• Member Since 5th Feb, 2014
  • offline last seen 6 hours ago

Autum Breeze


a home-grown australian who embraced being a member of the fandom 2 days before joining. Willingly delved into the fandom whole-heartedly and has never looked back

T

cover art from here


My day started out great. my work week just finished and I chose to use my first day off to finally go watch the MLP movie in the cinema and the movie was a great experience.

...

But my day went from great to WTF when I was passing a sushi resturant on the way out of the cinema and suddenly I'm Haku from Spirited Away and I'm in season 2 Equestria... but things are not all as they seem and now I've gotta figure out how to get home... if that's even possible.


Please not that, despite the romance tag, Haku will not have romantic relations with anyone living in Ponyville.




Holy hayburger! Featured 29/2/2020?

Thanks, guys. The date makes this pretty dang cool

Chapters (2)
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Comments ( 51 )

“Seriously, I’ll try you.

Trust. Also I like this movie.

“Please, please—” Garble tried.

“Ow, ow, Uncle—” Fume tried.

“Silence!” the white dragon roar, cutting them off.

“We’re gonna shut up, right now,” Clump said hastily.

“Calm down,” Garble laughed nervously. “We’re really sorry.”

Kohaku River just glared down at them. “If you ever try to harm these ponies, dragon, egg or any creatures I care about again…” he left his sentence unfinished.

“Oh. You… you care about them?” Garble asked shakily smiling.

“You do?” Fume laughed nervously.

“Did you know that?” Garble asked Fume.

“Me?” Fume said, shaking his head. “No! I didn’t know. You?”

Garble gulped, looking back up, waving a claw. “No! Of course not!”

“No!” Fume looked back up at the towering figure.

The two looked to each other, before turning to the third part of their trio with forced smiles, asking in unison, “Clump?”

Clump, who had a dazed expression likely from the beating he’d received, blinked, a goofy smile on his face and his tough slightly sticking out from his mouth, before quickly nodding, causing the other two’s facing to fall in terror.

Kohaku River gave a roar that echoed through the air.

Garble gave a very worried smile, waving a claw. “Toodles!”

The three zipped off, hurrying away, tails between their legs.

Nice job working that Lion King reference in there. :rainbowlaugh: It made me laugh and remember how awesome that scene was when I was a kid. Also, the simple typo I caught is in bold so you can fix it at your leisure. Looking forward to seeing where this goes. :pinkiehappy:

I blink, cocking an eyebrow at him. “How am I supposed to smell…?” I trail off as I do indeed smell something on the air that reminds me of horses, just with a fruitier aroma. “Seriously? Ponies in Equestria smell fruity?”

Well, I do remember we have a snack called Rainbow Drops. And many fan fics already compared Rarity to a marshmallow (even said her magic taste like one). I won't even question it if Applejack smell like apple.

One thing comes to mind... if our protagonist is a kind of dragon now... does this mean he has to participate in Gauntlet of Fire too?

Interesting.

10106901
A very good question. I would think so, but I'd also think he might have the will to resist its call if he really put his mind to it. Haku isn't a slouch when it comes to power. Just like any body of water, a river can be as gentle as the softest touch or mighty enough to grind and crush solid rock to powder. How else do you think sand was formed. :rainbowdetermined2:

My question would be since he's become Haku now, does he have a river in Equestria or its world that he's the spirit of? Maybe that could be his way home, as Haku couldn't find his way home because humans filled in his river to make room for housing, thus barring him from ever returning to his home. While he's in Haku's body and probably has his powers, I wouldn't believe he'd be as lost as the original Haku was as he might still have a river to be the spirit of.

Just an interesting theory is all. :twilightsmile:

oh boy, here we go again... another great story to add to the collection

Bravo bravo great story so far:twilightsmile:

I open my mouth to argue, before I blink, realizing he’s right.

He is very right :moustache:

“Calm down,” Garble laughed nervously. “We’re really sorry.”

No you're not, you're just afraid and in pain :trixieshiftleft:

I just came here to express my sincere wish that not another displaced story ends up with an idea that doesn't get completed/finished.

10106901
Not really because he's not just a dragon he's a spirit or more precisely a river kami and he only takes the form of a dragon or a human depending on which form he feels is most suitable for the situation.

“Your stink,” the dragon replied. “You smell nothing like a pony. You smell of twisted emotions and ill intent. Reveal your true form, or I shall do it for you.”

Now I wonder what would Celestia or Luna smell like? A tea cake and a brownie?

“He has no wings!” Luna gasped. “How can he fly with no wings?”

I have a feeling Rainbow Dash would find this information very annoying. Then Twilight would want to know the secret of it.

Yeah, this is just another Displaced fix-fic with slapdash pacing. Random guy shows up in Equestria in whatever form with powers, kicks the butt of the obvious villains within the first two chapters (either that or is an even worse villain, it's usually one or the other), and generally is a flat Sueish sort of thing.

Also, given that Steven is a sea serpent and the ponies know about sea serpents, they'd quickly assume Haku is also a sea serpent.

Have him eat Cozy Glow.

I'll give this story a like just for that.

It's not like he'd be eating a 'person'. We all know Cozy if just some Hasbro exec's kid's lousy OC.

She probably smells like cardboard. :rainbowlaugh:

So... Important event changed. Will there be consequences or will nothing happen? I guess we only find out in future chapters.

I like this, Haku is one of my favorite characters. Just try to not make it a fix-it story and focus more on Haku, and developing him as a character. Otherwise he'll come off as a Mary Sue/Gary Stu.

Wonder if he can take pony form after all isn’t the human form just a disguise for Haku

The pink Alicorn seemed to suddenly remember that the two were there, immediately adopting a worried look and fearful tone. “Auntie, he’s acusing me of being a creature that tried to attack me!” She pointed a hoof at him. “His must be a Chnagleing, a creature able to transform into the ones you love and feed of that love!”

He must be a changeling.

“What did I tell you?!” Cdance pointed fiercely at the biped. “He literally just changed right in front of us.”

Cadance

DNC

10107533
I think if he tried he could potentially take the apprentice of any race,:applejackunsure: he would just look like himself as that race.:applejackunsure: Thus going with him taking the form he deems most appropriate at the time.:applejackunsure:

hmm i like to see what happens next will keep an eye on this :twilightsmile:

“Niece,” Luna said a little more coldly. The Lunar Princess had not taken too kindly to the Princess of Love. Something about her made Luna feel… worried. Despite her title, Luna never got a warm feeling from the mare, any warm words sounding hollow from her.

So, already replaced huh :applejackunsure:

“Shall we get this over with?” Cadance asked, sounding bored and annoyed. “I have other matters I was attending to.”

Celly, you practically raised Cadance... how are you missing this behavior :facehoof:

“No… he didn’t,” Celestia said, her eyes widening as realaztion dawned on her. “Cadance, your magic has been green for the last three weeks!”

So she's probably been using a very subtle spell to make it difficult to focus on something small like that unless it's pointed out :moustache:

“I had a bit of time to figure out a few basic spells on my travels here,” the male said casually. “One I decided to focus on was a recording spell.” He grinned. “All of Equestria just heard everything. Your plans for an invasion during the wedding just went up in smoke.”

Well, all of Canterlot at least, it would be pretty difficult to cause projections to appear in multiple locations that you haven't been to :moustache:

Celestia blinked in surprise. “The hippogriffs? I have no heard word from them for several years now.”

Which should be enough of reason to investigate how they're doing don't you think :ajbemused:

“He has no wings!” Luna gasped. “How can he fly with no wings?”

The same way you fly with wings ...magic :pinkiecrazy:

Great work keep it up

NmB

The chapter is fine but I have a couple issues
First - why does our protagonist not worry himself with his new powers and abilities first instead of the events of the show ?
Second - when did he turn into a badass ?

10107812
Actually the way Haku flies the same way that all Asian dragons fly by swimming through the air by the moisture in the air if I remember correctly.

I nod, looking to him. “Equestria doesn’t get a fourth princess or a fifth.”

....teeechnically correct? Cadance isn’t an Equestrian Princess, but rather the Crystal Empire’s Princess.

In every fanfic I’ve read, and wrote, in which someone gets sent to Equestria turned into a fictional character from either MLP itself or another franchise, the timeline never truly went its original route, no matter how hard the protagonist tried not to interfere with the events of the show.

There’s a reason for this. The butterfly effect is more than simply getting involved. Simply existing causes a butterfly effect.
The butterfly effect does not need to occur from direct interaction. A single blade of grass that was a nanometer out of place could cause ripples down the timeline.
The best example I’ve found is going back to the age of the dinosaurs. By simply arriving, you attract bugs. From there, either you kill the bugs or let them do their thing, but it’s already too late. The moment you arrived you attracted bugs, the bugs were moved so now they’re out of place. A day later this might mean they’re not around to become carriers for a disease because they’re somewhere else from your interference. That disease then never spreads, dinosaurs never die thus killing other dinosaurs that normally would’ve lived, these dinosaurs then survive a cataclysm that rendered others extinct because they were in a different place than normal, so on so forth suddenly there’s dinosaurs roaming the earth in modern times.

Many fics portray characters entering the MLP universe, and more often than not they try to not interfere. 9 times out of 10 they get involved anyway for plot reasons. But even the fics where they don’t get involved, they’ve already changed the timeline, it’s not the same even if it follows the same general path, simply because they exist where they shouldn’t.

Eeehhh, not sure how I feel about this to be honest. I mean, good on him for being proactive, it’s certainly a different take on things, but it feels rushed and... admittedly a little forced.

I feel like some editing is needed, but otherwise this story intrest me. I'll read the next chapter.

So far I think this is a good idea, but I have two concer you may wish to work on.

1 pacing. I get he knows the events and now they will go but that doesn't mean he should rush to far ahead. This kind of story telling is fun in the beginning, but as a writer it can have a backlash when you run out of idea for future chapters.


2 the writing. Now thankfully the writer is readable and doesn't make me want to stab my eyes out like some other stories so good job. But there are moments where I see a few miss spellings or Grammer issues. This can be easily fixed with a proofreader or an editor.

All in all this is an interesting story that I plan to track and read.

Time line 2

I hold up my arms, bracing for the impact, when my stomach lurches again.

I wait and wait… and wait?

Um… why did the wind stop?

Opening my eyes, I realize I’ve just stopped several feet in the air.

Suddenly, whatever held me up stops and I drop against, hitting the water with a mighty splash.

I shake my head, trying to recover my wits, before something comes up from beneath, sending me soaring up through the water, before I burst forth, coughing, very disorientated.

“Well now, I certainly wasn’t expecting company,” a very flamboyant and vaguely familiar voice says, though I’m still trying to right my thoughts and can’t think about it very well. “You know, you could at least give a sea serpent a little warning the next time you’re going to just drop in like that. Especially this late.”

its a World Gate!!

Nice Lion King reference. Like this so far:twilightsmile:

Comment posted by ShadowWolf1203 deleted March 2nd

You don’t always get spelling or grammar right but your stories are very fun to read.

Interesting, oh! And Chara haircut!

I enjoy this. The character is funny and quirky. He did fuck up a major event, but oh well. There's more in the future to come. Heh. Whats next? He goes and beats up Tiric?

If anything, it’s probably better to nip that one in the butt, especially since, as Steven proved, even if small, there was a difference between what happened here and what was supposed to happen in the episode. Who knows what could be different, if anything, regarding the finale?

bud

She wondered, would they ever see him again?

I know we better. I like this, keep it up.

This story is AWESOME!!! :pinkiehappy:
Please update soon! Xd

She wondered, would they ever see him again?

.
This sentence is irrelevant.

Clump, who had a dazed expression likely from the beating he’d received, blinked, a goofy smile on his face and his tough slightly sticking out from his mouth, before quickly nodding, causing the other two’s facing to fall in terror.

Lion King reference. Very nice.

10107278
Ranbow Dash: "How are you flying?"
Haku: "Ever hear of telekinesis?"
Ranbow Dash: "Yeah?"
Haku: "There you go!"
Rainbow Dash: "...Okay."

Twilight: "Dang it you two, that isn't how telekinesis works!"

10129997
Rainbow: How are you flying without wings?
Haku: I am a river spirit. I swim.
Rainbow: I didn't ask how you swim, I asked how you fly.
Haku: Just treat the air as water and you can swim through it.
Rainbow: Baa...?

this story caused me to watch spirited away for the first time. gotta say... twas a good movie. haku is a cool guy.

i actually want to see more of this fic. please upload more often.

So far i love the direction this story is heading.

But the moment the displaced and tokens are brought into this im dropping this story.
Sorry if your intentions were to introduce merchant style story snippets and/or other displaced/franchises, but i absolutly hate it, to the point of really good stories getting a downvote from me since it lack originality and direction (the story)

But i hope you will suprise me and this can be a gem maybe with a happy end?

Okay, so far I am quite impressed. This is different enough to stand out, and very well done. I will watch eagerly for more.

I hope to see more, this is well done

😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻MOOORRREEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!

When next AWESOME update? :pinkiehappy:

This is ever so good, I hope to see more soon... :pinkiehappy:

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