When ponies are being gossipy, they call Inkie and Blinkie "Trottingham Twins." For one month, they are the same age. It was during one such July they murdered their father in cold blood and fled their home.
Built around Malcolm Middleton's "Fight Like The Night."
"Do what you like as long as you can live with yourself. Don't worry about anything because we've no idea about what's actually happening and why we're here. … 'Skip into the flames.' That sums it up for me - don't be scared." - Malcolm Middleton
Chapters (1)
Two things before other people comment:
1) I know mares urinate (rather than sweat) to express being in heat, but having Inkie rub her sister's piss on her would have been very, quite gross. Also these ponies don't seem to have the required orifice for that? Pretty sure they reproduce by holding hooves and looking into each others eyes. Maybe kissing? Then the foals just sort of bud off from the mare. Trying not to think about how they use the bathroom, but starfish keep coming to mind.
2) In response to the description, yes that did escalate rather quickly. I'm as terrible at descriptions as I am at everything else.
Wow... That is touching in a macabre sort of way. Well done.
Ye gods... such depth of character and overpowering emotion I have not seen. I lack the eloquence to properly describe how this story made me feel, so let me just say that it was amazing.
Oh, but you know what the really terrible thing is? This story will never be as well recognized as Luna Shoves a Cellphone Up Her Plot.
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The process whereby I become a completely insane, bitter shell of myself has begun.
Fantastic.
Well, that was certainly depressing. Well written, but depressing none the less.
I guess I can take solace in the fact that Pinkie will turn her father's funeral into a party.
s3.amazonaws.com/bronibooru/a553ce602ed4ad3d90e547836c028047.jpg
(Nope. Still depressing.
)
Reminds me of Dr Manhattan. Also, I lol'ed.
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Dr Manhattan? I'm not sure I follow.
Dr Manhattan from Watchmen. When the story is being told from his perspective he jumps back and forth non-chronologically between time periods.
This hit me right in the feels, it really was a literary work of art...
media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lttcrjiCyD1qht847.gif
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I would rather say it would be incredibly arousing.
Wait, you actually understood what was going on here?dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Soarin_dayum.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Spitfire_dayum.png
Brilliant, disturbing, fascinating. Hits all the right notes, even if I'm not too keen on reading about pony estrus cycles. (The ritualization thereof, on the other hand, is intriguing at least.)
In from PP's blog.
I can't help but think that the entire thing falls down on the basis that no-one murdered anyone. It seems to be written as an accident but treating it as murder, and everything just feels disjointed and procedural from there—just the grinding reality of cause and effect.
That said, I think it's always worth laying my possible biases to bare to show how they are interfering:
1. I am a philosopher and study of human learning and emotional interactions. People—in the wider societal sense—are as ignorant as they are blind, and reading a story built on the 'downer' side of that isn't exactly up my street. The real world is a fairly vile place and I don't particularly want to read a fiction that reflects it.
2. Every use of an estrus cycle in pony fiction has felt absurd. It has not, and likely never will, make any kind of sense with regard to society as canon depicts it. These ponies are unique in almost every single detail and the fact that real ponies have such a thing is no justification for pushing it where it doesn't fit.
3. I'm perfectly fine—one might even say drawn—to mood pieces, but they still have to actually do something to entertain me. The only function of the 'story', as far as I can tell, is that Inkie and Blinkie share their strife as a coping mechanism, but this isn't told as a story. It's not in doubt, or jeopardy, or presented with a twist. The bleakness of the build-up makes the ending equally as bleak. The status quo didn't seem to be challenged, so I'm not quite sure what the author's intention actually was, but I got nothing out of it as a reader.
4. I'm 36. I have an awful lot of knowledge—and a little less experience, if I'm honest—regarding emotions. I tend know more about other people's emotions than they usually do, so I remain ever vigilant regarding the difference between a story that didn't work, and a story that is simply expressing that which is mundane to me. If this is a case of the latter, then bra-fucking-vo—you probably hit the nail right on the head and highlighted the grim facts about normalizing that which is demonstrably abnormal.
5. I am a curmudgeon of the highest order.
Good day to you, sir.
-Scott
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Perhaps I am insensitive to postmodernist nihilism and such but... where is the brilliance, fascination or disturbing elements? It seemed... bland, tedious, generic. Codependent young spinsters-in-training make a molehill into Everest by using the power of self-aggranizement. An accident? No! My mighty and powerful will makes no accidents! It all felt like I've read it before. Dying towns and dysfunctional families are everywhere. If you want disturbing Southern Gothic but don't want to invest a lot of time in "The Sound and the Fury" try reading "A Rose for Emily." It's online and will really get to you.
I came to read this story on the basis of your review alone. I trusted you. I said, "Present likes it, it must be awesome!" It put its premise out at the beginning and never payed anything off, merely limped from one stagnating moment to the next like a plodding draft horse.
To tell the truth the only thing that ever continued to affect me, and still does to this day, is Pinkie's fate in "120 Days of Blueblood." I cannot tell you why or how I managed civility or friedliness with Bronystories after seeing it. You want haunting, it still makes me sick. Sometimes I still toy with the idea of yelling at him. So... seriously don't ever read it. You'll live longer and smile more.
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Stop trusting me. You are obviously far more well-read than I. :B
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I wasn't sure if you were trolling everyone or not.
If you honestly enjoyed it, then good for you. I regard this with the same embarrassment I regard everything I've done more than about five minutes ago, but interpretation is at least 50% of art, so maybe you're just a better man than us all.
Or maybe you're really shit at it.
Someday, scientists working in the LHC will discover the "Art Particle" and produce an objective standard of human expression. Until then, you went out on a limb with your recommendation and got burned, but at least you were willing to go out on a limb. Most critics won't do that.
Or you just trolled me and at least six other people pretty damn hard.
Either way, you should own it like a modern woman.
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I will say, though,
I laughed.
Definitely among the top comments I've received. Yousir, may mock me any day of the week.
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It is fatalism.
A fic inspired by indie dramas (fanfic equivalent of no-name actors, alternative song, saddish ending, dad gets killed) receives the reception of an indie drama (moreorless ignored). Then someone tries to promote it beyond its destiny, but his efforts accomplish nothing.
Because fate.
My premise has been confirmed. I win.
2533972
This.
I genuinely liked your story.
I'm sorry. :(
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Like I said, until someone finds the Art (Inspired) Particle and presents a formal dissertation on how many micromeanings are to be found in each fanfic, than all statements are of equal value.
To engage in some "self-aggranizement," I like both My Little Dashie and Cupcakes. For most people, it is a one or the other deal, deciding whether you fall on the "dark" or "autistic" side of the fandom, but I can appreciate both on their strengths. I could also write an entire essay on their obvious weaknesses. How MLD is horrifying in its picture of the fandom and how Cupcakes is so feeble as to be funny.
I am in somewhat of an awkward position here, because it is my story we're talking about, but I can at least say that writing a fic recommendation I've only ever done once. And at the time I had about 10 followers, so there was less than nothing on the line.
You clicked publish, and that is the greatest thing someone can do around here. Enjoy it.
I'm wondering if presentperfect liked this story because it was short. He may well be one of those kinds of readers. Unfortunately, I'm not. I can't put my finger on what needs to be added, but this story felt skeletal, like we barely got any exposure in any of these time periods at all.
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Dude, I am so sorry for the rambling. I mean... I never want to be 'that guy' but it's true that I have formal training and have had the chance to read a lot of works from many periods and places. So your mileage of my bullhonkus may vary.
And totally, if you dug this you'll dig "A Rose for Emily."
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Minor point of contention: I may be incorrect in my assumption, but I do not believe that 'Dark' and 'Autistic' are actual antipodes. Unless you merely mean to insult the autistic. I recognize that the PoMo/nihilist contingent do not think much of insults.
I remain confused by your usage.
Also: weak though it is, Cupcakes still offends and horrifies. Like FoE.
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Most of the people who like Cupcakes (and troll/gorefics in general) will complain that the fandom is being ruined by autistic man-children who wear MLP merchandise in public and cry about My Little Dashie while writing long ass letters to people on DA complaining about the depiction of their waifu.
Most of the people who like My Little Dashie will complain that the fandom is being ruined by grimdark obsessed deviant trolls who spatter gore and rape all over a little girl's show, embarrassing everyone involved and scarring innocent children in order to fuel their insatiable murderboners.
And right now you're repeatedly calling me a nihilist, despite the fact that I have demonstrated a set of values (the existence of something is superior to its absence, existence as the meaning in itself, and the embrace of destiny as a sign of authentic willing).
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Willing destiny. I'm back in my philosophy course. True, false, nonesense, paradox.
I tend to take the second position in a certain sense. I find the material moderately inappropriate given the source material. It feels even more ridiculous. The folks seem desperate and pathetic, the three-year-old throwing things. As schmaltzy as My Little Dashy may or may not be it in some sense falls within the idea of the show. Things the troll and gore folks tend to ignore, disdain or deny, love and caring. Sure, you can classify me as stupid and pathetic, but I write about love and happiness, between political commentary and social philosophy. So I have a horse in the race, it's just less autistic.
By the by: wearing the clothes allows you to meet women. Anecdotal evidence is not scientific but it exists. Doesn't do me much good, I'm in a relationship and male-leaning bisexual, but it's a fact.
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That's the point?
At least when I write it. My gorefics are designed to be absurd and bizarre. I want to be beyond the pale, to quote a blog a wrote,
But the truth about what ruins this fandom?
Star Trek is over 40 years old. It has spawned 6 TV series, 12 movies (several of which did spectacularly well), has featured Shakespearean actors in leading roles, has inspired/been referenced by pretty much everything one could imagine, and yet, when someone says Trekkie the immediate image is of a virgin in Klingon make-up.
This fandom was ruined by the fact that it was a fandom. From the moment a bunch of people became interested in something that was different from things other people were interested in, we were going to be branded as autistic and whatever the Hell else.
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Well now I am curious. Why? Just bored? I guess that's the explanation for Tarnished Silver and half the things Bronystories does.
Good read, has a good heavy, thick depressing atmosphere to it. Very lean too, leaves much up to the reader. Or maybe that's because I'm focusing on the murder. It's about the two sisters, so scratch that part about 'leaves much up to the reader'. Greenthumbed.
Cover image source?
5188867 Oh yeah, from when they entered the party-decorated silo. I thought there was an episode from the latest season which I might've missed.
Fuller review here, but in brief: I admire the way this makes telly work, and getting "Estrus Vigil Party" to be neither cloppy nor (that) squicky is a real achievement. On the downside, I'm not fond of song lyrics in fics and the whole thing isn't Equestrian enough for my taste. Liked, though.