• Member Since 30th Dec, 2011
  • offline last seen January 19th

Blueshift


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Life's hard when you're small, especially if you're a breezie. The ponies keep trying to knock down your tree-home, steal all your fruit, and now they're about to bring back winter and doom your hive to a frozen fate.

Misty has had enough. She's going to leave her tree, stop the Summer Shutdown, and save the world.

After all, someone's got to do it.

Written for Equestria Daily's Outside Insight Summer Fanfic Contest

Chapters (3)
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Comments ( 181 )

This . . .

This here is my pick for winner of the contest. I don't even need to read this thing to know it's going to be good.

Interesting and possibly relevant fact:

Many varieties of trees need to experience a certain amount of winter before they start acting like it's spring and making the blossoms that will become fruits.

Probably the best Breezie story I've seen so far.

Misty seems to be unaware of a green one living in the house... since I don't see her tagged, I'm guessing she won't be relevant, though.

It's always nice to see a world so cleverly realised as this. The show breezies gave the impression of much longer lives, but it's always fun seeing creatures that measure their lives in hours and days. It feels rather like Pratchett's Nomes. Only more fluttery.

I want to know how the breezies interact with bugs. Do the breezies 'milk' aphids like how ants do? Are they omnivorous and eat any types bugs? Does their super secret R&D department realize the potential of using spiders as biological war machines against the evil ponies?

Damn this is an amazing story!
Please don't make us wait too long for ch3 :fluttercry:

This story is amazing!!!:pinkiehappy: But, the breezies actually have a place where they live in peace. And they aren't enemies with the ponies, if anything, they need them. They help them. But, please write more.I enjoy this story allot!:twilightsmile:

4852407 He'd better boogie. The contest turns into a pumpkin in about 25.5 hours.

Interesting.

Has the familiar feel of The Littles / The Borrowers.

I like it.

This is so much better than the draft I saw hours ago with the new half. :pinkiegasp:

I hope Misty and the rest of the breezies get saved in the end.

Really. It's all so sad now. :fluttercry:

Man, I am loving this. It's been a while since I've been this invested in a new pony fic.

Interesting. It's all about perspective. I suppose that the Red Destroyer is supposed to be Big Mac?

4852760
4852407

Yes, chapter 3 has to come tonight if I want to enter the competition with this. Write or die, Blueshift! Write or die!

4852781 Yeah, the Borrowers books were a massive influence on me when I was little.


4851635

...And Pratchett's Nomes books. I have them at home signed somewhere, I think!

4852507

The thing about being so small is that the world is a huge and terrifying place. They just don't know about any other breezies as they've been so focused on living and hiding in their tree. I will go into that more in the last part, don't worry!

4853303 Clearly it's a metaphor for the International Chinese Communist Conspiracy. :trollestia:

This is wonderful! The vastness and the danger of the big world for the tiny breezies comes through very well; for Misty, the Sweet Apple Acres is just as terrifying and strange as the Everfree Forest would be to the ponies, if not more. I'm eagerly awaiting more!

The style of wording reminds me a little of Pratchett, so I suspect you're a fan of Diggers.
But the themes and characterization remind me a lot more of the Mice Templar.
Well, Mice Templar if the foundation for the EEEVIL in the world was one caused largely by unintentional ignorance. :ajbemused: But I've always been of the view that the truth in a story matters not at all in the face of what matters to the characters.
This has all the makings of a character that has a world of stories lying ahead of her. If only that world could persist beyond the third chapter...
Make it as long as you want to. Make it longer. Turn it into an epic adventure of wild dreams and high fantasy. Make it happen. If for no other reason than to indulge me. Because, as some random commenter on the interwebs, my opinion is the most important one. :ajsmug:

I am aiming to get this finished for the EqD promot competition, but 1) That finishes in about 24 hours, and 2) I have no idea how long this will end up. I am going to try though.

No. NO! NOOO! MY HOPES AND DREAMS! :raritycry:
I take that quote to mean that the story will end on chapter 3.
TRAGEDY OF TRAGEDIES! :raritydespair:

2) I have no idea how long this will end up.

Wait. WAIT. :raritystarry:

2) I have no idea how long this will end up.

HAH! LOOPHOLES! :pinkiehappy:

"We, who are strong, fly free. We who are not, will return to the stars and light the way for our children.”
This line had some special impact on me. Don't know why exactly but it is something special just as the rest of this wonderful story. I can easily understand their point of view, how big and terryfying this place must be and the hardships they have to endure. This story is unique and special and you did a wonderful job writing it. :pinkiesmile:

"This is what I brought back when I reached my sixteenth week and took the Quest past rootspan." Her father breathed deeply, savouring the memory as it returned. "We were deep in winter then. The ponies had brought the cold and the snow to try and wipe us out, but we were strong! I crept all the way up to one of their Death Wheels and struck a blow for breezie-kind by taking their most precious possession!"
Misty's mouth fell open, but she was none the wiser. "...What is it?" she echoed again.
"There were more, of course," her father continued. "When they were struck against this-" he pointed out the side of the matchbox dresser "-they created fire! And that is how we survived that terrible cold."
"Wow!" Misty's chest swelled with a newfound respect for her father who had dared to steal fire from the gods. "Dad, that's amazing! You never said!"

So, Misty's dad is Prometheus?

Wow, that breezie getting smashed touched me more than some sad stories do. :ajsleepy:

Awesome story! Kinda reminds me of that Skillet song.

A long shadow flickered across the top of the World Tree as far above, something vast, terrible and pastel flew.

Extra points for hilarity if that was Fluttershy.

Big Mac, the most unexpected violent birthday party crasher ever. I imagine he would be horrified were he to ever learn of what's been happening.

This is both sad and strangely hilarious. These guys really need to find a safer apple tree to live in.

Comment posted by Garbhan deleted Aug 16th, 2014

It's not a comedy, but the scenario, the breezies' misunderstanding, and their lack of knowledge make it feel like it is. They're almost as ridiculous as Spike's behavior in that episode.

My Little Pony: Accidental Genocide is Tragic.

Is that a john wilkes boothe referen

There's some really nice pathos in here. Can't wait to see the development!

Easily my favorite contest entry so far. Well done.

TB3

This is brilliant, and deserves its place on the front page! Bravo!

You actually made me care about a Breezie... wow. Let me be the first to tell you that that was no small feat, I hate them. You also have me interested in a story with environmental themes... which I also find annoying, but not hate-able.

JAG

Genius. The Apples as these terrifying god-monsters is an idea I probably never would've thought of. But to the smaller creatures living in their trees, that's exactly what they'd be. It's hilarious, yet managed to turn fairly grim and 'scary' once the 'attack' started. Will definitely keep reading.

Yessssssss.

You have NO idea how much I've waited for someone to do a Borrowers style story with these guys in it. And the way you do it is so believable, it just pulls you right in.

Please tell me there's going to be more than just the three chapters. You really have something incredible on your hands here.

JAG

Manly tears were nearly shed. Nicely done, sir. Thumbs-upped and Tracked.

What about Granny Smith?

4855823 I guess she isn't involved in Applebucking, so they probably wouldn't have seen her around much. Especially not anywhere near their World Tree. :trollestia:

4855823
I imagine the Breezies wouldn't have much contact with Granny Smith, as her hip keeps her from doing much Applebucking.

This story is adorable and awesome, and must continue after the contest. Do it for the breezies! Please? :applecry:

Oh, now this is goooood. :pinkiehappy:

Love the setup, love the execution. Haven't seen that many "outside/in" contest stories yet, though most I saw dealt with either changelings or griffons. A breezie story, that is new. :ajsmug:

Looking forward to seeing Misty and Applebloom interact. Probably'll be quite surprised to find a breezie in their house, thinking she got left behind on the breezie migration.

Heh, it might be interesting if Twilight used her "turn ponies into Breezies" spell on the apple family. Possibly on Applebloom's excited insistence.
. . .
Err, on second thought... maybe that would be unwise. :applejackconfused:


I wonder though - how will the breezies react when they learn that their "war" was meaningless? That their "sworn enemy" didn't even know they were there, and that many hardships could've been avoided otherwise? :rainbowderp:

Sometimes it's easier to just hate. It's less complicated. :twilightoops:

I expect them to follow Sea-Breeze into "The Promised Land" the next time he comes around. :trollestia:

Hmm... come to think of it, what is that "pollen" the other breezies collect for, anyway? It must be extremely important, why else would they risk their life traveling across Equestria - if even traveling across a single Apple Orachard is already considered suicide? :rainbowhuh:

Maybe it's for making medicine or something. *shrug*
Life-prolonging medication, I hope, "50 weeks" is a bit short of a lifespan. :twilightoops:

4853564
Wait wait wait, please don't tell me the contest is forcing you to finish the story off in <arbitrary amount of time>. :twilightoops:

This idea is amazing, I want to see it fully realized, not just a three-chapter story. :fluttercry::facehoof:

...Can we maybe get a "sequel" afterwards? (aka chapter 4 and beyond)
Please please please please please plese please please please, with a whole sugar-cube on top? :unsuresweetie:

4855481 No idea what those are, but probably. Although a better real life example would be ants. Because these breezies are basically the exact same thing as thousands of species of ants, but less efficient.

Her father had just looked down at her, a hollow, defeated look in his eyes. “We are breezies,” he said simply with a sigh. “We lift ourselves.”

Oh man, the goosebumps I am getting from the "We lift ourselves" line.

Apple Bloom confirmed for unkillable pony, for a given value of unkillable.

4856393 I would assume a wheel of death... or a wagon wheel maybe.

Assuming Apple Bloom doesn't try for a CMC-only solution to the Breezie problem, Misty getting captured may be the best thing that ever happened to them. She may yet get to be the hero she so damn so desperately wanted to be.

On the other hand, Sweetie, Scootaloo, and Apple Bloom by themselves? Burned down Great Tree and accidental genocide.

Even worse, show and tell! The horror! :raritycry:

Ahh, there we go, Twilight. :twilightsmile:

Misty staggered backwards in shock, landing on her behind hard. “We’re nothing!” she croaked, through a dry throat. “We never mattered!”

:raritydespair:

Ehh, everything is relative.

In the streets, the ponies were tiny as they went about their daily business. Like dust mites.

See? Relativity in action.

Poor Mac.

"Oh." Misty looked down. Everything seemed slightly fuzzy. "Oh." There was a long splinter of wood from the wall protruding out of her chest. "O-oh."

:twilightoops:

Rise! RISE!

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