Despite their supposed massive power, Alicorns have done a rather poor job of saving the day. Twilight discovers that there's an actual reason for that.

Featured on EqD 6/6/16!

This story is a sequel to How to Hug a Five-Hundred-Foot Tall Dragon

It was supposed to be a routine flight over the desert, just a relaxing trip to stretch his wings out. He'd done it a thousand times before.

This time, it wasn't so routine.

Sex tag is for innuendo. No clop.

Part of the Hellpiercer 'verse, but knowledge of that story is not required. Reading the direct prequel How to Hug a Five-Hundred-Foot Tall Dragon is advisable, however.

Ever have one of those nightmares where you show up to school in your underwear? Adagio Dazzle has. Except it’s not really a nightmare… in multiple senses of the phrase.

When Gaberdine is awarded a noble title by Princess Celestia, he soon finds out that his new lands contain several surprises. For starters, there is no land in his new barony. Secondly, his new castle turns out to be a broken-down riverboat. And third is… seaponies.

Baron Gaberdine has a lot to learn about his new barony. And himself.

Fortunately, he has a very young teacher.

Now with a sea-quill (sorry) Drifting Down the Lazy River

Cover photo by PhoenixSwift
Editing/Pre-Reading assistance by Tek, Shaleclaw, Peter, Seether00, Monsieur Connoisseur, GhostOfHeraclitus, The Masked Ferret, Blue Paladin42 and Admiral Biscuit

Note: Unlike The Traveling Tutor and the Librarian, this is a single POV love story, like Changelings, Love and Lollipops. Only with fewer cannons and fountains.
Now Featured on Equestria Daily
With a YouTube Reading of the first chapter by BigAsh
And with a dramatic reading by Neighrator Pony and company Full playlist here.
Thanks for a wonderful review by Paul Asaran
Available in paperback through Lulu.com at cost.

Queen Chrysalis sees an opportunity to break up the Elements of Harmony before they spoil another one of her brilliant plans to rule all of Equestria. Since all of them are unmarried mares, all she needs to do is get them fighting over a stallion. And if one stallion isn't enough, she sends one male changeling for each of them, plus a spare.

Too bad she didn't think this one through first.

Editors: Tek, Peter

Vector credits: Wiki, Bocchinocullen (sign), Ackdari (changeling)

Idol Hooves holds a special place in Equestria. He's probably the only exiled changeling to serve in the Royal Guard, or at least, that's what he expects, as exiles don't really broadcast that fact. However, it's well known that Princess Celestia loves all of her little ponies, and her guards perhaps more so, and that makes it one of the best ways for a changeling to discreetly feed.

But how does a changeling even get there, let alone get exiled in the first place? For that matter, why would it ever go to Canterlot? Set a number of years before the series proper, before Luna’s redemption, Idol details how he was exiled, the ponies he’s met, and the series of misadventures that led him to joining the Royal Guard, and should continue a good ways into the series, as something of an alternate perspective.

Soon, he’ll have to deal with a boisterous new princess to serve and a royal wedding in the works bringing a third to power. Will his old instincts bring this new life crashing down around him? What precipitates Chrysalis’s ill-fated assault on Canterlot? Is it really so wrong for a changeling to enjoy good craftsmanship to an obsessive degree?

New cover art provided by the fantastic Carnifex

And a TVTropes page here.

And an Ask Blog of questionable canonity!
Out of Idol Curiosity

Fanart by Norad2! Major thanks! Short For a Royal Guard

Art by Egophiliac of Idol and his Daring Duckie Please don't tell him what that brush is meant for.

Rating updated to (T), it's a bit darker than (E)
Comedy Tag added as well
And changed the character tags a bit.

During her time-twisting battle with Starlight Glimmer, Twilight finds herself in an Equestria ruled by a tyrant alicorn that calls herself the Queen of Equestria. In this world, Twilight's friends are gone and beyond her aid, and Equestria's citizens live in fear of their ruler's wrath should they anger her.

But no one has ever seen the pony who suffers the most in this world.

Pre-read by MythrilMoth and RT Stephens. Cover art vector by kindkristy99

I had a pretty good life. They called me Spit Shine, I worked in the palace, cleaning this, doing that. Hell, I even got to talk to the Princess, and learned all sorts of interesting stuff. It was stimulating, prestigious, and hey, call me weird, but I liked the work.

Shame I was also secretly a changeling infiltrator with a name too annoying to pronounce in polite society trying to observe and potentially subvert your nation state.

I mean, these things happen.

Of course, you'd be surprised what you can learn about a pony when you have a different perspective.

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Original Concept by SoloBrony

Grammar-Less-Suckification by CarcinoGeneticist

Vector by Ackdari

Brand new Spanish Translation by Spaniard Kiwi!

Lyra Heartstrings, who is not exactly the most responsible adult out there, is driving a train. A train with no brakes, on fire, full of orphans, which is approaching a broken bridge at terminal velocity.

Hmm. Well, at least things can't get worse.

Fair warning: Dark humor ahoy, guys. Horrible things played for laughs.

Proofread by:

• Selbi
• Octavia Harmony

Octavia tells her friends she's dating Discord.

They take it well.

Proofread by Soundslikeponies, Pearple Prose, Themaskedferret and Octavia Harmony.