“Celestia.”
“Ngh.”
“Celestia!”
“Ugh.”
“Celeeeeeeeeeeeeeee—”
“Damnit Luna, I’m trying to sleep!” Celestia called out from her bed.
Luna, sensing that her sister was now awake, barged into her room while breaking the chair that was oddly placed underneath the doorknob, as if to jam it shut from anyone on the other side from entering.
“Celestia, guess what I did?”
Celestia cradled her head between her hooves and shoved it beneath her pillow. “Got a what?” she muttered.
“What?” Luna asked, trotting over closer.
“I mean… what is it, dear and beloved sister?” Celestia said. She poked her head out from beneath her pillow, her fuzzy vision bringing Luna’s prominent smile into focus.
“I got your next date all organized just for you!” Luna tossed a laptop on Celestia’s stomach, the browser open to notforeveralone.com on her profile.
Celestia blinked several times, then shrugged and tightened her sheets around her body. “Wonderful. Hip-hip hooray. My mood just skyrocketed into the astounded territory. Nothing could possibly make this better… except for some sleep.”
“Oh, don’t be like that, sister, I’m sure this one will be different! It says right here he’s a doctor!”
Celestia’s eyes snapped open the moment she closed them to return to dreamland. Sitting up in her bed, she brought her face inches away from the laptop’s screen. “Doctor? Luna, please don’t tell me this is the Doctor!”
Luna pursed her lips. “Um… it isn’t? Wait, is this one of those rhetorical questions this modern era is so smitten with? I still haven’t gotten sarcasm entirely down so often times I—”
“Never mind, checked out his profile page. It is him.” Celestia frowned, her eyes scurrying across the screen. “He’s the one who stole the Captain from me. Jerk.”
“Well, technically speaking that was Deadpool’s doing.”
“Which is why he’s been locked away in the dungeons.”
Luna blinked. “Wait… wasn’t that date over two weeks ago?"
Celestia smiled.
Luna blinked again. “Wait… damn, how did I not notice that?”
“You were marathoning Lost on Netflix,” Celestia reminded her.
Luna slowly nodded her head. “Oh yeah… anything else happen in the meantime?”
“Solaire and Twilight got married and now Discord is duke of Equestria,” Celestia said, scrolling down the Doctor’s page.
“Whoa, seriously?”
“Remind me again to teach you what sarcasm means.” Celestia hummed under her breath, tapping her chin with her hoof as she brooded. “Wait one second… this Doctor page. Something about it is strange.”
Luna glanced over Celestia’s shoulder to the screen. “Strange how? You need to be extremely specific when it comes to immortals.”
“Well, I remember the Doctor from before mentioning he was the ‘Twelfth’ one. I thought at first that was an odd nickname, but it seems like this account is actually a main account for a bunch of alts.” Celestia clicked a link, opening up a screen with around twelve smaller profiles popping up all across the browser. “Twelve, to be exact.”
“So what you’re telling me is that there’s more than one Doctor?” Luna asked.
Celestia shrugged. “From what he said all he mentioned was regenerating. This could be a form of reincarnation where he lives forever by taking on different bodies. Kind of like a phoenix. Although I hope not exactly, since cleaning up Philomena’s ash messes each time she reincarnates herself is such a bother. I can’t even imagine the process and mess that a fully grown man could produce.”
“So, sister, how are you going to deal with this problem?” Luna asked, smirk widening every second.
Celestia sighed, then fished out a flask from inside her mane. Taking a long sip from it, she choked back the hard liquor and sighed once again. “Like I do with every problem when it comes to romance. Go at it head first while slightly intoxicated and pray for the best, and if that doesn’t work, beat out the best with my own two hooves. I guess I’ll go on a date with every one of them and see which one is the most bearable… or the least likely to lead me to my doom.”
“Wait, since when did you have a flask there?”
Celestia guzzled a few more mouthfuls. “Since romance.”
“Huh…” Luna dug her hoof into her own mane, only to withdraw a Cheetos bag. “Aww man.” Luna stared at the bag with a mix of regret and misery, only to open it anyhow and eat the cheese-flavored snacks.
On the whole, it is still unknown which sister was the more pathetic one.
Yeesh, poor Diarchs.
Only thing that could be worse for Tia, though, is if Luna made a profile and found her soul mate.
Say, why not have one of them date Tails from Sonic the Hedgehog? After all...
Also, I think it'd be hilarious if Celestia, at one point, wound up on a date with Nyx.
Lol. I wish I could fish food out of my hair.
And so it begins.....
You've doomed us all.
Each Doctor?!? *grabs popcorn*
She keeps just a flask in her mane? Pfft. Amateur.
*pulls a massive ale keg from under his fedora*
Pfffft that last line
4685780 Me too
4685824
Pfft. *opens hole to infinite rootbeer dimension and plugs the hole with an indestructible spigot*
I wonder if Kane from Command and Conquer will show up at one point I mean the man should of died three times back keeps coming back up.
I want to see Tia go on a date with either Khorne or the Emperor of Man from WH40k.
Tia and Tirek please
Still want to see a date with Hidan. The twelve doctors though, that should be good to read
Makuta Teridax would be cool
Yes, the Doctor run is here!
Mata Nui pls.
YES!
Only way to top this is a group date night!
oh great , now shes a chronic alcoholic, well done
NOOOOOO YOU MADE ME THINK OF DOCTOR STRANGE
Wait wait wait wait
DOES THIS INCLUDE WAR DOCTOR?!?!??!
4685876 pfft *opens five portals that each have a river of a different liquid. Also have a giant swirly straw sticking out of each one
4685973 Thanks
Death from Darksiders 2
She'll enjoy the Fourth Doctor... Tom Baker's turn was the version I saw first, and I loved every second of it.
PFft. Amateur.
*Draws PS2 and small TV from pocket*
12 Doctors?
Can you say...
Gangbang?
How any times is this going to get featured?
This might be the new my little dashie
A date with Armok: An Omnipresent and Omnipotent God of Blood, malice, depravity, kindness, love, destruction, hate, lies, honesty, creation, insanity, Zen, incest, rape, mutilation, cannibalization, ALCOHOL, genocide, Repairing of Worlds, time, space, luck, pity, gods, gore, violence, anger, lust, greed, pride, depression, envy, arrogance, devotion, cheating, enslavement, emancipation, famine, disaster, War, Peace, combat, The Universes, failure, success, tears, water, magma, rocks, trees, the ground, blood, blood, and EVEN MORE BLOOD♥
Praise be unto Armok, the only God of Blood!
Can't wait for the doctor one tho.
Oh this CAN'T end well. But then again, when does it EVER end well for Celestia!
4th DOCTOR! Sexy Scarves and Classy Jelly Babies here we come!
3.bp.blogspot.com/-WuKb3gyR3gA/UXxfu2PlZeI/AAAAAAAAFBQ/FhIvgVz23Vo/s1600/tom.jpg
4686561
Tales of industriousness and dynamism!
...
Blood for the blood god!
4686297 probably not because he was busy fighting
4th Please?
th05.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/f/2014/082/0/9/request__4th_doctor_ponified_vector_by_dubsteppegasister-d7bcvbn.png
You know who would be awesome.
A giant God-like person.
Like Groot or The Iron Giant, The BFG, Heavy weapons guys (He technically never dies) and on that note Master Chief.
I don't know. We just need more heart warming giants with golden Hearts.
Chaos god Slannesh from the Warhammer universe, the Prince of Pleasure will show Celly a good time
4686954 Master Chief isn't immortal. Sure, we don't know the upward 'natural' lifespan of a Spartan, but he will porbably age, despite being really active for his age
4685979 She HAS already gone on a date with the Emperor.
Aw, come on, Lulu. Free Cheetos are never a bad thing.
Also, my spellcheck recognizes "Cheetos" as a word.
In any case, looking forward to more, though I would recommend breaking up the dozen Doctor dates to avoid monotony. That, or put them all in one massive chapter. Either or.
You should send her on a date with "Blue ending Shepard" (AKA the guiding consciousness of the reaper collective)
Or Kane from C&C. that bastard just will not stay dead no matter howmany nukes and satellite canons I've dropped on his head.
You could also match her with Arthur, Macbeth, or Demona from Gargoyles.
I still think Reaper Shepard would be the most interesting though, considering he'd have to talk by directly controlling a reaper or a husk form.
4687204 Macbeth or Demona would be interesting, and hey, Macbeth even has a beard! A date with Demona would prob end the same way as the one with Savage... though it still be fun to watch.
Someone have her date Harbinger or anyone from Touhou
4685876 Double pfft. Root beer? Try this!
*opens coat pocket to reveal a bottomless pit of chocolate and white powder that so totally isn't cocaine*
4688319 *pulls out scp-109* I dare you to jug this,
4688647 I may be many things, and although stupid might be one of them, I know my limits. Besides, that thing is filled with water, and that's just it.
goddammit i want Cheetos now
4690488 Awww man, I want some Jack Daniels too
4685876
unlimited rootbeer works?
I love this story.... I can't believe I'm fixing to go into chapter 50....