//------------------------------// // #EatenAlive // Story: Eaten Alive // by Kaidan //------------------------------// “Hello, I’m Twilight Sparkle, Esquire. I’m a biologist and Royal Princess of Friendship. Today we’re going to be going out into the uncharted depths of the floating Everfree.” Twilight turned to face the second camera, which Applejack quickly turned on. “I’ve got my team of researchers with me, as well as my marefriend, as we go out to make the scientific discovery of a lifetime.” Twilight turned to Rarity, and the camera panned left. “Yes, I’ve designed a simply marvelous snake-proof suit. After our successful test today, I’ll be releasing a new line of snake-proof suits that are chic, unique, and—” “Stick to the script, Rarity,” Dash blurted. “Ahem... “ Rarity shot Dash a nasty look, then glanced at a notecard held off-camera and began reading in a rather monotone voice. “The suit is rated to withstand over seven-hundred p.s.i. of crush force along the radial axis with tungsten-carbon reinforced anti-acid plates… Really, Dash? You think anyone is tuning into this show for the specifications of my dress?” Twilight swiveled the camera to face herself. “Yes… as you can see my team is very excited to head out into the Everfree in search of a giant anaconda. You see, when I was but a filly, I traveled out into the Everfree and found a sixty-foot anaconda. I made my best attempt to grab the snake with my friends, but it escaped… Ever since then, I’ve been obsessed with the one who got away. Today, I hope to find him and prove once and for all, that I’m not making this shit up.” The camera turned to face Rarity, who was now arguing with Applejack next to the snake-proof suit. “No, that is not superfluous. Diamond is the hardest material available and makes the face-plate crush-proof.” “Ah ain’t talkin’ ‘bout the lens, Ah’m talkin’ ‘bout the sparkly glitter here.” Applejack pointed to the teflon-fiber that joins the helmet to the body of the suit. “Fine! If you don’t like it, lets see you make a snake proof suit.” “Maybe Ah will!” “Fine!” “Fine!” Dash sighed loudly from behind the camera as the two mares stomped off. “Hey, Twilight, we going to get this show on the road or what?” “Sure, Dash, turn the cameras off for now.” Fluttershy, Pinkie, and Dash quickly packed the cameras up. Soon they had doled out all the supplies into saddlebags. The six friends began their journey deeper into the Everfree. The plants around them had overgrown the area and blocked out nearly all sunlight. As they went deeper and deeper, the ground began to get soggy. Some of the bushes seemed to float in the air from their thin, gnarled roots. It soon became apparent they’d need the inflatable raft they had brought with them, just to carry the heavy supplies. The muck was getting flank-deep and the ponies could easily sink into it. There were also thick patches of floating grass. “Alright, Dash, turn the camera on. We’re going to pretend there’s an anaconda underwater where it’s all blurry,” Twilight said. “What? Isn’t that sorta, you know, wrong?” Dash asked. “Yeah, Ah ain’t out here to lie for the Dischoovery Channel,” Applejack added. “What?” Twilight shook her head. “It’s not lying, it’s far too dangerous to actually wrestle a sixty-foot anaconda underwater. Plus, there are crocodiles, poisonous frogs, manticores, and hydras! We just need a little footage to pad the documentary with.” “Fine.” Dash climbed onto the raft they had inflated and got a camera ready. Soon, everypony but Twilight had climbed into it and floated it out over a patch of floating grass. Twilight had used her wings to fly over to the patch of grass and stomp across it, flattening it out. “Alright, Fluttershy, you use the underwater camera. Dash, keep the focus on Twilight, Rarity…” Pinkie turned to find the fashionista picking muck out of her hooves. “You keep doing that and… Applejack! You hold the cue cards!” “Fine, if Ah have t—” “Action!” Pinkie shouted. Twilight swam out towards the floating grass. “You can see here we’re in the anaconda’s natural habitat because this grass has been flattened. Clearly from the amount of flattening we’re looking at a thirty or forty—wait, there it is! I’m going in after it!” She dove into the water, vanishing underneath into the silt-filled liquid. “Twilight! Be careful!” Dash shouted. She zoomed the camera in on the air bubbles coming up from the depths. Fluttershy swirled the camera around underwater, getting several excellent shots of coffee-colored water and an occasional flash of purple. A minute later, Twilight came up gasping for air. “I… I found… it.” She took a moment to climb back onto the patch of grass to dry her wings. “It was a good eighty feet long, I couldn’t even wrap my hooves around it! It brushed past me and I knew right then, if it wanted to eat me I’d be dead! But, I had to measure it for science and to save the rainforest! It was headed that way, let’s go!” She pointed into the distance and waited a few seconds holding that pose. “Cut!” Pinkie shouted. “That’s a wrap, into the boat, girls!” Twilight spit out some muck and used her magic to thoroughly disinfect her face. “Bleh, it tastes like gym socks down there.” “Good work, Twilight…” Fluttershy chewed her lip nervously. “But, if we do find a snake… you’re certain you won’t hurt it, right?” Twilight shrugged. “It’s just a snake, and this science will benefit all of ponykind! Besides, you don’t really think it’s just gonna spit me up after it swallows me? You’ll probably have to cut me out.” “Oh no! Nopony mentioned hurting Mr. Snake,” Fluttershy objected. “Oh, I mean… uh, it’ll spit me out. I’ll use my magic!” Twilight added. Rarity glanced at the alicorn sitting next to her, whispering softly. “But you told me the suit was too thick and dampened your magic.” “Shh, we don’t want to upset Fluttershy, she’s part of PETA, remember?” Twilight asked. “Oh, yes, of course darling.” She gave Twilight a quick kiss, then helped straighten her mane. “But do be careful, love.” “I wouldn’t be doing this if it were dangerous. It’s just a little staged experiment for science, and T.V. ratings. Celestia would be really upset if there was no shark week this year because Dischoovery ran out of funding.” “I suppose we can’t let that happen. Last time Shark Week was cancelled, Celestia let the changelings invade for her own personal amusement.” “Yeah, imagine if everypony knew—” Twilight froze and looked at Dash, who was still filming. “Dash! Is that thing on?!” “Yeah, why, was it not supposed to be?” Dash asked. “Seriously?! We’ll just edit that bit about Celestia out later…” Applejack flipped through the cue cards in her lap. “Twilight, Ah got like a hundred of these things. Y’all really gonna film two hours of huntin’ for a snake?” “Of course. We want the viewer to take the journey with us,” Rarity replied. “It’s called the art of television, not that a farm pony with a black and white T.V. would know that.” “Ya keep runnin’ yer mouth and I’ll feed ya to a snake without the suit on,” Applejack said. “Girls!” Twilight shouted. She sighed. It was exhausting being the Princess of Friendship. Sometimes she felt like without herself around, these five ponies would be mortal enemies and not friends. Luckily, it was nothing the Magic of Friendship™ couldn’t fix. Literally. Twilight had been casting a spell on them all daily ever since Nightmare Moon escaped to ensure they remained friends. “Oh, look!” Pinkie pointed at a large patch of floating grass, next to several trees and some dry land. There was a dark shape slithering off into the sun to warm up. “It’s a bird! It’s a plane! No, it’s a super-awesome snake!” Twilight rubbed her head as she felt a headache coming on. “We’re surrounded by morons, Rarity.” “Shhh,” Rarity cooed. “After we finish filming this special, I’ll do that thing with my horn you like.” She blushed a crimson red and had to cross her legs. “Um…. okay…” Twilight gulped and smiled, trying to keep her cool. “Well, Ah reckon we better get ya into the suit and track that snake down,” Applejack stated. “I bet I could wrestle that snake all by myself,” Dash said. “That doesn’t seem like a good idea… maybe I can just stare at it?” Fluttershy asked. Twilight waved a hoof dismissively. “Do it however you want. Set up base camp here and get some footage of the equipment, and of me putting the suit on.” Everypony got out of the raft onto dry land and began setting the equipment up. Fluttershy put the two-way microphone and speaker on a small folding card table. Pinkie set her radio next to it, in case they wanted to listen to some classic Hoof ‘n Roll. Applejack and Dash began to argue over the best way to capture the snake, leaving Rarity to film Twilight putting the suit on. “Okay, first I put on this spandex body-suit.” Twilight was already putting her last hoof in and using her magic to pull it over her body. “It’ll help insulate me from the acid. In laboratory tests, we couldn’t find any material that lasts indefinitely against a snake’s stomach acid, but this will give me plenty of time to be pulled back out.” She began to clip the leg and hoof guards on, and sighed. “Well, these hoof-guards have got to go, I need to be able to use my hooves.” She kicked them aside, leaving her hooves free of the spandex to be used for whatever it is a pony uses hooves for while being eaten alive. “There, I’ll keep these leg guards on since I don’t want the snake to snap my legs like twigs. That would be mildly unpleasant.” Twilight began pulling on the body armor, which had an awkward design. It took Rarity’s help as they filmed to guide Twilight’s tail into the acid-resistant pouch. Rarity insisted Twilight not let her tail get damaged. Had Rarity done her research, she’d have known hair and hooves are the only two things not absorbed by a snake’s stomach acid. “So, the torso buckles down over my chest. We’ve got sensors here to detect how strong the snake’s crushing force is. There are cases of snakes squeezing prey so hard that their heart explodes. If your heart explodes, you’re gonna have a bad time.” Twilight double-checked everything and only had the last two parts to go, her neck guard and helmet. She put the neck guard on first. “All right, this’ll prevent any traumatic cervical amputation. Last is the helmet. Once I put it on, the cables running down my back will go to the base camp. They will provide oxygen and communication from the outside. The helmet itself completely insulates and protects my sensitive horn, eyes, ears, nose, and mouth. For my own safety, the material had to be made thick enough that my horn could not be snapped off. As a result, it is so thick I can’t use my magic.” Rarity nodded, hovering the helmet over her head for her. “Ready, darling?” “Yes, my love… I’m doing this for us, for science, for Dischoovery!” Twilight smiled as the helmet was put on and buckled into place. Twilight stood there looking like a purple storm-trooper from a cheap Sy-Fy channel rip-off. There was a click as she spoke and the mic turned on, but Rarity couldn’t hear it. “Oh, one second.” Rarity ran back to the base camp where Fluttershy sat, monitoring communications. “Turn it on, Fluttershy.” “Oh, of course.” She pressed the button and Twilight’s voice came through. “—systems seem nominal. It’s a bit restrictive, but I feel pretty good.” Twilight said. Rarity pushed the button to speak back to her. “Good, we’re all set here. We’re just waiting on the snake.” Applejack could be heard in the distance hollering. Soon Pinkie, Dash, and Applejack came through the bushes dragging a sixty-foot anaconda between the three of them. “Well, shit… remind me never to get on Pinkie’s bad side,” Dash said. “Yeah, Ah think she beat us both at snake wrestlin’,” Applejack added. Pinkie Pie laughed. “Oh girls, it’s easy when I remember the way Granny Pie taught me in song!” Fluttershy rushed over to check on the snake’s health, but so far the snake looked fine. It seemed to be confused and disoriented, no doubt due to something Pinkie had done, but it seemed healthy. “All right…” Twilight said, her voice being emitted from the speaker. “I’m going to discount that as Pinkie being Pinkie, but next time we better get that on tape.” Fluttershy hovered over the snake, having a conversation with it. “Yes, it’ll be fine… you just need to eat our friend over there and you’re free to go.” The snake flicked its tongue and looked at the armored purple monstrosity in confusion. “Oh, don’t worry I won’t let anypony hurt you, especially these three hooligans.” She gestured to Dash, Applejack, and Pinkie, who had somehow over-powered a sixty-foot anaconda for reasons not bearing going into at this time. “I’m ready to begin,” Twilight said. She pulled out a bucket of pig's blood and poured it all over herself. On the side of the bucket was a logo for Apple Family Farm’s. Fluttershy caught a glimpse of this and gasped. “Where did you get that?” “Ah, uh… got it from the pigs on our farm,” Applejack said. “But, only from the… uh… ones that died of natural causes in their sleep last night!” She glared at Applejack. “For your sake, I hope you’re not lying.” “Come on, now.” Applejack put her front hooves in the air. “Ah’m the Element of Honesty, Ah never lie!” “Get the cameras on,” Twilight ordered. Dash and Applejack ran to the tripods and got the cameras set up about five feet apart and pointed at Twilight and the snake. Nearby Twilight’s life support lines ran back to the tent, where Pinkie and Fluttershy sat to monitor communications. Rarity was trotting around at a distance worrying about her waifu being in the belly of a snake. “Alright. I’m approaching the snake to trigger it’s… uh… prey instinct.” Twilight walked up slowly on the snake, who was curled up defensively. “As you can see it’s at least ninety feet long—” “Sixty,” Fluttershy corrected. “Gah, we’ve got to embellish a little?” Twilight asked. There was no reply. “Fine, sixty feet long. With the pig’s blood on me it’ll think I smell like a pig that rolled around in another pig’s blood.” The snake slowly flicked its tongue and watched curiously as the purple armored war-pony approached it. “Now the first instinct of the snake will be to latch on, then coil around me and crush me to a bloody pulp. Luckily, this suit—which is available on Mare-Bay for $599.99 plus shipping and hoofing—is snake-proof.” The snake didn’t move. Twilight looked down at it. “Uh, yes, any second now…” She kicked it in the side, which seemed to only mildly annoy the snake. “It could weigh over a ton at this size…” She kicked it in the nose. Upset, the snake bit her leg and yanked Twilight face-first into the mud. “Unf!” She squirmed, but the snake was quickly wrapping its coils around her. “Yes,” Twilight said. “The snake…. is curling… around me…” “Oh Celestia!” Rarity raced to the microphone. “Are you okay?! Do we need to call it off?! Just say the word and I’ll save you!” “Fine… just… trying to struggle… but the snake… is so heavy…” Twilight kicked her hind legs uselessly as the snake compressed her forelegs to her chest. “Hmm,” Dash looked at the cue cards on the ground next to them. “Says here the snake has razor sharp teeth, and hunts by smell and infrared.” “Ah reckon’ the narrator is gonna read those, not like Twilight can.” Applejack answered. “I could be the narrator and do it in ten seconds flat.” “Like heck you could, Ah’m the narrator. Ah’ve got that creamy deep voice that lets viewers know it’s all gonna be alright!” Twilight watched as the snake’s head came into view. The coils had tightened so hard that the snake-proof suit was bending inward, making it hard to breathe. “It’s… about to eat me…” She knew she had to do this, for science. There had to be proof a snake could eat a pony and that the pony could come out alive. As she thought about it, she considered being a giant pussy and using the safeword, but thought better of it. She was Twilight Sparkle, Esquire. She had never failed a test from Celestia before. She would be eaten by this motherfucking snake in the motherfucking floating-plains of the Everfree. “Beginning… to open… jaw.” Twilight heard gurgling and bubbling sounds as the snake’s jaw opened wide. The bones of the snake’s mouth has dislocated so it could spread even wider. Dash picked up one of the cue cards. “Watch and learn.” She cleared her throat. “The emerald anaconda of the Everfree does not have venom. Instead, it has razor sharp teeth which can slice through bone. It only uses these to latch onto prey, it then coils around them and constricts until breathing stops…” Applejack laughed. “Ya sound like Justin Mareber.” “Oh, and you’re Maregan Freemare?” Dash rolled her eyes and laughed, neither one paying much attention to the cameras at this point. Luckily, the cameras were pointed at the snake so it’s not like they’d royally fucked it up. Yet. Twilight felt the coils around her body squeezing her like a zit on the tip of a mare’s nose on prom night. Were it not for the fancy suit, Twilight would be a white stain on a mirror, a putrid ooze spraying from the sore, red mess of flesh that used to be a hardly-noticeable spot on the tip of the prom night mare’s nose. “Feeling… mouth go over… helmet.” Twilight was sweating and breathing quickly. It was for science, but being eaten by a snake was still scary. “Is that her heart rate?” Rarity asked, pointing at the number 180 on the display next to her. “Nope! That’s my favorite radio station,” Pinkie stated. “Mare FM 91.80” She turned a knob on her radio and Hoof ‘n Roll began to play. “Oh, my favorite! Blue Christmare by Elvis Prestallion!” “Um, can you cut it out with the puns now… if that’s okay with you?” Fluttershy asked. “Pfft, Fluttershy you are so cute when you don’t make sense!” Pinkie responded. “Twilight!” Rarity called into the microphone. “Are you okay? Do we need to get you out?!” “I’m… doing good…” Twilight felt the helmet being tugged forward, now fully inside the snake’s throat. The jaws were slowly inching along the armored plating and made it past her shoulders. “First… documented incident… of a snake… making it past the shoulders.” “Fine, AJ, then read this cue card without that damn accent!” Dash shouted. “Oh yeah?! Maybe Ah will!” Applejack cleared her throat, putting on her best Manehatten accent. “The shoulders are, like, the widest part of a pony. If the snake can eat that, yo, it can swallow the whole pony.” Dash fell to the ground laughing loud enough that Pinkie couldn’t hear her music, so she turned it up. It took Dash a full minute to calm down. “What the hell was that?!” She continued laughing at Applejack, who was red as an apple. “Well Ah like mah accent!” Applejack huffed and stomped her hoof. “Ya better stop laughin’ or Ah’ll put this hoof up your plot!” Twilight felt the constriction worsening, the bones of her exposed-hooves threatening to break. She regretted not wearing the entire snake-proof suit. Apparently, once one removes one-fourth of the snake-proof suit, it is only seventy-five percent snake-proof. “Girls… it’s… squeezing my leg… it hurts…” “Oh no,” Rarity replied. “Pinkie! Get my fainting chair! Fluttershy, get ready to pull her out of there!” Pinkie saluted. “I’m on it!” She raced over to the boat looking for the fainting chair. When she couldn’t find it, she dove into the mucky water and began to swim back to a cave in the Everfree. Pinkie Pie had fainting chairs stashed all over the Everfree in case of fainting chair emergency. Rarity, who could wait no longer to faint from this tiny setback, collapsed in the mud. She was acting unconscious now, because she’s a drama-queen. Unfortunately, she hit her head on a rock, so she wasn’t faking this time. Fluttershy, however, assumed she was just being a drama-queen and faking, and ignored her. Twilight was panicking now as the bones in her hooves, and the hooves themselves, were bending and threatening to break. “Fluttershy… get me… out… get the… knife!... the knife!” Fluttershy gasped, an angry expression plastered on her face. “A knife! You were gonna hurt the snake this whole time!” “Please… knife…. get me… out…” She huffed angrily as she weighed her options. She either got the knife and helped Twilight hurt a defenseless animal that had been minding its own business… or she did not. Maybe it would teach Twilight a lesson, and they could still ask the snake nicely to vomit her up afterwards. “I think it’s time you learned a lesson.” Fluttershy pressed the button on the microphone, disabling communications. “Flutt…. Fluttershy?!” Twilight could feel the compression getting worse on her forelegs and hindlegs. The snake’s mouth was just now passing over the middle of her stomach. With a loud crack, her forelegs shattered. The splintered bone dug through her flesh like knives, driven forward by six-hundred p.s.i. of snake muscle contracting her. Twilight let out a blood curdling scream as this happened, flailing madly. The snake, sensing that its prey was not dead from this sudden struggling, tightened its grip further. Both hind legs snapped, the femurs separating from hip and the jagged bones slicing through the spandex portion of the suit. Twilight continued to scream as the snake’s mouth closed over her flanks. She was being swallowed faster and faster as her resistance faded. “Shut yer mouth!” Applejack screamed. “Ya call me that one more—” “Inbred redneck! I bet you bucked Big Mac and that’s where Apple Bloom cam—” Applejack dove forward, bloodlust in her eyes. If only Twilight were here to renew the Magic of Friendship on them. Unfortunately, she was not. Applejack landed on Dash and shoved her head deep into the mud. Dash gasped, struggling as mud closed in over her head and she couldn’t see or breathe. She kicked out hard, scoring several blows against Applejack’s tits and ass before the farm pony finally let go. She clawed her way out of the mud, wings flared, and leapt at Applejack. The two tumbled into the water where they continued to wrestle. Fluttershy was blushing and doing naughty things with her hooves under the table. It was a little known fact that all members of PETA had beastiality and vore fetishes. That’s not to say there is anything wrong with those fetishes, it’s just to say that PETA is so fucked up they only protect animals from others so they can be the ones to pound the animal in the ass. Twilight sobbed and cried, not having enough air to scream, as her body was tightly and evenly compressed by the snake’s throat. She couldn’t feel the air on her exposed skin anymore. “Help…” She continued to plead softly into the microphone. From her front-row seat to the inside of a snake, she saw the pink slimy walls opening in front of her. A little light penetrated the snake’s thick muscles, just enough for her to see faint shapes. A sphincter opened up and Twilight went inside. She recognized this must be the stomach, and it contracted around her, squeezing her from every side. Her hooves burned in the acid, and she regretted not wearing the entire fucking snake-proof suit. Fluttershy watched the snake, now with a bulge half-way down its length that was her friend, Twilight Sparkle “Let’s stab helpless snakes with knives” Esquire. The snake was grinding its teeth on the life support cords running inside to Twilight. It only took a minute, but the razor sharp teeth severed the air hose, the electrical wires, and the thin layer of teflon coating meant to protect them from razor-sharp teeth. The snake slithered towards the water, vanishing into the twenty-foot deep coffee-colored muddy water, never to be seen again. It would likely find a sunny spot deep in the forest to bask and digest its prize. Fluttershy turned to the others. Rarity was bleeding from the head, and Fluttershy realized she was passed out for real for once. Applejack was crawling out of the water, Rainbow Dash nowhere in sight. Pinkie Pie was… well, nopony really knows where she is on a good day. Applejack stumbled over to Fluttershy. “Cut.” She panted heavily, glancing around. “Wait, where’s Twilight?” Twilight twitched as she felt the acid seeping through the protective suit. Her vision was blurry and she was light-headed from lack of air. She was so cold, her body in shock from blood loss. The snake had come up to bathe in the sun, she could tell from the faint pink glow reaching her eyes. Her magic continued to sputter ineffectively. Stomach acid dripped through her helmet, burning her nose as she breathed and her eyes when she opened them. As the snake slithered, her broken bones were ground against each other renewing her agony. For the first time in her life, Twilight wished she’d never discovered the Magic of Friendship. Her “friends” could kiss her ass. Celestia sat on her throne, eyes closed, kneading her temples with her hooves. Everypony in the royal court was totally silent. Even a hungry foal with a dirty diaper in the back row knew better than to cry out loud when Celestia was in this mood. “So, what you’re telling me is this…. You went out with Twilight to film my documentary…” Celestia didn’t even look up at the ponies before her. “Yes, Ma’am,” Applejack replied. “You let her take off the hoof guards, thus breaking the acid-proof seal of her suit.” “Ahuh!” Pinkie added. “You fed her to a snake.” “Right again,” Applejack said. “Got into an argument instead of keeping an eye on her.” “Yep.” Pinkie chirped. “Murdered Rainbow Dash by drowning her in muddy water.” Applejack frowned, looking ashamed. “Yes, Ma’am.” “While Rarity bled to death and died of a concussion.” “It was horrible… I mean, I flew for help…” Fluttershy gave Luna enormous puppy dog eyes, pleading with her for mercy. “While Pinkie…. well, who in Tartarus ever knows where the fuck she is?” “Yep, sounds right!” Pinkie answered. “And my prized pupil was dragged off in a snake’s belly to be digested and die alone.” “Yes, Ma’am.” Celestia still couldn’t believe what she was hearing. For her pupil to be so foolish as to not make sure the Magic of Friendship spell was recast before putting the snake proof suit on. Perhaps Twilight wasn’t as smart as Celestia had always thought. Still, she had invested countless centuries breeding a genetically perfect princess to combat Nightmare Moon, Discord, Sombra, Chrysalis, and Tirek. It really pissed Celestia off these imbeciles had ruined everything. Shark Week would be cancelled for sure now. “To the moon!” Celestia screamed. Her eyes began to glow and an aura surrounded the three surviving ponies: Fluttershy, Applejack, and Pinkie Pie. “Wait, Sister…” Luna stepped forward, and Celestia halted the spell for now. “Speak, Luna.” “We shall… take Fluttershy as a slave and punish her ourselves.” “Very well.” Celestia finished casting the spell as Applejack and Pinkie Pie screamed in agony. Seconds later, they were on the surface of the moon, suffocating to death as their eyes popped out of their sockets. Unfortunately, neither of them had magic to help them breathe. Luna smirked and teleported Fluttershy and herself to her bed chambers. Laid out on Luna’s bed were a variety of straps, ball gags, whips, and other sexually deviant toys. “Thank you, Luna, for saving me,” Fluttershy said. “Oh, I could never let anything happen to my one true love…” Luna replied. “Good. Now, on your knees.” Fluttershy picked up the whip and cracked it against Luna’s ass. “Yes, Mistress Fluttershy.” The end?