Wake up. See this. What do? - Part 2: Raise the Flag (comment driven story)

by RazortheAwesome

The Tempting Terror (guest chapter by Browndog77)

As Rarity left Jason’s room with Spike and Redheart she couldn’t help but feel a little worried.

“Do you think it’s wise to leave Twilight alone with him, you know, considering their past together?” she said aloud to Spike. Spike just raised an eyebrow at her in an incredulous manner, courtesy of taking lessons from Applejack. Rarity on the other hand continued on without noticing. “I mean, I love Twilight, but she still may not be mentally sound, and you saw how obsessed she used to be with him. And Jason, he’s just lying there, hurt and helpless and unable to move or say no.” Her eyes had a faraway fantasy look to them now, “She could take him now against his will and finally get what I’ve… I mean, she’s been after, and no one would ever know.” Nurse Redheart understandably cringed at those thoughts.

“Ms. Rarity, we’re right outside this door, nothing like that is going to happen, besides I’m not so sure it’s Twilight we should be worrying about” she said pointedly.

“Why whatever do you mean, who else would do…such…a…thing?” the implications of what she just did not two minutes ago came crashing back to her, and with it that nagging feeling of guilt. She had just tried to take advantage of Jason while he was near death, and sang that trashy music, and how had she even sung that song for that matter? She’d never heard it before. Added to that came embarrassment and shame, and it didn’t help that both Nurse Redheart and Spike were giving her looks as if to say “This bitch for real?” She began to sweat nervously and look around, like a filly who was caught with her hoof in the cookie jar.

“Umm…I…uhh…” she stammered while Redheart and Spike just stared at her without saying a word. “Gaahhh….BATHROOM!!!” she yelled and ran off before the situation could get even more embarrassing. Once she rounded the corner she slowed down and continued walking with her head down.

“Am I a bad pony?” she asked herself aloud. “No, no! I just had a moment of weakness is all, I mean he’s hurt and needs love and care to get better, and that’s all I’ve ever wanted to give him, shame on him for not accepting in the first place.” Her flimsy justification calmed her down just enough to dissipate the embarrassment. “That’s it, I was just trying to love him back to life, and got carried away…yeah, that’s right. I’m good.” She smiled nervously as if hoping someone would believe that lie, even though the hallway she was in was completely empty.

“Surely they’ll all understand when...” Rarity stopped speaking as she found a note on the ground with her name on it “Huh? What’s this?” She opened up the piece of paper and inside in blood red lettering was a horrifying message:

NO DICKS FOR YOU

“WHAT?!” she looked up angrily. “WHO WROTE THIS?! WHAT FILTHY DISGUSTING PERVERT WROTE THIS?!!!” the irony of that statement was completely lost on her, as her shouts echoed through the hallway as she looked for the pony responsible. Speaking of the hallway, she just now realized that it was very dimly lit with the far end almost in complete darkenss. The brightest light was directly above her and even that was flickering and dim.

“Odd, I don’t remember it being this dark,” she thought to herself. She then turned around and found that the corridor she had just come from did not exist anymore as a blank wall now covered it. She was more than taken aback by this, “Wha…but how di…”

Suddenly, someone whistling a tune could be heard. The song was haunting and quick, and it seemed to echo all around her. Rarity’s anger at the note retreated in favor of dread.

“Wh-Who’s there?!” she shouted to the darkness, “Show yourself!” She looked around as the whistling continued relentlessly, and then she saw it.

Out of the darkness, about fifteen feet away from her, she could see the silhouette of some sort of quadruped.

“Wh-who are you?” she asked now more than a little freaked out and backed herself up, only to hit the dead end wall that was not there a second ago. The whistling then picked up in speed and tempo as the figure started to move. Each step it took the lights began to dim away to darkness, only giving her glimpses, but they were more than enough.

Rarity caught a glimpse of the dark reflective surface of sunglasses, “No…” she saw a tan colored canine paw step into the waning light, “You’re not real!” and lastly she saw the incredibly creepy smile she had tried and failed to forget from a few nights ago.

“No No No NO NO NO!” she screamed as she turned around beat on the wall. With her back turned she heard the whistling getting louder and closer as it advanced.

“NOT LIKE THIS! NOT LIKE THIS!” she cried.

“Umm…Ma’am, what are you doing?” came a scruffy sounding voice.

Rarity opened her eyes and realized that it was bright again and that the whistling had stopped. Not only that, but she was pounding on the Mare’s Restroom door and an elderly janitor with a mustache, blue cap and mop was looking at her funny.

“Ohh…I’m…I…just need to use the restroom badly?” she chuckled nervously at this, still somewhat creeped out by what just happened.

“Hmmph…try pulling the door, might work better,” the scruffy janitor said and pointed to the Pull sign above the handle.

“Oh, of course! Thank you! Ha ha ha!” she opened the door and ran inside immediately, leaving the Janitor to mumble something about crazy mares.

Rarity, still confused as all hell, ran up to the sink and splashed water all over her face.

“What was that all about?” she said aloud breathing heavily. “Am I going crazy?”

She then took a good look at herself in the mirror. She saw the same perfectly stylized mane, the same shining blue eyes, and the same perfect face she had come to know and love. She smiled calming down a bit.

“Of course not, I’m still young, sexy, and alive. That dog isn’t real… I’m fine.” She leant her hooves on either side of the mirror and sighed. “I’m fine…” Suddenly her reflection darted out and wrapped its hooves around her throat, “I don’t think so…” it said menacingly.

Rarity was shocked and scared out of her wits, by this turn of events but found she couldn’t even move as the Doppelganger continued to berate her.

“We just tried to rape a comatose alien with a musical number…does that sound…Fine?” Without waiting for an answer the reflection Rarity began choking her counterpart and laughing evily. Rarity gagged and gasped for air as the white hooves around her throat squeezed harder. She began to see black spots and tried to back away. As she did, she noticed that the hooves around her throat didn’t lead back into the mirror, but rather were coming up from below. They were her own hooves. Realizing this, she let go of her throat and gasped in some much needed oxygen.

After she had caught her breath she looked back to the mirror above the sink and only saw her normal reflection. She tapped the glass just to be sure, and just to be doubly sure, she pretended to leave, only to turn around quickly trying to catch it off guard. The reflection was still doing normal reflection things.

She then sighed and sat down and held her head in her hooves.

“Oh, who am I kidding, I am a bad pony,” She said sadly. “I go and do that to him after all the pain of yesterday, even after he rejected me. *Sigh* All this craziness is just my guilt getting the better of me. I should go and apologize to Twilight, Spike and that Nurse… and Jason when he finally wakes up.”

She stood up and looked to the sky, which she couldn’t see since the bathroom ceiling was in the way, but she continued on regardless. “I swear I will no longer try to seduce Jason Morgan…” she stopped looking to the sky/ceiling and continued “…for now at least.” She then began to ramble on to herself, “ Who knows what the future holds, surely he could change his mind. In the meantime perhaps one of those orderlies wouldn’t mind taking me and…” she was cut off as she heard the whistling again. Horrified she turned around and came face to face with The Brown Dog who’s face was inches away from hers.

“TONIGHT YOU!” it said fast and creepily.

“AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!”

She screamed so loudly that the entire hospital heard her before promptly blacking out.

The Brown Dog then inched closer to her and put his paw on her head where a strange ethereal glow appeared. He then walked into the mirror above the sink before losing his s*** and began laughing like crazy.

“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Oh man, that was funny as hell.” A cool female voice that only he could hear responded, and he answered back.

“Well she did have it coming, Indulging in her whoreishness would only lead to s*** we don’t want Razor writing,” He then smiled wickedly, as was his custom.

Author's Note:

status: edited

This is the only chapter you're getting this week.

Comments

[Grey Rebl]

Wow, er... Okay?

[Kiro0613]

Am I allowed to do shameless self promotion?

[Sage Probo]

Rarity is in serious need for dicks. Go get richard.

[BrownDog77]

4730322
OK
Don't know how much use he'll be though
3.bp.blogspot.com/-9RQPHtIjMFM/TnxtZ9ySKsI/AAAAAAAABeM/-27Xou1RQyM/s1600/richardsimmons5.jpg

[Sage Probo]

4763755 i meant lfgcomic richard, he is a dick xD

[Grey Rebl]

Haitus? Well, alright, I guess. I'll just wait here. Patiently. No rush.

[Storm Cloud 6000]

4852028 funny seeing you here, MWAHAHAHAHA, I STALK YOU

[Kiro0613]

Wake me up if the story updates, I'm gonna take a nap for a few years.

[Broniesrponies2]

4591768
4852028
4763755
4715940
4686332
I'M FINALLY BACK TO LIFE! OH MY GOD IT HAS BEEN MONTHS!

If BRP as a sidestory character is dead, or excluded now because of my horribly long absence, that's perfectly understandable and accepted, but i sincerely hope that it isn't the case.

Here is just a little update on my recent history. My moods got steadily more depressing. Then I hit July 23rd. On that day, I was kicked out of my house for being useless. I moved to my Grandparents Canadian house (which is in a town as opposed to 10km away from a village) and got a job within 2 weeks. Now, almost 2 months after getting my job, I AM NOT DEPRESSED! Its kinda sad that the thing making me depressed was living with my family...

So now, I have a relatively safe place to stay. I don't have to rent, but I have to pay for utilities and internet, which is another thing i have consistently and with consistent quality. So now basically, I feel great. My Grandparents are going to be coming over from England in 10 days so I get to see them soon too.

Now that that crap is out of the way, lets get down to brass tacks *HOLY FUCK THEY ARE STUCK IN MY FOOT*

nevermind those things.

The world is still messed up, I am still insane, but in a good way, subordinate clauses are cool, I know how to use commas, apparently how to overuse commas, and when I can think of an end to this sentence, I will write it down.

Done.

THE MADNESS RETURNS!!!

[Grey Rebl]

5080251 Great to have you back! In other news, the story is on hiatus. For some reason.

Meh, we'll have that one glorious return. All of us.

[Dodo Of Chaos]

what.

[Outis]

You Get a very Strange Random Thought, a thought that only seemed in place had you never come this far, you just can't take it anymore, despite the fact you have no idea it is that can't be took, and you stop, and as you stop so completely and utterly so does the world around you, as if the world relied upon you to constantly putting life into it, and now that you (and everything else) have stopped you cant help but feel a calm and serenity you never felt before, you let this feeling wash over you and as you do the world around you fades, you feel freedom, freedom from a cage of your many minds creation, and in time even those fade, no longer do you hear a thousand voices and it is quiet, and then in the nothing a single quiet voice emerges, one you never heard before.
Wake Up, Please You Have To Wake Up
And as the words reach your ears you open your eyes for the first time in years
....
....
You smile
(Just A Little Something I Thought of)

[Gavier]

Three years hiatus...
Last thing the author said was two years ago...

Yep, seems legit. It will continue any minute now