• Member Since 30th Dec, 2011
  • offline last seen Jan 19th, 2020

Blueshift


Comments ( 47 )

I'm so glad you're writing a sequel to two peas in a pod!

Nice.
So, I assume either the spirit of the dead unicorn aided him; or he took care of himself and, in his delusion, he imagined the dead pony to be alive.
Either way, this was a pretty cool read.
:twilightsmile:

Well... I am now crying...:fluttercry:

4228264 So bad:derpytongue2:

Stuff like this..is the second reason I follow and am in awe of you.

The first is your absurdist stuff. It's so random and silly and spot on.

This stuff. This is the kind of stuff that keeps me up at night and that I remember later, when I speak with friends about authors I enjoy. The stuff that haunts.

4228680

Thanks. And as a writer, the best bit is you never know what you're gonna get!

4228686
so it's like a box of chocolates?:derpyderp2:

Oh, cool! I normally get the twist endings, but that one took me by surprise. Way to go!

There needs to be more guard stories. royal guard, soldiers, Etc.

Another on the "saw it coming, enjoyed it anyway" pile.

Some of these war story or deep thought one-offs are awesome, and this is no exception.
Well done

I don't know where to start. Well, firstly:

“But you cannot fly.” My saviour grimaced at me. Through the dimming light, I saw a flash of teeth in his smile. “You lie here broken on the ground. And yet with my magic I could cast a levitation spell and fly out of this pit. Does this mean I am your moral superior?”

imgur.com/mIdHdaB.jpg

And secondly:
That ending though! He was a ghost?? WHAT THE HELL?

Thirdly (the actual comment):
I loved it. It was very detailed, and each word felt carefully sought out for, creating a deeper feeling to them than they probably originally intended to be. I love how, "It is a poor thing to die in the darkness," seemed to secretly foreshadow the ending. You flawlessly showed how he pitied himself, and the deeper reason to why he helped Hurricane than what everyone around him thought.

Wonderful. An up thumb and a star for you, good sir.

I LOVE that ending! I did not expect that at all and it was probably one of the best twist endings that I've read.

Immediately added that to my favorites.

:heart:

Well written!

Fantastic. Have a like, a fav, and a follow. "It is a poor thing to die in the dark." So sad, after realizing what he must have meant.

EDIT: However you chose the cover art, you made the right choice. As soon as I saw it, I had to read this.

4232408

Thanks! I made the art myself! Well, made some vectors, mashed a lot of filters and stuff, if you can call that 'making art'.

4232048

Thanks. I always think stories should have a good re-readability, so with my more serious ones, I make an effort to put things in them that makes the reader read the story in a completely different light the second time round.

I liked it well enough, but the ending doesn't really add much in my opinion. It doesn't add any rising sense of fridge horror or moral questions posed by Commander Hurricane, as we get only a scant three sentences about her thoughts on the matter. Whether what happened was tainted by the shock of her own wounds is one things, but not seeing Hurricane's take on the matter, how the experience affected her, dulls the impact.

Even not guessing the ending only adds so much. Everything would have been a shock-induced hallucination. Okay... That still doesn't add much meat to the tale. We still don't get to see how it affects her. It's just something that "happens."

Reminds me of Wilfred Owen's "Strange Meeting."

I like how Hurricane and the nameless soldier essentially have two different conversations at first--Hurricane keeps trying to approach it pragmatically, and the nameless soldier stubbornly refuses to engage her on anything other than a philosophical level. (For of course, the pragmatic level is no longer of concern to him . . .) And then he finally gets through to her, and she can't talk about it pragmatically anymore.

4238796

That's interesting. I've read a lot of his stuff, but not that one.

I only heard about this song afterwards, so I can't really say it is inspired or based on it, but I like it a lot now:

Fear the voice in the dark
Be aware now
Believe in dark wings and dark words
The shadow returns
Fear the voice in the dark
Be aware now
Black shadows they hide and they wait
But they soon will return

*sneaksneaksneak*

>.>

<.<

>.>

4259134

Oh wow Scribbler, that is awesome! Thank you!

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

Oh, you wrote the comic. I knew you'd shown it to me, I just couldn't recall the context.

Well, now I don't have to be disappointed. :D Well, beyond the "get some new friggin' ideas, mate" disappointment. :V

4283001

I wanted to try my hand at adaption, I'm allowed to steal from myself!

Also check my latest stories, I've been writing loads!

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

4283750
Yes, you are allowed. :V

And I've noticed! You've been a busy bee, which I highly approve! :D

I enjoyed it. I sort of want to read your original Transformers comic version now, too.

4294366

Hah, yeah. I avoided mentioning it, but secretly hoped someone else would notice the pleasant happenstance.

O_O :coolphoto: that ending :pinkiegasp: I love it! :heart::heart::heart::heart::moustache:

This is EPIC sad but EPIC.

The pacing, the story, and the narrative all make this little Fic amazing

I love stories like these short, simple, and to the put, but to how some that have a POWERFUL emotional sense to it makes it even better!

5/5 just amazing

I remember when this was a Transformers Mosaic.

Just as good now as then. :twilightsmile:

4305702

It's a small world!

Interesting, and rather well-written, but kind of... disappointing, I guess would be the best word for it. Maybe this is just me, but it feels like this is only a single scene from a bigger story, building up to something without actually delivering any payoff.

This is a solid short fic. :ajsmug:

I liked this very much. It has my favorite, good sir!

They way is shut, it was build by those who are dead, and the dead keep it.

This is perhaps one of the better tales I've heard of an encounter like this. Those who are dead wishing and helping those who might yet live out of compassion and acceptance of their own fate. I wonder if Hurricane will ever visit that cave and see that unicorn again, wouldn't that be something?

I think it's about time I did one of these.

That was good. Gives an interesting parallel to the events depicted in the Hearth's Warming pagent, with the six leaders' eventual need to either stand together to live or freeze to death separately.

I've listened to Scribbler's reading of this and, damn, it was good. I figured it took place way before the events of Hearth's Warming. I think the moments with Commander Hurricane and the unicorn soldier just planted the seeds of what's to come later on.

4626262 at first, i thought the opposite, that this couldn't really fit. but, having thought it over, you have a point.

this is a really interesting fic. i listened to scribbler's reading and, well, i was very impressed. that unicorn learned what he tried to teach hurricaine, though she seemed to forget most of it during the time of hearth's warming, since she treated unicorns the same as always, or maybe time just moved on and the unicorns started becoming so up themselves that she thought that unicorn was a rarity and that all others were just as she'd been told.

a good fic, deserving of it's reading, a Favorite and like from me

Wow. I did not see that ending coming.

A great pre-canon Equestria fic. Well-written and a perfect length. Have my fave!

I listened to Scribbler's reading. This is the sort of story I come here to find. I regret that I have but one upvote to give you.

Keep up the good work!

Shit spooky but I have herd of people or ponies getting objects from ghosts or spirits anyway such as Charles green aka angry grandpa this is the name of the video angry grandpa the man in the blue suit

Very atmospheric and one of those endings that seem so obvious after you've read them! I hadn't read the other-fandom version of this, so came into it cold. I'm glad.

A1X

You've put me into a wonderfully reflective mood after reading that. I really liked the ending! Heck, I really liked the whole story! :pinkiehappy: Have an upvote!

A bit predictable, but so well executed.

4259134
There's now another reading, too! This time by Ilya Leonov:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3YacUG2EsJ0

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