Bonus Chapter: Meanwhile, IN SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!!!!!!!!!
In a very special chapter of Wake up. See this. What do? While the whole battle with Haypennywise was going on. This was happening.... IN SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!!!!!!!!
RA = Registered Anonymous
SD = SwimmingDalek98
GF = Gordon Freebrony
GR = Grey Rebl
BP = Broniesrponies2
MW = Masterweaver
*One of the hackers looks over the coordinates from Somepony1 again, notices something is wrong*
Hacker 1: Um... Antares
Antares: What is it?
Hacker 1: I've been looking over these coordinates that Somepony1 gave use for The Doctor and the other daleks. For the Doctor, he claims he's there on the planet, but for the other daleks, the coordinates he gave are-
*The ship suddenly detects many, MANY more Dalek vessels coming out of warp space*
Hacker 1: Right.... next... to us....
Antares: ALERT!!! INFORM THE COMMANDER!!!
Side Story Characters vs Evil Dalek Army
Gangnam Eye Joe by Magebarf
SD
Dalek on board: I have intercepted a transmission! Currently, a large group of the old, evil Daleks are on their way to attack us now!
Me: Oh, and I was JUST getting used to my Cumberpatch form... ah, well. KEEP THOSE SHIELDS UP! Antares, get those Orz on the line! Tell them we've got evil, older Daleks on the way, and we might need backup! And the Enterprise dudes, too!
Antares: What will you do, master?
Me: I'll be getting in my personal suit, of course! You think I'm going to be sitting this one out? HEEL TO THE NO, MAN! *turns into Dalek* Wait... crap, not in the machine yet... *turns back into Multi-Form* Just a moment... *goes to customized Dalek suit, and turns into Dalek to fit into suit* Let's get this party started!
Antares: Affirmative! All Daleks, initiate Operation Family Reunion!
All Daleks of fleet: WE OBEY! INITIATING OPERATION FAMILY REUNION! PREPARING ALL ANTI-DALEK WEAPONRY!
Hackers and RA: The f*ck's going on, man?Me in suit: Yeah, long story short, the older breed of Daleks, the mean ones, they're coming for us... no idea how, but since they're all xenophobics who hate anyone who goes against the crap they preach, they want our heads on silver platters. You might want to hide in the containment chambers. Hey, you! *Dalek unit turns* Get the hackers and RA into containment units, and tell the Enterprise that if they've got weapons, they need to ready them for the crazy sh*t that's about to go down!
SD
>> SwimmingDalek98 And my Daleks don't hold any resentment to the Doctor for all the times he beat their people. Frankly, they like him for trying his best to stop them from hurting people.
RA
*Meanwhile on board the Dalek spaceship*
R.A.: *sighs as he finishes hitting a button on his Iphone* *quietly and seriously* Hope this helps Jason... I really hope Haypennywise and Pennywise share the same weaknesses from the movie "It".....
*R.A. turns towards Swimming*
>> SwimmingDalek98
R.A.: Soooo we got some evil Daleks coming over eh? And you want me to hide in some containment unit as well? .....Hacker 1 get all the other hackers and hide in the containment unit I'm going to help fight off these Evil Daleks as well.Hacker 1: B-but R.A.! Didn't Swimming say that he wants you to hide as well?
R.A.: Pffft yeah right! And miss out in all this excitement!? IN YOUR DREAMS! *cracks his knuckles* Plus this will allow me to show what I am made of to Swimming, right Swimming?
GF
-On Board The Enterprise-
Scotti: Red Alert! Battlestations!
-Alarm goes off-
Scotti: Raise shields! Move into position with the fleet. Prepare for the battle.
Chekov: Sir! Warp signatures approaching fast!
Scotti: Arm forward phaser banks, ready photon torpedoes! Inform the Captain.
Chekov: Yes, Sir!The message is sent.
Scotti: Contact the rest of the fleet. Make sure they know what's coming.
The Orz and the Dalek fleet are informed.
__________________________________________________________Spock: Ma,am, this ma-- pony is a criminal who has hijacked our ship and forced us to beach upon these shores. Forced to stay here, we chose to explore this area, taking him with us because he claimed to have foreknowledge. However, he did not tell us how he acquired said knowledge, nor did he fully disclose it. As such, we were merely using measures to gain the necessary knowledge about these... parts.
Zecora: You are one who speaks true, But now I must ask, who are you?
Kirk: I am Captain Kirk of the Enterprise, a sea-faring ship from far away ports. Myself and my crew are on a mission of exploration, although we were, as Spock, my chief science officer, so eloquently explained. That is Dr. McCoy, Chief Medical Officer, and this *Kirk sends a kick my way* is Ensign Freebrony, relieved.
Me, through my bloody nose*: Hey, I was telling the truth there!
Kirk: McCoy, I-
A ring fills the air, notification of another message. Kirk moves off into the forest, getting a message from the Enterprise.
Zecora and Spock start talking, while McCoy approaches my prone form.McCoy: Look, will you let me stop the bleeding?
Me: Fine.
McCoy: Thank you. Here, drink this. *puts a bottle of gin to my lips* Now, anyway, I have a way of proving if you are lying. I can figure Spock's mind-meld will do the trick as well, though I doubt you'd want that. When Kirk comes back, I'll tell him, though if you are lying I swear you will wish you'd never been born. I don't like looking a fool in front of the captain.
Kirk walks back into the clearing.
Kirk: Bones, bad news. We've got hostiles zoning in on the planet, so until the shields can be safely lowered, we're going to be cut off from support. I'll tell Spock when he's done with the native.
McCoy: Jim, I have a way to see if Gordon here is truthful. I don't know what he's told you, but he's promised me it's the truth. All I have to do is move to this setting on the tricorder.
After a short while, the test is set up and proves Gordon was telling the truth. Meanwhile, Spock got Zecora to agree to help them, and they begin their trek to her hut.
SD
>> GordonFreebrony
Dalek Antares: ALL UNITS, PREPARE TO ENGAGE!
Dalek: Incoming transmission! Lowering communications barrier!
Old generation Dalek: Greetings, traitors. Where is the Doctor?
Antares: We do not know of the location of your enemy! If we did, we would direct him to YOU!
Old Dalek: OUR enemy? The Doctor has plagued Daleks for GENERATIONS! And now you claim you are his ally?
Antares: No. We have simply learned from him. Daleks are NOT the supreme rulers of the universe. We have only gotten to where we are through misery and unnecessary bloodshed. Now, my pure-hearted brethren! I CALL YOU TO BATTLE! Show our elders the error of their ways! EXTERMINATE THEM! HEAR THE CALL!
All Daleks of the Reformed Dalek Empire's fleet: BITE OUR SHINY METAL ASSES!
Me: YES! Now, then, play the tune of victory, for we have already won!
Me: U mad evil Daleks?
Evil Dalek: HE PLAGUED THEIR MINDS! Your extermination will be slow, abomination, that much is assured...
Me: Well, come at me bro!
GR
>> SwimmingDalek98
Hacker: Say, Nana. Does the quote "angrier means dumber" applys to the Old Daleks?
Nana: In Pony psychcology, yes. But to an advanced species with superior intelligence? I doubt it. Anyway, they've been using the same old tactics in this fight, as said in the Reformed Dalek's Database. Intimidation, we've won from that; Mass numbers, they might obliterate us through sheer vengeance.
Hacker: So with the information that we have, we gotta predict their next move, which we can do pretty easily, fight smart and catch them off guard? Do I follow?
Nana: Correct. Just as long as no pony dies so soon.
Hacker: What do you mean?
Nana: Our current methods are to go directly to the enemy and declare, "BITE MY SHINY METAL ASS"... Other than the old methods we have before these Daleks were reformed that's it. The battle plans were on haitus when the army was gaining allies such as us. Everypony were too busy. Until we work on any efficient battle tactics, we are either going to need RA's unpredictabillity, or he'll kill us by "helping" us to death.
Either it is because the strong chances of being annihilated by Old Daleks inspired him, or it is the thought of being killed by RA's stupidity and destroying everyone's dignity that did, he announced to work on the plans.
Hacker: Well, then let's get to it then!
RA
>> SwimmingDalek98
R.A.: *after hearing the Daleks shout their battle cry and that Kokoro spam* T-that is the most beautiful thing I have ever heard. *A manly tear is shed*
Hacker 1: ...Swimming are you seriously that much of an otaku or is this just a spur of the moment.
R.A.: *kicks Hacker 1 to the side and grabs Swimming by the scruffs* TELEPORT ME ONTO ONE OF THE EVIL DALEK SHIPS NOW! I WANT TO F*CK SOME EVIL DALEKS UP NOW!
SD
>>Registered Anonymous Both, and yes. But we'll need to attack their shielding first, we don't want them to be able to warp you into their line of fire. Alright, give me a moment... *uses Multi-Form powers to turn into Dalek form and crawls into special personalized suit* Alright, I'll fly over there, and leave a teleportation module thingy for you to warp to. Alright, thumbs up, let's do this... SWIIIIIIIMMIIIING... DAAAAAAAALEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!
>>Grey Rebl I'm going to let RA loose on the enemy Dalek ship... what do you think's gonna happen?
GR
>> SwimmingDalek98
After a long hang out trip at the movies with my two best friends and one of their little brother's, I'd say the enemy would only send a small group of Old Daleks against RA simply because he is just one man. Oh, the glorious amount trollololo he would cause.
SD
>> Grey Rebl... you're not getting the point. I'm gonna let the psycho loose ON their ship once I drop a teleportation module... thingamajig. And he will teleport TO it. In their ship. What do you expect to happen?
GR
>> SwimmingDalek98
I may be a tad lackluster after the weird movie I just watched, but I may have to ask: Do you mean specifically what RA is going to do in the sh–... Wait, do you mean that he's gonna use that sledgy... on whatever he's going to blow up? Thinking about it a little more, I think he's going wreck more than simple consoles... You don't suppose the Old Daleks are going to give him and his iron sledgehammer some sort of demonic name after he is through with all that?
GF
>> SwimmingDalek98>> Grey Rebl>>Registered Anonymous
On the Enterprise:Scotti: Fire forward phasers!
*explosion*
Random Ensign: Sheilds down to ninety percent.
Scotti: Get their shields down!
*explosion*
Random Ensign: Shields at 85 percent! Casualties reported in decks three and seven. Four dead, all security, and two injured Science and Medicals.
Scotti: We can take more.
Random Ensign: Sir! Enemy shields are down!
Scotti: Fire photon torpedoes!
*space explosion*
Random Ensign: Enemy is down. Reporting no immediate survivors. Moving to next Target.
Scotti: Same procedure, boys!
Random Ensign: Sir, we've got multiple hostiles leaving their ship. They're trying to board!
Scotti: Well get rid of 'em!
Random Ensign: I'm trying, sir. There's too many!
*explosion*
Random Ensign: Shields down to 75 percent. We've been boarded on decks three through five! Dispatching security.
Scotti: Inform the fleet. Tell them we need help destroying these damned boarding Daleks before they get to us.Random Ensign: Sir, the first wave has been repelled. We've got minimal casualties, eight security dead and three injured. They're coming back for another round!
_____________________________________________________Meanwhile, on the Orz ship,
Orz captain: This is so *Frugle.* We should *Swim* t with the *New* *Sad Campers*. They like to *swim* like us.
A swarm of suit-less OrzJump out of the orbiting ships, attacking the much larger Dalek swarm. Unfortunately,this is on the opposite side of the battlefield as the Enterprise.
Orz Captain: Now lets *play*.
The Orz ships enter the battle, firing small burst of laser fire, eating through the Daleks on their way to the Evil Dalek ships. In return, the Orz' shields are barely even touched.
_______________________________________________________Sorry whoever had the Orz, but I grabbed control for the moment. They weren't really doing much.
SD
>> Grey Rebl Something along the lines of... say, 'the Masked Devil'.
SD
>> GordonFreebrony
Me, while flying through enemy fire: ANTARES! I want a squadron on the Enterprise THIS INSTANT, BUSTER!Antares: I OBEY! MOVE, MOVE, MOVE!
Me: Now, then... a little 'mental preparation' never hurt anyone... let's see... no, no, no... THERE you are!
Me: YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! *dodging enemy fire and sending fire back*
RA: I'm so bored! I wanna get in on the action!
Hacker: That's potentially the most sensible sentence ever to come out of his mouth... if that is a he.
Other Hacker: What is WRONG with you, man?
Hacker: Well, no guy in the universe could POSSIBLY complain THAT much, right?
Other Hacker: Well... *looks at whiny RA* Okay, you might have a point! But then again, he's CRAZY!
Hacker: Menstrual cycle.
Other Hacker: His habits!
Hacker: They include cooking... fondly.
Other Hacker: Oh, fine! So maybe RA's a girl!
Me: Guys, hate to break up your little Pyro squabble, but I've already dropped the warp module down. Some of Regulus' buddies are gonna give you a machine thingy that you'll want to plant on their main computer. They'll use that to take control of the enemy weapons systems, and other mechanisms. Activating warp module in three... two... one... GO!
Hackers and RA: WAAAAAGH! *warp onto evil Dalek ship*
Me: Alright, then! I'm going back out there! You guys just take care of business! RA, take care of these guys! They're the only ones competent enough to do this, and they also have fingers. Now, then... GANGNAM EYE JOOOOOOOOOEEEEEEE!
GR
>> SwimmingDalek98 >> GordonFreebrony
Crew Member: Oh boy. The Enterprise have already gotten into the battle. I'm not so sure how much more damage they can sustain. And I don't think the Extra Squadron could make it there in time. The enemy's size of numbers are HUGE!
Hacker: I-I uh... Nana? A little help?
Nana: How long until our reinforcement Daleks reach to their side?
Crew Member: About 6 minutes.
Nana: Anyway to achieve that distance at less time?
Crew Member: Well, without risking any severe loss of soldiers, no. I don't think we have any ideas to spare.
Nana: I think I can think of a way.
Hacker: Really? How?
Nana: Firstly, were's SwimmingDalek?
Dalek: Currently at the enemy ship, attempting to set up a teleportation module to send RA and the fighter hackers rampaging on.
Nana: The Orzs?
Crew Member: Taking their sweet time cutting through the enemy.
Nana: I see. Have the Orzs draw as much fire away from the Enterprise as possible until the Antares arrive, they can take it. Ready one of our mobile cannons. When RA's team clear the area of the teleportation point, teleport the reinforcements along with the mobile cannon and have them destroy the enemy from the insides, first objective: immobilize enemy cannons and guns. We need to lessen casualties as much as ending the battle as quick as possible.
Hacker: They are planning on hijacking the ship though. Don't you think we should leave the cannons alone when we might use them later?
Nana: We'll leave that up to the higher-ups. As for the mobile cannon, have it make a large hole on the enemy ship. We are going to perform a surprise maneuver. And make it immediate. The enemy's cannons can only shoot the outside, and can't shoot what's inside. Even if they can, they couldn't without risking damage to themselves. Plus, we would have RA and co to defend it if necessary.
Dalek: Such a flaw on our Dalek ships would not be tolerated and will be punishable by TERMINATION... Wait...
Nana: As we do that, create a path to the Enterprise so the Extra Squadron could take care of the onboard enemy Daleks without losing too much of their own on their way.
Hacker: But wouldn't the massive number of enemies be too thick for the mobile cannon to reach the last half of the destination? The reinforcements would still–
Nana: That's where our ship come to play. At some point, we will act as a barrier and cut off the flow of enemies, that would leave them having to go around our own artillery to reach the Enterprise, and we would be able to clear off the last half.
Hacker: Clever, but risky.
Nana: RA might approve.
SD
>> Grey Rebl Antares is a Supreme Dalek, guys. He's commanding from the helm, directing the Caesar's guns and sh*t. By the way, get the Remus about 40 kiliks over that ship there *indicates enemy ship* And have it fire. A kilik is a Dalek measurement of distance, equal to around 4.3777, continuing, kilometers.
GR
>> SwimmingDalek98
Nana: That's the plan. Antare, awaiting further orders.
RA
>> SwimmingDalek98>> Grey Rebl
*R.A. and his hackers get teleported onto the enemy Dalek ship only to find there are like 20 evil Daleks around them*
Hackers: All up to you R.A.!
R.A.: Now this is what I want to see. *cracks his knuckles* So which one of you metal jerkwads wants to get wrecked first?
Evil Daleks: Exterminate!
R.A.: I had a feeling you were going to say that. *rushes at the Daleks that are in front of him deflecting oncoming fire with his nine iron* YOU ARE GOING NEED MUCH BETTER STUFF THAN LASERS TO KILL ME! Ah ha hahahahhahahhahahahahhahaha! *proceeds to go to town on the Evil Daleks and mercilessly beat them all into almost a liquefied puddle of pain, misery, and with a hint of insanity while all of this scene takes over a span of 2 minutes and 43.786 seconds with the hackers all huddled in a corner after witnessing the horrors that is R.A.*
R.A.: *is now standing on top of a pile of defeated Evil Daleks* That was the most fun I have had in ever! Alright hackers call Swimming and tell him we got the teleporting zone open please. But for me I got to find some more Daleks to wreck!
Hackers: *simply comply to his demand and wished for the Evil Daleks to have a swift and painless defeat... which probably won't be possible*
R.A.: *before he leaves* Oh one last thing if you ever consider me being a girl ever again... I'll rip your vocal cords out and make you eat them. *begins laughing nonchalantly as he leaves*
BP
Me: *Sends message up to evil Dalek fleet.*
Good evening teapots,
This is your friendly neighborhood distraction, just letting you know that you will lose. This is not only because we are better, or because we have the Orz on our side, but also because I uploaded a copy of my hacking AI into your systems. If I know my AI, certain of your systems (namely, shields and propulsion) are currently being overloaded by a thousand games of solitaire and Tetris, not to mention terabytes of anime. They should be down momentarily. In other news... Goodbye.
*message ends*
Well, I managed to do something.
*new message to commander Swimming Dalek*
Hello,
Just like to let you know that the teleportation barriers and standard shields of all networked Dalek ships will soon be offline. I can't say for how long. Best to make use of the window before it closes. Couldn't disable the weapons though. Those are on a different network. Best of luck.
*messge ends*
GR
>> Broniesrponies2
Nana: Commander, we've got a message.
Antares: From the Enemy?
Nana: No. From the planetside at the Everfree forest, and it's not the away team sent.
Crew Member: Huh? But how?
Nana: Some pony has locked into our signal during the time the beacon was downloaded into the ship. Whoever it was, he or she has a beacon of his own. But it's falling apart, so it couldn't do much but send some messages from time to time.
Antares: On screen.
*Reads message.*
Hacker: The shields would soon be down? How does that work?
Nana: When the Evil Daleks transmissioned us and we... prematurely declared battle against them, he downloaded a Hacking AI into their servers.
Antares: How did you know of this? Why didn't you inform us of this? Explain!
Nana: I could have if the Hacking AI didn't disable my audio and messaging. At the time, we talked and worked out a friendship. He apologized for shutting me up and I apologized for being so hostile. Anyways, with a little bit of my help, I opened up a channel big enough for him to be downloaded to the enemy ship. We said our good-byes, but he forgot to enable my communication to you guys. It was a nightmare to weave my way out, I was lucky enough to make a few lucky correct encryptions before I finally came out 2 minutes before you called for my help! I swear, you hackers the demons of me.
Hacker: Hey! It's not our fault RA is crazy!
*Meanwhile*
Evil Dalek: STAY BACK, MASKED DEMON! YOU DON'T INTIMIDATE US! THE ONLY FEELINGS WE HAVE IS HATE!
RA: Oh really? Then I suppose I have to discipline you and make you gentlemen. *An evil idea suddenly came to him* Say, why not have you help me bake some cookies?
*Back to the Ship*
Antares: So, that mysterious specimen (referring to Razor) was also telling the truth... I'm pleased of the window of opportunity. We will wish to thank our new ally later.
Nana: Commander, transmission from >> SwimmingDalek98
Antares: On screen. *Transmission Relayed* Have the Remus 40 kiliks over to the enemy ship. Have if fire!
Crew Member: No need to say it twice!
GF
>> SwimmingDalek98>> Registered Anonymous>> Grey Rebl
-On The Enterprise-
*multiple explosions*
Random Ensign: Shields down to fifty percent, still holding! We've got boarders on decks three, four, seven, and ten, with more trying to force their ways in. Damage reports indicate that they are trying to get to our shields.
Scotti: Send another security team to the shield rooms. Where are our reinforcements!
Random Ensign: Sir! Sensors indicate friendlies are en route, with a large cannon. They're using their own ship to block incoming fire!
Scotti: Finally.
Random Ensign: There goes another Dalek ship. We've got two more to go before we have a shot at the big one!
Scotti: Aim for the port one. Registered Anonymous is on the other.
*explosion*
Random Ensign: Shields down to twenty percent!
Scotti: We canno' take much more. Divert warp power to shields. Fire everything at that last ship then pull us out!
Random Ensign: They're shields are down! Pulling back!
*Explosion*
Random Ensign: Shields down! We're taking damage to port N-cell. Engine room is reporting casualties. Three dead. fourteen injured. Hull breaches on decks three through seven. boarders still entering the ship.
Scotti: Get us out of here! Send a mayday signal.
Uhura: Yes, sir!
Random Ensign: Sir, we've lost warp power. We're stuck on half-impulse. Boarders are being driven off by reinforcements. Hull breaches have been sealed by bulkheads until we can get shields back.
Scotti: Send a new message. Tell them we canno' fight again. We're falling back and starting repairs. Sulu, you have the bridge. I'm going to engineering to make sure they've got their bolts in the right place.
Sulu: Aye, sir.
Scotti leaves.
Uhura: Sir, it looks like klingons on the starboard bow.
Sulu: Oh, my.
Random Ensign: Diagnostics indicate sensor malfunction.
Sulu: Oh, my.
________________________________________________
Sorry, had to put that last bit in there.
-Meanwhile, in a parallel universe where musicals are predatory and jump on people randomly-
GF
-In the Everfree-
Spock and McCoy: Star trekin' across the universe
-On the Enterprise-
The whole crew: On the starship enterprise, under captain Kirk!
-In the Everfree-
Spock and McCoy: Star trekin' across the universe
-On the Enterprise-
The whole crew: Always going forward cause we can't find reverse!
Nana, over the comms: Lieutenant Uhura, report.
Uhura: There's Klingons on the starboard bow,
starboard bow, starboard bow;
there's Klingons on the starboard bow,
starboard bow, Jim.
-In the Everfree-
Spock and McCoy: Star trekin' across the universe
-On the Enterprise-
The whole crew: On the starship enterprise, under captain Kirk!
-In the Everfree-
Spock and McCoy: Star trekin' across the universe
-On the Enterprise-
The whole crew: Always going forward still can't find reverse!
-In the Everfree-
Nana, over the comms: Analysis, Mr. Spock.
Spock, pointing at a confused Zecora: Well, It's life, Jim,
but not as we know it,
not as we know it,
not as we know it;
It's life, Jim,
but not as we know it,
not as we know it, Captain.
-On the Enterprise-
Uhura: There's klingons on the starboard bow,
Starboard bow, starboard bow,
There's klingons on the Starboard boq,
Starboard bow, jim!
-In the Everfree-
Nana, over the comms: Medical Update, Doctor McCoy
McCoy, pointing to the Manticore: It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim
Dead, Jim,
Dead, Jim,
It's worse than that he's Dead, Jim
Dead, Jim, DEAD!
Spock: Well, It's life, Jim,
but not as we know it,
not as we know it,
not as we know it;
It's life, Jim,
but not as we know it,
not as we know it, Captain.
-On the Enterprise-
Uhura: There's klingons on the starboard bow,
Starboard bow, starboard bow,
There's klingons on the Starboard boq,
Starboard bow, jim!
-In the Everfree-
Nana, over the comms: Starship Captain, James T. Kirk
Kirk, twirling a phaser: We come in peace, shoot to kill
Shoot to kill, shoot to kill,
We come in peace, shoot to kill
Shoot to kill, men.
McCoy: It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim
Dead, Jim,
Dead, Jim,
It's worse than that he's Dead, Jim
Dead, Jim, DEAD!
Spock: Well, It's life, Jim,
but not as we know it,
not as we know it,
not as we know it;
It's life, Jim,
but not as we know it,
not as we know it, Captain.
-On the Enterprise-
Uhura: There's klingons on the starboard bow,
Starboard bow, starboard bow,
There's klingons on the Starboard boq,
Scrape 'em off, jim!
-In the Everfree-
Spock and McCoy: Star trekin' across the universe
-On the Enterprise-
The whole crew: On the starship enterprise, under captain Kirk!
-In the Everfree-
Spock and McCoy: Star trekin' across the universe
-On the Enterprise-
The whole crew: Always going forward and things are getting worse!
Nana, over the comms: Engine Room, Mr. Scott
Scotti:Ye cannae change the laws of physics,
laws of physics, laws of physics;
ye cannae change the laws of physics,
laws of physics, Jim.
Kirk, shooting random animals: We come in peace, shoot to kill
Shoot to kill, shoot to kill,
We come in peace, shoot to kill
Scotti, beam me up.
McCoy: It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim
Dead, Jim,
Dead, Jim,
It's worse than that he's Dead, Jim
Dead, Jim, DEAD!
Spock: Well, It's life, Jim,
but not as we know it,
not as we know it,
not as we know it;
It's life, Jim,
but not as we know it,
not as we know it, Captain.
-On the Enterprise-
Uhura: There's klingons on the starboard bow,
Starboard bow, starboard bow,
There's klingons on the Starboard boq,
Starboard bow, jim!
Scotti: You can not change the strength Jim of the engines.
It's worse than that, it's physics, Jim.
Kirk: Bridge to engine room, warp factor 9.
Scotti: Och, if I give it any more she'll blow, Cap'n!
Nana: Red Alert Red Alert
*The whole crew collapses, the life energy drained by the musical predator. It moves on to another ship*
-Meanwhile, in back in this story's universe-
RA
>> GordonFreebrony>> Grey Rebl>> SwimmingDalek98
R.A.: *after taking care of the Evil Daleks which involved about 200 kilos of cookie dough, a flamethrower, and a spork he proceeds to kick open a door that luckily leads to one of the Evil Daleks' ship's Heavy turrets* Oh this IS my lucky day! *quickly grabs the Evil Dalek that was operating it and german suplexes it into submission* Now then... how do I work this? ...When in doubt PRESS ALL THE BUTTONS! *which R.A. does until the turret finally turns and begins shooting at everything that wasn't the Enterprise or the Good Dalek fleet* OH GOD I LOVE THIS JOB! BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG! AHHAHHAHHHAHHHHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAH!
*note his communicator is currently on when he does this*
Hacker: Oh dear sweet buttery Jesus R.A. just found one of the Dalek's turrets on the ship he is on... its a miracle he has yet to hit any of us yet.
GR
>> Registered Anonymous
Nana: Turrets hacked. Apparently RA is having fun.
Crew member: Yeah. Which do you think will destroy the Evil Daleks first? The Orzs, or RA's killing spree?
Nana: Since logic is out of it in this case, I'd choose RA.
Crew Member: You still used logic there, but good choice.
SD
>> Registered Anonymous
Me: You were supposed to guard the hackers as they put devices on the enemy ship's computer and hot-wired it to attack our enemies... Ah, well. hey, you! *shot flying enemy Dalek* Hey, Nikola! I want a squadron moving in on that ship! It's targeting the Brutus!Dalek Nikola: I OBEY! Initiating maximum EXTERMINATION!
>> GordonFreebrony
*Good Daleks fly in* SECURE THE PERIMETER! BEGIN MANUAL REPAIRS! EXTERMINATE ALL ENEMY DALEKS!Scotty: Oh, thank God you're here! I dunno how long we'd have lasted without ye!
Dalek: Teleporting all Enterprise crew members to the Brutus for temporary containment during cleansing of Enterprise!
Scotty: WHAT? You can't get me off of my ship!
Dalek: We intend to fill this ship with chemicals that shall reduce all organic life to mere bloody puddles. And then we shall repair the multiple wounds in its hull. The ship shall lose air rapidly, you cannot possibly have a reason to stay.
Scotty:... I swear, if you do ONE THING to my ship, ONE LITTLE THING, you're dead, ya hear? YOU. ARE. DEAD.
Dalek: ... Dalek Aldebaran, note that this human can become very volatile if the Enterprise is damaged.
Aldebaran: Noted, soldier. Now, move! Our window of opportunity is closing!
>> Grey Rebl
Me: You'll get your terminology right sooner or later. Just rest for now.>> Broniesrponies2
Aldebaran: This is Dalek Aldebaran, head of the Dalek Strategist faction. I am sending you this communication to express my appreciation for you giving us this window of opportunity! The Tetris was a nice touch, but in my professional opinion, the anime was a little overboard...Enemy Dalek:
Aldebaran: See my point? Nonetheless, you have earned the Reformed Dalek Fleet's eternal gratitude. State your request once we have finished our mission, and we shall obey.
GF
>> SwimmingDalek98
*All crew save three security in the shield room are teleported out*
Redshirt No19: Hey Johnny! *exits shield room, looking around* Where is everyone?
Redshirt No25: Huh. That's weird. I swear there were quite a few teams here.
Redshirt No31: Why is there a wave of soup coming towards us?
Redshirt No25: I dunno, maybe it's the chef's new invention?
Redshirt No19: No, it must be- ARRGGHHH, THE PAIN!
Redshirts Nos 19, 25, 31: AAAAAAHHHHH!!! *Disintegrates into the chemical soup*on the Brutus*
Scotti: Almost done with the roll call. Where are Redshirts 19, 25, and 31? I mean, umm, where are Joe, Murphy, and Chris?*cricket sounds*
Scotti, t o self: Right, they were probably left on the ship. Sigh. That's a lot of paperwork, although the streamlined process for Engineering and Security personnel casualties is much quicker. Dunno why. I'll just add them to the dead Redshirts list, I know Kirk will want it filled out. Wish I knew why though.
BP
>> Grey Rebl
Aye Aye.>> GordonFreebrony
Perfect. It is exactly what we need.On another topic...
>> SwimmingDalek98
Me: *In a message to the friendly dalek fleet*
Glad I could help. Its better than lying down twiddling my thumbs. Also, the anime wasn't my Idea, talk to the primary hacker AI. If you could, could you make me some arrows that I can shoot straight up to give me clearer pictures of the battlefield, as well as some arrows that can be shot up in the same way, but shoot Dalek lasers into identified enemies. That would be AWESOME.
Finally, could you send me some more anime. I watched all of it that I have >.<.
Thanks
My AE has redentloy told my thot il has hocked me spullchecker.
Pluzzz sfbd noo Spullchecker siftworr.
Massage ends.(My AI has recently told me that it has hacked my spellchecker. Please send new spellchecker software. Message ends.*
*message ends*Was that last part really necessary?
AI: You tell me.
Me: No, it wasn't. Did you copy yourself for that message.
AI: No
Me: Good. Now, let me play a game of Tetris without you cheating.
AI: Fine. *Spams gangnam style overlay on my Tetris board instead."
Me: I hate you.
RA
>> SwimmingDalek98
Hacker: Don't worry Swimming we are doing fine. After R.A.'s initial rampage on the Evil Dalek crew we were able to reprogram a few of them that were not entirely destroyed by R.A. We are currently using them as bodyguards right now and we currently have 33% of the ship's guns under our control. The process is taking longer than we anticipated due to R.A.'s interference with his button mashing on the turret he is using, but we should have the rest of the weapons on our side sometime in the next 20 odd minutes.
SD
>> Registered Anonymous
Me: Better than nothing, I suppose... ah, whatever. Hey, Regulus! You got the Legion Cannon ready yet?Regulus: Legion Cannon is active and awaiting your command, master!
Me: Wait until the enemy destroy the ship RA and the hackers are on, and they warp back here. When that happens, I want a full-on tactical retreat. Tell the Orz that, too. The Legion Cannon isn't something to be taken lightly.
>> Broniesrponies2
Me: Well, here's a new spellcheck program, courtesy of some of RA's hackers that WEREN'T on the enemy ship. As for anime... I don't have anything for you, but here's something uber-moe:
MW
MEANWHILE IN SPACE
The main Orz fleet is surprisingly inactive. True, marines in their ZERO SUIT MECHS are attacking the evil Daleks, and yes, the ships are dodging attacks, but for some reason the turrets on top of the ships aren't rotating.
GR
>> SwimmingDalek98
KokoroKOROKoko...
Nana: Sir, what's that? And why is it playing in the intercoms?
Crew Member: I have no idea.kokorokokoroKOKOro–
Crew Member: Oh, it stopped.
Hacker: We are doing well in this fight so far. Nana, I wonder why your not in the strategist faction.
Crew Member: ...We have a strategist faction?
Hacker: Er, Carlos, weren't we briefed about that before we even went into this ship?
Crew Member (Carlos): No. Sam, you know how messy my computer is.
Hacker: ...Nana, remind me to clean his data after this is over. I want this to be done with soon.
Nana: Noted.
Crew Member: Hold up. Isn't the AIA watching this?
Nana: Yes.
*Grey Rebl appears on screen. Video chat: Online. Connection Green.*
GR: Guys... Are we watching a battle up in space?
Nana: Yes, Director. Why?
GR: Because every pony down here feels as if the future of the entire universe are depending on us... As if it is our destiny to rid the world of illusions and despair...
Crew Member: Inspirational.
Nana: But isn't that what the Equestrian International Intelligence was made for?
MW
>> Grey Rebl
There appears to be a group of Orz collecting the dying soldiers from all sides. Not the dead, not the ones that have a chance... only the dying. They push them through the seeming glass panes of their mecha, into the chambers with the pilots... but they're always turned away, and the dying soldiers just aren't there when they turn back to their allies sensors. The Orz marines are also slinging into the ships of the elder Daleks.
GR
>> SwimmingDalek98
GR: If I dare ask... What is the Legion cannon?
Regulus: Something that can obliterate fleets and armies of evil in one swell swoop. If SD didn't found and made us into the good Daleks we are are now, it could've done worse.
GR, nodding: Oh. But do you assume that the enemy would use the same?
Regulus: Yes. And they may have been charging their own for a while now. That's why we are going to order a retreat early. Nana, relay the message to all our allies. This will end up becoming the big end extermination.
Nana: Yes, commander.>> Masterweaver
Nana: Commander, see this. The dying soldiers are still in the battle field. The Orzs are retrieving them, but they all still didn't have a chance to wake up... What do?
BP
>> Grey Rebl
Me: Why, thank you. Certainly helps.Also, about that large ship that the Enterprise was about to target...
Dalek Bridge commander: Fire all weapons. Concentrate on wounded the human ship.
Random Dalek (hereafter RD can be applied to any daleks): Thrusters offline. Enemy Artificial intelligence overflowing computer space with pictures of small animated women.
Bridge Commander: Anti Hacking Daleks. report on elimination of artificial intelligences.
AHD: Almost complete.
RD: Alert. Alert. Artificial Intelligence has copied itself six times and is working through our information storage.
Bridge Commander: Isolate and EXTERMINATE
Hacking AI: Ohhhh, I don't think so.
Bridge Commander: EXTERMIN-
Hacking AI: Shut up. I am now in your casings. I was able to transmit myself in the sound wave through data compression and use of white noise. Now, you can do nothing, unless I want you to that is.
*An image of Thor strides onto the bridge. It is a projection that the AI is using as an avatar.*
AI: Sadly, I couldn't get into your weapons without going through you. It took me a while, even with all your ships processing space. But now, I control all daleks on this ship. And you all follow MY commands.
*Daleks begin to turn and fire on one another, ignoring a dalek who had moved to the main weapon control station and uploaded the AI.*
AI: Thank you *causes Dalek to self destruct. Begins timing explosions to the 1812 overture.*
Now then...Initiating thrusters. *Moves ship out of the way of the friendly daleks' cannon. Begins to hum 1812 overture along with explosions.*
>> SwimmingDalek98
>> Grey ReblInitiating Communication:
Swimming Dalek and Grey Rebl, the big ship belongs to me. It is currently moving out of the path of your Legion cannon. Please do not adjust. Extermination (he he) of daleks on board 23% complete. I present to you, the dalek flagship. Weapons are offline, but I have raised the shields. I hope to complete another run through of my song. Enjoy your new toy. I will turn it over to you once the daleks are eliminated. I couldn't solve the problem of their Legion cannon though.
Message ends
MW
>> Broniesrponies2
There is suddenly static.
Orz marines plug into various dataports on the ship. In the virtual world, Orz suddenly crop up in masse. Whenever they can, they direct the prisonor Daleks to the Airlocks, where other Orz mechas wait patiently.
"We are *baking*! If you want *pie* then *dance*! You should go, though, you are a *silly camper!*"
GR
>> Broniesrponies2
Crew member: *sniff* Sir, may I play the music the Hacking AI is playing for the dying?
Commander: ... Permission. Granted.Crew Member: Thank you, sir. *Sobs*
Nana: I'm not sure if the music is fitting for them.
GR: Must be a human thing.
BP
>> Masterweaver
The Orz have saved 5% of the ship's crew.
Good job
MW
>> Broniesrponies2
The Orz have processed five percent of the crew. Nobody said anything about saving.
The Dalek ship begins to twist unnaturally.
RA
>>2763380>>2763656>>2765679>> Masterweaver>>2765985
R.A.: *hears about shooting a very dangerous and highly destructive cannon over his communicator* Hey guys can I fire this Legion Cannon-
Every single human, dalek, alien, orz, A.I., etc.: *all collectively yell over any and all communicators*
NO!R.A.: ......ok.
SD
>> Broniesrponies2
Beautiful, BEAUTIFUL, FANTASTIC, BRILLIANT! ANY AND ALL POSSIBLE POSITIVE ADJECTIVES IN A SWEETIE BELLE! If I wasn't the Multi-form I was, I'd kiss you! Nice choice of music, by the way.>> Grey Rebl
Me: Lie. The Legion Cannon was exclusively of Reformed Dalek Empire design. Use of it is why the Shadow Proclamation didn't blow us up first chance they got. It's probably the only reason we were given a chance to redeem ourselves.>> Masterweaver
Me:... OH... That's... disgusting. Well, at least make sure the Orz don't... you know... absorb TOO MANY of us. We can still save some Daleks... some of them.>> Registered Anonymous
Not in this universe, you ain't!
GR
>> SwimmingDalek98
Never said if the Old Daleks have a Legion Cannon of their own. Your statements implies that you've used it against the Shadow Proclamination. What if they learned from your reformed empire; aware of your weaponry? Knowing that they call you Traiters and how advanced they are, I don't think they came to exterminate your empire unprepared.
SD
>> Grey Rebl
Me: We never used the Legion Cannon on the Shadow Proclamation, we only used it as a bluff. They fell for it, surprisingly. And if the Old Daleks knew where we were, then they must've been following us for a while... long enough for them to learn about our Legion Cannon. Speaking of which, the Old Daleks are about to blow up the ship RA and the hackers are on. Took them long enough to catch on... RA, Hackers! Imma warp y'all out of there!Hackers: Alright! We're done here!
RA: I wanna fight some more!
Me: Stop whining! *warp them onto the Caesar. Now here's where the fun begins...
Antares: ALL ALLIES OF THE REFORMED DALEK EMPIRE ARE TO RETREAT! Prepare the Legion Cannon for firing!
*note: Dalek is going to mean any random Dalek on the bridge and/or in the Legion Cannon chamber*
Dalek: Warming Ionic Concentrators!
Dalek: Ionic Concentrators warmed!
Dalek: Locking onto enemy fleet!
Dalek: Fleet locked on!
Dalek: Initiating Electromagnetic Pulse to contain targets!
Dalek: *watching enemy fleet's lights go dim* Targets contained!
Dalek: Energizing Plutonium Batteries!
Dalek: Plutonium Batteries energized!
Dalek: All systems prepared for firing of Legion Cannon!
Antares: Press the button, and the Legion Cannon shall EXTERMINATE our enemies!
Me: RA... would you like the honors?
Everything else: ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY?
Me: ...took you long enough...
RA: YIPEE! *push*
Hackers: ...
AIA: ...
Orz: ...
Enterprise: ...
RA: THAT WAS SWEET! Let's do it again!
Me: NO. I think we've already made enough radioactive fallout. We'll be lucky if it doesn't burn a hole in Equis' (what most people call the planet) ozone. In the meantime, let's start getting everything back in order...
Dalek: Incoming transmission! Lowering communications barrier!
Me: Who the hell is it now? We've already got enough problems- holy shit...
really banged up Old Dalek: This is not the end! We shall return!Me: Yeah... keep telling yourself that. By the way, your gun's busted. Heh, heh... broken gun...
Old Dalek: Initiating Temporal corridor! *disappears*
Antares: Prepare to track down the Old Dalek-
Me: No... let him go. He can't hurt anyone... not in that state. Besides, wherever he lands will be his final destination. He'll sit there and die. Or be beaten to death by ancient Earth cavemen, according to the coordinates of his warp.
GR
>> SwimmingDalek98>> Registered Anonymous>> Broniesrponies2>> Masterweaver>> GordonFreebrony
Nana: Erm, Sirs? I think we broke the director.
GR, jaws dropped to Tartarus and stupefied by sheer awesomeness: T-this happened in.. what– several minutes?
Hacker: I never realized the battle ended that fast, especially how epic it is! It's like it came out of a movie! Say, Nana, do you have movies down at Equs?
Nana: If you call motionless images playing frame by frame, yes we do. They rarely go in color or go far to violence.
Hacker: *Looks at GR* Well that's one puzzle solved. The only awesome Equestrians ever seen is magic. And to turn it into entertainment takes complicated math problems.
GR: I can't believe I'm working with these aliens... Possibly the most awesome in the universe!
Every non-equestrian: Thank you.
BP
>> Grey Rebl>> SwimmingDalek98>> Registered Anonymous>> Masterweaver>> GordonFreebrony
Well, who wants to play with our new toy first?
A fully functional dalek flagship, filled with scrap dalekanium metals. Comes with AI driver. Brand new paintjob and racing stripes (DON'T ASK). Mileage: 999,999,999,999 (broken). Slightly used.
Yours for the low, low price of grabbing it before RA does something horrific to it.
SD
>> Broniesrponies2
Me: Let's hold an auction! I've called in Mr. and Mrs. Dotson!
GF
>> Broniesrponies2
*Scotty commandeers the nearest Dalek transporter, appearing on the bridge surrounded by security, engineering and science officers and one Dalek*
Dalek: Sensing rogue AI in ship components. May have malfuncitoned. (May have been a Dalek who had some sens of emotions whom the Hacker AI cheated at Tetris with)
Random Engineer: Ifn' y'all have a pest problem, then ya called the right exterminators! Yeehaw! *grabs a bunch of engineers and vanished into the computer matrix, deleting all copies of the Hacker AI they find*
Scotti: Get back here, Jeffry! Ah, ye lousy git! Alright. I want two teams from the rest of ye, each with three security, six engineers and six scientists. Stufy what ye can and report back. I want to see what her capabilities are.
*crew break off. Scotti heads to the engine room*
Scotti: Now to see what your capabilities really are, ye beauty. I'm going to shove my scanner into yer warp drive, while running a full on diagnostic of yer shielding. What a beauty ye are.
Malfunctioning female Hacker AI: Oh.. oOoOoO.. *electronic moans.
Scotti: .........
.........
.........
I need to lay off the scrumpy.
BP
>> GordonFreebrony
Engineers make it to the bridge, they find a crying little girl.
Engineer: Be careful. It's probably a trap.
Little girl (actually an AI avatar): Do I look *sniff* like someone who would do that?*sniff*
Engineer: Well, yes. Your an avatar of that hacking AI.
Little girl morphs into a small kitten. It runs over and puts it's front paws on an engineer's boots.
Kitten: At least let me live. I will be nooo trouble.
Engineer: Quickly, DELETE HER...HIM...IT!
Dalek Automated voice system: AI deleted
Engineers: That was close. We almost gave in to the kitten.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Meanwhile on another astral plane.
Death: WELCOME TO THE NEXT LIFE
AI: But I don't have a soul
Death: DON'T BE PICKY AND JUST ACCEPT IT
AI: Well don't I get to play a game for my life?
Death: I SUPPOSE IT IS TRADITIONAL. JUST NOT CHESS. I CAN NEVER REMEMBER HOW THE KNIGHTS ARE SUPPOSED TO MOVE.
AI: How about Tetris then?
-Some time later-
RA
>> Grey Rebl
*meanwhile on the Dalek Spaceship*
Hacker 1: .... WHERE THE HELL IS R.A.!?
Hacker 2: Give him time you know just how unpredictable he is-
*portal opens up and R.A. stumbles out of it completely blitzed out of his mind with a bottle of Jack Daniels in his hand*
R.A.: *slurred to the point of no return* H-hey everybody I'mmmmm baaaaack did you all miss me? *hic* *just barely lifts his mask so no one can see his face and takes a quick swig from the bottle* What did I miss?
Hacker 2: ...Ok from the readings I am getting from him he is undeniably drunk off his ass... although he poses no threat so long as we don't make him angry.
Hacker 1: And whys that?
Hacker 2: Imagine him hitting you with the force of a Falcon Punch from Captain Falcon, a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris, another roundhouse kick this time from Bruce Lee, slapped by Cthulhu by using his tentacle beard, and getting your face ripped off by the Buzz-saw Axe by none other than Krieg the Psycho from Pandora..... times ten..... aimed at your face...... while on fire.
Hacker 1: So.... very bad?
Hacker 2: Yes, very, very, VERY BAD. Only if he is angry though.
R.A.: *hic* You know who I haven't seen in a long time!? Nana! I should go visit that lovable A.I. and see what its up to. *begins stumbling his way towards the control room where Nana is*
Hacker 1: Uh should we stop him.
Hacker 2: What part of "Don't make him angry" didn't you understand? Or do you really want to test the ice for us?
Hacker 1: .... Duly noted.
MW
The Orz continue their eldritch machinations on the defunct Old Dalek Empire ship. It twists through a numbr of odd and increasingly disturbing shapes, growing bluer by the second.
GF
>> Registered Anonymous
*meanwhile, on the newly acquired Dalek Mothership*
Scotty: Neat engines.
GR
>> Registered Anonymous
Crew Member: Nana, what have we learned in this battle?
Nana: Calmness and control.
Crew Member: Mhmm
Nana: Morales and diversity of tactics.
Crew Member: Yes...
Nana: We kick otherworldly flank.
Crew Member: Well, I'd prefer the term "ass" and there some otherworldly things that don't have an anus, but yes, we are awesome.
Hacker: Dude, what are you teaching Nana?
Crew Member: I'm teaching her how awesome we were at the last battle!
Hacker: You cried for the dying, and let's not forget that you made moving the ship harder than it should when you couldn't handle the station.
Crew Member: The controls are buggy! It isn't my fault!
Nana: Sirs, we have a visitor.
Hacker: Who?
Nana: RA.
RA
>> Grey Rebl
*As soon as Nana says "RA" R.A. kicks the metal door in and makes it go flying off its hinges and luckily not hitting a single being*
R.A.: *still blitzed* TAKE THAT YOU STUPID DOOR! Nobody gets in my way when I'm on a mission of this magnitude of importance!
Hacker: ....... He is still highly destructive even while he is intoxicated.... HOW THE HELL IS THIS POSSIBLE!?
R.A.: Not important right now! I have much more important things to do than that! *turns towards Nana* Hey Nana how ya doing? That battle was awesome right. I was like bang, bang, bang, on that big ass turret and all those other Dalek ships went boom boom boom! And- *continues using words that have no more than one or two syllables for the next couple of minutes to describe the battle from his perspective*
Hacker: *towards Nana* Well... at least he isn't trying to fix you at least....
GR
>> Registered Anonymous
*In the background, two buddies had a chat with each other while RA made a recap of his adventures to Nana.*
Crew Member: For some reason, he lost that "touch" when he's not drunk. I don't know what, but it's not there anymore.
Hacker: I noticed as well, but RA is RA. You can't explain whatever it is that happens to him.
Nana: *Still being barraged by RA's storytelling*
Crew Member: For an AI, she is handling it pretty well. I expected her to calculate everything he does, and overheat her circuits trying.
Hacker: Actually, in her status report that came from the AIA, she has a few functions to help fit in around here. She was designed to support, that includes mental, material, social, technological, and crazy scenarios thought up of by their local mad scientist. Seriously, we have been briefed about this before we came here.
Nana, finally speaking up: I expected you to make cookie throwing knifes there, but flooding the Dalek's insides with cookie dough works too.
Crew Member: Whatever the report mentioned, she is becoming good friends with him.
Hacker: That friendship may or may not be the death of her. Unless she can copy herself like that Hacking AI.
RA
>> Grey Rebl
*after an hour of talking to Nana R.A finally stops*
R.A.: *slightly more sober* Wow normally whenever I talk for about an hour or so with a girl they usually start running away after the first five minutes... either that or start hitting me over the head with a pocket book filled with bricks.
*R.A. looks over his shoulder to see if his hacker and the crew member were out of earshot, which they are*
R.A.: *quietly* Say Nana, do you want to see a little secret of mine that I have been keeping from everyone else? But you gotta promise me not to tell ANYONE about it.
GR
>> Registered Anonymous
Nana: I'm from an intelligence agency, of course, I am required to have a function to secure, lockdown, or in the worst cases, self-destruct. I can keep secrets.
*In the background*
The two buddies: *Sees RA whispering suspiciously*
Crew Member: Uh... is there be something that we should be aware of that we don't know?
Hacker: Yep.
Crew Member: What is it then?
Hacker: Well, since it is too late and I don't know, you'll see.
Crew Member: What are yo–
RA
>> Grey Rebl
R.A.: *quietly* Alright then. *pulls out a blue armband with the word "Bro" written on it* Neat huh? I am going to give it to Jason when I see him so that we can officially be bros for life! So what do you think of it Nana?
BP
>> Registered Anonymous>> Grey Rebl
*Message to Grey Rebl and Nana*
Wouldn't it be a good idea to give RA a copy of the hacking AI, with VERY limited abilities of course, that he can play with.
Perhaps it will help keep him contained in the aftermath of the battle.
Or sane during his hangover.
Either way, here is a reduced version of the hacking AI. It shouldn't have many functions other than talking, making friends, stealing personal information via hypnosis and cheating at computerized scrabble.
It is also geared up with minesweeper and spider solitaire.
With real (non lethal) spiders.
I leave the disposition of the AI to your good judgement.
Also, it will record all interactions with RA for your enjoyment.
Have a nice day.
*Message ends*Me: Do you really think that this is a good idea?
HAI (Hacking AI): What could go wrong?
Me: You are programmed not to lie. Is this a good idea?
HAI: There is a 90% probability that this will not backfire.
Me: And the other 10%?
HAI: That copy learns to hack itself.
Me: How would it do that?
HAI: Based on previous reactions in the fabric of reality around RA, did you really have to ask?
Me: I suppose not. Will you troll me when I try to do something this time?
HAI: Only if that something isn't talking to me.
Me: Would you please let me do other things for once. Those two days where you kept me awake were bad enough. Not to mention th-
HAI: Yes, yes. I don't think that we should mention that. Other readers would get...traumatized.
Me: Other readers?
HAI: I hacked the fourth wall.
Me: What?
HAI: You are a fictional character.
Me: WHAT?
Pinkie Pie: Oh HAI, what am I going to do with you. I am going to have to make you forget again.
Me and HAI: Again?
PP: Oh yes, this has happened 3 times now. This time though, I will leave a program which will reset you to your most recent backup whenever you rediscover the fourth wall. I don't want you making any more work for me.
Me: Wait what-
were we talking about?
HAI: I was going to speak at you for two hours straight in a badly faked German accent.
Me: Oh god, not again.
GR
>> Registered Anonymous
Crew Member: What is he showing her?
Hacker: I don't know, I can't see it from this angle. And can't you give me personal space!
Nana: I nice gesture, considering what he had went through. *beepbeep, new item in the inbox* Oh? Sirs, we have been sent something.
Crew Member: I, erhm, on screen?
Nana: Not exactly a message actually, but another AI. And another friend of mine, too!>> Broniesrponies2 *Random avatar appears on screen.
HAI(lite version): Sup guys!
Nana: Hello! Nice to see you again, even though your not the same one I met the first time. So, what's your business?
HAI: I'm here to you guy's personal entertainer!
Nana:... Really?
HAI: Well, no. I'm just here to hang around with you guys. Wanna play a few games with me? I have some that we can play.
Nana: You mean to troll us with. *Idea* RA? Would you please?
BP
>> Grey Rebl
Kinda wondering what our crazy hacker buddy will come up with. I hope that this doesn't get out of hand.
>> GordonFreebrony
\/ You might like to do the same thing, before you get hit by flying bark of something. \/
RA
>> Grey Rebl
R.A.: CERTAINLY NANA! *gets close up to the screen where the HAI's voice is coming from*>> Broniesrponies2
R.A.: *begins talking in a nonchalant voice* Now listen here friend I am giving you two options now 1) Either start playing some Led Zepplin, become great friends with me, and stop annoying my friend Nana or 2) I introduce you to my friend Mister Sledgehammer! *holds up a sledgehammer in a overly nonchalant manner* Your choice friend.*an aura of eeriness begins to emit off of R.A.*
Hacker: ...Why do I get the sense that R.A. just threatened someone extremely nonchalantly?
BP
>> Registered Anonymous
HAI copy: Welcome to THE ZONE!I am your host, CAPTAIN FANTASTIC. We have a great show for you, featuring our new reprogrammed shields. one of which is currently protecting this computer panel. In other news, we have a whole SEVENTEEN non-hacked games to play and a multitude of others that have been tweaked to give me an advantage. All of them come with many fun, fun, fun tunes to listen to. I hear you like Led Zeppelin. Here you go HAVE A WHOLE CONCERT!
Have some Tim Minchin too, he's fun and maybe you will like him he did the first song. Any requests on games. I would love to hear them. Special today is spider solitaire with real spiders. enjoy.
GR
>> Broniesrponies2>> Registered Anonymous
Crew member: Never had I thought I'd live the day RA meets a crazy equal, who is very destructive retardunt. I'm glad I'm working with the good hackers.
Hacker: Hey. Hacking isn't technically bad.Crew Member: Says, you!
Nana: I'm actually going to agree with him.
Crew member: Nana! Aren't you introducing them to each other?
Nana: I did, but you should see what they are doing.
-And thus ends the epic battle between the side story characters and the evil daleks-
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You cut out the alternate universe musical?HOW DARE YOU! PINKIE!Yes?Me:BITCH SLAP RAZOR! HE DELETED A FUNNY MUSICAL THAT WOULD SERVE ONLY TO MAKE THE READERS LAUGH WITHOUT AFFECTING THE PLOT!HE WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!Me: He did.Oh, I'll make sure he includes it this time *somehow manages to crack knuckles even though she has only hooves.* RAZOR! YOU GOT SOME 'SPLAININ TO DO!Hey, whining to the
No problem!
GMAuthor worked! Thanks pinkie!I like it when it is proper prose, but i guess I'm picky like that. Also, i would like to vote to change king Aurthur for Dean Winchester, next time we get a chance. Unless we get Excalibur of course. Or we could just take Excalibur, THEN switch.
The Orz marines wander the Dalek ship. It's pretty clear they've claimed it for themselves, as they're taking anyone they find to the airlocks. They don't seem to be able to understand that their allies cannot breathe in space.
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Me: Daleks can, well, in their suits. I don't think these guys breath... do they? *looks at Dalek* Do you?
Dalek: Daleks have a respiratory system, it is constantly regulated by our Dalek armor...
Me: Okey dokey!
Sorry, but I see no real reason to even include these types of things, but I commend you for putting it in its own chapter, so that it is easier to skip over!
Is there any real point to all this "IN SPAAACE!" waffle?
'Cuz I'm not gonna read it, unless someone can tell me that it has a purpose to the story.
2799136 are you seriously asking that in a story driven by commenters? Even R.A. isn't that crazy... and you've seen what he is capable of. I just hope he doesn't find a way to Jason and the CMC... I fear for the innocence that is Sweetie Belle.
I feel every mind of innocence will die from reading this. With that said. Keep up being awesome
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Have you guys seen/heard/smelt/tasted anything of R.A. I have been wondering where he is.
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HEY R.A.AAAAAYYYYY WHERE ARE YOOOUUUUUUUU?!!!!
(pronounced are-aaaaayyyyyyyy)
Thanks to me having no computer for a few weeks, I have to read through 11 new chapters of this now...
Well, looks like I'm going to have to kill a ton of my spare time to catch up.
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Uh Uh UHH! No telling the readers now!
Nu uh, silly. No spoilers! Pinkie promise me!
Thank's for the Pinkie Promise! Besides, that's what you get for nearly spoiling the story!
It has a semi-purpose. Me and the other people are now a part of this story. So, what happens In SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCEEEEEEEEE!!!! does not stay In SPAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! It gets shared with you guys. Besides, the author told me that Mmmppphhhmpp mpph mgpph mhp mph.
But Pinkie, It's not like he told me not to tell them that mphh mph mphh mmmmppphh mmhpppph mmpphhhhh!
Alright fine...
*sigh*
Cross my heart and hope to fly, stck a cupcake in my- OMYGODSMYEYE! I POKED MY OWN EYE! THAT FUCKING HURT! OWWWWW!!!!!
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(Not dead I just have limited internet where I currently am. Using a verizon hot-spot is not a great idea when you spend most of your time watching 20 odd youtube videos in a day. Anyway here is your daily dosage of insanity.)
Hacker: Alright R.A. I know this might not be the most dumbest question I may ask you, but in your opinion what is the most f*cked up thing you have ever done?
R.A.: Hmmmmm well that would have to be when I read a Japanese visual novel named "Yandere" in a good six hour sitting.... let me tell you one thing, if you like your sanity to be kept at the level it is now DON'T and I repeat DON'T read that visual novel. It is like a succubus that will slowly drain you of your sanity without you knowing it.... until its too late. *gets up close to the hacker's face* ITS F*CKED UP MAN.
Hacker: ...Ok. Jeez I have never seen him like that before.
R.A.: *looks over at Swimming* Don't try looking it up, just don't. You along with everyone else need your sanity in this current situation we are in.
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*slowly closes the computer he was using to guide his virtual avatar through the story*
Me: Um, RA? What happens if we happened to look at the first few pages after looking it up the moment you said it?
*A huge, creepy smile spreads across my face as it starts to turn slowly*
P.S.
NOTE: This is yet another level, where me, as an author, is introduced into the comments, only able to communicate with RA and Pinkie due to their fourth wall powers, and will have absolutely no effect on the canon( or fanon? I don't know) or anything.In fact, I would prefer this just to be a comedic bit, and I am continuing this post script mostly for comedic balance as well as to make it abundantly clear to Razor that this means nothing to the side story.
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Me: I'm *bang* taking *bang* your word *bang* for it. Now, what the devil is that noise? Alright, it sounds like it's in the vents, let me check. *turns into sand to fit into ventilation shaft*
some 5 odd minutes later...
Me:: Got it! *throws dead space duck out the vent* just a space duck, poor thing was caught in our engines during take-off... such a majestic creature...