Chapter 2
The next day, Twilight Sparkle cycled through her normal morning routine. Shower. Coffee. Toast. Newspaper. It was the sort of pastoral breakfast that she'd read about over and over again in any number of country farces (and a surprising number of murder mysteries), the sort of thing she'd come to enjoy since settling in Ponyville.
The pegasus at her doorstep threw her routine off, however.
“I did it!” Rainbow Dash kicked in the front door, and staggered in with a zombie-esque shamble. Despite her swaying gait, Rainbow Dash managed to clutch an overstuffed binder to her chest. The pegasus' eyes shone with mad inspiration, contrasting the dark circles hanging beneath. “They said it couldn't be done, but I showed them, I showed them all!”
“Showed who?”
“Them! The all thems! Those guys are jerks!”
Twilight shifted her weight from hoof to hoof. “Are you okay?”
“No!” said Rainbow Dash, with no small degree of pride. “I mean, uh, yes! I just...uh, haven't slept, that's all. But I did it!”
“Did what?”
“I wrote it!” Rainbow Dash pressed the binder into Twilight's hooves. “I wrote the best fanfiction ever. Sure, I had to get a little jacked up on coffee, and I haven't slept in like twenty eight hours, but it was totally worth it! You've got to read it. Please! Tell me you'll read it! You've got
to read it! I worked so hard, and it's so good!”
“Okay, okay! I'll read it!” Twilight said. “You just have to promise me you'll get some sleep.”
“Done!” Rainbow Dash spouted a half-mad giggle. “'cause I was just about to ask if I could crash on your couch.” She beat her wings and drifted across the library, drawn to the cushions with all the inexorable certainty of celestial motion. The couch was her destiny. “Is that cool? That's cool. You can tell me how awesome my story is when I wake up!” Rainbow Dash literally crashed into Twilight's couch and set about snoring at the volume usually reserved for industrial logging equipment.
Tentatively, Twilight Sparkle laid the binder on her desk, and pried it open. Over the course of her studies, she'd transcribed eldritch texts of unspeakble horror before; somehow, she felt she should approach Rainbow Dash's fanfiction with the same caution. She ran her eyes over the title page.
RAINBOW FLASH AND DARING DO SAVE THE DAY AND HAVE A POOL PARTY WITH A BUNCH OF HOT DUDES
CHAPTER ONE
“Oh.” Twilight Sparkle's breath caught in her throat. “This is going to hurt.”
Some hours later, Twilight Sparkle still sat at her desk, staring at the manuscript in shock.
“Whaddya think?” Rainbow Dash said. Her hair was still tousled from her much-needed nap, but other than that she was back to her usual chipper self. Even moreso.
“Uh.” Twilight forced a smile, and scratched at the back of her neck. “It's very...um...it's not like anything I've ever read before?”
“Awesome!” Rainbow Dash said, and wrapped Twilight up in a bone-jarring hug. “I knew you'd love it! I know everypony will love it! Because it's so awesome. It's gonna be on the front cover of Daring Do Daily and then everyone's going to love it and then I'm going to get a trophy!”
“Er.” Twilight gently pried herself free of Rainbow Dash. “I'm not sure if that's the next step. I mean, uh...I think you might be able to make a few improvements, actually, so it's even better.”
“But how can you improve on what's already perfect? This story has everything!”
“Think of it this way,” Twilight spoke as diplomatically as she could, “you're always trying to get a better time at the racetrack, right? Even if you've already beaten your personal record- you keep pushing yourself to do better. There's always room for improvement.”
“But that's different! That has trophies!”
“Let's...forget about trophies for a sec.” Twilight Sparkle said. “It's just...well, you made some...odd choices with this story, let's say.”
“Like what?”
“Well, here-” Twilight turned the binder to the front page. “You stapled a picture of yourself to the front page. And, uh, not to be a prude or anything, but don't you think it's a little...suggestive?”
“Of course it is! When I read your 'zines, I noticed that all the popular stories that got blurbs in that featured box on the inside cover had sexy pictures! I just had that picture of myself stretched out on that rug laying around, and bam, done.”
“Why did you even have a picture like that in the first place?”
“There was this one time Fluttershy took a photography class...”
“Actually, you know what, I don't need to know.”
“I think she's still got the camera in a closet somewhere, if you wanna get your picture taken.”
“Rainbow!”
“Seriously Twilight, you should think about it. You're a lot hotter now that you've got wings.”
“Rainbow!” Twilight's cheeks flushed.
“I'm just saying.” Rainbow Dash shrugged.
“Look, let's...let's get back to your fanfiction.” Twilight forced herself to look back at the manuscript, where Rainbow Dash's languid pose just made her blush a little harder. Twilight turned the page. “While I admit, the photo is somewhat...attention grabbing. But it doesn't have anything to do with the rest of the story.”
“Sure it does! Because technically, that's not a picture of me, that's a picture of-”
The epiphany hit Twilight like a jai lai ball through plate glass. “-Rainbow Flash.”
“Yep!”
“Your OC.”
“My what?”
“Original Character. Someone who's not from the source material- which, in this case, are the Daring Do novels. Sometimes it's necessary to add them, but it's something you should really be careful with- especially with a self insert OC like this one.”
“Why? I'm awesome, therefore my character should be awesome. Duh.”
“Don't you think putting yourself into a story is just a teensy bit...egotistical?'
Before Rainbow Dash could reply, a light green earth pony with brown hair and glasses walked into the library. “Oh,” he said, smiling, “not interrupting anything, am I?”
“Nope! Not interrupting anything at all!” Twilight Sparkle said entirely too fast, and flared her wings out to hide Rainbow Dash's manuscript.
“Oh, okay, good.” The earth pony gave a dazzling smile, “I'm afraid I don't have time to chat- just wanted to drop off these books before I forgot. You'd come after me if I started racking up overdue fees.”
“Oh, I'd never do that.” Twilight Sparkle said, and fidgeted at the floor with her hoof.
“You sure? Because there are worse things to happen than having a cute princess chase after you.” The pony winked roguishly, and headed for the door. “See you next time, Twilight!” he said.
Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle watched him go.
“Man, that Tumbleweed guy is dreamy.” Rainbow Dash said.
“He sure is.” said Twilight.
They sighed in wistful unison.
Rainbow Dash was the first to shake herself out of her justifiably lovestruck fugue. “What were we talking about again?”
“Oh! Right.” Twilight said, “As I was saying, just adding a self-insert OC is going to turn off a lot of readers.”
“But if I took myself- I mean, uh, if I took Rainbow Flash out of the story, who's going to be the main character?”
“Well, you could always focus more on Daring Do.”
“But then how will everyone know how cool I am?”
“Well, maybe they'll think you're cool since you wrote a story they enjoyed?”
“Hmmmm.” Rainbow Dash rubbed her chin. “Maybe you're onto something...but, wait! If I take Rainbow Dash- I mean, er, Rainbow Flash out of the story, who's gonna make out with Stormbolt?”
“Stormbolt? Did you make up another OC?”
“Not this time! I just gave that one pegasus dude from book three a name. You know, the cute guy who tried to ask Daring Do out for coffee in chapter six, but he never got the chance because then a bunch of ninjas attacked?”
“Oh!” Twilight said, “You're talking about Chocobean.”
“What?”
“That's his name.”
“No it's not.” Rainbow Dash said. “The book only referred to him as 'that guy.'”
“Right, the books did, but someone decided to call him Chocobean in a fanfic, and the name just kind of stuck. He's a little jittery and drinks too much coffee but he's really a sweet guy at heart. Also he's in love with Willow Whisper.” Twilight smiled fondly at the thought of the cute couple.
“Who?”
“She's the botanist Daring Do talks to in book seven when she's trying to figure out what kind of poison the villain's using.”
“She has a name too?”
“Oh, absolutely. There's a whole bunch of generally accepted characters that a lot of writers draw from in order to flesh out their stories.”
“So wait. Putting myself into a story is weird, but slapping new names on background ponies is okay?”
“Well, yes!” Twilight said. “Besides, the two of them are a perfect match! Chocobean is nervous and jittery, while Willow Whisper is more laid back and carefree. It's so sweet!”
“But they're not even in the same book!”
“They could be! Theoretically. There are rumors that A.K. Yearling is going to bring them back for book ten, just as a little in-joke to the fans.”
“That's dumb.” Rainbow Dash huffed, and fluttered up towards the window in a huff. She leaned against the windowsill, looking out on the summer afternoon. “I thought this whole fanfic thing was so I could make up my own story, and now I have to worry about a bunch of characters and stuff that someone else made up?”
Her huffy pout was cut a little short as she waved to a few ponies passing by. “Oh, hey Octavia, hey Vinyl Scratch.” said Rainbow Dash. The two musicians waved back cheerily, and continued on their merry way.
“It's not dumb.” Twilight Sparkle said. “It's actually a rather interesting example of the collaborative nature of fandom. It's honestly fascinating from a sociological perspective, much less from someone who's read the books...”
“I thought the whole point of fanfic was so you could write your own story?”
“It is! It's just that the best fanfic should be able to fit seamlessly into the canon, mostly indistinguishable from the source material. Certain...minor deviations are acceptable, of course, if you want to include aspects that might not be in the original work.” Twilight Sparkle trotted over to her liquor cabinet and started to mix herself a cocktail. She had the feeling she was going to need it.
“But what about the sequel?”
Twilight's telekinesis faltered, and the ice in her mint julep clanked against the glass with a too-loud clink. “Sequel?” Twilight said, and downed her cocktail in a single gulp. She started to pour another, by reflex.
“Of course! You didn't think I'd only write one story, did you?”
“I'd....kind of hoped.”
“I haven't started on it yet, but it's gonna be super awesome! I'm gonna have Rainbow Flash and Daring Do team up with Batmare and then they were gonna fight vampire robots. In space!
“A crossover? Oh boy, are you sure that's a good idea?” Twilight Sparkle sat down on her couch, which wobbled beneath her. “I swear, this thing hasn't been the same since Grimlock showed up.” She murmured.
“Oh! Also they'd be in high school so everyone has to find a date for prom by the end. Spoiler alert, I hook up with Stormbolt.” Rainbow Dash flew an excited little circle in the air as she rattled off her plot points.
“Chocobean.” Twilight said, by reflex.
“Whatever. There's gonna be a make out scene and then Rainbow Flash will touch his butt and it'll be super hot.” Rainbow Dash blushed at the thought.
Twilight Sparkle cringed. “Okay, Rainbow...I mean this in the best possible way...but I think you might want to consider...not writing that story.”
Rainbow Dash blinked. “Why not?”
“Because...” Twilight sighed, and rubbed at the bridge of her nose. “It sounds like a very...difficult concept..”
“Difficult, schmifficult! My first story was so awesome, so my next will be even better!”
“About that...”
“Huh?”
“I'm glad you're writing. I really am. It's just...don't you think you might need a little more practice?”
Rainbow Dash narrowed her eyes. “What're you trying to say, Twilight?”
“I'm sorry, it's just...I don't think this story works.” Twilight said, softly as she could.
“What do you mean it doesn't work? There's paper, and there's words on them, and you read them. DUH. I thought you were the egghead here?”
“That's not what I meant!” Twilight Sparkle stomped her hoof in frustration. “Rainbow, you're my friend...but your fanfic is terrible! The plot doesn't make any sense, the dialogue is flat, the formatting and punctuation is atrocious, you didn't capitalize anything, and the worst part is, there's no emotional conflict!” The critiques rolled out of Twilight's lips, one after another.
“But...” Rainbow Dash's lower lip quivered, “but I worked so hard.”
“I know.” Twilight said. “But you're still pretty new to this. Your enthusiasm is there, but...”
“You don't like my story.”
“I like that you wrote a story-”
“But you don't like it!”
Twilight Sparkle winced. “Well, no...”
“I should have known! You hate it! You hate me!” Rainbow Dash started to bawl- which, given the fact she was still flying through the air,
made it seem like a spring shower had suddenly moved into Twilight's library.
“That's not true!” Twilight Sparkle teleported in front of Rainbow Dash, and then caught herself with a few beats of her wings before she could plummet to the floor.
“You're just jealous, that's all! You're jealous I wrote the most amazing story ever, and you didn't! Not like I saw any of your stories in that featured box!”
“Hey!” Twilight Sparkle gasped. “That doesn't have anything to do with anything!”
“Of course it does! I just want to give the people what they want! I read all of those 'zines you gave me, and every one had a story with a sexy cover where Daring Do got to make out with somepony and touch butts and be rad and stuff!”
“I don't care about the butt touching, I care about the format! You could write a story about Daring Do grinding someone up into cupcakes, so long as you use the right punctuation!”
Rainbow Dash looked justifiably horrified. “Daring Do would never do that!”
“Sure she would! She's an Archeologist! Daring Do knows the value of proper formatting!”
“I meant the eating ponies thing.”
“Oh,” Twilight Sparkle said, “yeah, you're right. A story like that would be awful. But some ponies like to write stuff like that, just to get a rise out of people.”
“Weirdos.” Rainbow Dash said, and dabbed tears from the corners of her eyes. “Maybe...maybe I shouldn't write any more fanfic at all. Not worth it.”
Twilight Sparkle sighed, and glided down to the floor again. “It's only worth as much as you take from it, Rainbow Dash. Nobody's getting paid for fanfiction. It's just a way to share some fun ideas, that's all.” She trotted up the stairs towards her bedroom. “C'mon, I want to show you something.”
“What now?” Rainbow Dash followed, still sniffling.
Twilight rummaged around beneath her bed, and finally pulled out a battered, dusty folder, which she presented to the pegasus. “Here,” she said, “I want you to see this. It's something that I haven't shown anypony before. Ever. Not even Spike.”
“Really?” Rainbow Dash said, suspicious, “is this, like, secret magic princess stuff?”
“Even more secret than that. Go on. Read it.”
Rainbow Dash opened it up, and read the title.
DARING DO AND THE EMERALD EYE OF ARGON:
VOLUME ONE OF THE SUNDOWN HAZE CHRONICLES
Rainbow Dash leafed through the dusty, brittle pages, running her eyes over the scribbled notes within. “You...you wrote this?”
“I did.” Twilight Sparkle said. “It's the first Daring Do fanfic I ever wrote.”
“Wow.” Rainbow Dash turned the page. “This is, uh...kind of...bad. I don't even know what half these words mean. Did you eat a thesaurus or something?”
“I temporarily absorbed one into my brain, but...close enough.” Twilight Sparkle chortled delicately. “It's okay, Rainbow Dash. I know it's awful. I think I knew it back then, too. It's why I haven't shown anypony until now.”
“Why me?”
“Because I wanted you to understand- when you start writing...well, everyone starts from the same place. And that place is pretty awful. Writing's a skill like any other, and one that you can grow and develop through lots of hard work and practice. It's not that different from competitive flying, really.”
“Except you get trophies for that.”
“Yes, that's true.” Twilight said. “But fanfiction isn't a competition...it's a collaboration. You put your work out there, see what other ponies think...and if you're lucky, they'll love it almost as much as they love the source material. But it takes time- you can't just expect to make something worth publishing the first time you sit in front of a typewriter. I'm not trying to discourage you, Rainbow...it's just that I'm trying to keep things realistic, that's all. I can help you with your stories, if you like.”
“Really?”
“Of course! That's what friends are for! Besides, beneath all the spelling errors and run on sentences and your self-insert OC, you've actually got some really good ideas. With a little work...well, a lot of work, I think you could write something really great. I'd love to be your editor! It'd be like having a coach, only for writing!”
“A coach?” Rainbow Dash perked up. “I didn't know you could be a coach without a whistle.”
“Like I told you, writing's different. But for now, I think you just need to take a break, relax, and take your time in writing your next story. It's not a race, there's no deadline.”
“Can I leave in the part where Daring Do makes out with a hot dude?”
“If you really think it's important to the story...” Twilight Sparkle pulled another folder out from beneath her bed. “Let me tell you about something called 'slash.'”
“That sounds cool! Does it have swords?”
“Kinda? Right now, I think we'd better just take one thing at a time...”
Stats
Page generated in 0.02 seconds
Total duration
710 users online
1,038,092 hits today, 2,280,440 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Hah! This got rather meta, in a very funny way, there.
Okay, can this story be in the feature box for, like, forever? This is something every (and I mean EVERY fanfic writer, even veteran ones) should read.
This should be required reading for new and aspiring fanfic writers. It deconstructs almost every overdone fanfic trope in such a hilariously brilliant way, that you can't help but read it and go, "Yep, this is it in a nutshell".
And I can totally agree with Twilight:
The moment I read that, I literally stopped and said, "Oh god, where is the vodka because I'm probably going to need it soon."
Yeah, I'm liking this a lot. It reminds me of my start a few months ago...
I know 'dat feel.
"I, um, I sort of have to agree," said Fluttershy as she wiggled out from under Twilight's bed. Her camera unfortunately came out with her, but a practiced sweep of her wing knocked it back under the bed. "Having wings really adds a lot, if you don't mind, that is--I mean, I wasn't trying to suggest you weren't hawt before, please don't be angry..."
Her only audience was Rainbow Dash, who couldn't stop gawking at her. Twilight had already barricaded herself in her closet and wouldn't come out for weeks to come.
mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw4962-1337029243817.png
Suffer for your sins.
pre05.deviantart.net/2c4e/th/pre/i/2012/083/9/d/twilight_sparkle___beware_of_falling_anvils_by_firestorm_can-d4tudd5.png
Oh god.. I can't stop laughing.
That title is unexpected!!!
Well, I expect something with cool and cool words, but this is beyond.
I was so happy when my notification come with this chapter. Have to and must be featured.
This one can work as a guide for entry writer, but in more fun way.
I can use this as my guide, 'cause I have plenty of ideas but don't know how to write.
Now this is how you write a satire! The explanation of all our favorite tropes and "fandom cliches", directly followed by an example of said cliche just had me laughing and clapping my hands at the screen.
This story should be part of a tutorial on how to write fanfiction. It's really good.
And, instantaneously, every crossover fic is relegated to the garbage bin, where they belong!
Including FoE...
6181937 I could swear I saw fanfics like that... a few... thousand times.
Anyway, awesome title. But it's a trap, since the story is REALLY about Daring and Rainbow having a lesbian relationship which gets tricky when Daring is revealed to be a vampire and Rainbow gets turned into a werewolf. The hot dudes try to stake them, but keep missing and Daring and Rainbow become the heroes of gay monsters everywhere, including Luna... because Luna in a story guarantees a massive like count.
Ironically, despite the description this fic could definitely do with an editor
Should be won't. There's a difference between the two - see: http://english.stackexchange.com/a/20498/5135
Dashes need to have a space before them, otherwise it reads as if Twilight was interrupted. I don't believe the first use of the dash is appropriate either. More subjectively, this doesn't quite sound like Twilight, both the fact that she appears to believe waiting is actually a rational use of her time, and the words used here - I can't quite picture Twilight saying 'sweet, sweet anticipation', for instance.
Twilight already used this phrase two lines ago. Unless it's a verbal tic which gets repeated often, people don't usually repeat phrases that frequently.
Ellipsis, like all punctuation, should have a space following them. You also use them a little too liberally.
Magicking is the word you're looking for.
Unnecessary line break
Unnecessary adjective. You've already demonstrated that the concept is mindblowing through the way Rainbow spoke (slowly), her words, and the fact that the concept dawned on her.
Unnecessary line break.
6184931
Thanks for the critique! The formatting going from Openoffice to the FiMfiction template can be a bit wonky, I'm going to have to go back and fix those line breaks.
As for the wouldn't/won't thing, I'm gonna be a pedant and keep "wouldn't,' however, given the sentence's main verb is past tense.
I'm remembering a certain "Hoof of Argon" panel now.
And Nivrn turned his haughty gaze at the gently glowing display of his communication device, and stood aghast at the display in which he had scanned with his eyes. "Egad and Forsooth!" he declared with a bemused grin, "Or doth mine eyes deceive?" said the bemused reader. "Lest I be sore mistaken, before mine eyes I have witnessed a bard of the written word craft loftily an allusion to that legend most infamous, the account of Grignr the Barbarian!" Nivrn cackled in glee as that tale which is unfathomable in it terror and recounting.
No, no, no! You're doing it wrong! The sequence of any franchise is:
1) Original piece
2) ... Returns
3) Son of ...
4) ... In Space
5) ...Meets Abbott and Costello
Before Rainbow Dash could reply, a light green earth pony with brown hair and glasses walked into the library. “Oh,” he said, smiling, “not interrupting anything, am I?”
Oh. Oh my.
This story is the work of a master amateur. The pacing is too fast, like a story written by an amateur like myself, and sometimes the story doesn't flow properly, belying an author still new to the art. With that said, everything else being so perfect implies that with a bit of practice the author could become great.
Good job, friend. I will be watching you.
Another extra line break happened here.
Ditto.
6180888 Agreed. this was awesome.
Not gonna lie, this line made me laugh rather excessively.
Upvoted for Eye of Argon reference.
I..you so perfectly captured how hard it can be to break truth to new authors. I could kiss you. But I'm way to into your pony OC, he's so dreamy *sighs*
Just... just why?
That was ballsy as fuck. XD
wat
Uh... okay?
Wat? Who is that?
Oh.