• Member Since 19th Feb, 2012
  • offline last seen 2 hours ago

Prane


Aspiring writer, self-proclaimed hardcore gamer, adept of human psychology. Does not consider excessive pride for a vice.

E
Source

Princess Celestia is a proud mentor to an extraordinary filly.

That very filly has read all there was in the vast libraries of Canterlot, and is bored to death during lectures at the School for the Gifted Unicorns where she attends. She’s also destined to bear the Element of Magic, and one day, perhaps, even take Celestia’s place on the throne. She may have some rough edges, true, but Celestia is going to teach her the magic of friendship and the values that are important in life.

If only Sunset Shimmer could stop sabotaging her efforts wherever they go.


Reviewed by Corejo and Csquared08 here! Also by PresentPerfect here! Check out Tales of the Sun to get this story in print!

Chapters (5)
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Comments ( 43 )

(somewhere in July)
Prane: Hey. Remember the Big Thing I'm writing? Turns out I need to learn more about Sunset Shimmer for that.
Gulheru: Not the human one, I presume?
Prane: No, it'll be a story about her and Celestia. From the times she was her student.
Gulheru: Go on...
Prane: I don't want to spoil the fun, but the working title is Dune Goddess, and it's set in Saddle Arabia, and should wrap around 3k words. It's a short piece.

Hello and welcome to Dune Goddess!

As I quoted above, this story came to be because I needed to learn more about what kind of character Sunset Shimmer can be. Her quirks, her interests and skills, her relations with Celestia. Hints about her past, and her future alike. I'm trying to wrap all of that in this story, and I hope that you'll enjoy it. So, without further ado, I give you the story about a teacher, her not-so-faithful student, and an awful lot of sand. I hope you'll enjoy it!

I'm going back to writing the Big Thing.

5139855

You actually saved that fragment... You one, clever man... :raritywink:

Good reading, my friend. And good luck with the upcoming... Big Thing.

Oh my! That cover art is gorgeous!

5140211
That's great news, let me know if you liked it once you read it!

5140924
Thank you! It's nothing special, just two ponies silhouettes' slapped over some orange and yellow, but I'm glad you're finding it visually appealing.

5140609
Of course I did! I had a feeling that my attempt to write a relatively short story would be unsuccessful. It's funny how I thought I could fit this one in 3k.

Have you ever considered submitting this story to Equestria Daily? You can find out how to do so here.

That was a really weird opening. I liked it, though.

And given the rest of the chapter, it might have even been clever.

Every young cold who dared to approached her

Her milkshakes bring all the viruses to the yard. :trollestia:


Also, I'm noticing a lot of typos. Might wanna go back and fix those :derpytongue2:

Yeah, this definitely lacks polish. Typos everywhere.

That said

I like this. I like what you've done with Sunset and how you've characterized her. I feel like it will lead nicely into her fall from grace and subsequent banishment to the world of EQG.

Overall, this was pretty good. I enjoyed your characterization, especially that of Sunset. I liked what you did with the Nightmare. That was a neat bit of world-building.

However, the lack of polish definitely held this back. A clean sweep with an editor or two should easily fix that, though.

5151863
Hi, thanks for feedback - the story does not seem to be getting much publicity, so your comments are all the more appreciated (gonna have to fix those typos sometime!). Writing this really helped me to wrap my headcanon about Sunset, in addition to, hopefully, giving her and Celestia a slight touch of badassery.

Oh, and thanks for the follow! :raritywink:

I second Csquared08's remarks. The writing could use another pass of editing, to fix the typos, but you did a good job with the setting, and your characterization of both Celestia and Sunset was quite nice.

5167920
Thanks for dropping by! My quality control is usually better than that, and I'm sorry for the inconvenience you might have experienced whilst reading. Most of the typos should be fixed by now (though I feel really dumb nonetheless). :twilightblush:

Now I only wonder if the Alpacas were sentient or not. Equestria is weird.

“Ah. I must have overheard.”

It should be misheard.

Sunset stopped in her tracks. “Are there even gods, Princess?”

Doesn't that depend on how you define such? Celestia's no omniscient monotheistic deity, but she doesn't make a poor Zeus or Odin stand-in. Wise, immortal, possessed of power unmatched by mortals and performing a vital cosmic function, whether or not she's a goddess is entirely a matter of what that term means. Where's the line between "very powerful" and "divine"? Ultimately, it's up to people to make those calls, though if Celestia maintains she's not one, you probably shouldn't make a big deal about calling her one, it would be rude.

5173807
The line between great power and godhood is indeed difficult to draw. That's why Celestia doesn't give a straight answer, but encourages Sunset to seek it on her own. I dare say it's a solid advice, and not only for ponies.

As for the alpacas, well, we've already seen AJ rounding up sheep (in Sisterhooves Social iirc). They may complain if they so desire, but in the end they will probably get ignored.

Thanks for reading! :yay:

This was a masterwork, and if I wasn't on my phone, I'd give a proper review! Soooooo Good! Time to check out your other stuff

5329523
Happy to hear that! :yay: Whether you read this story for adventure or Sunset Shimmer, you'll find more of both around - enjoy!

I'm assuming that the Alpacas were not sentient. Nevertheless I have to wonder....Why does Sunset want alpacas? What was she going to do with them?

I'm probably not going to get an answer, will I.

5443260
The way I see it is that Sunset ended up trapped somewhere in the Tramplevanian Alps, and the only reliable way down was to hire a local herder as a guide. The thing is, Sunset didn't know the local language very well, so when the herder and his alpacas lead her down to Celestia, it turned out she accidentally promised him a payment not for his services, but for the whole herd. Despite Celestia's intervention he remained adamant, and thus the Princess was forced to cover her student's expenses.

Up to this day, the alpacas are living a good life on the slopes of the mountain Canterlot is built on.

5445071 So it was safe to assume that the Alpacas weren't sentient. I like stories with happy endings. :twilightsmile:

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

The action was paced perfectly, and I adore the way the djinn talks. I mean, the world-building itself is great. But this story really needs a proofreader. :(

6831629
Or it just needs me sitting to it and squishing at least some of the bugs. I may do just that soon, because as old as it is and despite its lacks, this story remains one of my favorites (probably 'cause Sunset). So, thank you for reading and reviewing it! If you liked my take on the djinn, then you'll find another in Chapter 1 of Arcane Realms if you're interested. It should have less mistakes, too! :raritywink:

Beautifully done. The introduction especially cracked me up. This is a stunning piece overall.

7398422
Thanks, I'm happy to hear you enjoyed it. It's definitely one of my favorite fics and I had a lot of fun writing it! :raritywink:

Really like this story; clear, well-characterised and interesting.

7611361
Thank you for reading this one, I hope you'll find more interesting stories among my writing! :raritywink:

5173807 My thoughts exactly.

I tend to follow the duck axiom, in that the quacking, waddling, and flapping tend to make far more accurate statements toward the validity of duckness than mere statements in either direction.

:raritywink:

There was still time.

Hmmm ... no AU tag, so actually, Celestia, there isn't still time.:fluttershysad:

sinister responsible for the recent sandstorm

An angry djinn or air elemental, perhaps?

she told me she heard a dreadful wailing coming from within the temple

Hmmm ... or a warlock conjuring sandstorms for his own ends, maybe?

to acquire a herd of Tramplevanian alpacas

:rainbowlaugh: But now Canterlot can have its own alpaca wool industry! :pinkiehappy:

So, a possessed djinn ... and Sunset is a former cat burglar .....

Thankfully, for Equestria, there was a second "Magic" potential ... of course her learning friendship was pure dumb luck, so I'd say Celestia's methods are ... poor.

9571349
Hey, thank you for reading my story. I hope you enjoyed it. Have a great day! :)

Hello everyone! If you just received a notification about a new chapter in this story, be advised that it is not technically a new chapter - but there is some new content nonetheless.

It is a byproduct of editing changes I made while preparing the story for a special project: Tales of the Sun, a hardcover, printed collection of stories about Princess Celestia. It's from the same guys who brought you printed versions of (among others) Past Sins, Anthropology and Background Pony. There's also a compilation about Princess Luna - Tales of the Moon. Be sure to check them out!

Also, enjoy the new and improved version of Dune Goddess. It's so 4K you can see sand in Sunset's ear!

9583035
Thanks for the information. I think I'm going to have to re-read this one now to see if I can spot the changes.

9583113
Please do! I hope you'll enjoy it at least as much as the original version. :)

9583035

If you just received a notification about a new chapter in this story

This story has been sitting in my read it later box for five years pending that "it's finished now" checkbox. I guess good things come to those who wait, right? :twilightsmile:

9583142
No further changes are planned to this story, ever, so go ahead and check it out. Also, I think that five years is enough of a Read It Later Bax Jail. Time to break free!

9583035 Yeah, after 5 years for a short story I read in probably about an hour the first time, I need to reread the whole thing anyway.

9583939 I'm still disappointed that this isn't about a pony Kwisatz Haderach riding a giant Tatzlwurm.

derpicdn.net/img/2013/1/30/227677/large.png

derpicdn.net/img/2014/1/27/536293/full.png

:trollestia:

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