• Member Since 5th Feb, 2014
  • offline last seen 6 hours ago

Autum Breeze


a home-grown australian who embraced being a member of the fandom 2 days before joining. Willingly delved into the fandom whole-heartedly and has never looked back

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When Sunset Shimmer wakes up in a strange forest she doesn't recognize after seeing another her at her new school Canterlot High and finds she is now a pony, she doesn't know what's going on.

what's more, when she eats some glowing fruit because she's starving, it takes a strange turn she could have never expected.

And scootaloo, after running away from the orphanage, gets a second shot at life.

new cover art provided by Princess Glitzy, who you can find HERE and this plus her other wonderful works you can find HERE

Featured 27/10/2019. Fitting it get featured during it's final udapte. A kind swan song. thank you all

Chapters (25)
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Comments ( 971 )

This should be interesting. We never did learn what happened to the human world Sunset Shimmer, assuming there was one of course. :eeyup:

I'm going to bet that Twilight's going to have to breastfeed Sunset Shimmer. :trixieshiftleft:

3934256

Why not an Eucledia? It would be an interesting turn.

well, I would say that the Sunset Shimmer from earth was on another city like the Twilight of the movie, but then again this sounds really interesting

the only thing that bothered me is the fact that you spelled Zecora's name like "Zecroa" too many times, besides that this is a very interesting story

You kept misspelling Zecora as Zecroa
Nice story so far

Environmentalist Zecora: Rare and endangered plant found in the Everfree. "I'll have it burnt down." :trollestia:

3934536 Because said plant can turn you into a baby if you so much as touch it.

uhhhhhhh....

I'll keep reading for now. I wanna see where this story goes

3934657
I understand the purpose story-wise, but imagine if we burnt down every plant that was "bad" for us. I could think of maybe ten off the back of my head that would be extinct as a result. I just found the solution to be somewhat silly, like a bad knee-jerk. Again, I understand the implications of it for story purposes, but it really doesn't seem like a practical reaction to me. Well let's not worry about it as I'm not here to argue over plants. :twilightsheepish:

Inspired is a such strong word for this chapter. It feels almost word for word.

No problems, great so far, you had my curiosity now you have my attention

3934491 I didn't see any evidence of that in the movie, from what I saw Twilight just didn't exist in that world. I don't mean to sound gruff with this

just like the Zecroa she knew, this Zecroa

:facehoof: ... aaaand I'm out.

3935197
I believe there was one point where the Equestria Girls Pinkie said she knew of a Twilight Sparkle in the next town over.

3936685 yes, but there was never a mention of Sunset Shimmer's human self. we only learned of the one from equestria who went to the human world. that was my point.

3936898
I agree that that's something never explored that should have been. I was just answering a raised point.

3934506 i will try to fix that problem with her name

3934536 she did that because the plant was too dangerous. as a shaman, she could not let it remain in a place so close to Ponyville where it could endanger other ponies.

think of what would happen if Pinkie found them and bake them into pies or cakes that she shared with the whole town. Can you say Disaster worse than Discord?

3935004 i will admit i had to do something similar. I'm shit when thinking of rhyming sentences for Zecora to say.

3936938 So is Super-Stallion. When editing Her Little Rainbow I had to make Zecora rhyme.

Not bad so far you have my attention. :twilightsmile:

Comment posted by DGGames deleted Feb 13th, 2014

3935647 three times.... Really super really?? Omfg....

3936945 Eeyup...... Firebird is the best at zecora rhymes...... You have no clue how bad super is.... I had to write my chapter part with zecora... And firebird had to edit that a bit.... Tehehehe. Super get back to work!!

3935197
Pinkie Pie mentions the other Twilght.

I knew the breast feeding scene was coming. :eeyup:

3935197 yeah, I meant that when Pinkie said that if Twilight had a "twin Sister on the city with a dog named spike" so I'm guessing that's enough to tell that there actually is a Twilight Sparkle on that world too

Right, this... is actually fairly terrible. I'm not going to comment about your story itself (saving you from my anti-human bias), but the sheer number of errors in grammar and spelling.

Just looking at your synopsis: I can see failure to spell, failure to capitalize the start of a sentence, a missing period, and your sentences just sound wrong.
Take some advice, read what you write aloud. That alone will fix most of your structure errors. A comma is a slight pause, you stop talking on a period, and if it sounds like you're doing the verbal equivalent of a u-turn, then rewrite it.
Several people have already mentioned that you've misspelled Zecora's name several times, Sunset Shimmer's name is also wrong in your synopsis.

You've got a grand total of seven thousand or so words in this, that's hours of work that you want feedback on. You owe it to yourself to do that properly. So you're going to have to spend time relearning everything your English teachers failed to teach you in school. I should know, I had to reteach myself all that myself. These days as long as you can read road signs it's good enough.

Here's what you do: track down a 'Style Guide' from your parent's book collection, or a local library. Read all of it. Focus on anything to do with commas, those are important. Figuring out what the hell a 'clause' is will set you up for victory. Once you've got some of the ideas in your head, start reading other people's work and you'll start noticing how all those weird grammar rules fit together. Personally, I'll suggest reading anything from the main authors in 'The Winningverse' because they have a good editing setup and produce some good examples of writing.

From there you'll start to improve through demonstration and experience.

On a final note: Criticism is something all artists get, and writing is most definitely an art. You're going to get a lot of it, especially when you publicly post it. If you get all huffy because someone says you're being silly, then you're setting yourself up to wallow in ignorance and failure. I'd hate that, because I've just gave up a good 15 minutes of my time to try and help you. Do your best to improve yourself.

"Baby bottle, check

Baby formula

Crib, check"

No formula!?!?...Spike you didn't check baby formula!?! Twi Meltdown in 3...2...1.:facehoof:

I hate to point this out, but this chapter also feels eerily similar. Ignore me if you must.

I think you need to work on the description. I literally have not a clue what this story is about.

So the berries make you younger based on the amount of juice you ingest? Umm, alchemical ingredient for a potion version of the youth spell anyone? Should have at least fed a few to Granny Smith and the other old ponies in Ponyville.

You may want to add some horrible side effect, possibly something Sunset is immune to, in order to keep this from seeming like one of those stories where longevity is reviled. Just my two cents. :scootangel:

3941336 while it's true the berries could have been given to mkae the older ponies like Granny Smith younger, it is against nature that youth should so easily be attainable.

:facehoof: okay, I'm an idiot for not having Zecora explain that. i'll fix that now

She felt whatever the feathers encasing her were connected to stir and the feathers pulled away to reveal of loft that looked part bedroom, mostly bookshelves, with wall that looked like they were the inside of a tree.

Double check this.
3941347

There is an amazing number of people that are into fetishes that involve age reduction. Since the author appears to be going for a logical approach I can only assume the author will be stunned when a fetish group eventually adds this.
On a side note, if the author didn't see this coming and it does happen... I WILL LAUGH!

Comment posted by Autum Breeze deleted Feb 14th, 2014

3941565 i will be horrified if anyone finds my fic fetishy in even the smallest way. that isn't it's intent and never did it even occur to me that it could be seen that way.:pinkiegasp:

if anyone ever comments that kind of thing in relation to my fic, i will delete their comments and have them blocked.:flutterrage::twilightangry2: i wish to make that clear. i''m no clopper and while i do not like the idea of cloppers, as long as they stay the hell away from me, i won't bother them either.:ajbemused:

Trust me, if i wanted to make a huge fuss about cloppers, I'd be posting bad comments on every clopfic on this site.

Comment posted by Deep_Thought deleted Feb 16th, 2014

Great story!!! Can´t wait for the next episode :pinkiehappy: Please keep them coming :twilightsheepish:

“Right,” she said firmly. “First things first, Sunset. Gotta sort out you’re balance.”

Better sort out your grammar first.

“B-b-breast milk,” she said, her whole face turning a red that would make Big Macintosh jealous. “But would she even—?”

i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/6153751552/hC85366D2/

Also, before I abscond, you need someone to look over this for grammar and spelling.

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