• Member Since 11th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen Saturday

Bad Horse


Beneath the microscope, you contain galaxies.

E

After Zephyr finally gets a job, Dash points out that Fluttershy still hasn't got one. So where's her money coming from? Fluttershy seems to be the only pony who doesn't know.

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 137 )

Wait, blue moon isn't real? My childhood was a lie.

This was undoubtedly hilarious, darling! Although, I can't quite get the ending. I cannot be the only one... Can I?

Equestria is obviously a dirty, filthy socialist system with a Universal Income scheme in place.

Hippies.

I've assumed that Fluttershy was a drug dealer for years.

7284258
"The first one's alway free" is the tactic of drug dealers.

I'm mildly disappointed that there weren't one or two more scones in that order for even further alliteration. Of course, that would require Twilight to remember that Spike exists.

Best reason for an existential crisis ever.

As for the central premise, I am deeply intrigued. Definitely looking forward to seeing where you go with this.

7284299 You know, I always assumed she was just like that guy from All Creatures Great and Small, Herriot. Worked as a vet in the country, and thus workin' for the state.

Most head canons have Fluttershy receiving a salary from Ponyville Town Hall; she's technically a veterinary and she keeps most of the wild animals from the Everfree from coming into town.

Then there's the royal stipend she receives because she's one of the Bearers of the Elements of Harmony, to which is added Hazard Pay/Imminent Danger Pay whenever she's called on to save the day, or when the Map calls on her to solve a friendship problem.

And one fanfic mentions that she has a tax break and is exempted from paying property tax because her house is used by a Bearer of the Elements.

In weather emergencies/unusual circumstances (like tornado duty) the Ponyville Weather Bureau would also pay her for her services.

7284258 It's incomplete. Next chapter (with ending) should be tomorrow. I think the whole thing will be 4,000-5,000 words total.

7284391

Oh, of course. How could I have missed that? Thank you!

7284314

The James Herriot route is also one I totally see Fluttershy rocking.

Fun fact, Tristan from the All Creatures Great and Small TV series was played by Peter Davison, who would go on to become the Fifth Doctor. He's also the one whose daughter David Tenant, the Tenth Doctor, married.

So, obviously that's where Fluttershy gets her money from then. Time Lords.

7284332 "So what does she--" started Twilight before being cut off by Mayor Mare.

"Keeps the lesser urlocks out of Ponyville," declared the mayor in her most declarative voice. "For that, she gets a salary of two hundred bits a month, plus incidentals. Now, I'm sure you have questions about the rest of the budget, Princess Twilight, so let's just--"

"What's an urlock?" asked Twilight Sparkle with a frown. "I don't seem to remember them from the Wildlife of the Everfree Forest book in the library. That is before it was blown up." She looked up to see the mayor looking back, with a faint but well-hidden hint of absolute panic lurking in the back of her eyes.

"You. Don't. Want. To. Know." The mayor cleared her throat and pointed to the budget again. "As I was saying..."

7284396 Seriously, I'm a Doctor Who fan and I did not know this?:facehoof: ...Wow, guess that old saying is true. Guess you do learn something every day.

The beginning almost seems like something I'd see in Friendship is Witchcraft.

I...don't think you need to add a thing, Bad Horse. It seems perfect as it is. :pinkiehappy:

I've always thought that Fluttershy makes ends meet by doing odd jobs.

7284304

Fluttershy has always been the one with the stoner humor "I'd like to be a tree"

Comment posted by Shogoki deleted Jun 8th, 2016

Bwahaha. I literally laughed out loud on this one. XP Though for the other commentators, I believe the substance resembles cocaine rather than crystal meth.

I have a guess as to a different possibility, actually, but I'll keep that to myself until this one's complete.

7284396

That's why:

At our house, we always referred to the Fifth Doctor as "The Veterinarian."

Mike

The Spike-forgetting complex

I’d completely forgotten about him again.

:moustache:

... You've been sampling the rabbit's product, haven't you?

(how much per kilo? For, uh, research porpoises)

Reading this story is like walking on thin ice. I have take every step carefully or my suspension of disbelief will shatter completely, and then it'll be a race to see if I die of drowning or hypothermia. Or something along those lines. My point is that I have to keep reminding myself that OOC comedy is the point here. When I can bear that in mind, it's fun. The trick is bearing it in mind.

That ending.

In other thoughts, I wonder why "a vicious streak a mile wide!" does not come up in relation to Angel more often.

I must be dumb, because after reading this, all I understood was that Twilight is an abusive parent, Applejack is an Earth pony supremacist, and Angel is the fall guy.

7287292 ... what were you expecting? :applejackunsure:

7287378 Nothing, I just couldn't understand what was going on.

Delightfully demented. Although I'm not quite sure where you move to when you have offended Equestria's Capo di tutti Capi. [1]

(You know, I can actually imagine Twilight using magic performance enhancing drugs, but she'd make them herself, no doubt).

{1} Yak dealer: NOT PURE ENOUGH!!!!

I wasn't really sold on this until the very end.

Then I laughed.

Appreciated the hints throughout the story about what was really going on.

My head canon it's always being that they do pay Fluttershy for her work with animals, the same way that a ranger from a national park or a keeper for a public zoo get pay.

With tax money!

The government compensates her for providing a public service. That has always made sense to me.

That's also my head-canon for how the weather team gets funded.

~Leonzilla

How very bizarre...

So let's recapitulate:

-Spike it's essentially the princess slave.

-Angel Bunny is running illegal businesses implied to include drugs, prostitution, gambling, and weapon trafficking. Operating in resemblance to the stereotypical mafia.

-Applejack and the earth pony farmers are portrayed to be the equivalent of your stereotypical rednecks wrapped with prejudice and small government ideals.

-Cadence is implied to have a monopoly of the drug market in at least Vanhoover.

-Pinky Pie puts drugs into SugarCube Corner products to make ponies addicted to them.

-The Wonderbolts have been fixing their events.

-Twilight it's part of a fanatic group devoted to uncover the supposed conspiracy of covering up for physics laws.

she was all ‘That’s what they want you to think!’ and ‘The truth is out there!’”

“Twilight is certainly passionate about physics.”

“Passionate? It’s like a disease! She has this book club with all these pale, nervous-looking unicorns. Once a month they come into the castle dragging their physics books behind them, lock all the doors, draw all the curtains, and sit in a dark room and whisper about gravity.”

media.giphy.com/media/5aLrlDiJPMPFS/giphy.gif

Did I miss anything?

All and all a very interesting and creative story,

~Leonzilla

PS: This fic is very subtle at times, it's the kind of fic that makes you want to reread things once you know what's going on to be able to appreciate the details.

7287666 Yes, considering that Fluttershy is actually the one behind it all

7287733 No, Fluttershy is at most technically the one behind it all.

Angel is actually the one behind it all.

Just trying to be accurate here. :twilightblush:

~Leonzilla

7287666
...Are we sure this isn't the plot for an episode of Friendship Is Witchcraft?

7287666 Really, that's not the impression I got from the story. The impression I got, from the last comment Fluttershy made, is that Fluttershy was the ring leader all along, pretending to translate for an animal that can't actually speak (Angel Bunny), so that she could use this animal as her fall guy, which clearly happened.

7288005 hum... That's an intriguing interpretation, it is plausible, but I can see some issues, how do you explain the animals not only doing the work but also profiting from it with drugs for the ducks and cigarettes for the ferrets?

And why would Bad Horse bother showing Fluttershy at the beginning of the chapter counting her personal bits in private, twice, if she was just pretending to be inquisitive about her finances in public?

Explains everything, as far as I'm concerned.

I mean, come the hell on. They're just pastry. They can't be that awesome.

“You know,” she said, “at times like these, I wish you guys really could talk.”

:rainbowlaugh:

The idea I got from the story was that Angel Bunny was doing some sort of drug dealing behind Fluttershy's back and that was how she earned money. She didn't know where the money came from, just that it came from somewhere and Angel Bunny was earning the money for her. A noble cause, making him kinder than he appeared even if it was... drugs.

But then I read the comments. And that blew my mind and made me rethink everything.

What the hell is this?? Is Angel some type of drug dealer or something like that? I couldn't finish this.:pinkiesick:

Login or register to comment