to see what happened to Thorax in the Crystal Empire, and especially how he and Shining Armor and Cadence would interact with him.
This is a great it of character study and introspection. Excellent work!
9581469
Thank you! Glad I managed to get it somewhat intense at points, it's always turn out different how others sees the story you wrote vs your own vision of it. So your kind words are really appreciated ^^
Wonderful. Absolutely gripping. And much more fitting for the aftermath of that episode. Rewrites of that one are among my favorite categories on here. Shining Armor's anger here is palpable. Well done.
Interesting, but I think it would be a little better if there was more inner conflict with Shining Armor. If so many others are willing to give Thorax a chance, including Spike and Twilight, and especially Cadance are willing to give him the benefit of the doubt and a fair chance, then it would likely make Shining want to give him a fair chance too. At the same time, the issues pointed out are real, and Shining Armor potentially got the worst of it since he was being constantly brainwashed and fed upon by Queen Chrysalis. So his wanting to give Thorax a fair chance, but seeing him as a constant reminder of what happened and how he failed, would add a bit more tension.
9581837
I don't do much in rewrites usually, I feel it's a well filled out niche but plenty other writers, but once the idea for this one struck, I had to give it a go. Glad I'm not the only one happy with the result of my little idea.
9581952
It was attempted as a more in-the-moment thing. Yeah, it doesn't highlight a lot of the bigger conflict within Shining, but as you say yourself, the focus is on the emotions and memories brought up in the moment every time he has Thorax there to remind him. The idea is to show ways something can trigger you on different levels, especially on subjects you never fully talk about to anyone and instead just let fester.
I had in the first draft a much more lengthy introduction to the story to provide more depth to the conflict. But that, ironically, conflicted with the exact kind of story I wanted to tell. So I deleted it all up to the point of Thorax's first line in the final version of the story. Works better, less dragged out.
Significant Other saw this on dA and mentioned it to me.
Richard Thompson's My Enemy comes to mind:
Did I slight you in some little way
Or does hate help you get through the day?
One way or another, I'm happy your aim was so true
If the demons in you hadn't jarred
I would never have struggled so hard
The only thing now eating me is, what's eating you?
Short, but potent. I loved it! And would like to see more!
9583054
We might see more if I get struck by another burst of inspiration.
9582732
Wow, that song is just beautiful. And indeed fitting lyrics.