Wake up. See this. What do? - Part 2: Raise the Flag (comment driven story)

by RazortheAwesome

PONY KOMBAT: RUN CLUSTERSHINE RUN!!!!! (feat. guest author Grey Rebl)

RUN CLUSTERSHINE RUN!!!

Stormbringer by Turmion Kätilöt

Instinct driving you, you bursted out of Risen Flagg's office back into the hall. You run down the hall for as quickly as your legs can take you before you turn the corner and run into a flight of stairs, with a pair of guards at the bottom.

"Hey!" one of them shouts as they both turn around. "What do you think you're-" He never gets to finish his sentence as you professionally slide down the stairs and swiftly kick both of them in the head before landing. The two guards slump to the ground upon impact, they're not getting back up. Your heart starts beating even faster as the sudden realization of what you did just now dawns on you, but you can't even think about it right now, changeling or no changeling, you can't take any chances.

Quickly looking around, you notice a few closed doors, but also one open office with nopony in it. Quickly, you grab hold of both of the bodies with your forehooves, then as fast as your wings could carry you, you quickly fly into the room and shut the door behind you with a kick. That done, you drop both the guards and bar the door with a nearby table with a vase on it, which miraculously didn't fall when you pushed the table in front of the door. You take a moment to check the door. Satisfied with what you've done, you take a moment to look around the office and notice another door. You walk over and open it to see a long, thin room with filing cabinets lining both sides of it. What, was this some kind of secretary's office. Regardless, you quickly run back over to the two guards and drag them both over to the filing closet before throwing them both and locking the door behind them, thankfully whoever's office this is designed this door so that it locks from the outside.

Finally, with that done, you turn around and fall back against the door, stopping only to take a single, solitary breath as you slide down to your haunches as you backtrack your thoughts to what just transpired.

'How... How could I have snapped?,' you thought, looking down at your hooves. 'How could I have played in his hoof so easily?! That room didn't felt natural— I... I didn't even feel like I was myself! And the AIA... Grey Rebl... No, I can't think about it now, there's more pressing matters at hoof. I need to get out of here.'

With one last breath, you calm your nerves as you feel your heart stop trying to beat its way out of your chest like in that one alien book you read. Celestia that was freaky. Anyway, with your nerves calm and your conscious cleared, for the moment, you get back up and move the table out of the way of the door. You can't stay here after all.

You take a moment and put your ear to the door before you open it again, expecting some kind of ambush during your train of thought, but you don't hear anything. Odd, regardless of what kind of ambush they were preparing, its not like that guard armor that they wear is quiet. Slowly, but cautiously, you open the door back out into the hallway and peak outside. You don't see any guards. With the coast clear you walk back out into the hallway, shut the door to the office behind you and continue onwards. The Canterlot Intelligence Agency has been infiltrated, more than likely they're already looking for you. There is no time to lose.

Alright, the CIA has been infiltrated, as of right now, if they are attacking you, they are your enemy.
Grab a spear or lance and use it to clear your paths. Try to be non lethal, but do whatever it takes to defend yourself.
Don't stop running, you can't be overwhelmed.
The guards are on high alert, so warning the princesses is out, but perhaps you can slip a message to one of the staff, such as their Day Planner or one of the Maids. They have to know that the enemy is within their midst.
Once you get out of the castle, you have to get out of the City. You need air power. Do you know some Pegasi or Bat Pony guards that you trust?
If not, get to an airship or the Train.
You have to get to Appleloosa before the shit hits the fan any more, and also if you can warn the Princess's student Twilight Sparkle on your way, then at least someone with power will know.
Good luck.

You trot down the hallway at a brisk pace, seemingly calm and ordinary as you went through the corridor. In times like these its best to keep cool. Your early years of stubborn failure at stealth during your time in the guard had taught you this. It wasn't your fault that you were a pony of action and preferred just rushing in and kicking all kinds of flank... Okay, maybe it was your fault but that's not important now. Still, while you appear cool on the outside, inside, though, your heart starts hammering again, your adrenaline threatening to release into your bloodstream, and you don't need that, not right now. A few beads of sweat form on your brow, but you ignore it.

After a few quick turns and one more flight of stairs down to the lower level, you leave the office suites of the palace and move down towards the more common area. Several maids and butlers pass by as you make your way, oblivious to the coming storm. You just nod to them and they reply with the same gesture. Nopony ever said you weren't friendly. They all seem normal... For now at least, so you use this moment to think up your escape route.

By now, news of your supposed "treachery" is going to spread, and its not like your assaulting the senator is going to go unnoticed. Evil or not, he is still a senator. The death of the head of the CIA probably won't be as immediate, but given the changeling infiltrators, they may have already been watching you even before he was killed. Still, given all that's happening, security measures are going to take. Right now, however, you have a brief window of time that could benefit for your escape. You wouldn't any time to take a break afterwards.

Changelings are more than likely disguising themselves as members of the CIA or the Royal staff, but without a unicorn around or a pair of magically enchanted glasses, you aren't going to be able to tell who is and who isn't a changeling unless they reveal themselves to you, which you seriously doubt they'll do. Any ally or friend could be one of them, so you can't risk getting any kind of support. No pony can be trusted. Although, even of you could somehow get support right now, its not like anypony wouldn't be exactly trusting of you, given the circumstances.

Corner after corner, hallway after hallway, you can only hope there isn't a changeling around each, seeing only an empty hallway each time.

When you turn one more corner down one more hallway however, you pass by a lone maid, kind of cute, but for a moment you see her eyes faintly glow green as she throws a smile in your direction.

They're playing games. More than likely you've already been spotted. You still keep your cool, all the while stretching your ears for any noise in particular from behind.

Then came the siren, amplified by the sound of horns, resonating across the Canterlotian building. A few beats of different, deep tones, and then repeats. It wasn't tripped by the maid, it couldn't have been. Either the changelings did truly have a hive mind or this was planned ahead of time. Either way, it doesn't matter now. Now they know. Judging by the sound of it, agents from the CIA were going to be involved. You can only watch as ponies hid themselves inside of random rooms in panic, like they're all told to in the event of any situation that may occur inside the castle.

If you're lucky, any guards you might encounter wouldn't call you out before following suit with the other civilians—

"Halt!" you suddenly hear a guard shout before you can finish that train of thought.

'Celestia damn it, already?!' you can't help but mentally scream at yourself.

You stopped, not daring to face the guard for fear of being recognized. You have to handle this smartly, conserving your energy in the process.

"Nopony leaves the area during a search or when the siren sounds," the guard says as he walks over to you. There is silence for a moment as you feel him looking you over. "You seem very suspicious. I'd like to ask you some questions." You were the poker face of the CIA for a good reason. You could try acting, and it would've been awesome if you could be anypony, any character. Although If it weren't for the damn bat wings on your sides, blending in would be a whole lot easier. Bat ponies are still common sight within the Canterlot Castle, even if they are nocturnal. So, if he claims that your 'very suspicious'...

"Sir, why an I suspicious?" you ask respectfully.

"You haven't gone back inside your room yet," he responds, still walking up to you.

"But my room is two floors away. You can't expect me to be back in instantly after the bell rings," you respond calmly.

Closer.

"Well, you are a Batpony in open daylight, and face me when you're talking!" the guard shouted at you, he sounded impatient.

A little more.

"Batponies have been slowly integrating with modern society since the last decade, it's even still in the news. What do you expect us ALL to be a part of the night guard or something?" you say to him.

"I, uh... That doesn't matter!" The guard shouts, sounding a bit more pissed off than he was before. "The point is: you're out of place, you're coming with m-"

Before the guard can even finish that sentence, he finally gets close enough to you. Before he can even touch you your hoof shoots out and jabs him in the eye, staggering him, leaving him open for the round kick, which slams into the side of his head. He's unconscious the moment your hoof hits his helmet. It isn't time to move on and leave yet, though. Now that you've had a chance to cool your head, you can make some use of him, unlike the last two knock-outs you've given.

With that over, you drag the body into a nearby room. You don't like to play whiny. Luckily, the room you drag him into is empty, quite cozy, too. Quickly and carefully, you strip him of his uniform. He obviously won't be needing it anymore. As you do this though, you notice that the guard doesn't revert back to a changeling as you suspected he would. Usually when a changeling gets knocked out, their disguise usually goes immediately. The thought enters your head that maybe this guard isn't a changeling, but you somehow doubt it, the normal guards weren't privy to anything you did and wouldn't suspect you that quickly. Perhaps the changelings have been practicing somehow, getting better at holding their forms even while unconscious. You'll have to investigate this later though.

After a few minutes, you exit the room wearing the guard's armor. You take his spear too just to be safe. The uniform of the solar guard was awfully heavy. Not that it was something you weren't accustomed to, the armor that you wore while in the lunar guard wasn't any less heavy, but still, this is going to slow you down. Thanks Celestia the guard in question was an earth pony, so while your wings may be scrunched up, at least the armor lets to hide them. The only thing you need to worry about now is not letting anypony see your face. If you're lucky, you should be able to walk out of the palace before somepony notices you. Fortunately in disguise, you shouldn't have to fight your way out. Unfortunately, the Royal Guards aren't incompetent, and neither are the changelings. If the commotion coming from the built-in radio inside the helmet is any consideration, this is going be difficult either way.

"Calling all present Royal Guards, including combatant CIA personnel, begin code 7089. This is not a drill. Senator Risen Flagg has been assaulted! The attacker is a Bat Pony, male, and may be still in the building." The radio buzzes with activity as you move down the hallway.

"Hostile within the east side! I repeat, hostile within the east side! Getting into position! Over."

"This is Beige Team. We're starting from top floor, currently going down to search for the suspect. Over."

"Skyward 17 here. Pegasi will watch the windows, crossbows in the ready. Over."

"Earthbound 99 in position, covering all entrances. Over."

"Rover Gates proceeding up from the bottom floor. Over."

"All other teams, we've got the inside control, prepare to surround the palace. Protect the guests and the throne room. Smaller teams, proceed to monitor all hallways. Over."

So its already begun then.

You trot further down the hallway at a brisk pace. There are alternative set of stairs for each hallway or floor. This wouldn't help you avoid them, but you have your own skills to use. Eventually you arrive at the stairs and go down a few floors. Eventually you stop and leave the staircase, you don't go down any further, at least, not yet. In the hallway, you act as if you're searching the culprit, aka YOU, looking through rooms and securing each. Eventually you hear the hoof steps of an incoming team.

"Crap!" you quietly curse at yourself as they approach.

"Soldier, what team are you with, and why are you alone?" one of them asks. You keep your face hidden from them as best you can.

"Team Root Yolk. My fellow comrades and I figured we'd split up when the siren came on. We're going to meet back down when we are done securing the area." you respond to them as you close the door to the room you're "searching" though.

"I see," there was a pause for a moment as they sprinted right up to you before looking away and nodding to their own teammates. "We'll take care of it from here. Stay here, though. I'll radio in a unicorn to scan you and have one of us keep guard just to make sure. Sorry, but we have to be sure."

You nod in understanding. You could never be too careful in your own line of work either. Even if they weren't changeling its not like you could blame them. With that done the other team left you be to continue their search, leaving only you and a single stallion behind. The exact moment they were out of hearing range though, you quickly punch the stallion and knock him out. After hiding him in the room you were searching before and removing his radio-helmet, you proceed back to the staircase to go down one floor further.

As you reach the corner that leads to the staircase you press yourself into a wall and look around to see any if there are any other guards. Thankfully you don't see any. It was strangely quiet too. After a few moments you hear the telltale sounds of guards below you, so you'll have to take your chances and get to the other stairwell. Not wasting any time, you take off and bolt across the hallway. Suddenly, as you're running you hear another set of hoof steps running at you, as if they are trying to make a jump on you.

Without stopping you unfasten breastplate you're wearing, toss it aside and unfurl your wings to give yourself an extra speed boost. Within less than a second the world became a blur, with only your sensitive hearing from your built in echolocation to help you maneuver yourself through the hallways, the hoof steps from behind you turning to heavy wing flaps. Quickly you take a left, then another left, then a right, then a left again, and then you realize the lack of stationary guards around here. You don't need a sixth sense to know that the changelings have finally made their move. After you make one last right you pause to turn around and wait for them to come around the corner.

The literal instant you see the tip of a muzzle, you jump out from the corner and tackle the pony-disguised-changeling to the floor, pin it to the ground with your spear, and slam its head onto the marble floor, putting it to sleep.

A second and third try to spring onto you, but you quickly roll off the pony you just tackled to the side and stand back up to face them. Standing back up, you can see two on your left, and a third on your right, and while they all look like solar guards, you can tell they aren't. They walk up to you menacingly, eyes darkly glowing that familiar, sickly color. As you shift your attention between all three of them however, one particular part of them stands out. They all look like royal guards, and surely they would be able to fool any normal passerby, but they all had something that distinguished them from regular royal guards.

None of them wielded the large, golden spears that were common to the royal guard. Instead, they all had something that was about as long as one of their legs, dark black in color, and had a long, yet small, barrel at the end. At the sight of those things, you felt whatever breath you had suddenly evaporate as any and all hope you had of making out of here slowly left you. You had seen these things before, and you cringed in a mixture of fear, disgust, and amazement of the simple, yet sheer destructive power these things were capable of when the senator first introduced these things to the Equestrian military, and of course, you being second in command of the CIA, were one of the first ponies to see them as well as test fire them. In all of their hooves, were guns, and all of them were pointed at you.

As your eyes drew back on the gun being held by the guard directly in front of you before moving back up to his face, your sense of instinct caught something as you saw his mouth twitch a bit.

Suddenly, right as the guard fired his gun, you pounced on the one on your right, making the guard who shot at you miss and hit the wall behind you, the bullets from his gun practically ripping right through the wall of the palace like it was paper. You leap onto the guard to your right with your left hind leg out and your wings extended, effectively sticking a hoof to it's face before you fly around him and use him as a pony shield. Neither of the two remain guards though seemed to care though, as the other guard who had previously been behind you fired off another shot from his own gun. You quickly duck your own head as the other guard's shot hits the pony you're holding right in the head. You practically freeze as you watch the bullet tear through his skull and helmet and embed itself into the wall behind you.

Before you freeze completely, your instincts kick back in and you push your former meat shield off of you right into the guard in front of you. With him momentarily distracted, you use your wings to propel yourself back away before turning around and running down the hallway. The two guards behind you then take off after you within moments. One of them fires another shot at you, but misses and you keep going. As much as those guns freaked you out when you first saw them, you aren't about to let them stop you now. Even if one of those bullets somehow manages to tear through your flesh. Eventually down the hallway you notice another corner coming up. As you get in closer, you fly up, bounce off a wall to turn around a corner as if you're trying to build up speed, but instead, you stop yourself and wait the moment you round the corner. The moment you're back on your feet you push your back to the wall of the corner and wait. What you were about to do was an old trick, but sometimes it still works.

Right as the two ponies following you are about to turn the corner, you stick your spear out, causing both of them to trip over. Before either of them can hit the ground though, you drop your spear, jump out, grapple one of them by its head, then spin in a circle and swing it into the second, tumbling the two of them into a wall. One of them got up before the other though and swung the but of his gun at you, but you ducked before he could hit you and grabbed it before he could pull it back around. The two of you wrestled with the gun for a moment as the guard tried to head-butt you, but you moved your head back a bit before he could hit you. Behind him though, you notice the other guard begin to get back up. Quickly, before he has a chance to react, you punch him right through his helmet right in the face and take out his knee before you spin the gun around in his hooves and tear it from his grasp.

With the stallion's gun, you quickly leap to your left right as the guard behind him shoots at you. The moment your hooves hit the floor you roll back up, aim the still, to you, unfamiliar device right at the other guard, and shoot him right through the head with it, making him drop to the floor like a sack of potatoes. You then turn your sights towards the other guard, whose you see charging at you. Without thinking, you pull the trigger of the device again and unload all the bullets into you can into him. Every single one rips right through his armor as he crashes right into you and calls on top of you, even more dead than he would be if he were beheaded.

"Seventh and Eighth floor secured. Moving onwards. Over," you hear buzz the radio of the helmet that you are still wearing.

"Got through Ninth and Tenth floors. Where is this guy!?"

"What the hell was that noise!?"

"It doesn't matter just check it out!"

Never mind that the blood of another pony, scratch that, a changeling, is on your hooves right now, as you've just killed a pony in a way that most of your training with weapons has rendered obsolete. If they didn't know where you were before, they probably do now, its not like the noises these things made when they went off were quiet. With a bit of effort, you push the dead changeling off of you and get back up.

The moment you get back on your hooves however, the sound of gunfire suddenly rings from the hallway you leapt into when you rounded the corner. Again, you manage to roll out of the way again before he hits you, though one of the bullets does manage to barely graze your left rear leg.

"Damnit!" you curse yourself again as you hide behind the corner opposite the hallway, the gun close to your chest. Slowly, you wait as the sound of hooves draws ever near. As it draws close, you point your gun right at the corner, expecting to shoot the pony right as he rounds the corner. The moment you see the faintest hint of a muzzle, you pull the trigger and fire. However, right as you do, the pony suddenly backs away and you hit nothing. Before you can even react, the guard behind the corner suddenly gets low, rounds the corner, hits you in the stomach with the butt of his gun, then with one more swipe as he gets back up, knocks your own gun out of your hooves before holding his own gun sideways like a spear and pinning you to the wall with it.

"Well, well, well. It seems you've finally been dealt into the game," the guard in question hissed happily to you as you watch his eyes glow green for a second. "Risen Flagg has talked so much about you."

"Flattered," you respond with a glare.

"He said to let you squirm a little," he responded as the smile on his face grew a little. "So I hope you wouldn't mind I if I took a bite. Would you?"

The moment those words left his mouth, the still very recent memory of your boss getting devoured came to mind as your mind replayed all of it, all in every horrifying, gory little detail. His insides exposed, his fruitless attempts of struggle, his screams...

"Yaaah!" you yell in a rush of adrenaline as you suddenly find the strength to push it and the gun on your neck off of you. Still holding onto the guard's gun, all in one motion you twist your entire body and rip it right out of its grasp, then spin around and hit him right in the head with it. Taken aback, he staggers, seizing the moment, you go in for the brutal takedown. You hit him with two hits to the knee and chest, before shooting him in the head with his own gun, effectively killing him.

You huff and puff as you hold the gun tightly in your hooves.

'I don't think I'll be sleeping tonight,' you thought as you lowered the strange weapon. 'Risen. I should've seen this coming. Maybe I've lost this battle, but I'm not letting my brother be taken from me now... Damn it! No time to think! I have to move!' The moment you finish that thought though, your sensitive ears pick something up. Something behind you.

You blink, and your ears twitch as you turn your head around. There, terrified, is a young Solar Guard about to put a hoof to his helmet. Before he can even do that though, you pounce on him, pull his helmet away and you stand over him, the barrel of your gun pointed right at his face. With his helmet out, his thin face was completely out in the open. A light orange coat and a mane of a darker hue, freckles on the cheeks, terror in the brown eyes, and a narrow snout. Scrawny and pitiful is what can describe this curious misfit. He was breathing heavily, he was sweating, he was terrified, there was no way he could be a changeling.

Look at pumpkin.
Pick up pumpkin.
Win.

"Pumpkin!" a voice of concern suddenly shouts out of nowhere.

Taking a glance, you see a pair of ponies approaching. Likely, part of a same team. You inwardly growl. It's against procedure to call one another by name during active duty or operations, and it's indisciplinary to show such emotions. At the same time however, another part of you pulls back from the young guard at your hooves. If anything, this indiciplinary action just proved to you that neither he, nor his team were changelings at all. You look back down on the small stallion. He whimpers.

You let out a loud growl as you drop the gun, pick up Pumpkin, stand back up on your hind legs, and throw Pumpkin towards his team as if he is as light as a colt. They catch him, but they fall over. Before they can get back up, you run towards them, then jump over and pass them, going down the next set of stairs.

"T-the suspect is wearing disguise! He appears as if he's one of us. Now he's going down the fourth floor! Over!" the radio screams.

"Stand-bys from bottom floor to fourth floor, assemble and prepare to apprehend him!"

Knowing that your disguise has been blown, you rip it off as you fly down the stairs, keeping the helmet as you land again and gallop down through the third floor, giving no heed to the soldiers call for you to stop until you see a pony-barricade at the end of the hallway to block your path, and every single pony in the barricade had guns.

"STOP RIGHT THERE MOTHER****ER!" one of them shouts at you. Immediately, you turn around and run the other way down the hallway away from the stairs, only for every single pony in the barricade to fire at you as you barely, JUST BARELY, round one corner down another hallway and watch them destroy the wall at the end of the hallway you were just in with the sheer number of bullets flying through it. All the while the loud noises their guns made kept assaulting your ears. Seriously, your ears were not made for something like this. It was bad enough when it was a few guards and they were only firing off a few shots cause you sucked it up, but this. This was just painful.

With your options limited, you look down the new hallway you just dove into, only to see that it's a dead end. It's not even a very long hallway, all that's there is an Oak wood door at the end.

You prefer not to face the noise of many guards shooting at you.

You bust through the door into a dark room. Quickly you close the door back up and push a nearby cabinet of unknown contents in front of it to prevent anypony from getting in. Outside you can still hear the continuing gunfire, but thanks to the door its a bit muffled now, which makes your ears feel better at least. After a few moments though it finally stops.

At that, you let out a sigh great relief as the assaulting noise finally stops, only for a sudden realization to come upon you as you do. Why did they stop? Why did they stop shooting? Slowly you back away from the door, trying to figure out what to do. What to do? There was no way out of here, and its not like they would try to stop shooting you. If they stopped it was only for a moment, you knew that, the minute they figured out where they were they would start shooting again. What do you do? The answer came out of the radio.

"Hold your fire! He's in the gunpowder room!"

The silence that followed that was like clarity. Circling around, you see that the room you are in is indeed the Gunpowder room with every explosive thing you could care to name right now. Crates full of dynamite and sulfur, oil, and even chemistry set with various chemicals to go with it. This is any demolitionists safe haven, and you can't help but laugh.

"Grey," you say in between your little fits of laughter. "Looks like you've won this bet."

-A few moments later-

Unicorns line up in front of the doorway, horns lighting up. Earth ponies ready their spears, or guns, whatever they were using. Pegasi above the entrance to get the jump on you. That's what you imagine as you listened to them on the radio. They've been talking about their positioning for the past few minutes. They've also shouted a series of threats at you through the door.

You'll happily accept this luck. Now, at this point, what's the worst that could happen once you light the fuse? Even if it somehow failed, you'd still likely end up dead. If not from the explosion then from the legion of guards outside with guns.

With a smile on your face you light up a match and set aflame to a little string. The moment you finish that you run to the other side of the room, where you placed some crates as buffers for the explosion. Hopefully they would work... hopefully. After leaping behind them to safety, you plug your ears, and mentally count down.

5. 4. 3. 2. 1...

BOOM!

Your entire body vibrates by the sudden disturbance of the atmosphere. It feels heavy, warm, hot, and then cool, but then nauseous.

Also, your ears are ringing. You really don't like things blowing up, they hurt your sensitive ears. Even more so than the sounds those guns made when they went off. Debris scatters around and smoke is all you can see.

You're not done though, not yet, not by a long shot. Quickly, you throw a smoke bomb that you also made across the room. Hopefully this will allow for evening the odds.

With disoriented sense, a sore body, and imbalance, it's time to gamble.

With the smoke disorienting the guards, whether they had spears, guns, or otherwise, you ran like the clever colt you are, and you will remember to mention the bet to Grey Rebl when you two meet.

Running.

It was all in slow motion. The stumbling, unable to hear the inaudible shouts, the grey air leaving your breathing rag, the bumping of some objects. Changeling or Pony, you didn't know. You didn't care. There was only one thing that mattered now.

Running.

You run back into the hallway. You take a turn, then another turn. Then as you round that turn you throw another smoke bomb. Though the smoke you continue running. Amidst the sluggish processing of your mind, you came upon another idea. Quickly, yet still sluggishly, you maneuver around a few guards, and run into what you believe to be a door. Opening it, you stumble.

Falling.

You blink. You don't remember falling flat on your face.

'Stand up, damn it!' you shout at yourself as you will your legs to make you stand back up again. As you get back on your hooves, you see light peer through the smoke. A rectangular shape of light. It seemed so... solid. A transparent surface. Maybe... With just a few more steps... Move...

Struggling.

Move...

Standing.

MOVE!

Running.

FUCKING RUN!!!
Windows are good, open several, then run around for a while, backtrack and jump out of one at a height which will allow you to continue the FUCKING RUNNING!!!
don't fly because the temptation to fly high is too much and if you do, you make a wondrous moving target for anyone with a projectile weapon.

CRASH!

You're out of the smoke, and you have just crashed through a window, head first. Time is still moving at less than half speed. You feel everything as you fall. Your wings spreading, the air beneath your wings, the smell of sweaty ponies, the running, the glass falling with you, and the sunlight refracting from them. Rainbows flash into your eyes.

This experience... is nothing you're a stranger to.

Run! You got to get to Appleloosa, stat! Don't take the train, probably watched/guarded by changelings. Flying out would lead to the same problem, being spotted. Your best bet is to go through the sewers/caves under the city and sneak out if you can. I mean, the sewer has to go out somewhere, right?
Stealth Time. Take a cloak, hide in the shadows, and stay alert at a constant rate. They're out to kill you, and you can't fight them all. But you can take them out one at a time if it comes to that.

You know what you have to do. Even though you just escaped the palace. You're not done, not even remotely. Somehow, you've got to get to Appaloosa. You've got to warn Grey Rebl.

-Side Story-

-The Dalek Flagship, The Caesar-

Swimming Dalek's room

… I wat? What do you guys DO in your spare time? The f*ck? I thought I was the weird one in the group!

*Swimming Dalek sat at the only table in his room, his face perpetually frozen from the sheer and utter shock of what he had just heard. His fingers were barely able to hold onto the last bite of his hot dog as he let it drop back onto his plate.*

Swimming Dalek: What?...... I..... I did all that?

Random Dalek: Yes, Commander.... You did...

SD: I.... I....

*Swimming Dalek almost falls backwards and faints, but he manages to stop himself by grabbing his table. Neither of the two Daleks in the room make any effort to help him, as he seems to pull himself up just fine.*

Dalek Regulus: Would you... like to view the security footage?

SD: No... no I don't think that's necessary. I just have one question.

Random Dalek: State it.

SD: Where is BRP right now?

-The Starship Enterprise-

The Enterprise Medbay

Sidestory...
BRP will calm down eventually but for now he screams until he is out of breath and then inhales for 2 seconds and then resumes screaming....
Someone get him some morphene...

Meanwhile, in BS's head as he is still doing a terrible rendition of this : I'M A TREE!!! (He's still going to get the suit.)

*Gordon Freebrony just keeps staring in confusion at Registered Anonymous' as he keeps holding his hand out for him to shake it. As he has never really met Registered Anonymous before, he is naturally confused for many reasons, as is Bones and Nurse Ratchet. Bronze Statue though, just says nothing, as he fully understands the confusion. Suddenly, all of this is interrupted by BRP screaming like its all he can do now again.*

Gordon Freebrony: Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..................

BRP: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nurse Ratchet: Doctor!

Registered Anonymous: *immediately pulls his hand away from Gordon Freebrony and pulls out the bottle of peach vodka again* DON'T WORRY BRP! THE DOCTOR I-

McCoy: NOT YOU!

BRP: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GF: Wow, I wonder how long he can scream before he has to inhale again. I mean, yeah this can't be good for him, but all things considered, thats kind of impressive.

Ratchet: He needs morphine.

M: WELL THEN SOMEONE GET SOME MOR-

*Suddenly, before he can even finish that sentence, Registered Anonymous suddenly pulls out from his coat a large... very large, syringe full of morphine and with a quick injection of.... well, all of it, BRP finally stops screaming.*

RA: There, all done. Told you the doctor would take care of you man.

*Everyone, including Bronze Statue just stares at Registered Anonymous like he's a government sanctioned maniac, which he is.*

RA: What?

M: What was that?

RA: What was what?

M: That?

RA: What?

M: That... what you just injected him with?

RA: Oh this, morphine.

M: *looks at syringe.* Where did you get that?

RA: I found it.

M: You found it where?

RA: In my own private stash.

Bronze Statue: You have a private stash of morphine?

RA: Don't judge me!

GF: Right.... well in any case, it worked, he's fine. He is fine right?

Ratchet: His vitals are stabilizing. He's fine sir. Sill unconscious, but fine.

GF: Right.... So..... can I have my suit now?

M: Damnit Freebrony why are you still asking about that!?

GF: Why wouldn't I ask about it? I mean, it is mine after all. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to-

*Gordon Freebrony tries to get up, but is restrained by McCoy, who pushes him back onto the bed.*

M: Oh no you don't, you're not leaving this room until I say so.

GF: What, why!?

M: Because I say so. *starts shining a light into GF's eyes.*

GF: Fine *relaxes against his bed.* Can you at least just tell me where it is.

M: Dammit, Freebrony, I'm a doctor not an equipment manager! I don't know where your suit is. I was just told to tell you that there was trouble in the middle of the ship if you asked about it. Ask the captain if you really wanna know where it is. *keeps examining Gordon.*

GF: Fine, just get me a line to-

BS: I'll go.

*both Gordon Freebrony and McCoy turn to look at him.*

GF and McCoy: What?

BS: I'll go get your suit. I needed something to do anyway. I'm not getting much done sitting here anyway.

Nana: *Bronze Statue is still wearing BRP's wrist computer* Also, if I may, I would suggest getting some coffee too. You seem like you need it.

GF: Who was that?

RA: Oh, hey Nana, good to see you again.

GF: Who the f*** is Nana?

Nana: I am Nana.

BS: It's a long story. I'll tell you later once I get your suit.

*At that, Bronze Statue starts walking out of the room.*

BS: Come on RA.

RA: What, why?

BS: I might need your help with something, and honestly, I don't think you standing there with strange morphine needles and peach vodka is the best thing for BRP right now.

RA: Hmmmmmmmmm *thinks about this for a minute.* Okay, but the minute he wakes up I'm coming back. Even if we're in the middle of something.

BS: Fine.

*Bronze Statue, and by extension Nana and Hugh Jackman since he is still wearing BRP's wrist computer, and Registered Anonymous start to leave the room. Right as the door opens, Bronze Statue turns back around.*

BS: Sorry I forgot to ask. Where is the captain right now?

M: I don't know. Try his quarters. He's probably there right now waiting for one of us to tell him when we can do anything.

BS: Thanks.

*At that, Bronze Statue and Registered Anonymous finally leave the medbay. With them gone, and now somewhat relaxed, Gordon Freebrony just lays back on his medbay bed as Bones continues to look him over. As he does, he looks over to Zecora, who is still sleeping soundly, and still unconscious.*

GF: You know, all things considered, I'm impressed that she can sleep through all that screaming.

BRP: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GF: And there it goes.

Ratchet: DOCTOR!

*McCoy immediately leaves Gordon Freebrony and goes back to help Nurse Ratchet in looking after BRP. All the while, Gordon Freebrony just lays against his bed watching Zecora, who is still sleeping peacefully despite all the racket, which he is kind of jealous of.*

GF: 4... 5... 6... 7... 8...

Just Outside the Medbay, in the hallways

*Bronze Statue and Registered Anonymous walk away from the Medbay through the hallways of the USS Enterprise.*

RA: So.... do you even know where the captain's quarters are?

BS: No, but I can find out. *Pulls up BRP's wrist computer and hits a few buttons on it.* Hey Hugh, or Nana, you there?

Both Hugh and Nana: Always.

BS: Do you still have that map of the ship? This ship I mean, not The Caesar.

Nana: Of course.

Hugh: I'm guessing you wanna know the way to the captain's quarters.

BS: Eeyup.

Hugh: All right. *a quick map of the ship pops up and gives Bronze Statue the information he wants.*

BS: All right thanks.

Nana: No need to thank us. It's what we're here for.

RA: All right. Now up to the captain's quarters and OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH....................

*Registered Anonymous suddenly stops dead in his tracks. Bronze Statue doesn't see it, but he has a feeling that behind RA's mask is a look of sudden, and horrific realization, and it kind of scares him.*

BS: What?

RA: We need to get to the captain's quarters..... right now...... I...... I think there might be a situation.

BS: What kind of situation?

Captain Kirk's private quarters

*Captain Kirk finds himself unable to close his eyes as he can't help but stare at the two hot.......... very. Very. Hot........ ladies making sweet, sweet love to each other on his bed. Slim and Jim, the two ladies in question, don't really do anything, they just keep watching him to see what he would do.*

Kirk: Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh......................

Slim: Can we help you?

-Game of Twits-

- Meanwhile in Ponyville –

A tall white pegasus mare walks down the streets near the Hay-Burger, her stomach rumbles slightly and she stops to look towards the restaurant. She flits her black mane as she walks towards the doors of the restaurant and silently opens the door.

Clerk: Welcome to Hay-Burger, can I take your order?

Pegasus: I’ll take a double hay burger with the large fries and a sparling lemonade.

Clerk: That’ll be eight bits.

Pegasus: (opens her saddlebags and withdrew the bits) Here you are.

Clerk: Can I take your name please?

Pegasus: Fleur du Mal.

Clerk: Okay, when your order is ready, we’ll call your name Miss Mal.

Fleur Mal: Thanks. (walks over to a table and waits patiently when she notices two stallions, one a tan pegasus with a black mane and a dark grey unicorn with a brown shaggy mane walking towards her. The two stallions take a seat across from her and immediately beginning talking)

Daedalus: Hi.

Razor (not the Author): Hiya. Anyone ever tell you that you are absolutely gorgeous?

Fleur: (glares at him, her dark blue eyes cold in the artificial light)

Razor: You know, I’ve never seen a pegasus like you and that cutie-mark of yours, what exactly is it?

Fleur: It’s an ink spot. I work as a library clerk.

Razor: Oh…so you’re really smart. I like that.

Fleur: Listen, I’m…

Razor: So, how about I pick you up at around eight o’clock and we could hit a movie or maybe do something really…smartish.

Fleur: I’m…

Razor: Maybe just have a romantic dinner with…

Fleur: Look here, Mehrunes Dagon Razor, I would never ever engage in any kind of relationship with you even if you were the last stallion in all of Equestria, let alone anywhere on this entire planet.

Daedalus: How about…

Razor: What?

Fleur: And let me tell you this much, I know things about the both of you that would turn your coats whiter than snow. Daedalus Olympus, the reason why you are such a workaholic and a snob is because you are trying to compensate for the fact that you are insecure about your own intelligence to the point that you have somehow managed to alienate every single pony that you’ve ever come into contact with.

Daedalus: (jaw drops)

Razor: Try me.

Fleur: You’ve engaged in more carnal relations than almost any other pony in the entire nation.

Razor: Yeah, everypony knows that.

Fleur: Not all of your partners were mares.

Razor: (eyes narrow to pencil points as Daedalus just stares at him)

Clerk: Miss Fleur du Mal, your order is ready.

Fleur: YAY! (quickly rushes over and returns with her burger and drink)

Razor: Well…that’s just…

Fleur: Beat it or I begin discussing what position your mother was in when you were conceived.

Razor and Daedalus: (run out of the diner)

Fleur: Amateur jackasses (begins eating).

- Ten minutes later –

Fleur: Ok, so the quickest way to get to her house is via that alley located just over… ah ha, here.

She trots quietly down the street, enjoying the silence the alleyway afforded her and while she could fly, her trip was only a five minute leisurely walk down the street so it really would not matter all that much.

All at once, a guard pony rounded the corner and stepped in front of her.

Fleur: Oh, sorry, I was just on my way to see a friend.

Guard: You know that it’s dangerous to walk down the alleys of this town, especially after the execution (leans in closer)

Fleur: Step away or I’ll have to hurt you.

Guard: Please (his eyes flashed a green hue for a second) what could a little filly like you do to harm me?

Fleur: You see (the Warhammer of Zillyhoo appears) I am the rather good at getting ponies hammered.

Guard: (skull crushed into a pulp)

Fleur: Well that takes (ear twitches) Oh shit. (runs down the street)

All at once, Razor the Awesome appears and finds the mutilated changeling.

Razor: Heavens to Ziltoid, what the fuck fucked you up?

Looks around and sees a blood covered flowerpot laying nearby and a ledge clearly missing its flowerpot.

Razor: That seems very convenient and highly unlikely. (looks down the alleyway) Better make a house call.

- At Roseluck’s House –

Daisy: There’s someone at the door.

Roseluck: I’ll get it. (opens the door) Hi, may I help you?

Fleur: Just say that I’m your foreign exchange student friend from high school.

Roseluck: What?

Fleur: Just say it.

Roseluck: Why?

Razor: Hi, there new pony I don’t believe that we’ve had the pleasure of meeting.

Fleur: My name is Fleur du Mal, Roseluck’s old friend from high school.

Razor: Really?

Roseluck: Oh, she’s a foreign exchange student that studied here for a year and then went home.

Razor: Oh, really? (looks at the pony) What country are you from?

Fleur: Prance.

Razor: Vous attendez-vous vraiment que je crois que? (Do you really expect me to believe that?)

Fleur: J'ai grandi à la campagne et que vous commencez à me glisser hors de vous, quel que soit le Tartare vous êtes. (I was raised in the countryside and you are starting to creep me out you, whatever the Tartarus you are.)

Razor: Oh, very well then (snaps his fingers as the ponies become dazed and promptly vanishes)

Roseluck: What the hay is going on?

Fleur: Razor just wiped your memories to make you forget that he was here and I am currently doing everything in my power to edit exactly what he hears from me (slams the door behind her) I have something very important to tell you. (looks at Daisy) Is Lily around?

Daisy: She’s upstairs.

Fleur: Lily, come down here now.

Lily: (trots down the stairs) Who the hay is this?

Fleur: Look, you need to pack your things and take the soonest available train to Canterlot to kill Risen Flag.

Roseluck: I don’ even know you so if you would kindly get out of my house and…

Fleur: Oh for the love of… IT’S ME, DAEDALTHEUS.

>> DaedaltheusXIV
The Brown Dog spits out the disgusting as all hell pizza right onto the floor then throws the remains against the window.
Brown Dog: Well I was fucking wrong, this Pizza will never not taste like shit. Big Rico’s you disappoint me.
He looks around and notices that there is no one else in the restaurant. All he did was walk in and take a slice from what looked like an abandoned table.

Brown Dog: OK, seriously, where the hell is everyone?
An explosion is heard a few blocks away and he sees smoke and hears screams.
Brown Dog: Is it my birthday already?
He steps outside and witnesses an army of street sweepers going through the streets. Some are just cleaning the roads as normal, but there are some that are crashing through buildings, destroying cars, and killing people.

Brown Dog: Ohhhhh….street sweeping day…right.
The Street Sweepers run over a running couple, and they simply disappear, no blood or anything. He sees one destroying the Sheriff’s Secret Police’s black helicopter. He then sees one completely obliterate what was left of the Cecil statue.

Brown Dog: …oh well, they’ll just build another one if they’re smart.
He then hears screeching tires and loud gunfire, he sees the Coup De Ville roaring like a bat out of hell down the street being driven by some sort of school girl while a black haired chick with glasses and what looks like a canon rifle is firing and yelling at the street sweepers that chase them. The bullets are bouncing off the street sweepers and some of them are helping wreck the sides of buildings. They drive right past the Brown Dog as they escape.

Brown Dog: Well that looks like fun (waves at the girls in the car with the Dick Butt scratch on it) HI!
Whether they heard him or not he doesn’t know as they keep on driving shooting

Brown Dog: Huh, looks like they’re having the time of their lives…and why aren’t I? (He smiles deviously then whistles)
A street sweeper hears him and rushes at him with its deadly circular bristles sweeping the concrete as it charges. It goes right through him as if he wasn’t actually there and it rams right into the entrance of Big Rico’s.
The Brown Dog then pulls out a Molotov and throws it in the entrance, setting the whole interior on fire, which also seems to kill the street sweeper. He then just watches it burn and smiles.

Brown Dog: Well that’s one wrong righted in this world, now wheat and wheat by products makes me a dull boy. Now right another wrong (thinking while all the destruction and death happens)
OK…Butterflies. That has to be the sugary delicious cream filling middle of this conumdrum. And now I want a Twinkie, but first… Butterflies…hmmmm. Whelp, guess I gotta do this the old fashioned way

Teleports

Outside of a Warehouse in West Virgina at Night
Brown Dog: Mothman! Yo Mothman!
Out of the Mill appears a blurred figure about eight feet tall with glowing red eyes and moth wings
Mothman: Brown Dog…what do you want? (It says in a vocal frequency that no human could ever reach)
Brown Dog: I thought you could read minds and shit
Mothman: Not yours…
Brown Dog: Well thank god for that, you’d be even more fucked up if you did (laughs)
Mothman: …
Brown Dog: heh heh heh, so did you frame me for destruction of private property?
Mothman: No…I’m warning these people about a bridge collapse
Brown Dog: Oh ya, you’re screwing around with Richard Gere, Ok just had to be sure. Oh and here, thought you’d like this
The Brown Dog throws some chapstick and the Mothman catches it
Mothman: Thank you…
Brown Dog: No problem, and you’re sure you didn’t commit a blood pact and dance around a golden statue recently?
Mothman: I am positive…
Brown Dog: Alright then, good luck with your weird as hell movie
The Brown Dog teleports out

In the Godzilla Universe
The Brown Dog has the twin fairies of Mothra tied up to a chair and is dancing around them in a circle to “Stuck in the Middle with You.”
Fairies: You must let us go, we must awaken Mothra the world is in danger of King Ghidora.
Brown Dog: In a minute you little bitches! (Pulls out foldable razor) First I need some answers
Fairies: Do not hurt us, we mean you no harm
Brown Dog: Well if that’s the case, then why did you frame me!
Fairies: We don’t know of what you speak
Brown Dog: Bullshit! I know it was you, now confess!
Fairies: But we have done nothing
Brown Dog: Oh so you didn’t mark anything with the symbol of a butterfly in the blood of several animals?
Fairies: No! We would never do such a thing! We care about all life on the Earth!
Brown Dog: Ah, so you’re hippies then? (douses them in gasoline) this isn’t really helping your case
Fairies: Please, if we do not awaken Mothra will then the world will be in peril
Brown Dog: But Mothra always dies or gets her ass kicked, it’s Godzilla that ends up winning.
Fairies: It is our duty, please!
Brown Dog: Oh Ok then, but only because you said please (releases them)
Fairies: We must go now, but know this, we did not frame you strange creature
Brown Dog: Ya I figured that, but still it was fun while it lasted
Teleports out
Fairies: What a douchebag

In the Star Trek: The Next Generation Universe
The Brown Dog sits in front of Geordi La Forge with a .44 Magnum pointed between his visor
Brown Dog: Alright Burton, why’d you do it, where are they? Where’s the trigger!!! (Batman Voice)
La Forge: What?
Brown Dog: Yes it’s magical to read, but those butterflies aren’t made of blood you sicko!
La Forge: What are you talking about?
Brown Dog: You know…”Butterfly in the sky…”
La Forge: …?
Brown Dog: “I can go twice as high. Take a look, it’s in a book, a Reading Rainbow!”
La Forge: I still have no idea what you’re talking about. Is that you Q?
Brown Dog: No, I’m much more handsomer…now why did you frame me?
La Forge: I don’t even know who you are!
Brown Dog: Oh sure you don’t….Wait, you don’t?
La Forge: Shakes his head
Brown Dog: Oh then who the hell am I thinking of?...Oh well, punch Wesley for me (smiles and disappears.
La Forge: …What the fu…

In a Van down by the river
Brown Dog: So then I visited the moth priest in Skyrim, but the dude was blind, so now I’m out of leads.
Matt Foley: Well it seems to me that you are in quite a pickle. As am I…I haven’t done drugs in God knows how long, and now I’m seeing a talking dog. I guess that’s what happens when YOU’RE LIVING IN A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER!!!
Brown Dog: Hey it’s not so bad (takes a bite out of the Government Cheese Matt survives on)
Matt Foley: Well let me tell you something young man, if you’re at the scene of a crime, you have to look at all the evidence, and put them together. If you forget a vital clue, you’ll lose your job and end up LIVING IN A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER!!!
Brown Dog: Hmmm…what could I have missed? The bloody butterfly is the clue….wait, the blood! That’s it! Yer a genius Matt!
Matt Foley: Well I don’t give a rat’s patootey, I’m coming with you
Brown Dog: Nah, no thanks
Matt Foley: I’m coming with you whether you like it or not, I’m sick and tired of LIVING IN A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER!!!
Brown Dog: Sorry, no habla espanol (Teleports out)
Matt Foley: DAMNIT!!!

In the Twin Peaks Universe
The Brown Dog has hundreds of animal flash cards set up in front of bottles. He has several rocks in his hands and is out in the middle of the woods.
Brown Dog: OK, Bird, Big Mammal, and Draconian DNA. Two things that can fly, and one that can’t…Some kind of hybrid?
Throws the rock and it hits a fire breathing dragon card
Brown Dog: That’s a yes…now does an enemy possess it?
Throws rock and misses
Brown Dog: Hmm…A friend?
Throws rock and misses
Brown Dog: Oh right, I don’t have friends (face paws) silly me. Do I know them?
Throws rock and it breaks a card in front of a Golden Eagle
Brown Dog: Alright, so it has wings and it breathes fire, and it’s still obviously a mammal, and there was magic from what Cortana said…Wait a minute.
Brown Dog throws the next rock and it hits the bottle in front of a Giant Panda
Brown Dog: A magical winged fire breathing panda…of course it had to be him…Well this is gonna be fun (genuinely smiles)
Teleports out with all his flash cards and bottles going to Hammer Space

The Brown Dog teleports into a castle of unadulterated insanity. All around are giant ornate structures covered in crazy ramblings and all kinds of toys litter the floor. In the middle of this throne room sits a bipedal figure sitting upon a giant chair. He is laughing crazily

??...Nyah, nyaaaahhhhh, nyaaahhhhahaaahahahahahahaha
Brown Dog: You done?
?: ….Yes that’s enough fan service for now.
Brown Dog: Zant…you got some explainin to do
Zant: Oh yes quite so, but first let me sing you a song I wrote with my Abacus
Brown Dog: That’s a Pine Cone
Zant: Shut up, it helps me with math!…ahem… (Music comes out of Nowhere)
Come with me to a world of pure imagination,Go to hell Willy Wonka this is my destination! It’s a land of severe psychological pain. Welcome Brown Dog, to the realm known as Zant’s Domain…
Brown Dog: (Smiles and wags his tail) this is gonna be funner than I thought…

Author's Note:

status: edited

Comments

[A the OC alicorn spartan]

I'm confused as shit why does D want Rissen dead?

[KenSES64]

Zant aren't you supposed to be in the Crystal Empire?

Also no Gunter? We need to push Gunter for Summerslam!

[SwimmingDalek98]

Me: … How many other ships do we have offline?

Dalek: Only four, master! The destroyer Brutus, the cruiser Remus, the cruiser Marius, and the carrier Augustus!

Me: Good. how long till they're back online?

Dalek: Approximately four kan-drells!

Me: Perfect. Now, I probably already know the answer to this, but is the Legion Cannon operational?

Other Dalek: Negative! The Caesar's power supply has been redirected from recharging the cannon to the incubation zone!

Me: How long until enough power's restored for the Legion Cannon to begin preparing again?

Dalek #2: Calculating… *Numbers fly on the computer screen* Seven kan-drells!

Me: F*CK! And if we count in the time needed to recharge that big guy… We're sitting ducks. The Legion Cannon was the only thing hat kept the playing field even between us and Flagg. He sent his Slender specifically to disable the Legion Cannon! Damn…

Dalek #3: Your orders, Master?

Me: … Put all possible efforts into restoring the other ships. If there's someone who's sitting about, tell them to MOVE THEIR LAZY ASSES INTO HIGH GEAR! WE NEED THOSE FOUR ONLINE! Tell all non-necessary crew members of all ships to move to those four to assist in repairs! Then, I want all the functioning ships in a circle around them. Keep all functioning weapons locked onto everything within a 50-gan-kell radius of Canterlot. Once things get crazy, Flagg could try to run. We'll surround him in a ring of fire. Aim from the edge of the ring, and start firing inwards.

Dalek #3: Master, you gave us orders not to fire upon the civilians of this world!

Me: That's what Flagg wanted me to do… He hid behind a city of innocents… But I have a plan… Now, GO!

All Daleks on bridge: YES MASTER!

Dalek voice on intercom: DALEK LEGION! YOU HAVE NEW ORDERS FROM THE MASTER! YOU ARE TO SEND YOURSELVES UPON THE REMUS, BRUTUS, MARIUS, AND AUGUSTUS TO ASSIST IN REPAIRS! REPEAT: ALL DALEKS NOT NECESSARY FOR BAREBONES OPERATION OF FLEET, OR HATCHERY OPERATORS ARE TO REPORT TO THE FOUR DISABLED SHUTTLES FOR REPAIRS! THIS IS A DIRECT ORDER FROM THE MASTER!

Scrambling Daleks: WE OBEY!

Dalek Antares: Master… what is your plan?

Me: … *Presses small button on my chair, and music plays*

Antares: Master?

Me: In all of my life, there has only been one thing I regret, Antares…

Antares: Kalporos…

Me: I did nothing then… I let a world turn to dust… Because I was foolish enough to believe in heroes…

Antares: Master…

Me: It's time I made up for that...

[Registered Anonymous]

Since there is no what do on with the side story then!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Slim grabs a pack of cigarettes from the side table and pulls one out before lighting it and smoking it. Jim on the other hand wraps the covers around her exposed body and continues to stare at Captain Kirk before asking "You know for being the captain who has fucked many different space species you seem to lose your cool at seeing lesbians have sex."

However before anyone could respond to that statement R.A. comes running around the corner coming straight at Captain Kirk before slamming his foot into Captain Kirk's side launching him down the hallway slightly. R.A. grabs the door frame with both hands before yelling "SLIM! JIM! What have I said about having sex..." R.A. then pulls out a camcorder "And not inviting me to video tape it and make millions off of it!?"

Slim grits and narrows her eyes at R.A. before saying threateningly "You and everyone else in the hallway have five seconds to leave before I decide to shove my foot up every last one of your asses."

R.A. thinks before asking "So that's a no?"

[DaedaltheusXIV]

- Meanwhile in the Supernatural Universe –

Sam and Dean Winchester sit tied up with Jinx sitting to their side, a gun in her hand waving delicately between the two brothers.

Jinx: Eenie, meanie, miney, moe…

Sam: Are you actually playing that game to decide which of us to shoot first?

Jinx: Maybe but that all depends on how calmly you can shut the fuck up! (places the gun against his head)

Dean: Better stay calm, Sammie, she seems crazy.

Jinx: (bounces over to him with the gun against his head) Wanna see my doctor’s note?

On the other side of the room, Raven and Castiel sit calmly at a table, miraculously still standing after the bullets destroyed the remainder of the room, discussing actually important things relevant to the plot.

Raven: So, what can you tell us about this Brown Dog character.

Castiel: I can tell you this much, the Brown Dog is just a name. I’ve never truly met him, except for when he came here asking for autographs and talking to those two.

Dean: How come I can’t remember that?

Jinx: Probably cause he wiped your brains clean, well more clean than what I’m going to do if you keep talking.

Raven: Regardless, you were saying.

Castiel: They’re just names, nothing special really just like the others.

Raven: What others?

Castiel: Again, just names like Razor, KenSES, Daedaltheus and others that I’ve got no idea about who they are.

Jinx: Hey, we work for Daedaltheus!

Dean: Why doesn’t he come in person instead of sending a knock-off anime girl and a video game character?

Jinx: (SMACK)

Dean: OW!

Sam: Oh great, more women from your anime-smut, Dean?

Dean: Anime is an art, not porn.

Jinx: Clearly you’ve never searched hard enough on Google.

Raven: Anyways, yes we work for Daedaltheus who cannot come here because he is afraid of Death.

Sam: Really? Everyone’s afraid of death.

Castiel: There are rumors spreading around the primordial forces that a creature called the Abomination is wanted by all of the Deaths across the dimensions.

Dean: And why is he wanted then?

Castiel: He cheated Death, literally, out of his soul.

Raven: Seems like our boss.

Castiel: Regardless, never met any of them but I can that you are not amongst their ranks.

Raven: And how do you figure that?

Castiel: I saw you on TV with a group of teenagers fighting crime and from what Dean’s said, so is she.

Jinx: Huh, I guess that makes sense.

Raven: Agreed, so you don’t know anything about the Brown Dog.

Castiel: No.

Raven: I hope Rip and Asuka are having better luck than we are.

- Meanwhile in Night Vale –

Rip and Asuka walk through the surprisingly empty streets of Night Vale looking for the Coupe De Ville when they round the corner near the radio station.

Rip: There it is.

Asuka: Finally, we…found…do you hear that sound?

Rip: Ya, it sounds a bit like a street sweeper.

Asuka and Rip: (scream)

Asuka: Start the car! START THE FUCKING CAR, NOW!

Rip: WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM TRYING TO DO!? (Turns the keys in the ignition and starts the car just as the sweepers round the corner)

Radio Cecil: And as we cower in fear of the sweepers, I give you, the weather.

Asuka: Must go faster! Must go faster!

Rip: Working on that!

The Coupe de Ville speeds down the streets of Night Vale, barely rounding the corner by Mission Grove Park and unfortunately catches the attention of several street sweepers. The pair speed down the street pursued by at least eighteen street sweepers, each one intent on cleaning Rip and Asuka. Thoroughly.

Asuka: They’re getting closer to us!

Rip: I can see that! (fidgets with the rear view mirror) How far until the portal?

Asuka: 45 blocks!

Rip: Gott in Himel…take the wheel!

Asuka: WHAT?!

Rip: Take the damned wheel (positions herself in the backseat as Asuka takes the wheel, all the while Rip Van Winkle stands up, unshouldering her rifle)

Rip: TINKER TAILOR SOLDIER SAILOR! MY BULLET PUNISHES ALL WITHOUT DISTINCTION! (BANG! The shot flies forward striking but not deterring the sweepers as the Coupe de Ville rounds the corner by Big Rico’s Pizza).

Asuka: Is it helping?

Rip: Not much (clang, clang the bullet strikes the sweepers)

Asuka: Well try hard… SPEED BUMP!

The car hits the speed bump, pitching Rip out of the backseat where she hits the ground, rolling several times before coming to a stop just a block down from the street sweepers that pause for a minute. Rip looks up, clutching a broken arm, scraped and bloodied from the impact as the street sweepers rev their engines and at last, one breaks free, launching towards Rip Van Winkle.

Asuka: Rip! (floors the car in reverse)

All at once, something comes flying out of the trees along the street, about the same size as Asuka but far more nimble. Rip closes her eyes, prepared to embrace death as the street sweeper descends on her but it is stopped and being lifted upwards. She opens her eyes to see a woman with long white hair tied back in a large long braid, wearing a green and white tunic with shoulder pads holding back the street sweeper WITH HER BARE HANDS. Moreover, she has long almost feline like ears with a collar and large golden bell attached to it.

???: You think you’re stronger than me, STREET SWEEPER!!! (rips the machine in half)

Rip: AISHA!

Aisha Clan Clan: Heh heh, thought you gals might need some help. (a second sweeper advances and meets a similar fate as Aisha throws the half of the one she destroyed into it)

Asuka: (pulls up) Get Rip into the car, hurry!

Aisha: (lifts Rip into the car and then turns back to face the advancing sweepers) Give me about two minutes and I’ll join you gals on the outskirts of town.

All at once, the cat-girl, seriously, leaps at the sweepers as the car speeds off, letting into them with nothing but her hands and superhuman strength, pulling wheels and engines blocks out from behind the steel plating. Two sweepers attempt to use the scraping metal brushes to erase her, colliding with her when suddenly, the large round brushes cease moving, held in place by Aisha’s hands. With a swift motion, the machines are torn apart, the woman swinging the pieces madly into the onslaught of unlucky sweepers, crushing some and immobilizing others where they stand. Ultimately, she picks up the last of the pursuing sweepers and with a single throw, tosses the behemoth of steel and death, still spewing noxious black smoke into the air through a wall and into the Dog Park that No One is Supposed to Go Near or Talk about.

- Meanwhile Outside of Town by the Portal Near Old Woman Josie’s –

Asuka: Quit squirming and let me puts something on that scrape.

Rip: OW! OW! OW! It hurts.

Asuka: You rolled across the pavement while clutching your rifle what do you expect to happen?

Rip: Point taken. Where’s Aisha?

Asuka looks up to see a large white striped cat with a long tail bounding towards the car and before reaching it leaps into the air where it transform back into the cat-girl before descending into the backseat.

Aisha: Heh, heh, looks like we’re in the clear.

Rip: Thank the gods (sits up) Asuka, let’s go join Jinx and Raven.

Asuka: All right (drives into the portal)

-Meanwhile in the Supernatural Universe-

Jinx: Oh hey, something shiny! (points towards a large portal opening as a Coupe de Ville enters the parking lot, next to the red Mustang)

Raven: It must be Rip and Asuka.

Dean: Is that Aisha Clan Clan in the backseat?

Sam: Dammit, Dean, more of your smut.

Raven: (walks away from Castiel) Thanks for everything and nothing.

Castiel: No problem (sits back down in front of the TV)

Raven: How’d Night Vale pan out?

Asuka: Total dud, though we did at least see the Brown Dog.

Jinx: Any leads?

Asuka: Not many but Rip is kinda fucked up so I’m taking her back to see Fran in Medical.

Raven: Agreed, I think that we should regroup there and pool our resources, though limited.

With that, the five women depart back to the Bunker, leaving Castiel to watch cartoons with the brother tied together by the hole in the wall.

Castiel: You know, that depressing girl sounds just like the purple pony on TV.

Dean: Great, now Cas is a brony.

[Alyarin9000]

Right then, Clutershine! Stay low as you fly. And, in an attempt to possibly clear your name,
If you gain the opportunity to do so and not blow your cover, tell everyone you can to scan the guards of the right floors for changelings, and to get someone to scan the CIA head for changeling infiltration. If you can prove that this is changeling-related, you could get home-free.
Suggested times:
When you have a hostage (That moment earlier with the ACTUAL pony guards, and the scared stallion? Yeah, that would have been perfect. They may not do it immediatley, but later...)
While you're being chased (And your location is known)

Also, tell them most importantly to check Risen Flagg for changelingness. In your mind, he is likely a changeling, and thus this is all a changeling plot. In the grander scheme of things, you become a hero that rooted out a changeling plot, and was mistaken when you attacked Risen Flagg. To the princesses, however, Flagg's proximity to a changeling plot (to the point that you thought he was one) will give the question; how DID he find the Changeling Device?

This is all in the grand scheme of things, and you will not know... Just... Making sure it isn't overlooked ;)

[Bronze Statue]

Main story:
Clustershine, I hope you can adapt very rapidly to the new situation. You are being hunted by changelings with weapons that have high range, rate of fire, power, and accuracy, although not always wrapped into one. Yo have been framed by a senator who seems intent on destroying everything you and your friends hold dear, as well as gaining control of the government. Get to your friend, let him know what happened as soon as you can confirm that he isn't a changeling, and find some way to inform Celestia and Luna of these developments by way of someone else that is: trustworthy, fast, and not currently being framed for treason. For the sake of everything you hold dear, do this.
Side Story:
*after the, shall we say, "incident" described in this comment: 4487843 *
BS: (to RA) I have a feeling that to anyone who hasn't been working with you would feel that this particular situation is incredibly awkward and strange, but really, I give it a 5 out of 10. (to Slim and Jim) Isn't there something you two should be doing to help the others in our unlikely ragtag fleet? (to Kirk) I was told to find you and find out the whereabouts of a certain suit is for a... Mister Freebrony, I believe it was?
*in the distance, "That's [DOCTOR] Gordon Freebrony to you!" is heard*
(I can't fully remember if my character knows about the spiders, but if he does, he adds: Also, I heard something about a crate of mechanical spiders. Since I don't really have anything better to do other than fetch someone's clothes, could you point me in that direction as well? *at which point, everyone who has actually met GF would explain what the Black Mesa HEV Mk. IV Protection System is: an orange, armored HAZMAT suit.)

[DaedaltheusXIV]

-Meanwhile at Roseluck’s House-

Roseluck: Bullshit, you are not Daedaltheus.

Line Draft: (coming from the kitchen) Prove it. If you are him, then you should be able to prove to us that you are him.

Fleur du Mal: Come again?

Line Draft: Tell us each something about ourselves that only he would know.

Fleur du Mal: Again the goddman, fine then. You want it that way then so be it.

Lily: We are waiting.

Fleur du Mal: Lily, you are an avid angle dust user and at the party at Pinkie’s were found in a number of sexually impossible positions, though it’s okay because at least YOU use protection.

Lily: (flushes white)

Fleur du Mal: Daisy, you are a sexually repressed mare who due to her upbringing is actively confused about your orientation as you have both feelings for a stallion and at least TWO mares. Stallion’s name is Big Macintosh, of course because that ship has yet to be sailed in most universes, and the mares are standing right here in fucking front of me. Of course this does not solve your latent feelings for BOTH Roseluck and Line Draft, of whom the latter you find quite attractive.

Daisy: (faints)

Fleur du Mal: Line Draft, I made you so that’s not fair so that leaves Roseluck. It’s name is Victor, his setting is eleven and it can be none more black than it already is. More importantly, you wish to engage in carnal relations with myself even though it is quite obviously never going to happen for three reasons: A – I am human, B – I have a loving girlfriend and C – I AM A MOTHERFUCKING HUMAN.

Roseluck: Jesus Fucking Christ it is you.

Fleur du Mal: Indeed but that’s besides the point and that point is you have to go to Canterlot and kill Risen Flag.

Roseluck: Why should we, I mean he is working for you, right?

Fleur du Mal: He’s going rogue and has been moving towards such for quite some time now.

Line Draft: How so?

Fleur du Mal: I’ve been sending him commands for a while now and he is being quite unresponsive and all together changing the commands all together. The Derpy Hooves thing in the town square, he was only supposed to kill her in the physical sense.

Lily: (regaining herself) I’m confused but he did.

Roseluck: Yeah, we saw it.

Fleur du Mal: He also destroyed her soul which was not a part of the plan.

Roseluck: What?!

Fleur: Her soul was meant to ascend but for whatever reason, it vanished but not before drifting towards Canterlot.

Roseluck: Is that all?

Fleur: No, the guards have assault rifles.

Line Draft: Fuck me Nay Bradbury.

Fleur: They were always meant to have them but he’s advancing too soon and far too early. I mean, it’s only a few days away from…from… (begins coughing)

Roseluck: Are you okay?

Fleur: I don’t (vomits blood and a blackish substance) Oh god (vomits again).

Roseluck: DAEDALTHEUS!

Fleur: He’s trying to…(vomits again) He’s trying to…(vomits and falls backwards, vanishing)

Roseluck: OH GODS, NO. DAEDALTHEUS!

Line Draft: DAEDALTHEUS!

- Back at the Bunker –

A red doorframe opens into the office of Daedaltheus where the now human form being falls through onto the floor and crawling towards his trash can, he vomits one last time spitting and wiping away the residue as Raindrops runs in.

Raindrops: Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear, what’s happening to you? (looks in the can) What is that?!

DXIV: Blood and ink (spits) blood and ink.

Raindrops: Why?

DXIV: I got kicked out for some reason.

Raindrops: How? Did something go wrong?

DXIV: Everything was fine when suddenly BAM, illness but I think I know what happened.

Raindrops: What?

DXIV: (grabbing a legal pad and pen) Risen Flag kicked me from the universe.

Daedaltheus approaches the portal, which has remained open and presses his finger against the black void between the frames where his finger acts as though it is being pressed against a solid wall. Pressing harder with his whole hand, Daedaltheus finds that he cannot reenter the portal nor cross into Equestria through the red doorframe.

Raindrops: Oh my god.

DXIV: It’s okay, don’t panic, I can resolve this with a simple note (writes down on the paper ‘Hey, what in God’s name are you trying to pull here?’ and tosses it through the frame where it comes back through seconds later)

Raindrops: Well?

DXIV: It says ‘This is my story now’ signed Nyarlathotep.

Raindrops: Oh no.

DXIV: (writes down ‘Roseluck get out of there now’ and tosses the page at the doorframe but the sheet merely bounces back to his feet)

Raindrops: Daedaltheus?

DXIV: *ROARS*

At that moment, following the glass in and around the office, or rather throughout the bunker shaking, Integra enters the room.

Integra: What’s going on here?

DXIV: THAT LOATHESOME SON OF A BITCH GOD JUST KICKED ME FOR THE UNIVERSE, STRANDING MY PERSONAL ASSISTANT AND FOUR OTHER ASSESTS WITH HER!

Integra: Well, I’ve got worse news for you.

DXIV: And what could be worse than losing absolutely control, heh?!

Integra: The Council decided four to two that when this is all over, you are to be executed.

DXIV: Fuck me. What else?

Integra: Well, there was some debate because Gunter voted against killing you.

- Hours Ago with the Red Council –

Patrick Bateman: I can’t believe he voted to save the bastard.

Doctor Horrible: I mean, he really voted to save the bastard.

Swan: I do.

Bateman: Seriously, why?

Swan: Gunter believes in Daedaltheus because of what he has done to save RED, I mean after all, he is the one who destroyed the Ivory Tower and ended the White Council with the slaying of the Childlike Empress.

Horrible: Yes but still, he’s a loose cannon and more importantly a god with a god-complex.

Bateman: There are you god’s only uncommon men.

Horrible: I think the more important question is why we follow Gunter.

Swan: Of all of history’s greatest monsters, he is the most evil being anyone has ever encountered.

Bateman: What did he do to deserve the title?

- Centuries Before-

Gunter stands before a series of monitors, looking over various schematics and maps when the door bursts open with an entire team of elite special ops soldiers surrounding the penguin, rifles and pistols drawn.

Soldier 1: We’ve got you now, you son of a bitch!

Gunter: Wahn wahn wahn wahn (Looks like you have)

Soldier 2: With your capture we can end the war.

Gunter: Wahn wahn wahn wahn wahn wahn wahn wahn.

Soldier 2: What did he say?

Soldier 3: He already did it, 35 minutes ago.

With that, the monitors lit up to reveal dozens of nuclear explosions activating across the planet with the largest being a vast mushroom cloud of green light.

Gunter: WAHN WAHN WAHN WAHN WAHN WAHN WAHN (Thus ends the Great Mushroom War)

- Decades Later in Another Universe -

Spiderman: Run! JUST RU (BANG!)

???: HOLY SHIT! HOLY (BANG BANG BANG BANG – collapses)

Gunter: WAHN WAHN (Goodbye, Deadpool)

- In Another Parallel –

Scientist: Well that whole thing managed to go to shit fast!

Senator: How were we supposed to know the calming agent in the atmosphere would create berserkers out of the populace and that they would be capable of space travel?

Gunter: WAHN (Relax)

Senator: Why should we?

Gunter: Wahn Wahn Wahn Wahn Wahn Wahn Wahn Wahn Wahn Wahn Wahn Wahn Wahn Wahn Wahn Wahn Wahn Wahn Wahn Wahn Wahn Wahn Wahn Wahn Wahn Wahn Wahn Wahn Wahn Wahn (We will create a myth around these men and women cannibals and hide their origins from all so that the people never learn the truth about what we did)

Scientist: They need some name right so what do we call them?

Gunter: Wahn (Reavers).

- Back with the Council –

Bateman: That is evil.

Swan: Preciously.

Horrible: So about Daedaltheus.

Swan: Dead.

Bateman: Totally gonna skin him alive and feed him to Evelyn.

- At the Bunker –

DXIV: Ok then, so how much worse could things get?

Asuka: (bursts into the room) We got back but Rip got fucked up pretty bad and is in the infirmary right now.

DXIV: Still…

Glados: A news bulletin just came up – OIC New York Office attacked by mad man in suit – hundreds dead, dozens wounded and the office building was set on fire by someone singing Hip to Be Square.

DXIV: (silence)

Integra: Dear…

DXIV: I WANT ALL OF THEDEPARTMENT HEADS OF DIVISION FORTY-TWO TO MEET ME IN THE CONFERENCE ROOM RIGHT NOW! AS OF THIS MOMENT, WE ARE AT WAR!

[Broniesrponies2]

Soooooo laaaaate. But here I am at 4 am.
Trains are your friend Clustershine. But dont get on one normally. Instead hold yourself underneath it like a badass all the way to apploosa. (takes fucking hours) When you arrive, hide under a box solid snake style and get to the AIA headquarters.

Sidestory....
Im so late with this (4 days) but continuing...(need sleep)

BRP stops screaming as the morphene takes effect.
BRP: Medic! Mediiiic!!
MCoy: You can speak? At last count, two of your ribs weren't broken.
BRP: Yeah, I have ALOT of morphene in me and this hurts like 12 mutts fucking a bitch all at once. Got a way to pop them back into place?
MCoy: We were going to operate as soon as you were properly stable. But now you're awake.
BRP: Basically, I took a hard hit to the breast bone an that crushed my ribcage in on itself a little bit. Make an incision, spread the ribs a little, grab the breast bone and pull it out about half an inch. Go get scrubbed up, I'm gonna pop back to being unconscious in a sec. And I'm gonna need to speak to Hugh after the surgery so get my wrist computer. BS probably has it. He is the only sane person qualified to use it.
RA's voice floats in.
RA: I'm qualified!
BRP: I SAID SANE
RA: Oh
BRP: Anyway, I heard something about mechanical spiders when we were off to fight SD so we should probably- nope. Here I go.
BRP goes back to being unconscious.
MCoy: Is he even human?

NOW I GET TO SLEEP TOO! GOODNIGHT!