• Member Since 8th Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen Aug 2nd, 2016

Alpha Scorpii


Happily retired. Thanks for all the good times :)

E

There's something wrong about Pumpkin Cake. She has been behaving strangely for the past weeks, smiling much less than she used to. A worried Mr. Cake tries to figure out what the problem is, and if he can help.

A story about a father and his daughter. And fireflies.
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Special thanks to my proofreader Inumaniac for his help, and many thanks to Silver Starlight for the extra help.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 18 )

Now this is the sort of story I love to read. A story about ponies simply going through their lives, a story about family. You don't need some amazing adventure to see great moments between characters, something like this is all you need.

You got Carrot Cake down perfectly with him, both in past and present showing how his views and love of his children never changed. How he could never ever stop loving them or being proud of them.

I must say, since reading your stories the Cake family has got to me one of my favorite groups of characters in the show and IO do hope they get some more screen time in the next season. Here's to hoping I suppose.

And one side note, with my own story about fathers I completely missed Father's Day as well...huh. Oh well.

Well done, I'm glad I read this and I hope many others read it soon.

Gah! Tearing up at the end there >.<
Kinda bummed firefly season isn't for a few weeks still.

Oh man, I do love me some Cake family stories. Pound and Pumpkin cake stories are always enjoyable, on the rare occasion I find myself reading one. I really enjoyed each time Carrot thinks about saying no to his daughter, and then ends up capitulating every time.

2742536 They're lightin' up my window down here in the south. You mean it they ain't in season yet?

Well done. These small moments are what make our lives.

That was so great... :fluttercry:

It's nice to see that everyone is enjoying the story as much as I did. :twilightsmile:

2742437 I'm happy to hear that my stories are making you like the Cakes more. I guess that means I'm doing it right, and that means a lot to me.

Thanks. :twilightsmile:

2743074 I also liked those parts. They were really fun to write :twilightsheepish:

Great story, that was really quite touching.

2743114
Sorry, should have said they aren't in season where i live yet. My area doesn't get them 'til mi-july (though we sometimes get some for the 4th if the weather was weird)

So Pumpkin's going to grow up to be an entomologist in here? Interesting.

Wouldn't the fish jump up at the fireflies if they get too close to a river? :pinkiecrazy:

2812980 Maybe. I wanted to leave an open ending. It's up to you to decide if the fireflies give her a cutie mark or not. :pinkiesmile:

(But in my headcanon, yes, Pumpkin eventually becomes Equestria's greatest entomologist :twilightblush:)

Wouldn't the fish jump up at the fireflies if they get too close to a river?

We'll assume Fluttershy feeds the fishes daily, so they don't need to eat the fireflies :twilightsheepish:

Man, that is pretty touching! A few afterthoughts in quick succession: I feel like 'dancing with fireflies' is something I've heard/seen before in perhaps a movie or short film (not sure). Your dialogue use for Mr. Cake is spot on. I'm not sure I'd be able to match it. The flow of the story quite nicely portrays synonymous feelings of a child needing, and a parent providing, loving support. Believe it or not, I've never seen fireflies in person though I'd like to one day.

Here's something that I really liked and caught my attention:

Sorry, it’s something that dads do. We feel happier when our kids follow in our steps. I guess it’s because, that way, we can teach them everything we know, we can guide them. And then, when it’s time for them to go, we know they’re going to be prepared for the world, and that is less scary for us. Mommies and daddies are ponies too, and they are afraid of things.

Unless a parent doesn't feel this kind of deep attachment - it happens - often they want to know their child is adequately prepared when they leave the nest. It is one of many fears for a parent to watch their child stumble through life's many hardship's unable to offer support. All in all, caring and loving creates attachment. That attachment takes in itself a piece of the one providing care or love leaving wide open a vulnerability of either experiencing joy or pain through its extension. I could be wrong, but those are my feelings (and ramblings :pinkiesmile:).

Um, sorry for the rambling. This is a really good story! Thanks for writing it!

3004096 I only saw fireflies once so far, and from far away.

I'm glad you liked the story, especially that part. I'm not a father myself, so everything I write about them is mostly an assumption on my part, based on how I think I would act if I was a father. I'm glad to know I did it right, or at least not wrong.

No need to apologize for the rambling, it's always nice to know what other people think and I like what you said there.

Thank you so much the favourite and for following :twilightsmile: I hope you see fireflies soon!

Ew! Sweetness and feelings! Get them off! Get them off!

But in all seriousness though, this was really touching. Nice work.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go borrow a shot of insulin from my friend.

makes me think of the song fireflies by owl city,... I don't know how to put a video here or i would

4207744
Here:

I prefer the one without the video though. Leaves it more open to interpretation.

Also, wonderful story, author! Thanks for writing it. :twilightsmile:

EDIT: Oh goodness I just realised how late that was... :derpytongue2:
Sorry, I was brought here by the Seattle's Angels review. Didn't expect this story to be so old... :derpytongue2:

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