• Member Since 1st Feb, 2012
  • offline last seen 6 hours ago

JMac


Hi. I'm just some guy, you know.

Sequels1

E

Good Fortune began life, very literally, as an accident. His inauspicious beginning doesn't slow this extraordinary foal down at all.

Thirty-sixth place in the Most Dangerous Group Contest!

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 28 )

Well, that was a thing. :applejackconfused:

Not all ponies with wings and a horn are alicorns.
Not all alicorns have wings and a horn.

“Good Fortune, an alicorn does not tell ponies of the things we see,” said Princess Celestia, very sternly.

So she lies?

Try again.

Heh, well theres a stab at prefect. Ousides forces react!
Three point five Outta five.

Oh Goodie a story, careful not to lose an eye.

And if he’s a pegasi he’ll be brilliant and beautiful

Pretty sure you meant to use the singular there.

Neither of the alleles for our breeds dominates the other, and we will most likely cancel each other out.

Huh. So the alleles for breed could be expressed as U and P, such that UP makes an earth pony?
Hmm, but that doesn't explain massive earth pony clans like the Apples. They'd have to win the coin flip every time, and I refuse to consider the alternative. Eh, it's pony genetics. Stuff be crazy, yo.

There's something bizarrely adorable about a little kid telling the ruler of his country about his comic book headcanon.

As for the ending, I have only one thing to say: what does this say about Pinkie Pie? :pinkiehappy:

Great work. Thank you for it. Good fortune in the contest!

4605911
In context, I think it's more along the lines of "an alicorn does not directly inform the populous of vague prophetic abilities, instead using those abilities to improve society." Otherwise, the princesses would be swamped with petitioners wanting to know the future.

So...I started reading but the first few paragraphs seem to feel the gender of the two characters is more flexible than I'm used to. I'll try and get into it later. :twilightsheepish:

Now this is a REAL story. The one that exists to be remembered! :pinkiehappy:

This was a pretty interesting idea, a nifty twist on the black-and-red-alicorn-that's-perfect-in-every-way-and-is-therefor-a-boring-spoothead story trope.
It gets an upvote from me.

Very novel indeed, and good for all the right reasons. I do like a new concept, but I love a well-executed new concept. Well done. :twilightsmile:

4607894
It took me a while to get used to it, but they possess fairly distinctive voices, so it balances out. :raritywink:


4619417 4607894 I'm sorry, but I need this explained. I've reread the opening trying to find what you're trying to point out and I just can't hear it. To me, Careful and Pensive sound like a bantering married couple; and even though it takes place in a laboratory the scene feels very domestic.

In context, I think it's more along the lines of "an alicorn does not directly inform the populous of vague prophetic abilities, instead using those abilities to improve society." Otherwise, the princesses would be swamped with petitioners wanting to know the future.

4607331

Yeah, I don't get how anyone would think this scene is about Celestia lying. Helping a pony reach their best destiny is a delicate operation, and coming right out and telling them about their future is the most ham-handed (hooved?) thing you can do. In my head canon this is why Celestia never ever give Twilight detailed instructions. Anyway, in this scene Celestia is just warning off little Goodie, who is getting a bit too playful dropping hints about his daddy's future.

There were some typos in here (scare instead of scar, for instance) but I think the real "flaw" with this story is just that it is very much a fluff piece. Fluff pieces can be alright, but this one didn't really do anything for me at all. The alicorn OC didn't feel terribly interesting or distinctive to me, and the story as a whole didn't really go anywhere, as fluff pieces tend to be wont to do. It feels rather glurgy to me.

Let the commenting commence! (That only sounded slightly less silly in my head :twilightsheepish:)

First of, this story is cute and heartwarming and just perfect in my opinion. I don't think there is a red-and-black alicorn OC I could care more about. :derpytongue2:

Next up:

“That’s good to know. Anyway, I borrowed another meter from Ponder over in Field Modeling. It’s fully charged.”

That pony's full name wouldn't happen to be "Ponder Stibbons", would it? :ajsmug:

And lastly, I love that last line. I absolutely love the concept of "hunches", not just as something alicorns do, but as a driving force in Equestria. Of course Pinkie has hunches, but they open up so much potential for side characters, too. I have one story where a side character talks about the importance of hunches, or another story where I joke with the concept that every pony with a fluffy mane automatically has some extent of Pinkie Sense. ("Strange, my tail is twitch-" crash)

All in all, five out of five Quizzicals, but since I have neither Quizzicals nor Cluttersteps, just have some love instead. :heart::heart::heart::heart::heart:

4647697 Thanks.

Yes, Dr. Ponder is a ponified Ponder Stibbons. You may have also noticed that I stole most of my magic physics from Terry Pratchett.

As far as hunches, maybe, just maybe, Goodie will get to be King of the Gypsies someday. And maybe Pensive and Careful will discover how to detect earth pony magic.

4650803

But of course. If the things were certain, it wouldn't be a hunch. :twilightsheepish:

Also, if anypony can help him become the King of the Gypsies, it will be an old unicorn wizzard with extraordinarily bad luck and a talent for not dying.

Charming little story, although there was one error: it should have been '...foal he was meant to be...'. (One of the hazards of doing your own proofreading is you can't turn it off :twilightblush:) Other than that, it was fine. :pinkiehappy:

4607331 I'e meant to make note that definitive words on the subject of pony genetics are here. link So UP is an earth pony. So is UE. PE. and, or course, EE.

To expand on the subject, her responce to my question

Well there may be a scale of dominance for wing versus horn alleles with one being favored over another, though it is my guess on that one that there are several gene loci, possibly across several chromosomes relating to the development of wings or horns and
A, a wing plus a horn allele cancel each other out -earth pony baby
B, you need to have homozygous pairs of them for either to develop. -earth pony baby
Or possibly
C, possession of the genes for development of both horns and wings is associated with maldevelopment and infant mortality, so no alicorns are born.
This could also depend on which of the horn and wing alleles the offspring receives, just as height depends on several different alleles and while the mutation of one which causes achondroplasia is mostly harmless, malfunction of the other height determining genes can cause death or debilitating disease.
The "natural" alicorns we know seem to at least be descended from an unrecorded and much earlier population and possess a real cocktail of very rare recessive genes, some of which may not exist in the non-royal population and allow wings and horns to develop in conjunction.
But basically, to answer your question, yes, when one dominant gene is removed from the equation it can become apparent that one recessive gene is more dominant than the other. There may also be the case of one trait simply being the result of an incomplete dominant like in the case of blond hair, which occurs when the alleles for production of the two main hair pigments only function at low levels. Whichever allele is functioning more will determine the colour of blond (strawberry to dirty) and how much it functions determines the shade (platinum to dark)
Or it may be like the development of sexual organs where all developing human offspring (it varies from species to species but this basically applies to most placentals) begin as physically female and the production of high levels of testosterone due to the presence of a Y chromosome causes the penis and testes to develop. It may be that all pony foetuses begin as earth type and the presence of enough a a specific hormone produced by a pegasus or unicorn allele allows that trait to develop, but if they exist in equal proportions they cancel each other with possibly just a few odd effects on hormonal development in the infant.

dotteral rocks!!!

This was absolutely delightful. I was wondering where in the world you were going with it, since Goodie was far too perfect for there to actually be any story, something had to go wrong somewhere, somehow. I was pleasantly surprised by exactly where it did end up! Very nicely done.

I never thought I'd see the day where someone could write a good alicorn OC. You just proved me wrong. Bravo.

Ribbon for you sir/madam/transcendent being:
i.imgur.com/6MrWqNZ.png

5233965 Thank you. It's always good to get a ribbon.

“In other words, he acts like a yearling foal?” asked Careful, arching an eyebrow.

“Exactly!”

“There’s a reason for that, Professor.”

“Well… yes. Of course.”

:rainbowlaugh:

Maybe they should just let the kid be a kid for a while :facehoof:

Actually, you wished your ‘help’ on us when you found out he was an alicorn, thought Careful. And we agreed because you’re our boss.

Hah! Stern Warning got served :rainbowwild:

“No difference between him and the Princesses has been detected. The only ones silent on this are the Princesses themselves.”

Maybe they don't want it to be publicly known that they were also just freak accidents :rainbowwild:
Also, it might cause a rush of pregnant mares exposing themselves to potentially harmful magic in order to get an alicorn foal :facehoof:

“Besides, there isn’t going to be a new Captain Equestria. Not in my headcanon. He didn’t die in the griffon war, he was frozen, and the Superb Serum kept him alive, so he’s coming back! I plan to write fanfiction about it someday.”

This is getting a bit meta :rainbowwild:

“We can have a word with Professor Warning. But you should be prepared for your Daddy to be proven wrong. He is implying that Clover the Clever was wrong about the magic force, after all.”

Goodie just grinned.

This had me laughing much harder than it probably should have :rainbowlaugh:

“So the Princesses have to be cautious about how they influence things,” mused Careful.

“Yep. And this bothers them a lot. I think Princess Celestia worries all the time, but she won’t let on how she feels.”

Ohai Sunset Shimmer. I can imagine that bothered Celestia quite a bit :trixieshiftright:

There was never, ever again any suggestion that Goodie should be on display in a sideshow.

In your face, old coot! :derpytongue2:

Nothing lasts forever.

Dun dun dunnn?

Dr. Well sighed. “The muscles are atrophying, beginning at the joints, but spreading everywhere. It spread visibly during the examination.”

Hmkay. That does explain why the princesses kept quiet. They probably saw this coming.

“Goodie, how did you know that was going to happen.”

“I just had a feeling, Dad.”

Ohhhhhhhh. His Alicorn way of seeing things didn't disappear :pinkiegasp:

This was great. Magnificent addition to those lovely stories of the Most Dangerous Game :twilightsmile:

Some remarks and corrections:
> “At least the birthday party invites out number the bills and junk mail, Pensive.”
"outnumber" is one word ;)
> it seemed that the Princess’ had made the right decision
"the princesses". Plural, not possessive.
“It’s the process that changed him, it’s reversing,”
I'm fairly sure this is a comma splice.
> He knew this would happen, he knew it all along.
Another comma splice.
> “Goodie, how did you know that was going to happen.”
Probably needs a question mark.

Very well-written! I enjoyed the scientific aspect of pony genes, since that was briefly touched on in the show (albeit with a... less monogamous undertone with Mr. Cake's face during his explanation :twilightoops:). In a universe that is primarily focused on magic and fantasy with a smattering of steampunkesque machinery... it's fun to read a more scientific scenario! After all, science and fantasy can happily co-exist.

Goodie's parents, especially his mother, were quite likeable. Goodie himself was sugary sweet - just wanted to pinch his little cheek! I feel bad for what happened to him, but it seems to me that's for the best. I think he'll be happier at home than stuck in the politics of leadership. :twilightsmile: Good work!

5431665 Thank you very much (I actually wrote a sequel more so I could use Pensive and Careful again, who I kinda like even more than Goodie).

I really like the "Say Something Nice" Group concept.

5431700 I saw the sequel and I'll be reading it today for sure! :pinkiehappy:

It's something I really want to perpetuate - there's too much negativity, which helps no one. Of course, blind positivity can be harmful, too (as we can't learn from it) but sometimes I, myself, just want a bit of a confidence boost. I can't speak for anyone else, and of course I couldn't prove it in court, but I'll never leave a dishonest comment just to adhere to the group's rule. Every comment I leave, I mean every word! :twilightsmile:

Finished reviewing story for Olympus: as I expected, it gets in easily. 'Nuff said, I guess.

Review is here, as always.

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I'm from The Pleasant Commentator and Review Group!,
And I have a review for you.

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