Cutie Mark Crusader Human Interrogators YAY!!!
Follow Applebloom into the treehouse and pretend nothing is wrong while wearing a bad poker face.
Get in. Act normal. NORMAL I TELL YOU. Leave the crayons in place when nobody is looking. Supervise them while they... do whatever they are going to do, but don't supervise too much or you might get tired. After all work is done, pick a nice quiet and peaceful place to sit, or stand if you feel like it. Then, stay still for... about 50 minutes. Maybe more, maybe less, you can never now. I am certain you can also do other useful stuff meanwhile, but being useless will be more efficient. In fact, being annoyingly still is guaranteed (HE LIED) the best method. You will most likely hear a sound after some time, and a random object will fall from the sky, or, in official terms, drop. Try to avoid it as to not hurt yourself. If it is a weapon, or a hat, or some of stupid useless crap (Hats. Who wants that?), just throw it in a bin or something, useless... HOWEVER! If it is a crate, keep it to open it with the key! Mysterious treasure awaits inside...
"Come on!" Applebloom says to you as she starts pulling on your pant leg with her teeth, which due to the vast differences of size and strength between the two of you, doesn't even budge you an inch. Though it does get the point across.
You suppose you were gonna have to deal with this eventually, though to be completely honest with yourself you never thought you'd see this treehouse again. You were just running in random directions when you found it the first time so you chalked it up to dumb luck.
Oh well, you're here now. So you might as well go in and just let whatever happens happen, just like you've been doing ever since you got to this pony populated place (you would say god forsaken but really it's not all that bad when the presence of an insane, purple unicorn is taken out of the picture). It's weird now that you think about it, a lot of strange things have happened since you got here. It's almost as if all your thoughts and directions are-------
AND the look that ghost Pinkie Pie is giving you is telling you that you should stop that train of thought immediately.
Well give back the crayons and apologize, you stole them like a week ago, why do you even need them anymore?
Also when meeting with Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo if they seem a bit apprehensive towards you, do the cookie behind the ear trick again, it helped Applebloom get comfortable with you so it should work again, even though you have absolutely no friggen Idea how you do it.
Go into the tree house. Meet with Sweetie and Scootaloo. If they recognize you, give back the crayons and apologize for taking them. If they don't, and are missing the crayons, give them back, stating that you found them. If they don't recognize you and the crayons don't come up, forget about them. Attempt to gently steer the Crusading towards something or somewhere relatively safe.
Give them back the crayons.
With that, you just start walking forward again toward the treehouse with an ever so eager Applebloom. You suppose you should just fess up and give them back the crayons you took when they inevitably ask you for them. Crayons which, in hind sight, why did you even take them? It's not like you had anything to write them on at the time, and you have that pen and paper set that you got the other day now, so why do you still have them? When you think about it like that, there really was no point in taking them, much less keeping them, which made that entire subplot with the crayons entirely pointless.
In the time it took you to think of all that, you make it over to the ramp that leads up to the clubhouse. You set the axes and the bag of supplies down by the front of it before you go up. Not like you're gonna need to bring them inside and you're all coming out again anyway. Plus, no one else is out here, so it's not like anyone is gonna take them.
"Come on," Applebloom says again as she races up the ramp ahead of you. You just follow at a steady pace. Naturally, Applebloom reaches the door before you, and when she does you hear voices coming from inside.
"Oh, there you are Applebloom," you hear a very squeaky, high pitch voice say to her.
"What took you so long to get here?" You hear another voice ask. Applebloom doesn't respond to either of those though as right as the second one finished that comment, you walk on in through the door to the treehouse behind her to come face to face with two more little fillies, one white, and one orange.
Both of them immediately stop whatever it was they were doing (which as far as you could tell was sitting quietly on the floor) and glued their eyes to you. As you walk into the tree house, your head almost bumps the ceiling since it's lower than you thought it was. Apparently this house was not designed with taller creatures in mind.
"Jason," Applebloom said as she broke the silence. "These are mah friends Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo."
"Hi," you say to them as politely as you can.
"He's comin crusadin with us!" Applebloom said with her same huge smile on her face. Neither Sweetie Belle no Scootaloo respond to either of you. The look they are giving you is pretty much the same one you would give if you saw a seven-foot-tall lizard walking around.... which is essentially the same look you saw most of these ponies giving you when you first arrived here and they saw a six foot (almost) monkey walking around. It was a look you'd gotten used to since you've been here. After all, if one of these ponies came to your world, you'd probably be doing the exact same thing.
It feels kind of different with them though, probably because they're children.
At first, the two of them just sit there and seem a bit apprehensive about saying anything, but after a few moments, they both get up and slowly walk over towards you. You just stand still and let them get close. They look you up and down for a moment, the same looks of "what am I looking at?" still glued to their faces. You don't do anything, lest you startle them. Applebloom just keeps standing next to you like she's a car model presenting something awesome, and Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo are the target audience. After a moment though, the WTF looks drop from both of their faces.
"I still say he looks more like a weasel," Scootaloo, the orange one says as she turns to Sweetie Belle.
"What?" is all you say to that.
Then, immediately after that, both Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo turn back to face you and start rapidly asking you questions just like Applebloom did. In fact, all the questions they are asking are the same ones Applebloom did... And not a one of them are about crayons.
"What kind of cutie mark do you have?" Sweetie Belle asked you.
"Is it something super awesome?" Scootaloo immediately followed.
"What are those things at the end of your hooves?"
"You're friggin huge, could you take on a minotaur?"
"What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?"
"African or European?" you say to that last one, which makes both Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo stop in their tracks and look at you like you just said "arglflargleblargle"
Also, ask Applebloom why she was asking so many strange questions.
"Why are you all asking me so many strange questions?" you discreetly ask Applebloom as you sit down.
After that initial moment of awkwardness, you spend some time sitting and talking with Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo, which mostly consists of them asking you questions and you answering them like with Applebloom, though for some of the ones that Applebloom asked you already, she jumped in before you could answer. You wish you had a camera when she told them you don't have a cutie mark, the looks on their faces were priceless.
After about thirty minutes of this, you all remember that you are supposed to go lumberjacking so you all start heading outside, with you almost hitting your head on the ceiling as you stand up.
Go into the tree house and clear up any other questions the CMC have, while discreetly returning the crayons... they were never gone.
Then inspect there weapons... er, tools and safety equipment before you go.
Oh, also tell Applebloom that the answer to life is 42.
Once all the crusaders leave the treehouse with enthusiasm, you take a moment to discretely take the crayons out of your pocket and put them on one of the tables. They were never gone.
*Item lost: Crayons
"Jason come on!" You hear Scootaloo yell at you from outside.
"Be right there!" You yell back as you get up and turn away from the table. Well, they never asked about the crayons so its not like they noticed they were gone, maybe they won't notice that they've suddenly come back. Plus, you still have your pen and paper anyway, so its not like you need them.
Jason: Go inside, and talk to the girls. Lay down some safety ground-rules for the lumberjacking expedition, like don't swing the axe too hard or it will fly off, and only one Crusader trying it at a time so they don't wind up accidently hitting each other with the axes, stuff like that... And wear helmets if you had thought of it. And goggles. If they have any. Oh, and ask Applebloom if she has a tree in mind... needs to be one that's mostly dead or decrepit.
You walk outside to find the three of them eagerly waiting for you at the bottom of the ramp. Once you get down there yourself, you stand in front of them, standing tall and proud.
"Right," you begin. "Since Applebloom's sister Applejack has entrusted me with watching over you three, and since we are going LUMBERJACKING of all things." You roll your eyes at that. This entire thing sounded stupid to you when you first heard it, and it still does. You look back at them real quick to see confused looks on all three of their faces. They're only kids, so even if it sounds ludicrous to you, they probably take it seriously. "I am going to lay down the official ground rules."
"Ahhh..." you hear the three of them chorus right as you say that.
"Why do adults have to ruin all the fun?" Scootaloo said as she directed her gaze away from you.
"To make sure you all don't get hurt," you say to her in response. "You don't want to get hurt do you?"
"Well.... no," Scootaloo replies. "But-"
"These axes are heavy, do you want to hit your fellow crusaders with them?" you say before Scootaloo can continue.
"No," Scootaloo replies.
"Do you want a tree to fall on you?" You ask her.
"No."
"Do you want to get your hooves chopped off?"
"No."
"I didn't think so," you say after that last question. Scootaloo just looks back at you defeated. "Right," you say again as you continue. "Rule number 1.) Only one crusader gets to swing the axe at a time, unless it's too heavy and you have to help each other out. Number 2.)," Now at this point, they're all listening to you. "Anyone or any pony that ISN'T swinging an axe has to stand well back."
"How far back?" Sweetie Belle asked, a little worried.
"As far back as I say is safe," you reply to her. "Number 3.) When the tree is coming down," even though you doubt you'll actually get to that part. "Get out of the way! Number 4.) While I'm not going to force you to wear protection, there are some helmets and goggles in this bag and if it seems like you are going to wind up hurting yourselves, then you are going to wear them."
"Awww...." they all chorus in defeat again. This time however, you are not deterred.
"Number 5.) And this one is the most important," you say. "Whatever I say, goes. You will do what I say, when I say it. If I say swing, you swing, if I say step back, you step back, and if I say jump, you say 'how high.' You will do what I say or else no more lumberjacking, is that clear?"
"Yes," the three of them respond back to you in chorus almost immediately. Still, you are not convinced.
"I said, is that clear?" you ask again.
"Yes!" They all say like they mean it. With that, you put your kindest smile back on as you pick up the axes and the supply bag. You know what's in it, you checked it before you left.
"All right, let's go lumberjacking," you say to them.
"YAY!" They all yell before they-
"CUTIE MARK CRUSADER LUMBERJACKS YAY!!!!!!"
You did not think that such a decibel level was possible for tiny little fillies, in fact you should have covered your ears. The only thing that stopped you from doing that was the fact that you were holding a bunch of heavy axes in one hand and a bag of supplies in the other. You almost fall over for a moment before you regain your composure, which you do rather quickly.
"Right," you say. "Applebloom."
"Yes!" She says eagerly as she steps out in front of the group and does a salute, for some reason. Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo laugh behind her as she does. You pretend to ignore them. "Do you have any idea where we should start, like is there a tree you have in mind for this?" At that, Applebloom puts her hoof to her chin. It takes a moment, but eventually the look on her face tells you she has something.
"Ah sure do!" She says with the level of enthusiasm only a child could muster.
"All right, lead the way," you tell her, and with that, she takes off into the orchard with Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo following close behind her. You follow shortly after.
Recognize the resemblance between Sweetie and Rarity, and ask if they are related.
"Hey, Sweetie Belle?" you say to her as you start walking, there's something about her that's been kind of bugging you since you first saw her.
"Yes," she says as she turns to look at you.
"You wouldn't happen to know Rarity by any chance would you?" you ask her.
"Rarity," she says with a smile. "Of course I do, she's my big sister." And now it suddenly makes sense to you. The colors of her coat and mane kind of tipped you off, but you weren't exactly sure.
Now that you think about it, you're starting to notice a pattern here. Applebloom is Applejack's younger sister, Sweetie Belle is Rarity's younger sister...
Notice that you have met nopony even closely resembling Scootaloo, and ask who her folks are.
and Scootaloo... Actually Scootaloo is kind of the odd one out here. You've never seen a pony that looks remotely similar to her since you've been here. Your first instinct is to say she's Rainbow Dash's younger sister, but you're not entirely sure that's true. You decide not to ask her now though, you'll do that later.
"Oh, and Applebloom," you say as you turn your attention over to her. She doesn't say anything as she turns to her to you. "Before I forget, the answer to the meaning of life is 42."
"42!" Applebloom says in amazement. You're kind of surprised at that response. You're not really sure if she got it.
"I always thought the meaning of life was an elephant bouncing on a trampoline." Sweetie Belle says out of nowhere. You, Applebloom, and Scootaloo stop dead in your tracks and turn to look at her the moment those words hit your ears. The looks you are giving her can best be summed up as 'What?'... "What?" she says to all of you as she apparently believes she said nothing weird at all.
You all just pretend to ignore whatever kind of argleblargleflargle she said and just keep on going.
And now you start to wonder, what sorts of things are going to happen on this lumberjacking trip with Applebloom and her friends. What sorts of things will happen.
What do you do?
-Meanwhile, in the Everfree Forest-
Kirk: "Set phasers to stun! Take it down!" he yelled as he whipped out his phaser.
Three concentrated beams of light spewed from McCoy's, Spock's and Kirk's phasers, hitting the creature in an impressive light show. Unforetuneatly, nothing happened.
Gordon: "My turn! AIAIAIAIAIAIAIAIAIAIAIAAIIAIAIAIAIAIAIAI!!!!" He raced towards the creature, crowbar raised, trying his best to beat the crap out of it.
unfortunately, the manticore was immune to his fear-inducing effects, batting away the suitless man, although the creature only saw a suitless pony.
Gordon: "Ow. You see, this is why I wanted my suit." He whined as he started coughing, a small trickle of blood coming forth from his mouth.
Kirk: "McCoy, look after Gordon. Spock, phasers on kill. Also-" *wham* Kirk landed near Gordon, the beast's paw having shot out while he was giving orders. McCoy hurried after his captain and crewmember, his doctor's bag at the ready. Spock, meanwhile, turned a nob on his phaser, taking careful aim at the creature.
Unknown: "WAAAAAIIIIITTTTT!!!!"
Spock stopped, as a butter yellow flying horse galloped forward, her pink mane flying out behind her.
Unknown: "Now I thought I told you not to attack ponies!" the pegasus said to the manticore, her stern scolding voice worse than whips to the poor manticore. It cowered away, trying to hid behind it's tail. "Now you apologize to these ponies and go!" The manticore whined, before turning to each of the away team in turn, whining out what must have been a manticore's apology.
Unkown:"Good. Now go!"
So bidden, the manticore left, running for all it's life's worth. Spock stepped up behind the pegasus.
Spock:"Greetings. As the highest ranking officer currently conscious, it is fallen to me to introduce our group. I am Spock. That is Dr. McCoy. That Is Gordon Freebrony. And that is Captain Kirk. "
The pegasus 'eeped' as if it had forgotten they were there, before mumbling out something incoherent.
Spock: "I'm sorry, could you repeat that."
Fluttershy: "I'm Fluttershy."
*Manticore charges at Kirk, Spock, McCoy, and Freebrony
Manticore: ROAR!!!!!
Kirk: SET PHASERS TO STUN! TAKE IT DOWN!!!
*Everyone but Gordon Freebrony whips out a phraser and shoots at it.
Manticore: ROAR- *thud!*
*Manticore goes down, unconscious. Silence reigns for a few moments.
McCoy: What the hell is that thing?
Gordon Freebrony: Manticore. *Everyone looks at him* Mythical creature back on earth, here it's real.
Kirk: Okay, I've had enough of this!
*Kirk walks over, grabs Freebrony by the colar and slams him into a nearby tree.
Spock: Captain.
K: *ignores Spock* Now, you're going to tells us everything you know. How you knew about this planet, those alien ships, and the things on it. Give me an answer or I swear to god I'll-
Zecora *out of f*cking nowhere* : I don't want to be rude, surely you are not trying to be crude.
-Meanwhile, on the bridge of the Dalek Flagship, the Caesar-
*At the Dalek ship, and because I'm a bit sleep deprived at this very moment I'm going to make this short*
Grey Rebl: Okay, there is nothing wrong with our communication, my video connection has suddenly turned green, and we have contact with another species. This a little too good to be true, don't you agree Nana?
Nana: Director, the chances of something lurking around the ship would be 99%, assuming peaceful diplomacy with the other species goes well.
GR: And that 1%?
Nana: ...R.A is actually not crazy and there really is something in the ship.
Hacker: I highly doubt it. I swear, he probably sneak meth into those cookies...
GR: Meth?
Hacker: A human thing you might not want to know about.
GR: Er, okay... Anyways, speaking of R.A, I was wondering: What's his story?
Hacker: He's an Anonymous; we'll never know for sure.
GR: You know, not seeing the big picture is a big pet peeve in equestrian agencies.
Hacker: Well deal with it, 'cause his hyperactive and unpredictable nature along with his short mental capacity is all what your going to get!
Dalek Regulus: All systems have been fully rebooted and are prepared for launch! We await your order, master SD!
Me: *takes a bite out of an apple* Raise all shields to full, make sure nothing can warp here unless it's the Enterprise's crew. And don't you think it's a bad idea for them to have the captain go down there on a foreign planet? Is this what they normally do? Huh, funny he isn't dead and most of his red-shirted mooks are... Whatever. Hey, R.A! Ready to get out of that cell now (since Razor didn't let him out the first time)?
Dalek Regulus: All systems have been fully rebooted and are prepared for launch. We await your order, Commander Swimming Dalek. (Is Master or Commander your rank? I'm not sure.).
Swimming Dalek: *takes a bite out of an apple* Raise all shields to full, make sure nothing can warp here unless it's the Enterprise's crew.
Regulus: I obey.
*screen comes on to open channel with the Appalosan Intelligence Agency (AIA)*
Grey Rebl: Okay, so there is nothing wrong with communication, my video connection has suddenly turned green, and we have achieved contact with another species. This is all a little too good to be true, don't you think Nana?
Nana: I agree, director. Everything is happening so fast I can hardly believe it.
GR: Still... Something just doesn't feel right.
Nana: Director, I have run a full diagnostic check of the ship. The chances of something lurking around the ship would be less than 1%, assuming peaceful diplomacy with the other species goes well. Additionally, the chances of something attempting to hack into the ship's mainframe is even smaller considering all of the advanced alien tech they have at their disposal. If something is here, we would have found it.
GR: What about the other 99%?
Nana: ... Registered Anonymous is not as crazy as we have been led to believe and there is something on this ship.
GR: Ah, Okay. Speaking of which, I've been wondering about R.A. What's his story?
Hacker: He's an anonymous, we'll never know for sure.
GR: You know, not seeing the big picture is a big pet peeve in equestrian agencies.
Hacker: Well, unfortunately you're gonna have to deal with it, 'cause his hyperactive and unpredictable nature along with his short mental capacity is all what your going to get.
SD: That reminds me. *walks over to the hacker* Why is he here anyway, how can he help us?
Hacker: Well... he has a very particular set of skills. Skills that could prove to be vital should we need them.
SD: What kind of skills?
-A short while later in the brig where R.A. is being held-
*Swimming Dalek walks up to the door*
SD: Hey, Registered Anonymous. Ready to get out of that cell now?
Registered Anonymous: YES!!! *Runs up to the door*
*SD pulls one of his guns on him right as he reaches it.
SD: If I let you out, you have to agree to something for me. It's nothing big, so don't worry.
RA: ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... Okay.
SD: I want to see what you are made of.
RA: Meaning....
*Swimming Dalek pulls the gun away, then opens the cell and gives Registered Anonymous back his golf club and Nokia armor.
SD: Follow me. You'll see what I mean in a minute.
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yay my comment was used
also they find the mirror pool and ghost pinkie tells jason the rhyme and chaos follows
Jason: Well you've set the ground rules and you've got a tree in mind so just keep an eye on the Crusaders and make sure they all stick together on the way to the tree. Once Applebloom takes you to the tree inspect it to see if it's up to your safety standards, and then let the Crusaders get to trying to be Lumberjacks. Let them try to do it themselves without really butting in as long as they stay within safety rules, and of course be ready to react if something goes wrong.
During Jason's exciting lumberjack trip he and the cutie mark crusaders will eventually run into a lumberjack's worse enemy! SAP!!!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*Meanwhile*
R.A.: *proceeds to take all his gear and re-equips it* Alright lead the way oh glorious host! But afterwards we should try making some cookies! Besides you look a bit tense and one way to resolve tenseness is by making cookies! Yum!
Hacker:... Just what the hell is up with this guy and cookies? Does he have a cookie fetish or something?!
When chopping on a tree to demonstrate to the girls how it's done, you accidentally hit the handle instead of the head against the trunk, sending painful vibrations into your hands.
Drop the axe and curse like a sailor.
Realize you just cursed in front of the equivalent of a bunch of little kids and start apologizing.
They may ask what certain words you said mean, so try to make them understand that they aren't to repeat those words ever, you don't want Applejack, Rarity, and whoever's responsible for Scootaloo to be pissed at you, or hell the whole town for that matter if they start saying those words at school.
Also, if you or the girls see any strange drawings or random red balloons, be cautious and stay on your guard.
To whomever had that comment in the A/N: My thought are this: Improve yo grammar, and I might accept you. That is my opinion. As for your ship and stuff, please no OPness (at least in this. I'm trying to make it semi-legit/balanced on my end), and make it realistic and congruent with whatever universe you are using. (and if you call out about me or the others being OP, first off I stopped and began taking it seriously, and the others... I have absolutely no jurisdiction, so it's entirely their choice.
_____________________________________
Jason, you must make sure to equip each pony with saftey gear first. Revise your rules now that you've met them. Otherwise, have fun!
_____________________________________
On the Enterprise
Scotti(over the comms to the bridge): I donno how their doin' it, but they're generating too much powa for a fleet that size. ye can't defy the laws of physics. OI YOU! Stop fumblin' with that injector and repair this computer terminal! Chekov, tell them tha' we can't last much longer. If I giv'er anymore, she'll blow.
Chekov: Attention Dalek Fleet, we are noticing an extreme increase in electromagnetic energy from your fleet. Be advised that this is affecting our systems and we will require a lowering of energy output of about... 1.21 gigawatts in order to maintain orbit.
Scotti(barely heard over the comms): AND tell 'em to hop to it if ye can!
Chekov: Message relayed, sir!
_______________________________
In the Everfree
Kirk: I'm sorry, ma'am, but this is an internal matter. NOW TELL ME EVERYTHING!
Gordon: Look, I'm not part of....
He stopped, looking over towards Zecora, before lowering his voice to a minimal so she couldn't hear.
Gordon: I'm not a part of your timeline. Hell, I don't know if I'm in the right dimension. If I am, they got it very accurate at home.
Kirk: What?
Gordon: Look, I'm fro ma secret government agency, stationed in New Mexico, where they were experimenting with inter-dimensional travel. It was in 1997 when an incident happened, which, to make a long story short, ended with me in Starfleet, eventually earning a place on your crew. As for how I know so much about this place, I'm pretty sure that if I said why, all of reality would fold in on itself, killing us all. In fact, I piloted us through a dimensional rift to get here anyway. Oh, and My suit and crowbar experience are from the government facility I worked in.
He was rewarded in his truth telling by a double-fist-punch to the face, causing Zecora to rush forward to help him. Gordon, for his part, merely ground out what almost sounded like a fanboy squeal, albeit muffled by his now-bloody nose.
Zecora: What could prompt you to be so cruel? And tread very lightly, take me not for a fool!
Kirk: Well, he was withholding information for our mission of... uhh... exploration in these woods.
Zecora stared blankly at him, before shaking her head.
Zecora: Now you dare try to lie around your tooth? Stop it now, I want the truth!
Kirk: uhhh....
___________________________
I see what you did there, author. Nicely played. nicely played.
___________________________
P.S.2749160
The Enterprise contacted you.
Me:By the way, I am actually a 725 year-old Multi-form born on Planet Xrosch. I happened to find a few Daleks a while back, and I promptly decided to make them be friendly by using my iPhone. Weird Wi-Fi incident, don't ask. And now I've told you all this, I shall reveal my true form.
images1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120102111818/tardis/images/3/31/Prisoner_Zero.jpg
Yeah, that's a picture of my cousin sticking out of a vent. He got into trouble a while back, weird political incident. But, yeah... that's me. I am a long-ass snake that can make myself look like other people. But since my Daleks have time travel, and I've gotten a good look at Earth, I've decided my common human form shall be...
upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/c/cd/Benedict_Cumberbatch_filming_Sherlock_cropped.jpg/170px-Benedict_Cumberbatch_filming_Sherlock_cropped.jpg
Benedict Cumberpatch during his portrayal of the fictional character Sherlock Holmes. One moment, please...
*turns into golden blob, and reforms as Sherlock Holmes*
That's better... Woah... hot damn, I love this voice! I think I'll enjoy myself like this... Well, then! Let's get R.A. ready for the little test... heh, heh.
Antares: I obey! All units on-board the Caesar, prepare for Registered Anonymous! He shall be released for SA's test! Enter Emergency Shift Positions!
All other Daleks: WE OBEY! ENTERING CONTAINMENT UNITS!
2748916
R.A.: Soooooo.... what's this test you are going to be giving me S.D.? ......Hey I just noticed something funny! If I put a T in-between your S and D initials for your name it actually spells out into S.T.-
Hacker: NO DON'T DO IT R.A. JUST LISTEN TO SWIMMING AND DO THE TEST AND NOTHING ELSE!
R.A.: ...........What? *puts on the most innocent face possible... even though he is wearing a mask and no one can see it*
Hacker: *face palms* Just-Just explain to R.A. what the test is if you would please Swimming. My sanity depends on it.
As you start to think about it you haven't taken a poop in a long time. "It's true"
2749065 Well, we'll have to wait until Razor decides it. Razor's an Equestrian, found him 12 months ago, been in contact ever since, he's the reason we found Risen Flag in the first place. He's the one giving me a heaping load of ideas to go off of. He's a writer, works in San Franciscolt. He's got the connections that'll allow us to know when we should launch. And frankly, I have no idea what the test is anyways. Would you like some water? It MUST get hot in that Nokia-based suit.
2749065 Wait, he's been trolling me... He's in Ponyville... and he's not a writer, he's... oh my... he's a psychopath. He burnt Fillydelphia to the ground to make a point to his flat-mate- OH DAMNIT! I'M USING 21st CENTURY BRITISH SLANG! Yeah... don't turn your back to him...
CHOP DAT TREE. Also, find Fluttershy hiding inside of the tree trunk.
________________________________________________________________
*Meanwhile, not far from Kirk in the Everfree Forest*
GF: Why-y-y-yy--yy? *Sobbing tears of blood*
Hive: YOU DO NOT DESERVE THE HIVE MIND.
GF: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-
*Eyes turn red*
*Ears start to bleed*
To Jason:
Suddenly behold an elephant bouncing on a trampoline!
Suddenly, Changelings attack!
Suddenly, pink elephants on parade!
Suddenly, discover that the canteen Applejack slipped into the bag for you to drink from actually contains hard cider.
Suddenly, Luna lands on your head.
Suddenly, weed.
Well, grab an axe, put on a helmet and maybe some goggles if you fell like it.
Time to get out there and chop some trees down!
Time to be a leader, regardles of the fact that they are just childeren!
Just don't lose your head, or anypony else's head while your at it...
NOW GET OUT THERE AND BE THE BEST DAMN LUMBERJACK EQUESTRIA HAS EVER SEEN!!!
Ha, ha, ha! It's good to be back! Which, is to say this story is as epic as ever!
In the event that they need help lumberjacking, help them with your pen.
[...]
What do you mean, "You cannot lumberjack with a pen"
[...]
Well, I don't know, it's HIS pen. He should know.
[...]
Oh, shut up.
*meanwhile on the Dalek ship orbiting Equestria) A random Dalek announces: I'm am detecting an unknown communication! Listening in now.
A screen showing a dark hooded figure in a chair with space in the background.
??????: The Time has come! hmhmhmhm.
-Connection to Dalek fleet (not the ones orbiting Equestria) complete-
*A Dalek appears on screen*
??????: Hello Daleks
Dalek: Identify yourself
??????: My name cannot be pronounced in any language except my own. But you can call me Somepony1.
Dalek: How you got this signal? EXPLAIN!? EXPLAIN!?
Somepony1: I have my resources. Which I'm not going to disclose right now.
Dalek: YOU WILL EXPLAIN TO US ON HOW YOU GOT DALEK SIGN?
Somepony1: I have information for you, important information.
Dalek: WHAT DOES THIS INFORMATION ENTAIL?
Somepony1 (smiles): Your friendly Daleks also know to you as the Traitors...
Dalek: YOU HAVE INFORMATION ON THE TRAITORS?
Somepony1: and the Doctor.
Dalek: THE DOCTOR!???
Somepony1: Yes.
Dalek: WHAT KIND OF INFORMATION DO YOU HAVE ON THE DOCTOR AND THE TRAITORS???
Somepony1: I know there locations.
Dalek: DISCLOSE THIS INFORMATION.
Somepony1: I can tell you that they're close to each other but if you want the location you have to listen to some demands.
Dalek:......... What are your demands?
Somepony1: I demand that only one Dalek ship is sent and if you find any other ship besides the friendly Daleks or The Doctors in the region under no circumstance are you to attack. Those ships are for me to destroy! Do you agree to these terms?
Dalek:..................................................... We.......... Agree your demands only one Dalek ship is sent and only attack the Traitors and the Doctor.
Somepony1: Good. I'm sending the coordinates now.
*coordinates to Equestria successfully sent*
Dalek: Prepare to travel to the coordinates sent to the Dalek ship and to EXTERMINATE THE TRAITORS AND THE DOCTOR.
Other Dalek: I OBAY.
Dalek: we will arrive in one or two chapters. Terminate this transmission.
*Link cuts off*
Somepony1: well you heard them friendly Daleks you have one or two chapters to prepare for this upcoming battle. hmhmhmhm hahahahaha HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH.
Somepony1 (chair turns around): now tell me my faithful henchman have you ever heard the term dancing with the dev- GOD DAMN IT! THERE NO ONE HERE. WHY IS THAT!? UM...
EVIL HENCHMAN WANTED!
Qualification: Being Evil (and a familiar and is ok with commenting as my henchman)
Job: Doing Evil things
Race: any (but Daleks)
Happen if you get fired: ([url=http: //youtu.be/YBOSwh-1PJI?t=45s]you failed me for the last time) or tried to betray me you will meet sharks with a laser... Ok I was informed we didn't have that but we are mutated Sea bass
Goal: To conquer the world
(Just send me a message if you are interested)
Computer: there were way too many puns in that ad...
Somepony1: I can't help it. It's in our races nature to make puns after all we are the PUN RACE.
Computer: geez Somepony1 what do you want to do tonight.
Somepony1: the same thing we do ever night computer, try to take over a world.
(yes I'm calling my last comment that you will use no matter what now)
Continue walking until you start to hear the sound of a certain helicopter.
Cutie Mark Crusaders: As per tradition, disturb the homes of mythological creatures entierely accidentally and force Jason to deal with the shenigans, getting covered in tree sap along the way.
Jason: At some point acquire a wrench, a handkerchief, a costume from the Elizabethan period, a live boa constrictor, and a pony by the name of Dinky Doo in the resulting confusion.
Rising Flag: The bowling balls are back but this time they're raining on you AND your allies! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! YOU WILL NOT ESCAPE THE WRATH OF TZEEN'TCH!
Twilight Sparkle: Wake up. In a compromising position. With Princess Celestia. And yes it's the real Celestia in the central timelinge not a daydream or a dream or anything.
Princess Celestia: Do something of import to the plot.
Princess Luna: Do something awesome that happens to be of import to the plot.
Princess Cadance: After having sex with your husband, end up in Ponyville with said husband and no idea how you got here.
Pinkie Pie: A storm's a coming. You best start handing out candy-based weaponry to all the minors in town!
Rainbow Dash: Be technically a minor. Be suitably embarrassed by this revelation.
Rarity: Well this all has been embarrassing, so you should probably consort with Fluttershy at the local spa on how to properly apologize to Jason.
Fluttershy: Secretly be in love with Rarity, and just about ready to confess.
Spa owners: Suddenly be assaulted by bowling balls.
Applejack: While working the farm you are approached by none other then the mayor! She just needs you to look over some legal paperwork regarding Sweet Apple Acres, nothing too important, but maybe we should discuss it over a drink?
Mayor: Be in your offics, frazzled as Hay and trying to make sense of the finances at the exact sme time Applejack is approached by the Mayor. Wait what?
Big Mac: Consort with Granny Smith, since you're both members of the Holy Order of Stability and can feel the tides. It might be time to bring out your magic sword at last. Also ensure you haven't been shunted to a side canon.
Spike: Do something awesome that is not relevant to the plot at all.
Trixie: You should probably reconsider your vocation. Yes the voices in your head are real Trixie. Don't worry, we're friends, but look, you just got assaulted by bowling balls. And you joined Rising Flag and his cabal. Surely there's a way out?
Vortigaunts: Appear in the Everfree forest. Comment on the situation. Do nothing else for five chapters.
Quarry Eels: Oh no wait, they've been brutally slaughtered, moving on.
Random Flower: ....why the heck are you even part of this story? Seriously? Science Woona explain this!
MEANHWHILE IN SPACE
The Orz Marines have entered their allies' various ships and are... assisting in the mechanical maintenance. Despite piloting around somewhat large mecha to get about, they can not only fit in the halls but also appear to be very good at taking orders and completing them and there doesn't seem to be any sort of sabotage at all. A few other Orz Marines appear to pick up the dead manticore, but when Zecoraq sees through their faceplate she bows in terror and won't rise until they've left.
"Many slides! *Sideways*, *Above*, *Below*, it is all playground! There will be much *dancing* and *Special Sauce* with the *Happy campers* and the *Cows*. We are waiting for the *dance* so we can help the *Silly Cows* into the *ranch*, but *rustlers* want them in their *ranch*. That is *Furgle*. This place *smells* so many colors!"
*In response to those who are clueless of Registered Anonymous, Gordon Freebrony, Swimming Dalek and I's cause of this sidestory*
We are an army meant to fight against Risen Flagg, not a bunch OC's running amok in a Space fleet. Anyways, if your from Equestria, contact your nearby Intelligence Agency so they could tell me. I will contact the army for your participation. If you're inter-dimensional and from space, contact SwimmingDalek or Gordon Freebrony. If you're some random guy with the tendency to do the weirdest things, chances are you're a friend of Registered Anonymous from Facebook. Yes, I'm setting logic into how these people could enter our campaign.
But since this comment is at the bottom of the comment section, this message may be heard at deaf ears. Damn.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*Back to the story*
Make sure what your cutting isn't red, dead looking tree. Those are Axe-breakers. They never get cut, but the axe breaks in turn.
Applebloom decides to tell a story:
Some say it is because there was once a pony who loved conifer trees so much, after a group of four lumberjacks were cutting down some trees, she was so mad she gained magical powers that turned them into trees. Honing these powers, she made the conifers immortal and uncuttable at the cost of here soul. Legends depict that her powers were not holy, but were the essence of the undead, expains the red and dead look.
After the pony's death, her corpse became a seed. Many years after the earth covered her decay, a conifer sprouted. She was the ugliest conifer ever. Sad that her herself and the trees around weren't as beautiful as a true conifer, she wanted her mistake to be gone, but the trees were immortal and can't be cut down.
To this day, ponies would hear the sobs of the pony from one of these trees.
...Despite Equestria being a extremely colorful, these foals have some pretty weird stories. And where are these creepy, dead trees? There is no such thing in sight. In the Everfree forest maybe?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nana: Director, the Daleks are performing a test on R.A. If you are interested, you could view it. The Hackers here and I can take it from here.
GR: Ah! Finally some bit of action. What is the test exactly?
Nana: No pony is sure yet, Director, except it involved all the daleks onboard the Caeser. Whatever it is, it is meant to analyze R.A's capabilities...
GR: I see... Nana, also send the video coordinates of whichever part of the ship they are partaking the test in to our big-glass-screened computer. Horse apples the ship is big... The lab ponies and operatives down here might be interested in R.A's development as well...
Nana: Yes, Sir.
GR (at the computer, mumbling with a serious face on the video chat): Great. *Click. clicklick* Oh, looks like he's pointing a metal stick at... Is that armor made of what I think it is...?
Hacker: For a pony, he's quite a pretty cool guy.
Nana: Yes, but he is also a hoof full to deal with. The lab ponies and a few others there seem to agree. The operatives on the other hoof...
*At headquarters*
Operative: Light the fusses, pardner~!
Lab-Pony: No! Don't put too much pressure on th– *BOOM*
Operative: Yooowee~ Cattlebuskits broke mah barn, I love mah job!
*Back at the ship*
Nana: Yeah... Since the Appaloosa Intelligence was established recently, It'll take some time to get the workers disciplined. Especially when most of them are cowponies and farmers...
Hacker: Whatever organization Equestria is running, I'm going to work there some day if it is that awesome!
Nana: Figures...
2748833
Nana: *As a being made up of magic and EM waves and part of the ship itself, she suddenly felt a wave of extreme pain* Argh!
Hacker: Nana, are you alright?!
Nana: *Blink, static* Does it look like– *static* –I'm alright?!
GR: What's goi- *White noise* on!? We're– *White noise* Losing connectio- *static*
Hacker: I don't know! Dude, what's on your radar!?
Hacker 2: Everything is looking fine to me– *white screen* What the?
Nana: Ugh. *Static* There's a voice message– *static* From the Enterprise!
Hacker: Relay it! Now!
*Hears Chekov's message from intercom with some bit of white noise .*
Hacker 3: You guys heard the man! Hop to it and find out what's wrong! Nana, can you make a scan at your current condition!
Nana: Y-yes. I'm fine now, just a sudden burst of potent EM waves is all...
GR (Connection: Red. Video Chat: Online. Communication: 57%): Now, Nana. Don– *White noise* –ush yourself. yo–*static* –might tear the magic enchantments that's keeping you alive in you apart if you do.
Hacker 2: Jeez, that's assuring...
Hacker: Contact the Antare Daleks! Quick!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Editing Complete. I think.
As your walking with the girls, you stop to notice something stuck to a nearby tree. It's a red balloon. You're curious why it's there, and ask Ghost Pinkie if she knows something, but she's clueless. As your, looking at it, you start to feel a bit scared, but you don't know why. However, before you can investigate further, you hear the girls calling you. You decided to drop what you're doing and follow them, and when you look back at the tree, the balloon has vanished.
Would like to jump in on the side story if possible. Only started reading the first fic a week ago and it seems too tame for me right now. Don't have an oc yet but I am working on that. Would like to liaison between the fleet and Luna (let's face it she watches the sky every night, she probably would notice you all). Point is, I would like to join in somehow and this seems like more fun.
Meanwhile in Canterlot
Princess Luna is looking through a telescope when she sees a glint of light, the same glint that one would get off of a metal ship as it moves back into the shadow of the moon through the sunlight. She turns to go speak to her sister and warn her.
"Please don't do that" a calm voice says.
"Who art though who could so rudely sneak up on me?" Luna demands of the night.
"A friend"
"I know the names of my friends"
"An ally then"
"How art thou my ally?"
"I am with those others up in the sky. Call me BRP. And trust me when I say that we mean you and the other normal beings of this world no harm. "
"And why shouldst I believe that?"
A figure steps forward. It is human, dressed in a black one piece combat suit with has a bow across its back, a quiver of arrows strapped to its hip and a pair of long knives resting in sheathes at the base of its spine. A helmet covers its head and a patch of its suit glows dully on the inside of its right wrist.
In a voice that is still deadly calm, the BRP simply replies "I have let you see me. And you aren't dead yet."
Please ignore the "the" in that last descriptive sentence. It was originally going to be "the figure" but then I changed it and forgot to remove it.
2751566>>2751558
You may or may not have read the Authors notes. Let me list a few things for you.
1) The Main story is top priority, so you have to a post a suggestion for the main character, Jason, first. This was mentioned several chapters ago.
2) The A/N of this chapter should summarize the participating of the side-story fairly well.
3) That last comment you made about editing isn't necessary. It's just editing.
4) A friend of mine who is the Secretary of the Canterlot Intelligence had the matter of your infiltration taken care of. Watch out for a midnight-colored unicorn with the name "Clustershine". Consider yourself invited since your presentation was interesting to me. Until you explain how you got into Equestria in the first place, though, your going to have a bit of a snag.
Hey Razor, can you please ask swimmingdalek98, Registered Anonymous, Gordon freebrony and greyrebl to check out my comment?
I love your work and will begin commenting on your stuff as the pace picks up but I would love to join in with the side story and am not sure they saw/will see my comment. If you could ask them to go through and look every so often, that would please me (and probably all others in the same situation) to no end. I only got caught up this morning so... Yeah. If you don't want to, could you please drop a comment on this page letting me know?
Thanks
-
2751747
Dude, I'm right here.
2751799
Personally, if he is ignoring you like that, I'd suggest not letting him join. If he wants to try again, I will suggest to him to get better at grammar, and to at least explain HOW he wants to do it. I think we should figure out some basic requirements for the side story (although I believe it is better with fewer people in it.)
2752383
Well, it is bothersome to deal with the uninformed... I suppose even good things can't pass if you don't have the basics nailed down
2749160>>2751799>>2752383
Strap in kids this is going to be a doosy of a comment.
Ok well my take on whether or not we should add more characters to the side story is this: To me adding a couple of more characters to the side story is ok so long as the people who are adding them are as dedicated as we are. I don't want to see new characters being added to the story just suddenly drop off the radar (not progressing the side story for their character) and suddenly reappearing after six to seven chapters without warning. Although this doesn't mean that we can have as many characters as we want cause that would just make things too damn confusing when we got 20 or so OCs running all over the place. Also when it comes to characters I tend to favor characters who enter the story that are somewhat relate-able. Take my character for instance he is apparently a great melee fighter, but at the same time he has the IQ level of a kumquat and is at times a doofus. Flaws tend to make characters appealing to the reader as well as their virtues that they carry and uphold. Now I maybe going a little overboard with my opinion in this comment but this comment is not only for you G.F., S.D. and G.R. to explain my view on new characters but this also goes out to any readers who bother coming this far down to read new comments popping up on the latest chapter of this story.
To all you readesr out there who are still reading this and are contemplating on whether or not you want to add a new character to the side story either put it in the comments or send a description about said character by message to me. The description should include what the character looks like, traits he or she has, where they come from, how they enter into the story (i.e. communicating through the dalek fleet and getting teleported onto one of the fleet ships), etc. Think of treating this as a job interview per se. If you think you are up for the task at hand go ahead and send me a message and if you are not up for it well I'll leave that up to you. Also to G.F., S.D., and G.R. if you think these terms of condition are sound enough or if you would like to add your own conditions or comments or anything that you find unappealing please reply back. I find that cooperation tends to lead to success and I can't do that alone here.
........My god this is the most serious comment I have ever made on this story as of yet..... I really got to stop doing that.
2752881 I agree wholeheartedly, stay stupid, my friend.
But in all honesty, I agree. We need to monitor the extras... I PROPOSE WE FORM A COUNCIL! ALL IN FAVOR, SAY YOUR FAVORITE KIND OF ICE CREAM! ALL AGAINST, SAY YOUR LEAST FAVORITE EPISODE OF MLP!
2752912
Chocolate!
2752912
Bacon Flavored Ice Cream! ..... What?
Have Appleloom show you a tree to cut down. Allow CMC to cut down a tree following all your safety guidelines.
I'm sorry greyrebl but I'm looking at the page on an iPad and it doesn't display new comments before I manually refresh the page. Thats why I missed your comment.
Happy that you brought that to my attention though, and kind of relieved.
As for commenting on the main story, it does feel a little slow right now and your side story is what's keeping me going.
Just let me know what elements of the side story that you guys don't want me to mess with. (Stick with mentioning the less obvious ones, I can work the other ones out for myself). I will probably check this a couple of times a day for the first while before I get into a rhythm. So if I start soon, I should be fine before school kicks up again.
It has been said that Trixie must find a way out of the shady organization that she has landed herself in. There is only one person who MUST do this.
That pony...
Is V
With his knives and V speech, V must rescue Trixie from her predicament with Risen Flag and his group.
2754622
Ok after looking over your character all that I can understand is that his main goal is to save/redeem Trixie from Risen's clutches and that's all it takes to make me sorta interested. But we will be needing a character description for V like for instance what are some of his flaws and virtues that he has, how did he get to equestria in the first place, what is his profession, what kind of being is he (for example is he an assassin cyborg ninja), etc. It will help us understand your character a little better and how we should interact with them.
Just send me a message containing this description and the others and me will discuss about your character more openly with each other. We'll try to get back to you ASAP. Also it has occurred to me that Grey Rebl has already extended an invitation to you so welcome to the team, but please do send the message with the description it will only help this side story even more.
2755161
I wasn't saying that I was going to be V. It was a suggestion for the main story plot. I was going to be in a different position.
Anyway description is here.
BRP
Description: Stealth based human fighter that tends to stick it alone. He is tall, wears matte black armor which is always silent and a helmet with a half face visor. It shows off a chiselled jaw with stubble from two days unshaved. Underneath the armor, he wears a black jumpsuit designed to absorb sounds and smells of the body.
Arrived: He was testing a new method of interstellar flight when his ship was impacted by a meteor storm. It was destroyed before entering orbit and he only survived by he managing to get into an escape pod. His pod was designed to break up in the cloud layer and drop the occupant with a parachute and a beacon. The beacon was broken as the pod shattered and he landed on Equestria alone, spending the next few days in contact with no one.
Joins group by picking up a transmission between Greyrebl at the AIA and Commander Swimming Dalek on the reformed Dalek ship the Caesar in orbit. He is currently hiding out in the everfree forest, awaiting orders and carving arrows.
Equipment:
Compound bow (Silent ranged killing method. Can’t penetrate armor without using special arrows.)
100 Carved wooden arrows (easily replaceable. But are fairly brittle and tend to break on removal.)
Special arrows (all irreplaceable without technology superior to that of Equestria):
5 explosive arrows( that do what they say on the box. Irretrievable)
10 armor piercing arrows (retrievable but can only be used so many times before breaking)
2 flare arrows (irretrievable fired into the air to illuminate an area or to cause a distraction)
15 tranquilizer arrows (a lighter shaft and tapered needle point that injects enough serum to bring down an elephant without serious injury. Can be retrieved and refilled using herbs from the everfree forest.)
Dual knives (silent melee killing method. In passive stealth mode, knife attacks ignore armor because BRP has time to find gaps and use them)
Wrist computer: a screen that allows him access to wireless communications, data storage space, topographical mapping by scanner (doesn’t detect life forms), an AI hacking program and Tetris.
Perks/Special abilities:
Soloist: significantly stealthier when working alone.
Delusions of grandeur: Believes he is invincible and gets into problems that are near insoluble.
Scout: Is used to moving and fighting in unfamiliar terrain.
Short attention span: Tends to revert to other pass times while bored such as watching the vast amounts of anime stored on his wrist computer.
Stealthy: Is infrequently detected by sensors, eyes, ears or smell.
Overspecialized: excels in stealth combat. However, a bow and knives are not really optimal weapons for overt fighting.
British accent: sounds very classy (Even though it is a Manchester accent as opposed to upper class). Increases his awesomeness to near endless bounds. (I actually have one. That’s why it’s added here).
Let me know if there is anything that you disapprove of.
"Hey, buddy." You look around and don't see anyone. "Down here." You look down, only to spot an Apple. "You wanna buy a watch?"
My word, it seems that you have stumbled upon a talking Apple!
Okay, I've been skipping over the Star Trek bits, and I have to ask: Do they possess any actual relevance to the original story to the point I should read them, or can I just ignore them?