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Quoth the raven: "CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW" (Patreon)


Cadance and Night Light share a pleasant conversation in a café. Everything somehow manages to get really weird, really fast.

Proofread by Octavia Harmony and Selbi.

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 236 )

Very deserving of the "random" tag

How did you manage to make everything so funny? I... I don't even!


That was funny an awesome at the same time. Great job. This was a story I would be happy to read it again.

This is both hilarious and disturbing.


And so, the story got another like.

“Well, in the best case scenario, I guess. I’m not going to lie: your child could be anything. Pony genes make absolutely no sense. The other day I helped give birth to a griffon, and his parents were a unicorn and a donkey, so there’s that.”

That is one messed up family.

This started weird and got weirder. But was very funny. Your borrowed the budding part from one of your blogs didn't you?

And hey, night light has a tag now!

What glorious nonsense is this that scars my eyeballs with wonder?

"...lives constantly surrounded by a harem made out of multiple clones of his insanely hot wife, and he will never get her pregnant unless he tries a lot and feels like having one, yes," Celestia said.

Shining Armor, for this incredible achievement you've earned a commemorative :moustache:.

*hoof bumps Shiny*

This story is the most hilarious thing I have ever read, hooves down.:rainbowlaugh::pinkiehappy: I love this. Your style of humour is fascinating.:yay:


Yep. This was supposed to be just a bunch of those short jokes I post on my blogs all together, but I ended up writing a completely new story that borrows one joke.

Glad at least one guy caught it!

Really? Well, why not read it? Happy birthday.

Should've given the waiter a Snickers.

5155698 I think that describes a lot of his stories.

In a good way, of course!

“And to be honest? Any self-respecting stallion should do the same. Love your life, love your family, and love your butt. That’s my motto!”
“I guess that explains why it’s written on your front door with glowing letters,” Cadance said.

“I’m going to be honest: that would be far more beautiful if it wasn’t by the fact that you named your son after your favorite sex toy.”

“Don’t worry!” one of the waiters said, carrying a sweeper, “don’t worry! The head of one of our waiters just exploded, it’s nothing to worry about! We’ll clean this mess immediately! Sorry for the inconvenience!”


“Huh. GrandchildrenGrandsons.”

Is this on purpose?

“Shining and I are thinking about it, and seeing how our nights go, the moment we make the final choice I’m getting so pregnant I’ll make all bunnies on Equestria jealous, because, hah, Shining sure knows how to sh—”


That’s why I prefer ‘Cadance’.” Cadance sighed.

This should probably be a comma.

"...We can leave Shining with the neighbours if you feel like we’re going to spend the night in there.”

This is superfluous.

“You’d be surprised at how much can a simple polite question do—”

This should be moved to between "question" and "do."

I recognized the "Alicorns are starfish" joke and the "Luna's bad Nightmare" joke. And the "exploding crystal ponies" joke I remember as well. Were they all from the same place, or is my memory faltering? Ah, well, it does not matter. This was pretty funny, most of your stuff is, except when it is not, this one was. I think I would like to see where this goes so I will like and favorite.


5156222 Dang. Apparently Aragon posted the thing without checking if all the corrections were resolved, thus causing the grandchildren abomination.

“Oh, it’s like being married to a cat: she ignores you, attacks you for no reason now and then, and whenever she wants to snuggle she tries to make it look like she was just in the same room as you by chance.”

Okay, that one was funny.

I cannot wait for the next chapter I laughed so hard at the SINGLE chapter! please write more

What the *bleep* was that. :rainbowhuh:

I liked it.

Beautiful! It was so wonderful that I cried. Mayonnaise tears.

You author person should know that what was written here is probably now head cannon. Feel Proud. :raritywink:

I... am not sure how to feel about this, though Shining Armor's name's origin is wonderfully bad.

I felt like the weakest part was the digression with Celestia and Twilight, while the strongest was the back and forthing between Night Light and Cadance, both being completely terrible about everything. :heart:

5156920 You have to understand that the digression was part of a blog that Aragon wrote that couldn't fit in a story by itself.

Yes, I noticed that it could not fit into a story by itself. But it did not fit into this story, either. :rainbowwild:


A typo?

As for the rest of the story, FREAKING AMAZING. The Dad Jokes, the randomness, the Patrick, it was all perfect.

5157445 Yup. The way Gdocs has the editing function shows up with both the correction I made, grandchildren, and the original text, grandsons. This is because Aragon never went through and accepted/rejected the edit.

This is one of the most awkward things I've ever read.

Think you flashbacked within flashbacks a few too many times. Felt like a bad episode of Family Guy... so pretty much any episode from the past five or so seasons.

Still, was funny. I love how you write Night Light.

I was laughing all the time while reading this... Dad jokes, dad jokes EVERYWHERE!!!

Aragon, you're probably one of my favourite, if not the favourite, purely comedic authors on the site.

I think you need a better editor though. Some scene breaks were missed, some grammar fell off the map - notably some quotation marks... Another run-through would do wonders.

Still, thanks for making me burst into staccato laughter at least five times over the course of reading this. Every setup was followed through, every punchline delivered with punctual panache, and just... starfish ponies.

That's unreasonably fantastic.

Inspired. Utterly inspired.

I have the unreasonable urge to give you my email address and a moxious, meaningful wink...

On the one hand, I'm not sure how I feel about Alicorns reproducing asexually like starfish.

On the other, Shining surrounded with a harem of clones of his wife.


Thanks for the kind words!

However, you need to understand that I wrote this one in a single afternoon, and forced the poor Octavia Harmony to proofread it as soon as possible because I wanted to post it before going away to celebrate my birthday. If this feels rushed in the editing, it's because it sadly is due to me being unable to wait one more day, and I have nobody to blame but me.

Still, glad you like it (and my works in general).

And hey, I'm free this Sunday. Wink, wink...


This was one of my worries while writing this -- being compared to Family Guy. Still, I never use flashbacks in a story, so I thought "why not?"

As long as it's funny...


One of the most awkward things I've ever written, too!


The story started as a short jokes compilation, from a couple blogs of mine that included (as Octavia Harmony says) jokes that I couldn't fit anywhere. It evolved from there, so I guess that's why some parts look like they don't fit that well.

The second chapter is (almost) completely original, tough, so that problem shouldn't be there.

Twilight inherrited her love of literature from her mother.
Shining got his father's hypnotic glutes.
I'm currently debating who got the better deal here.


Well, you know how it is.

Get sufficient book, and you can turn yourself into something as attractive as you'd like.

Get sufficient glute, and you can marry into an arbitrarily large library and subordinates who'll read it on your behalf.

Bit swings and roundabouts, really.

You know, this world often says this: fuck logic :pinkiecrazy:
And we oh so love this world for that :derpytongue2:

“Well, in the best case scenario, I guess. I’m not going to lie: your child could be anything. Pony genes make absolutely no sense. The other day I helped give birth to a griffon, and his parents were a unicorn and a donkey, so there’s that.”

That's not Pony genetics, that's a Unicorn (presumably the mare in this couple) getting some griffon on the side.:raritywink:

I liked this story. Have a Like.

Oh, my lord. Bravo, bravo! This story was definitely worth the read, I loved it. And the author's note at the end had me in tears. Great job! :yay:

Comment posted by Cloud Hop deleted Oct 19th, 2014

Holy crap, this was amazing. I love all the random silliness and even the pacing was nice. Excellent job.


I don't know, I felt it fit the overall tone. The jarring perspective and story shift and then just getting dropped for more Pink Horse Empress and Mister Dad shenanigans contributed to the confusion and humorous nature that makes this a great story.


Which one of them is getting laid?


That was so funny it hurt.

“I’m going to be honest: that would be far more beautiful if it wasn’t by the fact that you named your son after your favorite sex toy.”
“And judging by how you speak about your daily life, naming my son after a sex toy was so spot-on that it actually scares me,” Night Light said.


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