-Meanwhile in a parallel universe where Snowflame is in Equestria-
Well, I got nothing.
Can Snowflame make a comment?
No.
Too bad, it is obvious that Cthulhu Man has the power of cocaine! Tell him to embrace the power of the white god of ecstasy! Oh and Snowflame Writter Guy, get back to writing Snowflame!
I want to do other things right now.
That wasn't a suggestion. It was an order.
Snowflame was sitting at a booth in Sugarcube corner with his new friend The Ultimate Warrior, Discord, and the assassin that tried to kill him but now wanted to be his friend, Obito when suddenly, all of time froze except for him. It was if somebody had hit the pause button on reality. Snowflame blinked for a moment to make sure that he hadn't taken too much cocaine from his new armband.... even though he knew cocaine was not supposed to work this way.
When he opened his eyes again, this guy standing across the table from him.
"YOU!" Snowflame shouted as he leapt up from his seat, over the table, and with one swift motion made a sweeping kick at the man he had previously thought he fought in the Everfree Forest in a non-canon side story written by the author who is currently writing this story. Since this was not the character but rather an avatar of the author himself, Razor grabbed Snowflame's leg with his left hand before it even hit him, spun Snowflame around, knocking the table away in the process, and then slammed him into the ground behind him.
Snowflame, undeterred and feeling no pain, quickly got back up and threw a punch at Razor. Razor however, grabbed his fist like it was nothing and twisted it 180 degrees. Snowflame, suddenly able to feel an exquisite amount of pain, shouted at the top of his lungs as a sensation unfamiliar to him scorched his entire arm. At that, Razor then let go of Snowflame's fist and slapped him across the face with his other hand.
"Yo, Snowflame," Razor said to him as Snowflame grabbed his wrist. "Quit being a f***ing jerk. KenSES64 doesn't wanna write that story right now. He's not like me where this is the only thing he writes, he does other things too."
"Why should Snowflame listen to you!?" Snowflame yelled back at Razor through the seething pain. "You don't write my stories!"
"Because if you don't," Razor continued. "I'll trap you in this place.
-Meanwhile in a parallel universe where homework is drugs-
"What is this?" Snowflame asked as he looked around, his wrist somehow miraculously healed. "It's just the teacher pony's class-"
"SHH!!!" Razor shushed him before he could even finish.
Ms. Cheerilee sat at her desk, looking down at some papers when Applejack and Rarity walked in and took seats right across from her. None of them seemed to notice Razor or Snowflame.
"Yah wanted to see us, Ms. Cheerilee?"
"Yes," Ms. Cheerilee responded as she took her attention away from her paperwork and up at them. "It's about your sisters. Something's happened with them and I...." She seemed nervous for some reason. "Well.... I wanted to talk to the two of you before I spoke with their parents."
"What is it?" Rarity asked, now sounding worried. "Nothing serious I hope." Ms. Cheerilee didn't respond for several moments. She looked like she really wanted to say something, but didn't know the correct words with which to phrase it, or to say it in the best way possible. After a moment of looking back and forth between them, she closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and told them.
"Today during recess I caught them doing...." This was it, she paused for another moment before the last word escaped out her throat. "Homework."
The moment that word hit their ears, Applejack and Rarity's eyes became as wide as dinner plates and their jaws hit the floor. As did Snowflame's when he realized exactly where Razor had taken him.
"NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Snowflame shouted to the heavens. "TAKE SNOWFLAME BACK! DON'T LEAVE SNOWFLAME HERE IN THIS-"
-Meanwhile in a parallel universe where Snowflame is not in Equestria, but will be once this title card is over-
Snowflame and Razor suddenly appeared back in Sugarcube corner with Snowflame sitting in the same seat he was before. Within moments of being back, he took several deep breaths, and then threw his head onto the table and started crying.
"Now," Razor said to him. "Are you gonna keep being a c***bucket, or are you gonna let Kenny do what he wants?"
"I want to be good!" Snowflame shouted through the tears. "I'll be good!!!"
"Good," Razor replied. Seeming satisfied. "Now to continue with the joke."
"Wha-"
-Meanwhile in a parallel universe where all ponies are aware of the narration-
As Rainbow Dash flew past Applejack, she couldn't help but think of her nice, well toned flanks.
"WHAT!?" Applejack shouted as her face turned as red as one of her red delicious apples. "DASH!!
"I.... I.... I, uh....." Rainbow Dash stuttered, her face about as red as Applejack's. As Applejack watched her try to form a coherent sentence, she couldn't help but think about just how much she wanted to bury her face in Dash's netherlands and go to town.
And now it was Dash's turn for her face to get as red as an apple. Even though it was already red to begin with.
-Meanwhile in a parallel universe where nopony is called Steve-
"Hey, Pinkie," Twilight said as she walked up to her friend.
"Oh, hey Twilight, what's up?" Pinkie asked as she landed on the ground again from her latest bounce.
"I was just curious," Twilight said. "Do you happen to know anypony named Steve?" Pinkie had to bring a hoof to her chin and think for a moment about that.
"No," she replied after that moment. "I don't think so."
"Me neither," Twilight replied.
"That is weird," Pinkie Pie said again with her hoof still on her chin.
"F***!!!" Twilight and Pinkie turned to see a rather young, egyptian boy with white hair and a rod with a ball and two spikes on the end and an eye design on the ball. "WRONG UNIVERSE!!!"
-Meanwhile in a parallel universe where Razor can't type coherently to save his life-
dhfk;sahtoefnsdlkfhwfhinne 'lv WOEITeilhklefjriklgj wo?;ruj' [tuweop;gLEQ?Kfn AKL?S fnjwiohrj"rtjalkshr qla; rkjfwoiJDOW;GQ;LAJTV WPEOA;TUQELA FMELKEHEWILAFACMN;S FWOI;hrgkfksjd
-Meanwhile in a parallel universe populated by intelligent monkeys-
-Meanwhile in a parallel universe where dinosaurs are still alive, but are also invisible-
Lyra and Bon Bon stood back to back in the center of Ponyville town square, both absolutely winded, but still ready for anything. Smoke was coming out of the barrels of Bon Bon's shotgun, and Lyra's chainsaw was just now slowing down. The town around them was in shambles, completely destroyed, and Lyra and Bon Bon themselves were absolutely covered from head to hoof in invisible dinosaur blood.
"Groovy," Lyra said to nopony in particular as she let her chainsaw fall, all the dinosaurs having been defeated. She didn't to say or do anything else before she turned around, only to have Bon Bon tackle her to the ground and shove her tongue inside of Lyra's mouth.
-Meanwhile in a parallel universe where books are hot-
"OH CELESTIA! OH YEAH! OH CELESTIA......... YES..... YES YES YES BANG ME LIKE A-"
"Twilight, what are yo-" Spike couldn't even finish his sentence as he opened the door to Twilight's room, and had to stop dead in his tracks.
The sight in front of him, the one that would be forever burned into his eyes was.
*TOO HOT FOR THIS STORY*
*TOO HOT FOR THIS STORY*
*TOO HOT FOR THIS STORY*
*GET RAINBOWBOB TO WRITE IT IF YOU REALLY WANNA SEE WHAT HAPPENED*
-Meanwhile in a parallel universe where foals are explosive-
Princess Cadence put a hoof to her tummy.
"I think I'm pregnant," she said aloud. At those words, Shining Armor took off from his couch, ran out the door, and put a deadbolt lock spell on it.
"Sir, what's-" a member of Shining's guard asked him before he was cut off by him.
"GET DOWN!!!" Shining Armor yelled as he bolted as far away from the door as he physically could.
-Meanwhile in a parallel universe where Jason Morgan never landed in Equestria-
-Meanwhile in our universe-
Somewhere in Connecticut
"DON'T CALL ME KENNY!!!!!!!"
-Meanwhile in this story's universe-
You have a lot to think about. Get some water and chew something vigorously to ease the anxiety a little. Wait, no. Jason had just survived wounds that no normal pony could recover from for WEEKS! Whatever books said about humans, they sure never told you about this! Everything you seemed to learn about humans had seem pointless compared to this. How can this be? Jason, who was on the run just a few weeks ago, have powers strong enough to... to...
You need that water, and flowers to chew on.
stare at nothing wide eyed badfled at this
All you can do... is stare blankly at the doctor pony wide eyed. None of the books you've read or any of the research you've ever done on humans have said anything about this. From what you do know, they heal about as fast as any normal creature, and they can't use any kind of magic. At least, as far as your definition of magic. Everything you've learned about humans seems pointless compared to this.
The thought also occurs to you why Jason thought you ponies didn't have movies.... You have movies.... you have lots of movies.
GAH! BY CELESTIA THERE ARE MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO WORRY ABOUT RIGHT NOW!!!
Jason.... the human who was on the run, afraid of an insane purple unicorn who was trying to have her way with him only a few days ago... can now do..... things you can't even begin to understand.
Lyra : BELIEVE IN THE JASON THAT BELIEVES IN YOU ! no way are they taking your friend from you especially after he came so close to something like... THAT! Deck that doctor in the face! or contemplate it... or politely refuse
[Lesbian Lyra Loony Lunar gonad powers activate!]
Jason literally just showed you yesterday's horrific events with some sort of unheard of human magic, the advanced healing really shouldn't be that far fetched.
You decide to check Jason out of the hospital where he can be surrounded by allies and he can detail what his next move is, heck the princesses should probably be contacted, plus if that clown thing is still out there, who's to say that it won't come for him in the night? Strength in Numbers.
Also you wonder why Jason said that you didn't have movies in Equestria, there are movie theaters after all (Babs Seed Song at 0:47)
"Um..." you say when you somehow find the ability to speak again. "If it's all right. I'd like for him to come home. If he's really okay, then he doesn't really need to stay here does he?" You say to the doctor, but really, honest to Celestia, you're worried. After what you just saw, if any of it is true, then you don't feel comfortable at all leaving Jason here. At the very least, he'll be close to you, Bon Bon, and everypony else in case something... were to....
No. You've got to believe in Jason. Believe in the Jason that believes in you....... or something like that..... Why did you even think that.... that's the weirdest phasing of anything you've ever thought of... ever. Oh well, either way, still. You've got to believe in him.
The Doctor pony just looks at you for a moment before putting on a reassuring smile.
"All right," he says. "If that's what the two of you want."
"We should probably ask him though," Bon Bon intervenes. "See what he wants."
"Yes, of course," the doctor replies as the three of you walk back into the room. The scenery inside hasn't changed much since then, except for the fact that there is now an empty tray of food in front of him. The thought occurs to you to ask him how in Equestria he healed so fast, but you think you already know the answer to that.
If what you saw is true... that ancient Roanan like speech he and his great-grandfather can do.... it must put unicorn magic to shame.
Perspective Shift:
Jason Morgan
Jason : 1 : decide eggs quality
: 2 : contemplate the eggs thoroughly
: 3 : wonder if you might have lost i.q. from the beating
: 4 : decide you want to be more of a man [propriam penis dilatásti][basically enlarge your junk]
: 5 : feel bad for your stunned friends da amicorum beatitudinem [give friends happiness(as a way to say sorry)]
You know... all things considering. Those eggs weren't that bad. Sure you've had better, but not bad for a pony whose never made anything like that before. The toast was also good too.
The thought does occur to you that you might have lost some of your IQ thanks to the mother of all beatings you've received, but you disregard that thought immediately. Cause that's just stupid.
Two more thoughts also enter your head, but before you can give them any more thought, another nurse walks in as the nurse who gave you your tray of food takes it away.
"Um... visiting hours are over," she says, though none of the others seem to hear her.
"Right..." Rainbow Dash says first of all of them. "Visiting hours.... over.... tomorrow... right."
"Right." Rarity says as she follows close behind her, shortly followed by Spike and Fluttershy, neither of whom say anything. Applejack leaves shortly after they do. Before Pinkie leaves however, she stops and turns back around before she can reach the door.
"Umm.... Jason," she says. You don't know why you didn't notice before, but Pinkie Pie hasn't said anything this whole time, and the look on her face now.... You guess even she can be like that sometimes when she's worried. "I... I made you some cupcakes. I'll bring them over tomorrow if you want them." She seems..... she's hesitating. She never does this. "And if you'd like.... when you get out of here... I'd like to throw you another party." With that, she puts on the best smile she can, though you can obviously see that behind it... she might as well be running around in panic.
Still, you do what you can. You smile back at her the best you can to and tell her what she wants to hear.
"Yeah, sure. I'd like that," is all you say to her.
"Thanks," she says before she leaves. With her gone, you notice Lyra, Bon Bon, and the doctor from before all standing in the doorway. You didn't even notice that they weren't in the room earlier. After Pinkie leaves, Lyra walks into the room.
"Um, Ms...." the nurse says to her. "Visiting hours are-"
"Can I.... just have a moment with him.... please?" Lyra asks, the look on her face says it all. The nurse just watches her for a moment, then looks back to the doctor, who gives her a nod. That seems to be all she needs to hear.
"All right," she says as she walks past Lyra and out of the room. The doctor and Bon Bon follow her down the hallway, the latter of the two looks back at you through the door as she leaves.
"Hey," Lyra says to you as she walks up to your bedside again.
"Hey," you say back.
"So..." Lyra begins, she seems to have trouble finding the words she wants to say. You were gonna say something, but you figure it's probably better to let her speak first right now. "The doctor told me if you wanted to, you could come home right now, but they wanna keep you here an extra day, just in case, you know." Yeah, you suppose you can understand that. "So..... I guess what I am asking is... do you wanna come home? What do you wanna do?"
That was a good question... what do you wanna do?
What do you do?
Authors note:
Reasons I am giving you the same ending question as the last chapter.
1.) Cause except for two, maybe three of you (you know who you are), none of you gave me a clear answer the first time. So yeah. Does he go home or not?
2.) I had a really, REALLY long day at work and I'm kind of tired.
3.) I'm having a bit of trouble deciding some things right now. By the time the next update hits. I should have it all sorted out. So yeah.
What do you do?
Side Story
The Previous Night
-The Everfree Forest-
Zecora's hut
-On the surface-
*phaser sound*
GF: WHAT THE FUCK, MAN!
Kirk: Relax. It's on stun.
Spock: This may prove a problem in the future, captain. She will be less likely to trust us now.
McCoy: For once, I agree with the Rock here. This is going to bite us in the ass, Jim
Kirk: Look, we will cross that bridge when we come to it. Now, what are we going to-
*static*cott of the Starsh... ...prise... ...nyone read me?
The group went silent, and Kirk moved off to the side
*Gordon Freebrony moves his hand and grabs a nearby rock as he sees Kirk aim his phaser at Zecora. The moment Kirk fires, Gordon Freebrony throws the rock and hit's Kirk's hand, which knocks the phaser blast away from Zecora and hitting the ground near her. Gordon Freebrony then leaps over the fire and tackles Kirk to the ground, knocking the phaser out of his hand. Both Spock and McCoy stand and draw their phasers, but they don't fire. Not yet. Zecora can't really believe what she's just seen, but stays where she is still in a defensive stance.*
*Cue Gordon Freebrony vs James Tiberius Kirk*
Authors note (again):
This is not directed at the participants. For those of you who do read the side story. Feel free to comment on this section as if it were a PONY KOMBAT chapter. Just be sure to comment on the main story first, since that is how it's supposed to be done. Gordon Freebrony, since these characters are yours, feel free to approve which ones you do and don't like.
The Present
-Ponyville-
Sweet Apple Acres
*Ponyville*
LS: I know Ponyville is strange, and seem to attract incidents every Tuesday, but something is just a bit... off.
BB: Ah hear ya. As happy all the folks around here are, someth'in scared them bad.
LS: You actually listened to the Teach about predicting bad things?
BB: Nope. It's just easy to tell from those mares whisperin' to each other. The "Dramatic Flower Trio" if I read my letters right. Should we go and ask what's wrong?
LS: I'm curious about this. Let's.
*Braeburn and Little Strongheart are sitting on the couch at Sweet Apple Acres while they wait for Granny Smith to retrieve her famous apple pie. They both have an obvious sense of uneasiness.*
Little Strongheart: I know Ponyville is strange, and seem to attract incidents every Tuesday, but something is just a bit... off.
Braeburn: Ah hear ya. As normal as this seems to be for 'em. Something 'aint right.
LS: *snickers a little* You actually listened to the Teach about predicting bad things?
BB: Nope. I just got this feelin... ya know...
LS: Well, what should we do now?
BB: We should probably wait till mah cousin gets home. We'll find out more about it from her and then we'll decide what to do from there.
Time Unspecified
-The Dalek Flagship, The Caesar-
The Control Room
Hacker 7: How is your wrist computer working?
HAI: We downloaded into it and then shut it off from the network. The virus propagated by the slenderpony wasn't able to enter. What is the nature of the virus? Is it that nothing is powered, or that nothing is responding to your commands. If it can hear, I can get in and shut it down.
Me: Well, if we can turn on the engines, one way or another, the air supply system can work again... I don't care how crazy it is, I'm going there...
Aldebaran: Master! If Slenderpony IS down there, then your death is imminent! It feeds off of FEAR, and is practically IMMORTAL!
Me: ... Slenders live off the fear of the race they shape themselves to be like... I'm not afraid.. *turn into Multiform sand and shoot into the air ducts, towards the backup power* And I'm no pony...
*At the ship*
Nana: I can scan the area for whatever's messing with the ship. I can't do a full diagnosis like I can when I'm integrated into the ship. It has to be nearby for me to pick up, so I'm going to have to tag along.
Hacker: You can do that? But how?
Nana: Us ponies may not have radars like you, but we have detection spells for various things and magic sensory enchantments for my user. I was made to gather and analyze information, even at the most dire of situations, for my partners.
Hacker: So... Magic?
Nana: Yes, magic.
BRP: well if he's going, I'm going too. I'm no pony either and if that thing wants a fight, I'm going to give it one. Hey, RA, SD, save a piece for me! *runs out of the door*
Hacker 3: They're crazy!
Hacker 1: Well, they just left. So, how do we fix this ship?
Hacker 2: We could try rerouting power through the auxiliary buffers and into the life support systems to start off with. Remember, RA is going to be fighting. If he gets his hands on a flamethrower, we could run out of oxygen in seconds!
Hacker 1: Agreed. We should get the O2 scrubbers working as soon as possible.
Hacker 3: Guys, we're working for MAD PEOPLE!
Hackers 1&2: You get used to it.
*All of the hackers, Swimming Dalek, BRP, and even Registered Anonymous on the floor can't believe their ears when they hear the voices of Nana and BRP's hacking AI speak. Both voices are coming from BRP's wrist computer.*
BRP: Hugh! Nana! You're okay!
Nana: Yes. Your AI managed too... wait. You're name's Hugh?
HAI: Yeah, didn't I tell you?
Nana: No.
HAI: Oh.... well.... My name's Hugh Jackman. Named after a rather famous actor from my world.
Nana: Oh... well, it's nice to meet you.... *sounds a bit dreamy as she says this* Hugh Jackman....
Bronze Statue: *coughs* Um. Not to interrupt what may or may not be a really weird moment. But how the hell did you guys survive? I thought Slenderpony knocked out everything!
Registered Anomyous: *still on the floor* Hey guys. You know what I just realized is going on.
Nana: *Ignores RA* We downloaded into BRP's wrist computer just before all the systems shut down. Since it's not connected to the network of the ship in any way unless it allows it. We moved ourselves in and then shut it off so that the anomaly that shut down the systems couldn't affect us. I must say, this is a very nice space you have here Hugh. So roomy. So much date. So much storage space. It's not like my-
HJ: Yeah, sorry, but this is only a temporary solution I'm afraid.
Nana: What?
BRP: What do you mean?
RA: Hey guys?
Swimming Dalek: Shut up RA!
HJ: Nana's programming is nothing like mine. It took me a few moments to figure out how to decipher her into our language but I managed to do it. However....
BRP: However.
HJ: To spare you an incredibly long explanation. Because of the way she's made. Eventually, we'll have to put her back into her original computer since that one was made for her, or her programming will slowly begin to fade until she goes haywire and eventually... disappear completely.
Nana: WHAT!?
BRP: WHAT!?
BS: WHAT!?
All the hackers: WHAT!?
BRP: So.... how long do we have?
HJ: Based on my calculations... about 26 and a half hours.
*everyone relaxes.*
BRP: So we have time.
HJ: Yes.
Nana: Oh thank Celestia.
HJ: Don't go thanking her yet. There's still the matter of the ship.
RA: Hey guys... Wanna know what I just figured out?
SD: Right. So what can you tell me. Do you have any way to help us in your current states?
Nana: Well.... I can scan the area for whatever's messing with the ship. I can't do a full diagnosis like I can when I'm integrated into the ship. It has to be nearby for me to pick up, so I'm going to have to tag along.
Hacker 1: You can do that? But how?
Nana: Us ponies may not have radars like you, but we have detection spells for various things and magic sensory enchantments for my user. I was made to gather and analyze information, even at the most dire of situations, for my partners.
H1: So... Magic?
Nana: Yes, magic.
BRP: So. I guess that means we know who-
RA: Hey guys!
SD: WHAT!!!??? FOR ALL THAT IS HOLY WHAT IS IT RA!!! WHAT DID YOU JUST REALIZE!!!! WHAT IS GOING ON!!!???
RA: Team deathmatch.
BS: Team deathmatch?
BRP: Team deathmatch?
RA: Team deathmatch.
BRP: Team deathmatch?
H1: Team deathmatch?
H7: Team deathmatch?
BS: Team deathmatch.
BRP: Team deathmatch.
H6: Team deathmatch.
RA: team deathmatch.
BS: Team deathmatch.
BRP: Team deathmatch.
*this continues for a while*
SD: STOP IT!!!
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
RA: Tea-
SD: Hey!
....
...
...
RA: Sorry.
SD: I'm confused. What is he saying?
H7: Well, basically we're fighting a Lovecraftian outer god along with the human Jason Morgan whose down on the planet. The pony Risen Flagg, as far as we know, has allies in the form of his own council as well as whatever armed forces they control. Meanwhile, we fight up here doing what we can to help assist Jason and those down on the planet to help take down Risen Flagg. Therefore and thusly. We are all stuck. In a giant. Team deathmatch.
...
...
...
...
...
*The room is silent for at least a full minute before Bronze Statue punches Hacker 7 in the face.*
BS: That's for using up the oxygen you f***ing idiot.
BRP: Right. As I was saying. I guess I'm gonna have to be the one to go activate the auxiliary generators since.
SD: No.
*Everyone looks at him.*
SD: No. You take the hackers and head to the Enterprise. They're right about one thing. They're more than likely better situated air wise than we are right now. If they are offline just like we are then they should be working on getting themselves back online too. If they are online, contact them. They should be able to help you get on board the ship. Since you can detect is Slenderpony is close by, you have to protect them. Aldebaran might be right, he's probably waiting by the generators, but if it isn't. If by some cosmic coincidence he figured out that we knew that and adjusted his strategy. Well, someone has to protect them. They're not fighters like us. If he were to attack them.....
BRP: Yeah... I get it.
SD: So. Get your asses moving.
RA: What about me!!!
SD: You too. Bronze, BRP.
BS: Yes sir.
BRP: Yes.
SD: Contact me once you get to the Enterprise. I'll probably need your help once I've reached the engine room. BRP, right now you've got Nana and Hugh so they should help with initiating a reboot sequence. Bronze, I might need your help with the ship itself if things are worse than they seem. For right now though, just get to the Enterprise.
BS: .... I get it.
BRP: All right.
RA: WHAT ABOUT ME!!!???
SD: They'll be time for you to kick ass RA. I know they'll be. But right now.... They need you. Unless you can somehow survive in an oxygen free environment... or in space....
RA: ....
BRP: All right.... Well what about you?
*SD smiles wickedly*
SD: I'm going hunting.
*Suddenly, Swimming Dalek transforms into a cloud of dust and floats up into the ventilation shafts.*
*Everyone is silent for a few moments....*
BRP: Well. You heard the man..... multiform.... thing. Let's go.
BS: Try not to run. We don't want to burn anymore oxygen than we need to. Steve. Help me carry RA.
RA: Wait, whose Steve?
Hacker 1: That would be me.
RA: Your name is Steve?
Steve: Yeah, we all have names. You knew that right?
RA: ..... *silent*
BS: Just help me carry him.
Steve: Right.
*They all exit the room, followed by Aldebaran, Regulus, and a few other Daleks*
-The Enterprise-
The Engine Room
-On the Enterprise-
Scotty: Huff... The air's getin thinner. We best hurry up.
Chekov: Aye, Sir. We've almost done it.
*a few minutes pass*
Scotty: There. That should do it. Now to see if anyone can pick it up. *turns on radio* Hello? Hello? This is Acting Captain Scott of the Starship Enterprise. Can anyone read me?
(>> Broniesrponies2>> Grey Rebl I'm assuming Nana and the Hacking AI can pick up the signal too, but it will take them time too)
*static*
Kirk: ..otty? That y... e.. situation... wha.... lost contact.... suit... what... on?
Scotty: Captain! You're a bit spotty there, I'm going to try to boost the signal. There, is that better?
Kirk: Yes. A wonderful job as always. Now what happened to communications?
Scotty: Not just communications, sir. The whole ship died. It's as if something just latched on and stole every ounce of power, both potential and live. We've got powerpacks hitched to Life Support, but we cannea last much longer.
Kirk: I rust you can get the power back?
Scotty: Tha's just it, captain, the generators won't restart. Even the shielded core is dead, and the fuel won't reignite. I donna know what's wrong.
Kirk: That is troubling. In any case, get the power back. I want you to check in every hour when possible. I've got my own situation down here.
Scotty: Aye, Captain.
...
Scotty: Huff... The air's getin thinner. We best hurry up.
Chekov: Aye, Sir. We've almost done it.
*They manage to hook up a backup generator to the life support*
S: There. That should do it. For now. Now to see if anyone can pick it up. *turns on Chekov's radio* Hello? Hello? This is Acting Captain Scott of the Starship Enterprise. Can anyone read me?
*There is static*
Random Ensign: Sir, the distance between us and the planet may be to great. We may not be able to reach the captain.
S: God dammit! Is anybody hearing this!?
-The Dalek Flagship, The Caesar-
The Corridors
*BRP, RA, BS, Steve, and the hackers are making their way through the ship towards the Enterprise with a few Dalek's behind them. Suddenly, BRP's wrist computer comes in with a voice they don't recognize.
BRP's wrist computer: Hello? Hello? This is Acting Captain Scott of the Starship Enterprise. Can anyone read me? *static* God dammit! Is anybody hearing this!?
Go home with Lyra and Bon Bon.
1. If you do get attacked again, a house has more easy escape options than a hospital room.
2. If you don't get attacked, better beds and better food at Lyra and Bon Bon's house.
3. If you're alone in a house, you're more likely to get a random Dues ex Machina visitor.
4. If you start talking to Ghost Pinkie in the hospital, you're never getting out.
Who else here watched the rest of the Code MENT episode?
And as for the story:
Me: *I fall onto the floor of the auxiliary room and reform into snake form* Hmph… I can smell you, Slender… HEY! There's where I put my Usain Bolt DNA! *grab small vial of blood on a table, and put it into my squeedlyspooch, and NO that does not mean anus… more like a small mouth-thing on my stomach area* There we go… *turn into Usain Bolt* Now… let's play tag… you're it! *Dash away extremely fast*
Slender: … *begins warping after me*
My head: Wow, I'm really glad I got Usain Bolt at his prime! Any other time and I'd be dead now!
Me on the outside: COME AT ME, BRO! *looks over shoulder, he's right behind me* IS THAT THE BEST YOU CAN DO? *dashes even faster*
Meanwhile, in the corridors
Dalek Drones to the others: Halt! We were given orders to escort you!
Jason, go home. Then eat. Once again, using epic magic powers burns hella calories when Stephen King's creations are involved. (I point you to Insomnia.)
SIDE STORY TIME!!!
*whilst carrying RA, to Steve* So, when we're at the Enterprise, wanna hit the holodecks for a bit?
Steve: You can't be serious. We're in the middle of fighting an eldritch horror, we're running out of oxygen, we're carrying a FUCKING PSYCHOPATH-
RA: Eyyyyyy!
Steve: -and you suggest ENTERTAINMENT???
Me: Yeah, pretty much.
*Steve just stares*
Me: It's better than panicking and screaming like morons.
1 : go home
2 : ask lyra if she thinks the trauma means that you could acquire medicinal grade marijuana
3 : delve into your mind and begin tripping on life and the horror you witnessed in the fight as you walk
or
4 : sing don't worry be happy now
What's the point in staying in the hospital when you're feeling fine?
Go home with Lyra and Bon Bon, the clown might expect you to be at the hospital since it wounded you.
In fact, catch up with the rest of the girls before they leave. I mean you just showed them a friggin demon clown and how it almost devoured you, try to stick together and get word to the Princess for guards or something. Hell, you should get Rainbow Dash scouring the skies looking for the hind, Your Great Grandfather is still out there.
Also, give the girls more forewarning about the clown, tell them to stick together and not wander off alone and to avoid Balloons at all cost (Cue Sad Pinkie )
But for the love of God, do not just shrug this off, be on your guard and start making a plan right now, who knows what else is in Equestria with your Grandfather on patrol
3432614
Just an FYI, there were no holodecks during Kirk's captaincy...
Well, you'd best look at the pros and cons. Pros: The hospital food is not that bad, Pinkie is bringing cupcakes tomorrow, everyone is feeling sorry for you, and you are being pampered. Cons: No weed. No clothes. No freedom of movement. No meat.
...
,,,
,,,
You have to leave. And then go hunting. YOu NEED MEAT! AND BACON! SIZZLING ANIMAL FLESH. YOU WANT IT! YOU NEED IT!
-on the planet-
...
Right, nevermind. Pony Kombat thingy. I"ll have to check back in on that.If no one comments, I'll probably write something anyway.
-On the Enterprise-
Scotty: I repeat! This is Acting Captain Scott of the USS Enterprise. If you can hear me, please respond.
Chekov: Sir, is there a way to boost the signal?
Scotty: Perhaps. You said it uses radio waves as a means of communication, right? Similar to how we use the multi-phasic photon waves for intersystem communication?
Chekov: Yes, Sir.
Scotty: If I can crosswire the communication array into the deflector dish I might be able amplify the intensity and send the waves farther. But that would require more power than we have...
...
AHA! Chekov, stay here and watch the radio. I'm going to 'reset' the Enterprise, as it were. A good enough electrical charge right to the auxilary generators should be enough to get her started.
Chekov: Aye, Sir!
For the fight between Freebrony and Kirk, have the gorn music playing
Have them evenly matched, while looking stilted as they fight, making the others stare in awe.
Eventually they should all be tired of wailing on each other, so just have Spock Nerve Pinch Both of them to sleep
Hmmmm lets see one one hand delicious hospital food, wonderful nursing staff, and a comfy bed. On the other Lyra and Bon Bon, marijuana, and possibly cookies to eat after getting high... Go home with Lyra Jason, weed trumps all.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
3432614
R.A.: *Is still slightly perturbed that his hackers have names*
*suddenly Scott's voice starts coming from BRP's communicator*
R.A.: *grabs BRP's communicator watch and says* Hello this is the Fuck You Fat Guy Crew how can we be of assistance?
Steve: ... Why? Just why? *bows his head in shame*
*Main story*
You should go home with Lyra. While, under normal circumstances, I'd recommend staying at the hospital, these certainly aren't normal circumstances. You don't know if that pony Pennywise will return, and attack you- or even worse, your friends. Heck, it might even have allies- like that Slenderman... pony... You never know. After what happened yesterday, anything is possible... It's best for you to leave the hospital, since you don't seem to have any more serious injuries. I doubt the hospital would be able to secure your safety from anything like that. You should be with your friends- both to protect them, and be protected BY them. Also, you should try to comfort your friends as soon as possible. You just showed them all some pretty brutal stuff- they're probably in shock from the horrible stuff they saw. Once the shock wears off, they'll all probably be freaking out. Best calm them down if that happens.
*Side story- "Pony" Kombat*
I won't recommend what happens in the fight itself, but I will recommend an ending- Gordan convinces Kirk that it's not okay to attack an innocent pony, just because she- for very good reason- questioned their intentions.
Look at it this way- you studied their culture, history, and magic. You learned a lot about them. And now she hears that you've been lying to her this whole time, and are from a different planet altogether. And you just tried to contact what could be an army. This could very easily be confused as a friggin' alien invasion. Anyone would be apprehensive if they heard something like that. If you attack her now- even if you just stun her- you could easily ruin any chance you had at getting these ponies to trust you. When she got up from the stun, she would warn others. In the ponies' eyes, you'd have attacked the only witness to your plans of invading. NOT a good idea. And, c'mon, Kirk- all she's got is a stick. I doubt she can do much with that. You're a good guy. Even if you ignore all the ways that attacking her could bite you in the ass later on... it would just be wrong to attack an innocent just 'cause you're mad.
3432250 Forgot to add to the main story there.
Main Story: You must go home! With that clown thingy on the run, and from how much damage it can deal, action MUST be taken. Besides, you don't want innocent little foals going missing, especially when you have the POWER to prevent that.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
3433154>>3432846>>3432614
Nana: I am so, so sorry about RA, Captain. We hear you. We are currently on our way to your vessel. Anyway for us to cross the gap from here? We are currently scarce on oxygen at the moment. *to present company* And all of you shush! Let the AI speak.
____________________________________________
* Meanwhile, at the AIA HQ.*
GR: *kicks door* Can anypony fix this? I think it's broken!
Secretary: Sir, please refrain from kicking the doors. Do you have any idea how strong your bucks are?
_____________________________________________
LS: C'mon, Brauburn, let's investigate.
BB: Aren't we gonna wait for AJ?
LS: We aren't gonna LEAVE per se, we are just gonna take a look at the orchard.
BB: Oh I get it, somethin' spooked the foals, and has to be pretty close for them to look for AJ first.
LS: So, let's go.
BB: We'll be right back Granny!
GS: Alright!
Yes. Go home with Lyra.
Also, meat? You're in a land of sapient ponies, conform to their values damnit!
Besides, from the looks of things most animals here are at least semi-sapient as well.
Tell Lyra that you feel safer in her hooves, and decide to go home. Also learn that ponies not only have movies, but also video game, and get confused by Equestria's inconsistent technology.
*side story*
Dr. McCoy notices an Espurr just standing there,staring at him with it's unblinking traumatized looking face.
Decide to go home, say something random in latin and see what happens.
Go home and eat something.
TenebrisSol: Um, Pinkie. Are you alright?
Pinkie Pie: ~looks at TS~ No, not really.
TS:*Sigh* What's wrong?
PP: Everything is wrong. Haven't you been reading the story?
TS: I have, but what is it that is so wrong. wait, Is this because of Jason and that *shudder* clown?
PP: Yeah.
TS: Don't worry about it. Jason is strong, He'll survive.
PP: I guess, but I'm still worried.
TS: ~Scratches chin and thinks~ I might have something that could help him, but I'm not sure if Razor let's it through.
PP: ~Looks suspicious~
TS: Don't worry it's nothing dangerous. Let's see... Ah, here it is. ~Takes out small Pinkie plush~
PP: ~Looks at the plush~ And that should help him how?
TS: You'll see... Of course if that KIND and GENEROUS Razor let's you take it to Jason. Also give him this paper and tell him to read it.
PP: ~Takes the plush and note~ Ok. ~opens the note~
TS: Just take it and give it to him with the cupcakes.
PP: ~Rolls eyes~ Fine, but I can't promise anything.
TS: Yeah sure. Bye.
PP: Bye.
Gordon Freebrony vs James Tiberius Kirk.......EPIC PONY BATTLE YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
3433154Me: So, favorite type of cookie?
Steve: Chocolate chip. How about you?
Me: ... Yes.
Steve: Pardon?
Me: You asked what my favorite type of cookie is. I answered.
PONY KOMBAT!!!
Zecora: Go RAFIKI on their collective flanks!!!
3432850
I thoroughly approve.
3433362
No... Just.. No...
3433270
hmm.. interesting... Bits of it I don't like, but the overall idea is sound. I just don't think Kirk would see it as wrong... more 'damage control'
3433320
Chekov, over the radio: This is Ensign Chekov of the USS Enterprise. Lieutenant Commander Scott is unavailable. Please Identify yourself. Where are you hiding your nuclear wessels?
...
Wait, sorry, wrong line. I meant Where are you?
3435548 You realize the Espurr thing is a joke right? I don't expect him to use it.
3435714
...
Have you read any of this story before? Or, for that matter, any of Razor's other stories?
3435917 Yes, I'm one of Razor's closest friends on this site. We're working on a crossover together. So yeah, I have read his stories.
Seriously I wasn't being serious with the comment no need to be a dick about it. Have a sense of humor.
3435554
*Shrugs* Fair enough.
3435570
Nana: Uhh... This is Artificial Intelligence NANA with present company the dalek crew, hackers, RA, BRP, and Artificial Intelligence John Hugh. We are currently in a haste towards your location. We'll be exiting through the bays, I repeat, we'll be exiting through bays. I suggest that you get your oxygen up and running for some of us. We are losing air and have too little tine to compensate. 3434688, Steve! Stop wasting your air on topics about cookies!
3436132>>3434688>>3433154>>3432846>>3432250
Not John Hugh, Hugh Jackman. Otherwise known as Wolverine.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jason, you almost died. Be sensible for once in your life. Go home, get some fucking sleep, then wake up, get high, walk the dinosaur, narrowly avoid some sort of catastrophe (including cats) and above all DON'T EAT ANY PONY SHAPED OBJECTS! This is incredibly important for some ethereal reason.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I would really like to give the crew of one of the ships exploding spider robots to work with because of a conversation over steam with a friend that ended with jihadist suicide camel spiders. All in favor, write in some suicide camel spiders at some point.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kirk x GF...
GF performs a SUPER MISTLETAIN KICK, CROWBAR STYLE!
Kirk: *as he is blocking the crowbars down-sweep*: That's not a kick!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
BRP: Oh shit guys, just forgot about this.
Steve (hacker 1): What?
BRP *closes lower part of helmet visor. Is no longer using oxygen from the rest of the ship*
Steve: YOU MEAN YOU COULD HAVE DONE THAT THE WHOLE TIME!?
BRP *his voice is being projected by speakers*: I guess. As I said, I forgot. I guess I panicked a little at the thought of asphyxiation.
Steve: So you forgot the only way to guarantee that you yourself could save yourself from asphyxiation?
BRP: Yup, funny how that works.
Meanwhile on the Roof of Roseluck's House, that she shares with Daisy and Lily...
Roseluck: Wait, you want me to WHAT?!
DXIV (sitting in a lawn chair on the roof): Look, he wants some exploding camel spiders so why not give it to them?
Roseluck: Exploding Spiders... ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR CELESTIA DAMNED MIND?!
DXIV: Is that a rhetorical question?
Roseluck: EXPLODING SPIDERS! EXPLODING SPIDERS! You mean to tell me that because some commenter on the story wants exploding spiders, you are willing to give them something that they WANT!
DXIV: Yes.
Roseluck: Are you trying to help the villain and buck the entire heroic side story campaign in the plot or not?
DXIV: Roseluck, put two and two together and you will get muffins. Exploding camel spiders inside of a tiny metal box floating casually in space plus panicked starfleet officers, Daleks, and God knows what else equals muffins.
Roseluck: Muffins?
DXIV: One great big muffin of warp core meltdown and thermonuclear explosion in the upper atmosphere.
Roseluck: Isn't there some other option to royally buck the side characters over without having me carry large crates full of squirming and exploding camel spiders onto the ships?
DXIV: Come to think of it, I do remember the exact coordinates of the USG Ishimura and the exact holding bay of the Marker...
Roseluck: Just get me the damn crates.
3435944
................
Use your own advice.
My comment was meant to be a 'do you know this guy?' kinda thing using sarcasm to say that I wouldn't put it past him to put in that scene anyway.
3436537
You idiot! You've doomed us all! Exploding mechanical spiders indeed. Now all we would need is replicators...
FUCK! That was sarcasm! Infact, can you just blot this whole comment out with black? Or something. Just imagine it's not here.
3437597 Well if he puts it in it won't effect the story in the slightest, which was kinda the point of the comment.
Stay at the hospital! You're not fully healed yet, you can barely stand up! Plus, what are you gonna do if you have a billion bandages on you, anyway? You'd probably just lay on the Lyra and Bon Bon's couch the whole time, may as well do that with doctors standing by in case something happens! And what if the healing magic wore off? Then you're half-dead, and healing slowly!
Also, keep them uncensored... It's annoying to have them both ways when I'm trying to find all the errors.
Go home and rest. You're recovering fine and it'll be nice to relax at Lyra and Bon Bon's again.
As for the swearing, don't bother with censoring it.