7. Anchorage
The One Who Got Away
Anchorage
“Betwixt two rows of rocks a sylvan scene
Appears above, and groves forever green:
A grot is form'd beneath, with mossy seats,
To rest the Nereids, and exclude the heats.”
—Virgill, The Aeneid
A brilliant light burst through the tiled glass window that made up so much of Gaberdine’s bedroom wall, spraying his bed with such force that even under the covers, he had to pull a foreleg over his eyes. In contrast, the cool breeze that trickled into his room from the open door brought with it the tantalizing scent of baking pancakes that fought valiantly with his determination to remain in bed until a respectable hour. Noon, perhaps. He was a baron now. He could sleep in whenever he wanted. Somehow he doubted that Sen would bring him breakfast in bed, though. Perhaps a compromise was in order. Maybe if he moved the bed into the kitchen.
“Good morning, Mister Baron Gaberdine!” The distinctive slithering-flop noise of a young seapony traversing the steamboat’s deck filtered to Gaberdine’s ears despite the thin comforter he was holding over his head. “I found your mail outside. You got two boxes, and the big one rattles when shaken. Are you going to get up, Mister Gaberdine?”
Surrendering to the inevitable and the unavoidable, Gaberdine poked his nose out from under the covers and regarded the young seapony looking back at him. “Yes.” It seemed a sufficient response to the relatively uncomplicated question, but it brought him face to face with a different problem.
While looking at Ripple, Gaberdine felt a shock all the way to his tail that sent his heart into a sudden hammering fit. He suddenly remembered accidentally sending the doodled and scribbled draft of the census to Princess Celestia complete with a drawing of the little seapony and her mother last night just before he went to sleep. Complicating matters was the fact that the exact same letter that he remembered sending was, in fact, sitting on his nightstand right exactly where he had left it, complete with a little red ribbon around the middle that he certainly did not put there.
There were two slightly-damp additions to the side of the Letter-That-Was-Not-Supposed-To-Be-There. Both were boxes, one quite a bit larger than the other, but both were adorned with the golden sun and silver moon of the Diarchy. After a little thought determined that whatever was in the boxes was not going to be discovered by simply staring at them and sweating, Gaberdine swung his legs out of bed and considered the decision of which box to open first.
On Hearth's Warming Eve in Canterlot, the boxes that rattled had the best presents.
Opening the large box took more effort than he realized, particularly with the bright attentive eyes of Ripple glued to his every motion. There was a folded sheet of crisp paper inside, marked with both the Celestial Sun and Moon symbols in gold and silver, and he took a deep breath before reading aloud.
From: Their Royal Highnesses, Princess Celestia and Princess Luna
To: Ripple, on the occasion of your Cutie MarkDearest Ripple,
Please allow the both of us to extend our congratulations on the occasion of your cutie mark. This is a time of great joy in your life, and it deserves to be shared. Although we can not be there on this happy occasion, know that we share your joy at this auspicious event.
We are including several gifts which we believe will be of assistance with your special gift. First, in this box you will find a full toolkit—
"Cool!" Ripple hopped up and down with a splatting noise every time her flippers hit the floor. "Can I see it? Can I see it?"
Gaberdine raised one eyebrow and continued reading.
—which Baron Gaberdine will present to you at the end of this letter. Also, we are including a number of dragonfire-imbued scrolls for your use. My sister and I enjoyed reading the reports that Baron Gaberdine has sent us so much, that we would appreciate it if you both were to continue sending us letters on a regular basis.
And last but not least, we have included this manepin with both of our symbols. At any time, you may present it to any of our guards for an audience with either of us, or both if you wish.
Sincerely,
Princess Celestia and Princess Luna
"Awesome," breathed Ripple as she took the silver and gold manepin, holding it proudly in the sunlight that beamed into the bedroom. The starburst of Princess Celestia's cutie mark was pressed against the crescent moon of Princess Luna's mark, and the two symbols meshed perfectly in a way that reminded Gaberdine of two puzzle pieces interlocking. It looked even better when Ripple used it to tuck back the little strand of violet mane that kept falling into her eyes. The pin was perfect, just as if it belonged there all of the time and had just been discovered to be put to its proper use.
He beamed and complimented the little seapony as she admired herself in the mirror, and again later as she unpacked the entire Royal Equestrian Engineering Corps Naval Toolkit (Personal) to spread the contents out across every horizontal surface in the room. She only quit her detailed examination of the marvelous toolkit when Sen poked his nose into the bedroom and stated that the toaster had ceased to toast and wondered if perhaps there was anypony in the vicinity who could repair it. In the blink of an eye, the tools were back in the box, and both prospective future engineer and present engineering tools vanished out the door, followed by a suspiciously smug senechal.
The remaining small box that sat silently on the table had been ignored by both Gaberdine and Ripple, but now he had no excuse to keep from opening it up and examining the contents. Twenty-five thin silver rings bearing the crossed gear symbols of the Royal Equestrian Engineering Corps sat peacefully inside, as well as a somewhat smaller filly-sized ring with a small tag reserving it for later use upon parental approval. There was no note, but Gaberdine recognized the enchantments on the rings. They each could be worn on a unicorn horn, or seapony he supposed, and used as a homing beacon in dark or stormy weather, as well as identifying the wearer to any Equestrian guard in their vicinity.
He closed the box while thinking of the contents and their future use. Even after fleeing from their ocean homes, the shy and frightened seaponies had found a place in Equestria to live and heal from their ordeal. They needed this place in order to bring order to their lives just as much as the riverboat tugs needed them to protect their lives from job-related dangers of the unpredictable river. Like odd puzzle pieces that no longer belonged in an old puzzle, they had fixed themselves in this place to universal benefit.
With a nearly-audible click, his own destiny became obvious, as if he were a puzzle piece sliding into the last empty spot in a puzzle. He sat the box to one side for now and started on his way to the castle galley and the two ponies there.
It was where he belonged.
~ ~ ~ * ~ ~ ~
Lord Gaberdine, Current Baron of Fen, leaned against the rail of his houseboat/castle and considered the playful splashes and calls of the laughing seaponies frolicking in the sunset-stained lagoon. Each of the seaponies sported a new silver ring on her horn, almost invisible at this distance except for the faint glint when they would rise to the surface and toss their manes back.
They were all so sweet and innocent despite their traumatic trip to this refuge. Even through their ordeal, they still had a joy in just living and existing that the nobles in court could never understand. If Gaberdine had sent the letters he had written, all of the nobles that he had been begging favor from for so many years would flock to his location just to gawk and consider ways that they could exploit the aquatic ponies that he had barely gotten to know.
Canterlot had always been home to him, with all of its intricate political maneuvers forming a bitter backstabbing stew that he had swam through since he was a young colt. Now it was time to swim in a different environment far more pleasant than his lifetime home, and perhaps as he returned to Canterlot on occasion to carry out the responsibilities of his new position, he would be able to carry some of that purity back up the mountain.
He could barely see the clouds over the top of the Canterlot mountain from here, bright white things that shone in the setting sun like beacons. Perhaps in some way that was what the Princesses had been doing and would continue to do. By simply existing, they were living examples of what ponies and all other living creatures in Equestria should strive towards. It was a thought of considerable depth, and he contemplated it while simply soaking in the evening sun and listening to the sound of seaponies at play, or at least until a spray of water from the lagoon shocked him out of his thoughts.
With a loud quack of frustration, Podunk lifted off from the surface of the lagoon and landed with a squelch of wet feathers by Gaberdine's hooves. Right behind him, Ripple looked up with a second splash and a loud cry of "Unfair! No hiding out of the water when we're playing tag! Oh, hello, Mister Gabby. Did you want to come play with us? There's not much sunset left."
After a moment to put his thoughts in order, Gaberdine nodded. "That's a splendid idea, Ripple. Give me just a minute to write a note that I've been putting off and I'll be right there."
Lighting his horn with a faint glitter of silver from the ring around its base, Gaberdine scratched for a few moments onto the last official piece of enchanted parchment that Celestia had given him before finishing the enchantment and watching it turn to vapor and wisp off in the direction of far-off Canterlot. It was the last piece in the puzzle that needed to be set in place, but there would be more in the future. In particular, his eyes rested on one specific seapony in the splashing game they were playing at the far end of the lagoon, and the corners of his mouth turned up in a happy grin.
Gaberdine strode to the upper section of the deck where the bow stuck out over the water, carefully draped his tie over a nearby spar, and paused at the very edge of the sharp dropoff. He lit his horn with a water-breathing spell and crouched as the splashing of the distant seaponies died down into an intense scrutiny of the uncharacteristic behavior of their staid and stogy baron.
He jumped.
It was far from a neat cleaving into the cool lagoon. It probably could not even be described as a 'dive' either. It was more of an awkward belly-flop with an impressive splash, followed by an inexperienced paddling under the surface of the water. Still, it drew applause from all of the watching seaponies, more so from a young mother and her small daughter who laughed when he surfaced in front of them and shook the water from his sodden mane.
"So does this mean you're delaying your return home for another day, Gabby?" asked Pearl, splashing him with one flipper and grinning.
"You could say that," said Gaberdine with a matching smile.
Barony of Fen
Official Census (Final Revision)Permanent Resident(s)
One (1) Seneschal Sienna of Fen
One (1) Baron Gaberdine of FenTransient Residents
Four (4) Ducks (one adult, three adolescents)
Your faithful servant
Baron Gaberdine of Fen- - - - Cut Here - - - -
Princess Celestia and Princess Luna,
On behalf of my subjects and myself, I would like to express our appreciation for all that you have done for us.
Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.
Gabby
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Spoiler for the meaning of the title: Gaberdine is the one who got away... from Canterlot and his ultimate fate there.
There we go, now to get the misc. notes and scribbles page posted.
That feeling when you finish chapter 6 and become disappointed because you have to wait for the next one but then you reload the page and chapter 7 is out. Lel
6385178 I figured that would be the case, but lovely story <33 Ripple is a weapon of cuteness though >_>
Wonderful chapter!
Smart pony. He knows the exploitative nature of the Canterlot snobs and has written the innocent seaponies out of the official census.
Now they'll just remain legends that the stuff-snouted nobles will disregard as mere foals' tales, safe from their greedy hooves.
And griffon talons. Cuz seaponies were the traditional main course of the Spring Festival...
Dang evil griffons, eating everyone... ya should've seen the horrors of the summer BBQs... the minotaurs have never forgiven them. (so much anti-griffon propaganda...)
This was a great read. I am very happy with the ending and sad that it ended. Thanks for another fine story.
Very cute. Wonderful short story.
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The Minotauren BBQ's are complete lies of course. The Minotaurs are valuable allies to the Griffons, and and they would never stoop so low as to eat them. The BBQ was held in celebration of the leaving of a particularly irksome Yak prince, actually...
You've gone and done it again. You've made me want more. I want to know what will happen with the new baron, Ripple, Pearl and the rest of the seaponies.
Absolutely beautiful short story. Poignant and it puts a smile on your face. Well done, Georg. Well done.
6385178 Dude, this was such a wonderful story, and I am so glad to have run up on it.
Beautiful work and awesome job well done!
I knew it! hehe, nice man, nice
Awesome work on this story again!
loved it, and it deseves more love then it gets
THis is it?!?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO there has to be more! or a part 2! anyway this was a wonderful story and i thoroughly enjoyed every second of it i read of it.
*applauds* Beautifully written Georg. I think the end wrapped it up nicely. I love your characterizations, Gaberdine's internal musings, the descriptions and how well you've captured the sea ponies spirit of joy and laughter. The scene where he was just watching them play in a sunset-lit lagoon, brought back childhood memories and feelings of doing the same on a hot summer's evening.
6385178 You must make MORE!!!!!!!
A wonderful ride.
Very enjoyable! It wasn’t until this chapter that I realized what Georg listed in his spoiler. Nice twist!
Since Georg had the ring presentation ceremony off-camera, my imagination filled it in.
…..
“And finally….Pearl!”
A wave of clapping of hooves greeted the sea-mare as she smiled and gracefully bowed her head. If anypony noticed that Gaberdine’s hoof trembled more than it did for the others, there was no comment beyond a few light nickers.
“What about me?” objected Ripple, causing a much louder chorus of laughter.
“The princesses have not forgotten you, Ripple. They have included a much smaller ring for your horn”
The filly beamed.
“… but I was instructed to discuss the matter with your mother first.”
“Oh.” The small seapony looked down, seemingly dejected.
Gaberdine paused for a moment.
“I do have a very special job for you, if you are interested.”
“Pick me! Pick me! Pick me!” she yelled with the emotional resilience only youth can provide.
Gaberdine smiled then reached into the box, pulling out the final ring. “The princesses gave me one last adult sized ring” he said with a glance towards Ripple. “It is identical to the others but they did not have any instructions for it. I presume they wanted me, as your Baron, to wear it. Ripple, would you like to do the honors?”
The little seapony was bouncing up and down in the water by this point, her hoof upraised. “OH! OH! OH!”
Gaberdine lay down on the deck of his castle/ship, setting the box aside. He carefully handed the ring to Ripple then lifted her out of the water with his hooves. With her infectious smile having its effect on him, Ripple gently slid the ring to the base of Gaberdine’s horn.
The seaponies all cheered as Gaberdine shared a hug with Ripple, placed her back in the water, then stood.
“Again, let me thank you in the name of Princess Celestia and Princess Luna for your bravery.”
He then frowned and cocked his head slightly to the side.
“Although…” he waited dramatically “… if we didn’t know better, it almost looks like I am now married to a herd of gorgeous mares by Royal Decree!”
His declaration was met by twenty four gasps.
The silence was broken by two sounds. First, Ripple declared “Yay!” Second, Gaberdine’s shrieking laughter was overwhelmed by the splash of water hurled from two dozen tails.
Awesome several times over. Celestia and/or Luna are great.
Ooooo, nice.
And Gabe is wearing one too in this final scene, even better.
Practical fellow, ain't he?
Hah!
Eh. As good as any logic
Oh, she's good
Well. Wow
Then again, I guess a seapony showing up at the palace would probably not have much trouble getting redirected straight to the Princesses anyway
Well, it was already known to just burn bread, so that was more or less inevitable
Ohh. Twenty-three seaponies, plus Pearl, plus Ripple... and one for himself. Neat!
"the castle galley" is just such a ridiculously silly thing
Huh. The seaponies are officially off the radar, then, hmm?
So officially there are no seaponies in the river but all the bargees and other river people know about them.
This brings up a mental picture of some noble on a dock exclaiming "I just saw a seapony" and the old-timer drawling "must be your imagination sur - everypony knows there is no such thing as seaponies in rivers."
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I find it funny that the actual submitted census ended up being almost the same as if he were completely clueless the first couple days, and didn't want to stick around under any circumstance. Got seneschal? Yup, we're done here.
Its nice to step back from the rat race of stories like fallout equestria and hocus pocus and relax by the waters edge with this. Nothing world shattering just a nice small story about finding what is important to you
I re-read it. I smiled again.
Huh. Who's the twenty-fifth one for? 23 ponies plus Pearl, and the one for Ripple is counted extra. Is it for Sen or for Gaberdine himself? :)
Nice.
Why doesn't the final revision of the census list the seaponies anymore? I'm probably missing something.
Edit: Oooooh, he's keeping them secret from the official records.
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I know you figured it out but there was a passage that explained why he wanted to keep the seaponies' existence secret:
6408034 With just one minor difference.
Gaberdine is listed as a resident on this one.
Read all of it in one sitting.
*slowclap* Good job sir...good job.
You've done it again Georg. In only a few short chapters I've fallen in love with a cast and a setting.
The Muse won't leave me alone!
This scene would happen a week after Chapter 7 and the scene in Comment #16.
-----
Gaberdine, Baron of Fen lounged on his bed, humming contentedly as he studied the book which rested on his chest – Zen and the Art of Steam Engine Maintenance. He had waited a week for his order to arrive and was thoroughly enjoying this luxurious opportunity to gain new inspiration.
Gaberdine stuck a piece of paper in the current section. He wanted to go over this chapter with Ripple, assuming he could keep her from devouring the entire book in one sitting.
His attention was drawn away by gentle tapping sounds from the dock, followed by louder clopping on the deck of his castle.
He waited patiently until Pearl appeared in the doorway, silhouetted by the setting sun. Once again Gaberdine thought how lucky he was to see perfection enter his life, even for a few moments at a time.
After remembering his manners, he cleared his throat. “Can I help you, my lady?”
“Am I?” she responded with a skeptical look.
Gaberdine opened his mouth to reply, then stopped short as he considered.
“Do I say ‘yes’? Do I really want to make her feel trapped? That would be bad.”
“’No’? And risk insulting her? That would be worse!”
“Make a joke about it? How is that better?”
Slowly, in stages, he closed his mouth, earning a smirk and a knowing look from the seapony.
As she moved closer, his heart beat harder and harder, until he thought it surely could be heard on both sides of the river.
Pearl stopped and loomed over him, her damp curls framing her face beautifully, the dim reading light glinting off of the thin silver band at the base of her horn, a knowing smile and amused look in her eyes.
Gaberdine found it very difficult to concentrate. After a considerable time going over his next choice of words again and again, Gaberdine asked “Is there anything I can do for you?”
She waited for a time, then placed a forehoof on his chest. Gaberdine’s throat suddenly felt dry and he was more than a little panicked.
“The ‘beautiful mares’ and I were wondering exactly what you meant by claiming to be our mate at the ring ceremony,” she teased.
Gaberdine placed a forehoof on hers. Pearl’s eyes flew open and she flinched. However, he had not used his kinetic field, simply resting his hoof on hers. Her eyes darted back to his, but he was looking away, his mouth pulled into a frown. With considerable effort, she kept herself from fleeing.
“What you have gone through….what all of you have lived through that caused you to come here….I would never presume to try to take away that sadness.”
Pearl’s eyes melted and she leaned forward, giving the surprised baron his second kiss. As she raised her head with a smile, she said “Perhaps you don’t give yourself enough credit”. Slowly, she turned away.
Before leaving to bedroom/library, she stopped and looked over her shoulder.
“Or, I think, to all of us.”
She then continued her way off the ship.
A very thoughtful Gaberdine started to relax again, but could not bring himself to pay attention to his book.
Suddenly, he heard the rapid approach of hooves. Pearl poked her head in the doorway.
“Oh! And I forgot to ask. The girls want to use the shower again sometime. May we? And would you get more of that floral shampoo? All of the mares love it!”
Automatically, he replied “Of course, my lady” only to realize what he had said with a look of horror on his face.
Pearl gaped and blinked for a moment. Upon seeing his expression, she let out her silvery laugh as she turned away.
Right in the feels ever time.
My soul, it's both existing and happy.
This was so freaking great and adorable. Why did I ever put off reading this? Thanks for writing it, and I'm looking forward to the sequel.
After re-reading the story for about the 4th time I realized I had never complimented you on the use of quotes from the Aeneid! Absolutely marvelous - a perfect way to set the mood. I can see the whole setting in my mind's eye.
7415554 Quotes for the sequel will be out of Buck Fin (Mark Twain). Example:
Drifting Down the Lazy River
Marooned by Fate
"We said there warn't no home like a raft, after all. Other places do seem so cramped up and smothery, but a raft don't. You feel mighty free and easy and comfortable on a raft."
— The Adventures of Buck Fin
Sunlight stabbed through the holes in his itchy wool blanket, making Turpentine squint as he attempted to shift positions on the unyielding logs of the marooned raft. As a mattress, logs sucked. He could barely stand to roll over onto his side and move his legs until the cramps went away, even though the residual chill of the long damp evening still made the stiff hairs on his coat feel as if they were covered in ice. It took several tries for him to get to his hooves and stagger to the edge of the grounded raft with a tremor to his coat that only a long soak against a warm campfire would be able to fix. All he needed to do according to the book was to gather up some more dry driftwood and pile it on the coals of the fire from last night. There was just one problem.
Considering he did not write what Ripple got her cutie mark for, were the princesses spying on him or did they deduce that just from the sketches he accidentally sent them?
7840589 Hm. I didn't find anywhere in the story where the princesses knew *what* cutie mark she had, only that Gaberdine sent them a letter saying he had just gotten one. Of course, after the accidentally-sent draft of the last chapter, they most probably know.
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s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/b9/e7/89/b9e789ee53122872b753f9fb8f7b879a.jpg
7945132 Check pic
7945132 How did it cost 100 million bits to get a rejected cloud to Canterlot? Like, what did they do to the cloud that cost 100 million bits?
*claps* well done.
Nice short story that was something i haven't seeen in a long time. I enjoyed it. I normally ask for stuff like this to be longer, but the fact that i don't feel that need so very good job.
Now i heard there was a sequel so i will just leave a like and fav and go find that.
👏👏👏👏👏What a great journey of heart. In a country side river, in a shabby boat, a flower of love quietly bloom, and a new family just begin. This is just sooo beautiful
Sorry to say this, but somepony gonna get seapony laid tonight
Booty callllllllll
I wonder if Pearl and Gabby get married someday?
9247352 There is a sequel. And I'm not telling.
- MLP: FiM
- Romance
- Adventure
A frustrated young orphan with a talent for painting attempts to run away from his rural village and escape to Baltimare on a raft, only to find out that the river Fen holds an unexpected answer to his problem: SeaponiesHo, boy. How do I put this the right way...
Georg, let me just say that I have a lot of respect for you as a writer. In many regards, I admit, you are far superior to me. I particularly envy your command of the language and ability to consistently describe things is ways that are intricate but at the same time has a good, natural-feeling flow, resulting in a captivating reading experience with little effort. You are great at establishing tone, you don't rely on dialogue more than you have to, and when you do you do it very well... Look, what I'm basically saying is, reading your prose makes my own feel rather clumsy by comparison, and trust me when I say I'm a very hard man to humble.
You are also one of the few writers I've come across around here capable of writing genuinely good slice of life - you understand the importance of using mood, atmosphere and characters to make up for the lack of the dramatic twists and turns of a more plot driven narrative. This one is, at times, almost Ghibli-eqsue in it's relaxing slow burn feel-good wholesomeness. I never thought a story about a guy repairing a steam engine could make me happy, but here we are.
That said, I do have some issues and I feel it would be remiss of me not to bring them up. In my comment on the previous chapter I critiqued the climactic romance scene for seeming strangely distant or impersonal and lacking in subtlety. The more I think about it, the more I find the entire romance subplot felt very rushed and, frankly, of fairly little consequence. The heart of this story is the thematic and emotional focus on Gaberdine finding a place where he could gain a new perspective and subsequently become a happier, more fulfilled person. With this in mind, the love story ends up feeling like an afterthought that you almost seemed to want to get out of the way quickly because the story was about to end. Oh, and for being the love interest, Pearl has very little presence in the story but, paradoxically, for a character who is supposed to be very shy and elusive it's also a bit weird how quickly she becomes close to Gaberdine.
Looking back, this tendency is apparent in other aspects of the story as well. You establish that the sea ponies are war refugees who have gone through a fair bit of trauma, but they have such a very limited part in this story that the only reason we know this is because we are essentially told so via exposition. Additionally, it doesn't really serve much of a purpose - it's a side-note, barely tangentially relevant - and as such isn't worked into the story in an organic way. Even Pearl only comes across as sorta shy and timid. She, at least, could have used more in-depth characterization and agency - the lack of which unfortunately only emphasizes the impression that the romance was not a high priority.
Regarding Gaberdine, I did like him quite well as a protagonist, but I feel like I misunderstood what you were going for with him for a rather long section of the story. See, I never got the impression that he was actually unhappy with his life in Canterlot. He struck me as fairly content and motivated, just a bit of a persnickety over-achieving stick-in-the-mud who simply needed to relax and mellow out a bit. And in my defense, this seemed to fall perfectly in line with how the story was going. So it was a bit jarring when the story informed me that he hadn't been actually happy before coming to Fen, that it was this big life-changing thing. Not saying he had to be Ebenezer Scrooge or anything, but if there were hints that he wasn't in a good place emotionally, I never noticed them.
I rather liked the use of puzzles as a motif, which you seemed to elevate to theme in this last chapter. But for the same reason, I also thought it was underused. I think the story could have benefited greatly if you had emphasized that more: Establishing Gaberdine's talent for puzzles very early on, then using that to illustrate that his own life was a puzzle he never managed to piece together; that he himself was incomplete.
Somewhat similarly, the part where he burns the invitation letters seemed intended to be a defining character moment of sorts. However, he appeared to write them almost on a whim and then just changed his mind a short while later, so it doesn't have much of an impact. It would have worked better if it had been more drawn out and Gaberdine had struggled a bit with the temptation of exploiting his barony and its inhabitants, making his character development much more apparent and less impulsive. This would have been particularly effective if he was portrayed as more of a coldly calculating opportunist in the beginning, but if anything he always seemed pretty disinterested in really capitalizing on his new acquisition.
Over-all, I get the impression there was a lot of stuff you wanted to put into this story that ended up not quite fitting the format. This is one of those stories that I feel could have been amazing had it only been longer and maybe a tad more involved. Gaberdine could have used more contrast between who he was at the start and who he ended up being in the end, so that his transformation was more apparent. It could have used more focus on him learning about the sea ponies and establishing contact with them over a longer period of time. (Which would have allowed for his disposition to change gradually as well.) Pearl, in particular, needed far more scenes and characterization, and Gaberdine needed to spend a lot more time and effort getting to know and understand her.
...Ripple is totes adorbs, though, and every scene with her is great. Best character.
Well, those are my thoughts on this story. Again, the stuff you do well, you do exceptionally well. But there's also a lot I kinda wish you did better.
This was delightful. A gentle and sweet story that didnt try too hard to force a romantic or philosophical theme, and the subtetly did it great favors, in my opinion. I rather enjoyed Gaberdine slowly realizing how unsatisfying his old life is now that he has something better to compare it to. I saw other notes saying different things could have been explored more, like the war backstory, but I didnt feel that was necessary. The writing and the story together formed a tranquil, enjoyable read that I found simply relaxing, and that is a lovely thing. :)
Very... narrow.
God, what a nice read.