The Waiting Room

Bon Bon is with Lyra at the Doctor's Office waiting to be called back for her yearly checkup. When a rather frightened young filly comes in with her mother, the two best friends--especially Lyra-- try their hardest to help her out.

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 8 )

Viewing 1 - 50 of 8
- Newest First
- Oldest First

Applejack224

Applejack224 #1 · Aug 27th, 2016 · · ·

Cute

Little-Miss-Minty

Little-Miss-Minty #2 · Aug 27th, 2016 · · ·

7515065
Thank you.

fallen starr

fallen starr #3 · Aug 27th, 2016 · · ·

This is really cute. I think that, maybe, the part at the every end when Nurse Redheart asks Lyra about the filly is unneeded because by then the readers already understand that she is very upset and the nurse really has no way of knowing that Lyra did anything.

Also, I would like to commend you on describing how your ocs looked, but I also the canon ponies should be described too. Sure, everyone on this site should know what they look like, but some probably dong and it's just something good to get into the practice of. You can even bring out some of their personality while doing that.

Anyway, this was a sweet little one shot. Keep writing and practicing!

Little-Miss-Minty

Little-Miss-Minty #4 · Aug 27th, 2016 · · ·

7516004 Thank you for taking the time to read and comment my story. Your critique will be taken into consideration while writing future stories/ and fics; thanks for the suggestions!

fallen starr