• Member Since 18th Oct, 2012
  • offline last seen 3 hours ago

Lunaria


On a one way trip to the moon

T

Sunset Shimmer's life was good, she had plenty of friends and greatly enjoyed where she had eventually ended up in life. It's a shame then that reality had a different opinion on where she belonged. Now stuck in the past prior to first leaving for the human world, Sunset will have to figure out what kind of direction she wants to take in life this time around.

After all, the future she herself lived with her friends was not reachable without doing things that she now found appalling. Even so, she knows that staying in Equestria could very well doom the world to a much darker future. If she had time to draft a plan she could probably figure out something that would keep herself out of the way while also not affecting the timeline, it's a shame then that the two princesses of Canterlot would just not leave her alone!


Apparently this thing got feature mere days after publishing... somehow.

Chapters (5)
Comments ( 429 )

Very interesting.....you have my attention

Kinda surprised Celestia didn't go check on Discord. From her perspective this coukd be a mind fucking prank he is pulling on her

Like this concept... keep it up!

This got me smiling at the concept and it seems to be executed well so far. I look forward to seeing more

yes, we need more Sunset Peggy sue.

This is the second story with this premise, the last one had sunset getting Shining instead of cadance, that is why i didnt like it, lets see if this one gets to be better :D.

11142526
True, but even Tia might chalked it up as an off day for her wayward daughter.

11142714
actually Shining got both of them.. the lucky bastard.

Very good. The only time I remember this happening was in Sunset Reset and it is nice to have another take on what could happen in this situation.

11142740
Lord Brony is one of my favorite authors. Please return to us Lord Brony :applecry:

Regardless, I shall have great hopes for this fic of a new author.

11142748
As for Lord Brony, the fic I really would like finished is Take Two.

And yes, this fic has good promise. Hopefully it moves along at a good clip.

Wanderer D
Moderator

Adds story to watch list.

Hey, I really like this idea. Can't wait to see where it goes.

Definitely excited to see more of this!

11142726
The overall story was very good, only thing that I wish was resolved better was Luna. Feels bad man.

11142903
Luna/Nightmare Moon has yet appeared.

11142944
Doesn't it imply that Luna never came back? In Twilight's Time travel troubles, it was vaguely referenced that Luna was not back yet even though twilight is at the time point where Gilmmer fucks with time in the present.

11142978
Perhaps. Since story is not finished, who knows. I just can't shake the idea of Luna still being banished.

I'll certainly keep an eye on this one. Love a good time travel fic with bacon horse. I also like seeing characters call out Celestia for being a manipulative pony.

11142984
Peggy sues are a fun concept/fanfic fuel. Like that fanfic where Ash gets to relived his journey and actually helped the Rocket Trio become badasses lol

I found a small typo.

What was she talking about? This was pretty standard spell-fare, Celestia was about to question what she meant but I got beaten to the punch by her student.

A small typo that doesn't quite belong... Methinks its not supposed to be there.

Best of luck! I will watch with great interest!

11142993
That actually sounds really interesting. Do you have a link for it?

Sunset Reset was the story that got me curious about 'what if Sunset went back somehow' and I'll keep track of this and hope it turns out better than that story did.

Oh man, this kinda blew up. I didn't expect my first story to get this much attention, let alone front page feature... uuuuh.

Well, I hope that it will live up to everyone's expectations.

11143024
Thank you! It is now fixed. (I think)

I actually had an issue where I by accident changed from third person to first person in the last part of the chapter, so I had to rewrite sections. It seems I still missed something though.

I think this is great so far. I'd be happy to help you with pre-reading, and I recommend Myrkur as an editor and proofreader.

Gentle-Being, you had my Interest, but now you have my Attention

Wanderer D
Moderator

11143043 Piece of advice: Enjoy yourself, have fun, and write the story you want to write and you'll do fine. We're here for the ride.

11143101
That's what I was planning on doing. I'm just not quite sure if I can deliver on people's expectations. I mostly wanted to put my story ideas in my head out there so that they exist and so they aren't lost.

11143108
About to give this a read (in spite of my personal rule of only reading long-form fics after they've published 5 chapters or more, but you gotta make exceptions to the rules sometimes) and as someone who's had several of her stories unexpectedly hit the Feature box, I'm 100% endorsing Wanderer D's advise.

One particular story I wrote (Music Box Blues) lost readers when I posted a nearly novel-length "chapter," and I realized that no matter what I wasn't going to be able to make everyone happy, and that chapter was SO MUCH FUN to write! In the end, my only regret was not planning that monster better and splitting it up into more chapters so it wasn't an overwhelming blob of text. But the content? The amount I wrote? The scenes I painted with the words and just pure enjoyment I got out of it? Don't regret a bit of that.

Write for yourself, and you'll be keeping your most important audience happy. :raritywink:

I love it and so far the execution of the storytelling is great keep up the awesome work and I hope to see more of this soon

Much like everyone else here, you have my attention. I'd like to offer my assistance as a proofreader and/or editor. Expect a message from me later today with a grammar-checked version of this chapter as a resume of sorts.

This is really cool by the way! It'll be very interesting to see how things change with a Sunset that's already gone through significant character development being thrust back to her past as a wayward student.

Huh well this is shaping up to be Sunset Reset done right so bravo.

Cadance just wearily looked between the two of us while stuffing food in her mouth so she didn't have to respond.

"It seems... that I was doing something with, uh, temporal logistics." Sunset looked up at me. "But I do not remember exactly what I was doing."

Perspective stuff I found.

11143359
Hopefully, there's no three-way love triangle that gets in the way of the actual story and wastes everyone's time.:ajbemused:

11142778
I kinda do as well, only to see what happens next as I hate Twilight in that fic, and she's the freaking protagonist.
At least with Sunset Reset, despite her problems, Sunset is the girl we all know and love (at least since Friendship games) and you want to root for her.

This is off to a good start!
I don't think it needs to be said that the premise sounds very similar to another story on this site, but the slight differences should make it interesting, the main one being the approximate time from when Sunset is sent back. Being further down the timeline (at least after Forgotten Friendship with the mention of the memory stone), would mean not only is Sunset far more used to being human, she's also been through a lot more (magical transformations and geodes) plus her relationship with Celestia is repaired if not better.
Oh, and there's also the fact that Sunset is still a unicorn.
I'm looking forward to your take on this premise! consider this tracked!

Definitely digging the premise and initial structure! It's nice to see Sunset hitting a middle ground of 'acting rationally and seeking information', in between the usual extremes of trying desperately to keep everything the same and immediate scheming or upheaval, compared to other regression or time-travel stories.

Hit me up by a PM if you're still in need of any preread / proofread / light editing.

This is looking interesting. I like how you're handling Celestia and Sunset, and proto-Cadie should be fun to see. Looking forward to seeing how you ride the line between making Sunset behave like an idiot to generate plot hooks and having her come completely clean and spoil the dramatic irony. Can't help but note that I caught zero errors, as well, and just one minor language note:

"Either can't look past my new title, or only want to be around me because of my title."

Only "because" should be in italics. She's already mentioned her title in the sentence, so she's not putting emphasis on it. If you speak the sentence aloud, your pitch will rise between the two syllables of 'because', and drop to a monotone for the rest in an echo of the first mention. If she said instead, "They only want to be around me because of my title," the phrase would be a monotone or falling slightly in pitch until the word 'title', which would have a higher pitch on the first syllable, and you'd italicize 'title'. But if she were, say, accusing a snobby pony to her face, the whole phrase might be emphasized: "Or is it that you only want to be around me because of my title?"

And when this is the kind of super-picky junk I fixate on, you know you're doing well.

Reminds me a lot of Sunset Reset, but with less... well, let's just I'm excited, you have my interest!

Violated my usual rule for not reading incomplete stories. I liked it and it shows real promise. No wonder it made the front page, so have a thumbs up. Follow WandererD's advice, it's good.

I assume that in this universe, Sunset did not travel to the past, but in fact, during her experiments, she was able to read her future knowledge. And now these spoilers could make her reevaluate her worldview.

Sunset will have to figure out what kind of direction she want (wants) to take in life this time around.

(Pre-reader/Proof-reader and editor wanted.)
I am not applying; but will aid as i see them...

The banging on what was clearly the door did, however, not relent.

not a typo per say but it feels jumbled and mismatched. How i would write it;

The banging on what was clearly the door did not, however, relent.

Ooh, there’s not enough good Peggy Sue Sunset fics, and this looks promising so far.

Login or register to comment