Existence is pain. Blame Shadowninjaman for my insanity in trying to re-write this. Please search for the non-old and cancelled version. Because I repeat, I'm insane. And so is he for managing to convince me.

Note: It's not up yet. Kinda jumped the gun here, but meh, enjoy this remnant I suppose!

Shortly after her father had landed a demanding and stressful business job, Pinkie Pie has not attended Canterlot High for almost an entire week. She hasn't kept in contact with her friends and she insisted that she was fine. However, when Rainbow Dash tries to find out what has been causing the usually-bubbly girl to skip school, something that she would never do, she finds out a horrifying truth that both shocks her and terrifies her.

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Featured - 25 / 01 / 2019
26 / 01 / 2019

Ponies are stupid.

They're stubborn, they don't understand weather patterns, and they need to be hugged when they get hurt.

It's stupid and confusing, but Prince Rutherford isn't going to back down from helping his Honorary Yak.

(Third Place in CategoricalGrant's CuddleFic Contest. Prompts used were having his OC, Wave Function, make a cameo, and basing the story around sick ponies)

It’s not uncommon for young stallions or mares to come to Cadance to request blessings in their love lives or some other such thing. It’s all part of being the Princess of Love, really. This latest request, however, is altogether new. Granting it could start a political firestorm, but a powerful part of her says she should do it anyway. Filled with indecision, she decides to get advice from the pony she trusts most.

Born from a minor thought experiment based on the theory of Equestria having a female supermajority population and the potential cultural impacts of such a society.

Generously preread by Wanderer D.

Cover art by vintage-kiddo (formerly known as JadedMelody613).

Rated teen for topical discussion of sex (just playing it safe).

Twilight realises something shocking.

And maybe she shouldn't question it.

Nobles have long held sway over Equestrian culture. They are the trendsetters, the heads of the pack. Simply the way they speak can influence language. When they create compliments, similarly-phrased praise spreads throughout the nation. When they implement insults, ponies create situations for those insults to be used. One insult, in particular, has gone down in history as especially infamous.

I'm talking about butts and the photocopying thereof. This is still Equestrian nobility, after all. It's complicated. And stupid. Mostly stupid.

Has a dramatic reading done by Skijarama.

Vice-Principal Luna seems to get all the leftover jobs nobody else around the school will do. If not for getting cooped up in the building, at least she could enjoy some moonlight. But once again, she finds that her students will never cease to surprise her.

When a magical malaise falls over Ponyville, stealing the very words from ponies' mouths, it's up to Applejack to save the day!

... so long as she can figure out what the heck everypony's trying to say, first.

When Twilight's friends discover she has been overheard talking to an Earl, they come to the conclusion that she has a secret coltfriend.

But is that really the case?

COMMENTS CONTAIN SPOILERS.

You wake up in a land where magic is real and sapient ponies have built a civilisation. Being from a different universe, you have no understanding of their language or laws, but you're happy to have found yourself in the friendliest town there is. Good luck building a new life as their favourite... monkey thing.