BRP vs Swimming Dalek
His speed is his key asset, so eliminating that will help immensely. You'll have to wound one of his legs, in whatever form he takes, whether it be a rocket cheetah or a xenomorph. Keep trying to hit him in the leg with a regular arrow.
To BRP:
Oh crap baskets...
Ok, Swimming Dalek has the power to morph into whatever he wants, and you can never tell which form is he going to take, but perhaps if you taunt him with insults like: "Oh please, my 5 level magikarp does more damage than that with his Splash!!" he will morph into an actual magikarp so he can humilliate you, or turn into a gyarados which could be trouble....but still, you could see it coming, right? Just use the tactic that the Puss in boots used to defeat the Morphing Ogre in the fairy-tale and use it to your advantage.Although he is totally out of his mind, so it's possible that he won't give a crap about anything you have to say...soooooo shoot tranquilizers like there's no tomorrow, and don't hesitate to use all your other weapons if the situation requires it, it's not likely that you'll kill him THAT easily. And most important, always remember to DOOOOOOOOODGE!!!!!!
BRP: Oh shit, nothing is creepier than-
SD's mouth gapes open a foot showing row after row of needle like teeth. He crouches, his legs changing shape to increase the muscle density and the number of joints, perfect for a controlled launch in any direction. BRP loads and looses a standard arrow, attempting to nail one foot to the floor. A hole opens in the foot, letting the arrow pass cleanly through. SD jumps forwards, the power of his legs meaning that his speed is best measured in meters per second.
BRP: Bullshit!
He drops onto his back, as he is falling, SD flies over him. the world seems to go in slow motion as SD brings his legs into the crouch again and kicks BRP in the stomach. BRP's bow finds it's way between his squishy bits and the suddenly cloven feet of the insane multiform. The metal of the bow simply snaps under the force, absorbing enough of the shock to save BRP's life. SD rockets to the ceiling where he grips onto it with claws. and talons. BRP tosses the remains of his bow aside and pulls his two short swords. from their sheath. He spun as he jumped to his feet, eyes never leaving SD.
BRP: Hugh, compute and track movements, uploading pathing to my HUD.
Hugh: Sir!
SD launches himself at BRP, who rolls to his left. SD stops on the floor this time, growing a scythe-arm from a tyranid hormagaunt. He swings it laterally, blocked by BRP's left sword. BRP responds with a sword thrust to the belly, that still resembled a child only to have it harden into chitinous armor a second before the blade made contact. The force caused a crack in the armor that was instantly repaired. SD's head jerked forwards, his neck extending to allow the attack, his mouth wide, revealing the teeth. BRP ducked under it, turning. He wrapped his right arm around SD's neck and threw him over his shoulder in a judo ippon-seonagi throw, albeit slightly modified. SD allowed the flip, but his modified legs caught him as he was about to hit the ground. One leg flicked.
BS: DOOOOOOOODGE!!!!
BRP made no attempt to look around. Instead, he slid himself between SD's legs. His boot caught in a hole where a piece of deck plating had been ripped up and he used it as a lever to flip himself upright and then over, performing a front flip and throwing an arrow into SD's back as he was upside down. The deck plate that had been kicked up by the leg flick had ricocheted from the opposite wall and the ceiling before spinning down to where BRP had stood. Now it shot down and cleaved off the lower halves of SD's legs. SD shrieked in pain before leaping for the ceiling again, the arrow catching him a second before his leap.
BRP: BS, PUT THIS ON THE INTERCOM!!
BS: Why?
BRP: JUST DO IT!!! HUGH, JACK UP THE VOLUME!!
Hugh: was that really a pun on-
BRP: NO!!!!
Caramelldansen blasts through the speakers. SD, who had been handily trained by the internet reacted instantly, performing the dance on the ceiling. A pair of talons holding him in place dangling from the roof panels. A pair of arrows joined the talons in their task, followed by a further pair. BRP kept his eyes on the slowly recovering SD.
BRP: How are you doing over there?
BS: Oh, you know. A few hard bits, but no prosthetic arm attachment.
BRP runs over and cuts a plunger from one of the dalek corpses then throws it over to BS.
BRP: Hook that up to your computer.
Suddenly the music cuts out as one of BRP's arrows that had been through SD's foot lands on the music skip button. This music replaces it.
BRP: Shit.
He looks down and pulls out wires from the dalek corpse, yanking out strand after strand and glancing up frequently to check up on the status of SD. he has about four feet out when a glance reveals SD standing right over him, smiling pleasantly...with the crazy little girl face on. The scythe arm raises. BRP dives into SD, reaching up and grabbing the elbow of the arm and forcing it to SD's side before wrapping the wires around him tightly. As he trussed up the struggling monster he shouted over at BS.
BRP: ARE THERE ANY SCREENS FUNCTIONING?
BS: Yes, why?
BRP: HOW MANY?
BS: Five.
BRP: SCREEN 1:THE ASDF MOVIES!!!
SCREEN 2: *A claw reaches up and slides along BRP's breastplate leaving a deep groove.* SHERLOCK
SCREEN 3: V FOR VENDETTA
SCREEN 4: LABYRINTH
SCREEN 5: *BRP gets hurled across the room as SD throws him away.* FUCKING PICK SOMETHING!!!
"Oh shit!" BRP said to nobody in particular as the reality of the situation finally dawned on him. "Nothing's creepier than-" Before he could even finish that sentence, Swimming Dalek started to glow orange as his body began to change shape. Instinctively, with a speed almost too fast to see, BRP drew a single arrow and loaded it into his bow before firing it at Swimming Dalek. The orange glow died right as BRP let loose the arrow, and in Swimming Dalek's place stood some kind of giant, monstrous grasshopper like creature not much larger than a human with horns and sharp teeth. BRP's arrow hit Swimming Dalek right in his right jumping leg, but Swimming Dalek's insect like plating stopped the arrow dead in it's tracks as it it barely went an inch in.
"BULLSHI-!" Before BRP could even finish that word, Swimming Dalek let loose and jumped right for him with his enormous, toothy mouth open. Time slowed to a crawl for BRP as he dropped as Swimming Dalek flew right over him at a speed that could at best be measured in meters per second. Right before Swimming Dalek had passed right over him completely, he retracted his rear jumping legs, and with them kicked straight down at BRP and hit him right in the stomach. However, BRP in defense held up his bow, which found itself between himself and Swimming Dalek's larger than they should have normally been jumping legs. The metal bow snapped under the force of Swimming Dalek's kick, absorbing enough force from the impact to save BRP's life.
If he ever manages to take away your bow, improvise. There is plenty of dead Dalek junk, you can use their eye stalks as combat sticks, or a piece of their armor as a shield. He won't be nearly as fast, so you have a chance to beat him into submission.
Swimming Dalek then kept flying towards the wall and began to glow orange again. When the orange glow cleared, he had taken on the form of a xenomorph again and had grappled onto the wall with his claws. BRP quickly jumped back up to his feet and spun around, his eyes locked on Swimming Dalek. Without saying a word, he tossed the remains of his bow aside before pulling two short swords.
"Hugh, compute and track his movements. Upload the path to my HUD," he said to his hacking AI.
"Sir," Hugh responded right as Swimming Dalek launched himself right off of the wall right at BRP. BRP jumped and rolled to the left before Swimming Dalek could hit him. Swimming Dalek in turn, hit the ground and skidded to a half with his claws as he turned himself around, knocking away the remains of the lower half of a Dalek in the process. His body then began to glow orange again as he changed his form into that of a tyranid hormagaunt. He then screeched loudly at BRP before he laterally swung one of scythe like arms at him.
BRP blocked Swimming Dalek's tyranid blade with his left sword before swing his other one right at Swimming Dalek's face. Swimming Dalek just leaned his head back a bit, BRP's blade barely screeched his cheek. He then swung upwards with his other scythe arm, BRP jumped backwards to avoid it. At that, Swimming Dalek screeched again as he ran towards BRP and kept swinging his tyranid scythe blades. BRP narrowly managed to avoid Swimming Dalek's attacks, as he kept coming at him with a ferocity that was unheard of, especially from him.
Alright, time for my brilliant, never-before-thought-of commentary on what BRP should do. Prepare yourselves for this, because this is gonna blow you away...
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BRP... Don't get punched in the face.When you get the chance... punch HIM in the face!
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I'm a tactical genius.
Swimming Dalek swung his left scythe arm at BRP again. BRP barely managed to jump over it before it hit him and do an awesome flip in the process. Right as he landed, Swimming Dalek swung his other tyranid arm at him laterally again. BRP blocked it again with his left sword again. He then flipped the short sword in his other hand around and threw a punch right at Swimming Dalek's face. Swimming Dalek barely flinched as BRP's fist made contact with his tyranid face. BRP however, didn't bother to waste a second and swung his left sword right below his neck and cut Swimming Dalek right where his left shoulder would have been. Swimming Dalek let out a loud screech in pain as BRP jumped up and kicked Swimming Dalek in the face.
Swimming Dalek doubled back a bit and shook his head a bit before locking his gaze right on BRP. The only sound he made was a snarl.
"Bad idea," BRP said to himself as Swimming Dalek screeched at him again and rushed him. Swimming Dalek raised both his tyranid scythe blades at him and swung down vertically with both. BRP quickly ran forward and ducked under him and thrust his right sword in Swimming Dalek's belly. Swimming Dalek screeched in pain again as his body began to glow orange again. BRP had to shield his eyes from the light as he pulled his sword out. When it cleared, BRP looked and saw that he was sanding underneath a very different creature. He quickly looked back around only to see Swimming Dalek, face looking right at him, albeit upside down and attacked to a much longer, more flexible neck.
Swimming Dalek's face then opened up completely as it split into four quarters, showing row after row of sharp teeth as he shot his head forward right at BRP. BRP ducked under it and turned around, he then wrapped his right arm around Swimming Dalek's long neck and threw him over his shoulder in a slightly modified judo ippon-seonagi throw. Right as he did however, Swimming Dalek began to glow orange again, and when it cleared, his legs and feet hit the ground first as BRP finished his throw.
Swimming Dalek resembled some kind of large, hairless, green, ape like creature with what appeared to be serrated like blades on it's forearms, claws, and a lion's mane around it's head.
BS (the whole time completely ignoring the carnage of the battle): *prattling on sort of like The Doctor in "thinking out loud about other species' technology" mode or Twilight in lecture mode, while working on starting the generator back up* Thanks for covering for me, BRP. It shouldn't take me more than five minutes, tops. I could have it done faster, but the control interface is designed for a more hemispherical appendage than fingers. *pulls out notebook labeled "Extraterrestrial Tech #46: Daa-Dbt," jots some stuff down, and continues working on the generator* If I had my Fake Arm Prosthetic Dalek Plunger with me, it would go a bit quicker. That was a bear to program, let me tell you. Come to think of it, did I lock the door to my work shed before becoming one of RA's hackers? *stops working for a second to think about it* Yes. I'm sure of it. Also, while you're fighting him, I just wanted to remind you that he's a multiform so whatever you do, remember to -- *looks up for a moment and sees something hurtling towards BRP's head* DOOOOOOOODGE!!!!
Nana: *the entire time BS is saying the above, is trying to get a word in edgewise.*
"F*cking damnit this technology is fascinating," Bronze Statue said to himself as he got to work on restarting the ship's generator. At this point though, all he had done was flip a few switches and open a few access panels to get better access to the ship's wiring. "I wish a had time to-"
"FOCUS BRONZE!" Slim practically screamed into his intercom. "Do you see the control panel?"
"Of course," Bronze replied to her. "This shouldn't take more than five minutes, tops. I could do this faster, but the control interface is designed for a more of a hemispherical appendage than fingers."
"We know," Jim then said to him. "That's why we said you had to do this MANUALLY!"
"I get it," Bronze said to her. "If I had a Dalek plunger though I could probably-" His words were suddenly cut short by what could only be described a very deep, lion sounding roar. Instinctively, Bronze turned around and saw the creature that was in Swimming Dalek's headlock. It was MUCH larger than he was.
"Bronze, what's going on over there?" Slim asked him through the intercom. Bronze didn't answer her.
"DOOOOOOOOODGE!!!!!" Bronze yelled at BRP. BRP didn't even need to look at him. He quickly let go of the monstrosity he was holding, got low, and slid between it's legs. His boot then suddenly caught in a hole in the floor where a piece of the deck plating had been torn open as a result of the previous battle that happened in this room. BRP used this as a lever to flip himself over and while performing a front flip, he pulled an arrow out from his quiver and, while he was upside down, and regardless of the fact that he didn't have his bow anymore, the threw the arrow at Swimming Dalek and hit him in his back.
As he did that, the loose deck plate that had been kicked by BRP's flip was launched from it's place in the floor and ricocheted from the opposite wall to the ceiling, and then right back down to where BRP had just landed right back onto his feet as Swimming Dalek, ignoring the arrow in his back, turned around to face BRP. BRP looked from Swimming Dalek to the flying piece of metal that was flying towards him. Quickly, he spun around and kicked the flying metal piece before it hit him, sending it flying towards Swimming Dalek. The flying metal piece of the floor cleaved through Swimming Dalek's left foreleg like a saw, causing him to let out a loud growl in pain as he began to glow orange again. When it cleared, he had changed into a large, blue, bird like creature that looked more like the result of if a lizard had mated with a bird and flew straight up towards the ceiling.
Swimming Dalek hit the ceiling and gripped it with his talon like feet. Right as he did though, another arrow went through his left foot, and then another one through his right as BRP threw more arrows at him. The first two were then quickly followed by four more.
"Bronze!" BRP shoutedat Bronze Statue. "Put this on the intercom!"
"Why?" Bronze Statue asked, confused.
"JUST DO IT!" BRP shouted at him. "Hugh, Jack up the volume!"
"Was that really a pun on-" BRP's hacking AI, Hugh Jackman, tried to ask before BRP cut him off.
"NO!!!" BRP shouted at the top of his lungs as his wrist computer suddenly came on. Bronze Statue quickly messed with the intercom of the room a bit and turned it on, drawing a bit of power away from life support. Since they were both in Starfleet space exploration suits though, they had no reason to be worried about that, yet.
Suddenly, Caramelldansen blasted through the intercom of the room and into Swimming Dalek's ears. Swimming Dalek, a creature who had been partially raised by the internet, reacted instantly as he started performing the titular dance on the ceiling, although with large, lizard bird wings it was kind of hilarious.
[after putting Caramelldansen on]
BS: *once again mostly ignoring the battle* I would've gone with leek spin, personally, but I suppose this serves the same purpose.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*catches plunger arm midair*
BS: Thanks. *plugs arm into personal computer. 20 seconds later, it goes "ding!"* Yes! Now, I just have to hold it, and it should function perfectly for me. Instead of four more minutes, it should only be two! Wait... I can't actually hold it correctly...
BRP: JUST HURRY UP, ALREADY!
~~~~~~~~~~
[for the 5 screen scene, as BRP says each one, they turn on, courtesy of BS]
BRP: SCREEN 5: FUCKING PICK SOMETHING!!!
BS: Oh, god, what do I do? What do I do??? WHAT DOOOOOO--- I need to think of something, and fast! Come on, come on, come on!!! It's not fair, man!
BRP: GODDAMMIT, PICK A FUCKING VIDEO!!!
BS: FINE!!! HERE, HAVE THIS!!! It should hold him for a bit, but you really need to get a new weapon. I don't think stabbing him is working!
"I would've gone with leek spin, personally," Bronze Statue said. "But I suppose this serves the same purpose."
"How are you doing over there?" BRP asked him as he took a quick breather.
"Oh, you know," Bronze Statue said with a shrug. "A few hard bits, but no prosthetic arm attachment."
"Bronze, what's going on over there?" Jim asked him again in his communicator.
"Nothing," he replied. "We got this under control." As he said that, BRP walked over to a nearby Dalek corpse and cut off it's plunger, which he then threw to Bronze Statue. Unfortunately, as he was doing that, Swimming Dalek's dancing on the ceiling loosened one of the arrows in his feet, which after a few moments, came out, fell from the ceiling, and landed right on the music skip button on BRP's wrist computer right as he threw the Dalek plunger to Bronze Statue.
The music was then replaced instantly by the song Hammer Smashed Face by Cannibal Corpse, which admitted was a better fight song than Caramelldansen, but not nearly as useful right now.
"Shit," BRP said aloud as he realized what had just happened.
"Thanks," Bronze Statue replied as he caught it, then went back to his work on the generator. "Yes! Now, I just have to hold it, and it should function perfectly for me. Instead of four more minutes, it should only be two! Wait... I can't actually hold it correctly..."
"JUST HURRY UP ALREADY!!!" BRP shouted at Bronze Statue right as Swimming Dalek began to glow orange again and drop down right from the ceiling at BRP. BRP instinctively brought up his two short swords to block him, and he did. When the orange glow had cleared, Swimming Dalek had taken the form of Ryuko Matoi from Kill La Kill. Both BRP and Bronze Statue had to stop for a moment to look... and to contemplate just what the hell she was even wearing.
"Damn...." was all Bronze Statue could say. Before anyone could say anything else though, Swimming Dalek pulled his giant half of scissors blade away from BRP and swung it again. BRP blocked it with his right sword, then swung with his left, but Swimming Dalek leaned to the side a bit to avoid it, then swung again with his blade, which BRP again blocked. Swimming Dalek then swung again, and again, and again mercilessly.
Swimming Dalek then swung laterally again at BRP, who blocked it with his right sword before swinging with his left. Swimming Dalek however, didn't even move his other blade as he swatted BRP's other blade away with his hand, which made him bleed a little bit. Swimming Dalek then quickly pushed BRP's right sword away, then spun around and swung upwards right at BRP. BRP moved back a bit as he did, but Swimming Dalek's blade still managed to cut through his space suit and scratch the armor underneath all the way from his leg to his neck.
BRP leaned away again as Swimming Dalek swung horizontally at him again and then jumped back before he could make another move. He then then looked down at the cut in his suit, it was clean through. There wasn't a scratch on his armor though, but his suit was useless now. He then looked back up to see Swimming Dalek running up to him and swung upwards. BRP jumped back again and with some difficulty, he managed to tear his space suit off and throw it at Swimming Dalek and pull the respirator built into his suit down over his mouth.
Swimming Dalek swatted BRP's suit away, but right as he did, BRP charged at him, now clad in just the armor he always wore with him, and thrust his right sword at Swimming Dalek's face. Swimming Dalek moved his head to the left to dodge it, but BRP managed to cut his face just under his left eye. Swimming Dalek managed to spin around and back away from BRP before he did anything else. He then reached up and felt the blood on his face with his free hand.
"Well, I bet that's upsetting," BRP said to him.
"HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!" Swimming Dalek just laughed manically again as he raised his blade again and ran at BRP again, attacking even more mercilessly than before. BRP blocked every attack Swimming Dalek threw at him, but then, Swimming Dalek swung vertically again. BRP blocked his attack with both of his swords, but Swimming Dalek, with his blade being larger, forced BRP's blades to the side, then headbutted BRP, which caused him to double back a bit. Swimming Dalek then ran forward, jump up, and kicked BRP right in the chin in a way that the outfit his anime girl form was wearing could not have possibly allowed.
"Oh my..." Bronze Statue said to himself before he shook his head again and returned back to working on the generator.
BRP flew backwards a few feet before he landed on his back, next to another Dalek corpse.
"HAHAHAHAHA!!!!" BRP looked up to see Swimming Dalek had jumped into the air and was now coming back down on him. Instinctively, BRP rolled to the side just as Swimming Dalek's blade stuck into the ground where he was.
BRP then grabbed one of the loose wires from the Dalek corpse as he rolled back up onto his feet and kicked it away, making all of the wiring come out of it, or at least four feet of it, which was enough for BRP. Swimming Dalek just looked at him with a sort of sadistic smile on his anime girl face before he started laughing manically again.
Right as Swimming Dalek raised his arm, which held his blade, to attack, BRP leapt at Swimming Dalek, reached up and grabbed the elbow of his blade arm and forced it down it his side before wrapping the wires around him. He then took Swimming Dalek to the ground as the two of them wrestled there for a few moments as BRP kept trying relentlessly to restrain Swimming Dalek, which was weird since he looked like an anime girl right now, and he was really a guy, and he was tying her up right now.... BUT NOW WAS NOT THE TIME FOR THAT!!!
"Dude!" Bronze Statue screamed at BRP as he looked away from trying to make the Dalek plunger work for him at BRP. "We barely have artificial gravity as it is let along life support, even with your respirator you have at most-"
"I'll BE FINE!" BRP screamed at him. "ARE THERE ANY SCREENS FUNCTIONING!!!???"
"What screens!?" Bronze Statue shouted back. "There are no screens in this room!"
"Well shit," BRP said to himself as Swimming Dalek began to glow orange again.
If you have them, sedative arrows. On him it won't be fast acting so you'll have to wait him out till the drugs kick in and slow him down more.
BRP flies across the room and hits the opposite wall. His armor saves him, but his breath is knocked out anyway. Screen 5 comes on with a video of Derpy doing a cute little dance.
BRP: *coughs* what? Ok *cough*
SD is standing at the in the center of the room. BRP reaches into his quiver for a tranquilizer arrow. He draws it out as quickly as possible, starting his throw. SD doesn't wait for long enough, he jumps up again landing on the roof before turning into a gigantic spider shape and skittering over to the wall. another tranquilizer arrow is thrown, but dodged. Neither broke, but recovering them now might be dangerous. An idea comes to BRP's mind and he tips his quiver on to the floor, kicking the explosive arrows out of the door and the rest around the room. SD was changing shape again, growing a long snakelike body, but legs that made it look like an unsegmented centipede. The little girl face stayed, growing enormous pincers. He started crawling along the wall, a sound like rain on a tin roof filling the room. BRP tracks him, right blade raised. he tosses his left one to the side. Suddenly SD rears from the wall to lunge at him. BRP spins to the side and kicks, hitting SD in the chin and knocking the top half of his body towards the far wall. It hits hard, and SD remains stunned for a moment before growing a score of tentacles. They start to whip out at BRP as SD uses his centipede legs to continue to crawl around on the wall. BRP cuts off the first tentacle as it gets closer and spins again. He rolls, grabbing a normal arrow and stabbing it into another tentacle. A third tentacle wraps around his ankle and yanks him into his air. BRP grabs two tranquilizer arrows from the floor in his left hand and rams them into the tentacle.
Isn't Nana still in BRP's wrist watch? I'm probably missing something here but I don't see it. Nana is a support, so use her for whatever her Magical Intelligence is capable of. She's made of magic, and is sentient, the possibilities are in your favor. I'm giving two option paths just incase.
+For GS+
GS: *returns to mumbling science stuff as he works*
Nana: GS!
GS: Huh?
Nana: I have a synthetic mind processor attached that could help speed this up. It's made for artificial unicorn telekinesis. Just think about what you want to move.+For BRP+
Nana: I have a taser function integrated into me. However, it reduces my power supply, so your shots are limited before I die out. You've got 5 shots. Use them wisely.
BRP's hold on Swimming Dalek began to get progressively looser as Swimming Dalek's body started to grow. Suddenly, the wires holding him snapped as Swimming Dalek transformed back into his giant, green ape form, grabbed BRP with his right hand, and then threw him across the room. BRP flew across the room and hit the opposite wall from where Swimming Dalek was standing. His armor saved him from the impact, but his breath was still knocked out of him.
Swimming Dalek stood in middle of the room, just watching him. He wasn't moving towards him, he was just standing there. Off in the distance, Bronze Statue had gone back to working on the generator. Then Swimming Dalek started walking towards BRP, growling to himself as he did. Right as he was about half way to him though, what seemed like an electric shock came out from BRP's wrist computer and hit Swimming Dalek, which caused him to let out a loud roar and fall to his knees.
"What the-" BRP tired to say before he was interrupted.
"BRP," Nana said to him. "I have a taser function integrated into me."
"Thanks," BRP said to her.
"However," she continued. "It reduces my power supply, so your shots are limited before I die out. You've got 5 more shots. Use them wisely." At that, BRP got a serious look on his face as he pulled himself off of the wall and drew a tranquilizer arrow from his quiver. Swimming Dalek, seeing this, leapt away from him onto the wall opposite of Bronze Statue and glowed orange again. When he cleared, he had changed into some kind of humanoid spider.... were spider thing and started skittering all over the wall towards the roof.
"Then don't do that again," BRP said to Nana as he followed Swimming Dalek. "We need you to turn the ship back on, and I'm pretty sure Hugh doesn't want you going anywhere either." The moment he finished that sentence, he threw his tranq arrow, but Swimming Dalek managed to dodge it as he leapt from the wall straight to the ceiling.
"Wait, you're-" Hugh tried to say before BRP interrupted him again.
"NOT NOW!" BRP screamed. "Do you have anything else that's useful?"
"I might," Nana replied to him. Suddenly, an idea came to BRP's head as she said that. Quickly, he pulled out all of the explosive arrows he had and threw them towards the entrance of the room before dumping the contents of his quiver onto the floor and kicking the assorted arrows around the room. "Bronze Statue," Nana said as he did this.
"Huh?" Bronze said as he heard her in his intercom.
"I have a synthetic mind processor attached that could help speed up what you're doing," Nana said to him. "It's made for artificial unicorn telekinesis. Just think about what you want to move."
BS: Thank you Nana! Telekinesis, now there's something I'm gonna have to duplicate. I never have gotten my hands on a field gener--
Nana and BRP: FOCUS!!!
BS: Right! *begins magicking the Dalek arm to manipulate it* Nana, it'll be time for you to jumpstart the generator soon. *muttering* "just put the key into the ignition," indeed. * end muttering* If I had any way to get home, and if it weren't for the amazing alien technology here –seriously, a Dalek ship and exploding spiders! – I'd go home to my projects. *turns around and notices – reeeeallly notices – the battle.* ummm, huh. Well then. I guess the Nyan Nyan Dance didn't quite work.
BRP: NO SHIT!
BS: *calls out to BRP* Don't worry! I'll switch the 5th screen around until I find something that'll hold him still!!! Starting with this! Then, moving on to THIS!!!!
BRP: I don't think that's gonna work!
BS: Oh. *goes back to talking to himself about alien scienc-y things he's found and wants to find* --and a portable telekinesis field! I can eliminate one of the steps in adapting non-humanoid hardware for human use with something like that! Truly, the ponies have some ––– Wait. Portable Telekinesis allowed me to use the plunger arm just as effectively as the one I have back home. *looks at Dalek wreckage.* Maybe...
"Wait, seriously!?" Bronze Statue explained, not exactly believing her.
"Yes," Nana replied to him. "It'll only work as long as I'm in the room with you. Just think about what you want to move. I'll do the rest."
"Uh, okay," Bronze Statue replied to her as he lifted up the Dalek plunger from his hand and let it float in front of him in a white magical aura. He could barely hold his childlike glee in when he saw this. "Thank you Nana! Telekinesis, now there's something I'm gonna have to duplicate. I never have gotten my hands on a field gener-"
"FOCUS!" Both Nana and BRP shouted at him as BRP kicked the last arrow away from him. From the ceiling, Swimming Dalek looked down at him.
"Right!" Bronze Statue said as he began manipulating the Dalek plunger onto the control console, which lit up as it recognized the Dalek appendage. "GOT IT! Nana, it'll be time for you to jumpstart the generator soon." Bronze Statue said to her. "I'm just putting the key in the ignition," Bronze Statue muttered to himself. "If I had any way to get home, and if it weren't for the amazing alien technology here –seriously, a Dalek ship and exploding spiders! I'd go home to my projects."
"Bronze!" Bronze Statue heard another voice in his communicator, this one Steve's. "What the f*ck's going in there? It sounds like you're fighting some kind of bear."
"We got this under control!" Bronze Statue replied to him. "Don't worry about it!"
"Wait, that doesn't answer my-!" Steve tried to say before Bronze Statue shut off his communicator, but only for a moment so that he wouldn't have to hear him talk.
Back on the ceiling, Swimming Dalek began to glow orange again. BRP watched as his body grew longer, much longer. When the glow cleared, Swimming Dalek had taken on the form of some kind of giant millipede with extraordinarily large pincers. He then started crawling around the ceiling, the sound of what sounded like rain hitting a tin roof filled the room as he did. BRP watched him move, his right blade raised. He spun his left one around and put it away though.
Suddenly, Swimming Dalek reared from the ceiling and wall and lunged at BRP. BRP however, spun to the side before he could hit him and kicked him right in his chin and knocking the top half of his body towards the wall to his left. Swimming Dalek's head hit the wall hard. He was stunned for a moment before his whole body began to glow orange again. When it cleared, his body resembled some kind of green starfish like creature whose base wasn't much larger than BRP and had only a single eye in the middle of it, which was colored purple. What was important though, was that from the base of his body, were the sixteen tentacles coming off of his body, each of which was well over ten feet long.
"Well I know you've seen enough hentai to know where this is going," Hugh said to BRP as they saw this.
"What's hentai?" Nana couldn't help but ask.
"BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP!" BRP shouted at them before Swimming Dalek started to whip his tentacles out at BRP. BRP cut the first one one off as it got close to him and spun around again. Another one came for him though and he rolled under it, grabbing a normal arrow as he did, which he then stabbed into one of the other tentacles that was already coming for him. A fourth tentacle however, managed to get around his angle and pulled him up into the air. Before he could get off the ground though, BRP managed to grab two tranq arrows from the ground with his left hand and stab them both into the tentacle.
BS: Nana, manipulate those dalek drones with your telekinesis and give me targeting control over their weapons. Lower the power output to a non-lethal level. Then get SD's custom suit down here so we can seal it up.
Nana: Ok.
BRP: *flying across the room again* Ohhhh SHIIIIIIIIT!
He lands on the ceiling where a half dozen tentacles try to hold him in place. A slowly, the tentacles begin to weaken as the two tranquilizer arrows take a small effect and he is able to cut one of the tentacles. SD, being powered by insanity alone at this point was still vainly trying to change his main body while keeping his five remaining tentacles on the ceiling with BRP. BRP cuts another tentacle and the others are weak enough to allow him to fall. SD slowly moves his head under BRP and extends his mouth. A dalek drone slams into him from the side and knocks him over to the side.
BS: Nana, that wasn't the shoot button, what's the shoot button.
Nana: the one that looks like a horse shoe.
BS: you mean the U key?
Nana: I DON'T KNOW! OUR LETTERING SYSTEM IS A BIT DIFFERENT!
BS: NO IT ISN'T! I HAVE SEEN YOU'RE KEYBOARDS!
Nana: THEY LOOK NOTHING LIKE YOUR'S!
BS: THAT'S BECAUSE WE DON'T HAVE HOOVES!
BRP: He's immune to my tranquilizers now guys. could I have a hand please.
BRP is now standing with one leg on either side of a gaping maw with a long, snakelike tongue trying to wrap itself around one of his legs.
BRP: I know you guys are having fun and all, but this tongue is getting faster.
As he says that, he cuts off the tongue and another two tongues grow from SD's mouth to attack his other leg. He bends over and cuts one off. Two more grow.
BRP: *matter-of-factly* shit, so now he's a hydra. Could you send a drone outside to get one of my- He reaches down and grabs one of the tongues and, using it to hold himself firmly to SD, leans over and reaches down to grab one of his flare arrows. He pulls himself back up to find that the interior jaws of SD have begun to spin like a meat grinder.
BRP: what... the... fuck?
He primes the flare to it's 5 second delay and tosses it in to the mouth. It passes through the first sets of rotating jaws and goes off, burning it's way into SD's throat. A convulsion in SD's body send's BRP flying again and this time, he manages to backflip and catch himself on his feet on the opposite wall. Another mouth at the end of what looks like a badly burnt string of intestine shoots out of SD and gets cut on BRP's upraised sword, the force keeping him placed on the wall that he is currently standing on.
BRP: BS, strap yourself down and turn off the gravity in here.
BS: Why?
BRP: So I can have the same mobility as he does.
BS: ok.
He straps himself into his chair with some of the wiring from the dalek plunger attachment.
BS: disable the artificial gravity in the auxiliary generator room please Nana.
Nana: Emergency power diverted into the life support. Life support Now functioning at 15% capacity.
BS: wait what?
BRP is now standing on a wall and is forcing SD up from the floor. He throws the insane multiform into the ceiling.
BRP: Hugh, enable magnetic soles, zero gravity movement protocol.
Hugh: Sir.
BRP launches himself off of the wall and tackles the writhing body of SD in mid air, twisting both himself and the body to allow him to put his feet to the floor. A tentacle grows out of SD's side, a needle point at the end and jabs into BRP's leg. Self-sealant foam covers it and locks the tentacle in place, but not before some droplets of blood ooze out into the vacuum and start to float around. Painkillers start to pump into the area in minute doses, neutralizing the pain. Even so, BRP feels it and it weakens him for just a moment. Another tentacle stabs his other leg. Then BRP slams SD down onto the plating right in front of him. The two tentacles twist inside of him, forcing his legs to weaken further. The door to the auxiliary engine room bursts open to reveal SD's dalek shell. It is open and inviting for SD to jump inside. A recognized place of safety for him, SD dives inside of it and seals himself up in it before all control over the casing is removed by Nana. A sudden mad thrashing comes out of the dalekanium prison.
BS: Nana, please turn on the artificial gravity again.
Nana: Ok
BRP: NO, DON'T!
The gravity turns on and BRP, still standing on a wall drops, one of his legs breaking at the odd angle. This time, for the mercy of it, Hugh uses his suit's painkiller injectors to knock him out cold.
"OH SHIT!" BRP shouted as the tentacles threw him towards the ceiling, which drew the attention of Bronze Statue, who had just made it to yet another interface, if only but rewiring the computer a little bit. BRP then hit the ceiling where six tentacles came up to try and hold him in pace. However, the tranquilizer arrows that BRP stabbed Swimming Dalek with had started to take effect, as Swimming Dalek's hold with the tentacles on BRP had begun to grow progressively weaker. Swimming Dalek however, through pure insanity, managed to keep his hold on BRP, at least for a few more moments.
Once he was loose enough, BRP cut one of the tentacles holding him, and the rest, having been weakened by the tranquilizer, loosened their grip enough to allow him to fall. Just before he could reach the ground however, Swimming Dalek began to glow orange again as he moved directly under BRP. When the orange glow cleared, Swimming Dalek had taken on the form of some kind of giant toad. When he opened his mouth however, row after row of teeth presented themselves.
Quickly, BRP spread his two legs and put one foot against the edge of Swimming Dalek's massive maw, which upon closer inspection was larger than BRP was, and the other foot on the other edge of his maw, right against, and partially on top of, his top row of teeth. As he stood there, a long, snakelike tongue came up from somewhere within the depths of Swimming Dalek. Suddenly, without warning, the top half of a Dalek corpse slammed into him, engulfed in a white magic. Swimming Dalek however, didn't move, as he kept his feet planted firmly on the spot where he was. One of his eyes though, looked right at Bronze Statue, who had a very worried look on his face.
"Bad idea," Bronze Statue said to himself. Suddenly, with this distraction, BRP swung his sword and cut off the tongue that was holding him, causing Swimming Dalek to scream in pain. Relief however, was short as three more tongues came up from Swimming Dalek's mouth.
"Sh*t, so now he's a hydra," BRP said as he looked around the room. Close to him, he noticed one of his arrows, but it was too far from him, he couldn't reach it. Then he looked at the corpse of the Dalek that hit Swimming Dalek, then at Bronze Statue, who was looked back at him.
"Bronze!" BRP shouted at him as he pointed to the arrow. "Get me that arrow!" Bronze Statue didn't bother to ask any questions as he grabbed the arrow in question with Nana's magic, then threw it over to BRP, who caught it. Wasting no time as the three tongues wrapped around him and tried to pull him in, BRP primed the arrow and dropped it into Swimming Dalek's massive mouth.
The arrow, which had turned out to be a flare, burned the inside of Swimming Dalek's mouth as a convulsion through his body sent BRP flying again towards the opposite wall. However, BRP managed to backflip over and catch his feet on the wall, only to see Swimming Dalek quickly transform into a purple version of the starfish creature he had transformed into earlier, though with only four tentacles, and throw out a single tentacle towards him. BRP quickly held up his sword and cut it, but the force of the impact kept him placed on the wall he was currently standing on.
Not sure what to do for a moment, BRP looked at Swimming Dalek again, in place of the eye on his base body there was only a large mouth, though he seemed to be looking right back at him. Then he looked towards Bronze Statue, and got another idea.
"Bronze!" BRP shouted at him, and Bronze listened. "Can you turn off the artificial gravity from where you are!?"
"Maybe, why?" Bronze shouted back.
"So I can have the same mobility as he does!" Bronze Statue took a moment to think about that, but then he saw one of the other four tentacles staring to move towards him.
"Okay!" he shouted as he ran back to the console, and after some fiddling, turned off the artificial gravity.
"Emergency power diverted into the life support. Life support Now functioning at 15% capacity," the console said to him as he did this.
"Wait, what!?" Bronze Statue couldn't help but exclaim.
BRP on the other hand, now that he was free of gravity, forced Swimming Dalek off of the floor from the way he was being pinned to the wall and tossed Swimming Dalek up to the ceiling.
"Hugh, enable magnetic soles," BRP said to Hugh. "Zero gravity movement protocol."
"Sir," Hugh responded
At that, BRP launched himself off of the wall and tackled the writing body of Swimming Dalek in mid air. As they flew he twisted his body and his feet so that he landed on the opposite wall appropriately, as BRP landed on the wall with Swimming Dalek pinned under him, the magnetic soles of his boots keeping him in place.
However, one of Swimming Dalek's four tentacles moved up towards him, and from the tip, a three inch, stinger like thing came out of it and stabbed BRP in his right leg.
"AAAAGGHH!!!" BRP screamed as Swimming Dalek pulled the tentacle out. Some self sealant foam from his armor covered the wound quickly, but not before some droplets of blood floated out into the sans gravity environment they were now in. While that was happening, painkillers started to pump through the area in minute doses, neutralizing the pain. However, BRP could still feel himself weakening. Suddenly, one of Swimming Dalek's other tentacles stabbed him in the other leg. BRP screamed in pain again as he slammed Swimming Dalek's body into the wall below him, but he could still feel himself growing weaker.
Bronze Statue, seeing this, went back to the computer and started working the console again.
Suddenly, from the entrance to the room, BRP saw someone else move in and move towards the center of the room, but it wasn't a person, it was an empty Dalek shell. Swimming Dalek's personal Dalek shell. Sensing a familiar, safe, haven from all of this, Swimming Dalek's body began to glow orange again as he transformed into his snake like form and writhed his way from the wall to his personal Dalek shell. As soon as he was inside however, the Dalek shell closed on him, effectively locking him inside.
Right as the Dalek shell turned on however, several shots of electricity that seemed to come out of nowhere zap the shell. Suddenly, Swimming Dalek's Dalek shell looked as if there was electricity shooting through it, because there was.
Then, from the entrance, BRP noticed several Daleks enter the room, with Dalek Regulus leading the, and Dalek Aldebaran behind him followed by six more Dalek drones. Suddenly, without warning, the gravity in the room came back on, and BRP dropped from the wall to the floor, his leg breaking at an odd angle.
"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!" BRP screamed as Bronze Statue rushed out from the console towards him. Painkillers shot through BRP's suit again. This time however, Hugh, for the mercy of it, injected enough painkillers into him to knock him out cold as BRP's eyes slowly started to close.
Over with Swimming Dalek, his personal Dalek shell started to shake around a bit as all manner of screams, howls, growls, and shrieks could be heard from inside the shell. The eight Daleks surrounding him however, from their blasters, kept shooting what looked like concentrated blasts of electricity at him, keeping him still. Then, suddenly, from all of their plunger like appendages, light started coming from them, and the light grew around them until they were all connected in a circle. Then, the circle of light grew smaller as it closed around Swimming Dalek's personal shell and kept him still. Then, when that one was in place, the Dalek's created another one, and then another, and then another. After what seemed like twenty rings of light, Swimming Dalek's shell wasn't budging an inch, even with the screams inside.
"The Commander is secured," Dalek Regulus said to the others. "Transport him to the designated sick bay."
"We obey!" the other Daleks said as they, using some form of magnetism, carried Swimming Dalek's shell with him inside out of the room with Dalek Aldebaran leading them, leaving only Dalek Reulus behind.
"What the f*ck was that about!?" Bronze Statue asked as he walked over to them.
"Special containment protocol," Dalek Regulus replied as he turned to face him. "In the event of our commander experiencing what you humans would call insanity, dementia, or any illness which would turn him hostile, he is to be detained and move to a special Dalek cell where he may experience recovery."
"Has this ever happened before?" Bronze Statue couldn't help but ask.
"No," Dalek Regulus replied.
"But you had a plan anyway just in case it did happen?" Bronze Statue asked, slightly confused.
"I am this legions lead strategist Dalek," Dalek Regulus said to him. "It is my duty to plan and prepare for any scenario, regardless of how impossible it may seem."
"So...." Bronze Statue said. "You have plans for everything."
"Yes," Regulus replied.
"Do you have a plan for if you go crazy?" Bronze Statue asked. Regulus didn't say anything to him at that. He just kept staring at him. This silent staring context between them lasted for only few moments before they were interrupted.
"Bronze Statue!" Hugh Jackman said in Bronze Statue's com out of nowhere.
"Hugh!?" Bronze Statue exclaimed as he turned back around and ran over to BRP's sleeping form. Surely enough, his wrist communicator was still on. "You're still online!?"
"Of course I'm still online," Hugh replied to him. "Why wouldn't I be?"
"Uhhhhhhhhhhh.........." Bronze Statue said, but Nana cut him off.
"Look, regardless of our functionality," Nana said to him. "There is still the matter at hand." At that, Bronze Statue looked from BRP's wrist computer back to the console that he left, then back to the wrist computer, then back to the console. She was right. He still had a ship to activate after all.
-On the bridge of the Starship Enterprise-
"Damnit, Bronze come in!" Jim screamed into the mic again, but again got no response.
"Are they dead?" Tommy asked, worried as he ran up to the console with her.
"Doesn't look like it," Ramirez said as he didn't take his eyes away from his screen. "Scans are still showing humanoid life forms aboard the ship but-" At that, before he could even finish his sentence, from where they all were, outside of the Dalek Flagship, The Caesar, they saw something. It was small at first, just a couple lights, but then, it's engines started to roar, and soon the entire ship whirred to life with it's former glory.
"They did it...." Slim said as she stood up from her console. "Those stupid sons of b*tches did it!"
"WHOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!" Tommy, Doc, The Janitor, Registered Anonymous all shouted with joy as the ship came online.
"YES!!!" Tommy said with a fist pump.
"Very much yes!" Registered Anonymous joined him. "This calls for COOKIES FOR EVERYONE!!!!!" That caused everyone to cheer even more, even some of the Enterprise crew. "Yes, there will be some for you all as well." Registered Anonymous said to Sulu, who just rolled his eyes.
Then, suddenly, from the middle of the room. Something happened. It happened quick, and it happened fast, but it made everybody stop. Jim had stood up, literally leapt from her chair, glomped Slim, threw her arms around her, and planted her lips onto her's as they started making out. Yes, Slim and Jim, the only two female hackers of the group, were making out with each other.
"Hey, uh Tom," Calvin said to Tommy.
"Yeah," Tommy replied to him.
"Is it weird that.... this makes me feel incredibly disappointed..... like, the most disappointed that you could-"
"Oh just shut your hopeless, nerd like trap and deal with it," Registered Anonymous suddenly said as he appeared out of nowhere next to them.
"Wait," The Janitor said to him. "You knew about this?"
"Of course," Registered Anonymous replied to them in a voice that almost sounded like Bane's. "What, you didn't?" At that, the three of them looked away from him, feeling..... a little bit like idiots.
"So...." Jim finally said to Slim after she pulled her mouth off of hers. "Whadoya say we find somewhere a little bit.... more private."
"Do you even need to-" Slim was about to respond before something else caught their attention.
"Hey uh, guys," Bronze Statue's voice suddenly said from the intercom. Unfortunately, Steve got to it before any of the others could respond.
"Bronze you son of a b*tch where were you!?" he practically shouted at him, which made every one else's eyes roll.
"Busy," Bronze Statue replied.
"Busy!" Steve yelled. "What do you mean-"
"Look, as touched as I am to know that you do care about me," Bronze Statue said, interrupting him. "We would appreciate it if you could.... I don't know, pick us up."
"Roger," Sulu said as he took the coms from Steve before turning to the rest of the crew. "Beam them back to the ship. Now." At that, the rest of the crew of the Enterprise got back to work.
-The transporter room, a few minutes later-
Sulu, Chekov, Steve, Registered Anonymous and a few of the other hackers all walked into the room as both Bronze Statue and BRP materialized out of the transporters. Almost as soon as he appeared though, BRP fell to the floor.
"Holy f*ckity sh*t!" Steve shouted as he ran over to him, but was pushed aside by Sulu and Registered Anonymous.
"What happened?" Sulu asked.
"It's kind of a long story," Bronze Statue said. "Right now though, we need to get him to a med bay, NOW!!!!"
"I GOT HIM!" Registered Anonymous shouted sounding... for the first time that everyone there had heard it, worried as hell, as he ran over, and took BRP from Bronze Statue. Miraculously enough, he was able to lift him, his armor, and everything else on him by himself.
"Contact Nurse Chapel, get her to the med bay immediately," Sulu said with authority to one of the other crew members at one of the stations in the transporter room.
"Aye sir," he responded before getting to it.
"Lead the way," Registered Anonymous said, again, worried as hell, as they all rushed out of the room towards the med bay with Registered Anonymous carrying BRP.
Outside of the Enterprise, the Dalek Flagship, The Caesar was flying proudly again. It's furnace lit and roaring like it was meant to again.
Was gonna write a comment in one tone, but then reread it and I sounded like a prick. Then I wrote this one. Good night.
3894652 And you stole what this comment was going to say.
Well, that escalated quickly. Doesn't the Enterprise have Saiyan Regenative Tanks? Feel regenerated for the cheap price of many alien tears healing you.
That… was interesting. 3894652 To be honest, I gave Razor absolutely NO direction whatsoever in guiding the fight. We just went with whatever comments appeared, and I became a matching form. Why? Simple: Dalek time travel means SD (the character, of course) can see species that are long dead, still living, or have yet TO exist, and obtain samples. Needless to say, if Regulus didn't come in, you would've been f*cked. I have a space whale in my arsenal. You did good, friend.
Onto the main story, JASON! You hear the sound of a sheep in the distance. That is all.
3897217 But do you have Malchiorian Mahogany trees?
3897956 Those are plants. Their DNA is too different for SD's breed of multiform to obtain and safely utilize, and regular multiforms can't feed off of any psychic implants from plants, unless we're talking about the walking, talking plant people, then maybe it's a possibility, otherwise, NO.
3898156 Well, they're 300 feet tall, so probably don't walk. Then again, they DO breathe fire, so they might actually be able to talk.
3898237 Or they just have openings that unleash chemicals that burst into flame upon contact with oxygen, hence 'breathing fire'. Wow, we're taking this too seriously, aren't we?
3898248 no, a hypothetical debate upon the biological abilities of a theoretical plant is a perfectly plausible thing to take seriously.
Who knows, it may be part of the side story later
*a little voice in my head that represents Razor*:not likely.
3898974 Only if we go to Malchior 7
3899082 3898974 *meanwhile, on Malchior 7*
Malchiorians are performing another blood ritual to make a special desk, when one of them sneezes
Malchiorian: Bless you. You sick or something, Prophet?
Malchiorian Prophet: No, child… but I have the feeling our future is to be filled with great terror… and… cookie dough...
3898237 3898248 3898974
I'M BACK, BITCHES! DIDJA MISS ME KIDDIES?
LOL
Sorry for my absence... I had some things... and stuff....
It's not important. What is important is that I'm back. Yes I'm back in black, oh I'm back in black!
Jason: Your inner King Arthur is inexplicably telling you (or at least giving you the feeling) that not only can coconuts be found in Mercia, (after being carried by either an African swallow or two European swallows working together with a lead tied to their tail feathers) but also that there is a distinct difference between the air speed velocities of an African Swallow and a European Swallow. He thinks the information will be helpful at some point in the future.
He also thinks (rather, his presence makes you think) that the next time you see Princess Celestia that you should ask her how she got her power. By exploitin' the workers -- by 'angin' on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic an' social differences in our society? ....If there's ever going to be any progress... Well... The long and short of it is that she is not Your Princess, in fact, you didn't even vote for her. You would rather live in an anarcho-syndicalist commune. You see, supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not some farcicle solar ceremony. If you went around declaring yourself emperor because you put a show on every morning as the sun came up, they'd put you away!
You suddenly have the nearly over-powering need to facepalm, and it seems to be coming from your inner Batman, whilst your inner Doctor is just giving you the need to repeat the word 'What?' in as many different and confused ways as possible.
P.S. Razor, this is to bring back some comedy!
-On the surface-
(I forget where we were, so at the nearest story-acceptable time, I want to have this happen. Feel free to link it up however it should go Razor)
GF: So there must be something jammign the signal, Right?
K: Yes. There's no other reason why none of our communicators are working, barring the possibility of the problem stemming from the communications array on the Enterprise herself....
S: Since they did attempt to contact us, I find it highly illogical that the array is damaged.
M: So what do we do?
K: I'd hazard a guess that this town is the source, or very near it, of the jamming signal. Therefore, I'd suggest we move outside the town's radius as far as we can. Though we couldn't contact them in the Everfree though.....
*everyone stops for a moment*
Z: Perhaps the problem is the Everfree, and as such we should move away from those trees?
GF: Wait, I've got a better idea. Zecora, come with me, I'll keep goign North until I can contact the Enterprise, and perhaps even get some supplies. Like my suit. Perhaps you guys could hang around the town and keep an eye on the guy we came down here to protect?
K: *thinks for a moment* Alright. Tell Scotty, or whoever answers Access code Zulu-Alpha-Niner-Charlie-Three-Beta for authorization, And also tell them Code Charlie-Two-Romeo after they accept the authorization.
M: And tell Scotty to stay outta my liquor cabinet. I still have a bad feeling about that...
GF: Aye, Sirs.
-Onboard the Enterprise-
Sulu: Right, so I'm assuming you guys are done here?
Hacker-guy-whose-name-escapes-me: Sorta?
Sulu: Right, bridge crew, man your stations. *turns back to hackers* Perhaps you could take a look at our torpedoes and those arachnids. Not you though *gestures to Calvin* I want you to watch over RA and keep him out of trouble. The last thing we need is him breaking something onboard the enterprise.
Calvin: Why me???
*shattering sound*
RA*right next to a vase that somehow got onboard the bridge* Uhh.....
Calvin*sighs* Alright.... C'mon RA
Sulu: *grabs Calvin's arms* Here, give him this. It's a mind game that was recently developed by allies of ours. You focus your mind into moving a forced-hallucination object into a moving target. Each level gets harder, and it is only limited by the brain capacity of the user. The higher their mental powers the longer it goes.
Calvin: *sniffles* That's the evilest thing I can imagine! *wipes tar from eye, beaming all the while* Oh, RA!!! Got a present for ya!
*they leave the bridge*
Sulu: Alright. Helmsman, take us into a higher, stable geosynchronous orbit. I don't wan`t to risk another power failure.
Helmsman: Aye, sir.
3902766 You missed one hell of a party, man. We sank their Battleships... And their WHALES.
3902858
DAMNIT!
Didja at least save me some cake?
3902871 No… we saved you some…
3902871 3902880 You'll have to check with RA if there are any cookies left though.
3902880 3902908
OMNOMNOMNONOMNMONOM...
Mhhh... That was good....
Wait... Why does blue smell so bad? And who the hell is offending my taste buds with their awful cello playing. I... I don't...
Look, a birdie, flying in the sky... Ohhh... look at my clothes. They're so pretty.... Ahhhh.... This is beautiful. Look, bubbles. And rainbows..... Tiptoe through the window..... in the garden...
3902911 So that's where Steve's secret stash went.
3904259
Steve... what a funny word. hehe... Steve...
STTTTTeve...
Steeeeeeve....
Steevvvvvvvveeee....
Say it with me weird copper pony dude guy...
Steeevveee....
3906781 Wow, boredom is dangerous. [irl]Sorta like how I was bored in EVE Online, scanned for anomalous space stuff, and sstarted jumping through unstable wormholes in what essentially amounted to Dalek-Cyberman-Cylon-Precursor-Borg-combination space. In a small mining ship. With no weapons.[/irl]
3906824
Duuuddeee.... I completely understand... There was this one time... like just now... I swear I could see the everything. I was everything. Everywhere. I could feel it all... And yuou were touching me. And they were touching me. And the readers were toucing me. And those that watch th readers were touching me, and Pinkie was yelling at me... and there was this weird bright light person woman dude thing that was telling me I had 'ascended' or something, but what an elevator had to do with the whole thing I had no idea, and then there was this flash, and then I could taste the purple as I started telling you about it....
Dude.... if only you could see the beautiful tastes of the classical music world....
3906844 Have you ever wondered what it's like to be a wanderer in the fourth dimension?
3907388
Dude, you need to relax. Have some cake.
*holds up wad of earth filled with wriggling worms, and a nice pile of dogshit right on top.*
No? more for me then...
OMNOMNOMNOMNOM
Mmmhhhmm... I especially love the extra chocolate frosting, it sounds so good on my tongue!
If onyl you could hear the sounds the brown makes.
3907481 *breaks 4th wall even more than we already are* SLAP! *the insanity goes flying out of GF and back into 4chan from whence it came*
3907481
3907388
I wonder of this conversation is going to be added in anyway. It's tempting.
Sidestory:
Grey Rebl: Mute it. Now. But keep Nana in. Nana, report. Just what happened!?
Nana: The humans nearly died from a lack of oxygen and one of our allies turning insane. The Dalek ship is back online, so the connection should be positive enough to keep clear communications. Swimming is currently recovering from insanity. Apparently the Daleks made plans just in case and will be with us again soon. Fortunately, we all recovered without much casualties. Except maybe one traumatized Steve... We are currently resting in the Ensign ship.
-GR started feel agitated. About the situation, about the recent developments in the headquarters, his lack of sleep and, most of all, about Nana. And it shows.-
GR: ...And?
N: -sigh-...Director, we can trust them. I am in good hooves. They are all capable in taking care if me, you've seen the Daleks statistics. The hackers are specialized in computers; perfect in case my programming needs adjustments. BRP and Hugh is a synergies team. There's no need to keep tabs on me 24/7.
GR: BRP nearly died—
N: He would've gone worse if I wasn't there, and the Daleks ship wouldn't be functioning for much longer time. If we didn't trust them enough to send me here, we may have lost friends we didn't even met.
GR:...
N: Please, trust me. Trust them, too.
???: She's right you know.
-The director turned and he sees the secretary, who was listening in by the doorway along with another pony with a cart of coffee and empty mugs.-
S: Want coffee?
GR: Secretary?
S: You've been at it like a worried father with his filly. Your insomnia is unhealthy, you work your workers to the bone!
Random Computer Worker: Actually, we kind did this voluntarily. We have a kinship with Nana too.
S: Never mind then. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is what happened to the Grey Rebl who was always so cool and laid back? We want him back. The operatives of the AIA can vouch for me on that.
-She gestured towards a group of agents behind her and the computer ponies around.-
Random Pony 1: Come on, boss, where's the cool pony who wear sunglasses all day?
RCW 2: Like a boss!
RP 2: We want our Director back!
RP 3: Sir! We are against your behavior, sir! The bases had agreed to a protest!
RCW 4: We want in in this too! You ain't keepin' us out.
All: We want Grey Rebl! We want Grey Rebl!
-They all chanted until GR felt pride in his operation and the vague tears in his eyes-
GR: Dear Celestia... You guys.
S: I rounded them up while you were busy. You've done them good, they are like foals looking up to an idol. Quite an odd place this is.
GR: Thank you... Alright... Nana, I have my absolute faith on your friends.
N: Thank you, sir!
GR: But you better be with somepony at all times!
S: So, our director is back?
GR: -smiles- Yep, but we still have bit of business to discuss. Get me back into the chat call.
RCW: Sir!
GR: Anypony have free time? We need to discuss what happened and strategize. -grins- Let's talk tactics.
+Meanwhile, at ???+
-The room was dark, lit only with a candle. Two figures are present. One is on the bed, sick, and the other levitated a drink to the latter's lips. There was a knock. With a raspy, yet a deep and powerful voice, he asked, "what is it?".-
???: It's me. I've got news.
-Recognizing the voice, he gestured his helper to get the door for him. Opening the door, a hulking figure went in. The helper was asked to leave, and the two were left alone. A strong, healthy stallion and a feeble one in bed. Not a perfect scenario.-
???: Report.
???: We got word from our spy in the AIA HQ. Two operatives, Apple Clan and a Buffalo tribal are sent to Ponyville on a classified mission. Don't know the details. Coincidently, Risen Flagg was present in Ponyville. Should we pull them out?
???: Hmm... No. Let's watch them and see what they do. They are AIA agents, and they are known to be peculiar. If HE found out we somehow got word, he would suspect our spy.
???: What if this isn't some sort of coincidence? The AIA maybe planning something. Not to mention that 'alien' that has become a new Ponyville resident.
???: ...Maybe. Maybe...
-The bedded pony fiddled with the make-shift silver-stone necklace hugging his neck, and said to no pony in particular...:
???: Just what are you doing this time?
3907954 Hopefully the conversation you're referring to is non-canon. Otherwise Malchior 7.
3907986 Oh my goooooooodddd...
I have been sleeping at decent times lately... and then last week. My internal clock is swinging around so weirdly. Take a grandfather clock. That pendulum. Put tarzan on it for a bit as well as a rocket booster...then some grenades...then try to figure out the time on the exploded clock face. Thats me right now. It's 5:30 and I AM TIRED WHEN I SHOULDNT BEEEEE! But I am also hungry. Off to get some food.
(When BRP wakes up, he will probably be something like this. He will get out of bed before collapsing to his knees because of his broken leg. Then someone will give him a crutch)
Mm. I got nothing to type about, but I feel like typing a comment for some reason... I know! Just like good ol' gran used to say: If you can't think of anything interesting to say, say random bullcrap!
---------------
For me and my llamas, it was an especially dark night on the night of the invasion.
All seemed to be going well- me and my team of specially trained ninja llamas had successfully infiltrated Zecorum's borders by boat, and we were moving toward one of their outer bases. The plan was simple- get in quick and unnoticed, then place the bomb near the center of the base, and blow those zebra bastards sky high. After that, all we'd have to do was get out and wait for extraction. If only it had gone so smoothly.
We crawled through the beach, toward the base. All was quiet. No signs of zebra activity anywhere. Nevertheless, everyone was tense. We'd all heard the stories of infiltrations going wrong. Teams getting wiped out before they even got close to their objectives. Jimmy, our demolitions expert, and the holder of the bomb, cracked a joke about how the enemy wouldn't see what was coming, to try and loosen the tension.
Then it all went to hell.
Bullets flying everywhere. Everyone around me screaming and taking cover. I didn't even have time to realize we were under attack before my body instinctively took cover behind some rocks.
An ambush. Somehow, they knew we were coming. We'd been set up.
I looked around, and was horrified by what I saw: my team had been all but wiped out. A dozen and a half llamas lay there in the sand, lifeless. Near the center of them lay Jimmy, just as lifeless as the rest. Shot through the head. Didn't even have a surprised look on him. Poor bastard probably didn't even knew what hit him before he died. There was some irony in that, but I was far too busy worrying about my own skin to think about stuff like that.
I looked to who was left. Sergeant Sully, my second in command. Glad to see he was still alive. We'd need his expert marksmanship if we were gonna get out of this. Three others, too. Privates Dawson and Hicks, and corporal Smithson. Five llamas, including myself, against a veritable zebra army. Not the best odds.
With all that'd happened, there was no way we were gonna be able to finish the mission. We didn't even know how we were gonna get outta here ourselves, let alone accomplish the mission. I decided to call in command. See if we could get some evac.
Finally, some good news.
Turned out, there was already a chopper nearby. It'd be able to get us outta there in one piece, but there was a problem: evac zone was too hot. We'd have to either find some way to get the enemy to stop firing, or find another evac zone to get to. While I was in the middle of forming a plan to get us out of here, and somewhere safer, my sergeant announced something.
"Let's use the bomb!" Sully yelled. Confused, I asked what he meant. Surely he didn't mean to say we should continue the mission?
Turns out, that wasn't his plan. He figured the large explosion from detonating the bomb Jimmy had would cause enough distraction to allow enough time for a chopper to come in and get us, if we were lucky. With the mindset that this was a better idea than my plan of, "run like hell, and hope they don't shoot us in the ass," I decided we'd go with his plan. Only one problem: Jimmy's corpse- along with the bomb- lay a few meters away from the relative safety of the rocks we were hiding behind. I informed Sergeant Sully about this fact, and he just scoffed, and told me not to worry about getting shot. They'd handle that, he said. Told me to just crawl to the bomb. Stay low, crawl slow-like. Don't get noticed. As if I didn't know that. I told command about our plan, and they put a chopper on standby near the coast.
So, with newfound vigor, I made my way to the edge of the rocks.
This was it. I'd either get the bomb, or I'd get a string of bullets blown into me. Carefully, slowly, quietly... I laid to the floor, and started crawling to the bomb... And I wasn't getting shot at! The relief I felt is impossible to replicate. After I'd heard an explosion, I looked toward the remainder of my team, and saw why I wasn't getting noticed.
There, my highly trained team of ninja llamas was... Firing wildly at the enemy, lobbing grenades all over the place- nowhere near any zebra, mind you-, and just overall painting a giant target onto themselves. I won't tell you the other things they did to provoke the enemy. It would tarnish their memory... I wish I could make what they did sound more more heroic, I really do, but I really, really can't.
So! After a while of crawling, I eventually made it to the bomb, and looked back to what was left of my team. Sully was the only one left standing that I could see. I didn't know at the time where they were, but I assumed the worst.
Sully, being the crackshot he was, fired round after round toward the enemy. By the smile he wore on his face, I could tell he'd already taken out a good number of zebras. I could almost hear their cries of pain after every shot he fired. I smirked at the thought, then looked down to Jimmy's body for the bomb. The smirk immediately left my face, and I quickly searched his body for the bomb. After finding it, I quickly grabbed it, and moved on. I wasn't too keen on spending too long around the bodies of my fallen comrades.
After getting a fair bit closer, I just stood up and charged it. They, of course, noticed me at this point, and some started firing my way. Regardless, I just hoped I wouldn't get hit, and charged forward. I got as close as I felt comfortable, and just chucked the bomb as hard as I could.
After priming it, of course.
Ten seconds. I had ten seconds to get out of the blast range before the bomb went off. Looking back, I musta been insane to think I coulda just ran out of the blast range of that thing. The thing was meant to blow a whole friggin' base. No way I'd just run out of a blast range like that. Lucky for me, there was a pretty big hole in the ground not too far from where I chucked the thing from. Looked about llama sized, so I ran into it, waited for the explosion, and BOOM! The thing exploded, sending rubble into the air, and fire over my little ditch. When the fire died out, I stuck my head out. Turned out, I threw it closer than I thought, and I'd actually managed to get it pretty close to the wall! Ended up blowing a huge chunk of that wall apart, apparently. Lucky me, because that meant there was a bunch more dust floating about.
I wasted no time calling in the chopper. They said they'd be there in just a few seconds. Guys were closer than I'd expected, thank god. It apparently took them just over ten seconds to get there, apparently. Ten friggin' seconds. Felt like minutes, I swear it did. But once that thing was there, man oh man, I ran. Ran faster than I thought I could to that chopper. Made it there faster than an olympic sprinter coulda, I tell ya. Jumped in that chopper like my tail was on fire. And once I did, I waited for Sully to hop on.
Only, he didn't.
Looked around, but I couldn't see him anywhere. The pilot of the chopper told us we had to leave ASAP. I tried to get him to wait for just a few more seconds, but he was a stubborn as a mule- not that there's anything wrong with mules, of course. He took off. Can't blame him. It was a miracle I managed to get on myself. No need to push our luck, ay?
Anyway, turned out he was right to take off. When we were in the air, I saw the bodies of Sully and the others laid out on the ground. Guess they got shot. Or maybe the explosion got them. Didn't matter. My team was gone, leaving me the lone survivor. The military sure would be lonely without those guys. 'Least, it would have been. Apparently, my luck had run out, and some f*cker left standing at the base taking potshots at the chopper managed to hit me in the side, leaving me pretty banged up. I recovered mostly, but I won't be sent to combat any time soon, that's for sure. Now, I work behind a desk all day, working on paperwork and the like.
... God, I miss combat.
---------------
... Wow. I really just made a friggin' short story in the comments. Sorry. I just... I dunno. Felt like writing, I guess.