• Member Since 5th Feb, 2014
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

Autum Breeze


a home-grown australian who embraced being a member of the fandom 2 days before joining. Willingly delved into the fandom whole-heartedly and has never looked back

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Based off of this comic by bronybyexception and written with their permission

Comic Dub here

Coinsides in the same world as this comic dub

Cover art from HERE


Apple Bloom always wanted her Cutie Mark. It was the one thing she wanted most in the world and her family fully supported her, encouraging her to keep going until she finds it.

However, she never expected that getting her Cutie Mark would come at such a high price. Apples always have something to do with apples in their Cutie Mark, but Apple Bloom does not.

Now, exiled from the only family she's ever known, Apple Bloom has nowhere to go. Heartbroken and unsure what to do, Apple Bloom goes to the only pony she trusted more than her big sister, in the hopes that she might help the now familyless filly.


In Popular Stories 24-26/7/2015 and then again 31/7/2015. Featured box 26/7/2015.

Holy- In the Featured Box 10/8/2018? Huh?

Chapters (4)
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Comments ( 263 )

I'm gonna hold my vote for this... I wanna see how you do this.

Okay you have my attention. And for a moment it reminded me of this comic.

She should banish them from Equestria

Gonna guess before I read this Applejack is gonna feel very OOC but since it's based off a comic exploring the concept, I'm gonna give this a read anyway!

if she stayed at the orphanage then scootaloo wouldn't be alone anymore

I've read lots of fics involving Momlestia and Fluttermom themes but I love the Twimom ones best

Twi just feels like a great character to become a mother (normally to scoots though)

Hmm....charges for child abandonment...please tell me Twilight is going to press charges...

“Maci! Granny! Burnt apple!”

Supposed to be Mac.

Good first chapter, I might like this since I don't like Applejack...I'll upvote it for now.

6238767 like where the element of honesty lied?

6239549 she may be the element of honesty, but that doesn't mean she can't lie. if i recall correctly she did lie in that one episode when the flim flam brothers were selling their cure all tonic which was fake

can't wait so see more :twilightsmile:

Was actually wondering if someone would make a story related to that nightmare of hers.

Not sure what to think of it as of yet.

What is her cutie mark, anyway? Because they said it was red, and I'm coming up blank.:unsuresweetie:

6240444 It also said 'hammer'. So, hammer.

Seems a little OOC on AJ's part, but it could be interesting.

I'm also reserving my vote at this point, as I want to see where this may eventually go. It's difficult for me, because I'd love to see Twimom to a filly Apple Bloom – that just seems like an interesting, and loving, setup. Of course, it might not go in that direction, so... *shrugs*. AJ didn't seem to be too OOC, so much as she was abiding to something that, quite frankly, is very conflicting. The lullaby she sang to her? The promise made? Could that all really have been a lie?

I will be tracking this one. Hang in there, Apple Bloom. :applecry:

ooooh!! Twilight knows the Royal Canterlot Voice? I wanna see that!

And then it turns out it is all part of a changeling plot to separate Applejack from the other element bearers and to get Twilight used to the idea of looking after a child so that she can later adopt Queen Chrysalis's nymphs, who are not receiving the love they need to mature :moustache:

6240688 Someone already told me that. Also, I knew it was red from the start. You didn't need to say anything.

This is just...so, SO full of out-of-character moments.

Applejack, the element of Honesty, lies to her little sister about her Cutie Mark and NOT kicking her off the farm, because, I kid you not, Apple Bloom was expecting to get kicked out if she didn't get an Apple-related Mark. It's apparently an established tradition of the loyal, devoted-to-family Apples to treat those people like pariahs.

Applejack lies, Granny Smith kicks Apple Bloom out before she could even eat anything into the storm, Applejack LETS THIS HAPPEN, they both send a child to the orphanage, in the cold and rain, without even a meal. This can't be excused as family tradition at this point - it's downright cruelty.

What next? Is Apple Bloom going to start crying in the Rains and Thunders of Sadness? Oh, wait, that actually happened. You took one of the biggest cliches out there and played it straight, which doesn't really bode well for the future.

Is the rest of the Apple family going to retroactively ignore anyone who doesn't have an Apple mark? Like Fiddlesticks? Or the other ponies at the Apple Family Reunion?

On top of that, the narrative is cluttered with run-on sentences like:

Either somepony was at the farm she hadn’t known, somepony who sounded like a member of their family, though she’d never heard of a Burnt Apple before, or that was some kind of code for something she didn’t know about, though a nagging about her fears from before, the ones Luna had helped put to rest, resurfacing, trying to creep into her mind.

Or:

She blushed as she realized the insulting thoughts she’d just had towards Spike about sleeping through the storm could be implied to her with her reading.

These are physically painful to read.

I don't think this fic has anything of merit. The premise makes no sense, the writing is terrible, the characters are out-of-character, and lastly, the stupid accents are over-exaggerated (It borke mah heart) and I keep hearing a voice in the back of my head telling me to burn everything.

Considering the title of this fic, I doubt there's going to be some clever twist or point that creates some order out of this. This isn't the worst thing I've read, but certainly deserves a downvote that I'm preparing to give once you complete this or write two more chapters.

I can’t count the amount of times when I was little that Shining Armour and I got into huge fights and I told him I wished he’d never been my brother. I never meant it, but, in anger, we say things we don’t mean.”

:rainbowhuh:

...
" He taught me how to fly a kite (Best friend forever!)
We never had a single fight (We did everything together!)
We shared our hopes, we shared our dreams
I miss him more than I realized
It seems... "
...

I can’t count the amount of times when I was little that Shining Armour and I got into huge fights and I told him I wished he’d never been my brother. I never meant it, but, in anger, we say things we don’t mean.”

:rainbowhuh:

"...
He taught me how to fly a kite (Best friend forever!)
We never had a single fight (We did everything together!)
We shared our hopes, we shared our dreams
I miss him more than I realized
It seems...
..."

:twilightoops:

I'll put it in my favorites for now since it's a heart tugger, but you took a serious risk with this story, I'll be watching:coolphoto:

Well, the story really does stretch logic and character continuity quite a lot to get the concept over. However, it's an interesting concept, so I'll continue to watch this.
On the end it will come down to how believable you manage to write the apple family. I just hope it won't end in plain and simple AJ bashing, even though I don't see how you might avoid it.

6240541 Next sentence down from the question "where's your apple mark?". It's not in the dialogue.

Extreme on AJ's part to do this... I wonder what Celestia would say about this?

so hey mister/misses writer, how often do you think this will update? i'm very intrigued by this story.

What they did to Apple Bloom seems illegal... or at least amoral.

I hope they get in trouble.

6241300
They fought like actual brothers and sisters do in the comic ...
:derpytongue2:

I really like TwiMom stories so I hope this one does well.
so far ... Yea it is.
Good Luck <3

my god... the feels... MOAR!!! um, if that's ok with you.

I hope somebody punches Applejack. Hard. :pinkiecrazy:

The trouble with family traditions is that they end up being past on for so long that they don't take the new laws of the land into account.

6241986 I'm pretty sure the comics have called themselves out as being only semi-canonical (by Pinkie, I believe).

6242098 I personally hope it isn't Twilight. It's just too obvious, to plain for her to be the one to do it. No, I want Applejack to be in town tomorrow, and I want to hear Twilight rip her a new one in the Royal Canterlot Voice right there where everypony will hear her.

I neither expect nor want her to be jumped by a mob, but Applebloom's got some friends, and all of Applejack's friends will be feeling awful betrayed by this. I anticipate any of the other Mane 6 (or Spike) to be the one to punch her. It seems more satisfying.

Being detail oriented like I am, something specific stuck out to me more than anything else. Apple Bloom was soaked to the bone from standing in the rain, and Twilight followed from hugging her. Getting right into bed without making any effort to dry off is going to lead to a lot of discomfort for the both of them, and poor sleep.

Comment posted by Son Elec deleted March 12th

Thus I clothe my naked villainy with odd old ends stol'n forth of holy writ, and seem a saint when most I play the devil

OK, now I'm kind of interested in seeing a plausible version of how Applebloom's manifestation of a non-Apple plotmark would go. This isn't it. It's just taking a rather dark joke and playing it dead straight.

6242345 If all of them or I don't get to her first! This is NOT BEST PONY MATERIAL!!! I EXPECT MORE FROM YOU APPLEJACK! She doesn't deserve AJ-chan anymore! In this story at least.

Is it bad that I want to see Applejack get abandoned by all her friends?

(Also I more expected the Pie family to do this to Pinkie Pie, they seem like the kind of ponies)

Hmm ...interesting. To be honest I could imagin tho this would rather happens to Babs Seed afther she earned her offical cutie mark which has nothing to do with oragnges and I belive that she is an Orange family member.

Interesting concept, you've got my attention. Looking forward to seeing how this plays out.

W-w-what did I just read? It gets: a like, a sad fic fav and a tracking. Not a fav just yet. I wanna se how it's gonna play out:fluttercry: but good writting, for once I am not dissapontes I looked at the other stories on the main page (not just featured)

You know, when I was a kid I was absolutely certain that if I disappointed my parents they would literally throw me into the garbage bin. I had some messed-up ideas when I was little, but it looks like the Apples saw my brain and thought, "you know what? He's onto something!".

6243254 I'm sort of expecting it to be Fluttershy, actually. Everypony else would be too stunned to follow through with their own face-punching intentions.

Whatever story drama Applejack has to provide (past what happened here and what happens next chapter) will probably require her to actually be out and about, not confined to a hospital bed where I'm pretty sure not many ponies would come to see her.

I'm still in doubt about this,the idea has some merit but it will depend in how you will develop this, it could be either very good or very bad. Guess I'll just have to wait and see. :coolphoto:

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