• Member Since 30th Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen 39 minutes ago


A guy. A guy who writes stories. Stories about ponies. (And sometimes robots).


What starts as a boring afternoon in Twilight's library soon spirals out of control once Twilight introduces Rainbow Dash to the wide world of Daring Do fanfiction.

Inspired by this revelation, Rainbow Dash takes it upon herself to write the BEST FANFICTIONS EVAR. It can't be that hard, right? All she needs is an idea, a typewriter, and a whole lot of coffee!

It should be noted that "an editor" is not on Rainbow Dash's list.

Chapters (3)
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Comments ( 80 )

This is going to be bad. Or good. Or so bad it's good. :rainbowkiss::facehoof:

This was really well written, I'm glad I checked it out.

You should defos write more.

Fo sho

Legit 1000% more




I want to read Twilight Sparkle's fanfics.:rainbowdetermined2:

Well crap. Now I know what I look like to others. ..

Can't wait for the next!

#instant favorite

This has much potential. I will be watching *insert XCOM councilman pic here*.

“How hard could it be?”

However hard it would have been, it's now ten times harder. You never say that aloud. The universe will hear.

FYI I'm watchingt this. :rainbowdetermined2:

Oh Celestia, Rainbow Dash is going to write Daring Do as a Mary Sue, isn't she?:applejackunsure:

And that's how Rainbow wrote the Daring Do equivalent of My Immortal.

Please tell me she's going to try submitting it to Daring Do Daily only for her to suffer through the pain of continually having it rejected for the pettiest of reasons.

6170455 Don't be silly.

She's going to write Prismatic Rush, Daring's new partner/mentor/love interest as a Mary Sue. :trollestia:

Dash writes fanfiction...

Literature professors everywhere cover their eyes and scream out, "BLASPHEMY!!! BLASPHEMY!!" :rainbowlaugh:

I suspect her fanfic will rate just slightly above "The Spiderses" in grammatical quality. :rainbowhuh:

*Reads the story description.*

It should be noted that "an editor" is not on Rainbow Dash's list.

Oh Celestia help us all.

“You know, scientific studies have shown that delayed gratification can make an experience seem sweeter. I can find you the specific journals, if you like.”

No need to use terms she won't understand, Twilight. Just a short look through erotic fiction will point this out pretty quickly.

Twilight gave a wistful sigh. “You know, scientific studies have shown that delayed gratification can make an experience seem sweeter

"Really? Let me see those studies!" said Rainbow skeptically.
"I'll show you later" said Twilight.

Oh goddammit Dash why. :rainbowderp::pinkiesick::applecry::fluttershysad::raritycry:

H.P. Clopcraft

Sweet christ, that's amazing. Eager to see more of this! :pinkiehappy:

Hah! This got rather meta, in a very funny way, there. :rainbowkiss::facehoof:

Okay, can this story be in the feature box for, like, forever? This is something every (and I mean EVERY fanfic writer, even veteran ones) should read.

This should be required reading for new and aspiring fanfic writers. It deconstructs almost every overdone fanfic trope in such a hilariously brilliant way, that you can't help but read it and go, "Yep, this is it in a nutshell".

And I can totally agree with Twilight:


The moment I read that, I literally stopped and said, "Oh god, where is the vodka because I'm probably going to need it soon."

Yeah, I'm liking this a lot. It reminds me of my start a few months ago...



One shudders to imagine what inhumane words lie beneath that title... what dreams of chronic and sustained idiocy....




“Oh.” Twilight Sparkle's breath caught in her throat. “This is going to hurt.”

I know 'dat feel.

“Seriously Twilight, you should think about it. You're a lot hotter now that you've got wings.”

“Rainbow!” Twilight's cheeks flushed.

“I'm just saying.” Rainbow Dash shrugged.

"I, um, I sort of have to agree," said Fluttershy as she wiggled out from under Twilight's bed. Her camera unfortunately came out with her, but a practiced sweep of her wing knocked it back under the bed. "Having wings really adds a lot, if you don't mind, that is--I mean, I wasn't trying to suggest you weren't hawt before, please don't be angry..."

Her only audience was Rainbow Dash, who couldn't stop gawking at her. Twilight had already barricaded herself in her closet and wouldn't come out for weeks to come.


Oh god.. I can't stop laughing. :rainbowlaugh:
That title is unexpected!!!
Well, I expect something with cool and cool words, but this is beyond.

I was so happy when my notification come with this chapter. Have to and must be featured.
This one can work as a guide for entry writer, but in more fun way.

I can use this as my guide, 'cause I have plenty of ideas but don't know how to write. :derpytongue2:

Now this is how you write a satire! The explanation of all our favorite tropes and "fandom cliches", directly followed by an example of said cliche just had me laughing and clapping my hands at the screen.

This story should be part of a tutorial on how to write fanfiction. It's really good.

“It is! It's just that the best fanfic should be able to fit seamlessly into the canon, mostly indistinguishable from the source material.

And, instantaneously, every crossover fic is relegated to the garbage bin, where they belong!

Including FoE... :trollestia:

6181937 I could swear I saw fanfics like that... a few... thousand times.

Anyway, awesome title. But it's a trap, since the story is REALLY about Daring and Rainbow having a lesbian relationship which gets tricky when Daring is revealed to be a vampire and Rainbow gets turned into a werewolf. The hot dudes try to stake them, but keep missing and Daring and Rainbow become the heroes of gay monsters everywhere, including Luna... because Luna in a story guarantees a massive like count.


Ironically, despite the description this fic could definitely do with an editor

resigning herself to the fact that she wouldn't get any proper work done

Should be won't. There's a difference between the two - see: http://english.stackexchange.com/a/20498/5135

Though getting the book early kind of took some of the fun out of it- I mean, there's something to be said for standing in line for a midnight release, you know? There's a sense of camaraderie in staying up late with your fellow fans- not to mention the sweet, sweet anticipation, and

Dashes need to have a space before them, otherwise it reads as if Twilight was interrupted. I don't believe the first use of the dash is appropriate either. More subjectively, this doesn't quite sound like Twilight, both the fact that she appears to believe waiting is actually a rational use of her time, and the words used here - I can't quite picture Twilight saying 'sweet, sweet anticipation', for instance.

Twilight gave a wistful sigh. “You know, scientific studies

Twilight already used this phrase two lines ago. Unless it's a verbal tic which gets repeated often, people don't usually repeat phrases that frequently.

Ellipsis, like all punctuation, should have a space following them. You also use them a little too liberally.


Magicking is the word you're looking for.

up the stairs
leading to her bedroom

Unnecessary line break

Rainbow Dash spoke slowly as the mindblowing concept dawned on her.

Unnecessary adjective. You've already demonstrated that the concept is mindblowing through the way Rainbow spoke (slowly), her words, and the fact that the concept dawned on her.

featured box on the inside cover had
sexy pictures!

Unnecessary line break.

It would have been so easy to make this a series of mean spirited, sarcastic digs at everything you dislike about fanfic. Instead, you poked fun at the worst excesses of fandom while still keeping in mind what makes fanfic so wonderful in the first place. This story has real heart, and I like it.


Thanks for the critique! The formatting going from Openoffice to the FiMfiction template can be a bit wonky, I'm going to have to go back and fix those line breaks.

As for the wouldn't/won't thing, I'm gonna be a pedant and keep "wouldn't,' however, given the sentence's main verb is past tense.

“Stories, actually. Plural. Mostly short form- I like to explore the little, quieter moments here and there- the kind of stuff inbetween books, or even inbetween chapters. Stuff that might not fit in a faster paced novel...it's just kind of fun to explore the setting a little deeper. For example, one of my favorite stories is about Daring Do trying to write a grant proposal for her university...”

So, "write what you know", eh, Twilight?

I'm remembering a certain "Hoof of Argon" panel now.

Oh Twilight.
Poor, poor Twilight.
I am so sorry.
(Does the magazine not have quality checking or something?)

6191775 Apparently the editors' taste isn't any better than the average readers'.

and at the end, I- er, Rainbow Flash gets to punch a shark!

As long as you don't jump it Rainbow... as long as you don't jump it.

Meta and funny. Well done.

>Open fimfiction
>1 notification
>This fiction
>"Epilogue".... hah? What?
> 341 words..... WHAT?
B-but.... I expected a pretty long fiction.... I expected something like the struggles RD have when writing. :raritycry:

Okay.... seriously though... when I read the featured list (in this fic), seeing that hideous title suprised me.
Wow..... :pinkiegasp:

At least she changed the title. A word of the title. :twilightsmile:

And Nivrn turned his haughty gaze at the gently glowing display of his communication device, and stood aghast at the display in which he had scanned with his eyes. "Egad and Forsooth!" he declared with a bemused grin, "Or doth mine eyes deceive?" said the bemused reader. "Lest I be sore mistaken, before mine eyes I have witnessed a bard of the written word craft loftily an allusion to that legend most infamous, the account of Grignr the Barbarian!" Nivrn cackled in glee as that tale which is unfathomable in it terror and recounting.

:twilightblush: that was a great reference. I could totally see Twilight writing something like that. If anyone doesn't know what the Eye of Argon is... Well here's a link. Between the over use of synonyms, stilted dialogue and no one just 'saying' anything, and top it off with an unpronounceable MC name, Grignr, it's one of the best terrible stories of all time. My above attempt at recreating it just doesn't do it justice.

*reads the titles and descriptions of the other Daring Do fanfics...* Huh... Dash actually might win against those. If for no other reason ponies might believe it to be a satire of bad fanfics.

So this is Fanficception! A fanfic of a fantasy adventure series in a fanfic of a fantasy adventure series in a fanfic of a fantasy adventure series! (What? You all DIDN'T know our world is a bad fanfic?! How could you not!? You think people as stupid and worthless as the Kardasians could ever REALLY exist and achieve fame for nothing other than being vain, stupid attention whores in any REAL world?) :trollestia:

Surprised someone hasn't stolen that as a user name here yet.

I'm gonna have Rainbow Flash and Daring Do team up with Batmare and then they were gonna fight vampire robots. In space!

No, no, no! You're doing it wrong! The sequence of any franchise is:
1) Original piece
2) ... Returns
3) Son of ...
4) ... In Space
5) ...Meets Abbott and Costello

Before Rainbow Dash could reply, a light green earth pony with brown hair and glasses walked into the library. “Oh,” he said, smiling, “not interrupting anything, am I?”

Oh. Oh my.

This story is the work of a master amateur. The pacing is too fast, like a story written by an amateur like myself, and sometimes the story doesn't flow properly, belying an author still new to the art. With that said, everything else being so perfect implies that with a bit of practice the author could become great.

Good job, friend. I will be watching you.

Twilight rubbed at the bridge of her nose. “Just wait here, let me show you something.” She trotted across the library and up the stairs
leading to her bedroom, where she began to rummage around beneath her bed.

There seems to be an extra line break here in the story.

“I wrote it!” Rainbow Dash pressed the binder into Twilight's hooves. “I wrote the best fanfiction ever. Sure, I had to get a little jacked up on coffee, and I haven't slept in like twenty eight hours, but it was totally worth it! You've got to read it. Please! Tell me you'll read it! You've got
to read it! I worked so hard, and it's so good!”

Another extra line break happened here.

“I should have known! You hate it! You hate me!” Rainbow Dash started to bawl- which, given the fact she was still flying through the air,
made it seem like a spring shower had suddenly moved into Twilight's library.


I reviewed this story!

My review can be found here.


After JelloApocalypse's "Welcome to Fanfiction.net", this was a nice followup. So meta.

H.P. Clopcraft

... H.P. Clopcraft hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahaahhahahahaahhaahhahahaaahaahhaahahhaahaahahhahahaahhaahhahaha

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