Hurts.... To.... Talk
Channel your inner Old Man Henderson, he's used to all this Lovecraftian stuff.
Character Slot 2: Old Man Henderson, and become convinced that Pennywise stole your lawn gnomes. (We want to break the villain author's game, who better against Nyarlothepe than the only character ever to WIN a Call of Cthulu game?)
-Meanwhile, in a parallel universe-
Meanwhile at Old Man Henderson's House
*knock* *knock*
OMH: *answers door* DID YOU STEAL MY LAWN GNOMES!?
Pony withdraws a tranquilizer gun and fires seven shots into the old man
*dials cell phone*
Roseluck: The deed is done. The Old Man's out like a light. What should I do next?
Daedaltheus XIV: Burn the body.
Roseluck: WHAT?!
DXIV: He's dead, right?
Roseluck: These are tranquilizers, aren't they?
DXIV: Yes, made from a highly toxic venom that kills the host upon impact, and you just filled him with seven, right.
Roseluck: Yes.
DXIV: Whelp, he's super dead now, which reminds me, now that he's dead, read the encant so that his soul shall speak no more.
Roseluck: Understood. Non ut vivat anima adolebit (Burn the soul so that it shall live no more). Done.
DXIV: Good now dispose of the the body.FIVE MINUTES LATER...
Roseluck: *pours gasoline around OMH's house and front yard, leaving the cans where they fall after they are empty* *walks over to the front door and strikes a match* I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE AND I BRING YOU! *throws match* FIRE!
THE NEXT DAY...
News Anchor: A freak multi-house fire broke out on fifth street today, of which fire marshals are declaring to have started at old man Henderson's house. The culprit is remains at large and is believed to be dangerous. Sources state they heard a voice singing the Arthur Brown song Fire before the fire spread to the neighboring homes.
"DING DONG!!!" The sound echoed for what must have been the twelfth time through Old Man Henderson's house as he finally walked over and answered the door. On the other side was..... a creme colored pony with green eyes and a red mane and tail. She was also wearing a belt for some odd reason.
"EWE BE KEEPIN' ME WEE MEN!?!?" Old Man Henderson screamed at the top of his lungs the moment he saw the pony. The pony didn't respond. Instead, it pulled out what looked like a modified Colt .45 and fired seven darts into his chest. Afterwards, she put her gun away and promptly pulled out a cell phone from her pocket.
"The deed is done," Roseluck said into it. "The old man's out like a light. What should I do next?"
"Burn the body," Daedaltheus said at the other end of the line.
"WHAT!?" Roseluck couldn't help but scream aloud as she almost dropped the phone. "These are just tranquilizers, aren't they?" She asked, suddenly worried.
"Yes," Daedaltheus responded. "Made from a highly toxic venom that kills the host upon impact." And suddenly, Roseluck felt her eye's shrink into pinpricks. "And you just filled him with seven, right?"
"Yes," Roseluck answered in a weak voice.
"Whelp, he's super dead now," Daedaltheus responded. "Which reminds me. Now that he's dead. Read the encant so that his soul will speak no more." Roseluck just let out a loud sigh at that.
"Understood," she said before she put the phone down on the ground in front of her before she turned around and started ruffling through her pockets again. Eventually, she found what she was looking for, a folded up piece of paper, which she unfolded and held in front of her as she turned around to face the sleeping Old Man Henderson again. "Non ut vivat anima adolebit," she spoke aloud as she read the paper. Once she was done, she looked back up at the sleeping Old Man Henderson..... and nothing happened. That was okay though. From what she was told, she shouldn't have been able to actually see this part happening. With that done though, she folded up the piece of paper and put it back in her pocket as she picked the phone back up. "Done," she said into it.
"Good," Daedaltheus responded to her. "Now dispose of the body."
Five Minutes Later
Roseluck had just finished pouring out containers of gasoline around Old Man Henderson's house and front yard, leaving the containers where they fell after they were empty. After she was done, she walked back around to the front of the house and struck a match, which she looked at for a moment, then back down at the body of Old Man Henderson, then back at the match. As she stared at it, a smile started to stretch across her face.
"I am the god of hellfire," Roseluck began to sing. "And I bring you." And at that, she threw the match into the house. "FIRE!!!"
The Next Day
On a local newstation, footage of a local neighborhood on fire was shown before it cut back to a newswoman in the studio.
"A freak multi-house fire broke out on fifth street today," The newswoman spoke. "Of which fire marshals are declaring to have started at the home of a man the local residents call "Old Man Henderson." The culprit remains at large and is believed to be dangerous. Sources state they heard a female voice singing the Arthur Brown song Fire before the fire spread to the neighboring homes."
-Meanwhile, in this story's universe-
Channel King Arthur so you can go get Excalibur
and King Arthur because that's the next thing your injury-addled brain thought of.
Channel king arther
channel : king arthur
After what that clown did to you, you really want a better weapon to go along with your awesome latin powers, Excalibur could come in handy later, Channel King Arthur or his ancestor the Gunslinger Roland Deschain which will help in fighting the Man in Black.
Character slot 1: King Arthur
As you come to the first thing you notice is that your character channeling slots have been wiped clean. Probably because you were defeated or because you went to sleep, or something in between those two. Then again, you've slept before and you kept your characters, so more than likely they got wiped because you got your ass handed to you.
In any case however, the first thing you decide to do now that you're awake again is to set that back, especially now that you have three character slots instead of two. How you got the third character slot is still a mystery to you though.
Anyway, first and foremost, you decide to put King Arthur back in your first slot. After what that clown thing did to you.... Odin and Zeus just thinking about him brings back all the memories of what happened yesterday (or was it yesterday?). You were almost certain that you were gonna die. But yeah, after what happened, you kind of want a better weapon, especially now since you've unlocked your Morgan Bloodline ability.
Even though you know that you probably won't get Excalibur until much later, if at all, it could come in handy when you do get it. Especially considering who you're dealing with. You're not entirely sure if it will work or if you'll get it at this point, but hey, it never hurts to be prepared.
Character slot 1: King Arthur
Channel Batman for his detective skills and combat based awesome
Batman, because he's Sherlock with combat knowledge.
You need analytic as well as combat skills, Channel the Batman.
- Batman for his intellect and strategic fighting style
Channel Batman. Because he's a genius detective, a genius fighter, and a genius genius.
Also batman
Next must come either Batman or Sherlock Holmes. Their crime fighting skills are superhuman
Batsy cause ... cause... aw fuck don't have a reason
Next, you put Batman back into your second character slot. Because he is the goddamn Batman, that reason kind of explains itself.
Character Slot 2: Batman
The Doctor. Because The Doctor.
You are also hurt and wanting revenge, these monsters will know your fury, and what is greater than the fury of a Timelord? Channel the Doctor
I also recommend channeling The Doctor. Because, more than ever before, you are going to NEED someone who is used to dealing with the supernatural and all-powerful.
Batsy cause ... cause... aw fuck don't have a reason
The Doctor can figure out anything through chaotic thought functions and unreal instincts, as well as worm his way out of any battle unharmed, well, nine times out of ten.
And finally, in your third character slot, you put The Doctor. It only just occurs to you now just how popular this combination of characters seems to be for you. You're not sure why, but it is.
You may not have The Doctor's intellect or know everything he knows, but you do have his quick thinking, problem solving skills, and his ability to deal with all kinds of otherworldly things, which you think is going to be a lot more useful given what just happened.
Also since you're not specific on which Doctor you're channeling, then by default you get the most recent Doctor, which has the combined memories and experiences of all of them, which is your best bet in any case you think.
Character Slot 3: The Doctor
Although, you've never been actually able to get these characters abilities in any way. Again, character channeling doesn't give you the character's powers or abilities (which is why you've never channeled the Dovakin), what it does is allow you to think and react to situations like they would for quick reference. However, with the recent addition of your Morgan Bloodline ability, from what you understand of it and how it works, it can make anything happen. So if you're channeling these specific characters and you have this ability.....
You'll have to experiment with this later when you get out of here.
OH RIGHT HOW COULD THAT HAVE SLIPPED YOUR MIND!!! ALL YOUR FRIENDS (well, pony friends) ARE HERE AND YOU'VE BEEN IGNORING THEM IN FAVOR OF DOING THIS!!!
Granted it needed to be done but STILL!!!!
But yeah, what you have now is.
Character slot 1: King Arthur
Character slot 2: Batman
Character slot 3: The Doctor
Special Ability: Morgan Bloodline
But yeah, all your pony friends are all standing there staring at you. You can't even imagine how worried they must be. You need to say something.
First off... see if you can say hey back to them, then check for signs of damage.
"Hey...." is all you can manage to say to them. Your voice comes out kind of weak, and it sounds a bit raspy. It only just occurs to you now just how god damned thirsty you are. When was the last time you had a drink of water.
The moment those words leave your mouth though, your eyes turn to Lyra as she sniffles a little bit. You then see a tear fall from her left eye, and at that, you see something break within her.
Without warning, she leaps forward, throws both her hooves around your neck and hugs you tight.
"OH THANK CELESTIA, THANK LUNA, THANK THE ELEMENTS OF HARMONY, THANK CAEDENCE, THANK EVERYTHING!" Lyra says as she squeezes your neck and cries into your shoulder. "I WAS SO INCREDIBLY WORRIED ABOUT YOU!!!!"
You want to respond, really you do, but you don't have the breath for it. Really, you don't. She's hugging you tight.
"LYRA!" Bon Bon shouts as she and one of the nurses pull Lyra off of you. Reluctantly, she lets go. "Take it easy. He just woke up, remember." Bon Bon says to her while the nurse just throws a stern look at her.
"Sorry," Lyra says as she sniffles again and wipes the tears from her eyes. When she pulls her hoof away, you don't think you've ever seen her smile as big as that. "I'm sorry Jason."
action : groan and ask in a tired state "does anyone have"-insert coughing fit- "water?"
"It's all right," you say when you get your voice back. Instinctively, your left hand goes to your neck, and it's at that point that you notice that your right shoulder, as well as most of your left arm is covered in bandages. Your ribs are covered in bandages as well and you can feel some on your legs too. There are also quite a bit running up your chest, and there are some here and there. Surprisingly though your left hand is perfectly all right. Oh, and you are still dying of thirst. "C-" You cough for a little bit before you can speak again. "Can I have some water?"
The moment those words leave your mouth, the nurse makes a move towards the door, but Rainbow Dash beats her to the punch.
"I'll get some," she says as she flies right out the door faster than you could have asked that question. After she's gone the nurse leaves too, presumably to get the doctor.
A few moments later, Rainbow Dash returns with a glass of water in her hooves, which she slowly hands to you as she lands back on the ground.
You don't even waste a second to say thanks before you grab it and start drinking it.
Ah, feels good...
Yeah, yeah it does feel good... You needed that.
You finish it within a moment.
"Please," you say, your voice still a little weak. "Can I have some more?" Rainbow Dash doesn't even wait for you to finish that sentence before she snags the cup from your hand and flies out of the room again.
A few moments later, she returns again, and again, you drink greedily.
PERSPECTIVE SHIFT:
Rarity
"IS HIS DICK OKAY!? IS HIS DICK OKAY!? IS HIS DICK OKAY!?" Echoed over and over again in the back of your mind.
Oh sure, you were worried as all Tartarus for Jason's well being, just as worried as all of your friends if not more. You'd be worried if any of your friends ended up like he did, but you couldn't help it. It's a curse you have to deal with.
With him (and all your friends) momentarily distracted by the water, you look down towards his crotch. With a quick application of your "dick check" spell. You see if it's okay.
It's one of the most practical and useful spells in your limited array of magic (you're not going to kid yourself, you're no Twilight Sparkle), it's helped you out quite a bit in your infinite quest for potential suitors. It works kind of like X-ray vision, only specific to just dicks. It's also the reason that you have yet another reason to NEVER have anything to do with Prince Blueblood ever again.
How you came to acquire the knowledge of his spell is well.... A lady has to have a few secrets now don't they?
But yes, one quick application of the dick check spell and.....
"YES!!!"
You scream out in the back of your head. Now that that's out of the way, onto more important matters.
PERSPECTIVE SHIFT:
Jason Morgan
You have woken up in pain after brushing within a nanometer of Death. Be the zombie you are and groan. For food. Meat. You need to eat. Flesh. Animal FLesh. Steak! BACON YOU NEED BACON! BACON STRIPS AND BACON STRIPS AND BACON STRIPS
Anyways, try to stand up.
There, you feel much better now. With that out of the way, you groan loudly a you try to move around and try to sit up a bit, though you find it difficult with all the bandages, so you just decide to lay there for now. Surprisingly though, you don't feel any pain. You either must have healed well already or the bandages are keeping your wounds so tight you can't feel anything. God, you could use some meat right now, and some bacon... You just woke up after almost meeting Death and saying "Hi, lets go," just a moment ago. You're kind of hungry.
You're not about to ask any of them for food though.
2 - Ask how long you were out.
"How long was I out?" you ask them after you groan loudly some more.
"Almost 24 hours," Bon Bon responds. Admittedly, she looks less worried now. Still, you've been out for a whole day?
Jason: Ask what happened and otherwise get caught up on events.
Verify your situation, and whatever else is going on from everyone around you.
"What happened?" you ask them next.
"Applebloom and her friends found yah in the Everfree Forest right after you passed out," Applejack answered as she put a hoof around Applebloom. You didn't even notice she was there at first. Now that you notice, Big Mac is also here too, he's standing at the back of the room. "They carried yah back to tha farm in that wagon of theirs and when we saw yah we got you here as quickly as we could." She paused for a second to look at Applebloom for a moment. "Yer lucky she found yah when she did. You were-" She stopped right there again for a moment. "You were-" the words seemed caught in her throat. It was almost as if she couldn't say them.
"What happened?" Rainbow Dash suddenly asked before Applejack could finish. "How did you get like that?"
"Yeah," Bon Bon said as she stepped a bit closer. "What in Equestria did this to you?"
"Was it a manticore?" Lyra suddenly asked, now more worried.
"Or a timberwolf?" Applebloom then asked.
"Or... a dragon?" Fluttershy followed. She seemed more worried than the others.
After that, they all followed with question after question ranging from what happened, to what attacked you, to if you are all right.
You.... you....
With those channels in place, you tell your friends exactly what is up. You tell them about the clown, about the hind, about your Great Grandfather, and you tell them that if he is here, then something much worse than that clown is here as well. Don't let the nurses or doctors tell them you are delirious or hallucinating (Though Pinkie believes you immediately), show them a simple force push in Latin.
8 - tell them that things are not going to be well for a while. The reasoning for telling them that is you were attacked by a freaking clown pony that was part demon. Also tell them you have super powers now.
You want to tell them what happened, you want to tell them everything, you really do, but you're not sure how they would take it. Would they even believe you? You're not even sure anyone much less talking ponies would believe you if you told them what happened. So what do you even say to them?
They all lean in a bit closer, as if waiting for you to speak.
Anyways, now that you have magical Latin powers, salveō mē (I heal me.) Then say, in this manner:
Your mind instantly flashes back to yesterday as you reply it all again in your mind. More specifically though, you play back the moment when your great-grandfather, who by all accounts should be dead by now, dropped down from the hind helicopter and said those words in Latin to you. 'Signantes vulnera. Ut et a vulneribus tuis sanabo SUO quasi numquam omnino.' you think it was. It sounded like it had something to do with healing.
The thought occurred to you to try and heal yourself, but you guess he did it already. You would probably have bled out a long time ago if it wasn't for that.
Still.....
How do you even begin to explain what happened to all of them? What do you tell them?
What do you do?
-Side Story-
The Previous Night
-Appaloosa-
Grey Rebl's Office at the AIA headquarters
Grey Rebl, had only seen the image of Slendermane for a split second. The appearance of the blue screen of death on his screen was quick, but recognition was quicker. He remembered it all too well. He leaned back on his chair, his usual playful demeanor replaced with a distant, dark coldness. The weight and presence on his neck suddenly amplified one thousand fold. If anyone were there, his coat seem to turn into a darker shade.
GR: So he knew for quite a awhile now. *Sigh* I hope it's still enough, though. If he is making his move now, that means that Harmony in Equestria is about to lose its meaning with a bang. I better get my flank move'in.
And to his utter irony, it's happening too soon.
(As it happens)
-The Everfree Forest-
Outside Zecora's Hut
-On the surface-
GF: Alright! Fine. I've been here before.
Bones: His heartrate just jumped. He's lying.
*Kirk ran foreward and picked GF up by the neck, pinnign him to a tree and forcing his phaser into GF's stomach*
Spock: Captain....
Kirk: Stow it, Spock. I'm going as far as I need to get the truth.
GF: ALRIGHT! FINE! Fuck the world and this dimension. If it collapses, oh well. I'm from another dimension. I am a theoretical physicist from 2013 (A/N Yes, I know Half-life was based in 1998, but I had top change the date to make it make sense) Earth history. I was working on trans dimensional teleportation, and an accident flung me into your universe. I thought it was a dream come true! You see, in my dimension, you guys were apart of an entertainment show called 'Star Trek' which followed the Enterpirse on it's five-year mission exploring the stars, completely fictional. IT was broadcast to millions, Gene Roddenberry's fictional dream of the future. I know of the Gorn, the Tribbles, the Klingons! I know it all! As for this place, it's another show on the television, meant for small children, but the perfect world it represented, I just fell in love with it! Friendship was literally magic here, It was wonderful! Anyway, when I joined starfleet I used my knowledge to eventually work my way to your crew, hell, I even saw you in a couple of my classes. You even beat Spock's unbeatable test! It was amazing! And then I saw, or rather, felt that there was danger, and I felt compelled to bring us here! I had some inkling of where it was and what it was, but I wasn't certain. It's like there's this voice in my head making me do things and please don't kill me!!! *the amazingly long dialogue was cut off with a large gasp and then some cholign sobs. It was rather shocking to see GF of all people crying*
Bones: The detector's not giving me any off readings. He's... He's tellinh the truth.
*Kirk keeps his phaser on Gordon Freebrony, who doesn't speak for a few moments. Bones takes a moment to pull out his heartrate monitor. After taking a deep breath though, Gordon Freebrony finally talks.*
Gordon Freebrony: All right! Fine. I've been here before.
McCoy: His heartrate jumped. He's lying.
*Kirk shoots a phaser blast through the fire that hits the ground right next to Gordon Freebrony. Gordon jumps a bit at that, McCoy remains speechless, but Spock doesn't.*
Spock: Captain-
Kirk: Stow it Spock. I'm going as far as I need to to get the truth.
GF: All right fine! *whispers this to himself* Fuck the world and this dimension. If it collapses, oh well. *stops whispering* I'm from another dimension. I am a theoretical physicist from 2013, earth history. I was working on trans-dimensional teleportation, and an accident flung me into your universe. I thought it was a dream come true. You see, in my dimension, you guys were a part of an television show called 'Star Trek' which followed your starship, The Enterprise, on it's five-year mission exploring the stars, completely fictional. IT was broadcast to millions, Gene Roddenberry's fictional dream of the future. I know of the Gorn, the Tribbles, the Klingons. I know it all. As for this place, it's another show meant for small children, but the perfect world it represented, I just fell in love with it. Friendship was literally magic here, It was wonderful. Anyway, when I joined starfleet I used my knowledge to eventually work my way to your crew, hell, I even saw you in a couple of my classes. You even beat Spock's unbeatable test. It was amazing. And then I saw, or rather, felt that there was danger, and I felt compelled to bring us here.
*There is silence between all of them for a few moments. To the shock of all of them, they actually see a tear run down Gordon's face.*
M: The detector's not giving me any off readings. He's... He's tellinh the truth.
S: How? How can we-
GF: Quantum theory states that all things are possible. When combined with the theory of multiple dimensions and universes, it is possible that a universe where Gene Roddenberry's vision of the future actually did happen. *laughs a bit for a moment.* Hell, you know this better than anyone. You all live in a universe where a ship full of Romulans and an older version of you (points to Spock) came back from the future and created an alternate timeline, and by extension, an alternate universe where that happened. By extension, think of the universe they came from, where that didn't happen. History happened a different way, and because of that, certain things happened different than what you know, and thus, an alternate universe. To take this even further, because I'm here, there's probably now an alternate universe where I didn't join starfleet and you all are continuing your five year mission in space without my interference. Do you want a full lecture on the theory of the multiverse and how it works or is that good enough for you?
*Kirk, Spock, and McCoy are all absolutely dumbstruck by what they just heard. None of them can believe it. In the window of her hut, Zecora is still watching them. She's no doubt heard everything.*
The Present
-Ponyville-
The Ponyville train station
*Braeburn and Little Strongheart step off of the train from Appaloosa and into the Ponyville station, upon which Braeburn takes a huge breathe of fresh air.*
Braeburn: *Takes a deep breath* Ah, you feel that Little Strongheart. That's Ponyville air.
*Little Strongheart giggles at that a bit*
B: Why, Ah reckon I haven't been here since the last Apple family reunion. Sure hasn't changed much.
Little Strongheart: So, what do we do now?
B: Well, first thing we gottta do Ah reckon, is go see mah cousin, Applejack. We can stay at her place while we do what we gotta do. Don't worry, she'll have room for us.
LS: All right... lead the way.
B: *extends his hoof* After you.
LS: Thank you.
*Braeburn and Little Strongheart walk out of the train station and into Ponyville proper.*
Time unspecific (only temporary)
-The Enterprise-
The Bridge
Scotty: What the hell is going on! Get me emergency power! Are the coms still available?
Uhura: No, Sir. Comms are dead.
Random Ensign: life support offline!
(the following is a list of random voices that I won't bother naming)
"Turbo lifts are down"
"Main and Auxiliary power completely offline."
"Orbit is still stable, assuming no change in velocity"
"My stations dead!"
Sulu: Navigation is completely dead sir.
Scotty: I KNOW! EVERYONE SHUT IT! *silence* Right, you take a team and get down to the auxiliary generator. You start a security scan of the whole ship, manually. Sulu, take command I'm going to engineering. Red alert, tell the crew you see.
*A series of "Aye, Sirs" Rang through the bridge while the indicated crewmembers and scotty rushed over to the emergency hatch near the turbolifts and started the long climb to the rest of the ship*
(As it happens. Only this first part though, the rest of what happens on the ship does not apply)
-The Dalek Flagship, The Caesar-
The Control Room
*I step in front of a huge chamber, filled to the brim with Daleks, and I have a sadistic grin on my Multiform face* Change in plans, lads! WE! MOVE! NOW! Nyarlathotep's detonated an atomic weapon on Equis! He wants a fight, and he's going to f*cking get one!
R.A.: .......Uh hackers what did that demonic pony do to our ships?
Hacker 1: He uh or she well... deactivated them.
R.A.: Oh... I'M GONNA BREAK HIS LEGS OFF AND STICK THEM ON HIS HEAD THEN I'LL USE HIM AS A PINATA THEN I'LL SET HIM ON FIRE AND THROW HIM OFF A CLIFF! *pulls out his nine iron and begins advancing slowly towards the computers* I'LL RIP HIM OUT OF THE GOD DAMN COMPUTER IF I MUST!
*suddenly a dart hits him in the neck and he collapses in a heap*
R.A.: HEY! WHY CAN'T I MOVE!
Hacker 2: *holding a blow dart* Don't worry its only temporary paralysis, but we can't have you breaking all the computers. We'll try and get them up and running as fast as we can.
R.A.: GOOD! ...Uh can someone scratch my nose it itches.
*Everyone stands there completely gobsmacked. None of them expected that. The room is completely dark and all the computers are offline. Not a single electronic device is working. Swimming Dalek, in his human form, his right eye starts twitching.*
Registered Anongmous: Uh...... guys.... what did that demonic pony do to our ships?
Hacker 1: Well, apparently he.... it. Deactivated them.
RA: All of them?
H1: Looks like it.
*SD's eye starts twitching even more.*
RA: Oh........ Oahhh...... I'M GONNA BREAK HIS LEGS OFF AND STICK THEM ON HIS HEAD THEN I'LL USE HIM AS A PINATA THEN I'LL SET HIM ON FIRE AND THROW HIM OFF A CLIFF! *pulls out his nine iron and begins advancing slowly towards the computers* I'LL RIP HIM OUT OF THE GOD DAMN COMPUTER IF I MUST!
*sudden poison dark comes of nowhere and hits RA in the neck. Upon which, he collapses to the floor instantly.*
RA: Why..... can't..... I.... move....?
*Hacker 2 steps forward holding a recently used blowgun*
Hacker 2: Don't worry its only temporary paralysis, but we can't have you breaking all the computers. Not right-
Swimming Dalek: *is f*cking pissed now* OH THAT IS IT! ANTARES!!!
Antares: Commander.
SD: Change in plans, lads! That son of a b*tch, Nyarlathotep's detonated an atomic weapon on Equis! He wants a fight, and he's going to f*cking get one! WE! MOVE! NOW!
*Second Dalek who was at one of the computers in the room comes up*
Computer Dalek: Commander, all systems are down. Our ship has been completely deactivated and we are floating adrift in space. As we are. We cannot deploy even if we wanted to.
SD: GRRRRRRRR!!!! Then get it fixed damn it! We're not gonna do any f*ckin good just sittin-
BRP: Dude, calm the fuck down.
SD: DON'T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN YOU PRICK! THAT MOTHERF*CKER JUST DEACTIVATED MY SHIPS! HE JUST CRIPPLED MY FLEET! MY ENTIRE DALEK ARMY IS-
BRP: Yeah, I know, I'm on one of your ships.
SD: WHO ARE YOU TO TALK ANYWAY! YOU JUST GOT HERE A LITTLE WHILE AGO! WE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WHO YOU WERE UNITL A FEW HOURS AGO!!!
RA: I think he's a pretty cool guy.
SD: SHUT UP, RA!
BRP: Dude, just calm, the f*ck, down. We're not gonna do anything if you're just going to stand there raving like a f*ckin psycho.
SD: *gets in BRP's face* What did you just call me?
BRP: You can still hear can't you?
SD: *hand slowly starts to move towards gun* You know... I bet-
*One of the hackers suddenly steps foward and shouts.*
Random Hacker: CAN WE PLEASE JUST ALL CALM! THE F*CK! DOWN!
*SD and BRP back away from each other slightly as the two of them, and all the hackers turn to face this guy.*
SD: Who the f*ck are you?
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Step 1: Ask Twilight and the others if they have movies in Equestria. If yes, go to 2. If no, go to 5.
Step 2: Ask if they have a movie called "It". If yes, go to 3. If no, go to 5.
Step 3: Determine if it has the same or similar plot to the one from your world. If yes, go to 4. If no, go to 5.
Step 4: Tell them you were attacked by Haypennywise the clown. Go to 6.
Step 5: Tell them you were attacked by a demonic pony clown that wanted to eat you. Go to 6.
Step 6: Say, "Videant quam vidi" (Let them see as I saw) to show them what you saw - all of it - when you were attacked. Go to 7.
Step 7: Ask for food. Go to 8.
Step 8: Eat food. Go to 7.
"Random hacker": *to SD* I'm Bronze Statue, thank you SO MUCH for asking. Now, if we could all just calm down, I'm sure we could fix the computers without killing each other. First, is there any sort of backup power so we can get anything back online? Once we have power, I think I might be able to get one ship enough control to land. Second, killing each other and flinging insults won't speed that up. Third, and this is kind of related to the first point, where are your engineers, SwimmingDalek? And fourth, where did RA put the cookie dough?
Response: I don't know how to explain it but I found I have a special power running in my Family Bloodline.
Not only that but this demonic clown pony tried to eat me! Don't believe me? Let me show you... I do warn you that this may be some ugly
images I'm about to show you all...
*lift up your Left arm and chant* "Ostendat illa quae vidi" (Show them what I saw) *replay the whole fight with Haypennywise to them*
Tell them straight up a demonic clown pony thing tried to eat you. It had morphing abilities turning into a giant spider monster. (They understand the concept of demons and such since Tartarus is basically hell and is a real physical place with a three headed guard dog)
Tell them that your Great Grandfather showed up, who was a hunter of these kinds of monsters in your world, and used his magic (Which you now posses) to save you.
Demonstrate said powers with a simple force push so that they believe you.
Then tell them that the monster Nyarlothep that Twilight was going on about is real, most likely in Equestria, and that he is worse than the clown.
Tell them they have to get word to Twilight and the Princess immediately because your inner Batman is telling you that shit is going to get even more intense than it already is.
"DEMON CLOWNS TRIED TO KILL ME!"
1. Jason - Ok, Ok, just give me a second to get things straight.
2. Take a moment to think about what to say.
3. Ask if they have legends of strange and evil creatures in equestria. (also while your at it, an image of both heypenywise and slendermane flashes in your mind. You have seen both, which by now you are pretty sure that you did indeed see him.)
4. Ask if they know the name pennywise and slenderman. (if not, explain what they looked like.)
5. Tell them that pennywise attacked you yesterday and pretty much beat you an inch from death, killed a manticore without even any difficulty, and was about to eat you.
6. Then, your previously believed dead grandfather came in a hind helicopter and handed pennywise's ass back to him.
7. You also learned about this thing called the morgan bloodline that your grandfather used to defeat pennywise, which you can now use. (say levitation in latin on the cup of water.)
8. You also saw rarity looking at your crotch and ask her about that.
9. say "summon black shades" in latin and put them on.
10. finally, cross you arms and say, "ya, I'm 20% more bad ass now."
11. KABOOOOOOOOM!!
*I turn into my true Multiform shape and curl around myself* Okay, calm down... breathe... Okay... I'm fine now. So, who are you?
Applejack? Not recognize honesty? Silly Jason. Just tell the truth and good things should happen.
Latin.
Tell them about what happened in short. Tell them that a magical clown... thing attacked you, with sharp teeth, and that it mentioned the return of Nylarthohep ((However it is spelled))
Also state that some technology which you believe to be from your world is flying around, and that if you say things in an old language, it will happen.
finally, say 'Summon Apple' in Latin, and then say 'Dance, Apple.'
3415575
Tell them that you were attacked by a clown.
Ask where your clothes are. The sudden thought of being alone with mares, naked and vulnerable, didn't sit well on your head. Those days may be over, but you've been traumatized.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
AIA HQ
*Grey Rebl trotted into the computer room.*
GR: Anypony got anything? I want connections to the Dalek ships online as soon as possible!
Lab Pony: None whatsoever. It's as if they shut down their entire systems. There's no way to get back online unless they do something about it.
GR: *grumbles* I knew he wouldn't let things easy. What about Nana?
LP: She's there, but she's ejected out of the ship's systems. We could get data from her, but there's much we could do without the ship's help.
GR: I see. Continue. I'll be on my way. *Leaves the room*
Engineer: Do see that serious look of his? He looks upset.
LP: This is first contact with aliens! Of course he would be upset! Only a few days into it and we already have a setback.
Engineer: I don't think that's the reason why...
*Dalek Fleet Ship*
NANA: *blinks In with her pony avatar* Ow... So that's how it feels to be forcefully ejected out. *sees a scene* Did I miss something?
*Ponyville*
*BB and SH enters the home of the Apple's*
BB: *peaks through door* Hello? Anypony home? *He hears snoring, and when Brauburn took a step in the floor creaks*
Granny Smith: *snooze bubble pops and rapidly blinks* Brauburn? *sees LS* and Miss Strongheart! What a surprise. Ah never heard you two are visiting!
LS: Hello, Granny Smith.
BB: Howdy! Doin' well out here? How are da apple orchards? Haven't heard much aside from da letters Ah generally get.
GS: Oh, who do you think we are? Amateurs? *laughs* We are doing just fine. The apples are ripe. Just in time for some of mah good ol' apple pie. You are free to have some later.
BB: Great! Cousin Big Mac and Applejack out on the fields?
GS: Nope.
BB: Wha?
GS: For whatever reason it is, the foals came to AJ shoutin' about somethin' and went out lickety-split. Big Mac went along with them, somethin' about the hospital.
BB and LS:*looks at each other, worried about what she said*
3416476 Well... let's check... Regulus (lead Scientist Dalek)! What about backup power?
Regulus: Backup power systems are accessible, but they cannot be accessed by any remote mechanisms, and must be manually activated.
Aldebaran (lead Strategist Dalek): Wait! If the Slenderpony is capable of breaching our systems, then it must be on-board the ship! It is waiting for us to go for the back-up power supply!
Me: Well, f*ck me in the keyhole... well, who else has any ideas?
RA: I WANNA SMASH HIM!
Me: Calm down. I want to get that guy as well, but don't forget... a Slender is the fusion of all the fear, pain, paranoia, and all the other negative crap coming from a single intelligent species. Unless you want to commit genocide on the Equestrians, he's literally immortal. And yes, there is a Slender-multiform, by the way. Just a second *I curl up and turn into human form again* there we go... now, I think I have an idea on how to keep a power supply in the meantime...
*later*
Bronze: Are you sure this is a good idea? *RA is on a giant hamster wheel with a steak dangling in front of him*
Me: Of course it is... I mean, look at him! I wish I could run that fast... but I'd have to turn into the Usain Bolt... and I don't have any DNA samples...
Bronze: ... what?
Me: I'm a Catalyse Multiform. We're a kind of 'better breed' of Multiform, since we don't need an active host to copy. All we need is just a DNA sample stored in our Squeedlyspooch.
Bronze: You so stole that from Invader Zim.
Me: No... THEY stole it from US. You know how Rob Hummel helped to write the episode of Invader Zim that showed the Squeedlyspooch?
Bronze: Yeah...
Me: Rob really had a TERRIBLE cold, and my distant cousin filled in for him.
Bronze: Woah... that's awesome.
Tell Twilight that a scary homicidal clown pony touched you in a place that made you feel uncomfortable.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sidestory:
3414571
R.A.: ...I'll have to agree with this guy on everything he says except for one small itsy bitsy detail... why do you want to know the location of my cookie dough?
*suddenly the atmosphere of the room becomes so thick you could cut it with a knife.*
R.A.: Because if you want some of my famous cookies that's one thing, but you handling my cookie DOUGH is another. *begins getting up with the darts effects wearing off* Cause if another man handles another man's cookie dough it could lead to some... 'complications' to your health if you will. *gets up close to Bronze Statue's face staring at him menacingly* So, why do you want to know the location of my cookie dough Bronze Statue? Hm?
*off to the corner*
Hacker 1: *whispers to Hacker 2* I can't believe his parents named him Bronze Statue of all things.
Hacker 2: Yeah at least our names are more... normal.
Explain everything in the most blunt way possible, and then gauge their reactions.
If they don't believe you, add evidence.
if they do believe you, move on like nothing happened
3417059*getting increasingly nervous* Um, uh... No real reason... Hey, is that a juicy piece of steak over there? *points to hamster wheel with steak from 3416982*
Look at Applejack with the most serious face possible and tell her in the most deadpan voice possible, that a shape-shifting spider/clown pony touched you in a no-no place. Then say "Weeeelll" As the Doctor would, "More like he tanned the hide off my back almost literally, then my dead grandpa came in a hind helicopter and saved me. Weelll... he's not so dead anymore, and he more of kicked the clownspider's ass, partially healed me, and gave me something very special. Knowledge."
When she says "Surely ya'll can't be serious," Tell her, "Of course I'm serious. And don't call me Shirley."
Then degrade into a coughing fit, and start moaning. And start muttering "Meat. I mean seriously? You guys don't eat meat? How dare you?! I love meat! I love meat in my mouth! I love the way it explodes with juice in my mouth. I really, really love meat and everything about it! I love meat all over me! I love to eat all kinds of meat, you know, white meat, dark meat, all kinds of meat. I love meat, why do you guys hate meat? JESUS! You stupid ponies, meat is good for you! It does the body good. Get it in you whatever way you can. Whatever way you get that meat in ya is ok with me.
-On the enterprise-
Scotty, in the engine room: Bring me the cortical screw wrench!
Random engineer: Aye, Sir.
*A few minutes pass*
Scotty, in a fit of rage: GGGRRRAAAAAGGH!! I JUS DONNA GET IT! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YE? *pants, while engineers eye him funny.
*Security officer walks in*
SO: SIR! We've got some bad news. We've only got twelve more hours of air left.
Scotty: Well than distribute the emergency masks then, ya idiot!
SO: Sir, that estimate included the masks, which we've already distributed to everyone we could. Yours is here, too, sir.
*Scotty pales*This is nea very good at all. Take that mask yourself. I'll be fine. You! Get to work on the auxiliary generator! I want her running five minutes ago. And you four! Get to Cargo Bay Three and see if you can't scrounge up some power boxes and hook 'em up to the air scrubbers. It should give us some more time.
SO: But sir-
Scotty: THAT'S AN ORDER!
SO: AYE, SIR!
*At that moment, Chekov runs through the open doorway*
Chekov: SIR! I found something!
Scotty: What is it?
Chekov: Well, sir, it's an old HAM radio I had been tinkering with. It should be able to send a signal to the rest of the fleet, perhaps even the Captain if we can boost the signal with the ships communications.
Scotty: That.... actually could work. Come with me, we'll need a powerbox and a bunch o'prayers.
-On the Surface-
Kirk: Well... ... I...
GF:Look, we know something is terribly wrong here. We need to focus on saving this world, then I'll tell you everythign about my research notes, how to travel dimensions, Hell, I'll throw in the schematics for a Quantum Displacement Cannon. I'm sure Scotty would get a kick out of that being attached to the Enterprise.
Kirk: Right. We'll focus on the mission. But you and I will have a nice long talk once this is over.
GF: So... can I have my suit and crowbar back? I'm pretty sure the perception filter will mask it's presence.
*Kirk considers for a moment, before nodding*
Kirk: Alright. I'll get them to send it down in a moment.
*flicks up communicator*
Kirk: Kirk to Enterprise, come in Enterprise. *Krrssccchhhttt* I repeat. Kirk to Enterprise. Enterprise, please respond. *Krrrsssccchhhttt*
The quartet look at eachother.
GF: That's not good.
Zecora: As is the fact that I trusted you so far... Now do please tell me what you meant by traveled the stars?
*the group whips around to reveal Zecora standing with a bamboo stick, held in a recognizably offensive stance*
3416982>>3417478
R.A.: MUST... GET... STEAK! *continues to run after the steak at an inhuman speed then points at Bronze Statue* IF... YOU... GO... ANYWHERE... NEAR... MY... COOKIE... DOUGH... I'LL... DESTROY YOU WITH A SHOEHORN!
Hacker #1: Hold on I got an idea. Say R.A. what is Slenderpony has already touched your cookie dough?
R.A.: ...........GRRRRRRAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! *begins running faster to the point that fire begins to erupt on the path of the mouse wheel*
Hacker #1: I think that worked too well.
3417791>>3417578>>3417478
Me: *lights turn on* YES! Now*I turn to some nearby Daleks* YOU, KEEP RA RUNNING! I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU DO, JUST MAKE SURE HE DOESN'T GET OFF THAT THING!
Daleks: WE OBEY!
Me: Regulus, get a portal to the Enterprise, start funneling power and energy in there! And get NANA back into the mainframe!
Regulus: I OBEY! Come along, NANA. You will be restored to your true form!
NANA: Why? I like this body...
Me: You're a bunch of data put into a smaller form than you're used to. If we don't put you back where you are, you'll have to delete important information to compensate for the lesser amount of memory space.
Antares (primary Supreme Dalek): What will you do, master?
Me: Me? *lips curl into a grin, and I turn into golden sand, jumping up into the ventilation shaft* I'm going hunting...
*Meanwhile, on the Enterprise*
Ensign: Well, this sucks on ice.
Scotty: You can say that again...
Ensign: ... Well, this sucks on ice.
Scotty: *glares*
*portal opens, and Daleks pull through, carrying cables*
Daleks: WE HAVE RESTORED OUR POWER, AND HAVE COME TO RESTORE POWER TO YOUR OWN SHUTTLE! Your air supply will mingle with our own with this portal being opened, and once your shuttle is capable of powering itself, we will leave!
Scotty: Well, what the devil's happening? Why did we all lose power?
Dalek: We suspect it to be due to Nyarlathotep, or because of Slenderpony!
Scotty: The who and the WHAT?
Dalek: Call all troops to any available viewing area. We shall broadcast al available knowledge of our enemies.
Scotty: ... comms are down. *lights and computers turn on* Well, there it is. *presses intercom* ALL PERSONNEL, TO THE DINING HALL! Our ship has air and power restored, and we will be briefed by Daleks in three minutes. I expect everyone there in THREE MINUTES. *turns off intercom* I hope to God you know what you're doing.
Dalek: Your 'God' is a false existence, not a very promising thing to hope to. A better thing to hope to would be your Captain.
Scotty: ... I'm about to have an argument about God with an alien pepper shaker... this is going in the logbook.
3418078
*At AIA HQ*
Random Engie: Hey... *taps Engineer* Check this is out.
Engineer: *looks* Good news! We're online again!
Lab Pony: Phew. That wasn't so bad. I thought they might've jumped to an alternative dimension because we're too boring for their tastes.
Engineer: I don't think that's possible, is it?
Lab Pony: They're aliens. The possiblities are endless!
Engineer: Well, anyway, we may be connected, but-
*Grey Rebl pops out of the door*
GR: Did I heard right? We're back online?
Engineer: Gah! Director, uh, sir, I thought you had business to attend to.
GR: It wasnt actually much. I only had a messenger help me ask all the Agents and Operatives to tighten up security a little. They were happy to comply.
*A pair of agents wizzed passed the door*
Agent 1: Ya heard the man! We need tah cover every doorway, room, corner, and vent! Including the bathrooms!
Agent 2: Ah hear ya pardner! With the security go'in up, ya think there's go'in to be action?
Agent 1: I bet we there is! Yeehaw!
Lab Pony: ...umm, sir, may I ask wh-
GR: Well! I'll be going back to my office and continue where we left off.
Lab Pony: But... Wait!
Engineer: He's gone. Too bad, because we never got to tell him the bad news.
*later*
GR: Okay, turn this on, click that, and wait for it... *He established connection, and was about to greet in jest until he noticed it's all static and omnious white noise. And then the familiar symbols of crossed circles appeared. He frowns* Now you're just mocking me. Typical.
Attempt to get up again.
Tell them what happened to the best of your ability. You're on a planet of magical colored ponies, I think they'll believe you.
Ask for food and eat! Its been over a day since you've eaten. You've gotta be starving.
Group hug. Hugs make everything better.
3417059Me: *to Hacker 1* You know, I really didn't mean to ask for his cookie dough. Well, I kinda did, but really, I could've asked for some of his cookies, or brought up anything at all. I just needed a fourth thing to point out since I only had three things to say, and three of anything is bad news. I suppose I'll have to tell RA that when he's done chasing that steak. Believe me when I say I don't want to go anywhere near RA's cookie dough until it is in cooked form. *shudders* We're already in danger from this Slenderpony. I don't need another undying rage focused on me.
3418680>>3419366
Antares: Our engines are back online! RA can quit chasing the steak!
NANA: well, you can get him down...
RA: MUST! HAVE! STEAK!
Antares: ... *turns to some random Drone Daleks* YOU! Get him down from there!
Daleks: ... We obey...
NANA: Okay, get us a firm connection with the AIA... I want them to know we're alright. Then, we start looking for Swimming... and Slenderpony...
*meanwhile, with me*
Me: *I slither around in my true form, hissing constantly* I know you're here... and I know all of your little tricks, Slender... tell me, why are you working with Nyarlathotep? He intends to destroy life on this planet, and we BOTH know what that means...
*Slenderpony tenses, but he's still hiding from me*
Me: What's the point of living off of a species' fear when there IS no more species? The Time Lords' Slender barely exists, plagued with illness, because the fear of only one of them is left... the Daleks' Slender... well, I actually have no fucking idea what happened to him, but I'm pretty sure he's not in the best condition... Come on... I know you Slenders aren't always team players... and when you are, it's to PROTECT your favored species... not commit a mass genocide... come on... it's okay... you can come out now...
*Slender slowly takes a step out of the shadows*
Me: It's okay... don't be shy... I'm your friend...
*Slender is startled upon hearing this, and stands still for a moment, before leaping to me, and hugging me tight, while occasionally shuddering*
Me: So, that's why... you were just lonely... and he said you could have friends among ponies after he came into power... he lied... *I momentarily tense, but remember he's holding on* it's okay now... I'm here... you will never be friendless again... *I curl around him, cuddling him tighter, comforting him for his lack of friends over the many, many years*
Jason: Tell them everything, try saying 'fus ro dah' in Latin, attempt to get up, in the distance you see a hind helicopter, and you're not sure, but you think you heard somebody scream "GIVE UP WHILW YOU CAN ROOKIE!!! YOU'LL NEVER BE LIKE ME!!!" You then mumble in Latin 'shove it solid snake you b******' then proceed to hear something, but you've not sure, along the lines of... "
………
"
You then ponder what the hell is wrong with your life and start crying like a man.
Sorry everyone. Been having a VERY bad week up until now (when my antidepressants started to kick in [sad that its true]) so i was waay too slow on this. Sadly enough though, my previous thing applies more now than it did then because it explains where the fuck I went during all of your stuff. Anyway.
Jason! You must do an inventory check and find out what you have! This will most likely not include pants and several other important articles of clothing. DO NOT LEAVE THE BED UNTIL THEY HAVE BEEN ACQUIRED! The cutie mark crusaders are only an inconvenient moment away and things would be too hard to explain.
3420176>>3419366>>3418680>>3417791>>3417578
BRP sitting in a different corner, looking at his wrist computer. HAI, where are you?
HAI inside his head.: In here and boy do you have alot of free space. I can stretch out quite a bit. What does this do?
BRP gets the intense taste of strawberry yogurt in his mouth.
BRP: 1. stop that. 2. How did you even get in here? 3. How are you going to get out?
Hacker 1 notices BRP sitting in the corner talking to himself. : I think that he's cracked up somehow.
Hacker 2 looks over.: Maybe. Wait. What if that thing got into his head?
Hacker 1: Your right. It could be turning him against us as he speaks!
Hacker 2: What do we do about it?
Hacker 1: Pour a bucket of water over his head?
Hacker 2: stab him in the leg with a cross?
Hacker 3: Garlic!
Hacker 4: Silver!
Hacker 5: Armadillos!
Hackers 1-4: What do armadillos work on, and where do we get them?
Hacker 5: EVERYTHING! and i smuggled one in when we got picked up. I kept it in your locker. Didn't you notice?
Hacker 1: My locker has a hole in it.
Meanwhile, in the corner.
BRP: So you got in here by downloading yourself through my eyes?
HAI: yes. Now i control the chemical impulses in your brain. I'm still getting used to it.
BRP smells lavender for some reason: No shit. So, how do we get you out?
HAI: we are going to need some brain-scanning gear for that.
BRP: TO THE MEDBAY!
Hackers 1-5: AFTER HIM!
SD: What are they doing?
BS (Bronze Statue) : I don't know. I don't think I want to know.
RA: I wanna go too!
SD: If you get off of that treadmill, the slenderpony will get your cookie dough!
3423080
Me: Don't get off the treadmill!
Antares: Master, the ship's engines have received the necessary boost to operate without Registered Anonymous' assistance!
Me: ... Give him the steak.