“Um… Mister Night Light?” Cadance put down her teacup and looked at her father-in-law. They were in a place called the Crystal Café, because crystal ponies had exactly the amount of imagination one would expect from a bunch of walking, translucent rocks. At least the drinks were fine. “Can I ask you a question?”
“You just did!” Night Light replied, smiling. “But you can ask me another one anyway, if you want.”
Cadance smiled back and took a peek around. The Crystal Café was almost completely full, the sound of ponies talking and ordering drinks creating a cozy atmosphere that also happened to be loud as heck. Perfect for a private talk. “I’m going to be honest,” she said, looking back at Night Light, “I asked you to take a walk with me for a reason.”
Night Light arched an eyebrow. “Really?”
“Yes.” She sighed. “I think of you as a father, Mister Night Light, and—”
“Oh, you do?” Night Light beamed. “That’s amazing! No need to call me Mister Night Light then! I can go by Mister Dad if you want.”
Silence.
“…That would be unnecessarily creepy, so no, thanks.”
“Well, it was worth a try.”
Cadance waved a hoof. “The thing is, well, being a princess makes it surprisingly hard to ask for advice. Or for anything, really. They always think I’m being rhetorical and wise like my aunt, and after a thousand years of slavery my subjects are not really good with existential crises.”
Night Light frowned. “Huh. That explains the waiter’s behavior five minutes ago.”
“Oh, hello, Princess! And companion, of course.” He nodded at Night Light. “It’s always an honor to have you here!”
“Hahah. Yeah.” Night Light grinned. “I’m pretty awesome.”
The waiter nodded. “What would you like to drink?”
“Hmmm…” Cadance frowned and tapped her chin twice. “Do you have tea?”
Silence. Then the waiter became wide–eyed. “Do we? Can we have tea? Can a pony truly have anything?! OR IS IT ALL A LIE WE TELL TO OURSELVES TO ESCAPE FROM THE ABSURD REALITY OF OUR LIVES?! WE HAVE NO CONTROL OVER ANYTHING AND ONE DAY WE WILL BE ALL DEAD!”
“I just wanted to know if you serve tea, or—”
“I’M NOT READY TO DIE YET! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA—”
Night Light squinted. “I wonder where he went,” he said. “Fella was fast.”
“He probably ran back home to stare at the mirror and cry whimsically for a couple hours,” Cadance said. “They always do that.”
“You should ask them not to,” Night Light said. “I’m pretty sure it would work.”
“Ask them not to what, exactly?”
“To stop having existential crisis every time you ask them something.” Night Light smiled. “I’m sure it will work!”
“I think their heads will explode, rather.”
“Only one way to find out!”
Cadance rolled her eyes. “Anyway,” she said, “I need some advice, and I think you’re an excellent role model, so…”
“Of course! Say whatever you want!” Night Light winked at her. “I’m at your disposal!”
Cadance chuckled. “I’m glad!”
“So, what did you want to ask?”
“Well…” Cadance frowned. “I guess both you and Twilight Velvet know that Shining and I are thinking about having a foal, right?”
Silence.
Night Light blinked. “Oh my. Really?”
“Well, yes. We’re already married, after all.”
“Huh. Grandchildren.” Night Light took a sip of his tea. “That would make me a grandfather. It’s… Well, I’ll be incredibly happy for you, I guess!”
Cadance smiled. “Thanks.”
“Will the foal call me Mister Granddaddy?”
“…No.”
“Worth a try. So!” Night Light clapped twice. “A child! Those are great news! Have you told anypony else? Or I’m the first one?”
Cadance licked her lips. “I tried to tell Twilight,” she said.
“Hey, Twilight! I need to tell you something!”
“Does that something have anything to do with you having sex with my brother?”
“Yes.”
“Okay, not listening.”
“Well, to be honest, you are a little bit monothematic, Cadance.” Night Light shook his head. “I guess it helps avoiding awkward silences, but I have to say that Velvet’s birthday dinner was a little bit uncomfortable this year.”
“Ah.” Cadance blinked. “Talking about Twilight and her inexplicable lack of will to hear me talk about my extremely traumatizing intimate stories with her brother—where is she?” She took another sip of her tea. “Velvet said she couldn’t come, but you never really explained why.”
“We don’t really know the reason,” Night Light said, shrugging. “Princess Celestia sent her a letter while Twilight was staying with us. Apparently the princess is very busy, and she had to talk with Twily as soon as possible. It was now or never.”
“Oh, so she’s staying with my aunt?” Cadance frowned. “Wow. I wonder what they’ll talk about.”
“Twilight,” Princess Celestia said the moment Twilight opened the door to her chambers, a warm smile on her face, “I’m glad you could come today. I’m really sorry you had to postpone your visit to the Crystal Empire for this. I know you wanted to see your sister-in-law again.” She lowered her head. “I hope you can forgive me.”
“Oh, no, no, you don’t need to worry, Princess!” Twilight ran towards Celestia and gave her that awkward kind of wing-hug that always seemed to be too intimate or way not intimate enough, depending on the situation. “It’s no big deal, it’s only Cadance! Whatever you have to say, no matter how trivial, is far more important.”
Cadance blinked. “Oh. Weird.”
Night Light frowned. “What’s the matter?”
“I don’t know, but for some reason I feel extremely insulted right now.”
“I’m glad you think that way, Twilight,” Celestia said, letting her go. “I too think this is more important than anything Cadance has to offer, if you excuse my boldness.”
“No, seriously. Offendedness levels through the roof here.”
“What’s happening, Princess? Why did you call me here today?” Twilight frowned a little. “Is anything threatening Equestria again? It’s been a while since that happened.”
“Twilight, it’s been less than two weeks.”
“Which means the next threat is running thirteen days late.” Twilight squinted. “We can’t let our guard down.”
Celestia sighed. “Worry not, Twilight. There’s no threat towards Equestria.”
“Yet.”
“Yet,” Celestia said, nodding. “No, this is a conversation about you, and about what it means to be a princess as well.”
Twilight blinked. “Oh,” she muttered. “I see.”
“I thought it was about time we had this discussion,” Celestia said, looking at the window. “Cadance is the one who gave me the idea, actually.”
“She did?” Twilight asked, cocking her head to the left. “How so?”
“She spent three hours talking about how she was going to have sex with your brother in the most detailed and traumatizing way possible.”
Twilight blinked, then slowly smacked her own forehead. “Yes, she does that a lot.”
“And after hearing that, I immediately knew I had to talk to you,” Celestia said.
Silence.
“Wait,” Twilight said, “are you going to talk about having sex with my brother too, Princess? Because if that’s the case I would prefer to skip the conversation entirely.”
Celestia shook her head. “I swear I won’t mention your brother’s nether regions at all, Twilight.”
“Dear heavens, that’s the most reassuring thing I’ve heard in ages,” Twilight said, sighing. “Having a sister-in-law that bears the title of Princess of Love is way tougher than expected.”
Celestia smiled. “I know.”
“Well, I guess she’s your niece after all,” Twilight said, “but being in my position—”
“Twilight,” Celestia interrupted, raising a hoof, “believe me: I know.”
"Good morning, Luna," Celestia said with a smile when her sister opened the door. "How was your night?"
"Ugh, horrible." Luna shook her head. "I had the worst nightmare ever."
Celestia blinked. "Really?"
"Yes. We need better prostitutes, sister."
“Sisterhood is way harder to bear than what I thought at first,” Celestia said. “I can’t put into words how happy I am Luna is back with us, but now and then I remember why I sent her to the moon in the first place.”
“Because she wanted to kill everypony?”
“…Let’s go with that, yes.” Celestia shook her head. “However, we’re not here to talk about our siblings’ uncomfortably public and detailed intimate life, but about you. More specifically, about your leg.”
Silence.
Twilight blinked. “My leg?”
“Your leg.” Celestia pointed at Twilight's front left leg. "That one. It will probably fall off in a month or so."
Silence.
"What?!"
Celestia smiled. "But don't worry, Twilight; it will grow back."
Twilight frowned and looked at her leg. “…It will?" she said.
Celestia nodded. "Of course. And the leg will grow a new Twilight."
Silence.
"What?!"
"Asexual reproduction," Celestia said, that warm smile of hers still on her face. "I'm pretty sure you know how it works. You'll get a new you!"
Twilight made the exact same face one would make after discovering a leg can grow a new you. It’s not a situation that allows many comparisons. "You... you're being serious?!"
"Of course."
"You mean I'm like some sort of...” Twilight blinked. “I'm a starfish pony?!"
"What?" Celestia frowned. "Well, not really. You have almost nothing to do with ponies anymore. You're a pony-shaped starfish, rather." She nodded. "It's not the same."
"But...! Do you mean this happens to you too, or...?"
"Hmm?" Celestia nodded again. "Yes. Just make sure to drop the leg in a pit of acid or something and it will do the job." She shrugged. "Or, well, you can keep it, it's your choice. Cadance's live in her castle, for example. Luna likes to force hers to fight each other to see who becomes the alpha. It's about choices."
Twilight didn't say anything. She just stood there, staring at Celestia in disbelief.
"You can still reproduce the pony way, of course, but it will take you a lot of tries," Celestia continued. "And only if both you and your partner really want it. You know, magic and whatnot."
Silence.
"That's... That's a lot to take in," Twilight said. "And... You said that Cadance has to go through this too? That means Shining Armor..."
"...lives constantly surrounded by a harem made out of multiple clones of his insanely hot wife, and he will never get her pregnant unless he tries a lot and feels like having one, yes," Celestia said.
Night Light’s ears perked up. “Huh,” he said. “That’s rare.”
“What’s the matter?” Cadance asked. “You’re feeling insulted too?”
“No.” Night Light frowned. “But for some reason, I really feel like hoof bumping my son right now.”
“That’s weird indeed.”
“Anyway, we got sidetracked,” Night Light said, taking another sip of his tea. “You said you want children, and you want to ask me for advice?”
“Yes,” Cadance said, nodding. “Shining and I are thinking about it, and seeing how our nights go, the moment we make the final choice I’m getting so pregnant I’ll make all bunnies on Equestria jealous, because, hah, Shining sure knows how to sh—”
“Cadance?” Night Light interrupted.
“Yes?”
“No need for details.”
“Oh. Sorry.” Cadance shook her head. “Anyway, yes. Children. We’re talking about children, not children-making.”
“A huge difference.”
“To be honest, I’m a little nervous about the whole issue,” Cadance said, blushing a little. “Having a foal is a big responsibility. That’s why I think you’re the best one to ask for advice on this matter. After all, the two children you fathered have turned into royals on their own, so you had to do something incredibly right while raising them.”
“I’m pretty sure your foal won’t have any trouble turning into royalty,” Night Light said.
“By blood, yes.” Cadance sighed. “But I have so many doubts! For example: how did you manage to name Twilight and Shining so well?”
Night Light blinked. “What? Name?”
“Yes!” Cadance nodded. “I mean, I like my name, but… Mi Amore Cadenza? It doesn’t really sound like I’m a pony, does it?”
“It… does sound more like the name of a yacht, yes,” Night Light said. “In fact, when Shining first told us about you we thought he had suddenly become enamored with the idea of being a sailor.” He frowned. “Made the sex talk unnecessarily awkward, if you ask me.”
“See? Nothing but trouble. That’s why I prefer ‘Cadance’.” Cadance sighed. “But Twilight and Shining have such amazing names!” She smiled and rested her head on her hooves, her smile like that of a poet’s that just discovered he’s rich so he doesn’t need to write poetry anymore. “‘Twilight Sparkle’ is poetic, and thoughtful, and wonderful, and makes you think about magic—just like Twilight herself! And Shining Armor has rescued me many times, and he didn’t just wear the golden armor—he turned into the Captain of the Royal Guard!”
“Hmm…” Night Light took a sip of his tea. “I guess you’re right.”
“And it’s not just a matter of looking for a pony-sounding name,” Cadance continued. “It has to do something with the pony, but how can you do that if the poor thing is not even born? I know a lot of ponies who have that problem, and it looks like a horrible thing to bear.”
Night Light blinked. “You do?”
“Yes.” Cadance nodded. “I even asked some of them about it.”
“Mister Fancy Pants?” Cadance frowned as she looked at the stallion. “If you don’t mind my asking, how come you never wear pants when your name is, well, ‘Fancy Pants’?”
Fancy Pants squinted. “Because I don’t believe in fate, or destiny, or any idea that implies I’m not in absolute control of my own life, choices, or ideas.” He turned around and looked at his flank. “Also, because hiding my buttocks behind some trousers would be nothing less than a crime, my dear! Have you seen those things?!”
“He was clearly traumatized about it.”
“I don’t know, it sounds like he was just proud of his flank.” Night Light arched an eyebrow. “And to be honest? Any self-respecting stallion should do the same. Love your life, love your family, and love your butt. That’s my motto!”
“I guess that explains why it’s written on your front door with glowing letters,” Cadance said. “I always wondered how Twilight Velvet reacted when she saw them for the first time.”
“And this will be our new house!” Night Light said, pointing at the building he had bought with all his savings. “What do you think, honey? Amazing, isn’t it?” He elbowed Twilight Velvet. “Eh? Eh?”
Silence.
Velvet squinted. “I’ve been married to you for fifteen minutes and I’m already regretting it.”
“Joke’s on her, we had been married for three months by then!” Night Light said, grinning. “She didn’t notice because she was too busy writing a book at the time.”
Silence.
“…Twilight Velvet sounds like an, uh, interesting partner,” Cadance said.
“Oh, it’s like being married to a cat: she ignores you, attacks you for no reason now and then, and whenever she wants to snuggle she tries to make it look like she was just in the same room as you by chance.” Night Light smiled. “I find it adorable!”
Silence.
“…I see.” Cadance looked to the side. “Anyway, even if Fancy Pants is proud of his, ah, nether parts, that still doesn’t change the fact that his name doesn’t really fit him.”
“It doesn’t,” Night Light admitted. “Although I never thought about it, to be honest.”
“So, how did you do it?” Cadance asked. “How did you choose such good names for your children?”
“Well, to be honest?” Night Light shrugged. “We didn’t do anything. We didn’t really know what to name them. We just used something related to the baby in some way. For example, for Twilight…”
“Night Light?” Velvet said, walking into the kitchen and poking her husband on the side. “I think we should go to the hospital.”
“Uh?” Night Light shifted a pan away from the fire and untied his apron. “How so? Are you feeling sick? Do you want me to call a cab so you don’t need to walk? We can leave Shining with the neighbours if you feel like we’re going to spend the night in there.”
“No, no, that’s not it.” Velvet frowned and pointed at her stomach. “I think I’m pregnant.”
Silence.
“Well.” Night Light blinked. “That’s a big one.”
“Yeah.”
“Are you sure?”
“Not really, but when I got up this morning I felt a little more pregnant than usual.” Twilight Velvet shrugged. “It’s a hunch.”
“So you think you’re a little pregnant, then?”
“Yeah.”
“Huh.” Night Light threw his apron over his shoulder, turned off the fire, and grabbed Twilight Velvet by the shoulder. “To the hospital then. Shining! Come here, we have to take a cab!”
An hour later, they were talking with a doctor. He was a white unicorn, wearing a white robe. “Ah, a family of unicorns?” he asked, smiling. His teeth were also white. He was probably invisible in the snow. “That will make things much easier!”
“Oh?” Night Light arched an eyebrow. “It will?”
“Indeed! We got a new machine the other day that allows us to detect the magic of unicorn fetuses.” The doctor smiled. “Seeing how you’re all unicorns, we can detect if there’s another source of magic inside of you, ma’am. It will only take a couple minutes.”
A pause.
“Well, in the best case scenario, I guess. I’m not going to lie: your child could be anything. Pony genes make absolutely no sense. The other day I helped give birth to a griffon, and his parents were a unicorn and a donkey, so there’s that.”
The machine was a giant white thing with a lot of beeping lights, wires, buttons, and little screens everywhere. It looked ominous.
“It looks ominous,” Shining Armor said.
“Sssh. Don’t state the obvious, dear,” Night Light said, patting his son’s head. “Anyway, is that the machine?”
“Yes! Ma’am, do you mind coming here? Thanks. Anyway, we get this electrode and put it here…” he did as he said, gluing the sensor on Velvet’s stomach, “and this one here… and this one… And now we’re done!”
Velvet looked down. “Weird,” she said. “I feel like a robot.”
“It’s just three electrodes, ma’am. Robots have at least four of them.” The doctor’s horn glimmered and he shot a small, green ray at the machine, which started buzzing. “Okay, now the machine will read your magic, ma’am…”
The machine went ding.
“…And now,” the doctor continued, “it will try to look for another magic source. Usually unicorn fetuses have barely any magic, but the machine is very sensible, so in fifteen minutes we should—”
The machine went ding again.
Silence.
The doctor blinked. “Well, that was fast,” he said. “You got lucky today, ma’am! The machine detected the magic pretty quickly!”
“So then I’m pregnant?” Velvet asked. “I knew it.”
“Yes, you—”
The machine went ding again, only this time it was louder.
More silence.
“…Does that mean two foals?” Night Light asked. “Because that would be pretty big.”
“Two foals?” Shining Armor frowned. “Won’t they cry a lot?”
“I was thinking about that, yes.”
“It doesn’t mean two foals,” the doctor said, frowning. “It gives a different sound every time it detects a different source of magic. I… I honestly don’t really know what to—”
The machine went ding again.
Shining Armor blinked. “The babies are multiplying!” he said, poking his father’s leg. “Dad! Do something!”
“Okay,” the doctor said, “this is definitely weird, and maybe we should start getting a little worr—”
The machine went ding one more time. Far louder.
“So I’m pregnant or what?”
“Ma’am, apparently you’re very pregnant, and I think we should get you away from that thing,” the doctor said. “Either it’s faulty, or you’re so pregnant you’re off the charts.”
Night Light frowned. “Honey? Should I feel proud of that comment?”
Velvet raised an eyebrow. “Are you gonna give birth to it?”
“No.”
“Then you can’t.”
“Okay, that makes sense.”
The machine went ding. And then it went ding again. And once more. It was louder than a church bell now.
“Mom, stop being so pregnant! You’ll break the machine!”
“Shiny, believe me: if I could, I would.”
“Ooookay, the machine is definitely broken, and we should—”
DINGDINGDINGDINGDINGDINGDINGDING—
“—RUUUUUUUN!”
Luckily for them, Velvet could take the electrodes off and run away before the wires started sparkling, which is something wires should never do. And it’s not like they were stopping either—in fact, there were more and more little sparks everywhere, and the machine got hotter and hotter, dinging through it all…
Until it finally exploded and destroyed half the room.
Taking cover under a table in the corridor, Shining Armor looked at Twilight Velvet with a horrified expression. “Just how much pregnant are you, mom?” he whispered.
“…So that’s the story,” Night Light finished, taking another sip of tea. “The ‘Twilight’ part comes from her mother, of course. The guy at the Canterlot Names Archive said ‘Twilight Explosion’ was already taken, so we went with the second most logical option.”
“Huh.” Cadance blinked twice. “That… That wasn’t the kind of story I was expecting, actually.”
“I guess little Twilight had far more magic than expected,” Night Light said, shrugging. “Makes sense, seeing how she is now, right?”
“Yes…” Cadance looked at her teacup, and then back at Night Light again. “So it was a coincidence?”
“Eeyup. Sorry, but I can’t really give you any advice here.”
“Hm.” Cadance arched an eyebrow. “And what about Shining Armor? Was it a coincidence too?”
“Uuuuuuh…” Night Light ran a hoof through his mane. “Well, yes. Kind of. The story is a little different, though.”
“Hey, honey! Look at what I found!” Night Light said, opening the door of Twilight Velvet’s office. “It’s that old Royal Guard Nightmare Night costume from five years ago!”
Twilight Velvet didn’t even bother looking up from her typewriter. “I spent that Nightmare Night with my mother, Night Light.”
“Oh, you’re right.” Night Light walked towards Velvet. “But look! It still fits! Although it’s a little tight on the shoulders.
Velvet sighed and finally gave a look at her husband.
Then she looked back at the typewriter.
Silence.
She looked back at Night Light, her eyes the size of plates. She opened her mouth, but no sound came out of it.
“What do you think?” Night Light asked, turning around and showing Velvet his flank. “It even has tail decorations! My friends used to tell me it made my butt look amazing. Although it’s a bit warmer than I thought, I’m sweating a lot.” He flexed his back legs a little, his muscles tightening and relaxing in an almost hypnotic way. “Aaaah, that’s better.”
Velvet had still the same expression.
Night Light frowned. “Honey? Are you okay?”
“Take me,” Velvet whispered.
“What?”
PLAF!
“Woah!” Night Light yelped as Velvet tackled him to the floor. “Hey! What was that for?! Wow, wow, wow! What are you doing?! That’s not how that part is supposed to be—oh. Oh, hey. That’s actually pretty nice!”
“Aaaaand that was the night Shining Armor was conceived.” Night Light shrugged. “Now I put the shining armor on every Hearts and Hooves day. Still works as a charm.”
Cadance squinted. “…Did you just describe your own muscles as ‘hypnotic’?”
“I don’t believe in false modesty.”
“Well, that story was, uh, interesting,” Cadance said. “And I think it actually explains a couple things…”
“Cadance!” Shining Armor said, opening the door to their house, “I’m home!”
“Oooooh!” A young Cadance, still a couple years before their wedding, trotted down the stairs to meet her fiancé with a huge smile. “Welcome home! How was your first day as the Captain of the Royal Guard?”
“Great! Although It’s more tiring than what I thought.” Shining sighed and took off the helmet, his mane flowing in the nonexistent wind in what really looked like slow motion. “Aaaaah. That’s better.”
“Huh.” Cadance let a naughty smirk creep on her face. “You know…” she said, slowly leaning against Shining and placing a hoof on his chest, “I really like how this armor looks on you…”
“Uuuuuuh…” Shining Armor gulped and took a step backwards. “Um, can I take it off before we get all lovey-dovey? This is making me feel pretty Freudian right now.” A pause. “And I don’t even know what that means.”
“Oh, dear," Cadance said, right before leaning in for the kiss, “that makes it even hotter.”
“Cadance?” Night Light interrupted.
“Yes?”
“What did I tell you about stories involving sex and my son?”
“Oh.” Cadance blinked. “Oh, my. I did it again?”
“Yes.”
“Oooopsie. Sorry.” Cadance coughed. “So… You can’t really tell me anything about the names, then?”
“Sorry, but I don’t think so.” Night Light shrugged. “Look, the names of your children are a very personal thing. Both Velvet and I did what felt natural. The moment you see the foal, you just… know it.” He chuckled. “It sounds cheesy, I know, but being a parent means being cheesy now and then.”
“I’m going to be honest: that would be far more beautiful if it wasn’t by the fact that you named your son after your favorite sex toy.”
“And judging by how you speak about your daily life, naming my son after a sex toy was so spot-on that it actually scares me,” Night Light said.
Silence.
Cadance chuckled, took her teacup and raised it. “Touché,” she said.
And they had a toast.
“Ah.” Night Light looked at his teacup after drinking from it. “I finished it.”
“Me too,” Cadance said. “Shall we ask for another round?”
“Of course. My treat,” Night Light said. He looked around, squinting a little. “Do you see any waiter?”
“Hmm…” Cadance got up from her chair and raised a hoof. “Ah! There! Excuse me!”
The waiter, a green crystal stallion, trotted there immediately. “Yes, princess?” He nodded at Night Light. “And companion.”
“Um, could you please bring us another chamomile tea? And… Black tea, right, Mister Night Light?”
“Indeed!” Night Light said.
“That! Can you—” Cadance blinked. The waiter was trembling, and his eyes were open wide. He was whispering something impossible to understand. “Oh, ponyfeathers.”
“Cadance!” Night Light said, poking her shoulder. “Remember! Ask him not to!”
Cadance blinked. “What?”
“I… C-can I bring you that? Can anypony really do anything?” The waiter grabbed his head. “Or is everything an illusion?! LIFE HAS NO MEA—”
“Ah! Right.” Cadence tapped the waiter’s head. “Um, excuse me? Can you… Can you, uh, not have an existential crisis right now? Please?”
Absolute silence.
The waiter stopped trembling immediately. Slowly, very slowly, he released his head and closed his eyes, then took a deep breath.
There was another pause.
“Better?” Night Light asked.
“…Yes,” the waiter said, his voice weak as a fallen leaf in autumn. Then he cleared his throat and repeated, “yes,” this time louder.
“Good!” Night Light smiled. “Now, can you bring us our drinks?”
“Of course, sir. Princess.” He nodded at Cadance. “If you excuse me.”
Night Light and Cadance watched him go. He walked funny, but otherwise he looked quite okay.
“Well,” Cadance said after a couple seconds, “that was actually amazing. Thanks, Mister Night Light.”
“Oh, you’re welcome.” Night Light chuckled. “You’d be surprised at how much can a simple polite question do—”
BANG!
Both Night Light, Cadance, and every single pony in the cafe yelped at the sudden sound, and at the same time many pieces of glass flew in all directions, covering a small part of the floor.
“Don’t worry!” one of the waiters said, carrying a sweeper, “don’t worry! The head of one of our waiters just exploded, it’s nothing to worry about! We’ll clean this mess immediately! Sorry for the inconvenience!”
Cadance sighed. “Well, I guess that didn’t really wo—woah! Mister Night Light, are you okay?!”
Night Light gulped. His face was pale as can be, and his pupils were the size of peas. “Well,” he muttered, “that was, ah, pretty traumatic, I think.”
“What? It was just a pony exploding.” Cadance frowned. “He’ll be better in a couple days.”
A pause.
“He will?”
“Yes. As long as they get most of the pieces, anyway.” Cadance waved a hoof. “This happens all the time. They’re made of crystal—they’re bound to break now and then, so don’t worry. Nothing bad happened.”
“Phew.” Night Light rested his head on his hooves. “Dear Celestia, that really scared me.”
Silence.
“Wait, does that mean we need to ask for tea again?”
“I think so.”
“Huh.” Night Light frowned. “Well, let’s try not to accidentally destroy one of your subjects in the most gruesome way imaginable this time.”
“That’s what I tell myself every morning, and yet here we are.”