• Member Since 30th Dec, 2011
  • offline last seen Jan 19th, 2020



A pony from Trottingham brings the delicious taste of Marmite to Ponyville. Is Ponyville ready for the greatest British food of all time?

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 66 )

..but Pa might not

Poor Marmite Showers. I actually feel for the guy.

“There’s enough Marmite for everyone!”
There was a distinct lack of cheers.

This made me laugh so much!

“But doesn’t all cheese come in aerosol form?”

Is that what you think of Amareican cuisine?:duck:

Yay! :yay::yay:

I've waited so long for someone to write this! Now do one with Vegemite.

Don't like marmite, huh?

I don't blame them... probably racial memories of slurmsmooze causing their horror. Or the fact that it's marmite.

Anyhoo this was fun. Goopy evil fun.

One of these days I'm going to have to try Marmite.

EDIT: having just finished the story, perhaps not.

4900225 That's like us AMERICANS saying all British people equate coffee to black sludge.

BTW, I'm an American and I've never had cheese out of a can.

4900204 Dammit, you beat me to it! :twilightangry2:

“I guess you either love it or hate it.”

Yes, if you define 'love' as 'ignore it and everyone who ever mentions it'.
I for one do not love it.:twilightangry2:

I was permanently put of marmite when I was 7. I thought it was chocolate spread it put it all over my toast :pinkiesick:

:pinkiesick: And to think - this could have all been avoided if he'd made jelly babies his main selling-point instead... Ah, what might have been.


Marmite is not your friend! Marmite is the dark entreaty of evil in a jar, smugly masquerading as real food!

And the worst part is? No matter how many times you try it, across how many years...it never gets any better. Never more tolerable. Never more bearable.

It is the despoiler of toast.

Lovely fun story Blueshift :twilightblush:


>never had cheese out of a can.

Oh, you poor, poor thing...


If it isn't a slab, it ain't cheese.

4900525 what about string cheese? That stuff was a staple of my childhood. :unsuresweetie:


That's like us AMERICANS saying all British people equate coffee to black sludge.

Isn't it? If we tar our roads with marmite, don't you tar yours with coffee? Besides, coffee is banned from the shores of Britain under the dangerous foods act, due to its tendency to stop people having sexy accents by sticking their tongues to the roof of their mouths. :pinkiehappy:

but Marmite is delicious:fluttershysad:

True! The stuff that comes in a can is 'cheez', not cheese.

4900514 Cheese from a can is not high on my 'Foods to try' list. I don't even like american cheese singles (I only like american from the deli).

BTW, we met at BronyCon...


You have not lived until you've had Ritz crackers and Cheese Whiz. Just sayin'...

And I'm so sorry, I am horrible with names and faces, and I met so many people there...

From Top Gear's Guide to Britain:

Marmite: Polarizing and quintessentially British savoury spread made from an unwanted by-product of the beer-brewing process which other nations would throw away. The fact that the British like to eat it demonstrates a classic British quality - resourcefulness. And willingness to eat something that looks and tastes like the contents of a smoker's lungs.

I think you nailed it.

4901700 Ironically, CheeseWhiz is a very popular topping on cheesesteaks in my area...

I'm also terrible with names.

Twilight. You're such a dick. But yeah, I'm with Noteworthy, "YOU SICKEN ME!", is quite the reaction to hearing how its made.

Nice touch on the Cloud Kicker scene.

“I’m okay, I’m okay!” Twilight dry-heaved, as then more Marmite from the vat hit her in the face. “BLAAAARGH!” she screamed, falling over, coated in black Marmite and somehow retching up more.
“What is it? What is it?” Sweetie Belle looked up with her blindfolded eyes, opening her mouth in wonder. A torrent of Marmite fell straight down her throat. “BLAAAAAARGH!” Sweetie Belle screamed, vomiting it straight back up in some sort of black gungy fountain.

Showing two speakers in one paragraph for some reason despite it copy-paste saying there is a space between the two independent speakers. Looks like a format error on importing? *shrug*

Gawd, cheese outside of an aerosol can? That dude's just spreading discord EVERYWHERE!
What a sicko. :pinkiesick:

Fun story. Nice bit with Lemon Drops and you-know-who. xD

Even as a loyal Vegemiter, I had to laugh my ass off at this story.

Poor Marmite Showers.

Purely because this story has Marmite in it, it gets my automatic fav and like :raritystarry::pinkiehappy:

"Actually not too bad," Spike remarked. "Reminds me a bit of those muffins Applejack and Pinkie made."

Vegemite is better...

Having worked in the fancy cheese department of a grocery store, I'm going to have to join the ranks of Americans offended by your presumptions about our experience with putrefied bovine lactation.

Still, poor Marmite Showers. If he had just pushed the sweets, he'd probably have had much more success. You have to know the market.

In any case, thank you for one of the best stories about brewery byproducts on the site. :twilightsmile:

10/10 would kill time in a fanfic challenge with again.

Clearly he should have been selling Vegimite!

4903243 How odd. Yeah, it was missing a double-space, which somehow merged them into one

I'll personally rain down hell upon you with the power of brenston pickles you heretic.

Ive heard of Vegemite which sounds good enough, but I have never heard of Marmite...

And the roads did run with rivers of vomitus and the foals wept to see their fathers and mothers spread before them in the throes of agony. Lo, for the same nation that puts steak sauce on pancakes did attempt to spread their tastes far and wide and the ponies of Equestria did weep for their lack of maple syrup.

EDIT: I posted this BEFORE I read the story because yuck. After reading it, very apropos.

Anything with Marmite should have the Dark tag.

Wow Fimfiction really hates marmite apparently. Guess I'm in the minority.

Anyway, this was a funny little story. Although, I must say, I have never seen someone have quite such a violent reaction to marmite - I sincerely hope you had a better one than that Blueshift.

Pony food torture: Marmite or meat.

Choose one and only one.

4900595 That is the delicious exception.

4906397 So a griffin immigrates to Canterlot and opens a Marmite shop...

Marmite!? :twilightoops: God help us all....

I prefer Muenster cheese, myself. (Made from freshly-squeezed Muensters.:pinkiehappy:)
In the beginning, Marmite is described as a black pony with a yellow main.
Apart from that, it's a cute story.

Author Interviewer

Pretty much this.

I actually like Marmite. :raritydespair:

This was fantastic. I've had the displeasure of trying marmite and yeah...it was pretty much this

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