• Member Since 30th Aug, 2013
  • offline last seen Feb 11th, 2019

Crystal Moose


Brony(eeds) a coffee... http://ko-fi.com/crystalmoose

Sequels1

  • TA Rose's Thorn
    Roseluck has a wonderful fillyfriend, a great job, and a great life. She's happy with where she's at, but there is one event in her past that still haunts her. At the urging of her fillyfriend, she sets out to make it right.
    Crystal Moose · 4.1k words  ·  216  6 · 2.4k views
T
Source

During a sleepover at Twilight’s, Rarity takes the opportunity to talk about boys. The girls press Applejack into opening up a little more around them.

But a good girl never talks about that kind of thing…

Primary Cast: Applejack
Secondary Cast: Mane Six

Edited by Level Dasher

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 306 )

Eh, coming of age gay vs 'old fashioned' fics aren't really my thing for personal reasons and the general theme of them.

That being said, it's good, subjectively, across the board, so I'll just give a like, even after my gripes about it, so good day.

Signed,
--Pyro The Devout Reader

This was a nice little story, I liked it. :twilightsmile:

4859566
I understand why it might not be some people's story of choice, but I appreciate the positive feed back and the like none-the-less.

4859567
You may or may not have noted I made some changes to the start of the story after you ended up going to bed. Most notably, dropping Applejack's mom's accent.

Two of those things was enough!

Whelp, Roseluck deserves a jaw punch too. She could not fathom that Applejack is at a loss because if she didn't go with her then they might be alive, and the last words wouldn't have been said. Not that her parents were worth much outside of being family. I thought the others were being OOC with how they acted until I realized it was a flashback. I thought she was telling them.

4868492
Well, her not being there was never explicitly stated as the reason they died. She was not responsible for it in the least. I didn't even have anything in mind as to what caused their deaths. Just left it vague enough so that it could reasonably fit within the canon AJ's backstory.

I didn't want AJ's parents to come off as a one-note horrible abusive parent relationship, but I think I failed on that part. It was hard when there wasn't really much outside her sexuality that she was flashing-back to. Not to say that her parents weren't abusive in that situation, but at least in my mind, they were only like that in this particular instance (i.e. the issue of AJ's sexuality)

Sadly, I think that didn't come off at all in the story. I think I made them out like they were demonic spawn from tartarus.

I have another one-shot story in planning about a teen coming out, from the perspective of the parent who can't handle it/doesn't like it/can't come to terms with it. It'll be a challenge, considering where my own opinions lie.

As for Roseluck? Yeah, it was written as kind of shitty situation, regardless. I actually felt for Roseluck (rather than wanting to punch her) but then… they were both written to be teenagers (as by the biology test and studying) and teenagers aren't the best at handling things maturely. A breakup is a breakup, regardless of the circumstances surrounding it. Teens don't tend to handle them well at the best of times.

:twilightsmile:

Darn it! I almost shed a tear.
I really hate this kind of stories , the abuse seem a little too far ...

But damn , you made an awesome story! It was very touching.

Very well thought and written, I'd say. Not exactly how I had AJ's past in mind (it's all imagination of course), but in every case worth reading.

All of the sad tags in the world cannot possibly label this as sad enough. This is watching "The Bicentennial Man" while the ending to "Terminator 2" plays on a loop with a soft viola playing all the while in the background after your cat just died choking on your bird levels of sad. :fluttercry:

Well done! Please make a sequel in which AJ gets a bit of a mental repair job will ya?

4869176 If he writes another Apple story anytime soon, I am going to have to have a serious discussion with him. Do you have ANY idea how annoying that accent is to work with? :ajbemused:

I'm kidding, of course (not about the accent— it's a b****), but I believe we have agreed to lessen the number of Apple stories at the moment for our own sanities' sakes (I'm hoping there weren't any crossies on that...:twilightangry2:).

Is it some sort of crime to not write in accents here? If so I realy ahve my work cut out for me to emulate this voice:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I8wjInQTZKk

4869258
LD... The Liar and the what?

Slap me in leather and paddle my ass, because I am a masochist. :twilightoops:

4869261
Oh god, I love SHODAN. There is a 93.74% chance you are aware of my birth on your planet, and my rebirth into beauty on citadel station.

4869261 Nah, t'ain't no crime to not write in an accent, but some writers jus' like t' torture their editors. :ajbemused:

4869267 I will brain you if you expect me to go through that one anytime soon. We still have to finish Floret, anyway. :facehoof: That's got nine unedited chapters. NINE! :flutterrage:

4869287
Aww, you love me, you really do!

I liked it. It was sad, but it was good.

4869271 My fic An Equestrian Odyssey may or may not at some point feature Shodan. Hence me asking if writing accents is mandatory.
4869287 I see... Want to edit my work then? I assure you that after the 14th comma splice on a page that will bug you less :rainbowlaugh:

4869386 Sorry, I can't add any more stories to my editing list right now. I've already got enough on my plate with writing, editing, and real life.

4869419 No worries, I have 4 editors. 5 if you count the AI I bought to do the first sweep over.

Whoever disliked this story is an idiot.

This is a good story, but I kind of feel sad about the ending, which I'm guessing was the point. I just wish she did come to terms with her sexuality and accepted who she is. Maybe if her friends knew they would tell it's alright and she can stop blaming herself.

“While ya live under mah roof, ya’ll not talk back t’ me or yer mother. An’ Ah’ll not abide by mah daughter… livin’ in sin with some… some… fooler!”

No. Just... no.

this story made me sad :fluttercry: of course it does have a sad tag so really I suppose that was to be expected. Also it may be heartless of me but...I was a little happy when AJ's parents died

4869591 I agree with this I really hoped for Applejack to accept herself as she is and not let her parents ideas keep her from how she really feels and who she really is despite how cliche that sounds.

4869542 Or maybe they didn't find a promotion of homosexuality entertaining. :applejackunsure:

4869678
I'm just saying I really like the story. And your right.

This had so many good things. I love this story.

I want to specifically point out a few things that were really awesome icing on this sad cake.
The accent, I loved that.
Pinkie Pie as a clueless kid dealing with old fashion, her pinkie sense, and providing the origin of her dedication to always keep a promise.
I'll admit that I was expecting Pinkie to invent the 'pinkie promise' as a solution to her untrustworthyness though. Like a super special promise she will totally never break, but I like this way too.

4869678 Whatever a story's promoting has no direct bearing on how good a story is. If someone judged this story based on that, they're an idiot.

4868564

Sadly, I think that didn't come off at all in the story. I think I made them out like they were demonic spawn from tartarus.

If you are willing to hit your own child for something like that, you are some demonic spawn from tartarus. The switch only made it worse as well.

They just hid themselves far better in a parents skin rather then looking like the monsters they actually are. This wasn't some alcohol induced terror, this was a willing "I Will beat the values out of you that aren't our own"

Okay, now that I've calmed down a bit, a few more thoughts.

An’ Ah’ll not abide by mah daughter… livin’ in sin with some… some… fooler!”

Sin? Why? Why is it a sin? Are you insinuating that Applejack's family are Christians? Because that's what I see: a blatant caricature of the typical crazy, bigoted Christian. As an aside, being from the south myself(and a Christian), I am somewhat annoyed about you using the trope of the southerners being bigots. Now, yeah, there are a lot of people in the world who think like this, and that is a crying damn shame.

But this isn't the real world.

This is Equestria—land of sunshine, rainbows, and fairy farts. What possible reason is there for her parents to react so violently to her being gay? Because it's "not natural?" Says who? You're having them adhere to some kind of belief structure, but not telling us what it is. The end result is not a pair of characters who are acting in a detestable way. It's just two idiots acting like idiots for the sake of idiocy. You're transplanting values from our world into a world where they make no sense. There is no Bible for her parents to be getting this belief from(erroneously., I might add, as the original translation of the Bible never mentions the word "homosexual.")

And even if you are going for the "unnatural" angle, I have never met a secular person who believed so greatly in this supposed "natural order of things" to the point where they would beat their children over it.

So, as I said, you seem to be forcing views onto these characters that make no sense in universe. This makes the conflict feel forced and contrived; a flimsy excuse to have ponies mirror real-world issues. The story itself is pretty well-written, all things considered, but the central conceit of the fic makes little sense.

4869708 If they didn't like it for any reason, they are allowed to vote a dislike. Accept the fact that people don't like things for various reasons and move on.

4869746 I suppose. I still don't get disliking something because of a reason that doesn't pertain to the story itself.

I have never grinned as much in my life as when AJ's parents died, call me a monster, but anyone whom dares raise a hand (or hoof, in this case.) against their family, none the less their daughter, is scum that doesn't deserve to breath, ie: Shoot on Sight.
And those that does it regularly? Many think I'm joking when I say that I keep a knife at my side, at all times.
I always do.

Muet #34 · Aug 18th, 2014 · · 1 ·

Sin? Why? Why is it a sin? Are you insinuating that Applejack's family are Christians?

gifrific.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/Boy-That-Escalated-Quickly-Anchorman.gif :ajbemused:

4869776

Did you even read the rest of my comment?

Holy shit that is a lot of likes for being posted right away. And this story was awesome! :rainbowkiss:

4869722 The bible mentions God finding a man lying with a man as well as women sleeping with each other disgusting in his views right along with incest and various other things. It doesn't take a genius to understand the meaning of what was said nor a word for other to understand.

4869748 Well, if the the story is about a coming of age/accepting an alternate sexuality, it IS actually pertaining to the story itself if someone dislikes it for that very reason. It's like me finding Button Mash x Sweetie ship with disdain and me down voting it regardless of how well written it is. It's kind of the same thing.

4868492

So now Applejack has magical healing powers?

4869813

Yeah, right next to him talkin about not wearing clothing o mixed fibers and eating fruit too soon after it falls from a tree. Unless you're a Hassidic Jew, I doubt you live by all Dueteronomical and Levitical law. So, where do you draw the line?

"Good girls don't...
Good girls don't...
Good girls don't...
But I do."

I liked it! Quick little tip-- most people prefer it when Applejack doesn't do the "Ah" thing. It's kind of distracting, especially when it's capitalized. The story barely takes place at the sleepover, it's as of you could almost cut out the sleepover entirely, and it'd still be just as great.

Four Raristars for you! :raritystarry::raritystarry::raritystarry::raritystarry:

4869912 The "Ah" thing is just part of her accent; that's how she actually talks. And you are the 1st person I've ever seen complain about her dialogue being written that way.

4869882

I suppose when they stop using the same law to justify it in the court of modern day legal law.

4869722 I don't want to look like I'm ignoring your opinion, but I disagree, and would like to point something out. I would quote a specific part of your comment, but most of it is centered around the whole "not in this universe" argument, so i don't know which part to pick.

Many authors on this site write stories that essentially humanize the characters of the pony world. I don't mean turning them human (i.e. Equestria Girls style), I mean giving ponies our human values, which clearly this story did. Sometimes readers like you take this seriously (I don't mean to offend, I'm just saying you're part of the group), while others overlook the fact and take the stories as they are: stories. Some may consider it out of character for the universe, but if you keep in mind some of the morals that are portrayed in the show, they are very similar to what we deal with in the human world. My favorite example is in Bridle Gossip, in which Zecora has to deal with prejudice because she is different. Does this not remind you of something similar in our world?

My point is, the way MLP:FIM has been written, Equestria really isn't, as you put it, "land of sunshine, rainbows, and fairy farts." They deal with problems similar to the ones we do here, so I think it's fair that a family could be dealing with an issue such as this.

Again, while everyone is entitled to their opinion, I respectfully disagree with your saying that the views would not exist in this universe. As you said...

Says who?

4869983

Okay, true. But again, the author is implying that being gay is a "sin" in this world, and he failed to explain "according to who?" If there is some kind of belief structure in place that says that, he needs to show us this. Otherwise, what are we supposed to think? Celestia?

4869771 badass alert.

I'm guessing you always have a katana handy as well?

This was surprisingly bitter.
Nice...

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