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A land of "ponies" - some of them have wings, others have horns, and their two rulers control the moon and the sun... what a ridiculous legend! But the king sent his best sailor to find it. And, when her ship really did, it was up to her and her crew to find as much about this strange land as possible... Experience a journey through a mysterious land called Equestria!
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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you had me at Giraffes I like to see how ponies react towards new races
Loving the concept, following now.
I have to ask how tall are the giraffes and okapis compared to the ponies?
Like the concept, I can't wait to see what is going to happen next.
You did a good job so far in English. It made it sound like they were reporting.
Good luck in the future
Thank you so much for your feedback, guys, I really appreciate it. About the height of giraffes and okapis in comparsion to ponies - don't worry, that's going to be adressed right in the next chapter. :) Which should be up this weekend at the latest.
so much potential
, please continue
Yes, I've been thinking about giraffes for a story. Nice to see world building with them.
While your English is certainly decent, I could spot a lot of little mistakes that mess up the flow of reading. Very interesting idea, I'd recommend finding an editor to help smooth out the writing, but other than that, wonderful start.
oh my god this is fantastic. Seriously I cannot wait for the next chapter :D
Why did the giraffes think it was a good idea to insult the princesses about the incidents with the Sun and Moon. Not a wise thing to do.
5266430 Well, Sea Sail apologized and said this will probably sound rude. Giraffes were just really scared during each such event. Really, you wouldn't be, if things like that were happening and you wouldn't know why? So, when they learned that princesses really control sun and moon, they really wanted to know the answers.
I am really enjoying the story. Please keep it up.
More please
Good and charming story :)
Can't wait to see more!
I have a similar story like this one. Except it's about the Nagas and it's kinda inspire from story of Pocahontas 1995 more.
Such a novel and interesting idea
.
I wonder if they will see Zecora.
Hello, everypony. I am sorry it took so freaking long, but I have a great news. I've just finally finished writing a new chapter! And boy, a lot actually happens in it. It still needs to get through proofreading, but it should be posted during this week. I am very sorry for all the delay, I am afraid I can't really explain it rationally. I had a lot of school stuff there, but that's no excuse. In fact, I was kinda procrastinating it. A lot. Because the tone of the story changes quite a bit here and I was afraid you won't like it. But, it needs to be done. This is how I want this story to go. This is "Adventurous" fimfiction after all. Honestly, I am still afraid, but I sicerely hope you will like it in the end. So, stay tuned, the ride shall begin shortly.
There is a recurring problem where the quotes are... inverted? The quotes are backwards, and in some cases at the bottom of the character line instead of the top. I'm not sure what would cause it, but it's there.
I was just thinking about this story earlier today, and I am interested in seeing more, although this jumps into adventure pretty darn fast.
Apparently Okapi can cast unicorn magic, they probably just need to modify the spells a bit to accustom themselves to the differences in their magic or something.
5622332
I think I know the reason. The reason is: I am Czech. In the Czech language, the quotes are at the bottom of the line at the start of quote and at the top at the end of it. I don't want to switch keyboard to English mode, because I am used to Czech one and some keys are at different places so it would confuse me a lot. So I am just trying to be careful about this... but sometimes I quess it slips through.
Yes! Updated! Finally!
5605847
I have a lot of school stuffs to do as well. I didn't have time for my current story too.
Interesting twist this story has taken.
Any chance Ninki is a contemporary of Discord? Would be nice to see a throw-down between them. Perhaps chaos magic would have some effect where pony magic does not. Also, give Discord a second chance to prove himself after that little debacle with Tirek.
You're telling a better story in a second language than a lot of people tell in their first language. :-)
I think you mean guests.
I know you mentioned English wasn't your native language and found myself surprised by how similar the words sounded when looking at them from that perspective. Funny the sorts of things you can take for granted.
What an unexpected! The Zebras are slaves. I like this idea. Wonder what the Princesses will think of this.
Oh and I'm feel sorry for you that you got your ankle broken.
I've been following this fic for a while, but the writing just seems to get worse as it goes on, and the plot, while fairly promising at first, has veered into strange territory. Honestly, the worst sin this fic has is the absolute lack of anything resembling pacing or dialogue that actually sounds like sentient beings conversing.
I'll be giving this a downvote, one long deserved, to be honest.
5896936 I am very sorry to hear that. It's strange, really, but... I kind of expected somebody to be disapointed in the way this story took. But I feel like if it would continue just as "Giraffes look at Equestria and comment on stuff every brony knows" it would get boring very fast. Also, in the last chapter, I was trying to make dialogues better and let there be more interaction between characters. I am not an experienced writer and I am not a good writer, but I was trying to do my best. Thank you for reading my story and for feedback, which is always appreciated. I am planning to write other stories, too, maybe they will be better. :D
The image for this story is cringeworthy. Why does the giraffe have four ears?