• Member Since 30th Dec, 2011
  • offline last seen Jan 19th, 2020

Blueshift


T

Leaky Secrets has worked tirelessly to expose the secrets of corrupt governments, asking nothing in return except fame, wealth and mares. After escaping the wrath of the Griffon Republic by hiding in the Equestrian Embassy, he meets a delighted Twilight Sparkle.

He is her hero.

Never meet your heroes.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 53 )

This cheered me up when I needed it the most. Celestia bless you, you genius.

What the fuck is this

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Spike!” she bellowed, “get a very large battering ram and a gelding iron.” Her right eye began to twitch. “We’re about to violate several international laws!”

Shouldn't the get be capitalized as the previous sentence(Spike!) ended?

also I'm sad that this was so short

...Are you Julian Assange?

What an ass that pony was....

On a completely unrelated note, may i be the first to suggest a rater descriptive and in detail explanation on how that battering ram was put to use?

And yet truth is always stranger that fiction. Doubly, in this case.

Nice job!

Will you marry me?

I like it, but I'll need to read more before I can honestly thumb it up, my friend.

The Gelding Iron made me smile :pinkiecrazy:
All in all though not bad

Not funny. And I'm pretty sure Julian Assange remembers the name of Bradley Manning. :facehoof:

Hmm... how should I put this...
:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:
Yep, that about does it!

Haha current humor

Not funny.

The penguins are set to become the new dodo. :unsuresweetie:

Or rather, I get it, but I don't know what's supposed to make it funny...

I think Leaky is about to leak...something red and sticky.

This story made me smile. In unrelated news, Julian Assange is reported to be bored and stressed in his new home away from home, the Ecuadoran embassy in Britain.

you know what twilight has to say about all of this? :rainbowhuh: once she finds him? :applejackunsure:

encrypted-tbn3.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRnTqpc-NONY-VEuKvuHQkPZEPQZ_fRxqcPvN6Lv89_B_Eq8_H_Sg

:rainbowderp:

Why so much butthurt? :applejackunsure: This was pretty ridiculous though, I giggled.

I guess there's a leak that's about to get clogged up.

Ezn

I loled.

Is funny. :twilightangry2:

(For the record, I applaud the idea of Wikileaks, think that Bradley Manning has been treated in an utterly unacceptable and shameful way, and that Julian Assange appears to be an egotistic asshat who's doing a great job tainting Wikileaks with his idiotic antics. 'Cause really, anyone who thinks Sweden is more likely to turn him over to the US than UK is nearly terminally clueless.)

1105866

10% negative votes is about my average I think. I was expecting more to be honest.

1108251

Oh yes, same. Frankly I think everyone in the whole situation has behaved shockingly. I don't think he's in danger of being extradited to the US, but I imagine Sweden has been leaned on to throw the book at him and lock him up for a long time.

If the US wanted him, they could have got him. Heck the UK is the country who extradited that kid to the US whose 'crime' was having a website with links to online copyrighted material, which isn't illegal in the UK, and might not even be illegal in the US. What;'s next, are we going to extradite our citizens who have had extra marital affairs to Saudi Arabia to be stoned to death?

I like the idea of Wikileaks too. I'm glad that the governments of the world have an extra reason to look over their shoulder when carrying out illegal activities. But if you're going to set yourself up as the figurehead of such an organisation that exposes corruption (and there's no reason such a thing needs such a public figurehead) then you'd better be sure you're a moral paradigm and not, you know, going around boning everything in sight.

This was released on my birthday insta fave
:twilightangry2: it's time to kick plot and read books and I'm all outa books

404

1108386
I don't have any problem with Wikileaks' supposed cause, I just wish that they hadn't edited that helicopter footage to make the military look worse "Running Man" style, or leaked the names of those Afghan informants.

But anyway, that was pretty stupid of Leaky toward the end, what embassy can protect him from a mare who can teleport?

He pissed off the most powerful mortal magic user in existence, who also seems to keep a gelding iron around the house. Speaking of which, why does she have that:rainbowhuh:?

1112474
1114696

Don't get the wrong idea, it's just a type of golf club.:facehoof: Hits the balls real far.:twilightsmile: Still gonna hurt...:twilightangry2:

> submitting this to Reddit

> you've already submitted it

> it's at -7 downvotes

Did you piss off a downvote bot or something? dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_TwilightWut.png

Twilight is going to accuse someone of rape...

I liked it. I didn't like the Julian Assange comparison but hell I can't down vote you for having an opinion.

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

Ohhhhh. Man, I totally forgot this guy even existed. (They have won!)

To be honest, my reaction was kind of "Huh, that was okay" until I saw the comment telling me just what was going on here. But that means this can't really stand on its own without the parody gimmick. Damn, I'm evaluating pony fanfics with the same critical eye as SCP articles. :/ I guess my assessment is "BLUES I AM DISAPPOINT".

Also, wtf is "Hull" a reference to? I know it's got to be.

1625604

I dunno PP, I mean you're the only person in the world not to get it, so maybe it is you is disappoint in youself :pinkiesad2:

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

1626114
NO YOU ARE THE LICKERS OF BUTTS :|

To be honest, I kinda did read this long after Assange ceased to be a person of interest in the news, so there's not that immediate temporal association to be made.

This fic is very, very relevant to my interests (and hilarious) :pinkiehappy:

1263096
It took me until the end to get that it was a Julian Assange joke as well.

I dislike Julian Assange.
1. He got a lot of people killed.
2. If you're going to go out in a warzone, in what could be misconstrued as enemy attire, and point a shoulder mounted device at an attack helicopter, you're going to get shot.

Naturally, I found this to be very funny.

1108386 Read the below comment, please.

Hi Blueshift. I hope you don't mind, but this fic tickled me so much that I've put together an audio version on YouTube.

3233867

Oh wow, fantastic! Thanks!

“Spike!” she bellowed, “get a very large battering ram and a gelding iron.” Her right eye began to twitch. “We’re about to violate several international laws!”

I think I have a new favorite quote.

i listened to scribbler's reading of this (i seem to learn about a lot of fics that way) and really enjoyed it. though, how twilight couldn't tell leaky was talking out his flank i'll never know

I have absolutely no idea what just happened.

But I'm amused by the idea of Twilight having an international breakdown.

In retrospect, seeing how Wikileaks has destroyed their reputation (they're not even pretending to be balanced or without an agenda any more), this is even more accurate.

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