In a single night the world is changed forever after. Humanity has found out that it does not walk alone, that there are others out there. In the wake of this startling revelation, a young woman tries to find herself as her world is turned on its head.
This is an invasion, but the kind that no one was expecting.
Special thanks to Astrocity, Skeeter The Lurker, and The Cake Devil for all of their help editing this. If you guys have a minute go check out their stories. Also, I'd like to thank the many Anonymous animals on google drive. You never told me your secrets, but you were always there when everyone else was asleep.
Chapters (5)
OK... Question about the first chapter:
When Celestia evicts the heroine from her house, was it a crime? I mean, if the girl was the "owner" as in who signed the contract/pays the rent then Celly would be a trespasser and the girl would have legal right to call the police and to get the pony out of the house, right? I assume the boyfriend was the owner, if that didn't happen.
I'm also curious about how good of a girlfriend she was for him to betray and abandon her in such a heartbeat, no matter how nice Celly is. Either that or he's a worthless piece of shit. Disrespecting Loyalty is a big no in my book, at least. And should be in celly's too, with the elements being a cornerstone of equestria and whatnot.
But hey, when's the next part coming?
So it's an alien invasion to break up relationships?
I'm not saying he made the wrong choice, but.... you know... five hours?
I almost expected to see a gun pulled
Ah ha! So the plan is for them to mind control all the adult males on the planet!
She could always join an anti-pony group. You can bet groups like that would pop up immediately under these circumstances.
I'm.....sorry but this fic feels.....depressing Rachel has every right to be concerned its the way we raised I don't find her a bad person but its true they ARE horses and even though they are sentinate Rachel feels its still beastiality and that's what bothers her but other than that I feel that even if its intended or not making a character suffer again if intended or not is....kinda hard of a story to read I'm hoping its better for her but....I'm not sure if I can finish reading this...I'm sorry
Best kind of invasion
Some people aren't compatible.
Hmm, okay, I´ll withold any opinion and see where this will lead us for now.
Okay, there is defs something foul aplay in the state of Denmark here. No way in fluffing hell all this is natural. Well, at least there is no "Dark" tag.
how long is this fic? i hope to see more
I'm down with this. Say what you want, I've experienced the same situation James was in. I know it might seem heartless or disloyal, but at some point you have to have your eyes opened as to how unhappy you are in a relationship. Clearly James was, or he wouldn't have been so easily swayed.
I hoped protagonist will take a gun, kick off balls of weak-willed boyfriend, shoot down Celestia like true American. But story itself shows right moral- people really need more love and care this days.
If the ponies are so lonely then why aren't they starting relationships with the other creatures in their world like the griffons or smaller dragons?
Rachel used BOOP. It's super effective!
Well, the only good thing about this story was that it was just five chapters long.
What's the matter with people? Why so much hate? How the hell do I get to this Universe?!
This was nicely done. Thank you for writing this.
Well, that ended somehow unsatisfiyng. Kinda... dunno, way to open end? Maybe that´s just me.
Really enjoyed this. Just wish it was longer.
Poor James. Stuck with a controlling, unappreciative, shallow woman like that, there was never any doubt Celestia would be his choice.
im on the ponies side on this!
and i cant help but feel a bit of pity for rachel though....
oh well! hakuna matata!
woot!
WORLD DOMINATION for the adorable little weirdos called ponies!!!
woot!
WORLD DOMINATION!!!
woot!
and thus began the ponies.....
WORLD DOMINATION!!!
cool story dude!
woot!
7588113
Indeed. Their manipulation of our emotions makes them a credible threat to mankind's continued autonomy. In this instance, regardless of intent, their actions will inevitably lead to make us as helpless as nature and weather in their lands.
As unfortunate as it is, (seeing as I now have a uniquely new perspective into my own story) they act as invaders.
omg this was hilarious
, i can say who was in the wrong here, maybe James, like seriously ............ only five hours? haha
i am pretty sure that zoophilia is illegal in many states
7607943
Thus, Mankind fell into a dreamless sleep... from which it would never awaken.
7586354 griffons are basically annyoned of each other, never mind others and small dragons are... well dragons
7621393
And humans aren't annoyed at each other?
Besides, griffons are so cuddly looking.
7621830 annoyed wasn't the right word. anyway, griffons also don't seem like the social types with the exception of one
7612498 i dont know he seemed pretty checked out from his relationship with Rachel, so guess he wanted to try something new....
I am very pleased to find that this story does showcase the premise that I suspected that it might when I first started reading it. Yes, western society does very much feature a certain gender-based lopsidedness,so ingrained that many people cannot or will not see it, any more than they can see the air that engulfs them every day of their lives.
From the comments, it seems that very few readers picked up on this, preferring instead to take either a "humans are the best!" point of view or a "hail the conquerors" view. Oh dear readers, sometimes it's so very much easier to find fault when gazing outward than when gazing inward. No one was conquered here. Liberated maybe, but not conquered.
To the author, I suspect this scenario you propose might very well happen, not at the hooves of "invaders," but from the hands of AI and virtual girlfriends. As VR improves, as AI improves, as...robots improve, sooner or later somebody's going to ask themselves if it's really worth all the effort to put up with the socially expected nonsense that is western dating. Worth all the time and effort and money and misery and self-deprecation of throwing yourself out there only to be disposable for someone who can replace you so easily.
What happens when the other side learns what it means to be so easily replaceable? Learns what it means to give your all day in and day out and yet be found continually wanting because "better models" are so abundantly available and so eager to please? Realizes that just maybe they didn't have it quite so bad as they loudly insisted?
When that day should come, let us at least have the decency to not take pleasure in their misfortune.
7858954 You have read *waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay* too much into this. It's a story about a single jerk getting a comeuppance and learning a lesson from it.
EDIT TO ADD: Oh dear, it appears some thumbs-down trolls don't like me explaining the facts of life to someone who got it completely wrong. Sucks to be you, kiddos.
I think this chapter shows a lot about Rachel's main problems, and maybe why James left her so quickly. Her belief in a first date shows she views relationships more as a means to an end. More like a business partnership than two people in love. There's also the line about her having "put up with" him for two years. That's not love, putting up with someone. That's tolerating another person because you're afraid of being alone. Hardly basis for a loving relationship.
Your main character is an unlikable, irrational, over-emotional, overgrown child who drags what could be a fun story down into an unreadable mess. I pushed through the first chapter and part of the second to see if it would get better, but it didn't so I'm dropping the story and leaving it the thumbs down I think it deserves.
I was kind of hoping this would go somewhere unpredictable or have some kind of message. It really didn't. Oh well, whatever.
You know, it`s rare for a story to be decently written and still disgust me so much.
You handed a humongous idiot ball to the protagonist, and celebrate dancing around it all five chapters.
There`s a lot of places where Rachel could have easily turned the things around simply by telling unvarnished truth, instead of floundering around saying a lot of vaguely racist nothing. For example, in chapter three.
“Have you tried talking to one of them?”
She put the glass down and stared at Chelsea incredulously. "Seriously? Were you even listening? For crying out loud, I have been telling you about how I had a talk with their princess, and you still ask if I tried talking to any of them? Oh YES, I had! And what did the pony did after that talk, hm? Kicked me out of MY apartment. On which I`m STILL paying rent. For crying out loud, if she wants James, fine! She can have him. But god damn it all, what does a princess need MY APARTMENT FOR!? They`re all high and mighty talking about how callous I am, but you won`t catch them saying a thing about what kind of callous shit they do to ME, no siree. Ponies are all that is good and just in this world, apparently, and if some unwashed monkey like me loses her home to their whims, well all for the better apparently! So tell me, Chelsea, do I REALLY have anything good to expect from any of them, if their princess acts so?"
8162237
There's certainly a message, and I'm pretty sure the intended one is what 7858954 said, though you could also read it as being about FiM fandom in general.
8198509
Lordbucket is reading into this way too much. I don't count puddle-shallow morality of "friendship = good, hate = bad" as any kind of message or purpose for a story, and that's all this story really offered. I mean that's not to say that you can't have a story with that kind of morality but you have to have something else too, and this story lacked anything else. The only reason I even bothered reading it is because I thought it would subvert my expectations somehow but it didn't in the slightest.
8177250 I'm curious, did you find that unrealistic? Because in my experience, people very often can't see past the end of their own nose like that. People that deep in "self-absorbed victim mode" are surprisingly common. Everything is about them, and everyone else is the problem. Heck, I'm pretty sure that *everybody* behaves like that occasionally, even if they're old and mature enough to know better. That's just life.
8243042
I find it unrealistic that someone stuck in a "victim mode" chose not to air complaints that would`ve actually garnered a sympathetic response. A complaint of the "boyfriend dumped me for an alien princess" is iffy - regardless of how good or bad you are to aforementioned boyfriend, he is a free person, and there is no specific crime in falling in love. In the same time, a complaint of the "alien princess seduced my boyfriend and kicked me out of my apartment" is wholly different fish - it places the blame solely on 'alien princess' and lays an actual, law-regulated transgression at her feet. Out of those two complaints, the first would garner the "there there, you`ll find yourself a better boyfriend" response at best - not particularly useful. Second complaint, however, will definitely elicit responses of the "how awful" and "you should sue" kind, which are much more useful kinds of response. Why useful? Because if first complaint would at best, garner placating, second is a good enough as a rallying cry to get back at your offenders, regardless of how grievous their actual crimes are.
8243240
If you really find that unrealistic, then you haven't met very many people. When you're pissed off and not being rational, and particularly when you're certain it's self-evident that you're the victim, then you tend not to think of minutiae like that.
8244184
In the heat of moment, maybe. But the subject in question had ample time to simmer down, stew on it and mull the question from all possible angles. People who are feeling slighted tend to mull over their slights over and over and over - and yes, that does include ample consideration dedicated towards presenting their side of it in best light for the public.
8047726
A very insightful point. I'm quite thankful that this chapter exists to reveal this aspect of Rachel's thought process and portray her as a pitiable character, since I was disliking her by the end of the 2nd chapter.
"Hello, 911? I just witnessed a murder"
You said read to the end, so I powered through despite the premise expecting some payoff like they were all changelings or something, but it never came.
8358483
I've read many stories about human and pony relationship, RGRE applies here, and it is really interesting to read the same scenario from the opposite perspective. I like, how there is no good or bad people, just persons, that really needs to learn from their mistakes, that is what making them relatable.