Hello ladies, gentlemen, and those of unspecified gender, it's RazortheAwesome here again. You know, I was reading through some of your comments and the questions that some of you have asked me for the Ask Any Character Anything blog (which if you haven't checked out you should cause it closes on Wednesday), and I noticed something. Apparently, not many of you actually know how to pronounce Risen Flagg's true name, Nyarlathotep.
This is fine. Nyarlathotep is part of H.P. Lovecraft's Cthulhu mythos after all, where many of the great old ones and outer gods have really weird names like that. Actually, if I'm remembering correctly, I think their actual names are supposed to be incomprehensible to humans. I know that's the case with Cthulhu. So yeah, in retrospect, it does make sense that many of you would not know how to pronounce his name.
Since he is going to be appearing a lot though, I thought I'd take a quick moment to show you how his name is pronounced, just to clear up the confusion.
Are we clear on that? Good. Okay, his name is pronounced like this.
Nai-Are-Laa-Tho-Tep
Say it with me now.
Nai-Are-Laa-Tho-Tep
NaiAreLaaThoTep
Nyarlathotep
I hope that clears up any of the confusion that some of you may have had on how to pronounce his name. Now back to the story.
Warning:
This chapter contains excessive use of the word 'f*ck'. Sensitive viewers should read this chapter anyway cause hey, at least I am bothering to censor it.
Nyarlathotep, she actually said those words. Twilight knew about him. How did she know? Now you can understand how desperate she was, she was grasping at straws to stop an incomprehensible evil. You think you can actually totally forgive her now since you are willing to do just about anything to make this monster go away.
If you are going to be facing him, you really need to safeguard your mind. The Outer God's can read your mind, and they can make you insane just by looking at them. Use Latin to set up firewalls in your mind protecting your sanity, and blocking your thoughts from others. Also, give yourself the calmness of mind of a Shaolin Monk, you can't panic right now.
If you see Pinkie Pie, simply touch her head and transfer all that transpired at the tree house directly into her, just like how the Doctor does. It may give you a headache though. Tell her she has to be ready by tomorrow.
Also, allow yourself to see the darkness of individuals. If you don't see Risen Flagg, look for his cohorts, the pale pony and the blue one. Maybe they have something to hide. Try reading their thoughts if you can.
Hmmm lets see,,, Alright Jason here is what you do for now take a walk around town and muse over the fact that you may be going up against an outer god from H.P. Lovecraft. Try not to worry too much stress really doesn't help the body at all.
traverse the everfree forest, find some voracious monster, cast a silence spell, then a kill spell, cast a spell to cook mat, you haven't had it in forever
or : head home boop lyra and go to your happyplace, screw the day
Try to think of a way of how Twilight would know that name, it could help in some way.
shit
Welp, Jason. You've just discovered something rather interesting- you are now, officially, one of the most boned people in the history of both human AND ponykind. You might not want to admit it, but you have to look at facts, Jason, or you could die, and take your friends with you.
It's very possible that an Outer God- something that could f*ck up a thousand warriors, easy- is hunting you down. I can't even imagine the stuff going on in your mind right now. So, you know what you should do? That's right: GET HI- No, no, don't do that. Somehow, I get the feeling that purposefully dulling your senses in the midst of the most dangerous thing... ever... might not be a good idea.
Still, though, you need to calm your titties down, boy. Sure, Outer Gods are scary as hell- probably scarier, actually- but that doesn't mean you can't win. Plenty of people have beaten someone far stronger than them, either through careful planning, indomitable courage, or just dumb-s*it luck. So just calm down, and think of how you could win this. I suggest taking a walk while thinking things over. Maybe get something to drink. Like beer, or bourbon, or cid- NO. ...Just... do calm things. Think calm thoughts. Smile. Be happy and sh*t, I dunno. If that doesn't work, you could try training your abilities more. Getting better at combat might make you feel a bit better about a possible fight in the future. Alternatively, you could just cast a Latin spell of calmness upon yourself. That's surely the easiest and most certain route to it.
Just be sure to not get TOO calm. There's a difference between 'calm' and 'unconcerned.' Some people, in an effort to escape their troubled thoughts, will block out the things causing it. Don't do that. I'm sure I don't need to tell you this, but ignoring them doesn't make evil clown ponies from hell go away. Be calm, but diligent. Do what all smart people do when they foresee trouble: think it through.
You've read Lovecraft, and you've fought Haypennywise- you know some of what to expect. Haypennywise had very varied attacks, so maybe you should train yourself to react to various high-speed situations. Can't some Outer Gods mess with your mind? Maybe you should put up some kind of mind protection spell. Stuff like that. Prepare for anything you can think of. You'll need all the preparation you can. Remember that mental preparation is important preparation, too. Think of all the possible situations. "What if ______ happens to ______?" "If _______ ________'s ____, I should ______." Stuff like that. Anything could happen, and you need to be ready for it all.
Lastly, since you've pretty much told your friends all they need to know, and you can't do much other than what I recommended above, I recommend checking on your other friends. It's unlikely anything happened in the short time you were gone, but still. Check on them, and check on the barrier to the house, too. Tell them what's going on, too, if you think it's right.
Other than that, just stay sharp. Something could happen at a moment's notice, and you can't be caught by surprise. I realize this is a lot for someone who'd never been in any kind of real combat before, but you'll have to make do. Believe it or not, because of your powers, you could be Equestria's best hope of survival. Assuming this thing wants to dominate Equestria, which it probably does. You're a goddamn superhero, for crap's sake. F*ck the Green Lantern, the Dovahkiin, Superman, and all the other superheroes. Your powers far outclass theirs, because, with just a few words, you could HAVE their powers, and more! This Outer God might be a "supreme being," and is certainly stronger than you, but I'll be damned if you're helpless with all that power! You might be inexperienced, but your powers are overpowered as HELL. If you just get some good training under your belt, you could EASILY wipe the floor with damn near ANY superhero in ANY comic! How's THAT for confidence?!
Jason... hang a left, find an alleyway, lean against the wall, and:
Well, if all else fails, start singing Freddy the Red-Brained Mi Go.
You were right. Shit is about to go down.
So, in a nutshell, your up against an Evil Outer god, who, to your dismay, every pony loves, and your only lead for answers is Discord, who is supposed to know your Grandpa. In a helicopter. You're not sure if your Latin enchantment on Rainbow Dash is going to work on a type of invisibility that's probably made to be undetected by said outer god threat. You know that's how your Grandpa kept himself hidden all this time. Y'know, now it isn't all that hard to believe that that Pennywise the Clown pony parody actually exists.
The thought didn't sit well with you, but your inner Doctor Who, due to his experience with crazy inter-dimensional dilemna, eases panic somewhat, if barely keeping you from reaching unhealthy levels.
Of course, let's get started with the "doing stuff" shindig. Your inner Batman urges you to go into "Detective Mode". You now know your enemy, his reputation, and an idea how his operations are viewed by the public. You're going to need specifics. Ask around. Maybe use your powers on figuring out how the mares viewed Risen Flagg. Seriously, by the way the mare's eyes gleam thinking about him, you'd think he'd set a controlled heat spell on himself. Yes, it's impolite to look into a ladies mind, but this is an emergency.
Ask where he lives, what did he do; stuff to refine your bearings on his appearances and presence. His arrival in town is getting Ponyville stirred up. Ponies would likely be in the mood to talk about him. Try and get an idea on who the two ponies he was with are. Who knows? You could get another lead.
No.... no no...... no no no no no...........
...
...
...
...
...
...
No......
......
Maybe a little bit.......
.... No.
OH HELL THE F*CK NO!!!
No, Rarity did not just say that name. It's impossible, there is no way she could have possibly known that name so she couldn't have said it out loud.
'Well, lets just say that every scrap of writing those two ever put to paper, every tiny detail was accurate and well... Lets just say, not entirely entirely works of the imagination,' you hear the voice of Silas echo through your head. No.... no no no. No way in all hell was he telling the truth. No.... just no.
'They spent years turning over every corner of the globe huntin down every horror they could find and sendin' them to the howlin' abyss where they belonged.' No.... no no.... No. No, Silas was out of his goddamned mind, not a word he said could have been true.
Your inner Doctor tries to calm you down, since he sees stuff like this all the time, but it's not working, not even close to working. You didn't even realize this as Silas' words rang through your head again, and again, but you had unknowingly walked around the side of the tree house.... library.... tree library... WHATEVER!!!
'I said that your great-grandfather went on many missions himself. You really thought that they'd be limited to just this world?' Suddenly after walking a little more than halfway around, your vision becomes white for a moment, and you start to hear your own heartbeat, and.... you're not.... breathing......
Suddenly you become light headed and unconsciously fall to your knees. You barely managed to regain your senses enough to hold yourself up with your hands before falling over and leaning against the tree.
'Cult of followers, deep ones, mortal servants, we killed plenty of these sure, but the Great Old Ones, they're immortal lad. They're from a plane of existence we can't even begin to imagine lad. The mere concept of mortality is a joke to them.' You open your mouth to try to speak, but nothing comes out.
"It......... It can't......" you somehow manage to force out of your mouth. "It can-" Before you can even finish that though, you suddenly get hit in the head by... something, which knocks you right into the tree.
"OW JESUS F*CK!" you scream as you clutch your head in your hands.
"PULL YOURSELF TO-F*CKING-GETHER YOU F*CKING IDIOT!!!!!!" a very loud, very high pitch, very bubblegummy like voice suddenly screams at you. Wait, you know that voice. With your head still in your hands, you turn around to see..... Ghost Pinkie Pie.... and she looks..... well, for lack of a better word, PISSED!!!!
The look she's giving you could rip apart an adamantium skeleton like it's tissue paper, if you had an adamantium skeleton that is. Although, it occurs to you that maybe with your newfound powers you could give yourself an adamantium skeleton but-
"DON'T CHANGE THE F*CKING SUBJECT!!!!" Ghost Pinkie Pie suddenly screams at you.
"Ah, o-" you say but then you cut yourself off.... wait, did she just read your thoughts? How did
"WHERE THE F*CK HAVE YOU F*CKING BEEN!?" Ghost Pinkie Pie suddenly screams at you again. "I'M A CELESTIA DAMN FIGMENT OF YOUR CELESTIA DAMN IMAGINATION! OF COURSE I CAN READ YOUR THOUGHTS! I AM YOUR THOUGHTS!!!"
That really doesn't make you feel any-
"QUIT TRYING TO DODGE THE SUBJECT AND LOOK AT ME!"
"Wait, wha-"
"LOOK AT ME!!!" Ghost Pinkie Pie screams at you before you can even finish the next word. Thinking it's best not to question or anger the insane figment of your imagination, you shut your mouth and clear your head just to be safe, and turn all your attention to the floating pink pony ghost in front of you. You also take your hands off your head. Suddenly it stopped hurting now.
Ghost Pinkie Pie kept staring at you right in the eyes with that 'IMA TEAR YOU APART' look, but didn't say anything for several moments.... and several moments longer later.... still nothing... and still nothing... and still
"STOP THINKING!!!!" She shouts, and at that you clear your head. "Ahem," she coughs, presumably to... okay, just to make sure she's not gonna snap at you again, you're not gonna finish that thought. "Good, you're learning." She says to you. "Anyway, as I was saying. PULL YOURSELF TO-F*CKING-GETHER JASON!" She screams at you loud enough so that if she were real the whole town would have heard it. "SO WHAT IF THAT BIG OUTER F*CKING ABOMINATION EXCUSE FOR A GOD NYAR........ NEYAR..... HOWEVER YOU SAY HIS NAME-"
I just explained that at the beginning of this chapter.
"SHUT UP RAZOR I'M TALKING!!!"
Okay fine jeez.
"Anyway, HOWEVER YOU SAY HIS NAME IS HERE!? SO WHAT IF YOUR GREAT GRANDPAPPY USED TO FIGHT HIM AND MONSTERS LIKE HIM BEFORE!? SO WHAT IF HE IS SOME KIND OF GOD!? SO F*CKING WHAT!?" Wow, seeing ghost Pinkie Pie like this, you only hope that the real Pinkie Pie is nothing li- "SHUT UP! BUT YES, SO F*CKING WHAT!? IS THAT YOUR EXCUSE FOR RUNNING OUT OF THE LIBRARY AND ALMOST COLLAPSING FROM A PANIC ATTACK RIGHT OUTSIDE IT!?" Wait, you weren't having a- "YES YOU WERE SHUT UP!" Then, suddenly, at that, Ghost Pinkie Pie stops for a moment and takes in a breath, and then exhales loudly. "Look, I get it. You got beat up, you almost got killed, by a monster you thought wasn't real no less, and now you just learned that other monsters might be real and it's freaking you out, but you know what else." Ghost Pinkie Pie says as she moves in so close to you that you could feel her breath on you if she was real. "YOU HAVE F*CKING SUPERPOWERS RIGHT NOW!?" You want to- WAIT, you're stopping right here. "YOU HAVE THE POWER TO DO ANYTHING YOU F*CKING WANT RIGHT NOW, EVEN CELESTIA WOULD BE JEALOUS OF YOUR POWERS! SERIOUSLY! F*CK SUPERMAN, F*CK THE DOVAHKIIN, F*CK GREEN LANTERN, F*CK DARKSEID, AND LOKI, AND THANOS, AND F*CK SPAWN! WHAT YOU HAVE FAR OUTCLASSES ANY OF WHAT THEY CAN DO! AND YES, I KNOW WHO ALL THOSE ARE! FIGMENT OF YOUR IMAGINATION REMEMBER!" Sh- No... not this time. "SURE NYARLATH MAY BE AN OUTER GOD OR WHATEVER THE F*CK THAT IS AND SURE HE MIGHT BE F*CKING STRONG, BUT F*CK YOU IF YOU ARE USELESS WITH ALL THAT POWER! WITH A BIT OF TRAINING YOU COULD WIPE THE FLOOR WITH ANY CHARACTER OR PERSON YOU COULD NAME, SO WHAT DOES THIS NYEAAAHTHALOTEP THINK HE HAS!?" At that, she stops again and keeps her eyes locked on you. You don't say a damned word. You failed to notice this during her rant, but you also sat down against the tree while all this was going on. Suddenly, Ghost Pinkie Pie lets out another sigh.
"Jason, do you know what real men do when they get kicked in the teeth? And yes, I did just say men, not stallions, because I know you are a man, not a pony, but f*ck that. What do real men do when they get kicked in the teeth?" You still don't say a damn thing, which makes Ghost Pinkie Pie sigh rather loudly and rather annoylingly this time. "Well I can certainly tell you what they DON'T DO, and that is they don't FALL DOWN AND CRY NEXT TO A TREE LIKE A LITTLE BITCH AND TRY TO DENY EVERYTHING!!! YOU KNOW WHAT REAL MEN DO WHEN THEY GET KICKED IN THE TEETH!? THEY GET THE F*CK BACK UP, AND KICK THE F*CKERS WHO KICKED THEM BACK IN THE TEETH! THEY DON'T GO INTO DENIAL LIKE LITTLE BITCHES! IS THIS HOW YOU WANT EVERYPONY TO SEE YOU JASON!? DO YOU WANT TO BE A PANSY!? F*CK, YOU ARE THE HERO OF THIS STORY JASON, YOU ARE THE ONE WHO HAS TO SAVE EVERYPONY, AND DON'T EVEN BOTHER WITH THAT 'OH WHY ME!? WHY DO I HAVE TO SAVE EVERYONE' BULLSH*T, YOU F*CKING KNOW WHY SO DON'T EVEN BOTHER ASKING!!!! QUIT TRYING TO DENY WHAT YOU SAW WITH YOUR OWN TWO EYES, HEARD WITH YOUR OWN TWO EARS, AND PIECED TOGETHER WHAT YOU PIECED TOGETHER WITH YOUR LOGICAL BATMAN LIKE MIND! YOU KNOW IT'S ALL REAL, SO QUIT BEING A BITCH ABOUT IT! ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS ARE IN DANGER RIGHT NOW, SO QUIT BEING A BITCH, CAUSE IF YOU DO, THEY WILL ALL DIE JASON! THEY ALL WITH DIE! ALL OF THEM, YES EVEN YOU, I KNOW YOU ARE READING THIS SIDE STORY CHARACTERS A-"
Okay Pinkie, seriously, shut the f*ck up about them or I will-
"Oh............ Hehehe... Sorry Razor Bazer. That was my bad." *smiles*
EGH!!!! Whatever, just continue. It's all right, he won't remember anything you said about them.
"Okie doki loki. Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah. AHEM!..... EVERYONE AND EVERYPONY IS GOING TO DIE JASON! THEY ARE ALL GOING TO DIE! YEAH, YOU GOT BEAT UP BY A DEMONIC CLOWN, BUT NOW YOU HAVE THE POWER TO GO BACK AND KICK HIS PAINTED FLANK SO BADLY THAT HE'LL BE BEGGING FOR ANOTHER ONE! SO I AM GOING TO ASK YOU ONE MORE F*CKING TIME JASON! WHAT DOES A REAL MAN DO!?"
"Uhh....." is all you say.
"WHAT DOES A REAL MAN F*CKING DO!?"
"They.... They get back up and kick the people who kicked them back in the teeth." you reply to her.
"Good," Ghost Pinkie Pie says to you. "Now, are you a real man?" You don't even need to think about that.
"F*ck yeah I'm a real man," you say back to her.
"Really," Ghost Pinkie Pie says. "Cause from what I'm seeing right now you don't look like a real man. You're not doing what a real man would do. So, are you really a real man, Jason?"
"SHUT THE F*CK UP PINKIE PIE!" you say as you stand back up on your own two feet. "I don't need you to tell me I'm not a real man, cause I AM A REAL MAN!"
"Really, so what are you gonna f*cking do then?" Ghost Pinkie Pie asks, smirking.
"I'M GONNA KICK THAT F*CKING CLOWN AND NYARLATHOTEP RIGHT IN THE F*CKING TEETH THAT'S WHAT I'M GONNA DO!?"
"WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO!?" Pinkie Pie asks again.
"I'M GONNA KICK THEM IN THE F*CKING TEETH!?"
"WHAT ARE YOU GONNA F*CKING DO!?" Ghost Pinkie Pie screams again.
"I'M GONNA KICK THEM ALL IN THE F*CKING TEETH! THEY ARE ALL GOING DOWN!? IS THAT WHAT YOU WANNA HEAR!? IS THAT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU!?"
"Maybe it is," she says again, smirking. "Is it good enough for you."
"F*CK THE HELL YES IT'S GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME!" You scream at her.
"YEAH!" she screams at you.
"YEAH!" You scream back at her.
"YEAH!"
"YEAH!"
"YEAH!"
"YEAH!"
"YEAH!"
"YEAH!"
"YEAH!"
"YEAH!"
"F*CK THE HELL YES!" You both scream as you smash your heads into each other, which doesn't really do anything cause well, she's a ghost figment of your imagination. Suddenly, at that, Pinkie Pie's anger suddenly drops to nothingness and you see her sniffle a little bit. Then, just as suddenly, she moves over and starts nuzzling you in the cheek with her cheek.
"I'm so proud of you Jason," Ghost Pinkie Pie says to you as she nuzzles you. It takes a few moments for you to calm down too, but as you do, you suddenly feel all the fear an anxiety you were feeling before evaporate away as well.
"Thanks," you say to your imaginary ghost friend.
"Well, my work here is done," Pinkie Pie's ghost says as she floats away from your face. "Ooh, and before I forget, don't forget to come to the party tonight, Jason."
"Don't worry, I'm not gonna forget that," you say to her.
"It's your party after all, and everypony's invited. I know the real me is looking forward to seeing you there," she says with the same smile on her face you've always known her for.
"Yeah, I know. I'll be there," is all you can say to her,
"Well, all righty then. Bye byeeeeeeeeeeeee," Ghost Pinkie Pie says as she slowly disappears. "Slow dissssooollllllllveeeeeeeeee......" and now she is gone.
That.... actually did make you feel a bit better to a degree. You're still not quite ready to believe that Nyarlathotep might be real yet, but you do know that whatever you're up against, you're ready for it. Hell, if you wanted you could BE Superman, Green Lantern, or pretty much any superhero you can think of right now if you want to. You have the power to do that.
Your inner Doctor and Batman are back to working now that your mind is calm. Your inner Doctor is working to calm your nerves a bit more with this new situation, with him being him and all, and your inner Batman is busy putting what pieces together that he can, which sadly other than what you just talked about with the mane 4 and Spike inside, really isn't much. Still, it's working, and you now know who your potential enemy is and who he is to the people of this world.
Still, that's enough rambling about that for now. You're back up off of the tree, so you walk the rest of the way around it...... and are INCREDIBLY relieved to see that nobody here noticed your incessant yelling at Ghost Pinkie Pie. So you're safe there.
"Oh thank god," you say to yourself as you walk away from the treehouse. You wonder why no one else has let though. Maybe they're still discussing things. Oh well, your role here is done.
-About an hour and a half or so later-
Alternatively, go back to Lyra and Bon Bon's house, open the door, get on the floor, and walk the dinosaur. Because that joke hasn't been beaten enough yet.
I concur with thr alternative from Tatsurou. Go home to Lyra and Bon Bon, get stoned like fuck and dance the friggin dinosaur.
Or just summon a karaoke console and sing with them both till your throats die.
You decided to take a quick walk around the two to clear your head just a bit more after that whole.... episode... you guess you could call it, and it really did help. Really, it did. You even, using both your inner Doctor and Batman to make this a little bit easier, talked to a few more of the ponies in town to see what they knew about Risen Flagg. Unfortunately, and really not surprising at all, they didn't know any more than you already did right now. Most of the ponies you talked to just said that he was some sort of senator from Canterlot and didn't know much else, and the few who actually did know anything pretty much told you what Rarity did, so really, you didn't learn anything new about him.
You did however, learn something about that blue unicorn that was with him. Her name was Trixie, and the pony who told you this mentioned how she barely recognized her. Apparently she some kind of traveling magician who was very arrogant and had an ego larger than the sun. She stopped into Ponyville a long time ago, but ran out humiliated after Twilight Sparkle proved that she was a fraud to the whole town. She also came back later and tried to take over the whole town or something like that, but that was quickly resolved, again, but Twilight Sparkle. She ran out again after that and nopony has seen her since. Now she's working with Risen Flagg.... somehow.
Nobody knew anything about the other pony though. He was a complete stranger to them.
But yes, you did all that, and now you just got home. You walked up to Lyra and Bon Bon's house after being gone for what seems like a really friggin long time. Thankfully the barriers you set up around the house are still in place. They don't seem to be tampered with.
But yeah, you walk up and open the door.
"Hello, I'm back!" you shout once you get inside. You don't receive an answer. Neither Lyra nor Bon Bon seem to be home right now. It's roughly 4:45 so that does seem about right though.
Still, you walk inside.
You open the door.
You get on the floor.
And you WALK THE DINOSAUR!
"Open the door get on the floor,
Everybody walk the dinosaur."
You sing aloud as you do that. GOD if feels good to do this again after so f*cking long.
"Open the door get on the floor,
Everybody walk the dinosaur."
You suddenly hear another voice say, and then look to your right to see Lyra doing the dinosaur right next to you.
"Oh, hi Jason," she says while still doing it.
"Uh, hi," you say to her, slightly embarrassed.... ah f*ck it. You keep doing it, and Lyra does too.
-One Dinosaur Later-
"So where's Bon Bon?" you ask Lyra as you plop yourself on the couch. She quickly follows.
"The store she works at doesn't close till five, so she's probably just doing some last minute cleanups or something. She'll probably be home in a few minutes."
"Okay," you say. "What about you?"
"Oh, I got done early today," Lyra replied. "So I decided to come home." You're just about to ask exactly what it is she does, cause to be honest, you still don't exactly know, but you stop yourself when you realize something.
Just what in the holy hell are you gonna tell Lyra and Bon Bon?
'F*CK!!!' you scream in your head as you realize that. You were so preoccupied with your own powers and gathering information from the others that you completely forgot about Lyra and Bon Bon. What are you gonna tell them? How are they gonna react to everything that's been happening? F*ck why didn't you think of this sooner?
"Hey Lyra, I'm home!" Bon Bon shouts as she walks through the door.
"Oh, hey Bonnie," Lyra calls back as she looks over you.
"Hey Lyra," Bon Bon says as she walks towards the kitchen. "Oh, and hey Jason, what'd you do today?" she asks.
Great, now she's here too. What are you gonna tell them?
What do you do?
Hey, you know what, I just realized. I think this is the first chapter I've ever done since I started this without any YouTube links in it.
AH F*CKING SH*T!!!!
-Ponyville-
-Somewhere in Town-
To Braeburn and Strongheart
*The two operatives combed through Ponyville looking for The Doctor. Although, his whereabouts had led through place after place like a tour. And they were running through the entire process*BB: *Huffs and puffs for air* Strongheart! Wait up!
LS: Slow poke. *She waited for BB to come and watched him catch his breath*
BB: Geez. We have been all over town! Everypony we ask says he's only a few minutes away. It's as if he has all the time in the world!
LS: And to think we though this is a normal delivery... Well, the Director did send one of his best.
BB: You know Grey Rebl and his secret missions. They are always fishy.
LS: Okay, he bought some things from the grocery market, went to a pawn shop to redeem a fez, and bought a sofa from the Sofa and Quills. *The last store perplexed her, but continued to list the places they have been. However, she soon became apprehensive on the latest few* The Mechanical store, The Screws and Wrenches, Tabletops and stools, and a store entirely based on horseshoes? Fricken only sell horseshoes?! How do they work a decent economy or trade in this community? I'm surprised the ponies here actually buy some of this stuff.
BB: Ponyville sure is an odd town. Maybe quiet and peaceful– when it's not about invadin' ursas and parasprites infestations. Makes me wonder about Appaloosa. We work hard ta get the town workin' while this here settlement runs all on its own. Ah guess it's just its connection with weather ponies and the unicorns. And the drug use and probably did somethin'. Ah don't know.
LS: Hey, didn't Granny Smith live in the days when Ponyville first started?
BB: Eyep. The Apple Family are always tryin' to find land to settle in back in those days. Still am today, if you see how recent Appaloosa is. *He smiled proudly* In fact, Appaloosa is the only town whose name is dedicated to the apples there. Think about it! Ya ever heard of another town with "Apple" on the name? Ah don't thinks so! We even use APPLES as effective weapons for landsakes!
LS: Braeburn! We are talking about Ponyville.
BB: *Sheepish grin* Oh, sorry. Granny Smith: She's as odd as the town. Hay, the way she makes her Zap Apple jams is unique. Do you have any idea how old she is? The one the last grannies in the family! Ah'm sure AJ is going to live a life kinda like hers. Maybe better! *He suddenly thought for a second* Come to think of it, everywhere AJ and her friends go, something happens. I wonder if being the Elements of Harmony is a curse itself.
LS: Hmm. I wonder why there isn't an operation here in Ponyville.
BB: Like the AIA? Yeah, Ah guess that makes me wonder as well. Then again, Ah'm sure no agency is gonna handle all the paper work that comes out of every bizarre incident that happens here.
LS: *smiles a little then stops* Still, you'd think they would. This town is the home of all six Elements of Harmonies after all. Anyways, next stop: Sugarcube Corner.
BB: Oh! Ah know about that place! In the letter Applejack said that her friend Pinkie Pie works here. I heard she bakes some decent pastries.
LS: Last time we met, she danced on a stage. It would be interesting to chat with her.
BB: Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go!
*Braeburn and Little Strongheart stop by a bench after literally running through the whole town. Why they were running was beyond both of them but hey, exercise. They stop by a bench and Braeburn is huffing and puffing for air and breathing hard. Apparently he's out of breath.*
Braeburn: *Huffs and puffs for air* Strongheart! Wait up! *Sits on bench*
Little Strongheart: Slow poke. *She turns around and walks back to the bench, having run a bit past it before Braeburn fell on it*
BB: Geez. We have been all over town! Everypony we ask says he's only a few minutes away. It's as if he has all the time in the world!
LS: And to think we though this is a normal delivery... Well, the Director did send one of his best.
BB: You know Grey Rebl and his secret missions. They are always fishy.
LS: Okay, since we're just sitting here lets review what we know. He bought some things from the grocery market, went to a pawn shop to redeem a fez, and bought a sofa from the Sofa and Quills. He also at some point went to the Mechanical store, The Screws and Wrenches, Tabletops and stools, and a store entirely based on horseshoes? Seriously, they fricken only sell horseshoes?! How do they work a decent economy or trade in this community? I'm surprised the ponies here actually buy some of this stuff.
BB: Ponyville sure is an odd town. Maybe quiet and peaceful when it's not about invadin' ursas and parasprites infestations. Makes me wonder about Appaloosa. We work hard ta get the town workin' while this here settlement runs all on its own. Ah guess it's just its connection with weather ponies and the unicorns. And the drug use and probably did somethin'. Ah don't know.
LS: Hey, didn't Granny Smith live in the days when Ponyville first started?
BB: Eeyep. The Apple Family are always tryin' to find land to settle in back in those days. Still are today, if you see how recent Appaloosa is. *He smiled proudly* In fact, Appaloosa is the only town whose name is dedicated to the apples there. Think about it! Ya ever heard of another town with "Apple" on the name? Ah don't thinks so! We even use APPLES as effective weapons for landsakes!
LS: Braeburn! We are talking about Ponyville.
BB: *Sheepish grin* Oh, sorry. Granny Smith. She's as odd as the town. Hay, the way she makes her Zap Apple jams is unique. Do you have any idea how old she is? The one the last grannies in the family! Ah'm sure AJ is going to live a life kinda like hers. Maybe better! *He suddenly thought for a second* Come to think of it, everywhere AJ and her friends go, something happens. I wonder if being the Elements of Harmony is a curse itself.
LS: Hmm. I wonder why there isn't an operation here in Ponyville.
BB: Like the AIA? Yeah, Ah guess that makes me wonder as well. Then again, Ah'm sure no agency is gonna handle all the paper work that comes out of every bizarre incident that happens here, especially- *He's about to go on, but then stops there and gets a look of realization on his face.* Now that I think about it, maybe the CIA handles it. Ponyville's close enough to Canterlot that it probably falls under their jurisdiction.
LS: *Thinks about that for a second* Yeah, you're probably right. Anyways, next stop: Sugarcube Corner.
BB: Oh! Ah know about that place! In the letter Applejack said that her friend Pinkie Pie works here. I heard she bakes some decent pastries.
LS: Last time we met, she danced on a stage. It would be interesting to chat with her.
Pinkie Pie: Did somebody call me?
LS: AH!
BB: AH!
*They both nearly fall back, Braeburn actually falls out of the bench from the sudden appearance of Pinkie Pie*
PP: Oops, sorry. *giggles for a bit*
BB: Ah don't worry about it. *pulls himself up* It's not the first time Ah-
*Braeburn is suddenly cut off by Pinkie Pie's jaw dropping to the ground, then suddenly rushing up to hug him. It takes a moment, but eventually, they both recognize her.*
PP: BRAEBURN!!!!
BB: WHA-
LS: WHAT THE?..... Pinkie Pie?
*While still hugging Braeburn, Pinkie looks over and sees Little Strongheart there too.*
PP: LITTLE STRONGHEART TOO!!! *pulls her into the hug* Oh this is so super duper looper jooper hooper exciting! I didn't know you two were coming to Ponyville! When did you get here? When were gonna tell me? How many Apples did you-
BB: Well we're just visitin is all *still being hugged*, an we just got in yesterday in fact, we didn't even have time ta-
PP: Hey wait a minute? *Pinkie Pie breaks the hug and looks at Braeburn.* Weren't you here already Braeburn?
BB: What?
PP: You know? You helped me put on that reenactment of the Rocky Horror Pony Show and you crashed through my wall on a motorcycle wearing a leather bikers outfit and started singing Hot Patootie Bless My Soul.
BB: *suddenly nervous, as well as confused why she would even suggest that.* Uh.... *looks everywhere but her.* Ah don't recall.
*Little Strongheart just looks at him weird. She really has no words for that.*
PP: Really? You don't remember that?
BB: Can't say that Ah do.
PP: Ah, whatever. HEY you know what!?
BB: What?
PP: You two should TOTALLY come to my party tonight!!!!
BB: What?
LS: What?
PP: Yeah, I'm throwing it for my friend who just got out of the hospital for this "I hope this event doesn't traumatize you for life" party, as well as some new ponies, and a senator but EVERYPONY'S GONNA BE THERE! You should totally come! Oh it'll be so much fun. *Suddenly reaches into hammerspace and pulls out two pink envelopes.* Here are you invitations. Sorry I'd love to stay and talk more, cause I like talking more, but I gotta go. Got more of these to hand out. Hope to see you there. Remember. EVERYPONY EVERYPONY is gonna be there. Bye! *zips away like the Flash*
BB: Uh.....
*Braeburn looks over to Little Strongheart. She's giving him a look that he can't quite place.*
-42 seconds earlier on the other side of town-
On the surface
Kirk, on the communicator: Enterprise, Come in!
McCoy: For landsakes, man, give it up already!
Spock: I agree with the Doctor. This is the four hundred and fifty sixth time you have attempted to contact the Enterprise in the last two hours.
Kirk: *sighs* You're right. I hope they're alright up there. *stares dramatically towards the sky*
*a minute or so later*
Gordon: *cough, cough* Uhhh, Sir?
*Kirk continues staring*
Gordon: If you're waiting for a scene change, it ain't gonna happen.
Kirk: Huh?
Gordon: Nevermind.
Zecora: Are we just going to stand here like imbeciles? Or does the sky wish for a battle of wills?
Kirk: What were we doing again? *looks around the ponyville marketplace while the ponies around them give them strange glances*
Gordon: Fuck if I know.
Kirk: *In his communicator* Enterprise, Come in!
McCoy: For landsakes, man, give it up already!
Spock: I agree with the Doctor. This is the four hundred and fifty sixth time you have attempted to contact the Enterprise in the last two hours.
K: *sighs* You're right. I hope they're alright up there. *stares dramatically towards the sky*
*They walk into town a bit more*
Gordon Freebrony: *cough, cough* Uhhh, Sir? *Kirk continues staring* If you're waiting for a scene change, it ain't gonna happen.
K: Huh?
GF: Nevermind.
Zecora: Are we just going to stand here like imbeciles? Or does the sky wish for a battle of wills?
K: What were we doing again? *looks around the ponyville marketplace while the ponies around them give them strange glances*
GF: F*ck if I know.
*Suddenly, as if teleported in faster than their beaming technology, Pinkie Pie appears in front of them.*
GF: AH!
PP: Oh thanks Celestia I found you all again. Hi Zecora.
*Zecora is about to say something, but Pinkie Pie cuts her off*
PP: Sorry I don't have long to talk, I just wanted to give you guys your invitations for your party tonight.
K: What?
*Suddenly, Pinkie Pie reaches into hammerspace and pulls out five pink envelopes for all of them.*
PP: It's your Welcome to Ponyville party of course silly billy. Well technically it's also my friend's getting out of the hospital party, but you don't mind sharing a party do you? Which I'm sorry if you do, cause I know that some people do mind sharing parties and-
GF: It's all right. *Pinkie Pie stops.* We don't mind.
PP: Great, well I hope to see you all there tonight then. It's your party after all. Everypony's gonna be there. Well, I gotta go, I got more of these to hand out. Bye! *zips away like the flash again.*
M: Uh.....
S: Fascinating.
-IN SPACE!!!!!-
-The Enterprise-
-The Bridge-
On the Enterprise
Scotty: Alright! Sulu, please take 'er out of the hangar.
Sulu: Alright. I.... Oh My... Sir! The hangar door will not respond to our opening signal.
Scotty: Right. They probably still need repairs. Do scans show signs of atmosphere yet?
Random Bridge Crew Science Officer: No, sir. Though I am picking up high energy discharges from their auxiliary engine room.
Scotty: That is troubling. Keep scanning the area. In the meantime, Uhura, try to raise one of the Daleks. I want the Enterprise to fly on 'er own power again. Alternate with trying to break that jammar on the surface.
Uhura: Aye, sir.
Chekov, running onto the bridge: SIR! The Hackers and RA and BRP are in the hangar bay. Should I show them to quarters?
Scotty: No. Bring them to the Briefing Room. We need to change tactics in dealing with... well, whomever we're up against.
Chekov: Aye, Sir! *leaves, while a Security officers steps out of the turbolift, anxiety in his eyes*
Random Security Officer: SIR! Reports of a massacre in Cargo Bay Three!
Scotty: Damage Report. Now.
RSO: Thirty dead, all security. Signs of an intruder, including bloody hoofprints leading to an airlock, as well as a number of mysterious crates that are not in the ship's registry.
Scotty: Damn. Alright, I'll update the Redshirt list later. In the meantime, get the investigation started. You're the head of the team. Get me answers.
RSO: Aye, Sir.
*RSO leaves, Scotty collapses into the Captain's chair*
Scotty: What else can go wrong?
Scotty: Alright! Sulu, please take 'er out of the hangar.
Sulu: Alright. I.... Oh My... Sir! The hangar door will not respond to our opening signal.
Scotty: Right. They probably still need repairs. Do scans show signs of atmosphere yet?
Random Bridge Crew Science Officer: No, sir. Though I am picking up high energy discharges from their auxiliary engine room.
Scotty: That is troubling. Keep scanning the area. In the meantime, Uhura, try to raise one of the Daleks. I want the Enterprise to fly on 'er own power again. Alternate with trying to break that jammar on the surface. An' try to get in contact with the AIA, been a while since we've heard from 'em. If we're doin this bad up here, I can't imagine things are much better for 'im down there.
Uhura: Aye, sir.
Chekov, running onto the bridge: SIR! The Hackers and RA and BRP are in the hangar bay. Should I show them to quarters?
Scotty: No. Bring them to the Briefing Room. We need to change tactics in dealing with... well, whomever we're up against.
Chekov: Aye, Sir! *leaves, while a Security officers steps out of the turbolift, anxiety in his eyes*
Random Security Officer: SIR! Reports of a massacre in Cargo Bay Three!
Scotty: Damage Report. Now.
RSO: Thirty dead, all security. Signs of an intruder, including bloody hoofprints leading to an airlock, as well as a number of mysterious crates that are not in the ship's registry.
Scotty: Damn. Alright, I'll update the Redshirt list later. In the meantime, get the investigation started. You're the head of the team. Get me answers.
RSO: Aye, Sir.
*RSO leaves, Scotty collapses into the Captain's chair*
Scotty: What else can go wrong?
-The Hanger Bay-
R.A.: *continues having a seizure on the ground after realizing his hackers have... dun dun DUN! NAMES!* Namesnamesnamesnamesnamesnamesnames NAMES!? *R.A. shouts periodically from time to time*
Calvin: *facepalms before rummaging through the pockets of R.A. before pulling out some cookie dough and puts it in front of R.A.'s face*
*the aroma of cookie dough then enters into R.A.'s nostrils and in a split second R.A. stands right back up, grabs hold of the cookie dough, and begins sniffing it feverishly for a couple of seconds while doing it all in one fluid motion*
R.A.: AH! That's the stuff that'll put hair on your chest!
Calvin: It's only cookie dough R.A.
R.A.: Doesn't matter it still puts hair on my chest! *suddenly an actual bush of chest hair erupts from R.A.'s coat* See!
Calvin: *raises a finger to question how R.A. did that, but chooses not to ask it after realizing that he was talking to R.A.*
*Registered Anonymous falls down onto the floor and starts having some kind of seizure.*
Registered Anonymous: Namesnamesnamesnamesnamesnamesnames NAMES!?
Random Security Officer: Is he.... all right?
Slim: Oh he's fine. Trust me, you do not want to see him when he's not all right.
*Calvin facepalms before rummaging through the pockets of R.A. before pulling out some cookie dough and puts it in front of R.A.'s face. The aroma of cookie dough then enters into R.A.'s nostrils and in a split second R.A. stands right back up, grabs hold of the cookie dough, and begins sniffing it feverishly for a couple of seconds while doing it all in one fluid motion*
RA: AH! That's the stuff that'll put hair on your chest!
Calvin: It's only cookie dough R.A.
RA: Doesn't matter it still puts hair on my chest!
Steve: Yeah, sure it does.
RSO: Right.... Anyway. We-
*Suddenly, from behind them, Chekov comes out from one of the lifts and walks right over to the hackers.*
-The Dalek Flagship, The Caesar-
-The Hallways on the way towards the Auxiliary Generator Room-
*on the way to the auxiliary generator*
BS: So, have you ever heard of Raxacoricofallapatorius?
BRP: Raxawhatnow?
BS: Raxacoricofallapatorius. I don't know what exactly it is, but it's an interesting word to say.
Hallway towards auxiliary generator room
Nana: Raxacoricofallapatorius... Not in my database, but we'll discuss this later. That screaming... It's sounds like it's in pain. I know no other biological being that doesn't have a distorted voice box to scream like that that is still on this ship. Swimming Dalek. Huh? Everyone, stop!*And they did*
Nana: Caution. An unknown entity is detected. *They tensed for a second.* Hmm... It passed us. *The group exhaled in relief* It came from the direction of the screaming, in the generator room!
BRP: Raxacoricofallapatorious: home planet of the raxacoricofallapatorians, no racial designation known. They are a calcium based life form, showed first when the slitheen family of the aforementioned race engaged the doctor in season one of the second installment of doctor who. The doctor at that time was Christopher eccleston. The companion, Rose Tyler. The slitheen are characterized by their hunting culture and warrior racial abilities. Mentioned abilities of a female raxacoricofallapatorian are poisonous gasses to be released from the mouth and a poisonous dart to be manufactured within the finger. Both may be ejected through a skin suit.
Everyone else listening over comms: What?
BRP: I had the complete collection of Doctor Who on my wrist computer.
Bronze Statue: So, have you ever heard of Raxacoricofallapatorius?
BRP: Raxawhatnow?
BS: Raxacoricofallapatorius. I don't know what exactly it is, but it's an interesting word to say.
Nana: Raxacoricofallapatorius... Not in my database, but we'll discuss this later. That screaming... It's sounds like it's in pain. No wait..... it sounds more like it's laughing.... Why? I know no other biological being that doesn't have a distorted voice box to scream like that that is still on this ship other than... Swimming Dalek. Huh? Everyone, stop!
*They all did. Neither of them moves even an inch.*
Nana: Caution. An unknown entity is detected. *They tensed for a second.* Hmm... It passed us. *The group exhaled in relief* It came from the direction of the screaming, in the generator room.
BRP: Where is it now?
Nana: Scanning...... It's gone.
BRP: What?
Nana: If I'm reading this correctly, it appears to have left the ship?
BS: Why would it do that?
BRP: Who cares, lets just get to the generator room and get it back online. We'll worry about that once we can start breathing again.
BS: Okay I gotcha.
BRP: Right, oh and I've heard of Raxacoricofallapatorious. It's home planet of the raxacoricofallapatorians, no racial designation known. They are a calcium based life form, showed first when the slitheen family of the aforementioned race engaged the doctor in season one of the second installment of doctor who. The doctor at that time was Christopher Eccleston. The companion, Rose Tyler. The slitheen are characterized by their hunting culture and warrior racial abilities. Mentioned abilities of a female raxacoricofallapatorian are poisonous gasses to be released from the mouth and a poisonous dart to be manufactured within the finger. Both may be ejected through a skin suit.
BS: FINALLY SOMEONE ELSE WHO ACTUALLY LIKES DOCTOR WHO!!!
BRP: For the f*ck mothering win.
Nana: F*ck mothering?
Hugh: Don't ask. It's just a stupid human phrase.
Nana: Oh... all right then.
Jason, first ask them about what the craziest thing to ever happen in their lives. After hearing them tell about the craziness that's an everyday thing in Ponyville - which explains why nopony blinked an eye at the things that were happening when Twilight first summoned you - tell them something like that is happening, but its a bit more serious and a bit more dangerous. Something that can threaten all worlds is trying to do something, and it's apparently your job to stop it. Basically, give them as much truth as they can handle without scaring the road apples out of them.
Well they have a right to know as well. If a Lovecraftian Horror is is here, you can't leave them in the dark. Ease them into the situation a little at a time, and ask them if they want the gritty details. They will want to know since they trust you and they are your friends. To speed up the process, try a mind meld where you transfer the info you have directly into their heads. If you don't, then just prepare them.
Let them know about the monsters, about how you have to find your grandfather, about your suspicions about the senator, everything you told the other five at the library. Also, see if they want to travel with you to Canterlot tomorrow, sure you'll have the others, but you always feel safer with them. If not, tell them to keep their eye's open.
Also, make sure you and them do not get high, you need your mind and their's focused.
Wilford Brimley needs to be included.
Yeeeeessssss.
Jason, say YOLO SWAG! and then proceed to smoke yourself to insanity. Fuck logic. Fuck Nyla-howeve-you-spell-it, fuck the world. This is the straw that broke the camel's back, and hopefully your high ass can come up with something to tell them.
-Ponyville-
GF: So... uhhh, Party Time?
McC: It would certainly help with the stress levels we've been having.
Z: A perty by Pinkie Pie is one you surely don't want to miss, unless regrets your older self wants to kiss.
S: It would be illogical to ignore the invitation, as it would arouse suspicion upon our group.
K: Alright. We'll go. In the mean time, scout the area. I want us split up, Spock, you're with me. McCoy, Zecora, go with Gordon. Meet me in town square an hour before the party. I want eyes out for anything strange. Especially something that could block communications.
All: Got it.
-Enterprise Briefing room-
S: Alright, we need options. I've already got a message and gear to send down to the away team via a modified torpedo. There's a form of Jammar around the town, blocking all other types of communications as far as we can tell.
I want information and ideas now. Also, if you can think of anything else our away team might need, gather it now and send it down there.
Well?
*turns to hackers and RA*
-Enterprise Cargo Bay-
RSO#1: Sir, These prints seem to suggest our... guest... left through the airlock. Record Logs show it was manually opened twice. Once outside, and once in.
RSO#2: Alright. And I take it security feeds are non-existent?
RSO#1: Yes, sir.
RSO#2: Damn. How about you, Simmons. Any luck with the crate?
RSO#3: Sir, they appear to contain.... Wow. Ummm...
RSO#2: What is it?
RS0#3: They appear to be large, mechanical spiders. sir.
RSO#2: .......... What?
Note to Razor:
Depending upon what the others add in, I will be launching the torpedo towards the everfree (Kirk's last known location) With all of the following gear, plus anything the others decide need to go too.
One (1) HEV suit MK III (partially disassembled for transit)
Four (4) Phaser Rifles and various attachments
One (1) Tablet with video, audio, and textual reports on what has happened during the communications blackout
and
Twelve (12) stun / frag phaser grenades (have multiple settings)
And, of course, if something were to fail on the torpedo, some of the items could be damaged (save for the suit! Please leave that intact), if that is your intention.
Main story, 3709110 this. Use the most intense/insane/sanity-rending Ponyville event as a baseline, and don't go more than, say, 150% that level at the most.
Side Story, away!
BS: Oh, lordy! Some time when we catch a break, we should talk about stuff not related to a life-or-death situation, BRP. As it stands, I'd say that rushing in there without a plan gives us a 31.33 -repeating, of course- percent chance of survival in any state. I'd like some better odds before acting like my cousin Leeroy.
BRP: Your cousin is Leeroy Jenkins?
BS: Look, I know I say a lot of strange things that are meant in a serious manner. That was not one of them. So, options! So far, I'm thinking that either we 1: charge in like a couple of morons; 2: call for backup that may or may not actually show up; 3: sit here until the heat death of the universe or we die of boredom –whichever comes first; or 4: look at security footage of the auxiliary generator room, preferably a live feed.
Nana: And was that a serious comment or a joke?
BS: Serious. Very serious. We need a plan and possibly a weapon – or at least a certain piece of hardware in a highly auditory format, if you know what I mean.
(gosh not-metagaming is hard to do with three simultaneous adventures and running on 3 hours of sleep in the past 48 hours )
Oh my god. It's posted at 1 AM! How are we even still awake? What cosmic force drives us to wait for the updates? No wonder your tired Razor. I can't even think straight, I'm doing my part when I get some sleep.
Crew of the Enterprise:
It would be in your best interest to check the torpedo bay. After all, you may find that the controls are severely damaged, with several major components removed as well as the torpedoes essential parts removed and ejected into the abyss of space.
3709280 okay, okay, now I know I'm exhausted. I read your comment and screamed "GM hax." Out loud. Because I couldn't remember this actually happening or being implied. And if it wasn't implied or didn't happen, then at least give some conflict other than "mysterious juggernaut kills X number Redshirts and destroys torpedoes, none of the side story characters including RA notice it." I filled my December and January "GM Hax" quotas when I was railroaded into Metroid from an originally-medieval setting.
3709320
Roseluck killed the redshirts when she was delivering the spiders to the Enterprise and had to kill them because the side story characters were returning to the Enterprise as they had been drawn away from it. Additionally, I merely suggested that they may find the controls destroyed, not actually destroyed, because,after I am trying to fuck with all of you in this story. And what better way to do that then have random Playable Characters run around and look for problems where none exist so that way I can direct the Plush towards the final winning move. Then again, I did deliver, or rather my lovely assistant, take that as you will, something that a side story character requested so maybe I'm not so evil after all or I could be playing both sides against each like an omnipotent douchebag.
3709363 You truly are a GM, good sir. It doesn't help that I'm exhausted and am... apparently forgetting the ending to my own sentences. Well, a masterful GM knows how to spread just enough doubt to create paranoia, so with that I'm going to go to sleep.
3709394
3709234
3709270
3709363
Bronze Statue, in this, Daedeltheus is the second most powerful being in the universe (a co-writer[sort of]) an as such, can GM all he pleases. Razor gets the final word as he is the all powerful WRITER GOD OF JUSTICE.
Jason, tell them everything, pour your heart out. Cry into their shoulders with the manliest tears that smell of apple spice and raw testosterone (maybe not the testosterone, but other manly smells. It is 2:42 am local time after all.) But please do it in a "pour your heart out" sentence as opposed to, "And then this one time, I pulled all the heads off of my sister's doll collection, and then I watched Chucky. I had nightmares for a (insert long sniff sound here) month. And then...". Readers (I'm sorry, the voices in your head) either know the important stuff, or don't need to hear it, so just leave the details of your conversation out. Fortunately, the Heart of Gold should be showing up with four purple Italian lemmings, who claim to be the last survivors from the planet Earth, the president of the galaxy, from a planet somewhere in the vicinity of beetlejuice who shares three of the same mothers as the aforementioned lemming while being a second cousin and one cyan colored duck who is very depressed and complains about a terrible pain in all the feathers down its left side.
(everything that I write in these is done with absolutely zero checking about facts and theoretical realities in the universes that they are from. Please let me know if I need to make any corrections)
As for the less important plot devices (also known as sidestory characters) who are actually doing more important things to the plot right now ( * _ * ),
BRP: Hugh, get into the systems of the ship and see if you can find out what is going on. Try to avoid contact with the virus. My recommendation is make two copies of yourself and have them distract and fight the virus while you establish a secure data-path through the network to my HUD. Nana, patch the images through to BS's HUD. Hugh, after you have secured the data-path, isolate it and feed yourself through it. Make it impassable to the virus. If you can, overload some circuits that will allow you to leave the path open safely. Nana, Monitor the data feeds directly and ensure that nothing coming through is not in the format of the video, or Hugh himself. If anything like that starts to come through, shut down the link immediately. Hugh, give Nana the standard data-packets for counter-AI offense and defensive protocols. I want any chatter between you relayed to my HUD.
The text in the top part of BRP's HUD for the next few seconds reads as follows:
H: Keep It warm my love, for I will be back.
N: Come back whole and safe, darling.
H:Nothing can keep us apart for long, my dear.
N: Of course. The power of our love shall bring us together again.
H: I will miss you for the time that I am away.
N: And I you. Take care.
H: Oh, a parting gift for you.
Image sent: Roses.jpg
N: They are so beautiful, thank you my darling.
H: I will be sure to bring some while I am out, is there anything else that we need?
N: Please, bring home some eggs. I would like to make souffles on your return.
H: I will, souffle girl.
N: you know I love it when you call me that.
H: I know, but for now, adieu.
...
...
...
...
...
...
HAI designated Hugh Jackmann has been transmitted.
BRP pushes the button for direct voice activation of his wrist computer's main voice recognition software and cpu integration.
BRP: Scan AI storage for new files.
BRP's HUD:
1893 new files found
List?
BRP: List the 5 largest.
BRP's HUD:
House.AIDS
Garden.AIDS
Bed.AIDS
Refrigerator.AIDS
Theoretical conceptualization of love in relation to souffles.txt
BRP: File extension .AIDS designation?
BRP's HUD:
File extension .AIDS designation: Artificial Intelligence Designed Space //Home
Bronze Statue looks towards BRP as they continue running down the corridor when he hears BRP's swearing overspill.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
( - _ - ) Why is it 3:15 am? Why am I awake? I must not be awake. Good night.
Edit: also, I need to find my spiders.
3709566
Razor, the All-powerful Writer-god of Justice
Yes. This is Razor's full name from now on, as far as I'm concerned.
Alright Jason here is what you do: Tell them you learned some new things today, some good... some bad... some strangely neutral, but leave it as vague as possible.
~~~~
Steve: *notices Chekov coming towards the group* Hello sir is there something that you need of us?
*Chekov would then lead us to the briefing room*
3709234
Steve: Um I have one question sir, since you are sending supplies down to the planet using torpedo would you mind if me and the other hackers look over your torpedo system for any possible sabotage? With all the shit going down on both the Dalek ship and your ship I think it would be wise for us to look over just about everything.
R.A.: Oh! I have a question can we also send the away team some of my cookies!? *pulls out a tray of cookies* These not only boost morale, but gives extra energy to those who eat them!
Calvin: That is called a sugar rush R.A.
R.A.: SHUT THE HELL UP CALVIN!
Calvin: ...Please just send the cookies to the away team Scotty... also could we have R.A. occupied with something till we finish looking at your computers? We prefer to not be interrupted by him when we work.
R.A.: If there is something that needs destroying I'm the guy for it!
3709363
R.A.: *begins shooting rocket propelled fruitcakes at Daedaltheus's comment*
R.A. why are shooting fruitcake at Daedaltheus's comment?
R.A.: Because I'm just giving the self named 'omnipotent douchebag' his late holiday gift. *shoots another fruit cake which quickly impacts the the comment creating a small dent in it*
That must be some heavy fruit cake.
R.A.: Well I created them just for that reason. Hell these fruitcakes could be considered a weapon in most third world countries. *shoots another fruitcake this time managing to make it stick into the comment a couple of feet deep* Happy holidays Daedaltheus and I hope you enjoy the fruit cake!
...The fruitcake better not be laced with anything R.A. or so help me god I'm going to kick you into next year.
R.A.: Oh don't worry I didn't lace it with any harmful poisons, radioactive material, and/or any other harmful things... that would just be mean. Besides I'm in the holiday spirit! *walks away from the comment section*
...Daedaltheus I would suggest on burning the fruitcake in a lava pit... or shoot it out into deep space.
3710697
Scotty: I doubt the cookies would survive reentry. The torpedo itself only has experimental shielding that I had to McGuiver together last-minute. I'm pretty sure our technology can handle any of the heat overspill. However, feel free to add some if you so desire. God knows they'll need morale after reading my report. As for looking at my systems, I put that thing together myself. It has self-contained guidance and propulsion, and the warhead itself has been removed. There's absolutely nothing wrong with it. IF you feel the need to doubt my abilities, go ahead. I'll have an officer take a look at it.
As for RA...
*looks over to see RA trying to hack the Enterprise's computer*
GET AWAY FROM THAT YE IDIOT! Now, I seem to have had a problem in Cargo Bay C. Woould you mind looking into it for me? AND NO DESTROYING ANYTHING withou....
Wait, I just got a better idea. You say that you want to destroy stuff?
RA: Yeeesss???
Scotty: Good. I've got absolutely nothing, and I need tyou to destroy it. It's somewhere on the ship, and you CANNOT destroy Anything on this ship besides nothing. Understand? No going through walls, no hacking, no hurting my crew, none of that. Just fnid nothing and destroy it. I've gotta whole lotta nothing, and I need it gone. What say you?
3709566
But what are the chances of that happening? Sheesh. I'd say it's infinitely improbable for something like that to happen. It's like finding the answer to life, the universe, and everything. It just doesn't happen.
3710876
i'd say that its infinitely improbable... and the answer is 42.
I love that's an amount of time now.
Anyways, try to break it to them subtly, don't just flat out say, "I have superpowers now and there's going to be this elder god who will kill us all if I can't stop it", That won't be a good idea.
JASON! Here is my message to you… say a Latin phrase that will make you equal to Nyarlathotep: "Non potest laedere me immortals" That means 'no immortal can harm me'. It'll make things MUCH easier for you. Try to keep it active as long as you can.
This is one of my favorite stories
3710870
R.A.: You want me to destroy nothing? Fine I'll destroy nothing as I go check out the cargo bay, but if anything should attack me in any way shape or form I'll destroy it out of self defense. Also one final thing DON'T UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF MY COOKIES YOU IRISH BASTARD!
*R.A. then runs out the briefing room towards the cargo bay*
Steve: I know he is insane idiot Scotty, but just bear with him for now. *pats Scotty on the back* Now then lets take a look at your torpedo guidance systems and see if anyone tried putting a virus in it. *proceeds to do what he said with his other hackers*
3711080
What? How is that THE answer?
Jason: Once you tell Lyra and Bon-bon about what's going on, find out as much as you possibly can about Risen Flag/Nyarlathotep. Newspaper articles, books, birth certificates, everything. Odds are you'll find some skeletons in his closet. Use your powers to speed-read if you have to. If you can't find something in Ponyville today, try again tomorrow in Canterlot. If you still can't find, say, a birth certificate or something like that, or if there's nothing before a certain date, take note of that. It might be important.
3712672 you were doing so well. Then you failed.
Alright, I'm back, and I'm pretty sure it took way too long. Doesn't matter, I'm here.
Main Story.
So now that you have some time with your two housemates it's time that you three catch up. After all, you have yet to explain yourself to them. You don't need to be afraid. They're your friends and they live in this crazy town longer than you, so what's to worry? Oh, and Lyra might ask of you how you powers work.
Be reminded of the time when the Party starts. It's not something you wanna miss. Well, at least you strongly feel that way. Then again, knowing Pinkie Pie and her parties, that's a definite. What time is it again? You have been out meandering through Ponyville for a while. Clear your head for now though Jason, and maybe get some food.
Side story
+AIA headquarters+
*Grey Rebl trots into the isolated room where the unknown bomb is at back with more energy, but with a need to conduct some serious business*
Secretary: You're here. I heard you went to the computer lab again.
GR: The human ship is active, but Nana is still on the Dalek ship along with the beacon installment, so we're stuck with P-mailing. And that takes hours... So, I had the computer team pick up where I left off and have the data we gathered from the Dalek ship put to use. Hopefully we would be able reverse-engineer it so that we won't have this problem later. Anyways, about the bomb?
S: As you already know, it's unarmed. It's making every pony antsy and we had been pouring a lot of energy in figuring this thing out. We had discovered a few... quirks that might seem intriguing.
GR: Show me.
S: Come. The leader of the diagnostics will give the finer details.
*They walked around towards a variety of equipment and instruments with random lab ponies filing about. Beside a computer with cables plugged to some pillars surrounding the bomb was a midnight-colored unicorn mare wearing extremely geeky glasses.*
S: Head of research.
GR: Ursa. *he nods*
Ursa: 'ello.*pushes up glasses* Y'know, I'm still wondering why I was pulled from working on the Metal Gear Equine just to scan a bomb.
GR: *smile* I'm sure that you will get back on working on that.
U: Heh, I better. That thing is so close to being done.
S: Ursa, the statistics?
U: Yeah, yeah. Look at this. *points at the monitor* Thanks to newly acquired computer tech and magic scanning augmentations, we found out that this isn't your every day bomb used to blow houses. Instead of gunpowder or spell fuses, this uses chemicals that are extremely reactive. The lab tested the chemicals just recently and found out it goes to the atomic level.
GR: Atomic? I heard of this before. Wasn't this sort of thing a project back at the Los Pegasus branch of the MagiTech facility? It canceled when they found out it was too dangerous. Nuclear Fusion they call it.
S: I looked into that already. I sent them a letter yesterday via artificial dragon flame and we are still waiting for a reply.
U: I know a colleague who works there. I hadn't been able to get on contact with him for a while. *looks at bomb* And that huge hunk of metal being here isn't making my day suck less.
GR: Hmm. Strange.
U: And the scary thing is: The nuclear fusion is easy to make. The design isn't very hard to take apart. Add some magic enhancements and we get something that can mutate life in an instant.
GR: With something as big as this, I'll bet it could extend up to miles... However, we still have that case on why it's here. Is this remotely detonated?
U: Nope. Last time I checked it's only detonated by the timer attached.
S: From what I gathered, Los Pegasus is being monitored for suspicious activity by it's own Intelligence Agency and another from their neighboring city. It's confirmed that this bomb was sent from Los Pegasus.
GR: Sounds like that place is our prime suspect. Anything else?
S: I'm not sure if this is relevant, but interestingly, there had been bombings taken place there. Some most specifically hospitals.
*GR examines the bomb, processing all the information. Just what is going on on Las Pegasus?"
S: Going off topic, had you worked on the paper work laid on your desk? They had been piling up for the past few days and we needed certain things to be signed.
GR: Err...
*Flash back, a few hours ago*
GR:Fuuuuuuuuuu- *accidently spills all his coffee on the stacks of paperwork on his desk. He stared at the mess dramatically* Damn you, Riiiissseeen!!
*back to the present*
GR: Yes.
S: Good.
+Ponyville+
*The two partners in security and secrets trotted side by side, thinking about what had just happened as they stared at their invitation*
Braeburn: Was it just me, or is Pinkie a lot wackier than the last time we met. I always thought she is more of the silly type, not bluntly insane!
Strongheart: Probably high on something. Did you see how fast she went? She said there's a party about "trauma" What's that about? Something you ponies do that I don't know?
BB: Believe me, ah have no idea. Say, didn't she say everypony is going to be there?
SH: Yeah. Why?
BB: *grins widely* What are the chances that that Doctor pony is going to show in that party?
SH: *smiles* It would save us time. Do you have your glasses? We are going to need the gadgets if we are going to be looking in a crowd.
BB: Eeyep. *pulls out a pair of sunglasses* Aint no operative that doesn't bring along these beauties.
SH: Good, because we are here.
*They stop and stare at the gingerbread house that holds the party. Ponies came in as they chattered on about Pinkie and Risen. Braeburn drools heavily*
BB: Golly, is that edible?
SH: Of course it isn't. ...Is it?
BB: We only have a few hours left 'till it starts. Reckon we come in and watch the door 'till we see our pony?
SH: Sounds good.
3712901
No, No, No. You failed. Because Deep thought said that you have to know the question to understand the answer. Now, what is the question?
Jason, you gotta be honest with them.
Tell them what's going on, what you're going through, and what you're going to have to do. These guys are your close friends. You'll need the support of those close to you. Even the mightiest warriors need a shoulder to lean on.
Beyond that, they have a right to know what's going on, too. I'm sure they'd appreciate knowing what's going on if and when the s*it hits the fan. So tell 'em. Tell 'em what's happening, and what will probably happen in the future. You don't have to tell them that a being of all-encompassing power is attacking, if you think that would be too much for them, but at least make it very clear that Equestria is in more danger than it ever has been in.
3714023
But we still know that the answer to the question is 42. Whether we know the question or not, we know that the answer is now considered a universal constant. The question was on one of my videography tests though. The answer to a question was 1942, which was not one of the multiple choice answers. The correct test answer was none of the above. We were discussing it one day before the test, and none of us knew the answer, so I said 42 and the teacher said that it was actually right. If I can find the test I will post the question. It was probably the question about when the standardization of public television broadcasting was initialized. An important and momentous occasion in our worlds development.
3714569
You were doing so well.
Then you failed.
The correct question, which the massive supercomputer that was so advanced organic life itself became part of it's matrix was created to determine, is: "What do you get when you multiply six by nine" If you did not know this, you prove that you have not read the six-book trilogy, and thus you have failed.
3715796
That was the product of random character generation. It was simply chance that allowed it to form properly functioning words for so long. That would never come out with the true question. Also, the proper question is now impossible to attain because of 3 things.
1: the earth was destroyed 5 minutes before read-out, leaving only Arthur Dent working on the problem without the other billions of ancillary components required for proper computation.
2: the mice had already been tweaking the system, changing human development so that any question produced would have been corrupted by their tampering.
3: because other alien species had visited Earth, abducting people and messing with things, the program would have been corrupted by their inclusion and interactions as well.
In the multiverse, the true critical moment of read-out was in that classroom when the question was asked, then answered, then discussed. This has revealed that the true meaning of life is the proper broadcasting of television programs to the universe at a minimum standardized level- namely 30 frames per second and 525 lines per frame.
As long as that was the right question. It may have been the invention of recording and permanent storage equipment...
3715992
NUMBER THREE IS FALSE!
It would have been messed with because of the crash-landing of all the unnecessary people from some planet in space. The phone-cleaners and the telemarketers and their ilk. Not from aliens tampering. The aliens became modern humans and killed off the ones that would have evolved via accidental introduction of viruses.
As for that, personally I think that the discovery of the true meaning of life would give us a grasp at the universe's true nature, which in turn would cause the universe to simultaneously implode and be reborn as something even more complicated and insane than it is now. Then again, some have theorized that this has already happened.
Does any one here know who Tasslehoff Burrfoot, everyone's favorite kender, is by chance? It would be hilarious for him to slap around slendermane, not even caring as they have no fear at all. Only explanation needed to be given for this would be Fizban.