Chapter 1: The First Step...
Several years later...
Crash!
"Silver Spark you get back here this instant!"
He turned the corner, leaping up and jumping of the wall so that he didn't lose speed, and he heard his mom do the same, picking up the pace so that she could catch him.
He giggled around the hair curler he had in his mouth, once more cursing his mother's foresight of using whatever was on hoof to block his magic first chance she got whenever he started causing trouble, the object of his ire being a juicy red apple, stuck securely on the tip of his horn.
Probably gonna eat it later. He thought, absently ducking under his father's legs, before he felt a large blanket settle on top of his everything, the world going black as he was captured.
He felt his dad's magic latch onto him before he rose up into the air, the chuckling of his parents filling the room as they exposed his doom-and-gloom expression to the light.
"You can try to delay it all you want, but your first day of school is already happening, now can you please let your father and I finish getting ready?" His Mother only half-jokingly said, and he giggled at her half-curled yellow mane, the limp half dangling in front of her face.
He really didn't want to go, but it was better than sitting in the house all day doing nothing, not that he would tell his parents that, he wanted them to have the real parenting experience, plus it was the day where he started on his goals. Not that they were very numerous right now, be better wasn't exactly the most concrete of goals.
Still, he had to get out of the house at some point, and oddly enough he'd found his experiences as a kid to be fun.
He shook his head, idly fiddling with his freaking neon yellow mane while his parents got ready to take him to his first day of school.
He munched on the apple that had been stuck on his horn, thinking about what he was planning to do with his life, what he was gonna have for a snack later, repeating the names that needed remembering (Never Forget), and just... letting his mind wander.
He most definitely did not scream when he felt two hooves grab him, and he couldn't have blushed in embarrassment when his parents laughed, it just wasn't possible.
He silently fumed at his parents while they ran a brush through his blue fur, before just rolling his eyes and going with it.
He was gently placed on his mother's back as she hovered along, and he giggled again, and speaking of, he really needed to get out of that habit now that he was going out in public.
He was utterly fascinated with flying-well, more of the falling aspect really, nothing but the wind as it roared past you, the ground getting closer and closer, it was just so liberating, so freeing, so-
"Silver..." He sheepishly retracted his head from where it was hanging off his mother's back, being firmly reminded that they hadn't forgotten the first time he'd done that and tilted right off, laughing so hard he was crying on the way down until his mom had caught him.
"Just looking." He saw his mom roll her eyes as she turned to look forward, and now that he payed attention he realized they were already nearly four times as far as he usually went into the city, that number rapidly growing as his mom flew.
Canterlot was big, and while not as big as some cities on earth it was a lot more densely packed, everything laid out just right instead of the casual expansion of most cities, it was odd.
He watched as ponies went about their usual business, everyone just walking about like little ants.
"Hey look, a bug!... think I'll squish it!" He said in his best gruff voice, and he felt his mother's flight wobble as she snorted, his smile widening at the sound.
It wasn't long before they were descending, and he vaguely made out the sign spelling out Celestia's School For Gifted Unicorns, rolling his eyes once more at this world's odd namings.
He hopped off his mom's back once they landed, glancing around at all of the other families that had gathered, all of the Colt and Filly unicorns, and he counted nearly forty families.
His mom placed a wing on him to make sure he didn't run off (Smart) and before long they were in the building, walking down halls that were eerily familiar, schools all having the same general feel from his experience.
He was really, really happy his parents had decided to homeschool him until this point, he was not the most social of creatures, sitting right there next to The Grinch on the antisocial behavior meter.
He hadn't really expected to ever see this place, but apparently he was 'Freakishly Good' at magic, his father looking proud whenever he used some of the spells he'd figured out, but utterly lost whenever he used some of the ones he'd made himself.
He'd been stuck in a house with nothing to do and a key to almightly power stuck on his forehead, and all he had to do to figure out how to use it was read some books and figure out how it worked.
The human mind was not built to be tempted on such a level.
Hey, it's not like he could exercise like he did in his downtime during his last life, he read enough to know that excessive exercise could seriously mess up a child's body.
He came out of his thoughts when he and his mom entered a large room that absolute screamed lecture hall, and while he'd never been in one himself he'd seen a few from videos and pictures.
There were four official-looking unicorns up at the top of the seats, and he startled when he realized his mom had walked over to the edge of the room, leaving him in the center of the room.
He turned when he heard the door open, seeing a light brown earth pony with dark brown hair wheeling in what looked like a mannequin, but studded with odd sensors.
He stared at it in confusion for a bit, wondering what happened to the dragon egg test that Twilight had used in the show, was he before when they got the egg or after she had hatched Spike? Questions for later.
"Now mister Spark, if you would kindly cast the most advanced spell of your repertoire?" Good god if everyone here talks like that he'd snap.
Not the most powerful but the most advanced... that would have to be one of the spells he'd made himself, and it would have been easy to cast the most powerful spell he had, but to pick out the most advanced...
The spells he'd made were all ripped off from video games or anime, but if he had to pick the most complicated one... it would have to be Haste, the most loved spell in the Final Fantasy series, and the single hardest spell he knew how to cast. Easily leagues and leagues above anything else he'd created.
He'd had to look through dozens of books on Time magic, which were really fucking complicated to even start on making the spell, the only reason he stuck on it was that it would be the most handy spell ever if he could get it right.
He lit up his horn, and his magic aura engulfed the dummy, before he narrowed his eyes and focused, and as he watched, his blue magic aura gradually turned purple as the light coming from the dummy was compressed from being sped up, before turning red, and he focused a bit of his attention to make that signature holographic clock appear in front of the dummy, an illusion of course, but it just wouldn't feel right without it.
Jesus fuck that spell made him tired, the only reason it was viable at all was that it both cost less to use on himself and would last a few minutes before wearing off, and he took a second to just collapse onto the floor and groan from the strain.
...
... Why is everything so quiet? He cracked open an eye to check on the entrance exam ponies, before blinking.
Two of them were frozen solid, just staring at the dummy in a way that he couldn't quite decipher, one of the others was scribbling something down furiously, while the last was opening and closing their mouth, making odd squeaking noises.
"That was quite the impressive spell." He turned, wondering who- WHAT IS CELESTIA DOING HERE!?!?
He was gone, bye bye, believe it or not Spark isn't at home, please leave a message at the beep.
She was looking over the dummy, and her horn lit up, presumably to cast a spell to scan it. He was too busy making dying squeaky toy noises to care though.
He saw her eyes widen a bit, before she turned to him and smiled and dying squeaky toy noises.
"What is this spell called? I've never seen something like this before." He wheezed, before pulling in a breath and closing his eyes for a second, doing his best to get his mind off the fact that the God-Queen herself was standing before him.
Blood for the blood god, Milk for the Khorne flakes. "It's called Haste." He saw her nod, taking a closer look at the mannequin.
"It's derived from the Aging spell, correct? Making them age quicker, and as a byproduct speeding up their movements?" He blinked, that was... almost what he'd done to create it, but not quite.
"Er, no your highness, I used the failed Time Stop spell, or at least what I could learn without the official research, and reversed the process, making the target... slipery when it comes to the fabric of time, but not quite invisible. Turns out slowing things down or speeding them up is a lot easier than stopping them." She was nodding along as he talked, before her horn's magic winked out and she turned towards him.
"I don't suppose I could see about giving you another test? It won't impact your exam here, it's simply for curiosity." A test from the God-Queen Celestia herself? Twilight would have flipped her shit.
"No, it's no problem at all!" Probably sounded a little too eager there, as evidenced by The Princess' amused smile and his sudden bout of existential terror at it.
He forcefully reminded himself that as nice as Celestia was, and how caring she seemed, she was still a God, and there are no good Gods, history and fiction had both taught him that much.
He heard his mother following behind him and The Princess, and soon enough they came upon and entered a room much different than the last one, something more reminiscent of the classrooms you'd see in middle school.
The desks and other furniture were covered in dust, so the room probably hadn't been used in a while.
He took a seat as The Princess went to dig around in that closet that every classroom has, returning shortly with what looked like a ball wrapped in a few towels.
She gently set it on the teacher's desk, before slowly unwrapping it, revealing- why the hell is Spike's egg sitting in front of him?!
Purple egg, darker purple dots, it was (from what he remembers) a mirror image of the one the show, and it was sitting right in front of him, looking like it hadn't been touched in forever.
Good thing his poker face was unbreakable, because he was FREAKING THE HELL OUT!
"Now, young Silver Spark, I would like to see if you can't use your magic to hatch this egg, don't worry about failing, this has been here for quite a while, and has laid untouched for nearly a year. It can go back in storage, dragon eggs last quite a long time you see." It... was probably him just making connections where there weren't any, it probably wasn't Spike's egg after all, but if it wasn't, then when exactly did Twilight hatch him?
He'd been looking out for the Sonic Rainboom for nearly his whole life, and nothing. Did he miss it? Was he just not paying attention at the time? He did read inside quite a lot, so he wouldn't exactly be in a position to hear ponies talking about it.
Yeah, he just missed the moment that made the main six, so he saw no problem with giving it his best shot, The Princess was probably just wondering if he could do it, Cutie Mark unrelated magic using unicorns were pretty rare after all, and he had used Haste, a pretty unique magic, without a Cutie Mark.
He narrowed his eyes at the egg, going through all the spells he knew that might work, and coming up with nothing, before delving into the spells that he'd never actually used, but thought up anyway, coming up with the same.
How did Twilight hatch Spike again? Some sort of massive magical surge, combined with gaining her Cutie Mark, which was a lot of power, he didn't have anything that could match that power, save for a spell he'd deemed way too risky for now due to how hard it would be to control at his age.
'Eh, fuck it. If it goes wrong then... not sure, but The Princess will stop it. Probably.' He'd thought this spell up due to both reading through some power-amplifying spells and remembering one of the most memorable moments from an anime he'd watched.
"Can you please step back for a bit? Need some room." He cracked his neck, as was habit, barely noticing his mother's flinch as he focused. This could go very wrong, very fast, but if he could pull it off...
He closed his eyes and focused, drowning out the world around him as he layered spell upon spell on top of eachother in his head, preparing to make the plunge, so to speak.
He inhaled, and started talking-it was only right to pay homage to the original. "You walk the path of magic, but to arrive at it's summit... there is something you still lack."
The two other occupants in the room looked at him in confusion (and worry in his mother's case), then their eyes widened as a silver glow appeared around his horn.
"Learn now what that is."
The glow surrounding his horn doubled in strength, becoming almost flame-like, then it doubled once more as it spread to the rest of his body, bringing with it an odd sort of ache that could only be described as 'too much everything', before it grew even more, beginning to reach up towards the top of the room and starting to blow some of the dust in the room around.
The magic aura seemed to double in strength once more as he grit his teeth, some of the magic around him becoming almost opaque, making it a bit hard to see.
As cool as it probably looked, the reason why it looked like that was because of the horrible efficiency of the spell. He was barely getting a tenth of the magic internalized, if that.
He turned his gaze towards the egg, briefly contemplating using a spell on it, before dismissing that idea as foolish, he could barely hold onto the magic as is, using it to power a spell would be impossible, the best he could do would just be to funnel it into the egg and hope for the best.
So he did, and his control wavered at just how much the egg was taking, his magic shuddering as his control slipped more and more, and he worried that it would all come crashing down.
Then there was a flash of light, and suddenly his grasp on the magic was ironclad, funneling the rest of it into the egg as the white pillar of magic surrounding him dissipated, leaving him groaning on the floor in pain, his horn aching like no other as his body echoed the notion.
C-Crack!
"Heh... I win..." He felt half delirious at this point, his emotions drained and his body aching for sleep, it had taken all that magic just to hatch the egg, and Twilight had managed to do that, age up the resulting child, turn her parents into inanimate objects, and still had enough left for a magic overload? Wow...
He shook his head in an attempt to get rid of his sudden case of cobwebs, immediately regretting the action when his headache got worse.
He did his best to drag himself out of his thoughts so that he could tell what was happening.
His mother was standing there staring at him, her jaw doing its level best to touch the floor, while The Princess had an expression he could only describe as pure joy on her face as she watched the egg.
He turned his attention to the focus of his efforts, the egg's shell cracking more and more, before eventually the top part-
It's Spike...
It didn't look like Spike, it was Spike. Same colors, same everything, and as he stared, suddenly everything made sense.
He was late to the story, that much was obvious, and by at least a year if what The Princess said was true.
He didn't miss the sonic rainboom, it never happened in the first place.
He turned his head, almost dreading what he would see printed there on his flank.
A magic looking symbol, some sort of rune made out of an eight-pointed star inside of another eight-point star, but the most important part was what it represented.
His special talent was Magic.
"Silver Spark... how would you like to become my own personal student?"
Fuck.
Never before have I felt sympathy for a character I've written, but...
I think a few of the smart ones in the comments will notice the lack of an 'Alt. Universe' tag at the top, and will figure out what it means.
Also, Silver's Cutie Mark.
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You have a good start but the question is, "Will it be an original story or will it be an over glorified retcon?"
...what was the reference? The path of magic one?
9192796
Probably retcon, judging by the setup
Your writing is quite good. I shall follow this.
9192799
That would be Gildarts from Fairy Tail.
9192796
Er... bit of both? Bit of both. No new villains or anything, but I have some ideas about how to spice things up. Not gonna go into specifics because spoilers.
I was sitting next to my dog and he jump when i lost it reading that
Huh, this is certainly taking a different path from what I usually see from SI stories.
I think what I enjoy the most from the first chapter is the growing horror of the SI as he realizes just what is going on. Its a slow building thing at the end but one of the most enjoyable parts of the chapter as what is going on dawns on him. It adds that sense of dimension to him rather than going with the flow.
I hope to see more of this story in the future!
I hope we're spared from all the terrible futures that Starlight caused!
...except the nightmare moon one...she can stay... ¬_¬
I thought the previous chapter showed promise. I liked it, as short as it was, and was curious about where the story would go.
This chapter lost me.
It started off good with the human being a kid, even when it turned out he was just putting on a show to not stand out as too odd. I even liked him going to Princess Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns. As much as I like Ponyville, that was a nice change of pace. But I think the moment you started losing me was about this line:
Because of course he made his own spells.
I can accept the fact that he's "'Freakishly Good' at magic" as you say, but I can't accept the idea of him having made his own spells when he's a kid. Especially because this is the first chapter; the one where we're introduced to him. If it was later in the story and we got to see him go through the process of creating his own spell, I could accept it, but this was too much.
But it doesn't end there.
So the human in this story (which, by the way, you left the Human tag out of this story; you may want to apply it) has watched MLP and is aware of their world. This can be done correctly. I have seen it be done well. But a lot of the times, I don't see the point. I think that this would have worked better if it was just a human reborn as a foal. Heck, you didn't even have to mention that he's human! You just had to focus on the fact that he's an adult who has been reborn as a unicorn colt.
But back to the awareness of MLP, I don't see why it's important for him to know about the show. Maybe you have a reason, but I'm basing my criticism off of the two chapters I have right now.
Also, this is the first time we're hearing that the human has knowledge of MLP, and the first time we heard that he was originally a human was 5 paragraphs prior. Both just come out of nowhere. Even if you read the description - which you shouldn't have to do; the description should be there to entice you to the story, not explain it - there's nothing saying that he has knowledge of MLP and only allusions that he's human, including no Human tag (again, put that on).
This was hard for me to describe, but essentially, I didn't like how bluntly you put the reference in. I guess I don't like when people reference specific franchises by name, like how you name Final Fantasy to try to copy one of their spells.
Now this one, to be fair, may just be down to me. I don't think I'm going to enjoy this type of storyline. Maybe I would enjoy it, but there are still the previous problems preventing me from getting into this one.
I do hope that everyone who decided to track this enjoys it because it has potential. There are ways I think this story could be done well and I think you're a decent writer, and I hope this story ends up good. However, from these two chapters I've read, the story has a few problems and it has lost me.
Sorry about that. Good luck, and have a nice day!
Interesting start. You definitely have my attention.
9192954
I watched like, 155 or so, and I don't remember something like this. But then again, 155 episodes is a lot, and it's been a few years.
9195653
Considering I've never taken any class on writing and all I know is what I've extrapolated from reading what must be thousands of fanfics at this point, I will take your genuine criticism as what it is, and the fact that you pointed out so few problems as a massive complement.
Oh, and fun fact: He hasn't seen hardly any of the show, but his friend has and often shoved it in his face and said "Watch." So he gave in and watched the first two episodes, then never watched it again and just kinda... nodded along when his friend talked about it.
Your magic technobabble is great.
Wow the cover is surprisingly relevant.
9195795
I wouldn't take the criticism too hard. What you have posted so far isn't bad at all for a very new writer. Writing is a skill, like painting or playing an instrument. No one starts off a master. It takes practice. Writers get better by writing and practice.
While he has a point about the spell creation issue, I think he is being a bit nit picky about the MLP knowledge.
Keep writing this story and try a few short stand alone stories. Slice of life stories can be fun and entertaining. They cam also be short. But most of all, have fun with it.
Fun fact: Mark Twain, is a classic american Author that is widely considered a literary giant. He is responsible for several fantastic stories that are required reading in schools. However, he is also well known for writing the worst crap to ever came out of a typewriter. While his gems made him a giant, the majority of his work was horrendous.
The Monk
The Monk
9195795
You're doing pretty well for your first time, though every thing he said was valid. Don't sit on your laurels and get better! Admittedly, I quite reading for pretty much the same reason he did, but different strokes for different folks n all that.
Huh, I wonder why...
inefficiency, not efficiency.
9195795
Thank you! It's great that you're willing to take my criticism so well. I did write it because I want to enjoy this, but those problems I pointed out got in the way. As I said, I hope this gets better because I do think you're a decent writer and I think this idea has potential.
It is reassuring to know that he (probably) won't be making many references to the show, but I have to ask, if he's only seen the first two episodes then how did he know about Twilight's exam?
And please, give the story a Human tag.
Eight? So...Sunset is also thrown into the mix? At least it seems like foreshadowing that there is one additional character to him and the Mane 6. I am interested in what exactly you have planned, so I will eagerly await the next chapter.
You know, I don't think I've ever seen this angle done before. I'm really curious where this story's gonna go. Thumbs-up and Tracking!
It could've happened before the show, too. There's not any mention of a date in the story so far.
Otherwise, I'll track it. Has potential, let's see how you realise it.
Hmm. Interesting. Gonna track for now. Have a like.
Hmm. You have peeked my interest with this story. Continue.
Hmm... yup! Following this now! You drew me in with Marvin the Martian, and hooked me with... not sure exactley but ya hooked me. Heheh, can’t wait for more!
That looks kinda like blue bloods mark.
WHERE IS THE KABOOM!!
9196254
The same reason I know about Daleks and Time Lord regeneration and the Hybrid and every other thing about Doctor Who, I have a friend who just Wont! Shut! Up! about it!
Edit: Sorry, got a bit heated there.
Great story, can't wait for more, everything fits together nicely. And it sounds like he had far more then what twilight used just no way to direct it like she did. She did cast a bunch of random spells but their effects seemed sort lived.
9196723
Nah, it's fine. It just seems like a specific detail he might not have gotten without having seen the show, is all.
Thank you for tagging the story and good luck with it!
Celestia is not a god. Please don't do that whole mess.
I assume Celestia arranged that test herself, I mean otherwise, that would be the most dangerous entrance test ever, I mean:
"Here little Timmy just shoot some magic at this baby dragon we found, and remember if it breaks the dragons will declare war for killing there unborn in a stupid test."
NOTE: Nevermind you sorta covered that with Celestia being the one to go get the egg but I still stand it was a terrible idea but if what you said about "no good gods" was right this could all be part of her plan to have spike grow up with ponies and one day become dragonlord so that Celestia can indirectly control them too.
Going by the mark I guess he will have a lot of spells that require a medium to cast like a spell circle drawn on a piece of paper or a medallion with something inscribed on it. Which I would like they show a lot of enchanted items in the show but never go into them in much detail so a character who makes, things like that could be interesting.
Lastly, I have soma advice, about spike... MAKE HIM BADASS, without twilight's much more subdued(violence wise any way) nature he would learn to be a bit more destructive and with a human who obviously likes combat spells helping raise him he will probably be a bit more, rough and tumble which mixed with a few combats oriented gadgets from Silver Spark could make an interesting character. Plus if you read the comics you know he can fight surprisingly well so this would just add to that.
Remember if this is cannon
i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/509/657/8a4.jpg
THIS is only a step away
img00.deviantart.net/23d9/i/2012/017/9/9/spike_by_equestria_prevails-d4mnb12.png
9197398
Ahem, can move the sun, can fire literal deathblasts from her horn, has massive amounts of magic only rivaled by an overfeeding bug that has been draining magic for weeks if not MONTHS, can only be killed, won't die of natural causes SUB: Even THEN we have no proof that she CAN die.
So, at the VERY least. VERY VERY VERY LEAST. We can give her the title of demigod. AT LEAST. Zeus, a GREEK god, is comparable to Celestia. they are both 'immortal' even though they have stories where they can be killed. They both have massive amounts of power, control over some element, and rule over a species eerily similar to them in shape. And last but not least, they both can make others like them. Or at the very least in Zeus' case, other gods have the power to. SEE! Even what you would consider a "god" doesn't have the same amount of power as Celestia. So nyaaaa
9197398
How dare you doubt the holy power of Celestia she shall burn you with holy fire and then bake you cupcakes because she's just that good
9197398
she is by definition a god
you don't even need to be immortal to be classified as a god, some Norse gods died from stupid things like a single thorn.
Hey sorry for the deleted post thing on ur main acc, I felt it better to post this here,
I almost passed this story up without giving it a chance because of the cover art, so here is a small gift from me, Cannot wait for more chapters
i.imgur.com/Y6hA32I.png
9197716
You have no idea how much this means to me, really. Thank you so much, I'll put it up right away!
Edit: I'm actually crying now. Thank you.
I have been stalking and reading on this site lost silent for ageeeees and read the vast majority of the most popular stories. And yours has me got me as excited as the first couple chapters of the Martian made me. I am intrigued and anxiously waiting more.
9197819
Your welcome, And im glad to help in any way ;)
Great start, but I have one question about the visual end of his Haste cast: I don’t know a whole lot about light waves, but if the light is going faster wouldn’t it just get more intense blue? I.e. more light in the same space? Or failing that, if speeding up visible light is increasing its frequency, wouldn’t it shift more towards violet instead of red, since red is the low frequency of the light spectrum and violet the high?
9195166
If you think about it, every alternate timeline created in that episode never had a sonic rain boom, but to get to, say, the Tirek timeline somepony had to stop all the threats up to that point.
9192796
you mean rehash, not retcon.
Only two chapters and i'm already very interested , Please keep up the good work.
*Looks at backside and realizes when exactly he is*
God dammit. I don't want to be the damn hero here.
Obviously
No, no it's most definitely not
Ahhh, but it's not about what others think she is, but rather what she thinks she is
She was supposed to do it a year ago from the sound of it
Dangit Starlight, this is what happens when you mess with the timeline
Hmmm... I'm confused.
So this story is called "Something Missing", and it's called that because the main character's been put into a unicorn's body and realizes he's missing something, but he doesn't know what it is... until...? And that's what the summary is in a nutshell. But the chapters themselves weave a different tale. The first chapter has our main character getting wedged inside a foal's head which could lead to developmental problems further down the line (which doesn't seem to be a factor in the slightest, here). Then the second chapter is him telling the audience that he's used his awesome human mind to figure out how to master spells and make his own (one of which is Haste, one of "the best spells in the Final Fantasy series", though I'd argue that Ultima or Quick [FFVI] are better), and then... he does the test, but steals Twilight's egg using an anime reference (one I don't get because I'm a filthy casual) because he took the test before she did, which either means he's going to supplant Twilight's role in the show, or he's retconned the Mane 6's relevancy in its entirety (which would mean this is an alt universe story regardless of what it's tagged).
So I don't know what to think. This could be a laughably dumb fanfiction, but it's too soon to say for sure. So... I guess I'll stick around and find out?
AHHH NO ITS GOT MY OC'S NAME!
I guess it's a popular name, then.
Anyways, I really like this story so far. I cant wait to see more from you!
I'm pretty sure the story takes place in the cannon universe, just with the MC replacing Twilight, but everything aside from that remaining generally the same, hence no alt universe tag. Neat story so far though, reminds me of a manga whose name eludes me atm. Looking forward to a fun ride.
9198127
I'm pretty sure the "Something Missing" is either Twilight Sparkle, or the Mane Six in entirety. Lack of a rainboom makes me suspect the latter.
So, it'd be a retelling of the canon story, except with completely different people slotted in where the main characters are. The human character himself has setting foreknowledge, which I normally find uninteresting, but in this case it serves as motivation to find the real heroes since he knows the world is better off with them.
9198188
Huh, well I hope that's not the case, then.
I also don't buy that the main character would have enough magical power and finesse to flabberghast the school headmasters of a gifted academy. Their literal job description is to observe and grade statistical outliers, and they're bound to have seen their share of clever tricks from uppity squirts. A new variation on an old spell (or setting equivalent) is the go-to example for demonstrating subject mastery.
Also, word of caution: being weaker than Twilight Sparkle is still obscenely above the norm. OP characters tend to get boring fast, especially when they're OP flexible.
I can accept that an adult human mind who's used to the excessive mental stimulation of our modern information age, plus having familiarity with complex systems like what's found in most (good) games and animes, and given maybe a year or two with nothing better to do, will probably figure out a few clever tricks with the magic system. That said, they're still going to make mistakes while learning, and we've seen how disastrous magical mistakes can get in the show.
What I don't buy is a mental adult learning the local language as fast as a child. Babies are wired to learn languages, but lose that ability as they age. It isn't impossible for someone past their childhood to pick up a new language, but it's quite a bit harder. Growing up, wouldn't he come off as a little slow, or even retarded? Would he really end up in a gifted school like that?
But most of all, I doubt that the setting doesn't also have nerds, because we've seen them. They might not have anime, but they do have tabletop gaming. Some of those graders might've been impressed by the level of talent being demonstrated by a child, but do you really think it'd be something they can't personally reproduce? And if they can't, then what's the reason for the character's supernormal level of power?
Hmm... I suppose I can't really give writing advice. But personally, I would've spent a chapter or two showing the character's childhood. As things are now, we're forced to accept that your character is super awesome for reasons that are never shown, which makes it really hard to believe. Do you have an idea of why your character is so special? Then write it; seeing the character's growth through your eyes will help people to see him in the same way you do.
And if I'm allowed to give suggestions, then I'd suggest the following: Decide on how the magic works, and stick to it. Magic without rules is just author fiat. Magic with rules is character ability.
Ah, but that's just me. And as you can see, I don't have a story to my name. So, make of all this what you will.