• Member Since 2nd Jan, 2013
  • offline last seen Dec 28th, 2020


Q(^_^Q). The friendliest misanthrope you'll ever meet.


Twilight Sparkle Esquire takes a team of ponies deep into the floating Everfree in search of the fabled forty-two foot emerald anaconda. She is going to be the first pony to prove that a snake can swallow a pony whole, and live…. for science!

But she will soon find out one does not simply get eaten by a giant anaconda… and along the way, she’ll raise awareness to save the rainforest in case they can’t find a snake and have to stage the entire thing back at a zoo.

Parody of Discovery Channel's Eaten Alive
Edited by: DashTheStampede, Neko Majin C

#SaveSharkWeek #CelestiaFriendshipLessons #ToTheMoon #SaveTheRainforest #PETA #OhNoSheDidn't

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 56 )

:rainbowlaugh: I'd totally read that.

This just made my day.

Whats gotten into you? You are writing, like writing alot. You sick?

I couldn't believe that someone would actually want to do that and have it be a t.v. show.

I certainly wouldn't have expected it to become a fanfic.

It's funny how life works sometimes.

Well, I liked this a hell of a lot better than the real one.

dude, you are capable of writing decent stories. why the fuck do you write garbage like this?

Twilight had been casting a spell on them all daily ever since Nightmare Moon escaped to ensure they remained friends.

Sadly, this explains a lot about Rarity and Applejack...

5403318 ...... please focus on how shittily made this story is rather than accepting anything in it is at all sensible. cause none of it is.

I take it that you, like me, feel that the dick who was doing that stupid stunt SHOULD have been eaten.

tiwlight's dollhouse, dash of humanity........

you cannot write shit stories and not expect to be called out on it dude. you are BETTER than this.

How about instead, I ignore the guy too lazy to use proper writing and with such an ego that they think every story on the site must conform to their personal standards and just enjoy the parody and make jokes in the comments?

5403359 and now you are defending a story where twilight's friendship is utterly fake, the mane six murder each other, and it basically nothing but a lazy trollfic that should not be tolerated from a guy who is legitimately competent.

It doesn't matter if he is "legitimately competent." He can write whatever he wants, as long as it sticks to the site rules.

No I made a joke about how such a scenario makes a twisted bit of sense when you look at the two members of the mane six who are, arguably, the most antagonistic towards each other.

Also, while this fic isn't exactly literary gold, it's not bad AND it was written as a parody for comedy and thus SHOULD NOT BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY! So how about you take the stick out of your butt and let Kaidan and those of us who read the comedy tag in the description have our laugh?

5403401 i know it is a joke. but it is not funny or clever or even well executed.

am i not allowed to expect at least a little competence in what he writes, a little cleverness?

5403397 the guy wrote stories like twilight's dollhouse. am i not allowed to expect quality from a guy capable of quality? at the very least not some dumb trollfic.

also reason why i have all those is because of people who can't take a critique and or are just assholes period. you adding 'a hundred and one' is not funny when half of those comments were people saying i should kill myself.

I've got the fever, and the only prescription is more fan fiction. Also free time. And presents.

Question: 5403317
Answer: 5403304 <===

Yeah, and that maybe taking the arms and legs off a snake-proof crush suit so that they get crushed between a snake and a crush-proof snake suit isn't exactly the brightest idea.

I sometimes wonder what would happen without Twilight there to mediate. I like to picture a cat fight ending in negligent homicide.

I didn't force you to read the 'dumb trollfic' and if writing them once in a while keeps me happy and writing more Dash of Humanity or Twilight's Dollhouse, isn't that a win for you anyway? :unsuresweetie:

I like it when you get a fever then :P

5403370 I'm wondering when the mods will ban you cause every fic I see you comment on is nothing, but you bitching. See how I used caps on the first word after I finished that sentence? Look I did it again.

5403614 They are not going to because I am not a troll. Plain and simple.

also i do not care about capitalizing.

5403628 Well you do bitch, throw your shitty headcanons and what you think is right at the authors. I think that's a good reason to ban a prick like you or you could do us a favor and not comment on stories? Wow, caps are so fun to use.

5403635 and completely missed that i had properly capitalized my first two sentences.

obviously not dude.

This doesn't make any sense. Why would Fhuttershy left Twilight to be eaten and then to die? And plus Fluttershy should of been sent to the moon too. Also Celestia can know if somepony is lying.

It was funny and all, but I feel that you went overboard with the puns. And then the fourth wall breaking about the puns. Meh, overall, a good time.

Well shit. I'm all for vore, but hard vore ain't quite my cup of tea. Still, great story!

I'm surprised the fourth wall breaking didn't ruin it for you, because I remember you once said that, unless done right, you hate fourth wall breaking.

5407255 the rest of the fic (plus muh fetish) salvaged it, but it was wandering into...


5403644 Dude, just stop. It's people writing whatever they want. Stop wasting your time here, it's not doing anyone any good, yourself included. Why keep at it if you hate something?

5407573 The guy's got issues, that's for sure.

5407654 Well I mean I made a blog about that sort of thing just a day or two ago. I mean more likely than not, many of us have been outcasts at some point or another we came here to write/read stories and to feel accepted, not be treated like shit because someone's bored.

Those tags XD

That was great. But the real guy who tried it had a self contained breathing system, specifically so there weren't lines to be damaged. Not that it would have helped. He chickened out before it even started swallowing him.

5404906 Likewise. Well written, but hard vore doesn't really do much for me. Cheers!

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-that's not funny, you sick fuck.

The FUCK did I just read!?:rainbowhuh:

Why is it always Twilight getting eaten by snakes in your stories?

I was laughing almost all the way through though.
RD and AJ showed us who was finally stronger of the two.
Rarity showed us that being a drama queen actually is quite dangerous.
Fluttershy showed us that its always the quiet ones...
Pinkie Pie showed us... Um, cake or something. *shrug* It's is just Pinkie being Pinkie.
And finally Twilight showed us that friendship really is stupid and that she should have kept to her books. Also a stupid idea for science is still a stupid idea...

P.S: Friendship is quite the fantastic thing, but if it needs to be artificially reinforced then its not really friendship.

The hell? What is wrong with you just no words that was crap

I will kill you for ... Wait no FOR GOOD FAN-FICTION WRITHERS EVERY WEAR

It was okay, but there was too much forced wordplay. Like "dischoovery". Otherwise it was an interesting concept.

Reading one of your stories is always a lottery. Some are amazing, some are… not. I'll leave without voting on this one, since, although it wasn't exactly enjoyable, it obviously wasn't meant to be.

I love how I completely missed the dark and tragedy tags and my eyes only focused on the comedy tag. So by the time I finished reading this I was left feeling... Something. My first ththoughts were

"dafauk did I just read?"


"that got dark pretty quick"

But it was written very well nonetheless

The pacing was just right. Surprised how a gore story could be actually non disgusting but rather fun to read. :pinkiegasp:

I know it had a comedy tag but I didn't expect this to be actual worth re-reading just to make sure I read the story. Also lol on all the puns and the vore fetish comment.
Also this is the first story that I read that actually uses Fluttershy as a hardcore animal protector that does have some form of power in the story rather than just being a lame animal helper.

This Fluttershy was a motherfucking badass.:yay:

What is wrong with everyone killing off ponies its a fuking snake there are thousands born a year maybey 200 get killed yearly eventually they need to be killed to slow the pop.from growing to large for our own safety.

woooo, thats an angry comment section...

I hate fluttershy she is a lyer and a monstrosity.
the evidence she let it disappier. telling celestia lies and piss in her pants in case of punishment.
sending the wrong ponys to the moon which have no blame. only Luna taking her for her own business and for fluttershys.
and twilight die alone.

> must agree to lordofmyth

the content was the thing i didn't like.
the story is well written relating to the speech.

6306002 That's how you know the story is awesome.

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